Don't object if there are a lot of mistakes. I didn't have time to go over it before I posted it. I have to go out of town for two or three days and wanted you guys to have a post before I left. Just muddle through it and pretend it is perfect. ewen
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This was the first time Qui-Gon found time to actually sit down with his mother and discuss the changes in their life, for changes there had to be, if she expected to stay at the temple. It also would require changes in both Damien and her attitudes if Damien was to remain at the temple school.
"Mother I want to make this very clear. Had you been a Jedi master and made the remarks you did about my son, I could have possibly had you severely censured for it. One would think since Obi-Wan is your grandson that it would bring some kind of kindred ship toward him from you, especially after going through such a life altering experience which almost cost all of my family their lives."
"I don't know what you are asking of me Qui-Gon. You, yourself have no kind of a relationship with your son right now."
"No mother. A great deal of our problem has been your attitude and hostile reactions to the boy. I will admit right now, Obi and I are on less than amicable terms. He refuses to open his side of the training bond and without it he can not further his apprenticeship studies. Also the closing of the training bond has stifled the father son bond we had."
"You don't need to be a Jedi to have a bond with your own son. If you each cared for one another that love wouldn't have to rely on a ridiculous bond to be opened to show that love. Damien and Amos were not Jedi but yet they shared themselves with each other, fully."
His mother was too stubborn right now for Jinn to even attempt to explain how things worked between Jedi; or most importantly between father and son Jedi, so he didn't even attempt it.
"I don't know if Obi is sure I love him and I can't convince him to open our bond to find out otherwise. Master Yoda has recommended we wait it out. Maybe even let Obi-Wan call the shots for now."
Qui-Gon sat and stared at his mother, then turned his focus to his nephew.
"You may be excused Damien. I have something I wish to say to my mother in private."
"Yes Uncle Qui. Am I in trouble now?"
"No, not as long as you accept Obi-Wan for who he is, my son. You don't have to go out of your way to even be nice to him. I just don't want to here of you being cruel to him either. Maybe for now you both shouldn't even try to establish a relationship."
Jinn waited until his nephew closed to the door to confront his mother about her alarming dislike for his son.
"Mother I don't want your venomous attitude directed at my son to be transferred to Damien. Some of it already has."
"He doesn't need me to know he can't tolerate being around the child."
"If he can't, then he will have to transfer him to a common school in the city. Of course you would have to go back home if your interfering with my relationship with Obi is not curtailed."
"You mean to put your poor old mother out in the street?"
"NO, you are welcome to stay at my ranch. I can't quite figure out why you hate the child so , but I am not getting rid of him for anyone. I hope things are resolved between him and I and he will take up his padawan duties. If not, he will still remain at my side as a non-Jedi."
"How could you do that to your brother? Your promised to care for his son."
"And I will Mother. But if this continues I will care for him from afar and not have physical contact with him. I will allow no one to come between Obi-Wan and I."
"You owe your…"
"OH, I know the chant quite well now Mother. I owe it to Amos. He was killed by Sidious because of revenge for me. No I couldn't stop his murder, in that I failed . However mother, I want to bring some words back to you that you spoke when you and Damien had just been released from Sidious. Your exacts words to me were, "You have vindicated your brother's death by saving his son."." You are right, my debt to my dead brother is more than paid. I don't owe the rest of my life to him and I certainly won't give the rest of Obi-Wan's life to a dead man. I will give my attention freely to Damien once the situation with Obi-Wan is straightened out. If you don't want to abide my rules, then I suggest you return home and I will give Damien the same recommendation. If he tries to come between Obi-Wan and I, he will be shipped to a public school. Right now, I am not past relinquishing my custody of him to you, if necessary, to see that my son gets a fair shake in all this. I have let others tell me how to handle him, but no more. If I can even get him to forgive me then I will do nothing to betray his trust again."
Myra seethed in anger and hurt feelings as she launched her own verbal retaliatory attack on her son.
"How could you? You didn't even know this child six months ago and now he has driven a wedge between you and your family. Fine my son. I will do as you ask or else I suppose you are not past throwing me in the streets. However, I doubt you will win the child back. It's been two weeks and to my knowledge he has only spoken to you when it was required of him."
Jinn pinched the bridge of his nose and stayed with his back to his mother. He didn't want her to see the disappointment rake a crossed his face at the mention of the disarray of he and Obi's relationship.
"I know all too well how long it has been. I have had to agonize through every long lonely day that the child has refused to speak to me. I have given him some time to himself and later today, I hope to speak with him and make things clear to him just as I have you."
"Oh, I don't suppose you are going to threaten him with expulsion from your life, like you have Damien and I, if he doesn't do just as you want."
"Mother that is not what I did to you, but if you choose to think of my demands that way, go ahead. I am not sure of how to deal with my son yet. The only thing I am sure is that it's none of your business and the last person I would take parental advice from, is you. You have bred hatred in Damien that can never be uprooted."
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Qui-Gon finished the nasty business with his mother. He had not wanted to sound so harsh but since Obi-Wan had come into his life, bold harsh words was the only way to reach his mother. She had just ignored him before.
Master Jinn planned to discuss these same things with his son later. Right now though, he wanted nothing but the tranquility of solitude. The best place to find that in this weather was the barn.
The worst of the weather had broken and the air warmed from freezing to tolerable. Qui-Gon brought an apple and a couple of bananas for Raven and Danny-Boy, his horses from the ranch.
He was in the barn grooming Raven for about fifteen minutes, when he heard a noise and most importantly felt the wobbly little shields of his son momentarily slip. No, he couldn't actually know what lay in the child's thoughts but he got a feeling of sadness and loneliness. The shields tethered almost going all the way down, long enough for Qui-Gon to feel his son's presence in the barn.
"Come out here please."
