Disclaimer:I don't own anything! I'm a fan, please don't sue me, it wouldn't be worth your time.
A/N: Okay, who else thought this chapter sucked? *sees tons of hands and a few feet* Yeah, I thought so. Well, I like to think I'm a better writer now, so I'm going to try to rewrite this chapter for the simple fact that if I stumbled across this story and read the first chapter I wouldn't read anymore. So I do have an amount of respect for you guys that words cannot describe. But I can't make anymore innocent people suffer. It's just wrong. This chapter may not be as long, or it might be. But if I can't make it better then it won't be as long, because then at least people don't have to suffer for as long. Plus it really needs to be shortened a little. The first section alone is long enough to be a chapter. I don't know. I'm not sure how I'm going to write it. Sigh. I guess I have to start be skimming it. I'll just keep in mind that it won't suck so much when I'm done. Hehe, and no one might even read it! How funny to think that I'm suffering for nothing. Oh well, I'll at least know there's no evidence that my writing sucked this bad at one time. And no more "eachother" it is now "each other." Thanks again for that. Oh, but sorry, she's keeping the bracelet. It was supposed to be a fair well gift and ...I'm the writer and I said so. More like my mother every day.
V**New Readers**V
Hi, welcome to ... dah dah dah, keep hands and feet outside the computer screen and please remain seated at all times. I promise that throwing things at your screen will not get to me. People have tried already. I have yet to be hit by anything though. So it doesn't work. I'm sure someday it will, but today is not that day. My reason for writing this is I wanted to say that this first chapter isn't good. The second one isn't great. But after that it does get better, so don't completely quit reading. And I write so much better now, there's better banter and it's more in character. So hold on tight. Be patient. it will get better and you just might like it. Thanky!
Time:The writers have messed the Literati romance up since they REALLY got together so I time warped again! This story picks up after the end of Haunted Leg. After Rory and Jess' confrontation in Doose's.
*
I sat on my bed thinking, that was not how anything was supposed to happen. First with Dad, then with Jess. Jess and I weren't supposed to blow up at each other. We had a great friendship before. On my part it was mostly jealousy, I'm not sure what his reason was, but I wish we could have done that differently. I really shouldn't be with Dean anymore. It was Jess that I came home wanting to see, so even though I can't have Jess because he's with that blonde, I still shouldn't be with Dean. And it's my own fault that Jess didn't wait for me, how stupid was I? A much welcomed tap on my window interrupts my thoughts. I got up and went to my window, I drew back the curtains. Jess. It was 11:00, why would he be here? One way to find out, I thought, opening my window.
"Jess. Is everything okay?" I asked, not sure of why he was here, I thought he hated me.
"Yeah. Look, I know I'm the last person on Earth that you want to see." he started.
"Well, not the LAST person." I corrected. I definitely wanted to see Dad less. And ... a three headed monster, so not the last.
"Well, I just wanted to come to say good bye, and also to bring you this." He pulled out a little box.
"Good bye?" I frowned.
"Yeah. I'm going to tell Luke in the morning. I'm going back to New York," he said. "And this time I'm not coming back."
I felt my heart and face fall. "Why?" I asked weakly.
"Why not?" he asked, like he had no reason to stay. "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you good bye first because I didn't last time so..."he trailed off.
"Why are you leaving?" I asked again.
"Why would you care? I have no reason to stay." His usually unreadable eyes showed a glint of hopelessness.
"Yes, you do," I argued. "What about the people who care about you here? Or the people you care about."
He shook his head. "Like who? No one cares about me here."
"Like Luke and your friends and..." I struggled with the last name. "Shane."
He scoffed. "Yeah right. Shane is...well nothing to me, and the feeling's pretty much mutual. And as for friends, maybe you don't remember, but I don't really have anybody who wants to be my friend." he said.
"Yeah, you do," I said.
"Look, Ror, I have to go. Bye." He went to turn and leave.
"Wait!" I found my voice. I grabbed his hand off my window seal. "Don't go. Can you come in?" I asked.
He stared at his hand in mine for a second like he was fighting an internal battle. "I...I really should...go now." he faltered.
"Come on, just come in. We'll talk." I offered hoping he would agree. Now was the time to be persistent.
"Well, okay." he finally gave in.
I walked over to shut and lock my door. I didn't care if she was asleep, she hated him with a passion.
He shut my window, and never moved from that spot.
"Okay, now why don't you have a reason to stay? And what do you have in New York that would make being there better than being here?" I asked sensibly. I hadn't yet realized that this was a feeling problem, not a sensibility problem.
"Rory, nobody wants me here." he said.
"I want you here." I said without even thinking.
He looked slightly surprised. "Why? You have Dean. And don't worry, I'm sure some other guy will play the game. That's what I was, right? It was nice to have somebody caring about you that wasn't your boyfriend." he said, raw resentment present in his voice.
I hadn't realized that I had hurt him, but apparently I did. That hurt to hear. "How could you think that you were just a game to me? That is so so not true," I said with loads of sincerity.
"No?" he asked, not sure if should believe me or not.
"No. Is that one of the reasons you think you don't have? You do. You have it. If that's what you want, I'll break up with Dean tomorrow," I said truthfully. It wasn't actually that great of a sacrifice considering I wasn't not in love with Dean anymore.
He looked relatively shocked."You'd do that? Just so I wouldn't leave?" he asked.
"Yes. I will do that. Just please don't leave. I don't want you to leave," I said. "I'd miss you," I added quietly as I glanced at my hands.
