Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing
_I wrote a sequel to 'Goodbye' I know I probably shouldn't have, but I did. I hope you guys likes and compliments the first. I don't want to take anything away from the first story. Well anyhow here it is. *Wrote this a long time ago just posting it now. Don't really know what, but hey it's finished so enjoy and tell me what you think. *
Just Like Me
Chapter 1 'Rising and Falling
The sky was dark right on the verge of plunging everything into darkness. The very beginnings of bright stars were barely present. The moon wasn't coming out, but Heero wanted to be in the dark. So dark that he wouldn't be able to see himself in the haze. Only the stars dotting the night sky to keep him company. He let out a heavy sigh and reached around his neck to loosen his tie. He grabbed the small knot and pulled it firmly until it hung loosely on his neck and he undid the first two buttons on his collared shirt. He drew his legs up and set his elbows on his knees and looked at the blue grass underneath him. Absently he grabbed a few blades and set them in his palm. He closed his fist around the pieces and brought the hand up to his face. Moving almost cautiously he opened his palm and blew gently on the blades and watched them float off into the night. He felt like that, like he was floating away and there was nothing that could pull him back. Things had just gotten big, too big for him.
Heero put his arm back on his knee and looked toward the sky. He didn't know what he was looking for or even why he was there. The yearning seemed to have become stronger. He still wanted to know what it was that haunted him. Why was it that he couldn't seem to let go of it and move on? The war still plagued his dreams. This battlefield still drew him like a magnet. Heero took his arms off his knees and locked them behind his head and fell backwards. The grass cushioned his fall and made a slight 'wuff' when he landed. He grazed up into the night all the while searching his mind for what it was the haunted him, what made him walk, and search.
"I thought I might find you here."
Heero didn't turn his head or even give an indication that he had heard the voice. He looked up for a few moments longer before he answered. "Relena…" He spoke her name as if it explained everything and why he was there. It didn't though. It just meant he knew it was her talking to him.
"I waited for you at home. We were supposed to go out tonight." Her voice was light and a little bit sorrowful.
Heero turned this time to look at her. Her golden locks were pulled up and away from her face with a few strands cradling her angelic face. She was wearing a dark blue dress the accentuated her features and made her eyes stand out. She was beautiful and he had let her down again. He lifted himself off the ground and back to a sitting position his hands linked in front of him this time and then came to rest on his knees again. "I'm sorry." He said finally and looked at the sky. "I forgot."
"It seems you've been forgetting a lot lately." Relena mused slowly and lowered herself beside her husband. She didn't make him turn toward her but laid her head on his shoulder and pushed closer to him her arm resting around his waist. It wasn't long before his arms made its way around her shoulders and his chin rested on top of her head. He didn't say anything, just held her.
Relena snuggled closer to him and closed her eyes. She hated it when he was like this. Heero didn't forget, or he never had before, he'd forget their plans, but never the battlefield. He would zone out for weeks at a time and come here every night. Sometimes he would refuse to come home and sometimes he would hold her close like this and they would sit there for hours. He would barely say a word and she would just be there for him. When it wasn't this he was just himself. They would joke, play around, argue good naturally anyway, go out. They would be a family, but always it would come back here and he would be worse than he was last time. It was something in his past that he couldn't seem to let go of.
"Maybe Heero you should talk about it." She felt him stiffen under her words but didn't pull away. He didn't say anything either so she continued. "We haven't been married that long Heero, just a few months but we've known each other for a long time. I barely hear you speak of your past. Maybe if you tell me I'll understand." She felt his arm leave her shoulders and she sat back up and looked at his profile in the night. It was so regal and defined.
"Relena, I don't…I don't really remember that much, but what I do remember I don't want to think about it." He told her honestly. He didn't want to push her away like he had last time, when he had nearly lost her, but he didn't want to burden her with his past. What if she didn't accept it? What if the monster he had been was too much for her? He banished the thoughts as soon as they entered his mind. That wasn't possible. She'd said she loved him forever, and he knew she'd meant it. She was wearing the ring he'd put on her finger. She was his wife.
