TITLE: Break

DISCLAIMER: See chapter one

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN ~ Lost

"Wake up, sleeping one. The world you knew is gone."

'Ruari's Dream'

CY 7831

^~*~^"So it's come to this?" Tyr asked, entering machine shop. The lights were dim, and he failed to notice the sheen of sweat, the tiny pupils and the pale skin of the engineer before him.

Harper rolled his eyes. Didn't privacy mode count for anything these days? Realising that issues of privacy weren't really a priority, he went about acting innocent; All the while trying to shake off the darkness that threatened to engulf him. But he could see his walls of deception were crashing down around him. Everything was falling apart. He was falling apart.

"She found out your secret and you had to stop her," Tyr said, seeing Rommie out cold on the floor. The damage was clearly inflicted by Harper. Andriods "Do you plan to shoot me aswell? And then the next person who finds out, and the next?"

Harper didn't say it, but the thought had crossed his warped mind.

"Killing yourself by putting a gun to your chest is by far a better option than this." Tyr continued. He stared hard at the boy, even though he wouldn't meet him in the eye. "At least if you had died back then you still had some dignity, and people who, for some reason, took it upon themselves to care about you. But this? This will not only kill you, it will take away everything you ever had, and turn your life against you. Is that what you want?"

Harper shook off the fleeting moment of madness that told him to listen to Tyr. "Since when did you care so much about anyone besides yourself!?" he snapped. "You're just like the rest of them."

"What's going on here?" A third party had joined the little gathering. It was Dylan coming to check on Rommie. At least he was invited. Dylan could hear the shouting from the next corridor, and wanted answers but his question was met with excruciating silence.

Harper stared with wild eyes at Tyr, who returned it just as hard. Tyr contemplated what she should do and Harper wanted to see if he would do it.

"I'm waiting," Dylan prompted.

"A would tell you to ask Harper yourself," Tyr began "But considering his state of mind, I doubt you would get a straight answer."

Harper would have argued had he not been trying desperately to keep from falling unconscious. Dylan wanted to hear an explanation.

"Since we arrived on Ostara, and possibly even before then, our young Mr Harper has been filling his body with god only knows what chemicals substances."

Dylan listened in stunned silence while Tyr continued. "I believe the android found out and that is why she is know unconscious."

"Harper, is this true?" Of course it was true. It all made sense. Harper never went to the hospital that day, which was why there were no records of head injuries. The medical documents were fake, because he didn't want to get found out. His behaviour was concordant with a drug-user, and yet, even with all the pieces of the puzzle slowly fitting together, Dylan needed to hear it from Harper.

But Harper was no longer listening. Every one of his senses had given up, and he swayed before collapsing.

^~*~^

The mood was more depressing than ever among the senior crewmembers. Trance, Beka and Dylan were in med-deck standing over Harper's sleeping body. After overdosing, it had been touch and go for a while, but Trance had managed to get him stabilised after Tyr hauled him to medical.

"What can you tell me about the drugs he was using?" Dylan asked grimly. The only thing he was good at dealing with was getting into and out of life-threatening situations, strategic battles and solving diplomatic problems. This, he didn't know how to handle. He didn't know how to act, so he acted the only way he knew how - like a Captain.

"I've identified three different chemical traces," Trance explained sorrowfully. "One is from some suppressants, which he must have got from here. They're not harmful, but in the amount I've found in his blood stream? Let's just say it isn't good."

Dylan kept her eye on Beka, who was staring at Harper lying on the bed. He was sure that if no-one else had been there, she would be crying. Trance continued.

"There's also a substantial amount of something I think was derived from Hexin. But the worst..." she faltered. She didn't even want to believe what she had to say, how were the others going to take it?

"What is it Trance?" Dylan said calmly.

"It's hard to say for sure, it's got compounds of several other very powerful drugs - Seretin, Xenitrene, even K8X. It was designed to be immediately and devastatingly addictive."

Dylan was silent. Things looked worse and worse by the minute. "I'll inform the Ostarian authorities they have a serious problem on their hands, if they don't know already," he said, though his thoughts were more selfishly on Harper. Did he know what he was taking? Dylan didn't know which answer would be worse.

Trance acknowledged regretfully. "There's more, Dylan."

Beka had never taken her eyes from Harper's still form. More? How could anything be worse than this? She had denied her own instincts - instincts that had served her well. Maybe if she had trusted herself, Harper wouldn't be in so much trouble. Why had she been so blind?

"The drug is impure," Trance explained. "I don't think whatever this is was ready for use on the drug market. It's experimental at best. I can't even begin to think about the effect it's had on his brain, but I do know if Harper stops taking it, his system will go into shock and he'll die."

"Is there anything you can do? Make up some kind of treatment to ease the effects?" Dylan asked after the news had sunk in.

"I'll try everything I can," Trance responded. She could do no less.

"Keep me informed. We've got supplies to deliver," Dylan told her. "Beka?"

"I'll be there in a sec," she replied. Dylan left her to it. Trance went to gather some plants and herbs that might help, and Beka was all alone.

"I promised you," she whispered to Harper. "I'm so sorry."

Harper stirred.

"Harper?" she called softly. "Can you hear me?"

Harper head was swimming again, but after a while realised where he was, and who was with him. "Beka?"

"Yeah, it's me," Beka replied with tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

The drugs in his system allowed a surge of adrenaline to course through Harper's body, and he was suddenly very active, sitting upright, and swinging off the bed. "What am I doing here?" he asked anxiously.

"You overdosed, but you're okay now," Beka told him, trying and failing to ease him back down onto the bed.

Harper looked at her with hurt-filled eyes. For the longest time nothing was uttered, but volumes were said between the two. Finally Harper spoke. "Beka, you have to believe me....none of this is my fault, she made me do it!"

Beka was hesitant. What was he talking about? "Who?"

The rising panic was evident in Harper's voice. "Lane Farrow. She's alive, Beka, she's alive and she got into my head," he said desperately. He wanted to have proof for her, but since his secret was now out, his word would have to be enough.

"Harper, Lane Farrow is dead," Beka said calmly.

Harper laughed. "Yeah, that's what I thought at first, but it's not true. She planted herself in my head, it was the holo-imager I'm sure of it. She drove me to this, and came to Ostara to see her work," he tried vainly to tell her everything he knew, but he could see Beka struggling to make sense of it all.

"You know as well as I do there were no survivors from Autriva, Harper. Please, just lay down and try to get some rest," Beka tried. Harper was obviously deluded. Who wouldn't be with that amount of toxins in their system?

"She attacked me!" he shouted. "She's the one who did this!" he gestured to the scarring wound on his face.

"Why should she believe you? She despises you. Everything you've ever told her was a lie," Lane said, sitting on the bed.

"You don't believe me?" Harper asked Beka, his heart on the verge of shattering.

"You're sick. You need to rest."

With that, Beka had told Harper everything he needed to know. If Beka no longer had faith in him, there was nothing left on Andromeda he had to stay for. It was time to leave.

^~*~^

End of chapter seventeen

Next chapter: As It Seems