Untitled Jack/Will
G, or maybe PG-13
Not mine.
Note : Set before Tortuga, on the Interceptor.
"Ow."
"..."
"......ow!"
"*sigh* What is it, Jack? What now? Wait... no. Let me guess. Savage weevil bit you. No... hit your head on the yardarm? No? Hm, then you must have bitten your tongue again and I'll have nothing to do with that. I haven't got time for this, Jack. I have to save Elizabeth."
"Oh, I see. Fir'sly though. You w'wrong about the weevil. He never did anything wrong, bless 'im. Actually I happen to 'ave a splinter in my finger, an' I'll 'ave you know it's very painful. Second, an' don't you interrupt, biting your tongue is no laughing matter, whether you bit it physically, metaphorically, or judgementally, savvy? Lastly, you do so 'appen to 'ave a great deal of time, seein' as there's little wind at the moment, an' I'm doin' the hard work as 't is. Oh, and I might mention, you are just sittin' there. I am the one doin' all of the savin' of your... beautifical Miss. Swann."
"...a splinter?"
"Yes, actually."
"The infamous Captain Jack Sparrow, in pain because of a splinter? And a tiny one at that? I don't believe this."
"Well you'll 'ave to. An' I don' wannit getting infected so, young Mr. Turner, if you would be so kind..."
"...what exactly am I meant to be doing?"
"Splinter. In my finger. Hurts."
"Yes, I am quite aware of that, as it happens. Although I refuse to do anything about it."
"In tha' case. As your Captain, I order you to remove the enormous piece of... ship... that's stuck so inelegantly in my poor finger. Pearl wouldn'a done this to me."
"Pearl?"
"Splinter."
"Ok..."
"..."
"..."
"OW!"
"There. It's out. Satisfied, Captain?"
"..."
"Well?"
"Not quite."
"What?"
"Kiss it better."
"What!"
"I said kiss it better, lo- lad."
"but... what?"
"That's three 'whats'. Why?"
"... what?"
"Four, and counting."
"Oh, you're insufferable!"
"Kiss it better an' I'll leave you alo-one..."
"..."
"Mm."
"Why are you still here? You said if I-"
"An' very nice it was too. 'Cept for one thing."
"And what's that?"
"Don't be offended, now, because it wasn't your fault, love. I actually, ah, have two splinters."
"I see. Where's the other one"
"Well fortunately, I got tha' one out by me onesies, but I couldn' kiss meself better so..."
"I think I get the general idea of what you're saying, Jack. Where's this other splinter of yours, dare I ask."
"..."
"How'd you get a splinter in your lip?"
"A myst'ry, I assure you, but it hurts like the devil."
"Never."
"..."
"Oh don't look like that."
"..."
"*sigh* Oh all right, all right! You win... Captain."
"Mmm."
"Jack?"
"Unn?"
"There was no second splinter, was there?"
This is my first attempt at fanfiction (and my first finished piece in a while), so don't be cruel! I'd love review, if you got the time 3
Hope you enjoyed it!
-Remy