"You don't have to tell me now." She paused and pulled his face toward her so she could look into his eyes. "I know it's hard for you to think about, and I know you've told me a lot about yourself, but there is stuff you left out and I think that might be why this field calls you. There has to be something here that is unfinished. Maybe if we look at your life together we can find it." She smiled at him and pulled him close and kissed his cheek. "I love you."
"I love you." He said truthfully letting a half smile appear on his face. "Maybe you're right, but not tonight okay. Just sit with me."
"Anything." She said sweetly and snuggled up next to him again her fingers intertwined with his.
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Relena hugged the toilet her hair hanging in strings around her pale face. She gulped heavily and the pulled one heavy arm off the porcelain and pushed her hair behind her ears. God how she hated being sick. After taking a few ragged breaths, she reached her hand up and pushed the silver handle and the toilet flushed. She watched in quite a sick stupor as her breakfast went down the toilet, again, and perhaps even her dinner from the night before as well. This had been going on for weeks, weeks of nauseous mornings and sleepy tiring afternoons. Groaning loudly, she pulled herself to her feet and put her hand on her stomach. The fluttering was still there but it had calmed considerably. She swallowed and scraped her teeth over her tongue as the remnants of throw up still tainted her mouth. Gathering a large wad of saliva she spit into the toilet and flushed it again. She was going to have to brush her teeth before she talked to anymore representatives. She certainly didn't want to scare them away with her horrendous breath.
Giving a weak smile Relena opened the stall door and stepped out of the bathroom stall and went to the sink. She kept a toothbrush with her at all times lately because of her constant throwing up. It seemed weird to her she had never been that nervous when she was about to give a speech or at least never nervous enough to throw up. Opening the flap of her small purse she pulled out the purple brush and squeezed a dab of toothpaste onto it. The mint flavor burned her mouth, but she figured that was a good thing perhaps burning all the bad breath germs from her tongue and off the roof of her mouth.
As she brushed her teeth she looked at herself critically in the mirror. Her face was pale and her eyes red from lack of sleep. There where dark circles under her heavy blue eyes that showed even through her make up. She couldn't remember ever being so tired. Maybe everyone was right and she was wearing herself down. It didn't seem right though if anything she should be better with Heero. She sighed again and sloshed the paste around in her mouth one last time before spitting it in the sink. She was rinsing her toothbrush when Lady Une opened the door.
"Relena?" She asked and peaked in through the cracked door. When she saw the young woman at the sink she stepped all the way in and pulled the door shut behind her. "Are you all right. I think you ran out of there faster than anything I've seen move." She smiled and looked at the toothbrush still clutched in her fist. "Nervous?"
Relena nodded. "I guess that's it. I don't usually get this bad." She smiled a little and put the toothbrush back in her purse. "It's not a good image for me. You know being nervous running out of meetings all of it is bound to drag me down somehow."
"Who ever said this life was an easy one. Heero just got here though and he's asking about you." She reached her hand out and grabbed hold of Relena's arm to pull her toward the door.
"What did you tell him?" Relena asked reluctantly. "Did you tell him I was sick?"
"No." Une shifted a little. "I didn't know at the time that you were sick, but come to think about it you've been sick a lot lately. You think it might be stress?"
"Please don't tell him that." Relena said exasperated. "Last time he thought I was sick he locked me in the house for a solid week and refused to let me leave. He's too overprotective and besides he has other things to worry about."
Lady Une raised her brow in suspicion but opted against saying anything about it. "Any way they're all asking for you in fact. It seems that Hilde and Duo are in town again and they have some news."
"I thought they hated this kind of stuff." Relena snorted. "At least I know Duo does. He hates dressing up."
