This chapter was edited for FanFiction.net -- you know, wary of them and all. ^^ It's not a big change -- a couple paragraphs of semi-mindless smut. The unedited version can be found at my site, mediaminer, or here: (sans spaces, of course)
http : // adultfan.nexcess.net / aff / story.php?no=19230&chapter=2
Used Towel
"There you are," Bakura purred seductively, dropping onto the couch beside Ryou and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Ryou sighed and dropped his book over-dramatically, letting it fall to the floor with a light thump. He was pissed off, and he wasn't in the mood to play Bakura's games.
"I was doing laundry," he responded blandly, fighting the temptation to lean into Bakura's touch, against his body. He was supposed to be angry, and angry men didn't cuddle. Nope. Never.
He had to look down to avoid glaring at Yami while he was at it. Actually, he always wanted to glare at Yami, but it had never seemed to do any good. Once Yami smiled at him, and after that Ryou decided to try it on himself and glared in the mirror. That was when he discovered that it was an exercise in futility – he didn't look the least bit threatening.
Yami was curled into an armchair, barely clad in a pair of loose sweatpants. It wasn't often that anyone saw Yami underdressed, but Ryou didn't exactly feel honored.
"Well, we have a question for you," Bakura continued.
"You're smart guys, I'm sure you can figure it out on your own," Ryou intoned sarcastically. Actually, if it didn't involve sex, food, or murder, he'd wonder if they really could figure it out. It wasn't to say that they weren't intelligent – they both seemed much smarter than Ryou – but they didn't spend much time taking care of the modern world; it must have been below them or something. Ryou thought it was an awfully hefty philosophy for a couple guys who by all rights and logic should have been dead. Had it been him, he would have done everything in his power to enjoy his second chance.
"Oh, play nice," Bakura chided. There was a playful lift to his voice, one that only came after sex. Ryou always felt a bit of pride when it was because of him, yet resented it when Yami was responsible. "We just got to thinking: who's the bitch in this relationship?"
Ryou sighed and answered cleverly, "Me."
Bakura's laughter was immediate, uninhibited, but Yami paused and started at Ryou intently. Ryou hated that more than anything; Bakura didn't spare more than contemptuous glares and lusty glances when he looked a person, but Yami had a way of just… looking. Staring like he could learn a man's secrets if he watched long enough. Ryou shifted uncomfortably under the scrutiny, and he wanted to shout just so Yami would stop. In a way, he was scared that Yami would learn his secrets; those were all Ryou really had left to call his own, and he preferred to keep them that way. Finally Yami joined Bakura's laughter, but he was more restrained.
"Not quite what we meant," Bakura chuckled, squeezing Ryou tightly around the shoulders. Ryou hated Bakura's laugh – it always sounded malicious, even after sex, and there was something horrible about being laughed at, especially by Bakura.
"Well, you can figure it out from there," Ryou snapped, sanding roughly. Bakura's arm fell away, but it didn't seem to dampen his mood. Internally Ryou swore. Just once – once! – he would like to move Bakura's emotions when there wasn't sex involved. He'd be content with once, to know that at least Bakura felt. From there, he could easily trick himself into thinking that Bakura hid some feelings for him deep down.
From there, he could handle denial.
"I'm taking a shower."
He made it to the bathroom, to the shower, and turned on the water – cold, colder, ice cold. That was how he liked his showers when he didn't want to think about sex or Bakura, but he really hated it. He hated cold in any form, actually. Sort of ironic that he would love Bakura.
He stripped and stepped under the water, a slight yelp escaping him. He could take such a shower daily and still never get used to it. The streams of water beat down onto his hair, over his neck and down his spine before pooling at his feet and rushing down the drain. Ryou hugged his arms to himself and shivered. He felt like an idiot; he wasn't capable of masochism in any form, even something as pathetically tame as a shower. He couldn't even hurt himself properly. He sighed and hung his head, eyes falling closed. "Damn it," he hissed, fighting the waver of emotion in his voice. It must have been bad karma – he had a Buddhist friend who explained karma to him once in an attempt to cheer him up. It had made sense; the way Ryou saw it, he must have done something really horrible in a past life to be reborn to this – a shivering boy in the shower, no family, no lovers, and friends too far away to provide constant comfort.
"Now, that's much too cold," Bakura said softly, an amused tone to his voice. Immediately the water warmed against Ryou's skin, and he turned back to see that Bakura and gotten into the shower during all of his self-pity, and was fiddling with the knobs. "Surely we could do something better than freezing to death, right, hikari?"
Above all the things Bakura did, Ryou hated being called "hikari." Bakura always said it like it was some sort of insult, as though it implied inferiority, weakness… Whether or not Ryou embodied those qualities was beside the point; he didn't want to be addressed by something that signified such. Of course, the nickname also meant that Bakura wanted to play… It was sort of a double-edged sword, and even as Ryou loathed the name, he felt his breath hitch. Sure enough, Bakura was suddenly flush against his back; one arm wrapped around his waist as Bakura sucked at the delicate flesh of his neck.
Ryou leaned back against him, tilting his head to give Bakura better access. It was the worst and the greatest sensation; Ryou loved sex, loved sex with Bakura as often as possible, but hated his own weak resolve – if he was supposed to be angry, what was he doing, letting Bakura have his way? And, damn it, why was he moaning?
Right: because deep down, he really loved it, and he never could stay mad at Bakura for long.
Wash, dry, dress… Ryou could do anything automatically – his father had always called it a talent. Ryou called it a habit. The less thought he had to invest in menial tasks, the more thought he had on reserve for the things that mattered, like why he never stood up for himself. He had taken on a bully or two in his life, even won – once. But the second the blows were emotional, the way they really hurt… Ryou shook his head, sighing.
Being left in the bathroom like a used towel – that hurt.
Ryou made it to his bed without thinking, curled under his quilts – hid under them really. It was nice to have somewhere to hide, but he needed a place of solace, somewhere better than the bed that wasn't really safe.
"I changed the sheets," a smooth voice came from the doorway, and Ryou peeked out from under his thick quilt to see Yami leaning against the doorframe; the light from the hallway outlined his body, contrasting him from the darkness of the room.
"Thanks," Ryou grumbled, going back to his hiding place under the sheets. "That means they'll be somewhere in the living room for me to wash tomorrow, right?"
"Yes." Yami chuckled. "He wore you out, huh? Insatiable bastard…"
"I'm tired," Ryou said stiffly. "Go away."
"Oh, sorry to disturb you," Yami replied patronizingly, and Ryou heard him close the door.
He sighed heavily.
He needed a place to escape to – even if Yami had left, he would still be there in the morning, or Bakura would just take his place in that doorway…
"I can't take much more of this," he murmured to himself, biting his lip to hold back tears. Damn it, he never used to cry, not until THEM… not until Bakura…
Ryou threw off his blankets, navigating the room in the dark to find some clothes.
If he was ever going to find a place of comfort, he was going to have to do it soon, and there was no time greater than the present.
Notes
Look, I finally did it! XD Hopefully it doesn't suck too much – I'd hate to take so long only to blow.
*no thoughts* haha, all this time, and not a single thought? I must suck. x.x