Hey ya'll! I've re-written this chapter at least a hundred times so I hope
you like it! Thanks to Adriana 3, Anne198, Danish girl, PrincessBethy,
BanksieBabe99, neetu, crazy4nc128 for reviewing.
Oh and Spikey darling, I missed your review. I always loved reading them so I hope you come back to me soon! LoL!
( ADAM POV) I'd gotten home to the empty apartment not really knowing what I wanted to do. I sat around and tried to watch some TV but nothing could keep my attention. I kept looking around the living room with slight distain. I'd never say anything to anyone but it was one of the worst decorating jobs I'd ever seen. Might have something to do with the fact that my Mom was a wealthy interior decorator but the room it bothered me. No real color scheme no artwork to speak of and the drapes were long past there expiration date. I've always lived in a beautiful house, a nice big one. Never really thought about it, it was just how I lived; looking back I wish I'd been more appreciative.
Thinking of my old house sent a small pain straight through my heart. I got up and grabbed my jacket. I hated sitting still, being left alone to my own thoughts. The more I sat the more I think the worse it is. I walked down the stairs and got into my car turning to some radio station I started to drive.
I knew this drive by heart; I've taken it so often. It's where I go. I should stop, the poor people who live there now must think I'm stalking them. But I can't, hell I can't even explain why.
My old house was still the same. A family of four lived there now. The Dad had an eight to five job, the Mom stayed home with their two small children the boy was probably eight the girl around two or three. They hadn't changed a thing with the yard; they still had the same fountain out front and the big tree with the swing. I'd broken my arm once on that swing, when I four, Jason pushed me off. I smiled at the memories that flashed before me all the Christmases, Thanksgiving, birthday parties, and hawk sleepover. All the happy times, I looked down at my hands when the tears started to come. I started the car up again and headed back to the Apartment. I looked up at the complex and sighed. It was so different; there were no happy memories.. Just me being thrown on this family trying to make it. I got out of the car climbing back up the slightly rickety stairs. I headed back to my room and sat down on the bed. I sat looking around the room finally throwing myself back dejected; this could never fell like home. I stared at the stained dirty ceiling until I fell asleep.
. "Knock, knock." Was the next thing I heard Nick say as sitting down on my bed. I rolled over to face him.
"Hey," I paused to yawn and sit up, "What time is it?"
"Past four," he said sitting down at the foot of my bed. "Where have you been all day? You weren't at practice you didn't come to any of your classes. Again." He stressed the Again part, "What happened?"
"I just didn't feel like being there anymore. I don't know I just wanted to get some sleep."
"What's up with you Adam? I mean this isn't you. You don't cut class, or skip practice. You're barley passing all of you classes. And what's up with the whole treating everyone like crap thing? Is that a new policy I didn't get the memo about?" He asked reclining in my chair.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, where the hell is this coming from I wondered?
"Look, Adam I'm your best friend, were suppose to be able to tell each other the truth right," he paused and Adam nodded not liking where this was going, " Well I need to tell you the truth. You've just been acting like such a jerk. You treat the team like crap, Charlie included. And that stunt you pulled today, the attitude you cock with everyone, on what level was that fair. Maybe you should consider seeing the shrink that Casey and Gordon suggested. It might help. Make you the old fun Adam that I actually liked hanging out with. The one I saw this weekend. Where did he go?"
My best friend had just dropped a ton of bricks on me. Or at least that's what it felt like.
"If you don't want to be here than leave." I said after a few minutes. Maybe this is just some kind of surreal dream.
"No, Adam its so not like that. Maybe that didn't all come out right. Listen I know you've gone through a lot and I understand."
"How could you?" I interrupted him. I was sick of listening to this. "How could you understand? Tell me Nick, how can you get it when you go home every night to you house up on Fifth Avenue to both of you parents. You have no idea what it feels like to be completely alone, to know your not going to see them. That can't take back what you said and what you did and didn't do." I yelled at him, standing up he backed up slightly. "So I'm sorry that I'm not Mr. Cheerleader anymore. But I can't help it. How can I? I have to live with myself for the rest of my life. I have to live with the fact that my Dad and I were fighting when he died. That absolutely nothing can erase what he said to me and I can't take back the thing I said to him." I'd stopped yelling but by know I had totally broke down.
And as embarrassing as it was, it felt so good. I just cried. I'd cried in about all of this before but for some reason this was different. I guess I knew that no one really likes depressing people, party killers. So I pretended to be all right, I guess you can't pretend forever. So I stood there letting all of my screwed emotional life all hang out. Thankfully Nick is the kind of best friend that might not understand all of that but he knew I needed him, or at least someone so he came over and hugged me.
