###########
That evening over last- meal there was much discussion about packing up and going to Norden, where the little Jedi temple just on the outskirts of the equally small city was located .
Obi-Wan had not offered his input of the idea for nothing was asked of him. In fact it had grown quite quickly since the confrontation of he and his grandmother that the child feared to speak because he feared retribution for just being there; for just being Qui-Gon's son.
It did not take much to realize the woman held some kind of unnatural hatred for him just because he was the son of Qui-Gon. Obi couldn't figure it out for in his eight-year old mind he thought he should be just like Damien. After all he was a grandson.
After last meal Qui-Gon headed for his office to do some paper work. He had seen the little coat that his mother had provided Obi-Wan. He was grateful but he wished she had picked the child up some gloves and a hat.
//I suppose I can go to town this weekend and purchase them for him. He hasn't been there yet. Maybe I will take him with Damien and I. //
Qui-Gon had almost let the door click shut to his office when he heard his mother call in an angry-like voice to Obi-Wan. They stood in the hall not three feet from his door. Jinn listened to see what his son had done this time.
"Make sure you hang that coat up. That's probably why you don't have anything now. You weren't taught how to take care of anything.
"O.D. Dhank you for buying it for me."
"Don't thank me. You know it was your fath…. Qui-Gon's idea."
"May I go in his office and dell him goodnight and dhank him for my new coat?"
"No…"
The answer was quick and it even startled Jinn to hear the anger in it.
"My son doesn't need to be bothered by you. You just don't get it child, he does not want you. No matter how hard you push yourself on him you won't ever be accepted. He has a job and obligation to raise Damien. Now go on to bed. Did you finish the cleaning of the dining area and put the dishes in the dish washer like I said?"
"Yes"
Jinn could feel disappointment mixed with the feeling of not being wanted seep from the child. How could he not? Both Jedi father and son that this undeniable link and it seemed to become more prominent with each passing day. Jinn stayed shielded most of the time to keep the child out. He didn't want to feel his pain. But right now, almost anyone could at least see the pain of not being wanted etched in on Obi-Wan's face.
Obi-Wan walked through the darkened hall and Jinn could see through the crack of the door that he held his head down. Once his mother was out of the hall, Jinn called to Obi-Wan who was just about to step into his bedroom room.
"Did you wish to speak to me little one?"
"Oh yes sir.. I mean.. well Dat's alright."
Jinn could tell Obi didn't know how his father knew he wanted to speak to him and fear stopped the boy from telling all the truth.
"Do you want to come in?"
Jinn swung the door open more, for Obi to come in his office.
Obi-Wan took a step and then looked almost guiltily down the hall to where his grandmother had gone.
Obi hesitated again and stood pulling on the hem of his tunic.
"No dhat's alright. I know you are very busy. I just wanted to "Dhank" you for my new coat."
Jinn heard a little lisp to Obi's speech but ignored it.
"Well it is hardly new, but you are welcome. I plan to go to the city this weekend. Maybe you can go with Damien and I and get some gloves and a hat to go with them."
Obi smiled a little before he checked down the hall again. Jinn could tell he was nervous, most probably because he was afraid Jinn's mother would return and catch him talking to his father. Qui-Gon was beginning to suspect that his mother never said or did anything nice for his little one.
"Dhat would be great. Dhank you fath…. I mean sir. I better go study now. Oh and about the coat being not brand new, dhat's O. K.. It is still a great coat to me and I know I will be warmer when I walk to school."
Obi-Wan went into his room.
//A used coat would have never elicited that kind of reaction from Damien. He wouldn't have even thought of wearing something someone else had, let along thank me so graciously as Obi did, to receive it.//
########
Damien had been at the little school with Obi-Wan for only one week and all he did was complain. Of course Myra, Qui-Gon's mother never said anything but side with the boy who in recent weeks had become almost unbearable.
Qui-Gon thought it had a lot to do with his son being there.
Damien liked to make sure of his place in the family.
His actions were akin to the dominant one in a pack of wolves always trying to assert himself as the leader. Damien insisted on being the dominant "wolf" of the "pack". Grandmother went along with his every whim on a daily basis.
Qui-Gon could not help but notice more and more of the burden of the animals' cleaning and feedings was shouldered on the little one.
Obi's father wasn't even sure if Obi-Wan was big enough to carry things like fifty pound feed bags. He did catch the boy huffing and puffing in the middle of the barn as he tried to drag the feed to Raven. As Jinn easily picked up the feed bag he talked with Obi-Wan.
"Has it ever occurred to you to use the force to help with this?"
Jinn had told him not too, he was just curious how Obi-Wan quelled his desire to make things easier for him.
"Only about four or five times a day sir."
"What holds you back. I know I told you not too, but how are you able to resist it?"
"It would be dishonest. I promised you I would not use the force and dhough some days like doday with a big feed bag I am really dempted, but dhen if I did I know I would be in Derrible Drouble."
How if no one saw you?"
"My mom taught me not to lie or be deceitful. It isn't only dhe Jedi Dhat Deach dhose draits you know. Besides I would feel guilty and dell on myself. I don't need any drouble, at least any "more" drouble.
Qui-Gon fed Raven and stood and rubbed the bridge of her nose as she nuzzled into to her owner for needed affection. Not to compare his son to an animal but Jinn realized all living things needed to be wanted and loved. Just as Raven craved his owner's attention, Obi-Wan must do the same, thought his father.
Jinn realized it was time for Obi-Wan to leave for school.
"Better wash up and eat. You have to leave soon."
"I know. Dhanx for helping me sir. I'll go wash up. I don't dhink I have dime to eat dhough. I haven't found dhat dime for a week now. I getting used to it sir."
Obi-Wan left but before he got out the door Jinn called to him.