Before I could say anything else, he kissed me. I, of course, kissed him back. He broke the kiss."I'm sorry, I just-" I interrupted with a kiss.
When I broke the kiss I smiled and said, "Don't be." He smiled in return and touched my face.
"I'll stay," he said simply, causing my face to light up. "Here." he handed me the little box.
I took it and opened it, inside was a sterling silver bracelet with a silver heart. I smiled and took it out.
"I wanted you to have it because I thought of you when I saw it." he explained.
I took my left wrist and pulled the bracelet that Dean gave me off and tossed it over by my closet door. I took the bracelet that Jess gave me and he helped me put it on. "It's beautiful," I said. "Thank you." I hugged him to say thanks. Then I kissed him, we continued to kiss for several minutes. When we finally broke the kiss, again he said, "I'm sorry." This puzzled me, because I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. He was confusing me.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I shouldn't have done that."
"What shouldn't you have done?" I asked, hoping he didn't mean kissing me.
"I shouldn't have come here and basically told you I'm leaving if you don't break up with your boyfriend," he clarified.
I frowned. "That's not what happened," I said.
"Yes it is. I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to pressure you like that. I didn't plan to do that," he said sincerely.
I smiled. "Jess, you didn't pressure me into anything. If you wouldn't have been with Shane I would have broken up with Dean as soon as I got home," I assured him.
"Oh. I didn't know that. Then I'm sorry for saying that you were playing games with me," he said.
"Forgiven. I'm sorry for leaving without saying anything to you." I said.
He smiled. "Forgiven."
He then leaned in and kissed me. I liked when he did that. When he broke the kiss, I looked into his eyes and saw love. Strong love. The kind of love that people spend their whole lives wanting. I felt it and now I knew he did too. I could see it. I kissed him again. I felt sparks when we kissed. We were kissing for probably 10 minutes just completely lost in the embrace, I had my arms wrapped securely around his neck, he had one arm on my back, one around my waist. I let go of his neck and slipped his jacket off. We kissed for just a few more seconds and he broke away.
"Jess?" I said quietly.
"Yeah?" he said just as quietly, smiling as he looked into my eyes rubbing my face.
I looked directly into his eyes, which I was slightly nervous to do, "Will you make love to me?"
He looked surprised, but as usual he hid it well. He leaned in and kissed me, "Are you sure?" he asked.
"Yes, I am," I answered, comforted by his soft tone.
He looked a little strained, but continued,"I don't want you to do something that you'll regret. I care way too much about you. you're not ... you're you. I don't want to rush you into something that you're not ready for. If you don't want to, or you're not ready, we don't have to do this," he assured me.
"I'll never regret this. And I know that you wouldn't pressure me. I couldn't trust you more."
He smiled and kissed me. This time we didn't break the kiss, we laid down and kept kissing. He finally did break the kiss. "If you change your mind and want me to stop, just tell me." he said.
I smiled and nodded at this practically useless information, I was not going to turn back now. I was nervous because I knew that he had done this before, and probably with girls that were far more experienced than me. I, on the other hand, had never done this before. He started kissing down my neck while I had my hands resting loosely on his back. He turned me so that I was lying flat on my back and he straddled me.
"You've never done this before, have you?" he asked, even though he probably already assumed it.
"No. Never," I answered.
"I know I'm a pest, but are you absolutely sure you want to do this?" he asked again.
I smiled, "You're not a pest, you're sweet. Jess, I want you to be my first," I assured him.
He smiled softly and ran his hand down my face again."Okay." He took his shirt off and we started kissing again.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I woke up in his embrace and looked up sleepily to see him watching me sleep.
"Good morning." he said, giving me a kiss.
"Good morning." I said, beaming. I loved being in his arms. I felt so safe.
"How do you feel?" he asked.
"Fabulous, how do you feel?"
"Blessed actually," he answered.
"Really?" I asked wrapping my arms around him thinking about how lucky I am.
"Well, I woke up with an angel in my arms, how would you feel?" he smiled.
"See, I always knew you were sweet inside that bad boy exterior." I said, smiling, almost amused.
"Well, I don't know about sweet, now sappy is what I was thinking," he said laughing lightly.
I snuggled up closer to him,"Yes, you're sweet, and caring, and sensitive even though you'll never admit it. You're smart and amazing. I don't know what I did to deserve to be this lucky," I said.
"No, you're amazing, and I think you're way too good for me," he said, smiling.
"Hey mister, watch how you talk about my Dodger." I said, mock warningly.
"Well, I definitely am your Dodger," he replied.
"Mm, I like that."
"So, would it be all right if I considered you my girlfriend now?"
"Yes, I think that has a nice ring to it." I answered, smiling.
"Are you sure? Because I could always just consider you friendish."
I elbowed him with a smile. "Shut up."
"Nice way to talk to your friendish friend."
"No, my boyfriend who's being a brat."
"Rory, can I tell you something that I've never told anyone before?" he asked sincerely after a moment of comfortable silence.
"Most definitely." I answered seriously as I rested my head on his chest.
"I want to tell you that I love you," he said. "And I hope that as the day goes by you don't regret this."
"I love you, too," I replied after a second. "I knew you loved me, I could see it in your eyes. And trust me Jess, I promise you that I will never regret this. I love you and you're great and the only way i'll regret this is if you suddenly decide you won't give me coffee anymore," I added to lighten the mood.
"How do you do that?"
"Do what?" I asked.
"You make me feel so important, so special."
