Part Nine

"O'Neill."

"Hi there, T. What have you got there?" Jack greeted the other man, and tried to see the parcel he was holding at the same time.

Teal'c smiled. "I was told that it is customary to bring a patient in hospital grapes. I have done so. I must admit to not fully understanding this custom, as you are not able to consume these fruit, or any other for that matter. I have come to the conclusion that the gift of grapes allows the patient to enjoy the sight of the giver as they feast on the gift." He took a small bunch of purple fruit from the bag, and began to eat. "These are most pleasant. Thank you, O'Neill."

"Damn, Teal'c, did anyone ever tell you that you were truly evil?"

"No, O'Neill. At least no one who lived."

Jack began to laugh, snorting a little, holding his hand across his belly. "Don't. Oh crap!" He started to breathe in short gasps, thumping his head on the pillow.

Teal'c pressed his hand into the Colonel's shoulder, holding him firmly. "Calm yourself, O'Neill."

"Easy for you to say." Jack's voice came in a breathless whisper, but he began to relax. Within a few minutes he was breathing more easily, and the tremors that had been running through him gradually subsided. Finally Teal'c released his hold and sat back.

"I am sorry I caused you distress, O'Neill."

"It wasn't your fault, Teal'c." He rubbed a shaking hand across his face. "I hate this. I feel like I'm never going to get out of here."

Teal'c looked confused. "Did not Doctor Fraiser tell you she intended to remove the stomach tube tomorrow? Within a few days you should be well enough to leave the infirmary. Has something changed?"

Jack shook his head, shutting his eyes. "No. Nothing's changed. Except I don't feel like I'm getting any better. I wouldn't be surprised if the Doc delays the removal procedure and keeps me in here."

"Has she not examined you, O'Neill? Has she said anything to that effect?"

"She said that I should start to feel better when I'm able to eat properly again, and not to worry." He gave a rueful half smile. "Not that I told her that I was."

"I am sure you didn't."

Jack opened his eyes and glared up at the other man. "Am I that obvious?"

"Only to your friends, O'Neill."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Teal'c met his teammates, as arranged, in Doctor Jackson's office. Once the obligatory coffee was poured he began his report.

"I visited Colonel O'Neill as agreed. He appears depressed and is concerned that his continued frailty will delay his being released from the infirmary."

"Did you see any signs of new scratches?"

"No, Major Carter, only those we have previously noted, on his arms. However, his arms are bandaged and he does not have easy access to them. I am sure that the medical staff would have noticed any other injuries and informed Doctor Fraiser."

The second set of scratches had appeared on the Colonel's other arm within a day of the first. This time it had been the uninjured arm and it had taken some fast-talking on the part of O'Neill to placate the Doctor. It had resulted in the bed in his small private room being replaced, even though nothing sharp enough to scratch a sleeping patient could be found. So far there had been no further incidents.

"Maybe it was the bed." Daniel suggested hopefully. "We might be worrying about nothing."

"Perhaps." Teal'c nodded slowly. "However I do not believe this is the case."

"Well, we can't say anything to the General, that's certain. If he thought that Jack was harming himself deliberately, he'd never let him back on active service."

Sam began to pace, crossing the small space in a few short steps, before turning back towards her friends. "What about Janet? What if I spoke to Janet privately about our suspicions?"

"She'd be obliged to tell the General, you know that." Daniel answered, balling his hands into fists. "We're damned if we do and damned if we don't. Let's just keep watching him, and be there if he wants to talk."

"I can not see that happening, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel looked down at the floor. "No, Teal'c, neither can I."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"It's good to see you out of bed, Colonel. Doctor Fraiser tells me you should be able to go home within the week." General Hammond smiled at the man sitting, cocooned in blankets, in a chair, a book on his lap.

"Yes, sir. I'll be out of her hair as soon as she gives the all clear. Then it's up and into the fresh air. I feel like I've been breathing in this recycled crap for years." He stopped, grinning. "Sorry, sir."

Hammond laughed, shaking his head. "No need to apologise, Jack. I know exactly what you mean. But, I know you. A few weeks of sick leave and you'll be begging to come back down here."

"Probably, sir."

"For a while there I thought you might be staying here a little longer. Doctor Fraiser had some concerns about your recovery." Hammond gave a quick look at the other man's now healed arms, his glance obvious.