"Have I ever told you that you could not address me as father or Dad?"
"No sir. I am sorry sir. I will call you whatever you want. It's just dhat.. Well. Gran… I mean your mother said maybe I shouldn't go assuming dhat you wanted to be called father by me."
"Why, am I not your father?"
Obi-Wan looked confused.
"Of course sir… Well I guess its like calling her Grandmother. May I say something sir?"
Jinn nodded his head yes and took a few steps closer to the child. He gently lifted that little cleft chin of Obi-Wan's with his strong rough hands.
"You may say me anything you wish little one."
Words spoken with the kindness that Qui-Gon normally possessed, felt like the warmth of the big fireplace in their living room. Obi-Wan basked in the attention and the kind tranquil way his father spoke to him.
"I don't Dhink your mother ever wants me to refer to you as my father. I don't want to make her dislike me more than I dhink she already does."
Obi-Wan seemed to wait a moment with his breath held in case he got into trouble for voicing his opinion of Qui-Gon's mother's feelings for him..
"I don't think the decision of what you call me is up to my mother. It is up to me and I think you should call me dad or father, something other than "sir". I find calling me "sir" makes me feel older than being called a father."
Obi smiled his broadest smile ever. Every tooth in front showed even down to the one missing space, which for the first time Jinn noticed. Obi-Wan had lost a tooth recently!!!
//That missing front tooth would account for that little lisp I heard in Obi-Wan earlier.//
Jinn smiled about it as any other father would have over a lost tooth. He looked to see Obi-Wan waiting to say something so he turned his attention back to his son.
With a quick little wave and a spoken whisper with the faint little lisp from the missing tooth, Obi said his goodbyes.
"O.D. Dad. See Ya lader"
Qui-Gon had not found the time to go to the city that weekend. He did find Obi-Wan a hat and left it on his bed. Obi smiled when he next saw his father while he headed for his usual place on weekends; to the barn for what seemed like his never ending work on weekends.
The weather had turned very cold and over ten inches of snow had fallen.
Qui-Gon told Damien to shovel the walkway out and a path to the barn. However when he retuned from checking on the livestock, he found Damien in on the computer playing games and Obi-Wan out in the snow with boots that leaked the wet snow and bitter cold in on his feet.
"Damien may I see you a moment?"
Jinn headed for the kitchen to find something very warm to drink. He also panned to make something for his son to warm him up. He told Obi-Wan as he entered the house to put his shovel away and come in out of the bitter cold. Jinn noticed the boy was shaking and his teeth chattered from the bitter cold wind that swept down over the mountains where the snow piled even higher than where they were.
Jinn looked over at the delicious looking muffins on the counter but spoke to his nephew before popping an entire muffin in his mouth.
"Didn't I tell you that the shoveling of the snow was your job?"
"Yes sir you did, but…."
Jinn held his hand up to stop Damien before he had time to object or make an excuse.
"There is no excuse. I don't like lame excuses for not doing what you are told and you know that very well. You disobeyed me and I won't stand for it. Now I think you can go to your room until last-meal. Then if you wish you may come out and give me your explanation for why my instructions were ignored by you."
Damien hung his head in shame. This was the first time his uncle had actually punished him for anything. It was not exactly as hard as the punishment Obi-Wan received but it was no less humiliating. He couldn't wait until his grandmother got home from the market to tell her.
Jinn popped the cranberry muffin in his mouth and headed for the back porch to shovel it and the back walkway. He told his son he would finish up just to get in and warm up.
Obi-Wan came in the front and went immediately to take his boots off and put them in front of the fireplace to dry out before morning. The child learned fast how to survive in this hard and cold climate, especially when the shoes covering your feet lets more snow in than they kept out.
Myra came home in a delightful mood because of the bargains she found that day but her mood turned sour and it aimed its ugly self right at her smallest grandson.
"Have you finished your work Obi-Wan?"
"Yes ma'm. Everything is done."
Obi didn't know if he should mention his dad had helped him shovel. He didn't think it really mattered since it was Qui-Gon who told him to quit and go in out of the bitter cold.
"Where is Damien? When I left he was on the computer."
"I dunno."
For that, Obi-Wan received a quick slap to the back of the head. Myra thought no one was around but she was very wrong. Jinn had just come from the back porch and stood just inside the kitchen unobserved.
Obi and Jinn's mother were in the living and could not see Qui-Gon from where they stood.
"Don't mumble your words child.."
"Yes ma'm."
"I am going to find Damien. I can't believe you have finished the barn chores and the shoveling.."
Myra cast a suspicious glance at the child and Obi felt obligated to tell her his father helped him. That was why he was finished so quickly.
"It is all finished. My dad helped me finish the shoveling so I could come in and dry my feet and get warm."
Another sound smack was delivered but this time to the middle of the boy's back. Then Myra took Obi-Wan by the arm and had intended to shake him but she was interrupted by Qui-Gon when he suddenly appeared at the kitchen door. She wondered where he was when she actually landed the blows to Obi-Wan.
"Oh hi Qui. I was just speaking to Obi-Wan about where Damien is. Have you seen him?"
"Yes mother I sent him to his room for not completing the work I told him to do. He had Obi-Wan do it all."
Jinn remained reserved and fought with every fiber of his body not to reveal the emotions in him that threatened to come out. He didn't want his mother to know he witnessed what just happened. He wanted to see for himself just how far she was willing to go to make his son feel unwanted. He looked down to see his son fighting to hold in tears brought on probably from the humiliation and not the pain for from what Jinn saw, he knew the smacks were not that hard.
"Is there something wrong Obi-Wan?"
Qui-Gon's mother held her breath. She did not want Obi-Wan to tell on her. She took the boy by the arm. But this time is was a gentle grip to get the boy's attention so he would avert his eyes from Qui-Gon to her.