"That's very easy.You ARE special, and you're very, very important to me,"I said. "Also, I wish you could hold me forever, but I would also like to see you live. Now, I will take care of everything. I'll break it off with Dean, and I'll tell my mom about us, but this would probably not be the best way for her to find out," I said, smiling.
He smirked. "Yeah, you're probably right. What time is it?"
"Um," I looked at my alarm clock." It's 4:23." I answered.
"Uncle Luke will be getting up at five o' clock, so as long as I'm back before that time, he won't ask where I was. Of course when you tell your mother, it's likely that we'll hear her from the diner." he said.
"Yeah," I said imagining the worst. "That or she'll immediately call Luke and tell him to kill you a little before she gets there so as to prolong your pain. Or she could head over there and take you by surprise. But I'm hoping for the best. It is somewhat of a possibility that she'll be, well, not calm, but hopefully she won't flip too bad," I said.
"Okay, we'll hope for the best. As soon as you break up with bag boy, will you call me?"
"Why yes I will." I kissed him. "I love you," I said.
"I love you too, more than you know." He sighed." But I should really go. I hate to leave you though," he said, softly stroking my hair.
"I know, and I hate for you to leave. But we don't want to end up like Romeo and Juliet," I said.
"Nope, that would be bad." he said, "Plus, you've already been Juliet." He smiled.
"Yes, and you played Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet soundtrack." I remembered.
"Yes, I did. As bad as I hate to, I should go, because when Luke finds out, if I'm within a two mile radius, he'll probably kill me," he said.
"Yes, so you go home and get in bed and I'll try to warn you if Mom freaks out and goes to Luke's, because I wouldn't want a homicidal maniac getting a hold of my boyfriend," I said.
"Well, in that case, give me a heads up when you break up with Dean and, well, when Stars Hollow finds out, which most likely they will by the way. I'll have to run away if I want to live," he said with a smirk. "Wanna come with me?"
"Well, I don't care what they say. I can take castigation. If running is the last resort, I'll have to run with you, because in case you haven't noticed, I'm not great with the idea of you going anywhere," I said, smiling.
"I did notice. But I assure you, when I came over to say good bye, this is the absolute last thing that I ever expected. I was prepared for good riddance, or you slamming the window in my face or at best you saying good bye and that being the end of it."
"Well," I said as I ran my hand up his chest and around his face and through his hair." I think you underestimate how much I like you."
"Oh, now you just like me?" he teased.
"You know what I mean." I gave him a kiss.
"Stop doing that or I'm not leaving," he said, causing me to smile.
"I wouldn't have a problem with that, but several others might, my mom being at the top of that list."
He leaned in and we kissed for a minute or two. "Okay, I should be getting up now."
"Yes, you should." I agreed, but didn't move, I just used my finger to draw imaginary circles on his chest.
"Because I need to get there before Luke gets u,." he added, but still made no attempt to move.
"Yes, that is very true," I agreed.
"So, I should get up." he said again.
"Yes. I know you don't want to leave, but I will see you later. However in order for me to see you later, you have to continue living," I pointed out.
"That would probably help." he kissed me again."Okay, I'm really getting up this time."
"Okay." I kissed him once more. "Get up." I smiled.
"All right, all right. Trying to get rid of me?" he teased.
"Yes. Get up." I teased.
"Okay," he said. "You're mean, but I'm getting up."
"I have your best interest at heart."
"That and you want sleep."
I smiled. "Well, okay, that too. But I also want you to live and you only have 20 minutes until Luke gets up." I told him.
"Well then, can I have good bye kiss?"
"Of course." I pulled him back down on my bed and kissed him.
"We seem to be having a problem here," he said.
I kissed him again."Yes," I kissed him."You're right."
He kissed me one more time."Okay, now I'll go." He got back up and went over to unlatch the window. "Bye."
"Bye, I'll see you later," I said.
He smiled and climbed out my window.
I stayed where I was for a minute, looking at my bracelet and smiling. I couldn't stop thinking about how incredibly lucky I was. Everything was perfect and I loved waking up in his arms. As much as I hate mornings, if I had to wake up every morning at 4:30 as long as I got to wake up in his arms it would be worth it. I hated the fact that very soon I would have to face the rest of the world. I had to somehow break up with poor Dean, and I felt bad that I had only stayed with him to get back at Jess. How childish was that? But the hardest part is going to be telling Mom. She hated Jess, and she wouldn't stop blaming him for the accident. I loved Jess though, and she loved me and she wanted me to be happy, and Jess made me happy. Of course she would have liked me being happy with Dean much better. I knew that when I told her she'd probably freak. I mean, it's not like I expected her to run over there, put her arm around his shoulder and invite him to dinner, although other than the fact that she probably would've poisoned the food, it would've been nice. She wants me to be happy, she'll understand, I thought.
Who am I kidding? She's going to blow her top, smoke will come out of her ears and she'll turn all red like Elmer Fudd. This is not good. But I didn't do anything wrong. Okay, maybe I should have broken up with Dean first, that would have been the correct way of doing it. But it's not like I'm going to tell him, he'll never know. I hope.
It's not that I was ashamed of Jess and me, that wasn't it at all. I just didn't want to hurt Dean anymore than I already had. Of course if any one in Stars Hollow ever found out about this it would be horrible. I would probably be called a few of less than flattering names. Either that or they'd all blame Jess, neither one would be good. I decided on going to go to sleep and I'd face the world when I woke up. But I also got to see Jess, so somehow I knew everything would be fine. I got up and put my pajamas back on, then I unlocked my door and went back to bed.
"Hey babe. Get up sleepyhead! Momma needs coffee." Mom pecked on my arm.
