Title: First Times
Author: FerretGirl
Pairing: Wesley/Gunn
Rating: G
Disclaimer: They boys are not mine, I'm just playing with them.
Thanks to alias_lilacgirl and Lonely Brit for the beta :-)
First Times
The first time I saw him was at the hospital. Angel had asked me and my gang
to keep an eye on him and Cordelia. I gotta say I was kind of impressed. I
mean the guy was in a building that had been blown to a zillion pieces and
survived. And I 've seen the building, not much was left of it and he was
smack dab in the middle of it. For a guy who had just been blown up he didn't
look too bad. A day or so later he even managed to perform a spell to heal
Cordelia. I didn't give him much thought after that, but it turned out, I was
going to learn a lot about Wesley Wyndham-Pryce.
The first time I actually met him was at Cordelia's place. I can't even
remember why I was there. Probably some job I was going to do with Angel.
Funny how I found myself working with the one thing I had sworn to destroy. A
Vampire. And his friends. It was then I found out that needling Cordelia was
fun but, damn, did she have fast come backs. Needling Wesley proved to be more
fun. He'd be all stuttery and bumbling and trying to put up a front. The guy
irritated me. With his politeness and his mannerisms and his overly eager to
please attitude. But what irritated me the most was the way he looked at
Angel. With those puppy dog baby blue eyes of worship. I didn't know then, but
there was a reason it irritated the hell out of me.
The first time I called him English I can't really remember. But I'm sure I
did it just to annoy him. Wesley was so very easily annoyed it was funny in a
painful way. Somehow the name stuck and it became a special name I gave him.
He tried so hard to please everyone, even I could see that. He was brave. A
fool, but a brave fool. Now I'll be the first to admit that I can be a fool
myself sometimes, but at least I knew I was going to be foolish before running
in head first. Wesley was usually the calm one, the voice of reason. But when
he made his mind up to do something, he didn't think about it twice. He just
ran off and did it. Even if his own life was at risk. It was as if he didn't
even notice, didn't care about it. If it were anyone else's life at stake, he
would stop and think about it three, four times before doing anything. His own
life? It was as if it didn't matter to him. That makes me angry, pisses me off.
It was then I was beginning to suspect I felt more for Wesley Wyndham-Pryce
then I was willing to admit to myself.
The first time I saw a totally different side of Wesley Wyndham-Pryce was when
Angel fired us. He took charge. He somehow automatically slipped into the role
of leader. And Cordy and I followed, cause he was good at it. I watched him
grow stronger a lot during that time. It was also during that time my feelings
for him became more intense. I can even pin point the exact moment I admitted
it to myself. The moment I saw him fall down on the cold, hard asphalt, with a
gaping bullet hole in his stomach. He took a bullet for me. I felt fear and
anger go through me I had never felt before. And they were for him. A skinny
assed British guy. Whose ass was not so pansy. He was lying there bleeding, dying...for
me. He survived, again. The survival instinct of this man was unbelievable.
And I guess he was also very lucky. I mean he survived a lot of things. He got
tortured by this slayer chick, got blown up, beat up, and now shot. He was
also very cute when he woke up. He was giggling and talking in that very
English way of his. It was at that moment that I knew I was falling in love
with Wesley.
The first time we did our secret handshake in front of Angel I felt really
smug. I had to stop myself from getting up into Angel's face and growling
"Mine!" Because that's how I saw Wes now, even though Wes didn't
know it yet. I was very relieved to see the puppy worship he had toward the
Vampire no longer existed. That had me worried, cause I'm no fool. I knew Wes
loved Angel. But Angel never took him up on it. It was a few days later Angel
gave me this strange long look. He glanced toward Wesley, who was oblivious as
always and then back again at me. "You take good care of him." That
was all he said. It was a threat and a blessing at the same time. For a moment
I felt lost. So I had the vampire's blessing, now what? Did this mean I had to
go and pursuit Wesley seriously? That was gonna be hard, cause I tried subtle
hints and all. But either English really was oblivious or just very good at
ignoring the obvious. I made up my mind then, I wasn't going to waste any more
time. I, Charles Gunn was going to get Wesley Wyndham-Pryce no matter what. Of
course I should have known something would get in the way.
The first time I saw Wesley's hard side, his tough side, I was shocked. Pylea
had been nothing but a nightmare for all of us. Well apart from the fact that
Angel got to walk in the sun and Cordy got to play a real princess. I bet she
really enjoyed that part. But the part where I saw Wesley coldly plan the
death of almost an entire army chilled me to the bone. He explained to me: if
you try not to get anyone killed, you'll get everyone killed. It was then I
could read in his eyes how hard this all was for him. He was good at hiding
how he really felt, but his eyes always gave him away. And I had become very
good at reading Wes' eyes. I was proud and scared to death the next day when
we attacked the castle. English was at the front, fighting just as hard as the
warriors. I was right at his side. It was then my respect for him grew in
leaps, as did my love.
The first time I saw him looking at Fred that way, I was ready to leap out of
my chair and strangle her. Or Wes. I realized I was jealous, frigging jealous!
I watched them. He was drawing her out of her shell more and more every day.
They had a lot in common. Both intelligent, both bookish, both everything I
wasn't. Damn, I was gonna loose him. It took me many sleepless nights to make
up my mind. I was just gonna go to Wes and ask him straight out if he was in
love with Fred.
The first thing I thing I noticed when I came in that morning was that he was
already there. Or still there, I should say. Seemed Wes was working overtime,
again. Some prophecy no doubt. It looked like he did get some sleep, since he
wasn't looking really tired. He was looking damn fine actually. I stepped
right up to him and waved off his cheery good-morning greeting. "You in
love with Fred?"
The first thing that came to mind was 'shit that sounded so uncool, not the
way I had planned.' He looked at me puzzled and strangely with a little
amusement. He took off his glasses and looked at me more closely. I always
thought Wes without his glasses, very sexy. And the stubble he was sporting
now made me wonder if I could get away with hiding his razor. An exasperated
sigh made me look up again. Fuck! He had asked me something and now he was
giving me that look. The 'I asked you something but I might as well talk to
air, no one takes me seriously anyway' look, the look which made his eyes go
wide with hidden hurt. I always had to stop myself from kissing him when he
looked that way. "What?" I asked trying to sound casual, I failed of
course. Suddenly I noticed his eyes had this amused gleam in them. "I
asked," he started slowly and the amusement now was in his voice, "when
you were going to kiss me?"
The first time I was totally speechless was when he asked me that. He kept
looking at me and leaned forward slowly. I found myself almost drowning in
those blue eyes of his, my heart was in my throat, I wasn't able to move away.
Hell, not that I wanted to anyway. He came closer and suddenly the very thing
I had been dreaming about for so long happened. His lips were on mine. He was
kissing me. I automatically kissed him back, enjoying the soft lips, the taste
of tea and honey. As if it was something we had been doing for years, we were
so made for each other. I kicked myself inside for not doing this way sooner.
Cause the man could kiss. I never been kissed like that before in my life, I
could kiss Wesley for the rest of my life. And then it hit me. I was kissing
Wes and even better, Wes was kissing me.
For the first time in my life I am perfectly happy. Nothing matters. Not Fred,
Not Angel, Not Cordy, Not the good fight, Not my old gang, Not the things that
had stood between us in the past, Nothing at all. And you know why? Cause he
kissed me first. Wesley Wyndham-Pryce is full of surprises and I am looking
forward to finding out many more first times.
- End
© 2003 by FerretGirl