The dirt streaked face of Obi-Wan Kenobi peaked around the slats of an empty stall. His normally bright topaz eyes were dulled and reddened from earlier-shed tears. His spiked-styled hair was now plastered down on his head and remnants of straw dotted through it. A much bigger piece of straw was speared through his padawan braid. Obi-Wan used his sleeve again to wipe his runny nose.
Qui-Gon had to smile over that. It had become a signature movement for his imp; his sleeve used as a hanky. No matter how many times Qui-Gon corrected his son, Obi always seemed to find himself without a hanky when he needed one.
"Is there something wrong?
"No, I just came out here to talk to Raven and Danny-Boy."
"Have you been crying?"
Obi-Wan made a swipe of his nose with his sleeve before he answered.
"Maybe, but I'm not now though. I am fine."
"May I ask why the tears?"
"Momma."
The word "Momma" was barely audible. It came from trembling lips that couldn't remain still for the little dimpled chin under it that now quivered with a threatened onslaught of more tears. Obi-Wan had not told his father the entire reason for his tears. He didn't just miss his "Momma", he missed his father too.
"I guess you still miss your Momma some times?"
Obi-Wan only bobbed his little head up and down to signal yes. His voice would not allow him to make a real comment.
Jinn kept his voice low and hopefully as peacefully calm as he could. He looked around and saw a large crate turned upside down. He backed himself to it and sat down. His eyes never left the little one who stood before him.
"Want to come over here?"
Obi-Wan's body swayed back and forth with his head that shook no.
"Why not?"
"I am still mad at you. Don't you 'member that?"
"It's hard to forget. I miss our talks, our midnight raid for snacks shared in my big bed. I miss those sloppy little kisses I got from you. To be truthful, I miss everything about you? Do you miss anything?"
There, a little shake to his head to mean yes.
"Can you tell me what you miss about us?"
"I miss you holding me."
Obi-Wan seemed to get excited with his renewed memories of the good times he and his father had.
"OH!! And I miss the rides I got on your shoulders and our saber practices together."
Obi released the rein on his anger long enough to remember the fun times. The fond memories was like a soothing balm to his mind. It felt good not to suffer so much mental anguish, if only for a moment.
In a very low voice, peppered with sobs Obi-Wan spoke again.
"I guess...ugh... I miss everything...sniff... about you and me."
The little boy's tears gushed out like a water from a broken dam. They were cleansing him of his anger for his father. While maybe he wasn't ready to totally let go of what happened between he and his father, Obi wanted, no, needed the comfort of his father's arms right at that very moment. Everything had just gotten to be too much for him today.
No words were spoken as Qui-Gon held out both arms and waited.
Obi-Wan took a look at his dad and waited as if thinking of something.
The hesitation was not long. It took only seconds for Obi to run straight into the arms of his father and bury himself deep with in the voluptuous folds his father's Jedi robe.
Obi-Wan's sobs subsided, just as quickly as they started. Qui-Gon rested his head on the top of his son's. Within five minutes the exhausted little boy, cradled in his father's lap, fell sound asleep. No conversation passed between them. Words would have interfered with this quiet moment together; father and son.
Jinn sat there for half of an hour, rocking his son, He was content. For now it was enough to "live in the moment" with his imp nestled against him
Qui-Gon showered and brushed his teeth while he thought about the events of the day. He was so pleased with what little headway he and Obi-Wan made, he didn't want to spoil it by delving deeper or hounding the child with questions. He opted instead to wait it out and see which way Obi-Wan wanted to go with this momentary truce between them.
Qui-Gon reentered his bedroom from the fresher to find his son plopped right in the middle of his bed. He didn't want what they shared earlier in the day to end.
A sheepish looking Obi looked up at his dad and mentally searched for plausible explanation of why he was there. He wasn't ready to admit to his father how bad he missed him.
"I thought if it's alright I would sleep in here. I mean if you don't care. The weatherman said it is going to get really cold tonight and my room gets the wind from the west."
Excuse or not, Qui-Gon was glad the boy had found a reason for sharing his room. The afternoon had not nearly been enough time with him. He could never get enough time with his son after the two weeks void of his endearing presence.
"Fine with me as long as you don't "hog" all my covers.
"O.K."
Obi-Wan clasped his hands together, placed them behind his head, and leaned back on the pillows. He did not take his father's condition for staying as a joke. He thought his Jedi father was serious about him taking all the covers. When Qui-Gon was ready to go to bed it took several minutes to get Obi situated on the other side of the bed. He kept scooting that direction only not actually going anywhere.
Once in the bed, Qui-Gon Jinn got settled in his narrow spot and grabbed a trashy novel from the bedstand. He shamefully admitted to himself that reading them was one of his favorite past times. There were no scientific theories or fighting techniques in them, just stories of the lives of others who experienced "real" life turmoils. Although right now, he thought his turmoils were "real" enough..
Qui-Gon felt a little pair of eyes boring down on him. He lowered the book from in front of his face and peered over the top of it. He was met with the inquisitive stare of Obi-Wan Kenobi. He had stretched over to his father's side of the bed to get a better look at the title of Qui-Gon's reading material. Qui turned the book to see if the cover had any pictures or words that the child should not see or read.
Master Jinn layed the book down on his chest.
"What are you doing?"
"Just seein' the name of your book. Is that a Jedi book for masters?"
"No Obi-Wan this is fiction, a type of book I enjoy reading."
"You read for the enjoyment of it?"
"Yes"
"Then there really is a lot I don't know about you, isn't there?"
"What does that mean?"
Obi-Wan's eyes widened to their largest and they now where as clear as the skies above.
"I knew almost everything about my mom, but then again I knew her longer. Can I ask you something?"
"Whatever Obi-Wan."
"Did you want to give me to the sith man?"