"Hmm? What time is it?" I asked rolling over and standing up groggily.
"It's 9:30, time for coffee." she replied.
Coffee? Jess! I looked around, I hope it wasn't all a dream. It didn't seem real anymore, I felt like it was all just a dream. It had to be real. I looked at my wrist and smiled, it was real. "I need to talk to Dean." I said as I rubbed my eyes sleepily. Hey, 4:23's early, give me a break.
"Well hon, can you talk to loverboy after coffee?" she asked.
"No. I mean, yes, I mean, I don't know," I stammered. "I'm going to break up with him," I told her.
Her eyes widened. "Why?" she asked.
"Because our relationship has been over since before I left for Washington."
"Look honey, I know you kissed Jess, but maybe you should just take a day to think it over. You're probably still upset about last night." she said."I don't want you to make an irrational decision because you're upset."
Oh yeah, I kissed Jess all right, but what is she talking about? "Last night? Irrational decision?" I asked completely bewildered.
"Yes, Chris coming. All men are not awful, Dean falls directly under that category. You're upset about Chris and sweetie when you're upset you're not in your right mind," she said.
Oh shoot! I forgot about that. Now is definitely not a good time to tell her about Jess, because I need to convince her that I was in my right mind. "No Mom, I am in my right state of mind. I was last night, too. I'm seriously fine," I assured her.
She looked very unconvinced. "Just think about it over coffee, okay?" she asked.
I decided to humor her. "Fine. But my mind's made up. My heart's just not there," I said.
"Then where is it?" she asked.
Oh, I should have seen that one coming. With Jess. "Let's go get coffee," I said wanting to change the subject.
She eyed me suspiciously, "Interesting change of subject." she observed, "Very subtle."
"I'm gonna go get dressed, okay?"
"Oh, fine. Hurry, I need coffee," she said pouting as she walked out.
"Hey, ready for coffee?" Mom asked as I came out of the bathroom pulling my hair up in a pony tail. "Hey, hand me the phone, will you?"
"Okay." I grabbed the phone.
"I want to actually put it on the hook tod-" she stopped and stared towards my arm.
"Here." I pushed the phone at her not realizing what was wrong.
"Where's your bracelet and what is that?" she asked holding my wrist.
She took the phone in her other hand. "Mom, I told you. It's over. I'll be back" I ran to my room and grabbed Dean's bracelet and threw it in my purse. "Ready?" I asked upon my return.
"Where did you get that bracelet hon? It's pretty but where did it come from?"
I tried, but couldn't help smiling as I looked at it."Oh, someone gave this to me."
"Hmm, who gave it to you?" she asked.
"Um," I could never seem to lie to her."Why don't I tell you later, after coffee," I suggested.
She looked at me strangely,"Why won't you tell me now?" she asked.
"Well, I will. But maybe we should wait until-"
"Why won't you tell me now?" she interrupted me.
I was not going to get out of this, I bit my lip,"Okay, do you really-"
"I would really like to know, yes."
"Okay. It's from...Jess," I said.
She closed her eyes, probably to keep her head from exploding, then opened them again. "Jess?"
"Yes," I answered, not sure if I should say anymore. If I continued it would be highly unlikely that we would even
make it to the getting coffee.
"Why are you wearing a bracelet from Jess in place of Dean's?" she asked calmly.
"Okay, if you want to go into that, we should sit down for a couple minutes," I said.
"Oh, I definitely want to hear this."
We sat down on the couch. "Okay," I smiled slightly."Remember you love me and you want me to be happy. So, don't let your head implode, because I am happy," I started.
She half smiled. "Well yes, I do want you to be happy."
"Okay, hold on to that feeling. I had intended to tell you this later, but since you asked, Mom...I'm...in love with Jess." I said semi-cautious.
"Oh thank God!" she said puzzling me, but causing me to smile. "I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant, because that was definitely an introduction that could have very easily been used to say that. You scared me there." She held her chest with a relieved smile.
"Oh." I laughed uneasily. She could tell.
"Oh, you weren't finished," she realized,"Go on."
"I was not going to tell you- I am not telling you that I'm pregnant," I said to calm her.
"Well, that's a very good start, now for the but."
I really wasn't sure how to tell her the rest. I wish Jess were here with me."Well, Mom," I started chewing my lip. "Jess brought me this bracelet last night." I said rubbing the heart. I was really nervous now.Why couldn't I just tell her? I have no regrets.
"Well, since I didn't know Jess was here last night I'm guessing it was late."
"Well, yes, it was. I should have practiced this in a mirror," I said nervously.
"I think I pretty much know what you're trying to say. Jess came over here last night and he seduced you," she said much less calm as she stood up.
"Not true. Very very not true. That's not what happened Mom," I said, also standing up.
"Oh bull, you did exactly what I said. You acted irrationally because you were upset over your dad. And Jess came here and it worked out great, because you were upset and vulnerable and maybe you were clingy and Jess was there, so since you-"
"Mom, stop please!"I said forcefully, then calmed down."Jess didn't even know that I fought with my dad. He just came over to-" I stopped myself. That was stupid.
"To what?" she asked.
"Huh?" I asked hoping all would be forgotten.
"What did he come over for?"she asked again knowingly.
I couldn't think of a lie, plus if she found out that I was lying to her that would just be worse."He came over to say something and to give me this bracelet," I said vaguely.
"Now I know how my mother felt, a vague reason is forthcoming, because you just did that. What did he want to say, Rory?" She pressed,"You know I won't stop until you tell me."
"He came to say good bye," I said softly.
