Theresa stared at herself in the mirror as she combed her hair. The look in the eyes that she saw staring back at her were empty. The person staring back at her was empty. Helpless...Afraid...Alone. No words could really describe how she felt at that moment. One day she was on top of the world and the next day she was recieving chemotherapy treatments. Self pity washed over her and she began to cry.
She cried for the person that she was that she was no longer. She cried in fear, scared that the cancer would slowly eat away at her body and she would die a long, painful death. And most of all she cried for Ethan. She couldn't bring herself to tell him, if it was crushing her she knew it would definately crush him.
Weak. She felt so weak. She felt that she could never be strong enough. No one could be strong enough. She slowly sank to the floor in misery. Nothing mattered to her anymore. She wanted to die.
She just sat there. She didn't move..she could hardly breathe.
Strength suddenly came and put his arms around her. She looked up to meet his face.
"Fox." she whispered.
Fox nodded and sat down next to her, holding her as she sobbed in arms. It hurt him to see her hurting. He felt like there was nothing he could do for her but be there. So he stayed.
Theresa finally let go and wiped her eyes as he brushed the stray hair out of her face.
"I'm so glad you're here." she said forcing him a smile.
"You remember that time when we were little? When.. when you had so much hope and so many dreams. You refused to let go of any of them."
"Yeah, but I was young then." she said shaking her head. "I didn't know then that hopes and dreams can be crushed just as soon as you wished for them."
"No, you're wrong." he said as he stroked her hair. "Your dream was to become a beautiful young woman.. and that dream has definately come true."
Theresa let out a light laugh. "And I also dreamed that I would be a healthy young woman and that I would live happily ever after with Ethan and those dreams just faded away."
"The sun fades every evening but it always returns in the morning."
Silence filled the air as Theresa stared down at the floor. "Even if the dreams return it doesn't mean that they're going to come true."
Fox sighed and moved closer to Theresa. "Close your eyes."
"What?" Theresa asked startled.
"Close your eyes." he said softly.
Theresa slowly closed her eyes and waited. "Why are my eyes closed?" she asked.
"Don't ask questions, just answer mine." he replied. "What do you see?" he asked.
"Nothing."
"What do you feel?"
Theresa hesitated. "Nothing."
"One time there was this young girl who told me that no matter what's happening to you, you can just close your eyes and everything disappears. Apparently she was right."
Tears began to fall down Theresa's face as she opened her eyes. "That girl was me." she whispered.
"That girl IS you." he said gently as wiped the tears from her eyes. "Theresa, I know you are going through so much right now but underneath everything... underneath your fear, your pain.. that girl is still there. The girl whose life..whose eyes are always filled with hope. Whose mind is always filled with dreams... I miss that girl."
"I do too." she said in between tears.
"When will I be able to see her again?"
The point that Fox was trying to make got across to Theresa and she stood up. "You go." she said motioning him to the living room. "I'll be out in a minute, ok?"
Fox nodded and closed the door behind him.
Theresa sighed and looked back in the mirror. "Fox is right. The only way I'm going to keep myself alive is if I focus on the postive things." she said to herself. "It's what Dad would have wanted me to do."
She cried for the person that she was that she was no longer. She cried in fear, scared that the cancer would slowly eat away at her body and she would die a long, painful death. And most of all she cried for Ethan. She couldn't bring herself to tell him, if it was crushing her she knew it would definately crush him.
Weak. She felt so weak. She felt that she could never be strong enough. No one could be strong enough. She slowly sank to the floor in misery. Nothing mattered to her anymore. She wanted to die.
She just sat there. She didn't move..she could hardly breathe.
Strength suddenly came and put his arms around her. She looked up to meet his face.
"Fox." she whispered.
Fox nodded and sat down next to her, holding her as she sobbed in arms. It hurt him to see her hurting. He felt like there was nothing he could do for her but be there. So he stayed.
Theresa finally let go and wiped her eyes as he brushed the stray hair out of her face.
"I'm so glad you're here." she said forcing him a smile.
"You remember that time when we were little? When.. when you had so much hope and so many dreams. You refused to let go of any of them."
"Yeah, but I was young then." she said shaking her head. "I didn't know then that hopes and dreams can be crushed just as soon as you wished for them."
"No, you're wrong." he said as he stroked her hair. "Your dream was to become a beautiful young woman.. and that dream has definately come true."
Theresa let out a light laugh. "And I also dreamed that I would be a healthy young woman and that I would live happily ever after with Ethan and those dreams just faded away."
"The sun fades every evening but it always returns in the morning."
Silence filled the air as Theresa stared down at the floor. "Even if the dreams return it doesn't mean that they're going to come true."
Fox sighed and moved closer to Theresa. "Close your eyes."
"What?" Theresa asked startled.
"Close your eyes." he said softly.
Theresa slowly closed her eyes and waited. "Why are my eyes closed?" she asked.
"Don't ask questions, just answer mine." he replied. "What do you see?" he asked.
"Nothing."
"What do you feel?"
Theresa hesitated. "Nothing."
"One time there was this young girl who told me that no matter what's happening to you, you can just close your eyes and everything disappears. Apparently she was right."
Tears began to fall down Theresa's face as she opened her eyes. "That girl was me." she whispered.
"That girl IS you." he said gently as wiped the tears from her eyes. "Theresa, I know you are going through so much right now but underneath everything... underneath your fear, your pain.. that girl is still there. The girl whose life..whose eyes are always filled with hope. Whose mind is always filled with dreams... I miss that girl."
"I do too." she said in between tears.
"When will I be able to see her again?"
The point that Fox was trying to make got across to Theresa and she stood up. "You go." she said motioning him to the living room. "I'll be out in a minute, ok?"
Fox nodded and closed the door behind him.
Theresa sighed and looked back in the mirror. "Fox is right. The only way I'm going to keep myself alive is if I focus on the postive things." she said to herself. "It's what Dad would have wanted me to do."