He did so immediately for he thought she was going to hurt him again. Myra stared at Obi almost trying to will him to say not a word about what went on there.
"I asked you a question and I want an answer, son."
Qui-Gon could not help but see the rigidity in his mother's body when he called Obi-Wan, "son". Jinn had become very good at reading body language from the many diplomatic missions he had been on. Sometimes it was not what they said but how they reacted that gave the Jedi master the most information and that proved very true with his mother.
Myra resented Jinn calling this little illegitimate boy his son, though DNA had proven it. It would not have taken blood tests for Qui-Gon to know he was his son. The bond between them was undeniable. Not only was a training bond attempting formation, a very strong father and son bond only known to Jedi was also there.
Jinn was not sure how he felt about them or if he wanted either. However, no matter how he felt he could not abide by letting someone abuse this little cherub-like child before him. For that was how Jinn now viewed the child who struggled desperately to fit in his family. Obi-Wan emitted all things good from a child and Damien seem to grasp anything bad.
Obi-Wan let his big blue eyes wander up to his dad's matching blue ones and stayed fixed on his father's gaze.
"No sir. Everything is alright."
After he answered to Myra's satisfaction she released her grip on Obi-Wan's arm. She thought her secret of the cruelty directed at Obi was intact. Qui-Gon evidently had no knowledge of it she thought, for surely he would have said something had he witnessed it.
Once that was taken care of she stomped off to find Damien. She was not happy about him being sent to his room, but she kept quiet. After all Qui-Gon was the principle guardian to the boy. She felt right now, while he was in that protective father stage, it was not the time to broach her disappointment in Damien being punished.
Myra Jinn left the room.
"Obi I want to see you in my office."
Obi-Wan instantly assumed he was in trouble. He shook his head and followed his father in.
Jinn went behind the great big wooden desk and the comm link interrupted them.
"Oh hi Mace? My decision? I have at least another week. I promise I will let you know in a couple of days. I am certainly being swayed one way especially after what happened today. What am I doing ? Just seeing how far someone would go to make sure another is felt unwanted. No, never mind I will explain later, next time I speak with you. I have Obi in here now and I would rather not go into it."
Jinn looked up to see that the child cowered in fear. Oh he stood in front of the desk but Jinn knew Obi-Wan would have gladly been under the desk than to stand in front of his father right now. His uncertainty of his place in Jinn's life was there for anyone who looked, to see..
Obi-Wan wrung his little hands, dropped them to the side when he saw his father looking at him, and then played with the edge of his tunic.
Jinn listened to Mace continue his ramblings on the comm link and watched as Obi-Wan used his sleeve again to wipe his nose. Qui-Gon pulled a clean hanky from his pocket and he thought he heard Obi mumble a thanx.
"Alright my friend I will comm you in a couple of days. Take care and give Yoda my best."
Qui-Gon hung up the comm link up and looked at his son, who was terrified he had gotten into trouble someway between finishing his work and just coming in.
Jinn stood and leaned over his desk. He placed a large hand under each of Obi's arms and picked him up and over. Obi thought his dad must be the strongest man ever but still he feared him.
Jinn sat the boy down in front of him on the edge of the desk as he eased himself back in his overstuffed leather chair.. He wanted to let Obi-Wan know somehow he was not in trouble. Obi's little bony legs dangled loosely over the desk's edge.
Qui-Gon gently pushed the spiky little head of hair back and tried to send comfort to Obi through their bond. Obi-Wan must have felt it for he relaxed and melted into Jinn's touch and leaned forward toward his dad. Much like Raven had nuzzled into him to be petted more, Obi-Wan leaned forward and let his head bury its self in his father's chest.
Just for a moment Obi-Wan Kenobi reveled in the feeling of being loved and wanted again…………
Jinn let the little one rest against his chest before he pulled him back so he could look into his eyes. He always felt you could tell a lot of things while facing someone eye to eye. Why should a child be any different?
"Where you and your Grandmother having a little argument when I walked in?"
Obi shrugged his shoulders unwilling to outright lie to his father but also unwilling to tell him what happened for fear he would not be believed.
"I s'pose so..well.. maybe... kinda."
"Which is it my imp? Remember I was brought up be the Jedi and was taught always not to lie. I am sure your momma taught you that as well."
Qui-Gon thought he felt Obi-Wan's body tense up just for a second when he mentioned the Jedi. He already knew Obi-Wan's mother had not spoken highly of the Jedi and possibly not of him. He couldn't even fathom what kind of wild tales she had told the child about the Jedi order. That would be another hurdle to jump if they went to the temple, which Jinn was considering strongly of doing.
"I know not to lie sir, I mean dad." You see we kinda… like…. I think maybe your momma was mad at me."
Jinn wanted the child to just tell him the truth, all of it, but he saw he was going to have to pull every syllable from Obi's mouth before he would give up the nasty little truth that Qui-Gon's mother, Myra had hit him not once but twice.
Obi-Wan twisted his little hands together in a fit of nerves. It only took one of Jinn's larger hands to hold both of his son's smaller ones in his. He couldn't help but notice the cuts and scraps from working in the barn. Hands that should have still had the dimpled baby fat on them were thin and pale; veins showed through the paper thin translucent skin and even a couple of calluses formed on the boy's palms.
//This is too hard for him. He is far too young to have calluses forming on those hands.//
"Could you tell me what my motherwas angry with you over?"
"I mumbled?"
"What, excuse me but I think I heard you wrong. You mumbled?"
Obi looked down at the big hand holding his and reversed the order so that he held the big hand of his father's in his two very much smaller ones. He played with Qui-Gon's fingers nervously expecting at any moment for his father to become angry with him.