Her eyes widened."He's going somewhere?" she asked.
I didn't know how to reply. Not now would sound bad. "No."
"Well then why was he saying good bye if- Oh no," she said like she figured it out.
"What?" I asked, wanting to know what she was thinking. "What?" I asked again.
"All I can say is you better walk me through the evening here, because I really really don't like the way that sounded. Jess was going somewhere, but then he came to say good bye and- Did he give you an ultimatum?"
"No! Jeez! How could you- of course not."
"Well, walk me through the conversation here."
"He told me he was going back to New York and he wanted to tell me good bye first because he didn't tell me good bye last time. He hadn't even told Luke," I explained.
"Very convenient. Then what did you say?"
"I told him he couldn't go, he asked why, I said what about the people that care about him, the people that he cares about here."
"Ah, yes, like the blond girlfriend, whom I am assuming he was unfaithful to, which should tell you something about the kind of boyfriend he is." she said.
"He's a wonderful boyfriend, thank you very much, she's nothing to him, and she's not his girlfriend." I am, I thought.
I surprised her by how confident I sounded."Well, you could have fooled me," she said.
"I know but anyway he tried to leave the subject and our house, but I grabbed his hand and asked him to come in and talk. I wanted to talk him into stying,"I explained,"He didn't want to come in but he finally gave in and we talked. He said nobody wanted him here, I told him that I did. He looked a little surprised but then he told me he thought he was just a game to me,I was surprised by that piece of information, but told him it wasn't true. He told that he didn't have a reason to stay. I asked if Dean was one of those reasons he thought he didn't have, I told him that I would break up with him today which actually isn't that big of a sacrifice considering that I'm not in love with Dean and I am in love with Jess. But anyway, he was shocked, I mean if I would have had a feather I could have knocked him right over. He couldn't believe that I'd do that just to keep him here."
"Well, yeah. Because you want to give up your long relationship and your wonderful boyfriend,"she said enthusiastically, "for Jess." she finished plainly.
"Yep. I do. I love Jess and I wasn't going to let him walk out of my life again. Especially since I would only have to end a relationship that has already been over for a long time to keep him here," I said.
"Oh, that's all you had to do?" she asked sarcastically.
"Yes, that's all I had to do," I said, truthfully."What, do you think he came here and said sleep with me or I'm leaving? 'Cause that's how you're acting." I said,slightly annoyed.
"Well, I'm glad he didn't use those words,'cause that would be sad," she said rolling her eyes.
"That's so not what happened."
"Well, you did sleep with him, right?" she asked knowingly.
"Yes, I did," I confirmed after a small pause.
"And you did it so that he wouldn't leave, he told you he didn't have a reason to stay so I guess you thought you needed to give him one."
"No, you can't do that. You can't turn Jess into the bad guy."
"Are you really that blind Rory? He used you. He-"
"No! No he didn't. He loves me and I love him and I know you hate that."
"Do you hear yourself?" she asked.
"Yes, and I know I sound very much like a movie character in denial, but I'm not.You are wrong. I told him I'd break it of with Dean he told me he'd stay. That was the end of that story.Then he gave me the bracelet."
"So, how did he convince you to sleep with him?" she asked.
"He didn't. That's how far off you are. He does care about me, in fact he tried to talk me out of it several times."
"Yeah right."
"That's how I know he cares, other than him telling me." I said.
"Rory, sweetie, I know you think he cares, let me try to explain. He sees this beautiful, smart, sweet, innocent girl with a wonderful boyfriend who loves her and respects her. So he wants to see if he can lead her astray.Well, he did. The only thing is once you break up with Dean, wonderful, respectful, loving Dean, he wins."
"I want you to know that you're very incredibly wrong. Jess loves me and respects me and I'm not even going to waste my time being mad at you because I know it's not true. Jess isn't like that, you'll see,"I said calmly.
"I hate this. I don't want you to get hurt. But you're going to,because I can tell you're expecting him to, I don't know, be there. I don't want you to throw everything away just to see that you've become Shane. Nothing to him."
"I'm so close to getting mad at you. I'll never be Shane."
"Sweetie I hope you're right. But if Jess is who I think he is you're going to get hurt."
"He's not, you'll see. I need to call Dean."
"You said you were going to wait,"she reminded me quickly.
"I know, but I can't wait to prove you wrong. I can't do that with Dean still hanging."
"Rory," she pleaded. "What if I'm right?"
"You're not."
I dialed the familiar numbers. "Hello?"
"Dean?"
"Hi Rory," he answered.
"Hey, um could we meet?"
"Sure, is everything okay?"
"Well, we need to talk."
"Oh, that's not good."
"Where do you want to meet?" I asked, not disagreeing.
"In the center of town I guess." he said gloomily.
"Okay, see you there?"
"Yeah. See you in a few minutes."
"'Kay,bye."
"How do you know you're doing the right thing?" Mom asked.
"For one thing if Dean would've been leaving I could've said good bye. Don't worry, it'll be all right."
"I hope I'm wrong. I hope he doesn't get bored with you," she said.
I walked back over and grabbed my purse, then we silently headed out the door to Luke's.
*
A/N: Okay, the next chapter is waiting to be read. Please review!!!
