Three weeks had passed since the episode with Lavender and Dean, and
Lavender was now going out with Dean, after telling Harry the truth. Harry
was of course a little hurt when he found out, and it nearly made Hermione
cry every time she saw his sad expression as he stared off into space. She
knew he was thinking about all the broken relationships in his life. His
parents, aunt and uncle, cousin, Cho, Lavender, Sirius...
But considering the impact the break up should have had on him, Harry seemed strangely untouched by the incident. He shrugged it off after a couple of days, and even smiled at Lavender in class. For them to remain friends after such a betrayal showed that Harry was stronger than Hermione gave him credit for.
It was late on a Friday night before a Hogsmeade trip. She was still up in the common room much later that night than usual. Having taken more subjects than anyone in the rest of the year meant that the homework load often got to her before it got to anyone else. She was deathly tired, but persisted.
In the middle of an Ancient Runes translation, she had to search for her dictionary. She could not for the life of her locate the book anywhere on the tables she had been working at. Looking over at the table Harry and Ron had seated themselves at earlier, she wondered if perhaps she had left it there previously.
Wandering over, she searched through piles of books, sifted through parchment and reorganized the desk completely. She didn't find the dictionary, but she did find a black, leather bound book. Turning over the covers, there was no writing on either side.
Looking over her shoulder to see if anyone was coming down the stairs, she opened the cover. What she saw inside froze her heart. This was Harry's journal.
Every ounce of her mind was trying to make her put the diary down and forget she'd ever seen it, but as if she could not control her hands, she found herself turning the page over to the first days of the summer holidays.
Entranced, she read page after page of Harry's thoughts, dreams and experiences. She read his feelings on the different issues that had plagued Harry for the three months, nearly bursting into tears as she read all the horrible things Harry had been through with his aunt and uncle.
Turning a few more pages into the journal, she stopped. She'd reached the first few pages of the new school year. There, written in jet-black ink, was Harry's opinion of her relationship with Ron ending. Hermione couldn't help herself. She sank into the chair and began to read.
"I know I should feel bad for Ron, but I can't help being glad that they aren't together any longer. It means Ron is free to do the stuff we used to, and that Hermione is free.what a crap thing to say and feel. I'm such a dickhead to be lying to my two best friends. Ron and Hermione made a much better couple than Hermione and I ever would. That's if Hermione ever liked me. Besides, Ron's had a major thing for her since first year. I've liked her for a long time, but never as much as Ron did. Until this year. Then I noticed her."
Hermione's heart stopped. She flipped a few pages further into the book.
"Lavender is fantastic and all, I mean, she's a great girl, but there's just something missing in her for me. It's nothing really wrong with her, its just the fact that I guess I know she isn't the best person for me. I know who that person is. And I know its wrong for me to be dating Lavender with this secret, but I can't shake my feelings for Hermione. I thought dating Lavender would change my opinion on it, but it didn't. And I don't think anything ever will."
The page went on, revealing more about Harry's innermost secrets. But Hermione, sickened at heart, shut the journal and put it down. Harry? Harry Potter? The Golden Boy of Hogwarts, the wonder of the wizarding world, the boy every girl wanted to date ... Harry was in love with Hermione? It seemed too good to be true. But if Harry had liked her for so long, why had he never confessed to her?
"The same reason I never confessed to him," Hermione realized.
The sound of footsteps on the stairs made her look up. Standing at the bottom of the stairs was Harry Potter.
Hermione stood up immediately. "Harry!" she gasped.
Harry looked just as startled to see her. "Hermione ... what are you doing still up?" He looked at his watch. "It's so late."
"Yes, well, I-I was j-just leaving actually." She stumbled over to her table and grabbed a load of parchment before turning, smiling nervously at Harry and starting to leave to room.
"Why were you at Ron's and my table?" Harry asked, amused. "Looking to see how much homework we had or hadn't done?" He began to walk over and then something seemed to hit him, as though he'd walked into an invisible wall of glass. His eyes took in the diary lying innocently on the table. Too innocently.
He whirled around to see Hermione's guilty face. "You read that book?" he asked, aghast.