Qui-Gon returned his book to the nightstand and rolled over to face his little boy.
"I told you, all you have to do is open the bond and you will know the truth for sure and you won't have to ask me. I never intended to let Darth Sidious take you. On that you can believe."
Jinn could feel a movement in the bed as the child stiffened up at the mention of the bond.
Most perplexing thought the master. Obi-Wan seemed to have been adjusting a padawan's life.
"I don't want your force to tell me if you care about me. I want to feel it from you. Other parents and their kids don't have the force to reinforce or confirm their love for each other."
//Now he sounds like my mother.//
"No, you don't need the force, but it would help if you want to know the absolute truth about us."
"Is it alright if I don't open the bond just yet. I'm not sure I want to open it ever. See….I am not sure I want to be a Jedi."
Something happened the day Sidious held him captive, that made the boy question the Jedi. Something held him back from committing himself to the force as was agreed too by him earlier.
"Yes Obi-Wan, anything is alright. Becoming a Jedi must, in the end, be your decision only. However if you are insistent about not opening the bond, I will have to reschedule your classes. I will also give up our allotted time in the gym for saber classes.
"Why?"
"Because you can't be trained as a Jedi padawan if you do not except the force's calling to do so. Another thing, a training bond is an intricate part of training for a Jedi master and his padawan. We can't reestablish one if you are not willing to open up your side of it. Do you understand?"
"Yes, the Jedi are punishing me because I need time to think through some things."
Jinn smiled to himself. //How much thought on the matter does an eight-year old have.//
Most children, Damien included, would have jumped at the opportunity to become a Jedi.
"No Obi-Wan it isn't meant to be a punishment."
Qui-Gon was surprised by the boy's assessment of the Jedi; that they would punish him because he didn't want to be a Jedi.
"You see Obi, in order for a Jedi master and apprentice to work efficiently, safely and with their most potential, a bond is necessary. Like when you and I can mentally link and speak to each other. That could come in handy, maybe lifesaving in some situations."
"Oh so it's not just me and that has to have this bond? All padawans have it?"
Qui-Gon understood more now. The boy hadn't been explained properly about the Jedi. That was clearly his error..
"You thought we have this bond and mental link just because we are father and son?"
"Well… yes... sorta…. I guess."
"Well our bond could be extremely more increased sensitively by our added relationship as father and son, however all master/padawan pairings share a training bond"
"Oh!"
"You know Obi-Wan you have a knack of saying so much in those one word sentences of yours."
"I do?'
Obi-Wan had been sitting half way up and he flopped back down on his pillows in a fit of giggles.
"What would I have to do if I think I may want to remain an apprentice to you but I am not sure yet? You know, maybe I could have time before I open my side of the bond."
Qui-Gon got the feeling Obi thought if the bond was reopened, that it in some way would finalize his decision to become a Jedi or not.
//Obi-Wan must feel he couldn't go back if he did reopen our bond. He must think he would have to remain a Jedi forever. //
"Well I can get the council to wait on the bond, but I would have to have some assurance that you would return to your classes and saber training. You would have to at least make an attempt to understand the Jedi ways."
"I like my saber training. What else?"
"I have been thinking of going away for a few weeks, some kind of mission. Master Yoda is looking into it now. If you were to, on a trial basis of course, agree to go with me officially as my padawan, I could take you."
"You mean you were thinking of leaving me here and take a mission?"
Now the child feelings were hurt again. How could his father say he missed him so much, yet was willing to leave him and for a long time too?
'No Obi-Wan that was not my wish at all. I spoke to Yoda before all this trouble started, then I couldn't say no to the mission, later after this mess. He explained to me that you would not be permitted to go unless you are my apprentice.. Your final decision to become a Jedi and open the bond could be delayed until our return. I don't think you have fully grasped the concept of what a Jedi does or even what the force is. Maybe with this mission I can let you have a "hands on experience" of what Jedi life would be like."
"You are not lying to me to trick me are you? I mean you just aren't saying all this so I will agree to consider staying a Jedi apprentice. That would be… like dishonest"
"Child, I am a Jedi and we do not lie. Besides I would never trick my own son. You can let me know what you decide whenever, as long it is in the next couple of days. I am not sure when Yoda has my mission planned."
Qui-Gon laid back down, put one arm over his eyes, and tried to sleep.
All of the sudden he felt his son pounce directly on his chest.
Qui-Gon let out a startled yell before he realized what the sudden thud to his upper body was.
Obi-Wan got afraid that he might have given his old "Pops" a heart attack, the way it surprised him so badly. He pulled back to make sure his dad was alright, then planted himself right in front of his father.
Qui-Gon looked up to see Obi right up in his face; noses close enough to touch. The topaz blue of Obi's eyes and the blue-hazel ones of his father's met and steadfastly stayed locked.
"What if I said yes right now? Think that would be O.K.?"
" I think that would more than O.K. and then we could get some sleep. I am old man ya know?"
"Oh dad you are not old. What do the other apprentices say about you, you are seasoned? I guess that means well aged!! Although I did kinda get worried about scaring you into heart failure or shock, when I jumped on you."
Qui-Gon laughed out loud.
"Don't worry my son, I am not that old yet, at least I hope not. Let's get some sleep before the night is completely over, instead of just half over as it is now. We will need rest especially with an upcoming mission."
Obi-Wan lay back on his side of the bed.
"Yes sir!! Oh and Goodnight, MASTER.".
The next evening at last-meal Qui-Gon made the announcement that as soon as he received his orders from Master Yoda, at the Temple Coruscant, he would go on a mission.
Myra had not been told of this decision until just now. She was distraught over the fact Qui-Gon didn't consult her first. She would have recommended he not leave his nephew, Damien.
Damien was so angry he could not eat and Bruck seethed equally to Damien. Here he was fourteen and had gone on no real missions, while this little squirt got to go on and with the greatest Jedi of all.
