Now I need extra reviews because this is the THRID chapter in one day..
Please tell me what you think I've never written anything like this before!
The next day I woke up on a low note. Everything hurt, what you may ask. Living, breathing, nothing is right and it never would be. Some days I just did, I woke up feeling down. But I forced myself out of bed and dressed. Jason was here, somehow it will get better, I lied to myself. The scary part was I know I was lying. It wasn't getting better. I came down Jesse and Charlie were already sitting in the kitchen talking and eating. Happy hanging out with there best friends, the jerks.
"Good morning." Jason said handing me a glace of apple juice.
"Yeah," I said quietly sitting down picking at my meal. I wasn't very hungry in all actually but Casey worked hard so I always tried to eat something.
"Anyone who's getting a ride I'm leaving." I said grapping my backpack. I looked at Jesse and Charlie who looked at me very confused.
"Are you talking to us?" Charlie looked at me. "Yeah. I mean isn't a little stupid that we leave from the same to go to the same school and you guys roller blade all the way there?"
Nick opened the front door, "I'm here I know I'm late!" He said grabbing my arm I stopped and looked back at the two stooges.
"Well?" I asked annoyed with them. I could be nice, really I can.
"Yeah," Charlie said standing up and grabbing his backpack. I'm not sure weather or not Jesse really wanted to come with us but he didn't argue. We all loaded into my car, which Charlie kept talking about. He'd never been in my car and was quite impressed.
I got to classes still trying to shake my funk. I kept thinking about hockey. Everyone was talking about it. How we were going to kick the Bears asses and I kept thinking of me chocking right in front of everybody, that's how my life was going, that was just what I needed.
I didn't eat lunch I was too nervous I sat in the library just staring at some book. I normally sat in the cafeteria with Nick and his friends, but ever since Hailey became his steady girlfriend he's distracted from his massively bummed best friend. And believe it or not I'm happy for him he deserves to have fun. But still, it's like he doesn't care any more, not that any one dose. I could feel a pain hit me straight in my heart.Dejected I pressed on with me day.
When the final bell rang I was dreading practice. Coach Orion and Gordon had been pretty good at not really mentioning the fact I couldn't play but for all they know I'm really that bad. Coach Orion had never really seen me in the zone. I got into the locker room where the Ducks were sitting and talking about the game.
"Were so going to kick their ass Friday night." Jesse said pulling his jersey on. I got dressed silently. I got out on the ice and coach assigned out scrimmages. In all truthfulness I did a little better today. I skated hard made a couple of shots, but to me it still felt like failure. You would think I'd be use to it by now, sucking at hockey. I mean I'm blowing everything else.
"What are we doing out there ladies?" Orion bellowed when Charlie let another cheap shot get right past him, Julie dived but missed. "I thought we went over this last year, pick up the trash," He kept yelling thought the rest of the lovely practice. Bombay wasn't there and Orion was whipping us into shape.
Halfway through practice I was tired. Tired of everything. Tired of Coach Orion's pushing, tired of the team's glares, tired of trying to fit into something that was never going to happen for me. Happiness was never going to come. They'd never accept me. I skated off the ice walking past Orion I looked at him shaking my head.
"I quit," I kept walking, I could hear different people talking to me, calling after me but I couldn't stop. I couldn't do this anymore. I didn't want to.
I stripped off al my hockey gear trying to hold in my anger. Emotions were surfacing left and right I wanted to break down and cry and kill someone all at the same time. In fact I wanted to kill me. The thought even sent my stomach into a cramp. But the more I thought the more it made since. I walked aimlessly around campus occasionally breaking into a run. That's when it came to me; I headed straight for my car. I ripped my keys out of my pocket.
"Adam there you are," Nick said the three of them were standing around my car. "Where did you go? And why did you quit? What the hell is going on?"
But I didn't want to tell them. They didn't really want to hear it. No one cares. "Just go away and stay out of it." I said opening the car door. I looked at them funny when all three of them sat down in the car. "What the hell do you think your doing?" I spat over at Nick.
"I'm not letting you go somewhere alone. Just drive home well talk about this then."
That Bastard. That presumptuous Bastard, I don't have anything to say to him. I don't have to explain myself. Besides he doesn't give a rip about me. He's sick of hearing about it, everyone is. I started up the car and started to drive. I was going at least ten over the speed limit, then fifteen, twenty. I didn't stop at the red light, and it felt good, liberating, so I didn't even slow down. I saw the car coming right at us, I could feel my heart racing I heard the screech of brakes. Could this be it, my freedom from all the pain?
