Hey! Well due to the fact that I got some very urgent reviews to update, here it is! There was some confusion in the last chapter, but do not fear! All will be explained in due time. Peace out.
This chapter will be a flashback!
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha!!!
Chapter 6
*~Flashback~*
Their good-bye's had been heart-wrenching. She now had to part with her friends, her companions, forever. She couldn't bare to be there for a moment longer.
They had all stood at the well, gazing at each other. Shippo clutching onto her shirt as she held him, murmering incoherent words, as only a child could.
Sango had tears falling from her eyes, they were also shining in Miroku's. Kagome opened her arm, the one not supporting Shippo, and beckoned them to her.
She wrapped them all in a tight hug, willing the pain and heart-ache away. Wishing Inuyasha was still with her, hugging her like the others.
Her hands were still bandaged. She hadn't been in her right mind, all she had felt at that moment was the need to touch him. The others had found her trying to dig to hell.
She had laughed so hard, it ended in tears.
When they separated Sango tried to give a cheery bubble of laughter.
Don't worry Kagome-chan...we'll be just fine., she sniffed, her face crumpling as a fresh wave of saddness hit her. Kami...we'll all miss you so much! She once again flung herself at Kagome, Shippo jumping to the ground. He understood that this was their moment.
With Sango still sobbing in her arms, Kagome turned to Miroku who was blurry through her own tears. Stroking Sango's hair, she said in a strong, yet wavering voice.
You take care of her, you-- you hear? She ending with placing a kiss on the top of Sango's head and leading her into Miroku's arms. He held her up and gazed to Kagome sadly.
You'll be in our hearts, Kagome-sama.
And you'll live in mine, forever. Miroku turned away, wrapping his arms around Sango and hiding his head in her shoulder, small sobs making his body quiver.
She once again picked up Shippo.
Kagome! Please, d-don't go! I-I-I can come with you! Ye-eah, I can live there...you just have to t-teach me too! Please! He wailed, nuzzling into her neck. This brought such pain to her soul.
Shippo, you know I can't do that...you belong here, with Miroku and Sango. They'll take care of you...I promise. she had whispered solftly, in the mothering tone she had learned to use on the small kit.
She handed him over to the unhappy couple. They pulled him quickly into their arms, as if to sheild him from the pain
Inuyasha always did that for me...now I'll never get the chance to thank him.' If it was possible to cry more, Kagome found a way. She buried her face in her hands and fled to the well, ignoring the cries of protest from her friends.
She didn't look back. Looking back would only make her stop. She jumped in, the eerie light surounding her for what would be the last time.
As they reached the well, a soft echo of good-bye rang clearly up to them.
* * *
And now she was here, sitting in her dark house, the black circles under her eyes evidence to her sleepless torture. It was like her body wanted to paint her misery across her face in big, angry letters.
Her family wasn't home. They hadn't been home for a week. She supposed it was due to the fact that she spent more and more time in the past as the years went by, not coming home much at all. They probably didn't expect her home for another week or so.
They had left a note, incase she did come home early, explaining they had gone to Grandmas', her late father's mother.
Kagome didn't bother to turn the lights on in the house. She liked to sit in the dark. Twirling a piece of hair in between her fingers. It felt like rope, just as stringy and rough. When was the last time she had had a bath? It had been a couple days, hadn't it?
She sighed and lifted herself off the ground, wincing as her knees cracked. She had been sitting on the floor for quite awhile. She passed the mirror, noting that the thin, pale face that peered back was indeed hers.
She looked awful. No, she looked like awful run over and spat on. Her hair was hanging in her face, tangles from not being brushed in days. Her face had drawn out, making the skin looked streched, almost like wax.
Why did people say that eyes held emotion? She wasn't good at reading people's eyes. To her, emotion was in the eyebrows. Without eyebrows, people couldn't really tell what emotion you held. She could tell Inu--his emotions just by his eyes. He hid his feelings and she had to dig around to find them.
Why wouldn't this pain go away? Would it last forever? This strange pressure in her heart, a constant dark cloud on her feelings.
She walked slowly to the bathroom, swaying slightly on her feet. She hadn't eaten for as long as she hadn't taken a bath. She wasn't hungry, she was just never in the mood for food. Her body was starved for it, but she just couldn't bring herself to eat.
Her feet dragged on the floor and she used her arm to brace herself against the wall. The dark bathroom just in front of her.
She continuously tasted sickness on her tongue. She had thrown-up for an hour straight after she had gotten back.
Kagome turned on the water, keeping the lights off. Letting it be just a little bit hotter than she could stand it. She added no bubble bath, no nice smelling oils. Just clean, pure water. In the darkness, she stripped off her old clothing, folding it neatly and placing it on the counter.
All of this was done mechanically. No thought whatsoever put into it. She slipped into the tub, the water burning her skin.
Good,' she thought bitterly Pain will block my thoughts of him, if only for a moment.'
She knew she would have to end her life. And the thought saddened her. It was only a matter of time before she couldn't stand being away from him.
She regreted putting her family through this. She didn't want them to mourn her, she wanted them to be happy for her, that she didn't have to suffer anymore. But they wouldn't understand.
I wouldn't mind seeing them, once last time. Kagome's light whisper was drowned out by the rushing of the water. She sat in the bathtub, knees pulled tightly to her chest.
She knew she couldn't see them. She couldn't put them through being in the same house with her when she killed herself. She knew they loved her very much, but loving isn't the same as being able to survive.
She reached over and turned off the water. It had begun spilling onto the floor.
The last moments she spent with Inuya---him, Kikyo just stood there. She knew, the dead miko had enough heart left to give them that moment. She didn't know if she should be angry at her, or eternally greatful.