"Well then you know whatever it is must be really great to get him down here and in a suit no less." Lady Une smiled and grabbed Relena's arm and pulled her toward the door again. "Now lets get out of here and get this little get together taken care of so I can go home. Mariemaya has been a handful lately and she's driving the babysitters nuts."
Relena laughed at the thought. What would Mariemaya be doing? The possibilities were endless. "Well when they hit those pre-teen years…" Relena mused.
"Don't even joke." Lady Une exclaimed exasperated. "The girl is incorrigible."
"Oh but you love her for it." Relena commented as they stepped back into the hall of delegates.
"She reminds me of Trieze. You know in her personality. They were both very strong willed and Mariemaya is determined to get whatever she wants."
Relena laughed lightly her stomach feeling better already and relaxed slightly when she caught sight of Heero standing with Duo and Hilde a slight scowl on his face. He was still thinking about the field and probably fighting the urge to walk it right now, but sometimes, for her, he would ignore it. Usually that meant he was coming back again.
Heero looked up his intense blue eyed gaze falling on hers. He lifted the corners of his mouth in a slight smile, but his eyes told everything he couldn't say aloud. He was happy to see her and he loved her. It was all she needed and all she had ever wanted from him. When she reached his side he wrapped a possessive arm around her waist and pulled her to him.
"Where were you?" He asked his warm breath tickling her ear.
Relena swallowed. She could never lie to him. "I was in the bathroom." There was no reason for him to ask why that would have been obvious so she was safe on that aspect. "Why did you almost have to talk to someone?" She joked.
"They kept asking me where you were. A few seconds more and I would have killed them all." He added lightly. His voice didn't give a hint of any joking, but Relena knew he was. She smiled and elbowed him.
"One day someone will over hear you and take you're threats seriously."
"Hopefully." Heero responded immediately.
"So what's the big news." Lady Une asked not wasting anytime.
Duo grinned widely and put his arm around Hilde. "Well Hilde's…"
"Pregnant." She burst out joy overflowing from her lips.
"Babe, I wanted to tell them." Duo pouted, or tried to the smile just wouldn't leave his face.
"Hilde that's wonderful!" Relena cried and reached out wrapping the girl in a hug. "I can't believe it. It feel like you two just got married!"
Heero reached out and took Duo's hand in his. "Congratulations Duo, and I mean it." Heero said mildly and clasped the other man's shoulder briefly before letting his gaze fall back to the floor. He still wasn't good at this range of emotions thing. He was getting better though.
"Thanks man." Duo grinned and looked over at Hilde who was chatting exuberantly with Relena and Lady Une oblivious to the people sending them strange looks. "I never thought of myself of being a father until I met Hilde. Do you ever think about it Heero, about being a father."
Heero frowned, thinking. He couldn't imagine himself a father. How would he ever be able to take care of something so small and fragile? The mere thought of making a life made his blood race with fear. "I don't think I'm cut out to be a father." Heero replied honestly as he gazed on Relena wondering if she would want children, if she thought about it.
"Don't sell yourself so short man." Duo added worriedly. "You didn't see yourself falling in love either."
"Hmph." Heero replied finding it the only answer he could give at the moment. He really didn't think he'd have to think about it. He was really pushing it with Relena as it was. He didn't know if it was possible for him to be a role model. He had done some many horrible things in his life…how would he ever be able to raise a son or daughter.
Heero listened idly to Duo as he chatted adding a few words in here and there but he mainly watched Relena. Her face was absolutely glowing with the news. Could she possibly want children and would she after knowing what he had done so many years ago.
Relena could feel her husband's eyes on her and turned around for a moment and met his penetrating gaze. She sent him a warm smile expecting something back, but he just dropped her gaze and looked at the floor. Relena frowned, that wasn't like him. Something was bugging him. She decided to ignore it for now and turned back to Hilde. There would be plenty of time to talk to him about it later. They were still yet to have their talk and he was due.
So how is it so far?