"Yes sir. She said I mumbled. I guess I didn't "enusceeate" my words right."
"You mean enunciate and I can't believe she would be angry over that. Can you tell me what happened next?"
Obi-Wan waited a moment then nodded his head yes.
"I could but I would rather not. I mean it won't solve any thing.. It over. It's all right now. I don't want to cause any trouble for anyone."
Qui-Gon pulled his hand away and nudged the boy's face up so they could look at each other.
"I would rather you tell me what happened after she became angry over you mumbling your words."
Qui-Gon still was overwhelmed by the idea that his son had been slapped for such a minor infraction.
"Would you make me a promise first?"
"I can't promise if I don't know what I am making the promise for."
"You have to dad or I can't tell you. See it has to be a secret just between you and me. You would have to promise not to tell your momma that I told you anything. Or else I just can't tell you. Sorry!!"
//Reasoning of a child. Obi is worried about causing more trouble when this was clearly my mother's fault. //
"Very well this time I will keep this promise of yours and it will remain a secret between you and I. But let me warn you I can not always make promises like this. Sometimes things you will not want told will have to be addressed?"
"Addressed?" What's that mean?"
"It means sometimes you can't have your way and if I feel we need discuss something with your grandmother, we will have too. Is that understood?"
"Yes, but not this time, right?"
"Right!! Now will you quit stalling and tell me what happened?"
Qui-Gon pulled the little boy into his lap from where he sat on the desk. He was as light as a feather to the big Jedi master.
Obi-wan let himself be engulfed in the big arms of his father. He was glad he didn't have to look at his dad as he told him about Jinn's mother slapping him twice. His little fists twisted and dug into Jinn's tunic as if it actually hurt him to have to tell Qui-Gon such a bad thing about his momma.
He finished the story with a simple two words that broke Jinn's heart.
"I'm sorry."
"What do you have to be sorry for little one?"
"I'm sorry I had to tell you things that your momma did that was bad. I guess maybe she was tired or something."
//He sits and makes excuses for her actions and then tells me he's sorry for delivering such news about my own mother to me. //
Jinn let his head rest on top of Obi-Wan's.
"I think I have solution to all of this. I will tell you and everyone else in the family in a couple of days when I have completed what I need to finalize the arrangements."
//I know he cares nothing about the Jedi but he has been pumped full the wrong information. If I do decide to take over the temple, I will just have to let him adjust and find out for himself what the Jedi are and that they are nothing like what his mom wrongly presented them as.//
A sleepy little voice came from Jinn's arms.
"I would like if it nobody got mad at anybody. It would seem like a real home that way."
That made Jinn think again. Would the child think of the temple as home? He, himself had learned too. Obi would be one of only a handful of apprentices who were lucky enough to stay with their parents for they were Jedi as well.
Qui-Gon looked down one more time to his sleeping little Obi-Wan in his lap. The big master leaned his head back in his most comfortable chair and fell asleep with his son still nestled safely in his lap.
##########Two days later###########
Snow had been coming down all day. Qui-Gon was not sure if his mother would even be able to get out of the drive to pick the kids up and he didn't want them to ride the public school transport out on the country roads in this weather. Jinn was concerned for both boys. His mother on the other hand was worried only about Damien.
She suspected Obi had said something to Qui-Gon about that night she hit him. Qui-Gon had not mentioned it but there was something stood between her and her son that was not there before and she knew without a doubt it had to do with the brat as she liked to call him when Qui-Gon was not there.
Myra pulled up in front of the school and Damien immediately got in the car.
Just three hover cars back, Jinn sat and at first he did not see his mother. He did however see Obi-Wan go to the hover car and then saw his mother. He watched with great interest when Obi-Wan started to get in, he stopped.
//Get in the car little one. It is too bad out here to be standing in the cold. ''
Jinn watched in unbelievable shock as his mother's car pulled away from the curb and left Obi-Wan standing in the blizzard.
Jinn was so dumbfounded he had to sit there a moment to collect his thoughts. Surely he had not seen what he thought he had. Did his mother leave a tiny little eight-year old out in a blizzard to find his way home? Jinn had seen the transport for Obi's route pull away as he drove up.
When he first looked back up, he did not see Obi-Wan. He waited for the others in front of him to pick up their children and then he pulled up to the front of the school.
Qui-Gon thought possibly Obi-Wan had gone back into school to tell them he didn't have a way home. But as the snow eased for a minute Jinn could see him up ahead, dredging his little self through the snow that easily came up to the boy's thighs. He had to be soaked through and through thought Qui-Gon as he slowly came up on the boy. Once he was a few feet ahead of Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon stopped, leaned over, and opened the door for Obi. When Obi-Wan started to pass Jinn called to him.
"Need a lift?"
A very dejected and freezing little one got in the car and shut the door. He never uttered a word. He tried valiantly to keep his face turned to the window as if looking at the snow, but Jinn knew through their bond, that was not what he was doing. Obi-Wan sat there on the way home as tears slid down his face.
Jinn would let his eyes slide sideways so he could observe Obi-Wan without turning his head. Obi-Wan would quickly wipe the tears from his face as the flowed more freely with each passing mile they traveled. He hoped his dad would not see him be less than a big boy.
By the time they got home Jinn still did not have his anger under control and when they entered the house, everyone there would have assumed he was angry with Obi, the way he barked out an order for him to go to his room.
"Get to your room child and don't come out until I tell you."
Even little Obi thought his dad was angry with him. He just wasn't sure why. He burst into tears but let no one see them as he ran to his room.
"What did he do this time Qui-Gon? See I told you he was trouble."
"Don't ask me what he did mother. I think I should ask you that question, what did you do to him? I want an answer to why my son was left standing in front of the school in a snow storm while you saw that only Damien got home safely…………………."