A/N: Okay, who else thought this chapter sucked? *sees tons of hands and a few feet* Yeah, I thought so. Well, I like to think I'm a better writer now, so I'm going to try to rewrite this chapter for the simple fact that if I stumbled across this story and read the first chapter I wouldn't read anymore. So I do have an amount of respect for you guys that words cannot describe. But I can't make anymore innocent people suffer. It's just wrong. This chapter may not be as long, or it might be. But if I can't make it better then it won't be as long, because then at least people don't have to suffer for as long. Plus it really needs to be shortened a little. The first section alone is long enough to be a chapter. I don't know. I'm not sure how I'm going to write it. Sigh. I guess I have to start be skimming it. I'll just keep in mind that it won't suck so much when I'm done. Hehe, and no one might even read it! How funny to think that I'm suffering for nothing. Oh well, I'll at least know there's no evidence that my writing sucked this bad at one time. And no more "eachother" it is now "each other." Thanks again for that. Oh, but sorry, she's keeping the bracelet. It was supposed to be a fair well gift and ...I'm the writer and I said so. More like my mother every day.
V**New Readers**V
Hi, welcome to ... dah dah dah, keep hands and feet outside the computer screen and please remain seated at all times. I promise that throwing things at your screen will not get to me. People have tried already. I have yet to be hit by anything though. So it doesn't work. I'm sure someday it will, but today is not that day. My reason for writing this is I wanted to say that this first chapter isn't good. The second one isn't great. But after that it does get better, so don't completely quit reading. And I write so much better now, there's better banter and it's more in character. So hold on tight. Be patient. it will get better and you just might like it. Thanky!
Time:The writers have messed the Literati romance up since they REALLY got together so I time warped again! This story picks up after the end of Haunted Leg. After Rory and Jess' confrontation in Doose's.
*
I sat on my bed thinking, that was not how anything was supposed to happen. First with Dad, then with Jess. Jess and I weren't supposed to blow up at each other. We had a great friendship before. On my part it was mostly jealousy, I'm not sure what his reason was, but I wish we could have done that differently. I really shouldn't be with Dean anymore. It was Jess that I came home wanting to see, so even though I can't have Jess because he's with that blonde, I still shouldn't be with Dean. And it's my own fault that Jess didn't wait for me, how stupid was I? A much welcomed tap on my window interrupts my thoughts. I got up and went to my window, I drew back the curtains. Jess. It was 11:00, why would he be here? One way to find out, I thought, opening my window.
"Jess. Is everything okay?" I asked, not sure of why he was here, I thought he hated me.
"Yeah. Look, I know I'm the last person on Earth that you want to see." he started.
"Well, not the LAST person." I corrected. I definitely wanted to see Dad less. And ... a three headed monster, so not the last.
"Well, I just wanted to come to say good bye, and also to bring you this." He pulled out a little box.
"Good bye?" I frowned.
"Yeah. I'm going to tell Luke in the morning. I'm going back to New York," he said. "And this time I'm not coming back."
I felt my heart and face fall. "Why?" I asked weakly.
"Why not?" he asked, like he had no reason to stay. "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you good bye first because I didn't last time so..."he trailed off.
"Why are you leaving?" I asked again.
"Why would you care? I have no reason to stay." His usually unreadable eyes showed a glint of hopelessness.
"Yes, you do," I argued. "What about the people who care about you here? Or the people you care about."
He shook his head. "Like who? No one cares about me here."
"Like Luke and your friends and..." I struggled with the last name. "Shane."
He scoffed. "Yeah right. Shane is...well nothing to me, and the feeling's pretty much mutual. And as for friends, maybe you don't remember, but I don't really have anybody who wants to be my friend." he said.
"Yeah, you do," I said.
"Look, Ror, I have to go. Bye." He went to turn and leave.
"Wait!" I found my voice. I grabbed his hand off my window seal. "Don't go. Can you come in?" I asked.
He stared at his hand in mine for a second like he was fighting an internal battle. "I...I really should...go now." he faltered.
"Come on, just come in. We'll talk." I offered hoping he would agree. Now was the time to be persistent.
"Well, okay." he finally gave in.
I walked over to shut and lock my door. I didn't care if she was asleep, she hated him with a passion.
He shut my window, and never moved from that spot.
"Okay, now why don't you have a reason to stay? And what do you have in New York that would make being there better than being here?" I asked sensibly. I hadn't yet realized that this was a feeling problem, not a sensibility problem.
"Rory, nobody wants me here." he said.
"I want you here." I said without even thinking.
He looked slightly surprised. "Why? You have Dean. And don't worry, I'm sure some other guy will play the game. That's what I was, right? It was nice to have somebody caring about you that wasn't your boyfriend." he said, raw resentment present in his voice.
I hadn't realized that I had hurt him, but apparently I did. That hurt to hear. "How could you think that you were just a game to me? That is so so not true," I said with loads of sincerity.
"No?" he asked, not sure if should believe me or not.
"No. Is that one of the reasons you think you don't have? You do. You have it. If that's what you want, I'll break up with Dean tomorrow," I said truthfully. It wasn't actually that great of a sacrifice considering I wasn't not in love with Dean anymore.
He looked relatively shocked."You'd do that? Just so I wouldn't leave?" he asked.
"Yes. I will do that. Just please don't leave. I don't want you to leave," I said. "I'd miss you," I added quietly as I glanced at my hands.
Before I could say anything else, he kissed me. I, of course, kissed him back. He broke the kiss."I'm sorry, I just-" I interrupted with a kiss.
When I broke the kiss I smiled and said, "Don't be." He smiled in return and touched my face.
"I'll stay," he said simply, causing my face to light up. "Here." he handed me the little box.
I took it and opened it, inside was a sterling silver bracelet with a silver heart. I smiled and took it out.
"I wanted you to have it because I thought of you when I saw it." he explained.