Well that went well, Nick thought to himself holding Adam, that's the last time I listen to Julie.
Oh and Spikey darling, I missed your review. I always loved reading them so I hope you come back to me soon! LoL!
( ADAM POV) I'd gotten home to the empty apartment not really knowing what I wanted to do. I sat around and tried to watch some TV but nothing could keep my attention. I kept looking around the living room with slight distain. I'd never say anything to anyone but it was one of the worst decorating jobs I'd ever seen. Might have something to do with the fact that my Mom was a wealthy interior decorator but the room it bothered me. No real color scheme no artwork to speak of and the drapes were long past there expiration date. I've always lived in a beautiful house, a nice big one. Never really thought about it, it was just how I lived; looking back I wish I'd been more appreciative.
Thinking of my old house sent a small pain straight through my heart. I got up and grabbed my jacket. I hated sitting still, being left alone to my own thoughts. The more I sat the more I think the worse it is. I walked down the stairs and got into my car turning to some radio station I started to drive.
I knew this drive by heart; I've taken it so often. It's where I go. I should stop, the poor people who live there now must think I'm stalking them. But I can't, hell I can't even explain why.
My old house was still the same. A family of four lived there now. The Dad had an eight to five job, the Mom stayed home with their two small children the boy was probably eight the girl around two or three. They hadn't changed a thing with the yard; they still had the same fountain out front and the big tree with the swing. I'd broken my arm once on that swing, when I four, Jason pushed me off. I smiled at the memories that flashed before me all the Christmases, Thanksgiving, birthday parties, and hawk sleepover. All the happy times, I looked down at my hands when the tears started to come. I started the car up again and headed back to the Apartment. I looked up at the complex and sighed. It was so different; there were no happy memories.. Just me being thrown on this family trying to make it. I got out of the car climbing back up the slightly rickety stairs. I headed back to my room and sat down on the bed. I sat looking around the room finally throwing myself back dejected; this could never fell like home. I stared at the stained dirty ceiling until I fell asleep.
. "Knock, knock." Was the next thing I heard Nick say as sitting down on my bed. I rolled over to face him.
"Hey," I paused to yawn and sit up, "What time is it?"
"Past four," he said sitting down at the foot of my bed. "Where have you been all day? You weren't at practice you didn't come to any of your classes. Again." He stressed the Again part, "What happened?"
"I just didn't feel like being there anymore. I don't know I just wanted to get some sleep."
"What's up with you Adam? I mean this isn't you. You don't cut class, or skip practice. You're barley passing all of you classes. And what's up with the whole treating everyone like crap thing? Is that a new policy I didn't get the memo about?" He asked reclining in my chair.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, where the hell is this coming from I wondered?
"Look, Adam I'm your best friend, were suppose to be able to tell each other the truth right," he paused and Adam nodded not liking where this was going, " Well I need to tell you the truth. You've just been acting like such a jerk. You treat the team like crap, Charlie included. And that stunt you pulled today, the attitude you cock with everyone, on what level was that fair. Maybe you should consider seeing the shrink that Casey and Gordon suggested. It might help. Make you the old fun Adam that I actually liked hanging out with. The one I saw this weekend. Where did he go?"
My best friend had just dropped a ton of bricks on me. Or at least that's what it felt like.
"If you don't want to be here than leave." I said after a few minutes. Maybe this is just some kind of surreal dream.
"No, Adam its so not like that. Maybe that didn't all come out right. Listen I know you've gone through a lot and I understand."
"How could you?" I interrupted him. I was sick of listening to this. "How could you understand? Tell me Nick, how can you get it when you go home every night to you house up on Fifth Avenue to both of you parents. You have no idea what it feels like to be completely alone, to know your not going to see them. That can't take back what you said and what you did and didn't do." I yelled at him, standing up he backed up slightly. "So I'm sorry that I'm not Mr. Cheerleader anymore. But I can't help it. How can I? I have to live with myself for the rest of my life. I have to live with the fact that my Dad and I were fighting when he died. That absolutely nothing can erase what he said to me and I can't take back the thing I said to him." I'd stopped yelling but by know I had totally broke down.
And as embarrassing as it was, it felt so good. I just cried. I'd cried in about all of this before but for some reason this was different. I guess I knew that no one really likes depressing people, party killers. So I pretended to be all right, I guess you can't pretend forever. So I stood there letting all of my screwed emotional life all hang out. Thankfully Nick is the kind of best friend that might not understand all of that but he knew I needed him, or at least someone so he came over and hugged me.
Well that went well, Nick thought to himself holding Adam, that's the last time I listen to Julie.