by Lethe
Chapter Nine: Understanding
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This chapter was kind of hard to write. ^__^;; It just didn't feel right. I just can't get into Kaiba's mind easily.
Ah well! I hope that you like it! Please review!
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Seto touched his lips again lightly, disbelievingly.
"He really did. He…"
He kissed me.
I thought that Jono - no, Jou – hated me. Then he asked…
"Can we be friends?"
Why did he kiss me?
Why did it make me feel so…
…so warm?
Droplets of water were falling upon the keyboard.
I'm crying. Why?
When Jou kissed me, I felt warm.
I was glad.
But, a few weeks ago, I didn't like him at all.
He turned away from the computer and stood up awkwardly.
This is why I never liked crying. It blurs your vision. I can't see.
It's like love.
Kaiba smiled bitterly. Not that I would know from experience.
The only person who ever liked me was Mokuba.
I was never accepted. No one ever asked me, "Can we be friends?"
Why did Jonouchi?
Kaiba remembered watching Yugi ask his friend Anzu to 'go out with him'. The girl had seemed so thrilled. And what had happened after that…
It was a good thing that the restaurant was almost completely empty.
No one ever wanted that from me. No, all they wanted was to be away from me.
They were afraid of me.
I just couldn't open up to anyone other than my brother.
I never tried, either. I always had something else, something better to do. I even neglected the one person who did accept me in order to do those things.
Other people think I'm smart.
But I'm not, not really.
Damn tears.
I'm an idiot, just like the rest of them.
But, Jonouchi… you tried.
You made me feel like I was a better person, somehow. Even though I scorned you at first, you were still willing to forgive me.
You even apologized to me for what you had done.
You did nothing wrong! I was the one at fault.
The room was still blurred. Seto sat back down. That's right, Kaiba, keep on crying, keep on crying like some whimpering kid.
I never admitted these thoughts before.
The warmth that I felt whenever I saw Jonouchi, whenever I was near him. The way my heart pounded just a little bit faster when he said my name.
And then Seto understood.
What he had wanted…
…was for Jonouchi to kiss him again.
He had wanted it more than anything.
I love him.
Seto had known it all along, but had never wanted to acknowledge the truth to himself.
"So why did you change your mind about Jonouchi?"
To tell the truth, Seto wasn't really sure. Jonouchi was still the same person that he had always been.
The change had been in Kaiba.
No one ever wanted that from me. No, all they wanted was to be away from me.
Jonouchi was different from everyone else. He had reached out to Kaiba, even after all the cruel things said and done between them.
Perhaps what I wanted to do was to show that I really could reach back.
And I will.
"Computer," he said briskly.
"Yes?"
"Find me…" Seto brushed away his tears. "Find me the phone number of Jonouchi Katsuya."