The next day I woke up on a low note. Everything hurt, what you may ask. Living, breathing, nothing is right and it never would be. Some days I just did, I woke up feeling down. But I forced myself out of bed and dressed. Jason was here, somehow it will get better, I lied to myself. The scary part was I know I was lying. It wasn't getting better. I came down Jesse and Charlie were already sitting in the kitchen talking and eating. Happy hanging out with there best friends, the jerks.
"Good morning." Jason said handing me a glace of apple juice.
"Yeah," I said quietly sitting down picking at my meal. I wasn't very hungry in all actually but Casey worked hard so I always tried to eat something.
"Anyone who's getting a ride I'm leaving." I said grapping my backpack. I looked at Jesse and Charlie who looked at me very confused.
"Are you talking to us?" Charlie looked at me. "Yeah. I mean isn't a little stupid that we leave from the same to go to the same school and you guys roller blade all the way there?"
Nick opened the front door, "I'm here I know I'm late!" He said grabbing my arm I stopped and looked back at the two stooges.
"Well?" I asked annoyed with them. I could be nice, really I can.
"Yeah," Charlie said standing up and grabbing his backpack. I'm not sure weather or not Jesse really wanted to come with us but he didn't argue. We all loaded into my car, which Charlie kept talking about. He'd never been in my car and was quite impressed.
I got to classes still trying to shake my funk. I kept thinking about hockey. Everyone was talking about it. How we were going to kick the Bears asses and I kept thinking of me chocking right in front of everybody, that's how my life was going, that was just what I needed.
I didn't eat lunch I was too nervous I sat in the library just staring at some book. I normally sat in the cafeteria with Nick and his friends, but ever since Hailey became his steady girlfriend he's distracted from his massively bummed best friend. And believe it or not I'm happy for him he deserves to have fun. But still, it's like he doesn't care any more, not that any one dose. I could feel a pain hit me straight in my heart.Dejected I pressed on with me day.
When the final bell rang I was dreading practice. Coach Orion and Gordon had been pretty good at not really mentioning the fact I couldn't play but for all they know I'm really that bad. Coach Orion had never really seen me in the zone. I got into the locker room where the Ducks were sitting and talking about the game.
"Were so going to kick their ass Friday night." Jesse said pulling his jersey on. I got dressed silently. I got out on the ice and coach assigned out scrimmages. In all truthfulness I did a little better today. I skated hard made a couple of shots, but to me it still felt like failure. You would think I'd be use to it by now, sucking at hockey. I mean I'm blowing everything else.
"What are we doing out there ladies?" Orion bellowed when Charlie let another cheap shot get right past him, Julie dived but missed. "I thought we went over this last year, pick up the trash," He kept yelling thought the rest of the lovely practice. Bombay wasn't there and Orion was whipping us into shape.
Halfway through practice I was tired. Tired of everything. Tired of Coach Orion's pushing, tired of the team's glares, tired of trying to fit into something that was never going to happen for me. Happiness was never going to come. They'd never accept me. I skated off the ice walking past Orion I looked at him shaking my head.
"I quit," I kept walking, I could hear different people talking to me, calling after me but I couldn't stop. I couldn't do this anymore. I didn't want to.
I stripped off al my hockey gear trying to hold in my anger. Emotions were surfacing left and right I wanted to break down and cry and kill someone all at the same time. In fact I wanted to kill me. The thought even sent my stomach into a cramp. But the more I thought the more it made since. I walked aimlessly around campus occasionally breaking into a run. That's when it came to me; I headed straight for my car. I ripped my keys out of my pocket.
"Adam there you are," Nick said the three of them were standing around my car. "Where did you go? And why did you quit? What the hell is going on?"
But I didn't want to tell them. They didn't really want to hear it. No one cares. "Just go away and stay out of it." I said opening the car door. I looked at them funny when all three of them sat down in the car. "What the hell do you think your doing?" I spat over at Nick.
"I'm not letting you go somewhere alone. Just drive home well talk about this then."
That Bastard. That presumptuous Bastard, I don't have anything to say to him. I don't have to explain myself. Besides he doesn't give a rip about me. He's sick of hearing about it, everyone is. I started up the car and started to drive. I was going at least ten over the speed limit, then fifteen, twenty. I didn't stop at the red light, and it felt good, liberating, so I didn't even slow down. I saw the car coming right at us, I could feel my heart racing I heard the screech of brakes. Could this be it, my freedom from all the pain?