PEACE ewen
That evening over last- meal there was much discussion about packing up and going to Norden, where the little Jedi temple just on the outskirts of the equally small city was located .
Obi-Wan had not offered his input of the idea for nothing was asked of him. In fact it had grown quite quickly since the confrontation of he and his grandmother that the child feared to speak because he feared retribution for just being there; for just being Qui-Gon's son.
It did not take much to realize the woman held some kind of unnatural hatred for him just because he was the son of Qui-Gon. Obi couldn't figure it out for in his eight-year old mind he thought he should be just like Damien. After all he was a grandson.
After last meal Qui-Gon headed for his office to do some paper work. He had seen the little coat that his mother had provided Obi-Wan. He was grateful but he wished she had picked the child up some gloves and a hat.
//I suppose I can go to town this weekend and purchase them for him. He hasn't been there yet. Maybe I will take him with Damien and I. //
Qui-Gon had almost let the door click shut to his office when he heard his mother call in an angry-like voice to Obi-Wan. They stood in the hall not three feet from his door. Jinn listened to see what his son had done this time.
"Make sure you hang that coat up. That's probably why you don't have anything now. You weren't taught how to take care of anything.
"O.D. Dhank you for buying it for me."
"Don't thank me. You know it was your fath…. Qui-Gon's idea."
"May I go in his office and dell him goodnight and dhank him for my new coat?"
"No…"
The answer was quick and it even startled Jinn to hear the anger in it.
"My son doesn't need to be bothered by you. You just don't get it child, he does not want you. No matter how hard you push yourself on him you won't ever be accepted. He has a job and obligation to raise Damien. Now go on to bed. Did you finish the cleaning of the dining area and put the dishes in the dish washer like I said?"
"Yes"
Jinn could feel disappointment mixed with the feeling of not being wanted seep from the child. How could he not? Both Jedi father and son that this undeniable link and it seemed to become more prominent with each passing day. Jinn stayed shielded most of the time to keep the child out. He didn't want to feel his pain. But right now, almost anyone could at least see the pain of not being wanted etched in on Obi-Wan's face.
Obi-Wan walked through the darkened hall and Jinn could see through the crack of the door that he held his head down. Once his mother was out of the hall, Jinn called to Obi-Wan who was just about to step into his bedroom room.
"Did you wish to speak to me little one?"
"Oh yes sir.. I mean.. well Dat's alright."
Jinn could tell Obi didn't know how his father knew he wanted to speak to him and fear stopped the boy from telling all the truth.
"Do you want to come in?"
Jinn swung the door open more, for Obi to come in his office.
Obi-Wan took a step and then looked almost guiltily down the hall to where his grandmother had gone.
Obi hesitated again and stood pulling on the hem of his tunic.
"No dhat's alright. I know you are very busy. I just wanted to "Dhank" you for my new coat."
Jinn heard a little lisp to Obi's speech but ignored it.
"Well it is hardly new, but you are welcome. I plan to go to the city this weekend. Maybe you can go with Damien and I and get some gloves and a hat to go with them."
Obi smiled a little before he checked down the hall again. Jinn could tell he was nervous, most probably because he was afraid Jinn's mother would return and catch him talking to his father. Qui-Gon was beginning to suspect that his mother never said or did anything nice for his little one.
"Dhat would be great. Dhank you fath…. I mean sir. I better go study now. Oh and about the coat being not brand new, dhat's O. K.. It is still a great coat to me and I know I will be warmer when I walk to school."
Obi-Wan went into his room.
//A used coat would have never elicited that kind of reaction from Damien. He wouldn't have even thought of wearing something someone else had, let along thank me so graciously as Obi did, to receive it.//
########
Damien had been at the little school with Obi-Wan for only one week and all he did was complain. Of course Myra, Qui-Gon's mother never said anything but side with the boy who in recent weeks had become almost unbearable.
Qui-Gon thought it had a lot to do with his son being there.
Damien liked to make sure of his place in the family.
His actions were akin to the dominant one in a pack of wolves always trying to assert himself as the leader. Damien insisted on being the dominant "wolf" of the "pack". Grandmother went along with his every whim on a daily basis.
Qui-Gon could not help but notice more and more of the burden of the animals' cleaning and feedings was shouldered on the little one.
Obi's father wasn't even sure if Obi-Wan was big enough to carry things like fifty pound feed bags. He did catch the boy huffing and puffing in the middle of the barn as he tried to drag the feed to Raven. As Jinn easily picked up the feed bag he talked with Obi-Wan.
"Has it ever occurred to you to use the force to help with this?"
Jinn had told him not too, he was just curious how Obi-Wan quelled his desire to make things easier for him.
"Only about four or five times a day sir."
"What holds you back. I know I told you not too, but how are you able to resist it?"
"It would be dishonest. I promised you I would not use the force and dhough some days like doday with a big feed bag I am really dempted, but dhen if I did I know I would be in Derrible Drouble."
How if no one saw you?"
"My mom taught me not to lie or be deceitful. It isn't only dhe Jedi Dhat Deach dhose draits you know. Besides I would feel guilty and dell on myself. I don't need any drouble, at least any "more" drouble.
Qui-Gon fed Raven and stood and rubbed the bridge of her nose as she nuzzled into to her owner for needed affection. Not to compare his son to an animal but Jinn realized all living things needed to be wanted and loved. Just as Raven craved his owner's attention, Obi-Wan must do the same, thought his father.
Jinn realized it was time for Obi-Wan to leave for school.
"Better wash up and eat. You have to leave soon."
"I know. Dhanx for helping me sir. I'll go wash up. I don't dhink I have dime to eat dhough. I haven't found dhat dime for a week now. I getting used to it sir."
Obi-Wan left but before he got out the door Jinn called to him.
