Happiness wasn't always a mask.
By DreamFeathers
AN+claimers: You know the drill, now owie, no suie. Though I got the inspiration form Angela's cute Chichiri Hotmail pic she was having on. It said "Happiness… wasn't a mask… always."
I'd like to thank my dear friend, Kitsuna-Ri, for being my beta on this, through all the troubles.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Here I am, sitting on a rather large bed, reading a good book resting on the legs that have been thrown on to my own legs. Looking up from my book I look at the brunet about of my age, who has totally lost into reading her latest manga. She glances up from her manga, looking at me questioningly before returning to read with a small smile.
I still remember as it was just yesterday. I was sitting alone under a tree in a grey, rainy day while looking at the river. Days like these always made me depressed and gloomy.
"Pretty boring, ne? Pretty, but boring." a voice suddenly asks from beside me "Don't you get wet?" I look up, surprised that I hadn't sensed the presence any sooner. I see a weird looking brunet leaning to the tree next to me, looking at the river with unfocused eyes.
"Not any wetter than you, no da." I reply, not being in the mood for puzzles.
"*hm*" she hums and looks at me with that small smile of hers. "You got anything special on your calendar for anytime soon?" I could see that she was fighting to say what she wanted to say.
"What do you mean, no da?" I asked cautiously.
"Well, I'm here to offer a deal for you." Her smile widened into open cheerful one.
I'm not quite sure how she did convince me to come with her, I didn't even know her then. I should have figured that everything wasn't quite right with her, but perhaps the rain and the river had dulled my mind.
But when she reached her hand out to help me up, I could feel the bond between us come alive, as though our deal was sealed with our touch. It was stronger bond than the bond between seishies but it was just as soft and gentle. The bond between authoress and her muse…
I followed her to her own reality and soon was in the company of two other muses, as she officially calls us, though it was more like dear friends… Though time went on and she cared all three of us, the two of us have stayed the closest.
I look at her, lost in the memories. I fall to me side, laying next to her and gently pick the manga from her hand to see what she is reading and why it is so interesting. FAKE. No surprise there.
"Neee, Chiri. What do you think? Should we take Dee with us?" she takes the book back, looking at it thoughtfully. I give her a long look, making a face pouting slightly. After a second she bursts out laughing, with me following. That is something new... Now adays I am laughing freely, without my mask. As a matter of fact, I haven't used my mask since she prought me here the first time. I remember the look on her when we came here…
The girl in front of me gives me a long and annoyed look, with her arms crossed over her chest, making me wince inwardly.
"Okay. Let me make one thing clear, ne sweetie…" She steps closer and gently pulls my mask off my face. "Under this roof, or around me, you're not gonna need your mask!"
"But! But!" I stammer in confusion, feeling quite vulnerable without my mask.
"Trust me…" She stands on her tiptoes and pulls me lower to kiss the tip of my nose softly "You really don't need it…"
Now who could argue with that? And so, even when the others came, I haven't needed for my mask. Nobody, minds my scar, or asks how I got it. Slowly I've been smiling and genuinely laughing. The realisation reminds me of a conversation my authoress and I had a little while ago...
It was a rainy day, and we were sitting on the second sofa on the living room, watching as Vash and Tasuki are playing with PS2. She is leaning to my lap, drumming the back of my hand.
"Chichiri?" I raised an eyebrow. She only uses my full name when something was bothering her…
"Haa-ai, no da?" I ask, leaning my chin on top of her head, watching the players in the videogame, dance on the screen.
"How do you do it? How did you keep your mask on all the time and stay cheerful all the time?" she asks, looking up as I looked at her. "Didn't it consume you? Bury the real you under all that acting?" she snuggles for a better position in my arms before continuing "I mean I know that I could have been something else. But once I decided to play an act for being the weird and confusing one to hide who I am. But now I can't stop it anymore. I have become my own act."
What could I say to that? I look around the bed for my mask, not seeing it anywhere. It is probably on the desk, buried somewhere under all the stuff, paper and Suzaku, if even him, knows what. Or was it on the bookshelf? Never mind. I can see the smiling mask on my mind as I close my eyes, leaning my cheek to my palm.
I look at the mask in my mind, turning it on my hand of my mind, feeling its ever soft and round curve, familiar like an old friend. It is true. The old Houjun who I was has all but disappeared under the Chichiri I have become. The wide laughing grin has been replaced with masked one. The cheerful playfulness has disappeared under the forced laughter, which has come more and more automatic.
But there is also a change. The young woman, my authoress, and my new friends I am bonded to has given me something back. Something I had thought that I had lost long ago. My genuine feelings instead of the act from the mask. I'll admit, I am not as straightforward as Tasuki, but I am me. Not the old Houjun. Or the old Chichiri. But something that combines the two and something new. Was this something that was called to growth?
I open my eye, realising that I had dosed off and the brunet had slipped of the bed, leaving her book to near the pillow next to me. I look around the room sleepily. Their voices are coming from the living room.
"No no no. Look it's much better like this." Vash's voice reaches my ears. It seems that they're working on something…
"Ahhh fuck that!! No way in nine hells #%&@* is gonna do that! C'mon get real!!" You didn't need to guess that Tasuki was fuming again.
"*cheeee* I can't see how that could ever work. Honestly red, sometimes I'm wondering which one of us is more insane, you or me??" I could hear the brunet replying.
"Oh yea? Then I could always convince it working!" there was a sound of unsheathing metal, which spoke louder than any words could be said. I sweatdropped and jump out of the bed, skidding to the living room just in time to see Tasuki wielding his tessen.
"TASUKI!!! DON'T YOU DARE TO FLAME MY LAPTOP!!!!!"
Okay, thanks for reading this one shot thingie. ^^;; This is some weeeeird producing
on the middle of the night, from sudden inspiration. *huggs
Chiri and all her muses* Thanks guys ^^
So, give me your opinion of this little thingie, ne? ^~ *gives Chichiri plushies
for all reviewes*