//After that blunder of letting Sidious in on us, he should have been by rights, thrown out of the Jedi. But no his daddy master saw too it he was given even more Jedi duties than we lowly little padawans here. I wish I was at the Coruscant temple. Their padawans go on a lot of missions.//
It was true what Bruck thought. The padawans here were not deemed ready for missions. Not that they were slow, just not as conditioned or disciplined enough yet. While these padawans had not been told, this was their last stop before heading to the Agricorps. They were excellent in saber training and very versed in the Jedi ways. However they did not take orders well and exhibited disloyal tendencies to their masters. A bad sign for any Jedi apprentice.
Bruck made an unspoken vow to himself that Kenobi would be in more trouble than when he let Sidious walk into the temple.
//Yes the little one is going to pay for this and I know just who to get to help me.//
Bruck raised his head from his plate of food and darted a look to Damien. He knew Bruck must have already started thinking of a way to get back at Obi-Wan.
//He's no good at anything, certainly not equal to Bruck. Just because Uncle Qui is his uncle is the only reason they even kept him after that goof up with Sidious. Now my uncle will just have to see how stupid the kid really is.//
##########Later that evening############
The temple Qui-Gon oversaw was so small it really didn't have gardens. It had what one would call a plant room adjoining the pool area. A small fountain set to the back side of the room.
That was where Bruck and Damien congregated after last-meal.
"Well I can see who the favored one in your family is, Damien."
Bruck wanted to evoke anger and jealousy in Damien. Enough to make Damien more than willing to help him with his plan.
"I always was the closest person to Uncle Qui-Gon until Obi came. Now everything has changed. He has even gone so far as to threaten to send Grandmother and I back to the ranch if we do not abide by all his rules. Most of the rules entailed us being civil to Obi-Wan. I suppose we have to treat him with "kid gloves" and do whatever he wants."
"I can see that changes you know. You just have to go along with me."
"To see that Obi-Wan comes a step or two down off his pedestal, I'll help you in way I can. Just not murder or anything truly illegal."
Bruck leaned back on the rock he sat on and threw another pebble in the little fountain.
"Oh, it won't be murder. Just something that even the high and mighty council of Coruscant can't ignore, Master Yoda included. He will be out the door once we have finished with him. Maybe then Master Jinn will see my worth and send me to Coruscant. I know as long as I am here, I'm under some kind of censorship and added scrutiny. No one has to tell me that to know. The Jedi like to keep everything they do a secret. Of course the best part for you, will be your return to your uncle's good graces once again."
"Just what is it you have planned for my little cousin's downfall?"
"I am not sure yet."
"Well you better get thinking. We don't know how long we have until Uncle Qui and his "apprentice" go on their mission."
"I will have thought of something by morning. I can guarantee that once our plot is completed and Obi screws up, at least in his master's eyes. This will be the last mission he goes on. Master Jinn will be so busy waiting for Obi to make another mistake or in some way betray him on the mission, that it will become difficult to even complete it. Maybe too difficult. He will think twice about wanting the brat as his apprentice. I may not get to be Master Jinn's apprentice but I will see to it that Obi-Wan fails at his attempt at apprenticeship to him."
#######In the kitchen of the temple.########
Qui-Gon had gone in to get a cup of tea and found his mother there going over the food supply list. She was in charge of replenishing was needed in the kitchen.
"Mother I really would have rather have spoken to you first about this mission."
Jinn in some way felt sympathy for his mother and her jealous ways.
"Of course you wanted to consult or tell me first however you didn't. I understand, my input in Damien's life is not important any more."
Qui-Gon could feel her sympathy routine had kicked in.
"Mother it seemed to be the right time to announce it during last-meal with everyone already assembled."
"How long have you been plotting this behind my back? Didn't you stop to think you owed it to Damien to at least tell him first even if you didn't have the courtesy to tell me. Damien is no longer important to you."
"Mother stop it. This getting us no where. Of course I care for Damien. I care very much what happens to him. That is why I am here to see he gets a proper education."
"Jedi don't lie to people Qui-Gon. I suppose that means you shouldn't lie to yourself to the extreme that you believe your own lies."
Just what is that suppose to mean Mother?"
"I mean I don't believe you came here for Damien's benefit of a better education. I think once Obi-Wan came and you found out he was force sensitive, you were determined to get him trained. This was your way of appeasing Damien and I. You only said you came here for the best interest of your nephew. I think the only reason we came here was for the best of your son. A son you have known a few months over your real family Damien and I."
"I can see this conversation is going no where Mother. I have to get back to my office and ready some paper work. Master Riddon will oversee the temple while I am away. Any questions or problems you might have in my absence may be directed to him. Now if you will excuse me…..."
Qui-Gon had to turn sideways to get past his mother. She didn't want to step out of her son's path to let him go. She knew she would not have another chance to plead with Qui-Gon not to leave his nephew.
"Well hope this is not a dangerous mission my son. I truly do. The one you take with you can't be trusted to do anything right and the sooner you realize that the sooner we can become a family again."
"Obi-Wan will betray you just as his mother betrayed you. I know that must have been the reason you were hesitant to bond with him in the beginning. You thought him capable of the treachery his mother had in her. Have you not even once questioned the accuracy of the DNA testing? Let me ask you this Qui-Gon. What if she was conniving enough to have doctored the results of the blood tests of her own son? She did it many of times before, for others. It cost the Jedi hundreds upon hundreds of potential padawans.. Your ex-lover was indeed clever with the deceitful usage of a computer. I'll grant her that. REMEMBER? Are you positive, that even after her death she hasn't been successful in circumventing the truth of Obi-Wan Kenobi's parentage?"