"Have I ever told you that you could not address me as father or Dad?"
"No sir. I am sorry sir. I will call you whatever you want. It's just dhat.. Well. Gran… I mean your mother said maybe I shouldn't go assuming dhat you wanted to be called father by me."
"Why, am I not your father?"
Obi-Wan looked confused.
"Of course sir… Well I guess its like calling her Grandmother. May I say something sir?"
Jinn nodded his head yes and took a few steps closer to the child. He gently lifted that little cleft chin of Obi-Wan's with his strong rough hands.
"You may say me anything you wish little one."
Words spoken with the kindness that Qui-Gon normally possessed, felt like the warmth of the big fireplace in their living room. Obi-Wan basked in the attention and the kind tranquil way his father spoke to him.
"I don't Dhink your mother ever wants me to refer to you as my father. I don't want to make her dislike me more than I dhink she already does."
Obi-Wan seemed to wait a moment with his breath held in case he got into trouble for voicing his opinion of Qui-Gon's mother's feelings for him..
"I don't think the decision of what you call me is up to my mother. It is up to me and I think you should call me dad or father, something other than "sir". I find calling me "sir" makes me feel older than being called a father."
Obi smiled his broadest smile ever. Every tooth in front showed even down to the one missing space, which for the first time Jinn noticed. Obi-Wan had lost a tooth recently!!!
//That missing front tooth would account for that little lisp I heard in Obi-Wan earlier.//
Jinn smiled about it as any other father would have over a lost tooth. He looked to see Obi-Wan waiting to say something so he turned his attention back to his son.
With a quick little wave and a spoken whisper with the faint little lisp from the missing tooth, Obi said his goodbyes.
"O.D. Dad. See Ya lader"
Qui-Gon had not found the time to go to the city that weekend. He did find Obi-Wan a hat and left it on his bed. Obi smiled when he next saw his father while he headed for his usual place on weekends; to the barn for what seemed like his never ending work on weekends.
The weather had turned very cold and over ten inches of snow had fallen.
Qui-Gon told Damien to shovel the walkway out and a path to the barn. However when he retuned from checking on the livestock, he found Damien in on the computer playing games and Obi-Wan out in the snow with boots that leaked the wet snow and bitter cold in on his feet.
"Damien may I see you a moment?"
Jinn headed for the kitchen to find something very warm to drink. He also panned to make something for his son to warm him up. He told Obi-Wan as he entered the house to put his shovel away and come in out of the bitter cold. Jinn noticed the boy was shaking and his teeth chattered from the bitter cold wind that swept down over the mountains where the snow piled even higher than where they were.
Jinn looked over at the delicious looking muffins on the counter but spoke to his nephew before popping an entire muffin in his mouth.
"Didn't I tell you that the shoveling of the snow was your job?"
"Yes sir you did, but…."
Jinn held his hand up to stop Damien before he had time to object or make an excuse.
"There is no excuse. I don't like lame excuses for not doing what you are told and you know that very well. You disobeyed me and I won't stand for it. Now I think you can go to your room until last-meal. Then if you wish you may come out and give me your explanation for why my instructions were ignored by you."
Damien hung his head in shame. This was the first time his uncle had actually punished him for anything. It was not exactly as hard as the punishment Obi-Wan received but it was no less humiliating. He couldn't wait until his grandmother got home from the market to tell her.
Jinn popped the cranberry muffin in his mouth and headed for the back porch to shovel it and the back walkway. He told his son he would finish up just to get in and warm up.
Obi-Wan came in the front and went immediately to take his boots off and put them in front of the fireplace to dry out before morning. The child learned fast how to survive in this hard and cold climate, especially when the shoes covering your feet lets more snow in than they kept out.
Myra came home in a delightful mood because of the bargains she found that day but her mood turned sour and it aimed its ugly self right at her smallest grandson.
"Have you finished your work Obi-Wan?"
"Yes ma'm. Everything is done."
Obi didn't know if he should mention his dad had helped him shovel. He didn't think it really mattered since it was Qui-Gon who told him to quit and go in out of the bitter cold.
"Where is Damien? When I left he was on the computer."
"I dunno."
For that, Obi-Wan received a quick slap to the back of the head. Myra thought no one was around but she was very wrong. Jinn had just come from the back porch and stood just inside the kitchen unobserved.
Obi and Jinn's mother were in the living and could not see Qui-Gon from where they stood.
"Don't mumble your words child.."
"Yes ma'm."
"I am going to find Damien. I can't believe you have finished the barn chores and the shoveling.."
Myra cast a suspicious glance at the child and Obi felt obligated to tell her his father helped him. That was why he was finished so quickly.
"It is all finished. My dad helped me finish the shoveling so I could come in and dry my feet and get warm."
Another sound smack was delivered but this time to the middle of the boy's back. Then Myra took Obi-Wan by the arm and had intended to shake him but she was interrupted by Qui-Gon when he suddenly appeared at the kitchen door. She wondered where he was when she actually landed the blows to Obi-Wan.
"Oh hi Qui. I was just speaking to Obi-Wan about where Damien is. Have you seen him?"
"Yes mother I sent him to his room for not completing the work I told him to do. He had Obi-Wan do it all."
Jinn remained reserved and fought with every fiber of his body not to reveal the emotions in him that threatened to come out. He didn't want his mother to know he witnessed what just happened. He wanted to see for himself just how far she was willing to go to make his son feel unwanted. He looked down to see his son fighting to hold in tears brought on probably from the humiliation and not the pain for from what Jinn saw, he knew the smacks were not that hard.
"Is there something wrong Obi-Wan?"
Qui-Gon's mother held her breath. She did not want Obi-Wan to tell on her. She took the boy by the arm. But this time is was a gentle grip to get the boy's attention so he would avert his eyes from Qui-Gon to her.