I took my left wrist and pulled the bracelet that Dean gave me off and tossed it over by my closet door. I took the bracelet that Jess gave me and he helped me put it on. "It's beautiful," I said. "Thank you." I hugged him to say thanks. Then I kissed him, we continued to kiss for several minutes. When we finally broke the kiss, again he said, "I'm sorry." This puzzled me, because I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. He was confusing me.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I shouldn't have done that."
"What shouldn't you have done?" I asked, hoping he didn't mean kissing me.
"I shouldn't have come here and basically told you I'm leaving if you don't break up with your boyfriend," he clarified.
I frowned. "That's not what happened," I said.
"Yes it is. I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to pressure you like that. I didn't plan to do that," he said sincerely.
I smiled. "Jess, you didn't pressure me into anything. If you wouldn't have been with Shane I would have broken up with Dean as soon as I got home," I assured him.
"Oh. I didn't know that. Then I'm sorry for saying that you were playing games with me," he said.
"Forgiven. I'm sorry for leaving without saying anything to you." I said.
He smiled. "Forgiven."
He then leaned in and kissed me. I liked when he did that. When he broke the kiss, I looked into his eyes and saw love. Strong love. The kind of love that people spend their whole lives wanting. I felt it and now I knew he did too. I could see it. I kissed him again. I felt sparks when we kissed. We were kissing for probably 10 minutes just completely lost in the embrace, I had my arms wrapped securely around his neck, he had one arm on my back, one around my waist. I let go of his neck and slipped his jacket off. We kissed for just a few more seconds and he broke away.
"Jess?" I said quietly.
"Yeah?" he said just as quietly, smiling as he looked into my eyes rubbing my face.
I looked directly into his eyes, which I was slightly nervous to do, "Will you make love to me?"
He looked surprised, but as usual he hid it well. He leaned in and kissed me, "Are you sure?" he asked.
"Yes, I am," I answered, comforted by his soft tone.
He looked a little strained, but continued,"I don't want you to do something that you'll regret. I care way too much about you. you're not ... you're you. I don't want to rush you into something that you're not ready for. If you don't want to, or you're not ready, we don't have to do this," he assured me.
"I'll never regret this. And I know that you wouldn't pressure me. I couldn't trust you more."
He smiled and kissed me. This time we didn't break the kiss, we laid down and kept kissing. He finally did break the kiss. "If you change your mind and want me to stop, just tell me." he said.
I smiled and nodded at this practically useless information, I was not going to turn back now. I was nervous because I knew that he had done this before, and probably with girls that were far more experienced than me. I, on the other hand, had never done this before. He started kissing down my neck while I had my hands resting loosely on his back. He turned me so that I was lying flat on my back and he straddled me.
"You've never done this before, have you?" he asked, even though he probably already assumed it.
"No. Never," I answered.
"I know I'm a pest, but are you absolutely sure you want to do this?" he asked again.
I smiled, "You're not a pest, you're sweet. Jess, I want you to be my first," I assured him.
He smiled softly and ran his hand down my face again."Okay." He took his shirt off and we started kissing again.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I woke up in his embrace and looked up sleepily to see him watching me sleep.
"Good morning." he said, giving me a kiss.
"Good morning." I said, beaming. I loved being in his arms. I felt so safe.
"How do you feel?" he asked.
"Fabulous, how do you feel?"
"Blessed actually," he answered.
"Really?" I asked wrapping my arms around him thinking about how lucky I am.
"Well, I woke up with an angel in my arms, how would you feel?" he smiled.
"See, I always knew you were sweet inside that bad boy exterior." I said, smiling, almost amused.
"Well, I don't know about sweet, now sappy is what I was thinking," he said laughing lightly.
I snuggled up closer to him,"Yes, you're sweet, and caring, and sensitive even though you'll never admit it. You're smart and amazing. I don't know what I did to deserve to be this lucky," I said.
"No, you're amazing, and I think you're way too good for me," he said, smiling.
"Hey mister, watch how you talk about my Dodger." I said, mock warningly.
"Well, I definitely am your Dodger," he replied.
"Mm, I like that."
"So, would it be all right if I considered you my girlfriend now?"
"Yes, I think that has a nice ring to it." I answered, smiling.
"Are you sure? Because I could always just consider you friendish."
I elbowed him with a smile. "Shut up."
"Nice way to talk to your friendish friend."
"No, my boyfriend who's being a brat."
"Rory, can I tell you something that I've never told anyone before?" he asked sincerely after a moment of comfortable silence.
"Most definitely." I answered seriously as I rested my head on his chest.
"I want to tell you that I love you," he said. "And I hope that as the day goes by you don't regret this."
"I love you, too," I replied after a second. "I knew you loved me, I could see it in your eyes. And trust me Jess, I promise you that I will never regret this. I love you and you're great and the only way i'll regret this is if you suddenly decide you won't give me coffee anymore," I added to lighten the mood.
"How do you do that?"
"Do what?" I asked.
"You make me feel so important, so special."
"That's very easy.You ARE special, and you're very, very important to me,"I said. "Also, I wish you could hold me forever, but I would also like to see you live. Now, I will take care of everything. I'll break it off with Dean, and I'll tell my mom about us, but this would probably not be the best way for her to find out," I said, smiling.
He smirked. "Yeah, you're probably right. What time is it?"
"Um," I looked at my alarm clock." It's 4:23." I answered.
"Uncle Luke will be getting up at five o' clock, so as long as I'm back before that time, he won't ask where I was. Of course when you tell your mother, it's likely that we'll hear her from the diner." he said.
