In My Hands
Chapter Two- Flooding my Senses The Second of Three- Hurting the One I Loved
By Miroku ai
Rated- PG-13 for language and sexual references and stuff
With eyes of fire,
He sees himself as a facilitator,
Rather than a meddler . It lays in ruins at his feet
And he knows he will be the one to re-unite it.
Claustrophobia sets in.
Too many sensations...
And not enough light...
~Bekah B. ~
The room smelled like wetness and memories. Memories of a dream that lingered through the day and into the proceeding night. Writhing it's way gradually into one's consciousness until it was all that one could find himself thinking of.
That was how Shigure felt. That was how he had felt for almost four days now. The others worried. Even Kyou. They all knew that Shigure couldn't just bounce back and pretend that it had never happened. He was simply handling the pain in a slightly different way. It was true, they all had their own ways of fighting the grief. Kyou refused to budge from the roof. No amount of the horrid rain could move him. He didn't even bother to retreat for some of the food that Tohru was spilling her tears into making. Her own method of calming herself. It was thought, for a few moments, that Kyou had already filled his stomach with Yuki in his rat form. But no, Yuki was coping as well. Planting... And watering to no end... When Aiya arrived to console Shigure, he thought for sure that his baby brother was watching those very plants grow. And Aiya only made things worse. He tried so very hard to envelop Shigure in memories past of spring days painted with her smile, and how hours later, her hair and skin still smelled like the blooming flowers. More tears fell, and Aiya was shooed away from the house. Hatori stood as a silent observer, monitoring Rhea's progression, and she was in fact, improving. No such luck for the inu. His sorrow saddened Momiji, and even Hatsuharu, who had been particularly gleeful with his new girlfriend. Kisa came to cheer up Tohru and sat quietly as usual as Shigure bawled and sobbed into his tea. Ritsu appologized for his loss... repeatedly. Then appologized more when Shigure took offense at Rhea' accident being called a loss. Just when the Sohma world was beginning to collapse upon them, Hatori arrived with good news. Rhea had woken and was capable of speech. The family rushed to visit her and shower her in gifts and hugs. All, except for Shigure.
I could not stand to see your face again. Dear...dear Rhea. My beloved, I wish that I had the courage to confront you, but I simply do not. All such abilities are gone from me. Washed away with the rain. Drowned in the flood. I wish I could say that the same was not true with regards to my love for you... but I fear that it may be. I could not push away that fear of causing you more pain. They will all hate me for it. But what hurts me most is that you will hate me for it...I'm sorry Rhea.
*
"What will you do", Shigure Sohma." Hatori asked gently. "You cannot avoid her forever."
"I will try. And if that fails, than I shall leave." Shigure declare, his tears gone, but the pain greater.
"You're a coward." the dragon spat. "The least you can do is tell her how you fear to touch her fragile skin."
"My voice may shatter her bones." Shigure heaved.
"No. What will break her is your absence from her when she needs you most of all." Hatori slid his tea mug around the table in the moisture it had created.
"I am taking you to her tomorrow, so I advise that you clean yourself up a bit." Hatori stood and began to leave.
"I pale in comparison to a being such as she." Shigure slid his finger through the wetness left on the wood. "But I will go."
"Good Gure, I am glad for you. You have realized what you must do then?" Hatori cracked his first smile in days.
"No, I just wanted to make you shut up." Shigure sighed and retreated to his room. The dragon left, and returned the next morning.
Just as Shigure had promised, he was clean and presentable, although just as depressed as the day before. Hatori drug the reluctant inu to his vehicle and shut him in the passenger's seat.
Both Sohma's remained silent during the half hour trip to the hospital.
Returned again to the crisp sterile air that bothered one's lungs to breathe.
Rhea sat silently in her bed, reading a novel entitled 'King Lear' by Shakespeare.
Without looking up from her book to see who had come to visit, she recited:
Then they for sudden joy did weep, And I for sudden sorrow sung, That such a king should play bo-peep And go the fools amoung.
"Look who I brought to see you today, Rhea." Hatori told the frail figure.
She answered in rhyme once again.
That lord that counseled thee And give away thy land, Come place him here by me; Do thou for him stand. The sweet and bitter fool Will presently appear: The one in motley here, The other found out there.
"Whose book is that?" Hatori asked.
"Hmm? Oh yes, the book. A small dark-haired boy came to visit me last night, after hours, and gave this to me. He said to read it and then I will better understand the role of a fool in this world." Her cracked lips pursed in a gentle smile. "It's a really interesting book, it is, although I don't yet understand what that little boy meant. Such beautiful blue eyes he had ."
"Did you know this boy?" the dragon asked as he took a seat.
"No, I don't. That's what perplexes me though. I feel as if I do. When he first entered, all was dark, and I felt an odd fear in the pit of my stomach. Then there was this strange light, and he sat down next to me, and gave me the book. I thought there had been awkward music as well, but when I listened for it, it went away. I had thought the next morning, that I had hallucinated all of it, but I rolled over, and there was the book on my nightstand. "She scratched her head, then turned to Shigure. "It sure is nice to see you here, Shi. Aiya told me that you were very busy, and couldn't come right away. Thank you for finding time right now."
Shigure nodded, and sat beside her.
"Are you feeling better?" He asked in a wispy voice.
"Why yes, very much so. The doctors say that I can go home in less than a week, and that there isn't anything wrong with me that won't go away. Isn't that great?" She grinned.
"Wonderful..." Shigure whispered and turned away.
