Chapter 9 – Please Forgive Me

When Harry returned to Gryffindor tower he immediately went to find Draco. He scanned the common room but didn't see Draco so he headed up the stairs to the dormitory. When he reached the dormitory he saw Draco lying on the bed asleep. Stepping closer to the bed he noticed that Draco's eyes were puffy and knew he had been crying. Harry felt terrible. He didn't want to wake Draco up right away so sat down in one of the chairs near the bed and watched Draco sleep.

Draco had fallen asleep on the bed an hour after Harry left the common room. He had thought about the situation and everything Harry had said to him and he had no idea what to make of it. He couldn't understand how Harry could possibly like him after everything that had happened between them in years past. All he knew was that he wanted Harry to tell him why he liked him. He wanted Harry to prove that he liked him, that he could someday love him. If Harry wouldn't prove that to Draco then it could be a joke. Draco eventually became tired from his thinking and crying, drifting off to sleep.

Draco's eyes fluttered lightly and Harry knew he was about to wake up. Nervously Harry approached the bed and sat lightly at the foot of it. Draco's eyes opened and he looked around himself, seeing Harry. Harry smiled at Draco but had no idea what to say.

"You came back," whispered Draco who was surprised to see Harry back so soon.

"You thought I wouldn't?" Draco could hear the worry in Harry's voice.

"It crossed my mind."

"I would never do that. You know I wouldn't." Harry and Draco stared at each other for a moment. Draco had so many questions for Harry. Sighing, Draco spoke again.

"So what did you decide?" Draco said, his voice bitter.

Harry was surprised by the tone of Draco's voice. Things weren't going well and, at this rate, Draco would never forgive him. Harry sighed nervously then turned to Draco. "Draco...Draco I'm sorry. Please let me explain everything to you. I don't want you to be mad at me."

"Start explaining." Draco's voice was bitter again and Harry hated the sound of it.

"When I left the common room I found the Room of Requirement..." Harry said, and continued to tell Draco what he had seen in the mirror.

"And it took a mirror for you to figure all this out? Was it really that hard?"

"Yes but - "

"I wasn't finished," Draco interrupted. "You can't expect me to forgive you right off the bat. You hurt me. A lot. How do I know it won't happen again? How do I know that you won't change your mind at the drop of a hat again? How do I know that you really like me? How could you like me after everything I did to you...after what I said to you at the Ministry?"

Harry felt overwhelmed by Draco's questions and his mind was franticly trying to come up with the answers. "I know that I hurt you and I wish I hadn't. I feel terrible about it. Really I do. And I promise you that I won't hurt you ever again." Harry paused and took a breath. "I never doubted that I liked you. If I didn't like you then I wouldn't have been concerned about you becoming a target of Voldemort. I wouldn't have cared that you wanted to fight Voldemort with me. But I do like you Draco and that's why I had to think things out." Harry paused and waited for Draco's reaction.

"Okay. So you like me." Harry's heart ached when he heard Draco's tone. It sounded so uncaring and disbelieving of Harry's feelings. "But how? I can't believe that anyone would like me, especially you. Could you ever love me or is this just a whim? We've been enemies since, oh, first year."

"Draco I...I...Merlin Draco I haven't thought about it all that much!" Harry was anxious and worried that he wouldn't say the right thing, that he would lose Draco.

"Well maybe you should have thought about it when you were strolling around the castle."

Harry felt tears prickling his eyes. How could Draco be so cold towards him? Didn't Draco like him? Harry sighed and spoke. "I like you Draco. I don't know exactly when I started to like you. But I think about you all the time. When I wasn't thinking about Sirius this summer I was thinking of you. I tried not to think about you. It seemed so impossible that you would like me, even as a friend." Harry paused and sniffed, trying to blink away the tears in his eyes. He couldn't lose Draco. "I tried to ignore what my heart was telling me. But then I came to the castle and you were here too. I got a chance to see the real you and I fell hard."