Hermione exhaled nervously. "I-It was just lying there, I didn't know what it was until it was too late... "
Harry's eyes were wild and glossy. "You read my journal?" He looked around bewilderedly. "How could you not know what it was? Inside are plainly marked entries, with every possible hint you could ever need!"
Hermione took a deep breath and said shakily; "I saw my name on an entry. And . I saw something about Ron and me. I . I thought it would be okay if I just read that to see what you really..."
Harry grabbed the book and tears started to form in the corners of his eyes. "So you read it?"
Hermione's heart fell at the sight of Harry's shocked and hurt expression. "I'm so sorry, Harry."
Droplets fell down Harry's cheeks as he shouted, "And now you're going to go and tell everyone aren't you?"
Hermione gasped. "No, of course not!"
"Oh, sure," Harry said scornfully. "You read things about the famous Harry Potter that reporters would pay gold for, and you're not going to tell anyone."
Hermione grabbed his shoulder desperately. "Harry, I wouldn't ever tell anyone! You know that! I'm sorry I read it, but can't we just talk about it?"
Harry wrenched his shoulder out of her grasp and silenced her with a glare. "Talking about it? You think talking about it would help? To have to you condescendingly look at me and explain that you can't ever return feelings for the poor Potter boy?" he spat.
"No!" Hermione burst out, feeling that she would burst into tears at any moment.
"What's going on down here?" Ron stepped blearily into the room. "Why are you two out so late?"
"No reason," Harry straightened and looked Ron levelly in the eyes. "I just came downstairs to check Hermione wasn't working herself to death."
Ron looked to Hermione for an explanation. Hermione gulped back a sob and smiled weakly. Seeming to give up, Ron shrugged and said, "Coming?" to the pair of them.
Hermione desperately tried to catch Harry's eye, but he seemed not to notice her. As Ron disappeared back up the stairs, she blurted out, "Harry, I..."
But Harry continued walking as if he couldn't hear anything. Hermione let a sob escape as she called, "Wait!" Harry slowed to a halt, but didn't turn to face her.
"Harry, listen, I understand ..." she began.
Harry cut her off. "No you don't, Hermione. No one does." With that he turned and fled away up the stairs, leaving a distraught Hermione far behind with tears rolling down her cheeks.
But considering the impact the break up should have had on him, Harry seemed strangely untouched by the incident. He shrugged it off after a couple of days, and even smiled at Lavender in class. For them to remain friends after such a betrayal showed that Harry was stronger than Hermione gave him credit for.
It was late on a Friday night before a Hogsmeade trip. She was still up in the common room much later that night than usual. Having taken more subjects than anyone in the rest of the year meant that the homework load often got to her before it got to anyone else. She was deathly tired, but persisted.
In the middle of an Ancient Runes translation, she had to search for her dictionary. She could not for the life of her locate the book anywhere on the tables she had been working at. Looking over at the table Harry and Ron had seated themselves at earlier, she wondered if perhaps she had left it there previously.
Wandering over, she searched through piles of books, sifted through parchment and reorganized the desk completely. She didn't find the dictionary, but she did find a black, leather bound book. Turning over the covers, there was no writing on either side.
Looking over her shoulder to see if anyone was coming down the stairs, she opened the cover. What she saw inside froze her heart. This was Harry's journal.
Every ounce of her mind was trying to make her put the diary down and forget she'd ever seen it, but as if she could not control her hands, she found herself turning the page over to the first days of the summer holidays.
Entranced, she read page after page of Harry's thoughts, dreams and experiences. She read his feelings on the different issues that had plagued Harry for the three months, nearly bursting into tears as she read all the horrible things Harry had been through with his aunt and uncle.
Turning a few more pages into the journal, she stopped. She'd reached the first few pages of the new school year. There, written in jet-black ink, was Harry's opinion of her relationship with Ron ending. Hermione couldn't help herself. She sank into the chair and began to read.