Even in the dark she could see the steam rising from the water. Why didn't it burn anymore? She buried her face in her warm knees and cried. She wanted the water to burn! Why wasn't it burning? She let out a howl of agony and slammed her arm with all her might against the tile wall. She repeated the action.
Water was sloshing all over the floor. She twisted around and brought down her wrist on the edge of the bath with a sickening crunch. White hot pain shot up her arm, more than the banging on the wall. She slid under the water, inhaling water. She kicked her right leg up, hitting the faucet.
She screamed, still under the water, using her hands to try and pull herself back up. Pain shot up and down her arm and leg. She sat up, crying out and trying to pull herself out of the tub, gasping for air. Screaming and trying to breathe at the same time was not an easy thing to achieve.
Spots danced in front of her eyes as she dragged herself away from the now red water. Her leg gushing blood all over the floor. She heaved, throwing up the contents of her empty stomach. The acid burned her throat. She curled up and sobbed, trying to breathe again.
She heaved again, this time more painful then the last. Tears leaking out of her eyes, not noticable on her wet, blood covered body. Her chest rising and falling rapidly, she gazed at her arm. She felt like puking again. Her wrist was at an impossible angle, ugly brusies forming rapidly. Biting her lip, she looked at the ceiling and moaned.
No one was around to help her as she lay bleeding and broken on the floor.
* * *
She sat on the kitchen counter, in a big t-shirt and underwear, looking at her now throbbing wrist. It didn't hurt so bad now, but she could tell it was a really bad break. She didn't know how to describe the arm that was once hers. For one thing, it was now so bruised that she could hardly see any of her light skin. It felt as if it had its own heartbeat.
Pulse-
Pain.
Pulse-
Pain.
Pulse-
Pain.
Her leg had a long gash. The bleeding had slowed, but it was still oozing blood. Oh God, she had to do it now. Her family didn't have the money to pay for a hospital bill. Well, all this pain did help to make her forget about Inuyasha...for a while at least. But what sort of life would she have if she just kept hurting herself. That was sick, she couldn't live like that. She had to die, it was the only way to fly.
Nothing messy. She didn't want to make her family clean up after what she was about to put them through. She looked to the pain killers beside her, the white bottle glaring at her from under the fluorescent light. The only light in the house.
She brushed her fingers over the bottle lightly before taking it gently in her good hand. She walked painfully slow up to her room and placed the pills on her pillow. She walked back down to the liquor cabinet, reaching up on her tip toes and grabbing the key from the top, hidden where Souta couldn't get at it.
Unlocking the doors, she looked over the dates of the alcohol. She wanted to take the cheapest. Wine was expensive, you know, and she didn't want to take the good stuff away from her Mother and Grandpa. She grabbed a half-empty bottle of saké with her good arm, as her injured arm hung limply by her side.
She placed the bottle on the ground and locked the cabinet again, carefully placing the key in its rightful place. Walking back up to her room, she placed the saké next to the pills and made a final trip downstairs. She traced her fingers down the walls, gazing sorrowfully at the photographs. She grabbed a cloth from the bathroom and began to clean up the mess she had made, following the trail of blood and wiping it clean. She wrote a quick note to the family and made a painful trek back up the stairs, taking as much time as possible.
She locked the door behind her, being as careful as she could not to get blood on the carpet. She sat gingerly on the bed, looking thbrough her window into the sky. It was a full moon. It didn't know that its beauty gave a whole different light to the world. It didn't know that it's beauty could calm or horrify the entire world. It didn't know that it's beauty was comforting the sad girl gazing out her bedroom window. It just continued shining it's beauty, oblivious to everything it meant, or could mean.
The pills were like rocks, the saké like lava. They burned their way down her throat before stopping in her stomach.
Pill
Glug
Pill
Glug
Pill
Glug
Pill
Glug
It went on like that for a good three minutes. She lay down on her bed, her stomach churning. She wouldn't throw up and undo all her work. Her legs seemed to sink in the bed as her head got heavier. She couldn't lift it. Her eyelids began to droop. Maybe....maybe she would have just a quick nap before she killed herself...just a quick nap.
* * *
200 km's away, Kagome's mother shivered.
Dad? I want to go home tommorow...you know...just to check if Kagome is back yet.
I'm sorry, lots of you requested that I put some of what was happening in the present in this chapter. I tried but that's not how it turned out, so...you have this one. But I PROMISE next chapter will be in the present!
Ja Ne! And thanks for reading!
Paige50- Yes I updated! I updated this chapter faster then the others!
Obsession- YaY! A new reader! Please keep reviewing and telling me what you think! Gomen! Gomen for not putting some of the present in this chapter! It just didn't fit. It will be in next chapter though! Once again, gomen!
whitemiko- YaY! Another new reader! As I said before, keep reading and reviewing!!!! Yeah, going to hell was necessary for this fic! tee hee!
Dragon Pearl1- Sorry I didn't answer the cliffy at the end of the other chapter...I guess I didn't in this chapter either...*rubs back of head nervously*
EdgeOfChaos- Sorry about confusing you! Yeah, she was crazy and trying to dig to hell...heh heh. The flashback was before she went to hell.
diablos42069- Yes, I put in the chapter what Kikyo was doing, that was for you *waves* I'm updating so you -wont- hunt me down and kill me * puts up shield*
Kat14- Yet another new reader! YaY! I'm so flattered! =^___^= I hope you keep reading!
AnYwAyS! I'll update really soon! I was biten by my muse! *trys to shake muse off* I have such a good idea!!! You'll all love it *squeals* I can't WAIT!!! But you'll all have to ^__~
M-ann