"What about everything I said to you and your friends? Doesn't that bother you at all?"

"Draco I...I know this sounds weird but I've watched you since first year. And I've watched you really closely. I know you much better than lots of people would think. To everyone else, everything you said and did to me seemed like real hatred. I thought you hated me for the longest time too but looking back I know you didn't. I didn't hate you either. I had to make myself keep up the hatred act. I was supposed to hate you because you were the enemy. I had to live up to the expectations of everyone around me. You had to live up to the expectations of everyone around you. Everyone expected us to hate each other. I was in the same situation you were in." Harry paused, collected his thoughts, and spoke again.

"Whenever you were cruel to me and my friends you sounded hateful. But whenever I looked at your eyes I could see that the hate didn't reach them. Not like it would if you hated me completely. And at the Ministry when you said you would kill me, I knew that you didn't mean it. You were just saying what everyone expected you to. If you didn't, who knows what would have happened to you. I would have done the same thing if I was in your position."

Draco stared at Harry in disbelief. How could Harry have known all those things about him? Why would Harry even bother with it? Unless... Draco sighed and looked at Harry who was waiting for a response from him. Draco didn't say anything so Harry spoke once more.

"I wish I hadn't hurt you. I never wanted to and I definitely don't want to hurt you again. If you can't forgive me, I understand." Harry felt his throat tighten and he heard his voice choke up as he said the last sentence. Harry stood up from the bed and turned around. He didn't want to look at Draco if Draco was going to reject him.

Draco heard the pain and fear in Harry's voice. He knew that he wanted to forgive Harry but he didn't know how to say that he did. "Harry," Draco said, receiving no response from him. "Harry look at me."

Harry turned around and looked at Draco, his eyes shining from tears.

"I know you like me Harry. I...well...I shouldn't have doubted you. It's all just so overwhelming. No one has ever told me that they liked me before and meant it. I overreacted. I don't feel like I can trust anyone anymore because everyone I have ever trusted has betrayed me. I was afraid to trust you and I'm sorry that I didn't." Draco didn't chance a look at Harry's face. He didn't want to know what Harry was thinking. He hoped Harry wasn't starting to have doubts as well.

"How long have you liked me Draco?"

"Uh. Well." Draco was taken back by Harry's question. He hadn't been expecting anything like that. "I've had a crush on you since the day at Madam Malkin's," Draco whispered. "And now I like you a lot." He quickly glanced up at Harry's eyes and was caught in Harry's emerald gaze.

Harry walked towards the bed and sat down next to Draco. "Draco, please forgive me," Harry said, looking pleadingly into Draco's eyes.

"I'm sorry Harry." Draco looked away from Harry's eyes.

Harry started to panic. This was it. Draco didn't want to be with him. "What do you mean you're sorry? Sorry for what?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you. I'm sorry for doubting your feelings. I'm sorry for not trusting you when I should have. I'm...I'm sorry." Draco looked at Harry's face and saw that he was trembling slightly. Before Draco could say anything, Harry kissed him hard on the lips then pulled away.

"Harry why are you shaking?" Draco asked his voice filled with worry.

"I thought...when you said you were sorry I thought...I thought you were going to tell me that you couldn't forgive me and that you didn't want to be with me."

"I don't think I could ever stay mad at you. You're too..." Draco's voice trailed off.

"Too what?" Harry asked.

"Too cute. Too sweet. Too lovable," Draco said softly. He saw Harry blush a lovely shade of red and he smiled, wiping a single tear from Harry's face.

"Come on Harry. I need some breakfast. All this fighting is making me hungry," Draco said, trying to lighten the mood. Harry smiled at Draco's comment. He was glad to see Draco back to his old self.

"Okay let's go," Harry replied.

Draco and Harry stood up from the bed, Harry intertwining his fingers with Draco's. Hand in hand they walked to the Great Hall.