The seed planted by a vindictive jealous woman, would grow as speedily as a weed to overtake every crevice and corner of Master Qui-Gon Jinn's mind.
.PEACE ewen
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This was the first time Qui-Gon found time to actually sit down with his mother and discuss the changes in their life, for changes there had to be, if she expected to stay at the temple. It also would require changes in both Damien and her attitudes if Damien was to remain at the temple school.
"Mother I want to make this very clear. Had you been a Jedi master and made the remarks you did about my son, I could have possibly had you severely censured for it. One would think since Obi-Wan is your grandson that it would bring some kind of kindred ship toward him from you, especially after going through such a life altering experience which almost cost all of my family their lives."
"I don't know what you are asking of me Qui-Gon. You, yourself have no kind of a relationship with your son right now."
"No mother. A great deal of our problem has been your attitude and hostile reactions to the boy. I will admit right now, Obi and I are on less than amicable terms. He refuses to open his side of the training bond and without it he can not further his apprenticeship studies. Also the closing of the training bond has stifled the father son bond we had."
"You don't need to be a Jedi to have a bond with your own son. If you each cared for one another that love wouldn't have to rely on a ridiculous bond to be opened to show that love. Damien and Amos were not Jedi but yet they shared themselves with each other, fully."
His mother was too stubborn right now for Jinn to even attempt to explain how things worked between Jedi; or most importantly between father and son Jedi, so he didn't even attempt it.
"I don't know if Obi is sure I love him and I can't convince him to open our bond to find out otherwise. Master Yoda has recommended we wait it out. Maybe even let Obi-Wan call the shots for now."
Qui-Gon sat and stared at his mother, then turned his focus to his nephew.
"You may be excused Damien. I have something I wish to say to my mother in private."
"Yes Uncle Qui. Am I in trouble now?"
"No, not as long as you accept Obi-Wan for who he is, my son. You don't have to go out of your way to even be nice to him. I just don't want to here of you being cruel to him either. Maybe for now you both shouldn't even try to establish a relationship."
Jinn waited until his nephew closed to the door to confront his mother about her alarming dislike for his son.
"Mother I don't want your venomous attitude directed at my son to be transferred to Damien. Some of it already has."
"He doesn't need me to know he can't tolerate being around the child."
"If he can't, then he will have to transfer him to a common school in the city. Of course you would have to go back home if your interfering with my relationship with Obi is not curtailed."
"You mean to put your poor old mother out in the street?"
"NO, you are welcome to stay at my ranch. I can't quite figure out why you hate the child so , but I am not getting rid of him for anyone. I hope things are resolved between him and I and he will take up his padawan duties. If not, he will still remain at my side as a non-Jedi."
"How could you do that to your brother? Your promised to care for his son."
"And I will Mother. But if this continues I will care for him from afar and not have physical contact with him. I will allow no one to come between Obi-Wan and I."
"You owe your…"
"OH, I know the chant quite well now Mother. I owe it to Amos. He was killed by Sidious because of revenge for me. No I couldn't stop his murder, in that I failed . However mother, I want to bring some words back to you that you spoke when you and Damien had just been released from Sidious. Your exacts words to me were, "You have vindicated your brother's death by saving his son."." You are right, my debt to my dead brother is more than paid. I don't owe the rest of my life to him and I certainly won't give the rest of Obi-Wan's life to a dead man. I will give my attention freely to Damien once the situation with Obi-Wan is straightened out. If you don't want to abide my rules, then I suggest you return home and I will give Damien the same recommendation. If he tries to come between Obi-Wan and I, he will be shipped to a public school. Right now, I am not past relinquishing my custody of him to you, if necessary, to see that my son gets a fair shake in all this. I have let others tell me how to handle him, but no more. If I can even get him to forgive me then I will do nothing to betray his trust again."
Myra seethed in anger and hurt feelings as she launched her own verbal retaliatory attack on her son.
"How could you? You didn't even know this child six months ago and now he has driven a wedge between you and your family. Fine my son. I will do as you ask or else I suppose you are not past throwing me in the streets. However, I doubt you will win the child back. It's been two weeks and to my knowledge he has only spoken to you when it was required of him."
Jinn pinched the bridge of his nose and stayed with his back to his mother. He didn't want her to see the disappointment rake a crossed his face at the mention of the disarray of he and Obi's relationship.
"I know all too well how long it has been. I have had to agonize through every long lonely day that the child has refused to speak to me. I have given him some time to himself and later today, I hope to speak with him and make things clear to him just as I have you."
"Oh, I don't suppose you are going to threaten him with expulsion from your life, like you have Damien and I, if he doesn't do just as you want."
"Mother that is not what I did to you, but if you choose to think of my demands that way, go ahead. I am not sure of how to deal with my son yet. The only thing I am sure is that it's none of your business and the last person I would take parental advice from, is you. You have bred hatred in Damien that can never be uprooted."
################
Qui-Gon finished the nasty business with his mother. He had not wanted to sound so harsh but since Obi-Wan had come into his life, bold harsh words was the only way to reach his mother. She had just ignored him before.
Master Jinn planned to discuss these same things with his son later. Right now though, he wanted nothing but the tranquility of solitude. The best place to find that in this weather was the barn.
The worst of the weather had broken and the air warmed from freezing to tolerable. Qui-Gon brought an apple and a couple of bananas for Raven and Danny-Boy, his horses from the ranch.
He was in the barn grooming Raven for about fifteen minutes, when he heard a noise and most importantly felt the wobbly little shields of his son momentarily slip. No, he couldn't actually know what lay in the child's thoughts but he got a feeling of sadness and loneliness. The shields tethered almost going all the way down, long enough for Qui-Gon to feel his son's presence in the barn.
"Come out here please."