He did so immediately for he thought she was going to hurt him again. Myra stared at Obi almost trying to will him to say not a word about what went on there.
"I asked you a question and I want an answer, son."
Qui-Gon could not help but see the rigidity in his mother's body when he called Obi-Wan, "son". Jinn had become very good at reading body language from the many diplomatic missions he had been on. Sometimes it was not what they said but how they reacted that gave the Jedi master the most information and that proved very true with his mother.
Myra resented Jinn calling this little illegitimate boy his son, though DNA had proven it. It would not have taken blood tests for Qui-Gon to know he was his son. The bond between them was undeniable. Not only was a training bond attempting formation, a very strong father and son bond only known to Jedi was also there.
Jinn was not sure how he felt about them or if he wanted either. However, no matter how he felt he could not abide by letting someone abuse this little cherub-like child before him. For that was how Jinn now viewed the child who struggled desperately to fit in his family. Obi-Wan emitted all things good from a child and Damien seem to grasp anything bad.
Obi-Wan let his big blue eyes wander up to his dad's matching blue ones and stayed fixed on his father's gaze.
"No sir. Everything is alright."
After he answered to Myra's satisfaction she released her grip on Obi-Wan's arm. She thought her secret of the cruelty directed at Obi was intact. Qui-Gon evidently had no knowledge of it she thought, for surely he would have said something had he witnessed it.
Once that was taken care of she stomped off to find Damien. She was not happy about him being sent to his room, but she kept quiet. After all Qui-Gon was the principle guardian to the boy. She felt right now, while he was in that protective father stage, it was not the time to broach her disappointment in Damien being punished.
Myra Jinn left the room.
"Obi I want to see you in my office."
Obi-Wan instantly assumed he was in trouble. He shook his head and followed his father in.
Jinn went behind the great big wooden desk and the comm link interrupted them.
"Oh hi Mace? My decision? I have at least another week. I promise I will let you know in a couple of days. I am certainly being swayed one way especially after what happened today. What am I doing ? Just seeing how far someone would go to make sure another is felt unwanted. No, never mind I will explain later, next time I speak with you. I have Obi in here now and I would rather not go into it."
Jinn looked up to see that the child cowered in fear. Oh he stood in front of the desk but Jinn knew Obi-Wan would have gladly been under the desk than to stand in front of his father right now. His uncertainty of his place in Jinn's life was there for anyone who looked, to see..
Obi-Wan wrung his little hands, dropped them to the side when he saw his father looking at him, and then played with the edge of his tunic.
Jinn listened to Mace continue his ramblings on the comm link and watched as Obi-Wan used his sleeve again to wipe his nose. Qui-Gon pulled a clean hanky from his pocket and he thought he heard Obi mumble a thanx.
"Alright my friend I will comm you in a couple of days. Take care and give Yoda my best."
Qui-Gon hung up the comm link up and looked at his son, who was terrified he had gotten into trouble someway between finishing his work and just coming in.
Jinn stood and leaned over his desk. He placed a large hand under each of Obi's arms and picked him up and over. Obi thought his dad must be the strongest man ever but still he feared him.
Jinn sat the boy down in front of him on the edge of the desk as he eased himself back in his overstuffed leather chair.. He wanted to let Obi-Wan know somehow he was not in trouble. Obi's little bony legs dangled loosely over the desk's edge.
Qui-Gon gently pushed the spiky little head of hair back and tried to send comfort to Obi through their bond. Obi-Wan must have felt it for he relaxed and melted into Jinn's touch and leaned forward toward his dad. Much like Raven had nuzzled into him to be petted more, Obi-Wan leaned forward and let his head bury its self in his father's chest.
Just for a moment Obi-Wan Kenobi reveled in the feeling of being loved and wanted again…………
Jinn let the little one rest against his chest before he pulled him back so he could look into his eyes. He always felt you could tell a lot of things while facing someone eye to eye. Why should a child be any different?
"Where you and your Grandmother having a little argument when I walked in?"
Obi shrugged his shoulders unwilling to outright lie to his father but also unwilling to tell him what happened for fear he would not be believed.
"I s'pose so..well.. maybe... kinda."
"Which is it my imp? Remember I was brought up be the Jedi and was taught always not to lie. I am sure your momma taught you that as well."
Qui-Gon thought he felt Obi-Wan's body tense up just for a second when he mentioned the Jedi. He already knew Obi-Wan's mother had not spoken highly of the Jedi and possibly not of him. He couldn't even fathom what kind of wild tales she had told the child about the Jedi order. That would be another hurdle to jump if they went to the temple, which Jinn was considering strongly of doing.
"I know not to lie sir, I mean dad." You see we kinda… like…. I think maybe your momma was mad at me."
Jinn wanted the child to just tell him the truth, all of it, but he saw he was going to have to pull every syllable from Obi's mouth before he would give up the nasty little truth that Qui-Gon's mother, Myra had hit him not once but twice.
Obi-Wan twisted his little hands together in a fit of nerves. It only took one of Jinn's larger hands to hold both of his son's smaller ones in his. He couldn't help but notice the cuts and scraps from working in the barn. Hands that should have still had the dimpled baby fat on them were thin and pale; veins showed through the paper thin translucent skin and even a couple of calluses formed on the boy's palms.
//This is too hard for him. He is far too young to have calluses forming on those hands.//
"Could you tell me what my motherwas angry with you over?"
"I mumbled?"
"What, excuse me but I think I heard you wrong. You mumbled?"
Obi looked down at the big hand holding his and reversed the order so that he held the big hand of his father's in his two very much smaller ones. He played with Qui-Gon's fingers nervously expecting at any moment for his father to become angry with him.
