Okay, sorry about the big time gap since my last post. On with the show.
Daniel, being Daniel had accepted an invitation from Gahni to attend a festival they were holding that evening. Normally she would have loved to experience an offworld party, but this time it meant extending their trip by 24 hours. 24 hours more that she would have to be in Colonel O'Neill's team. The best she could hope for would be that the festival would give her a chance to unwind and relax. As long as the Colonel didn't pick a fight she would be fine.
By 1700hours Jack had resigned himself to the fact that Carter was going to nothing but professional towards him. While it meant no more screaming matches and piercing glares, it also meant that their friendship was well and truly over. He mourned the thought and despair resided in his heart. Seven years they had known each other. They had been through situations that no one could have imagined, aliens and alternate universes, death and resurrection, life and love. He knew he was being maudlin but at the present point in time he didn't really give a damn. A part of him had died as a result of his own carelessness and unwillingness to deal with his emotions. The least he could do was learn from the experience, let himself grieve for what was lost instead of belittling it.
Alone in the dense forest surrounding the village, he wept.
Alone he brooded on the past, remembering with intense longing the beginning of their camaraderie.
Alone he recalled the sharp tongued feminist he'd encountered for the first time in the briefing room. Her brazen attitude a front for the bright, passionate and friendly woman he discovered her to be, her sense of humor a perfect compliment to his own.
Alone, his thoughts slowly became more melancholy, only focussing on the unhappiness, the times where they had bickered, the awkwardness that grew from their ever-building attraction. These days, he reflected, it was rare for a man and a woman to have the kind of friendship they'd once enjoyed. It was a crying shame that their …love…and in direct association their friendship, had both been instigated and encumbered by duty and regulation.
Alone, he died inside.
The colonel had disappeared for some time before the beginning of the festival. The devil on her shoulder insisted that he was with Andarna, while the polite, perfect second-in-command angel reminded her that it was none of her concern. By the time the meal was ready to be served he had returned. He looked ragged and weary - nothing like the man she was used to seeing. Where was the air of command he usually carried, where was the confidence? On closer inspection she noticed that his eyes were flat, even in the glow of the firelight that surrounded them.
The team sat together to eat their meal, but few words were exchanged. Thankfully there was no sign of Maybourne. Teal'c and Daniel finished rather quickly, leaving her alone with O'Neill. In the spirit of professionalism she decided to use this opportunity to tell him about her upcoming request to be reassigned. He took it rather well, accepting her reasoning with regret. They sat in silence for a short time until he spoke again.
"We were good together, you and me," he stated wistfully. "We were good…"
Standing suddenly he nodded as a form of goodbye, and then he was gone.
She'd expected to feel release once he knew. She expected to have a burden removed but the sadness in his voice weighed her down. He was right. They were good together, great even. Was their friendship so tattered that it stood no chance of repair? Had waiting all this time been in vain? In a blinding moment of clarity Sam realised that if all they had wanted was a brief moment of lust, they would have most likely ended up in bed together long before now. It wasn't lust that drew them together, though neither could deny its presence, it wasn't the cause of their problem. Respect and friendship were the building blocks of their relationship. They cared deeply for each other and it was for that reason they seemed to keep hurting one another.
With the colonel gone she felt empty. Before all this mess, she'd only ever felt alone when she was by herself. Now, it was a deep seated loneliness. She'd never understood before, the difference between the two. Even after her mother died, Mark had been there, if not for her father, he had been there for her.
More to come...