The dirt streaked face of Obi-Wan Kenobi peaked around the slats of an empty stall. His normally bright topaz eyes were dulled and reddened from earlier-shed tears. His spiked-styled hair was now plastered down on his head and remnants of straw dotted through it. A much bigger piece of straw was speared through his padawan braid. Obi-Wan used his sleeve again to wipe his runny nose.
Qui-Gon had to smile over that. It had become a signature movement for his imp; his sleeve used as a hanky. No matter how many times Qui-Gon corrected his son, Obi always seemed to find himself without a hanky when he needed one.
"Is there something wrong?
"No, I just came out here to talk to Raven and Danny-Boy."
"Have you been crying?"
Obi-Wan made a swipe of his nose with his sleeve before he answered.
"Maybe, but I'm not now though. I am fine."
"May I ask why the tears?"
"Momma."
The word "Momma" was barely audible. It came from trembling lips that couldn't remain still for the little dimpled chin under it that now quivered with a threatened onslaught of more tears. Obi-Wan had not told his father the entire reason for his tears. He didn't just miss his "Momma", he missed his father too.
"I guess you still miss your Momma some times?"
Obi-Wan only bobbed his little head up and down to signal yes. His voice would not allow him to make a real comment.
Jinn kept his voice low and hopefully as peacefully calm as he could. He looked around and saw a large crate turned upside down. He backed himself to it and sat down. His eyes never left the little one who stood before him.
"Want to come over here?"
Obi-Wan's body swayed back and forth with his head that shook no.
"Why not?"
"I am still mad at you. Don't you 'member that?"
"It's hard to forget. I miss our talks, our midnight raid for snacks shared in my big bed. I miss those sloppy little kisses I got from you. To be truthful, I miss everything about you? Do you miss anything?"
There, a little shake to his head to mean yes.
"Can you tell me what you miss about us?"
"I miss you holding me."
Obi-Wan seemed to get excited with his renewed memories of the good times he and his father had.
"OH!! And I miss the rides I got on your shoulders and our saber practices together."
Obi released the rein on his anger long enough to remember the fun times. The fond memories was like a soothing balm to his mind. It felt good not to suffer so much mental anguish, if only for a moment.
In a very low voice, peppered with sobs Obi-Wan spoke again.
"I guess...ugh... I miss everything...sniff... about you and me."
The little boy's tears gushed out like a water from a broken dam. They were cleansing him of his anger for his father. While maybe he wasn't ready to totally let go of what happened between he and his father, Obi wanted, no, needed the comfort of his father's arms right at that very moment. Everything had just gotten to be too much for him today.
No words were spoken as Qui-Gon held out both arms and waited.
Obi-Wan took a look at his dad and waited as if thinking of something.
The hesitation was not long. It took only seconds for Obi to run straight into the arms of his father and bury himself deep with in the voluptuous folds his father's Jedi robe.
Obi-Wan's sobs subsided, just as quickly as they started. Qui-Gon rested his head on the top of his son's. Within five minutes the exhausted little boy, cradled in his father's lap, fell sound asleep. No conversation passed between them. Words would have interfered with this quiet moment together; father and son.
Jinn sat there for half of an hour, rocking his son, He was content. For now it was enough to "live in the moment" with his imp nestled against him
Qui-Gon showered and brushed his teeth while he thought about the events of the day. He was so pleased with what little headway he and Obi-Wan made, he didn't want to spoil it by delving deeper or hounding the child with questions. He opted instead to wait it out and see which way Obi-Wan wanted to go with this momentary truce between them.
Qui-Gon reentered his bedroom from the fresher to find his son plopped right in the middle of his bed. He didn't want what they shared earlier in the day to end.
A sheepish looking Obi looked up at his dad and mentally searched for plausible explanation of why he was there. He wasn't ready to admit to his father how bad he missed him.
"I thought if it's alright I would sleep in here. I mean if you don't care. The weatherman said it is going to get really cold tonight and my room gets the wind from the west."
Excuse or not, Qui-Gon was glad the boy had found a reason for sharing his room. The afternoon had not nearly been enough time with him. He could never get enough time with his son after the two weeks void of his endearing presence.
"Fine with me as long as you don't "hog" all my covers.
"O.K."
Obi-Wan clasped his hands together, placed them behind his head, and leaned back on the pillows. He did not take his father's condition for staying as a joke. He thought his Jedi father was serious about him taking all the covers. When Qui-Gon was ready to go to bed it took several minutes to get Obi situated on the other side of the bed. He kept scooting that direction only not actually going anywhere.
Once in the bed, Qui-Gon Jinn got settled in his narrow spot and grabbed a trashy novel from the bedstand. He shamefully admitted to himself that reading them was one of his favorite past times. There were no scientific theories or fighting techniques in them, just stories of the lives of others who experienced "real" life turmoils. Although right now, he thought his turmoils were "real" enough..
Qui-Gon felt a little pair of eyes boring down on him. He lowered the book from in front of his face and peered over the top of it. He was met with the inquisitive stare of Obi-Wan Kenobi. He had stretched over to his father's side of the bed to get a better look at the title of Qui-Gon's reading material. Qui turned the book to see if the cover had any pictures or words that the child should not see or read.
Master Jinn layed the book down on his chest.
"What are you doing?"
"Just seein' the name of your book. Is that a Jedi book for masters?"
"No Obi-Wan this is fiction, a type of book I enjoy reading."
"You read for the enjoyment of it?"
"Yes"
"Then there really is a lot I don't know about you, isn't there?"
"What does that mean?"
Obi-Wan's eyes widened to their largest and they now where as clear as the skies above.
"I knew almost everything about my mom, but then again I knew her longer. Can I ask you something?"
"Whatever Obi-Wan."
"Did you want to give me to the sith man?"
Qui-Gon returned his book to the nightstand and rolled over to face his little boy.
