Author: Hieiko (spikey@otakumail.com)

Author's Notes: This is my first BtVS fanfic. Why write only now when the show is over (and now AtS is also almost over)? Well, because I was busy READING tons of fanfics while the show was still being aired. I've read probably hundreds of fanfics (mostly Spuffy). I suppose I was too busy reading, to actually set aside the time to write. And while I am truly a Spuffy fan, this fic isn't really Spuffy. I think I felt like writing this because of righteous indignation over Buffy and Angel's shared kiss at the end of "End of Days" (it's been almost a year, you'd think I'd have gotten over that.) Still, I always get that familiar twinge of hurt. (I have issues.) I love Spike, and I like Cordy; I resent how Buffy and Angel took them for granted. That's how this story was born. I guess this is a BtVS/AtS crossover in a way, except that the timeline is after the BtVS finale, veering off somewhere in AtS season 5. This starts out with quite a bit of angst, but I'm a complete sap, so the end is fluffy. Remember, it's All!About!Spike.

Disclaimers: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel the Series, or any of the characters in these shows. I only write about them.

Distribution: If you want this, go ahead. Just email me and tell me where it's at. Thanks.

Spoilers: Set Post - BtVS: Chosen and Post - AtS: Destiny. AU after that.

Pairings: Hints of S/B, A/C, and B/A. Eventually S/C.

Rating: PG-13 for language, violence, and sexual situations. Nothing you won't see on the show.

Feedback: Would love that, pet. Send 'em off to spikey@otakumail.com

Summary: Spike finally goes to see Buffy in Italy, but their reunion does not go as well as he'd hoped. Cordelia Chase wakes up from her coma, and finds out that her friends are now working at Wolfram and Hart. She leaves the City of Angels and starts a new life elsewhere. The blond vampire and the part-demon seer find love once again, in the people they never would have expected.



TURNAROUND
Chapter 1



==================
January 17, 2004
Rome, Italy
==================

"I...I do love you, Spike. Just...not like that. Please understand... I care about you, but..."

He didn't hear the words. Not really, because her face said it all.

He should have known this would happen. He knew her better than she knew herself, after all. But part of him had always held hope, especially as he remembered her telling him those three little words...

*I love you.*

...before he burned up in the Hellmouth. Turns out he had been right, even back then.

*No, you don't. But thanks for saying it.*

That was what he wanted to say, to repeat the words he had uttered while he slowly caught fire. Because as much as it hurt being slowly burned 'til he was ashes, he thought he'd rather go through that again than have her reject him again. Especially now, after everything they'd been through together. But a little voice in the back of his mind whispered that maybe that was the problem. That what they'd been through was already too much. But that thought was squashed easily when she spoke again.

"Spike, please say something. I don't want to hurt you. It's just that, you know how I've always wanted this..."

He did. He knew. Buffy Summers wanted a normal life, and a vampire (even one who had gotten his soul for her) did not fit into that picture. He wanted to growl, and fight, and shake her out of it, tell her she would never be normal because she was not only a Slayer, but THE Slayer. He was also aware that doing so would be useless. She was nothing if not stubborn. And as always, he would be the one to give in.

"I understand, Buffy." The words came before he could even think. He understood it was what she wanted, even if not WHY she wanted it. So he told her what she wanted to hear. Because that was what he did: give her what she wanted. Even if it would break him.

She wanted to touch him. He could practically see the mixed emotions churning within her. She wasn't sure of her next move.

He almost, almost reached for her... he wanted to hold her one last time. But if he did, he wouldn't be able to let her go.

*The day you suss out what you do want, there'll probably be a parade. 76 bloody trombones.*

There wasn't going to be a parade anytime soon. And if it did happen, it wouldn't have anything to do with him. She could never truly let herself love him. So he made the decision for her, and took a step back.

His heart didn't break as he watched her walk away from him for the last time. How could it break, when she had already shattered it long ago and then stomped on the pieces? As he lost sight of her, she took a part of him away. But at least this time, he could pick up what was left, and try to put it back together.

Maybe he'd just do away with love altogether.

Yeah, right. He was, and always will be, love's bitch. And he's man enough to admit it.