"There is no problem now, sir." Jack's tone was firm. "I'm fine. Hell, I'm even able to eat jello without throwing up. Give me a few days and I'm sure I'll be sharing a pizza with Teal'c."

"Mind if I sit down?" The General didn't wait for permission, pulling a chair over closer to the other man and sitting, their knees almost touching. "Jack, we need to talk."

"What about, sir?" The Colonel stared his CO defiantly in the eye.

"Your report to me on the events on P6B-145."

"Ah, Planet Human Shisk-ke-bob. I don't suppose we can just forget I ever made that report? Screw it up? I'll happily write a new one."

Hammond returned the Colonel's stare. "You know better than that, son. If you don't talk to me, you'll have to have a few more sessions with McKenzie than I've already scheduled." He frowned at the expression on Jack's face. "And there is no point giving me that look. You know the regulations, psychiatric sessions are mandatory after being tortured."

"I know that, sir." Jack spoke tonelessly.

"I know you do, son. Plus I know you've been through this procedure before, but this time it's a little different, so let's try and make it as painless as possible."

Colonel O'Neill's fingers moved restlessly against the sleeves of his robe. "What do you want to know?"

"You gave me the basics of what happened, Jack, and I have to say, it turned my stomach. I want you to tell me how you feel about it, now that you've had time to think on what they did and perhaps why they did it."

"How I feel about it?" The long fingers dug into the material, bunching it up. "A bit pissed off to be honest, sir. I mean, couldn't they have just opened a can of cat food?"

Hammond sighed and began to stand. "If you aren't going to cooperate..."

"Wait, sir." Jack held out a hand, snagging the General's sleeve. "I'm sorry. It's just not the most comfortable thing to remember, let along talk about."

Hammond resettled himself in the chair. "What do you remember?"

Jack's eyes flickered away, staring unfocused at the far wall. "Being stripped naked, tied down, and examined like some strange animal."

"This isn't the first time this has happened to you, Jack. I've read your file.

The brown eyes stayed resolutely fixed on the wall. "They paid for the privilege. They paid to touch me, to hurt me. They weren't doing it to get information. They weren't interested in even trying to communicate with me. They just wanted to watch me suffer as much as possible, like bullies hurting an animal that can't fight back. They didn't see me as human at all. Even the people that freed me didn't see me as any more than an animal. Once they let me go they didn't care if I lived or died. And when I was recaptured and had lost novelty value, they would probably have just finished feeding me to their pets, a convenient and amusing source of freshly cooked meat if I hadn't been rescued." Jack's voice was completely without emotion.

"Son." Hammond gently touched the back of Jack's hand, making him flinch, the hand quickly tucked into the robe's sleeves." Look at me."

"They did that." The Colonel kept his gaze on the wall, his eyes shadowed.

"What?"

"They touched me. Some like that, gently, stroking. Some harder, roughly. Some...laughed." Jack whispered the next words, making Hammond lean forward to catch them. "There were children. What sort of parents would let their children do that?"

Hammond didn't seem to have the words to answer.

But it didn't matter, because Jack didn't notice, his eyes vacant and staring at nothing. He carried on, speaking even more quietly. "In the end, it wasn't just hands. They paid. They used other things. Checking me out, seeing how much pain I could take. It was so impersonal, like they were just experimenting, probing and pushing, observing. It wasn't as bad as Iraq, not like that anyway, but at least in Iraq I knew why they did it. At least they knew I was human."

He tore at his arm with his nails, dragging them down the skin.

"Jack!" General Hammond jumped up, grabbing his hand and forcing it away. "Stop that! What are you doing?"

"I was just an animal. An animal with no feelings. But I do. See? I bleed just like they do. They just needed to look me in the eyes once to see that." He shook violently, as Hammond held him tight.

"Look at me, son. Look at me."

The eyes that gazed back at the General were filled with pain. Jack looked down at the gouges in his arm. "Oh god, what am I going to do?"

Hammond gripped Jack's hands, waiting as he calmed, catching his eyes with his own. "Don't you worry, son, you're home now, and we aren't about to give up on you. No way am I going to lose my best officer to those bastards." His voice softened. "We'll work this out together." He pulled away gently, slowly getting to his feet. He looked down at O'Neill, his eyes determined.

"I'm not going to leave a member of my team behind, Colonel. Have no doubt of that."