Hercules vs. The Ghost of Jesse James!
(Contains situations of feudin', fightin', and huge muscles)
Our story begins in the distant past, the Old Time West (So Hercules has to use a six shooter instead of his usual machine gun), and our hero (Hercules) has just been transported through a time gate (see Star Gate fan fiction for details on this).
Hercules: Wow! I've been transported into the Wild West! I must be careful and remember the ways that Socrates taught me, lest I be ousted as a man from the distant future!
So after gaining his bearings, Hercules walks for a an eternity through Death Valley (REALLY treacherous place), but it's really easy for him because he is the son of a god and an alien, which accounts for his great strength and hypnotic suggestion abilities. Hercules then eventually stumbles upon an old westerny type town, which looks really dusty, so much so that a tumbleweed goes past.
Hercules: Boy, all that walking sure makes a hero thirsty, I could really go for a drink!
Then magically, as if Odin (Hercules father) heard him request such a building. A Saloon appears whenst the dust cleared (it stopped being windy and dusty, and is now just really hot). Hercules succumbs to his grand thirst and enters said saloon.
Inside this place, there is the standard riff-raff and tom foolery about, with lots of darts, and richochets and what have yous. Even though Hercules is all huge, the place continues with the rowdyism (it's a real tough town). Hercules strolls up to the barkeep and orders a tall one and then continues in heavenly conversation:
Hercules: Hello, has there been a trouble in the town as of late?! I may be the man for the job.
Barkeep: Well, sir, we have had some trouble with a ghost of JESSE JAMES lately.
At this Hercules turns white, as he remembers from history class that Jesse James was a great western warrior (or land pirate, as they're called in Greek). But even though he is really scared, Hercules swallows some courage (courage potion, from Greek) and boasts forth:
Hercules: Worry not! For even though a ghost is a terrifying apparition, with the howling and terrible claws, I shall thwart the terrible Jesse James! or at least his ghostly apparition.
Barkeep: There's only one condition, to fight a ghost, you must CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR!
At this Hercules gasps (in fear) for he knows that if his hair is to be cut that he will lose all his strength! But since there is no other way to fight a ghost, Hercules agrees to this and goes to a barbershop saloon and gets his hair cut. However, Hercules (using his alien intelligence) knows that he can fool Jesse James into thinking that he may still have the hair for strength (Ghost of Jesse James knows this because ghosts can see into the future), so he dones a sombrero (as was the style at the time, which Hercules knows, cause he read about it).
(After about several more hours, Hercules braves the desolate graveyard in which Jesse James rests).
Jesse James's Ghost: Boo! who are you! And how can you see me if you cut you're hair!?
Hercules: I am Hercules of the future! and I still have my hair and am very strong!
Jesse James's Ghost gasps (in shock and fear) at this, instantly retreating back into his grave forever, never bothering another soul again.
Hercules: Done and done! I am awesome!
And as Hercules wipes the grit and blood from the fight off of his hands, he accidently falls into ANOTHER portal that was opened when Jesse James went back to Heaven.
Hercules: NOT AGAIN!
To be continued in Hercules vs. Leningrad......
(Contains situations of feudin', fightin', and huge muscles)
Our story begins in the distant past, the Old Time West (So Hercules has to use a six shooter instead of his usual machine gun), and our hero (Hercules) has just been transported through a time gate (see Star Gate fan fiction for details on this).
Hercules: Wow! I've been transported into the Wild West! I must be careful and remember the ways that Socrates taught me, lest I be ousted as a man from the distant future!
So after gaining his bearings, Hercules walks for a an eternity through Death Valley (REALLY treacherous place), but it's really easy for him because he is the son of a god and an alien, which accounts for his great strength and hypnotic suggestion abilities. Hercules then eventually stumbles upon an old westerny type town, which looks really dusty, so much so that a tumbleweed goes past.
Hercules: Boy, all that walking sure makes a hero thirsty, I could really go for a drink!
Then magically, as if Odin (Hercules father) heard him request such a building. A Saloon appears whenst the dust cleared (it stopped being windy and dusty, and is now just really hot). Hercules succumbs to his grand thirst and enters said saloon.
Inside this place, there is the standard riff-raff and tom foolery about, with lots of darts, and richochets and what have yous. Even though Hercules is all huge, the place continues with the rowdyism (it's a real tough town). Hercules strolls up to the barkeep and orders a tall one and then continues in heavenly conversation:
Hercules: Hello, has there been a trouble in the town as of late?! I may be the man for the job.
Barkeep: Well, sir, we have had some trouble with a ghost of JESSE JAMES lately.
At this Hercules turns white, as he remembers from history class that Jesse James was a great western warrior (or land pirate, as they're called in Greek). But even though he is really scared, Hercules swallows some courage (courage potion, from Greek) and boasts forth:
Hercules: Worry not! For even though a ghost is a terrifying apparition, with the howling and terrible claws, I shall thwart the terrible Jesse James! or at least his ghostly apparition.
Barkeep: There's only one condition, to fight a ghost, you must CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR!
At this Hercules gasps (in fear) for he knows that if his hair is to be cut that he will lose all his strength! But since there is no other way to fight a ghost, Hercules agrees to this and goes to a barbershop saloon and gets his hair cut. However, Hercules (using his alien intelligence) knows that he can fool Jesse James into thinking that he may still have the hair for strength (Ghost of Jesse James knows this because ghosts can see into the future), so he dones a sombrero (as was the style at the time, which Hercules knows, cause he read about it).
(After about several more hours, Hercules braves the desolate graveyard in which Jesse James rests).
Jesse James's Ghost: Boo! who are you! And how can you see me if you cut you're hair!?
Hercules: I am Hercules of the future! and I still have my hair and am very strong!
Jesse James's Ghost gasps (in shock and fear) at this, instantly retreating back into his grave forever, never bothering another soul again.
Hercules: Done and done! I am awesome!
And as Hercules wipes the grit and blood from the fight off of his hands, he accidently falls into ANOTHER portal that was opened when Jesse James went back to Heaven.
Hercules: NOT AGAIN!
To be continued in Hercules vs. Leningrad......