AN- Whoot! I'm now on the third chapter. I'm still trying to piece together what exactly I'm doing next in the story, only I'm at a standpoint... um, writer's block... Enjoy!

Loving Vash- Chapter 3

Vash's bachelor party... was anything but normal. There were many, how you say, "surprises" at the event. Meryl had not attended the gathering, but oh, if she had...

-The Bachelor Party-

In the Planet Bar was about ten people, all of which were men Vash had encountered over the course of his life. Frank Marlon, Badwick (he preferred not to use his last name, due to issues with parents), Kaite, Brilliant Dynamites Neon (who, for safety reasons, used the name Trent), Julius, "Grim Reaper" Bostock, and several other men who had been at local bars when Vash had happened to blow in.

"I know! Let's make a toast to the... uh, bride!" cheered one drunken man, holding a glass of beer high in the air.

"Ha ha! I'm not a bride... I'm a... um... what was it... GROOM!" Vash laughed, his face red and his brain stupid. He had already downed two glasses and one pitcher of beer, and he was plotzed.

"One free beer for everyone in this room! On me, Granny!" Vash screamed girlishly, his traditional tie dawned around his head. Vash was beginning to sweat heavily, and the bar patrons realized it. However, no one wanted to ruin Vash's night by revealing it to him.

"Hey! Does that include me, Tongari?"

Vash's head turned around, his eyes setting themselves upon the very sight he had missed for what seemed like an eternity. Clad in black, smoking a cigarette, and leaning his weight on a gigantic cross- was none other than Vash's best friend and biggest critic- Nicholas D. Wolfwood.

"Oh... Wolfwood? That you?" Vash stumbled toward the priest. He poked Wolfwood's arm, flicked him in the forehead, then slapped him.

"Wolfy! IT IS YOU! Where ya been? We thought you... uh, died," Vash's words were slurred. Then, in his drunken stupor, he hugged his friend.

"Tongari! What the hell are you doing?" Wolfwood gave up, letting Vash continue his hug. When Vash finally did move away, his eyes were filled with tears, allowing them to fall freely down his face.

"Where have you been? We missed you so much..." Vash stopped and sniffled. "We thought you were dead, we were horrified!"

"I..." Wolfwood lost his voice. "I had to take care of business."

"So that's why we never found a body," Vash said, with his drunkenness seeming to fade away. "Wait until Milly hears! Oh man! She'll be so relieved!"

Wolfwood grinned, glad Vash hadn't thought to ask what exactly the business Wolfwood had to take care of was. "Are you sure she'll remember me?"

"Yeah!"

"OK then," Wolfwood said, sitting himself down at a table. He realized that Vash, so drunk was he, didn't realize how angry Milly or Meryl were going to be- or how upset Vash himself would be after discovering the news in a sober state. "Anyway Vash- why are you here?"

"Oh... my gosh, Wolf. I haven't told you? Wow, that's pretty weird." Vash slumped an arm over Wolfwood. "Me and Meryl- da insurance girly- we gettin' married!"

"You and Meryl? That's great! I always knew you had feelings for her." Wolfwood patted Vash's arm, winking. "You guys belong together."

Vash chuckled drunkenly. "I know! Wanna hear a sexy secret about my Meryl?"

Wolfwood played along. "Yeah! Tell your ol' pal Wolfwood..."

"Between you and me- Meryl likes it when I strip down to nuthin' at all and I dance egyptian style." Vash raised an eyebrow. "Great, huh?"

Wolfwood looked as though he was about to throw up. "I really, really didn't need to hear that, Tongari. And besides, I thought it was about Meryl."

"Nah. I changed it. Don't worry... about it." Vash got up dizzily, only to drop to the ground.

"Oh... lord."

Wolfwood slung the passed-out Vash over his shoulder, despite the extreme pressure it left on him. "Ow... ow... ow... ow... ow... ow..."

He wandered around town for a while- before spotting Meryl in the window of a small cottage. He slumped toward the house, and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" called a voice angrily.

