Emotionless:  A songfic to Good Charlotte's Emotionless

Hey dad, I'm writing to you

            Squall picked up a pencil, a freshly sharpened pencil, and put it to the paper.

Not to tell you that I still hate you Just to ask you how you feel

            I wonder how he really feels.  Does he care about me?  Does he even remember me?

Are you happy out there in this great wide world?

Do you think about your sons?

Do you miss your little girl?

            I can't believe after eighteen years alone, I've found him.  I've finally found him…

When you lay your head down How do you sleep at night?

            I know I never can…

Do you even wonder if we're alright?

            Elle and I are fine.  We're both fine.

We're alright

We're alright

It's a long, hard road without you by my side

Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?

            Life sure was hell then.

You broke my mother's heart you broke your children for life

            Elle told me Raine was so sad when you left, Laguna.

It's not okay, but we're alright

            We've only gotten stronger in the long run…I don't need you.

            "Why am I writing this letter anyway?  Quistis told me to…"  Squall frowned, throwing the pencil at the wall.

            I want Rinoa.

I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes

            When I was a child growing up I used to admire you…for ruling Esthar, for taking good care of Elle…you were my hero…

But those are just a long, lost memory of mine

I spent so many years leaning how to survive

Now I am writing just to let you know I'm still alive

            I wish I knew you from the start.  I wish you wouldn't have left Ellone, Raine, and I.  I wish I had a family to call my own.  A family that was mine, and mine only.  But…if you would have stayed…then I would have never met Rinoa…and the life I enjoy now never would have been.

The days I spent so cold so hungry were full of hate

I was so angry

            I am still angry.  I want to be with you, yet I don't.  It's a mixed feeling.

The scars run deep inside this tattooed body

There's things I'll take to my grave

            Things of love and of hate…

            Squall spotted Rinoa chatting with Fenaly, a friend of hers.  He sighed and walked away.

But I'm okay I'm okay

It's been a long, hard road without you by my side

Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?

You broke my mother's heart you broke your children for life

It's not okay, but we're alright

            Now Squall was in his dorm room again, writing feverishly.  He closed his blue eyes, thinking about his father, the one he knew since birth  but never really knew.

            We are too different…it can't be possible.

I remember the nights you were a hero in my eyes

But those are just a long lost memory of mine

            Lots of memories I never knew I had…

Now I am writing just to let you know I'm still alive

And sometimes I forgive yeah and this time I'll admit

That I miss you said I miss you

            Squalll sat back, peering at his letter.

It's been a long, hard road without you by my side

Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?

You broke my mother's heart you broke your children for life

It's not okay, but we're alright

I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes

But those were just a long, lost memory of mine

Now I am writing just to let you know I'm still alive

            I can't believe I'm getting so emotional.  I haven't seen Laguna in a year, and here I am pouring my heart out to him.  Is he gonna care in the long run?

And sometimes I forgive yeah and this time I'll admit

That I miss you

            Do I really?

I miss you…hey dad

            Squall pondered over whether to send the letter or not.  As the door opened, he dropped it into the mail bin.

            Rinoa stepped in, smiling.