Chapter Two- Flooding my Senses The Second of Three- Hurting the One I Loved
By Miroku ai
Rated- PG-13 for language and sexual references and stuff
With eyes of fire,
He sees himself as a facilitator,
Rather than a meddler . It lays in ruins at his feet
And he knows he will be the one to re-unite it.
Claustrophobia sets in.
Too many sensations...
And not enough light...
~Bekah B. ~
The room smelled like wetness and memories. Memories of a dream that lingered through the day and into the proceeding night. Writhing it's way gradually into one's consciousness until it was all that one could find himself thinking of.
That was how Shigure felt. That was how he had felt for almost four days now. The others worried. Even Kyou. They all knew that Shigure couldn't just bounce back and pretend that it had never happened. He was simply handling the pain in a slightly different way. It was true, they all had their own ways of fighting the grief. Kyou refused to budge from the roof. No amount of the horrid rain could move him. He didn't even bother to retreat for some of the food that Tohru was spilling her tears into making. Her own method of calming herself. It was thought, for a few moments, that Kyou had already filled his stomach with Yuki in his rat form. But no, Yuki was coping as well. Planting... And watering to no end... When Aiya arrived to console Shigure, he thought for sure that his baby brother was watching those very plants grow. And Aiya only made things worse. He tried so very hard to envelop Shigure in memories past of spring days painted with her smile, and how hours later, her hair and skin still smelled like the blooming flowers. More tears fell, and Aiya was shooed away from the house. Hatori stood as a silent observer, monitoring Rhea's progression, and she was in fact, improving. No such luck for the inu. His sorrow saddened Momiji, and even Hatsuharu, who had been particularly gleeful with his new girlfriend. Kisa came to cheer up Tohru and sat quietly as usual as Shigure bawled and sobbed into his tea. Ritsu appologized for his loss... repeatedly. Then appologized more when Shigure took offense at Rhea' accident being called a loss. Just when the Sohma world was beginning to collapse upon them, Hatori arrived with good news. Rhea had woken and was capable of speech. The family rushed to visit her and shower her in gifts and hugs. All, except for Shigure.
I could not stand to see your face again. Dear...dear Rhea. My beloved, I wish that I had the courage to confront you, but I simply do not. All such abilities are gone from me. Washed away with the rain. Drowned in the flood. I wish I could say that the same was not true with regards to my love for you... but I fear that it may be. I could not push away that fear of causing you more pain. They will all hate me for it. But what hurts me most is that you will hate me for it...I'm sorry Rhea.
*
"What will you do", Shigure Sohma." Hatori asked gently. "You cannot avoid her forever."
"I will try. And if that fails, than I shall leave." Shigure declare, his tears gone, but the pain greater.
"You're a coward." the dragon spat. "The least you can do is tell her how you fear to touch her fragile skin."
"My voice may shatter her bones." Shigure heaved.
"No. What will break her is your absence from her when she needs you most of all." Hatori slid his tea mug around the table in the moisture it had created.
"I am taking you to her tomorrow, so I advise that you clean yourself up a bit." Hatori stood and began to leave.
"I pale in comparison to a being such as she." Shigure slid his finger through the wetness left on the wood. "But I will go."
"Good Gure, I am glad for you. You have realized what you must do then?" Hatori cracked his first smile in days.
"No, I just wanted to make you shut up." Shigure sighed and retreated to his room. The dragon left, and returned the next morning.
Just as Shigure had promised, he was clean and presentable, although just as depressed as the day before. Hatori drug the reluctant inu to his vehicle and shut him in the passenger's seat.
Both Sohma's remained silent during the half hour trip to the hospital.
Returned again to the crisp sterile air that bothered one's lungs to breathe.
Rhea sat silently in her bed, reading a novel entitled 'King Lear' by Shakespeare.
Without looking up from her book to see who had come to visit, she recited:
Then they for sudden joy did weep, And I for sudden sorrow sung, That such a king should play bo-peep And go the fools amoung.
"Look who I brought to see you today, Rhea." Hatori told the frail figure.
She answered in rhyme once again.
That lord that counseled thee And give away thy land, Come place him here by me; Do thou for him stand. The sweet and bitter fool Will presently appear: The one in motley here, The other found out there.
"Whose book is that?" Hatori asked.
"Hmm? Oh yes, the book. A small dark-haired boy came to visit me last night, after hours, and gave this to me. He said to read it and then I will better understand the role of a fool in this world." Her cracked lips pursed in a gentle smile. "It's a really interesting book, it is, although I don't yet understand what that little boy meant. Such beautiful blue eyes he had ."
"Did you know this boy?" the dragon asked as he took a seat.
"No, I don't. That's what perplexes me though. I feel as if I do. When he first entered, all was dark, and I felt an odd fear in the pit of my stomach. Then there was this strange light, and he sat down next to me, and gave me the book. I thought there had been awkward music as well, but when I listened for it, it went away. I had thought the next morning, that I had hallucinated all of it, but I rolled over, and there was the book on my nightstand. "She scratched her head, then turned to Shigure. "It sure is nice to see you here, Shi. Aiya told me that you were very busy, and couldn't come right away. Thank you for finding time right now."
Shigure nodded, and sat beside her.
"Are you feeling better?" He asked in a wispy voice.
"Why yes, very much so. The doctors say that I can go home in less than a week, and that there isn't anything wrong with me that won't go away. Isn't that great?" She grinned.
"Wonderful..." Shigure whispered and turned away.