"I told you, all you have to do is open the bond and you will know the truth for sure and you won't have to ask me. I never intended to let Darth Sidious take you. On that you can believe."
Jinn could feel a movement in the bed as the child stiffened up at the mention of the bond.
Most perplexing thought the master. Obi-Wan seemed to have been adjusting a padawan's life.
"I don't want your force to tell me if you care about me. I want to feel it from you. Other parents and their kids don't have the force to reinforce or confirm their love for each other."
//Now he sounds like my mother.//
"No, you don't need the force, but it would help if you want to know the absolute truth about us."
"Is it alright if I don't open the bond just yet. I'm not sure I want to open it ever. See….I am not sure I want to be a Jedi."
Something happened the day Sidious held him captive, that made the boy question the Jedi. Something held him back from committing himself to the force as was agreed too by him earlier.
"Yes Obi-Wan, anything is alright. Becoming a Jedi must, in the end, be your decision only. However if you are insistent about not opening the bond, I will have to reschedule your classes. I will also give up our allotted time in the gym for saber classes.
"Why?"
"Because you can't be trained as a Jedi padawan if you do not except the force's calling to do so. Another thing, a training bond is an intricate part of training for a Jedi master and his padawan. We can't reestablish one if you are not willing to open up your side of it. Do you understand?"
"Yes, the Jedi are punishing me because I need time to think through some things."
Jinn smiled to himself. //How much thought on the matter does an eight-year old have.//
Most children, Damien included, would have jumped at the opportunity to become a Jedi.
"No Obi-Wan it isn't meant to be a punishment."
Qui-Gon was surprised by the boy's assessment of the Jedi; that they would punish him because he didn't want to be a Jedi.
"You see Obi, in order for a Jedi master and apprentice to work efficiently, safely and with their most potential, a bond is necessary. Like when you and I can mentally link and speak to each other. That could come in handy, maybe lifesaving in some situations."
"Oh so it's not just me and that has to have this bond? All padawans have it?"
Qui-Gon understood more now. The boy hadn't been explained properly about the Jedi. That was clearly his error..
"You thought we have this bond and mental link just because we are father and son?"
"Well… yes... sorta…. I guess."
"Well our bond could be extremely more increased sensitively by our added relationship as father and son, however all master/padawan pairings share a training bond"
"Oh!"
"You know Obi-Wan you have a knack of saying so much in those one word sentences of yours."
"I do?'
Obi-Wan had been sitting half way up and he flopped back down on his pillows in a fit of giggles.
"What would I have to do if I think I may want to remain an apprentice to you but I am not sure yet? You know, maybe I could have time before I open my side of the bond."
Qui-Gon got the feeling Obi thought if the bond was reopened, that it in some way would finalize his decision to become a Jedi or not.
//Obi-Wan must feel he couldn't go back if he did reopen our bond. He must think he would have to remain a Jedi forever. //
"Well I can get the council to wait on the bond, but I would have to have some assurance that you would return to your classes and saber training. You would have to at least make an attempt to understand the Jedi ways."
"I like my saber training. What else?"
"I have been thinking of going away for a few weeks, some kind of mission. Master Yoda is looking into it now. If you were to, on a trial basis of course, agree to go with me officially as my padawan, I could take you."
"You mean you were thinking of leaving me here and take a mission?"
Now the child feelings were hurt again. How could his father say he missed him so much, yet was willing to leave him and for a long time too?
'No Obi-Wan that was not my wish at all. I spoke to Yoda before all this trouble started, then I couldn't say no to the mission, later after this mess. He explained to me that you would not be permitted to go unless you are my apprentice.. Your final decision to become a Jedi and open the bond could be delayed until our return. I don't think you have fully grasped the concept of what a Jedi does or even what the force is. Maybe with this mission I can let you have a "hands on experience" of what Jedi life would be like."
"You are not lying to me to trick me are you? I mean you just aren't saying all this so I will agree to consider staying a Jedi apprentice. That would be… like dishonest"
"Child, I am a Jedi and we do not lie. Besides I would never trick my own son. You can let me know what you decide whenever, as long it is in the next couple of days. I am not sure when Yoda has my mission planned."
Qui-Gon laid back down, put one arm over his eyes, and tried to sleep.
All of the sudden he felt his son pounce directly on his chest.
Qui-Gon let out a startled yell before he realized what the sudden thud to his upper body was.
Obi-Wan got afraid that he might have given his old "Pops" a heart attack, the way it surprised him so badly. He pulled back to make sure his dad was alright, then planted himself right in front of his father.
Qui-Gon looked up to see Obi right up in his face; noses close enough to touch. The topaz blue of Obi's eyes and the blue-hazel ones of his father's met and steadfastly stayed locked.
"What if I said yes right now? Think that would be O.K.?"
" I think that would more than O.K. and then we could get some sleep. I am old man ya know?"
"Oh dad you are not old. What do the other apprentices say about you, you are seasoned? I guess that means well aged!! Although I did kinda get worried about scaring you into heart failure or shock, when I jumped on you."
Qui-Gon laughed out loud.
"Don't worry my son, I am not that old yet, at least I hope not. Let's get some sleep before the night is completely over, instead of just half over as it is now. We will need rest especially with an upcoming mission."
Obi-Wan lay back on his side of the bed.
"Yes sir!! Oh and Goodnight, MASTER.".
The next evening at last-meal Qui-Gon made the announcement that as soon as he received his orders from Master Yoda, at the Temple Coruscant, he would go on a mission.
Myra had not been told of this decision until just now. She was distraught over the fact Qui-Gon didn't consult her first. She would have recommended he not leave his nephew, Damien.
Damien was so angry he could not eat and Bruck seethed equally to Damien. Here he was fourteen and had gone on no real missions, while this little squirt got to go on and with the greatest Jedi of all.