"Heh heh, good ol' Meryl..." Wolfwood mumbled quietly. "Hey! This is your one-and-only handy priest, Nicholas D. Wolfwood!"

"What?!" gasped two women. Wolfwood could hear footsteps racing to the door.

The door swung open, revealing the two women Vash and Wolfwood cared about most. Milly's eyes lit up... while Meryl's became very dark.

"WOLFWOOD!" Milly squeezed Wolfwood as hard as she could, forcing Wolfwood to drop Vash on the ground. The first thing Wolfwood had noticed about Milly was that she had dropped all the formality in saying his name. He liked it.

"So... Wolfwood. Where do you think you've been for, oh say, the last few months?" Meryl's foot tapped impatiently on the wood porch.

"Uh... the remains of Augusta?" Wolfwood said stupidly.

"Well- I'm ready to here the story. And what the hell did you do to Vash?" Meryl questioned, moving with concern towards her fiancee.

"Nothing, he just passed out at the bar." Wolfwood paused. "Do I have to tell you the story now?"

"I'm waiting," Meryl repeated. "But if you must wait, tell us when you're ready." She trailed into the dwelling, dragging Vash behind her with difficulty.

Milly wrapped her arms around Wolfwood. "Sleep with me tonight."

Wolfwood nodded. "Sure."

-Later That Night-

"Meryl? You awake?" Vash hissed in the silence of the night.

"Arg... yes, I'm awake. What?"

"I had the weirdest dream," Vash said curiously. "Wolfwood had come back!" He paused, looking down. "Too bad it wasn't real. But man, if it had been real, I would've smacked Wolfwood around! He can't just abandon his friends like that!"

"Um, Vash? That... wasn't a dream. That really happened." Meryl crawled slowly away, expecting a huge outburst of anger to come from Vash.

"Yeah, right." Vash winked. "Good one."

"I'm not lying! Go look in Milly's room if you need proof."

Vash did as Meryl had instructed. He slowly cracked open the door, which revealed sounds of... how love is... expressed.

"OH GOD!" Vash screamed, covering his eyes and tumbling out into the middle of the hallway.

Wolfwood's head popped out from behind the door. "Tongari- what the hell?" He walked out into the hallway, a sheet surrounding his otherwise naked body. Milly's young voice could be heard mumbling in the background.

"Agh! Wolfwood, it is you!" At that moment, Vash didn't know whether to hit Wolfwood or to... well, be nice to him.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You knew I was here!"

Vash looked puzzled. "Um, no I didn't."

Wolfwood shook his head. "Man, you must've been really, really drunk at your party."

"You came during that?" asked Vash. "OK then."

"OK then? Tongari, you haven't seen me for months because you thought I was dead and that's all you can say?!"

"Uh... well yeah."

Wolfwood groaned. "Get some sleep then, all right?" Wolfwood turned back to the room.

"Wolfwood?"

The priest paused. "Yeah?"

Vash sat up. "Why'd you leave?"

Wolfwood paused, standing against the door. He didn't move an inch.

"Why?" repeated Vash.

"I'm not ready to tell you that yet, Tongari." He entered the room, becoming engulfed in the shadows. "So... wait, OK?"

-Two Weeks Later-

Vash rocked against the back of the wooden chair seated in front of the small table in the corner of the room. His feet tapped the rotting wall as pieces drifted onto the floor.

"Oh good... Vash? The test is negative." Meryl bustled out into the kitchen, going towards Vash. "No baby. Yet."

Vash wiped sweat off his head. "Whew, well. Even if it had been positive, I would've been relieved."

Meryl hugged Vash. "Anyway, where's Wolfwood?"

"He went out with Milly for dinner."

"Again?" Meryl asked, somewhat upset. "I was hoping one of them would make dinner, I'm so tired." She slumped down onto Vash's lap.

"He still hasn't told me."