"I know I should feel bad for Ron, but I can't help being glad that they aren't together any longer. It means Ron is free to do the stuff we used to, and that Hermione is free.what a crap thing to say and feel. I'm such a dickhead to be lying to my two best friends. Ron and Hermione made a much better couple than Hermione and I ever would. That's if Hermione ever liked me. Besides, Ron's had a major thing for her since first year. I've liked her for a long time, but never as much as Ron did. Until this year. Then I noticed her."
Hermione's heart stopped. She flipped a few pages further into the book.
"Lavender is fantastic and all, I mean, she's a great girl, but there's just something missing in her for me. It's nothing really wrong with her, its just the fact that I guess I know she isn't the best person for me. I know who that person is. And I know its wrong for me to be dating Lavender with this secret, but I can't shake my feelings for Hermione. I thought dating Lavender would change my opinion on it, but it didn't. And I don't think anything ever will."
The page went on, revealing more about Harry's innermost secrets. But Hermione, sickened at heart, shut the journal and put it down. Harry? Harry Potter? The Golden Boy of Hogwarts, the wonder of the wizarding world, the boy every girl wanted to date ... Harry was in love with Hermione? It seemed too good to be true. But if Harry had liked her for so long, why had he never confessed to her?
"The same reason I never confessed to him," Hermione realized.
The sound of footsteps on the stairs made her look up. Standing at the bottom of the stairs was Harry Potter.
Hermione stood up immediately. "Harry!" she gasped.
Harry looked just as startled to see her. "Hermione ... what are you doing still up?" He looked at his watch. "It's so late."
"Yes, well, I-I was j-just leaving actually." She stumbled over to her table and grabbed a load of parchment before turning, smiling nervously at Harry and starting to leave to room.
"Why were you at Ron's and my table?" Harry asked, amused. "Looking to see how much homework we had or hadn't done?" He began to walk over and then something seemed to hit him, as though he'd walked into an invisible wall of glass. His eyes took in the diary lying innocently on the table. Too innocently.
He whirled around to see Hermione's guilty face. "You read that book?" he asked, aghast.
Hermione exhaled nervously. "I-It was just lying there, I didn't know what it was until it was too late... "
Harry's eyes were wild and glossy. "You read my journal?" He looked around bewilderedly. "How could you not know what it was? Inside are plainly marked entries, with every possible hint you could ever need!"
Hermione took a deep breath and said shakily; "I saw my name on an entry. And . I saw something about Ron and me. I . I thought it would be okay if I just read that to see what you really..."
Harry grabbed the book and tears started to form in the corners of his eyes. "So you read it?"
Hermione's heart fell at the sight of Harry's shocked and hurt expression. "I'm so sorry, Harry."
Droplets fell down Harry's cheeks as he shouted, "And now you're going to go and tell everyone aren't you?"
Hermione gasped. "No, of course not!"
"Oh, sure," Harry said scornfully. "You read things about the famous Harry Potter that reporters would pay gold for, and you're not going to tell anyone."
Hermione grabbed his shoulder desperately. "Harry, I wouldn't ever tell anyone! You know that! I'm sorry I read it, but can't we just talk about it?"
Harry wrenched his shoulder out of her grasp and silenced her with a glare. "Talking about it? You think talking about it would help? To have to you condescendingly look at me and explain that you can't ever return feelings for the poor Potter boy?" he spat.
"No!" Hermione burst out, feeling that she would burst into tears at any moment.
"What's going on down here?" Ron stepped blearily into the room. "Why are you two out so late?"
"No reason," Harry straightened and looked Ron levelly in the eyes. "I just came downstairs to check Hermione wasn't working herself to death."
Ron looked to Hermione for an explanation. Hermione gulped back a sob and smiled weakly. Seeming to give up, Ron shrugged and said, "Coming?" to the pair of them.
Hermione desperately tried to catch Harry's eye, but he seemed not to notice her. As Ron disappeared back up the stairs, she blurted out, "Harry, I..."
But Harry continued walking as if he couldn't hear anything. Hermione let a sob escape as she called, "Wait!" Harry slowed to a halt, but didn't turn to face her.
"Harry, listen, I understand ..." she began.
Harry cut her off. "No you don't, Hermione. No one does." With that he turned and fled away up the stairs, leaving a distraught Hermione far behind with tears rolling down her cheeks.