The Healing Properties of Roots Pt. 2

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Harry quietly shut the door behind him. He slowly walked down the hall and silently stepped down the stairs. He sat down in the stairwell and slipped his head into his hands. His breath was getting heavy.  Calm, he thought to himself. Just be calm.

A sudden burst of raised voices intruded his thoughts.

"Now, really, Severus, personal attacks are a little low, aren't they?" Arthur Weasley's voice traveled up the stairs.
"It was not an attack, Arthur," Snape said, sounding bored. "Merely a comment."

"Actually, it was a question," Tonks quipped.

A door opened, and Harry heard footsteps in the hall downstairs, nearing him.

"Remus, don't you pay him any mind."

"I'm not, Molly. I'm just getting something to eat."

"Using food as a distraction, Lupin? You should watch that habit. You may find yourself growing portly in your old age."

"Severus!"

"Despite my lycanthropy, Severus," came Lupin's voice coolly, "I have maintained a healthy body and a positive mindset. I will not allow myself to become a galling, loveless, crusty man." He paused. " Like you."

"Oh, honestly!" Mrs. Weasley boomed.

"Really, you're both acting like children," Tonks said tersely.

"I have no interest in theatrics," Snape said shortly. "I'll be on my way."

Harry crept down the stairs until he was at the landing. Everyone was standing in the hall, shooting death stares at each other.

"Very well, Severus," Mr. Weasley was apparently attempting to make peace. "Have a safe journey."

"I shall. Though I will be plagued by the mystery of Lupin's absent answer to my inquiry."

Lupin mumbled something from the kitchen.

"What was that?" Snape looked surprised.

"I said I don't even remember what you said, Severus."

Harry stepped into the hall. Tonks noticed him immediately and smiled, looking a bit strained. "Harry, do you want something?"

"Just going to the kitchen…"

"I simply asked, Lupin," Snape said sharply, his arms folded and his eyes narrowed, "if you believed you had the skill now to concoct your own potions, instead of running to me every month. I have other things to do with my time."

"I'm sure I can do it, thank you, Severus. Your sacrifice has been great indeed."
"I agree. I'll have you know my lesson plans have been cut over the last several months in order to find the time to brew the Wolfsbane, and I would fear my class would suffer for it, if they were not already failing miserably." He glanced at Harry.

Lupin appeared at the kitchen door, weary and tired. "Is that all?"

"Actually," Snape's lip began to curl into one of his poison smiles, "I was wondering how that job interview went. At St. Mungo's?"

Harry looked at Lupin, who stared blankly ahead.

"I… why, Severus?"

"Just a question, between old friends."

Tonks snorted. Mrs. Weasley gently slapped her arm.

"It was fine, Severus, thank you for asking. I probably won't get it, because I am, after all, a threat to society, as I'm sure you were waiting to point out. So if that's what you're waiting to hear, be done with it. You're a relatively normal physical being, you have a decent job, and you're about to leave this house."

A pause followed. Mr. Weasley was starting to look ill, and Harry had the distinct impression he was uncomfortable with confrontations.

"Envy me, Lupin?" Snape said quietly. "I suppose even in its most mediocre state, normalcy is something you strive for, only to always be just out of reach."

Harry felt a familiar surge of rage rise in him. Tonks sharply raised her hand to Harry's shoulder, as though she suspected he would attack Snape. He looked at Lupin, whose eyes had just hardened.

"Do I envy you?" Lupin said in a harsh tone Harry had never heard him use before.

Snape raised his left eyebrow slightly, as if mildly interested in what Lupin had to say.

"Why, yes, Severus, I do envy you. Do you want to know why?"

Snape didn't move.

"Because," Lupin continued in that same rough voice, "you have shrouded yourself in this ridiculous pain since you were a child. You are immune to it. Because you don't know what it feels like to stand by helpless while those you love fall around you. Because some among whom you once considered friends are in Azkaban for horrendous deeds, and you know their guilt for certain." And, for the first time since Harry had met him, Lupin's voice broke in what sounded very much like a loss of control.

Snape's left eyebrow raised slightly more and a ghost of a sneer began to appear on his mouth. "Do you really expect me to stand here and be insulted, Lupin? Or," he added in his soft, dangerous voice, "do you expect me to apologize for your pains?"

"I don't expect you to do anything of the sort." Lupin sounded a bit more stable now. "I don't want you to be insulted, nor do I want your sympathy. I want you to be aware, Severus, of your good fortune. And for god's sakes, to appreciate it."

"My good fortune?" Snape's eyes glinted maliciously and he moved slowly closer to Lupin. "What do you know of my good fortune? My past choices will continue to haunt me, Lupin, until the day I die. Not what was thrust on me, not what I was given to contend with, but what I chose."

"A life of bitterness and self-loathing seems only too apt, Severus," Lupin said dryly.

Snape's hand twitched. "Carrying on Black's legacy, are we? Very well. It only proves how expendable he truly was - his friends can copy him so completely, it was rather redundant to have the real thing around."

Tonks' grip on Harry's shoulder suddenly tightened and out of the corner of his eye he could see her face slacken. His own heart had started thumping loudly, and he fought to stop the shaking that had begun to course in his body.

"You disliked Sirius," Lupin said quietly, "and I know you don't grieve him, but please don't denounce him in the presence of people who loved him just because I said something childish to vex you." He paused. "There's no point in speaking ill of him. Especially not in front of Harry."

Harry looked at Lupin. It was the first time since Harry had entered the room that Lupin had acknowledged him.

"I didn't realize Potter was so delicate. My mistake."

"Harry's as delicate as every other human being," Lupin straightened himself. "Including yourself." He turned and walked steadily out of the hall and up the stairs.

Mrs. Black stared silently after him.