"Yes sir. She said I mumbled. I guess I didn't "enusceeate" my words right."
"You mean enunciate and I can't believe she would be angry over that. Can you tell me what happened next?"
Obi-Wan waited a moment then nodded his head yes.
"I could but I would rather not. I mean it won't solve any thing.. It over. It's all right now. I don't want to cause any trouble for anyone."
Qui-Gon pulled his hand away and nudged the boy's face up so they could look at each other.
"I would rather you tell me what happened after she became angry over you mumbling your words."
Qui-Gon still was overwhelmed by the idea that his son had been slapped for such a minor infraction.
"Would you make me a promise first?"
"I can't promise if I don't know what I am making the promise for."
"You have to dad or I can't tell you. See it has to be a secret just between you and me. You would have to promise not to tell your momma that I told you anything. Or else I just can't tell you. Sorry!!"
//Reasoning of a child. Obi is worried about causing more trouble when this was clearly my mother's fault. //
"Very well this time I will keep this promise of yours and it will remain a secret between you and I. But let me warn you I can not always make promises like this. Sometimes things you will not want told will have to be addressed?"
"Addressed?" What's that mean?"
"It means sometimes you can't have your way and if I feel we need discuss something with your grandmother, we will have too. Is that understood?"
"Yes, but not this time, right?"
"Right!! Now will you quit stalling and tell me what happened?"
Qui-Gon pulled the little boy into his lap from where he sat on the desk. He was as light as a feather to the big Jedi master.
Obi-wan let himself be engulfed in the big arms of his father. He was glad he didn't have to look at his dad as he told him about Jinn's mother slapping him twice. His little fists twisted and dug into Jinn's tunic as if it actually hurt him to have to tell Qui-Gon such a bad thing about his momma.
He finished the story with a simple two words that broke Jinn's heart.
"I'm sorry."
"What do you have to be sorry for little one?"
"I'm sorry I had to tell you things that your momma did that was bad. I guess maybe she was tired or something."
//He sits and makes excuses for her actions and then tells me he's sorry for delivering such news about my own mother to me. //
Jinn let his head rest on top of Obi-Wan's.
"I think I have solution to all of this. I will tell you and everyone else in the family in a couple of days when I have completed what I need to finalize the arrangements."
//I know he cares nothing about the Jedi but he has been pumped full the wrong information. If I do decide to take over the temple, I will just have to let him adjust and find out for himself what the Jedi are and that they are nothing like what his mom wrongly presented them as.//
A sleepy little voice came from Jinn's arms.
"I would like if it nobody got mad at anybody. It would seem like a real home that way."
That made Jinn think again. Would the child think of the temple as home? He, himself had learned too. Obi would be one of only a handful of apprentices who were lucky enough to stay with their parents for they were Jedi as well.
Qui-Gon looked down one more time to his sleeping little Obi-Wan in his lap. The big master leaned his head back in his most comfortable chair and fell asleep with his son still nestled safely in his lap.
##########Two days later###########
Snow had been coming down all day. Qui-Gon was not sure if his mother would even be able to get out of the drive to pick the kids up and he didn't want them to ride the public school transport out on the country roads in this weather. Jinn was concerned for both boys. His mother on the other hand was worried only about Damien.
She suspected Obi had said something to Qui-Gon about that night she hit him. Qui-Gon had not mentioned it but there was something stood between her and her son that was not there before and she knew without a doubt it had to do with the brat as she liked to call him when Qui-Gon was not there.
Myra pulled up in front of the school and Damien immediately got in the car.
Just three hover cars back, Jinn sat and at first he did not see his mother. He did however see Obi-Wan go to the hover car and then saw his mother. He watched with great interest when Obi-Wan started to get in, he stopped.
//Get in the car little one. It is too bad out here to be standing in the cold. ''
Jinn watched in unbelievable shock as his mother's car pulled away from the curb and left Obi-Wan standing in the blizzard.
Jinn was so dumbfounded he had to sit there a moment to collect his thoughts. Surely he had not seen what he thought he had. Did his mother leave a tiny little eight-year old out in a blizzard to find his way home? Jinn had seen the transport for Obi's route pull away as he drove up.
When he first looked back up, he did not see Obi-Wan. He waited for the others in front of him to pick up their children and then he pulled up to the front of the school.
Qui-Gon thought possibly Obi-Wan had gone back into school to tell them he didn't have a way home. But as the snow eased for a minute Jinn could see him up ahead, dredging his little self through the snow that easily came up to the boy's thighs. He had to be soaked through and through thought Qui-Gon as he slowly came up on the boy. Once he was a few feet ahead of Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon stopped, leaned over, and opened the door for Obi. When Obi-Wan started to pass Jinn called to him.
"Need a lift?"
A very dejected and freezing little one got in the car and shut the door. He never uttered a word. He tried valiantly to keep his face turned to the window as if looking at the snow, but Jinn knew through their bond, that was not what he was doing. Obi-Wan sat there on the way home as tears slid down his face.
Jinn would let his eyes slide sideways so he could observe Obi-Wan without turning his head. Obi-Wan would quickly wipe the tears from his face as the flowed more freely with each passing mile they traveled. He hoped his dad would not see him be less than a big boy.
By the time they got home Jinn still did not have his anger under control and when they entered the house, everyone there would have assumed he was angry with Obi, the way he barked out an order for him to go to his room.
"Get to your room child and don't come out until I tell you."
Even little Obi thought his dad was angry with him. He just wasn't sure why. He burst into tears but let no one see them as he ran to his room.
"What did he do this time Qui-Gon? See I told you he was trouble."
"Don't ask me what he did mother. I think I should ask you that question, what did you do to him? I want an answer to why my son was left standing in front of the school in a snow storm while you saw that only Damien got home safely…………………."
PEACE ewen