Well I only confuse people when I start rambling about my friends so for
once (and this may be only a once if nobody comments on how they like it
better or worse)I won(t and I realize now how much I sound like
Tea...*shudder* that is my worst nightmare...for the record my favorite
characters are Royou and Bakura, Royou because he(s nice and of course
everyone likes Royou (hint hint) and Bakura because he is insanely evil and
a tomb robber and gives excellent advice on how to dominate the world in
(bakura(s book of threats and more( (this was written by jessica messenger
of the devil, it is not mine) plus most of my good quotes are from him ^_^
oh...and marik and malik, marik because he has a nice tan (just
kidding...he(s a psyco) and malik because, heck who DOESN(T like to stretch
out their face???
anyway onward...
Disclaimer: I own Yugi-oh,^_^ put in a disclaimer or I(ll sue you! (wink)
notice how they keep changing the title? Heheh aren(t they funny? I(m going
to have to
**********************
the essential handbook for world domination
by: Bakura/ Marik/Royou/Malik
(a/n I know some people put it down as Malik but I(ve seen it both ways,
I(ll personally use Marik as the less evil version of himself, and Malik as
the totally evil version)
Lesson five: Threats for morons
by Bakura.
Now most people use threats. For anything from robbing a bank to getting a
pesky younger brother to leave a room, but it wasn(t always so, the over
used threat merely makes a victim laugh, and most good tomb robbers know,
that if you threaten to punch someone while robbing a bank they may just
ask you if you want something, and the entire purpose of your attempted
intimidation is spoiled, whereas if you pull out a millennium rod/ring,
send someone to the shadow realm then tell the cashier to give you all
their money then they may actually do it, for these reasons,
a. because they want to go home with their soul still in their body, b.
because they are worried that you are the escaped psychopathic baby sitter
they read about in the tabloids, c. because they think you are hot when you
demand stuff, in the case of the third, demand their phone number too,
provided the person is attractive and of the proper gender to think such
things if not, slap them, call them a pervert, send them to the shadow
realm, and take all their money anyway IN THAT ORDER!!! With this money you
are ready to buy an intimidating weapon, intimidating outfit, and a ton of
hair gel so you can have that gravity defying, intimidating hair, which
will go well with your manly good looks, and then after you blow the wad of
cash off you are ready to rob another bank and do the same thing over
again. Possible threats that are effective would include:
(mortal! I will rip out your tongue and sell it to a middle school lunch
room unless you give me (insert sum of money here( immediately!(
If they do not comply kill them or send them to the shadow realm, then find
a new victim.
(Worthless worm!!! Give me (sum of money( or I(ll set fire to your liver!!
And the birds of the air and beasts of the field, will feast upon your
carcass, and all who walk past, will mock and jeer(
if they ignore you, nod politely, call security, or just walk by while
looking at you as if you are crazy, run after them and send them to the
shadow realm, then drag along the body with you to the next victim and tell
them calmly that you do not like people who do not answer you the way you
want them to, if they still do not give you any money, give yourself two
bodies to drag and so on until you find a group of people who will pay.
Third threat:
I SHALL ADD YOUR NOSEHAIRS, AND EYELIDS TO MY WALL COLLECTION UNLESS YOU
GIVE ME THE AMOUNT OF MONEY I WANT!!!!!
This generally works, provided people want to keep their nose hairs and
eyelids, which is most of the time, because people usually enjoy using
their eyelids, and nosehairs are a hard thing to live without believe it or
not!
Four:
YOU WITH THE BRAINS AND LOOKS OF A DESERT SHREW! YOU SON OF A DOG AND A
CAMEL!! GIVE ME WHAT I ASK AND I WILL NOT POST THIS PICTURE OF YOU AND YOUR
HOME ADDRESS ON THE INTERNET, UNDER THE ACCUSATION OF CREATING THE MLA
FORMAT BIBLIOGRAPHY
this is one of the most highly effective threats, if they are of the few
unaffected by such threats scream at a random pile of high schoolers and
tell them that this person is the inventor of the mla bibliography, there
will be no evidence left of the person(s existence...I can guarantee it!
-bakura
******
I marik have no time for this drivel, for one day I shall take the
pahraoh(s puzzle and rule the world MUAHAHAAAHHHAAAAHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!
What is this (key-board( that royou keeps talking about? It shall not stop
my rising to ultamite power! Nobody shall stop me!!!!!!!!!!
This (key-board( shall be one of the many to fall beneath my ultimate
power!!!!
-marik
you fool!!! Bow before me, or risk my glorious wrath!!!
******
Jolly-good,
I, royou bakura wish to apologize for any problems these three may cause,
and I do not suggest that you use the eyelids threat...malik made that one
and he tends to have quite an effect on people, instead you may come and
join me for tea if you wish, I highly urge you to give up this world
domination plan.
Someone may get hurt.
-royou
*******
malik lieks fiyer!!!!!!!!!!
Folish mortaul!!! Iy wil send yu to thee shadowe relm!!! yu wil los yor
mynd!! Iy wil laff!!!! WAHAHAAAAAH!!!!
Stewpid ryo wonts tew tak miye keybored!! Iy sendt ryo tew thee shadaow
relm!! Iy wil gow laff agin!! Biy compewtur pepol!!
Tak ofer thee wurld with mey plees!!!
Iy(m bord!!! nd marik wil not stup lafing abut takeng ofer thee world, he
wont plae monoplely with mey.
T_T thatts a cring fac. Malik cring. Beecuz Malik to bord.
