A/N: Thanks to KnowInsight and Rachel Evans for letting me know that there is still interest in this story. I'd love to hear from more of you!
Chapter 11
Time passed quickly, and soon it was time for the Host of the West to depart. Aragorn had arranged a horse for Elewen, who immediately had it unsaddled. She used a saddle when necessary, but she had never cared for them. She rode with Legolas and Gimli in the vanguard. They reached Osgiliath by noon, where reconstruction was in full swing. The men on foot stopped five miles later, but the mounted force pushed on for the Cross Roads that evening.
The Cross Roads itself was a meeting place of four roads in the middle of a ring of trees. To Elewen, it felt as if the very land were listening and watching. It reinforced the sense of anticipation she'd been feeling now for weeks. Even the trees and rocks knew something was afoot, and nothing good. Aragorn had trumpeters announce them on each of the four roads, saying, "The Lords of Gondor have returned and all this land that is theirs they take back."
There at the Cross Roads was a statue that was once a king of old, but its head was broken off and replaced by a carved orc-head. Elewen joined the men in removing the orc-head and replacing the statue's rightful head, crowned in the flowers that had been growing over it. She was grateful that they let her help. Now, on the march to Mordor, they seemed to accept that she was there to help and to fight without trying to protect her as much as they usually did.
They rested that evening, waiting for the rest of the host to arrive. Elewen sat with Legolas and Gimli for a while, but even now, on the march to Mordor itself, she was restless. Soon she got up and walked off, wandering the camp until she found Gandalf standing at the edge of the trees.
"Mithrandir?"
"Eh?" The wizard glanced over at her, startled.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."
"Don't be. I'm glad for an interruption. My thoughts have been dark of late, and a distraction is quite welcome."
"What troubles you? The War in general, or something more specific?"
"Mainly worry over Frodo. I cannot even imagine what he is going through right now. Has anyone told you about him?"
"Yes. Legolas told me what he knew about him, and how the Fellowship came to be, until the four of you came to Rohan."
"I suppose mostly I feel helpless. It was at my urging that Aragorn is leading this army on Mordor, but I feel like Aragorn the first time you sparred with him—a child trying to take on an unassailable foe."
"He was a little cocky then, wasn't he?"
"Yes, he was." Gandalf chuckled. "He was quite good for his size, but I don't know if he realized how much his other teachers had been holding back."
"When I came in and saw him sparring with Elladan, I knew he needed a little humbling."
"I suspect it was even harder because it came at the hands of a woman."
Elewen laughed lightly. "At that age, a humbling at the hands of woman is hard
for a boy, even one who has been raised by Elves."
"He needed it." Gandalf chuckled, and the worry seemed to lift from his face a bit.
"You should have seen me when I learned to fight. Galadriel wanted someone to spar with, so she convinced me to learn. I wasn't very excited about it, but I was willing to try. She must have thought I was an absolute idiot. It took me what seemed like forever to even learn the basics."
"It's a shame you had to learn." The faraway look returned to the wizard's eyes.
"It's over now. I still feel guilty about everything that happened, especially leaving my parents while I was angry with them, but I've learned that I can't dwell on it."
"They told me about the fight you had. They were disappointed, but they aren't angry with you."
"I know. It's for their sake that I've been tempted to return, but I never really fit in, even there. I've always felt a little out of place, even with other Elves."
"Life among Men hasn't satisfied you either."
"No, but I don't know where else I should go. Anyway, I think we agreed now is not the time to make plans," Elewen chided gently, trying to lighten the conversation.
"You are right, of course. I suppose I ought to try to rest. It seems that I can never sleep any more."
"Would you like some herbs to help you sleep?"
"No, but thank you. Perhaps in a few days I will take you up on that offer, but at least for this evening, exhaustion should be sufficient to allow me to sleep, worries or no."
"Goodnight, then." Elewen returned to her bedroll and tried to rest, too.
The next day, Elewen rode with the vanguard to look on the Morgul Vale. The city there was lifeless, but still stank of evil. They broke the bridge to the city and burned the fields at Aragorn's insistence before leaving. If Elewen had not been convinced that her continued presence in Middle Earth had some value, the sight of Mordor would have convinced her. Middle Earth needed all the strong bodies and wills that could be found to fight this evil.
In a way, it was rewarding to feel that she still had purpose, but the realization didn't solve Elewen's loneliness. During the long ride, she wondered to herself why she couldn't be content among the Elves. She'd been happy as a child and even as a youth in Valinor, but about the same time as she'd started thinking about marriage, she'd begun to feel more and more isolated. Elewen had always wanted children, but she couldn't seem to find someone to love, whether among Elves or Men. She'd been telling the truth when she'd told Christa and Elena that she'd never had any real desire to marry. She'd never found anyone she could truly love. Her recent attempt at a relationship with Legolas proved that. Perhaps that was the reason she hadn't returned to Valinor yet. She knew what waited for her there, and she doubted she'd find fulfillment there, but she wasn't finding it in Middle Earth, either.
Elewen also hesitated to return to Valinor after so much had changed. Middle Earth had never been her home, but Valinor did not feel like home either. It would never again be the place she remembered, and returning would pose its own set of challenges. She had never felt close to anyone there, even her family. She had defied her parents and left in anger. Making peace with them would be painful, though it might just allow her to feel she was finally home.
They rode through the second day and into a third when their trail turned north. They were careful to send scouts, both mounted and on foot, ahead and to the sides, especially on the east, where thickets and rocky land lay between them and Mordor. Elewen took turns scouting, both because her Elven senses might give her an edge, and also to feel useful.
The fourth day of the march, the scouts found a force of Orcs and Easterling Men. Well warned, the army fought them easily, the horsemen coming around from the West to ambush the enemy's ambush from behind. Aragorn thought it was a trick to make them underestimate the Enemy's strength. That evening, when the army finally rested, the Nazgûl flew over. Legolas and Elewen could see them, but even the Men could feel their presence.
That evening, Elewen found Gandalf sitting near one of the campfires. "In a way, it is a relief to know that we are already found," she said, sitting down beside him. "We needn't worry about secrecy and deny ourselves the small comfort of a warm fire."
"You scarcely need it. I, on the other hand…" Gandalf held out his hands to the fire.
"Has the journey been hard for you?"
"Even now that I've returned," Gandalf didn't bother to fill in the rest—since he'd fallen in battle with the Balrog, "I still have the aches and pains of an old man, and even though I ride Shadowfax, the days on the trail still take their toll."
"I'm certain they do. Would you excuse me for a moment?"
"Of course." The wizard seemed a little confused at her abrupt departure, but not overly concerned. Elewen slipped off and returned a moment later with her small pack and a bit of hot water from the cooking fires in a metal cup wrapped in a bit of cloth. Sitting down beside him, she pulled out a few herbs from the back and dropped them into the water, then set the cup next to Gandalf.
"Let it brew for a few minutes, then drink it once it's cool enough. It should ease your aches."
"Only you would think to bring such things, Elewen. Thank you."
"You're welcome. It comes from experience." Elewen had learned long ago to have smaller containers such as that cup with her while she was on the trail. Pottery was easily broken, and stone was heavy, but the metal cup was relatively practical. It got hot, so she had to wrap it in a scrap of cloth to handle it, but a waterskin wouldn't work for making medicinal teas.
The two of them sat together in front of the fire for a long time in companionable silence. Eventually, they went their own ways to try to rest.