Meryl turned her head upward toward Vash. "Told you what?"

"Why he left," Vash sighed. "I wanna know why he'd just abandon us like that. It's not fair."

Meryl gave a weak smile. "Maybe it might be better if we don't know for a while."

There was a long pause. Vash squeezed Meryl's ankle. "And besides, the wedding is next week."

"Yeah."

Vash purred. "Where do you wanna go for the honey moon?"

Meryl smiled. "Anywhere."

"How about... on a sand-steamer trip. It'll be nice." Vash rolled his head back, relaxing. "The tickets are cheap this time of the year."

Meryl nodded. "Sounds nice. Seems odd that we haven't made those plans those." She smiled.

"OK, I'll call them tomorrow." Vash stood up, lifting Meryl off his lap and set her back on her feet gently. "We should get to bed."

-The Next Day-

"Wolfwood, where the heck'd you put my boots?!" Vash screeched angrily, stomping around the cottage like a mad man. "I was going to go with Meryl to get some groceries and I can't go if I can't wear my boots!"

A loud groan escaped Wolfwood. "Ugh... for the last freakin' time, Vash, I didn't mess with your boots!"

Vash screamed.

Meryl hurried into the room. "Vash, what the hell? What's up?" She took him by the arms and stared at him. "Don't be so loud."

"But- but- I can't go shopping with you without any shoes! Meryyyylll!" Vash continued to throw a tantrum. "Uggghhh...!"

Wolfwood groaned again. He was still in bed, curled up with two large hands (his own) holding a pillow against his aching head. "Shut up, Vash!"

Vash whined loudly. "I... want... to... go... with... Meryl... SHOPPING! So Wolfwood, help me find my boots!"

"No!" Wolfwood called back.

"Dammit you two, stop bickering!" Meryl's harsh-toned voice rang out through the cottage.

Vash squealed in an upset version of his girlish voice. "But Meryl... UGH!" Vash dropped to the floor, and began sobbing.

"OK," Meryl moaned, placing her hands on her hips. "Now you're just being pathetic and whiny. And you're being a baby."

Vash sniffled. "I'm... not a baby, I'm sad! I wanna go with you!" Vash wiped his arms on his white shirt.

Wolfwood could be heard chuckling from his bedroom.

"Vash," Meryl said quietly. "You can go with. I have your boots in the closet, I just remembered. Now will you please stop being a baby?"

Vash sat up. "Sounds good."

-At the Grocery Store-

Meryl pushed open the wooden door, allowing her and Vash to enter the building.

"Ooh! Meryl, let's get donuts and candy! Please! Please! Please!" Vash hopped up and down.

"Stop acting like a buffoon and I'll let you get some," Meryl said. "But first we gotta get the essentials, OK?"

Vash nodded. They headed towards the meat section.

"G'evenin', ma'am and sir, what can I do fer ya?" asked the butcher, who stood behind the counter. "Any pork? Cow? Thomas meat?" He laughed heartily, his chest rising and falling. "I'm jus' jokin'."

"Um, can we get-"

"Pork, turkey, and some cow? Thanks a bunch, mister!" Vash chirped, after reading Meryl's list which she still held in her hands.

"All right! Coming up!" The butcher prepared the meat and returned several minutes later. "That totals to about six double dollars."

"Thank you," Meryl said, handing over the money. She was beginning to think she should send Vash shopping more often.

They reached the sweets section. Meryl had dreaded this moment, as Vash had a huge sweet tooth.

"Ooh! Meryl! How about ten boxes of donuts? And three bags of-"

"Vash, one box of donuts and one bag of candy. Got it?"

Vash sighed loudly. "Well, can I at least have a candy bar for the way home?"

"OK, that I can deal with. Let's go."

AN- Rather short chapter again, at least by my first chap. standards. Anyway, I'm going to skip the wedding part and go right to the honey moon. Unless there are requests, which there won't be because no one reads this crappy-ass fic anyway. XD Love&Peace!