//After that blunder of letting Sidious in on us, he should have been by rights, thrown out of the Jedi. But no his daddy master saw too it he was given even more Jedi duties than we lowly little padawans here. I wish I was at the Coruscant temple. Their padawans go on a lot of missions.//
It was true what Bruck thought. The padawans here were not deemed ready for missions. Not that they were slow, just not as conditioned or disciplined enough yet. While these padawans had not been told, this was their last stop before heading to the Agricorps. They were excellent in saber training and very versed in the Jedi ways. However they did not take orders well and exhibited disloyal tendencies to their masters. A bad sign for any Jedi apprentice.
Bruck made an unspoken vow to himself that Kenobi would be in more trouble than when he let Sidious walk into the temple.
//Yes the little one is going to pay for this and I know just who to get to help me.//
Bruck raised his head from his plate of food and darted a look to Damien. He knew Bruck must have already started thinking of a way to get back at Obi-Wan.
//He's no good at anything, certainly not equal to Bruck. Just because Uncle Qui is his uncle is the only reason they even kept him after that goof up with Sidious. Now my uncle will just have to see how stupid the kid really is.//
##########Later that evening############
The temple Qui-Gon oversaw was so small it really didn't have gardens. It had what one would call a plant room adjoining the pool area. A small fountain set to the back side of the room.
That was where Bruck and Damien congregated after last-meal.
"Well I can see who the favored one in your family is, Damien."
Bruck wanted to evoke anger and jealousy in Damien. Enough to make Damien more than willing to help him with his plan.
"I always was the closest person to Uncle Qui-Gon until Obi came. Now everything has changed. He has even gone so far as to threaten to send Grandmother and I back to the ranch if we do not abide by all his rules. Most of the rules entailed us being civil to Obi-Wan. I suppose we have to treat him with "kid gloves" and do whatever he wants."
"I can see that changes you know. You just have to go along with me."
"To see that Obi-Wan comes a step or two down off his pedestal, I'll help you in way I can. Just not murder or anything truly illegal."
Bruck leaned back on the rock he sat on and threw another pebble in the little fountain.
"Oh, it won't be murder. Just something that even the high and mighty council of Coruscant can't ignore, Master Yoda included. He will be out the door once we have finished with him. Maybe then Master Jinn will see my worth and send me to Coruscant. I know as long as I am here, I'm under some kind of censorship and added scrutiny. No one has to tell me that to know. The Jedi like to keep everything they do a secret. Of course the best part for you, will be your return to your uncle's good graces once again."
"Just what is it you have planned for my little cousin's downfall?"
"I am not sure yet."
"Well you better get thinking. We don't know how long we have until Uncle Qui and his "apprentice" go on their mission."
"I will have thought of something by morning. I can guarantee that once our plot is completed and Obi screws up, at least in his master's eyes. This will be the last mission he goes on. Master Jinn will be so busy waiting for Obi to make another mistake or in some way betray him on the mission, that it will become difficult to even complete it. Maybe too difficult. He will think twice about wanting the brat as his apprentice. I may not get to be Master Jinn's apprentice but I will see to it that Obi-Wan fails at his attempt at apprenticeship to him."
#######In the kitchen of the temple.########
Qui-Gon had gone in to get a cup of tea and found his mother there going over the food supply list. She was in charge of replenishing was needed in the kitchen.
"Mother I really would have rather have spoken to you first about this mission."
Jinn in some way felt sympathy for his mother and her jealous ways.
"Of course you wanted to consult or tell me first however you didn't. I understand, my input in Damien's life is not important any more."
Qui-Gon could feel her sympathy routine had kicked in.
"Mother it seemed to be the right time to announce it during last-meal with everyone already assembled."
"How long have you been plotting this behind my back? Didn't you stop to think you owed it to Damien to at least tell him first even if you didn't have the courtesy to tell me. Damien is no longer important to you."
"Mother stop it. This getting us no where. Of course I care for Damien. I care very much what happens to him. That is why I am here to see he gets a proper education."
"Jedi don't lie to people Qui-Gon. I suppose that means you shouldn't lie to yourself to the extreme that you believe your own lies."
Just what is that suppose to mean Mother?"
"I mean I don't believe you came here for Damien's benefit of a better education. I think once Obi-Wan came and you found out he was force sensitive, you were determined to get him trained. This was your way of appeasing Damien and I. You only said you came here for the best interest of your nephew. I think the only reason we came here was for the best of your son. A son you have known a few months over your real family Damien and I."
"I can see this conversation is going no where Mother. I have to get back to my office and ready some paper work. Master Riddon will oversee the temple while I am away. Any questions or problems you might have in my absence may be directed to him. Now if you will excuse me…..."
Qui-Gon had to turn sideways to get past his mother. She didn't want to step out of her son's path to let him go. She knew she would not have another chance to plead with Qui-Gon not to leave his nephew.
"Well hope this is not a dangerous mission my son. I truly do. The one you take with you can't be trusted to do anything right and the sooner you realize that the sooner we can become a family again."
"Obi-Wan will betray you just as his mother betrayed you. I know that must have been the reason you were hesitant to bond with him in the beginning. You thought him capable of the treachery his mother had in her. Have you not even once questioned the accuracy of the DNA testing? Let me ask you this Qui-Gon. What if she was conniving enough to have doctored the results of the blood tests of her own son? She did it many of times before, for others. It cost the Jedi hundreds upon hundreds of potential padawans.. Your ex-lover was indeed clever with the deceitful usage of a computer. I'll grant her that. REMEMBER? Are you positive, that even after her death she hasn't been successful in circumventing the truth of Obi-Wan Kenobi's parentage?"
The seed planted by a vindictive jealous woman, would grow as speedily as a weed to overtake every crevice and corner of Master Qui-Gon Jinn's mind.
.PEACE ewen