-malik
pe, es. Iy liek fiyer. do yu? Kan yu plae monopely with mey?
once (and this may be only a once if nobody comments on how they like it
better or worse)I won(t and I realize now how much I sound like
Tea...*shudder* that is my worst nightmare...for the record my favorite
characters are Royou and Bakura, Royou because he(s nice and of course
everyone likes Royou (hint hint) and Bakura because he is insanely evil and
a tomb robber and gives excellent advice on how to dominate the world in
(bakura(s book of threats and more( (this was written by jessica messenger
of the devil, it is not mine) plus most of my good quotes are from him ^_^
oh...and marik and malik, marik because he has a nice tan (just
kidding...he(s a psyco) and malik because, heck who DOESN(T like to stretch
out their face???
anyway onward...
Disclaimer: I own Yugi-oh,^_^ put in a disclaimer or I(ll sue you! (wink)
notice how they keep changing the title? Heheh aren(t they funny? I(m going
to have to
**********************
the essential handbook for world domination
by: Bakura/ Marik/Royou/Malik
(a/n I know some people put it down as Malik but I(ve seen it both ways,
I(ll personally use Marik as the less evil version of himself, and Malik as
the totally evil version)
Lesson five: Threats for morons
by Bakura.
Now most people use threats. For anything from robbing a bank to getting a
pesky younger brother to leave a room, but it wasn(t always so, the over
used threat merely makes a victim laugh, and most good tomb robbers know,
that if you threaten to punch someone while robbing a bank they may just
ask you if you want something, and the entire purpose of your attempted
intimidation is spoiled, whereas if you pull out a millennium rod/ring,
send someone to the shadow realm then tell the cashier to give you all
their money then they may actually do it, for these reasons,
a. because they want to go home with their soul still in their body, b.
because they are worried that you are the escaped psychopathic baby sitter
they read about in the tabloids, c. because they think you are hot when you
demand stuff, in the case of the third, demand their phone number too,
provided the person is attractive and of the proper gender to think such
things if not, slap them, call them a pervert, send them to the shadow
realm, and take all their money anyway IN THAT ORDER!!! With this money you
are ready to buy an intimidating weapon, intimidating outfit, and a ton of
hair gel so you can have that gravity defying, intimidating hair, which
will go well with your manly good looks, and then after you blow the wad of
cash off you are ready to rob another bank and do the same thing over
again. Possible threats that are effective would include:
(mortal! I will rip out your tongue and sell it to a middle school lunch
room unless you give me (insert sum of money here( immediately!(
If they do not comply kill them or send them to the shadow realm, then find
a new victim.
(Worthless worm!!! Give me (sum of money( or I(ll set fire to your liver!!
And the birds of the air and beasts of the field, will feast upon your
carcass, and all who walk past, will mock and jeer(
if they ignore you, nod politely, call security, or just walk by while
looking at you as if you are crazy, run after them and send them to the
shadow realm, then drag along the body with you to the next victim and tell
them calmly that you do not like people who do not answer you the way you
want them to, if they still do not give you any money, give yourself two
bodies to drag and so on until you find a group of people who will pay.
Third threat:
I SHALL ADD YOUR NOSEHAIRS, AND EYELIDS TO MY WALL COLLECTION UNLESS YOU
GIVE ME THE AMOUNT OF MONEY I WANT!!!!!
This generally works, provided people want to keep their nose hairs and
eyelids, which is most of the time, because people usually enjoy using
their eyelids, and nosehairs are a hard thing to live without believe it or
not!
Four:
YOU WITH THE BRAINS AND LOOKS OF A DESERT SHREW! YOU SON OF A DOG AND A
CAMEL!! GIVE ME WHAT I ASK AND I WILL NOT POST THIS PICTURE OF YOU AND YOUR
HOME ADDRESS ON THE INTERNET, UNDER THE ACCUSATION OF CREATING THE MLA
FORMAT BIBLIOGRAPHY
this is one of the most highly effective threats, if they are of the few
unaffected by such threats scream at a random pile of high schoolers and
tell them that this person is the inventor of the mla bibliography, there
will be no evidence left of the person(s existence...I can guarantee it!
-bakura
******
I marik have no time for this drivel, for one day I shall take the
pahraoh(s puzzle and rule the world MUAHAHAAAHHHAAAAHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!
What is this (key-board( that royou keeps talking about? It shall not stop
my rising to ultamite power! Nobody shall stop me!!!!!!!!!!
This (key-board( shall be one of the many to fall beneath my ultimate
power!!!!
-marik
you fool!!! Bow before me, or risk my glorious wrath!!!
******
Jolly-good,
I, royou bakura wish to apologize for any problems these three may cause,
and I do not suggest that you use the eyelids threat...malik made that one
and he tends to have quite an effect on people, instead you may come and
join me for tea if you wish, I highly urge you to give up this world
domination plan.
Someone may get hurt.
-royou
*******
malik lieks fiyer!!!!!!!!!!
Folish mortaul!!! Iy wil send yu to thee shadowe relm!!! yu wil los yor
mynd!! Iy wil laff!!!! WAHAHAAAAAH!!!!
Stewpid ryo wonts tew tak miye keybored!! Iy sendt ryo tew thee shadaow
relm!! Iy wil gow laff agin!! Biy compewtur pepol!!
Tak ofer thee wurld with mey plees!!!
Iy(m bord!!! nd marik wil not stup lafing abut takeng ofer thee world, he
wont plae monoplely with mey.
T_T thatts a cring fac. Malik cring. Beecuz Malik to bord.
-malik
pe, es. Iy liek fiyer. do yu? Kan yu plae monopely with mey?