"Yeah," I said imagining the worst. "That or she'll immediately call Luke and tell him to kill you a little before she gets there so as to prolong your pain. Or she could head over there and take you by surprise. But I'm hoping for the best. It is somewhat of a possibility that she'll be, well, not calm, but hopefully she won't flip too bad," I said.
"Okay, we'll hope for the best. As soon as you break up with bag boy, will you call me?"
"Why yes I will." I kissed him. "I love you," I said.
"I love you too, more than you know." He sighed." But I should really go. I hate to leave you though," he said, softly stroking my hair.
"I know, and I hate for you to leave. But we don't want to end up like Romeo and Juliet," I said.
"Nope, that would be bad." he said, "Plus, you've already been Juliet." He smiled.
"Yes, and you played Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet soundtrack." I remembered.
"Yes, I did. As bad as I hate to, I should go, because when Luke finds out, if I'm within a two mile radius, he'll probably kill me," he said.
"Yes, so you go home and get in bed and I'll try to warn you if Mom freaks out and goes to Luke's, because I wouldn't want a homicidal maniac getting a hold of my boyfriend," I said.
"Well, in that case, give me a heads up when you break up with Dean and, well, when Stars Hollow finds out, which most likely they will by the way. I'll have to run away if I want to live," he said with a smirk. "Wanna come with me?"
"Well, I don't care what they say. I can take castigation. If running is the last resort, I'll have to run with you, because in case you haven't noticed, I'm not great with the idea of you going anywhere," I said, smiling.
"I did notice. But I assure you, when I came over to say good bye, this is the absolute last thing that I ever expected. I was prepared for good riddance, or you slamming the window in my face or at best you saying good bye and that being the end of it."
"Well," I said as I ran my hand up his chest and around his face and through his hair." I think you underestimate how much I like you."
"Oh, now you just like me?" he teased.
"You know what I mean." I gave him a kiss.
"Stop doing that or I'm not leaving," he said, causing me to smile.
"I wouldn't have a problem with that, but several others might, my mom being at the top of that list."
He leaned in and we kissed for a minute or two. "Okay, I should be getting up now."
"Yes, you should." I agreed, but didn't move, I just used my finger to draw imaginary circles on his chest.
"Because I need to get there before Luke gets u,." he added, but still made no attempt to move.
"Yes, that is very true," I agreed.
"So, I should get up." he said again.
"Yes. I know you don't want to leave, but I will see you later. However in order for me to see you later, you have to continue living," I pointed out.
"That would probably help." he kissed me again."Okay, I'm really getting up this time."
"Okay." I kissed him once more. "Get up." I smiled.
"All right, all right. Trying to get rid of me?" he teased.
"Yes. Get up." I teased.
"Okay," he said. "You're mean, but I'm getting up."
"I have your best interest at heart."
"That and you want sleep."
I smiled. "Well, okay, that too. But I also want you to live and you only have 20 minutes until Luke gets up." I told him.
"Well then, can I have good bye kiss?"
"Of course." I pulled him back down on my bed and kissed him.
"We seem to be having a problem here," he said.
I kissed him again."Yes," I kissed him."You're right."
He kissed me one more time."Okay, now I'll go." He got back up and went over to unlatch the window. "Bye."
"Bye, I'll see you later," I said.
He smiled and climbed out my window.
I stayed where I was for a minute, looking at my bracelet and smiling. I couldn't stop thinking about how incredibly lucky I was. Everything was perfect and I loved waking up in his arms. As much as I hate mornings, if I had to wake up every morning at 4:30 as long as I got to wake up in his arms it would be worth it. I hated the fact that very soon I would have to face the rest of the world. I had to somehow break up with poor Dean, and I felt bad that I had only stayed with him to get back at Jess. How childish was that? But the hardest part is going to be telling Mom. She hated Jess, and she wouldn't stop blaming him for the accident. I loved Jess though, and she loved me and she wanted me to be happy, and Jess made me happy. Of course she would have liked me being happy with Dean much better. I knew that when I told her she'd probably freak. I mean, it's not like I expected her to run over there, put her arm around his shoulder and invite him to dinner, although other than the fact that she probably would've poisoned the food, it would've been nice. She wants me to be happy, she'll understand, I thought.
Who am I kidding? She's going to blow her top, smoke will come out of her ears and she'll turn all red like Elmer Fudd. This is not good. But I didn't do anything wrong. Okay, maybe I should have broken up with Dean first, that would have been the correct way of doing it. But it's not like I'm going to tell him, he'll never know. I hope.
It's not that I was ashamed of Jess and me, that wasn't it at all. I just didn't want to hurt Dean anymore than I already had. Of course if any one in Stars Hollow ever found out about this it would be horrible. I would probably be called a few of less than flattering names. Either that or they'd all blame Jess, neither one would be good. I decided on going to go to sleep and I'd face the world when I woke up. But I also got to see Jess, so somehow I knew everything would be fine. I got up and put my pajamas back on, then I unlocked my door and went back to bed.
"Hey babe. Get up sleepyhead! Momma needs coffee." Mom pecked on my arm.
"Hmm? What time is it?" I asked rolling over and standing up groggily.
"It's 9:30, time for coffee." she replied.
Coffee? Jess! I looked around, I hope it wasn't all a dream. It didn't seem real anymore, I felt like it was all just a dream. It had to be real. I looked at my wrist and smiled, it was real. "I need to talk to Dean." I said as I rubbed my eyes sleepily. Hey, 4:23's early, give me a break.
"Well hon, can you talk to loverboy after coffee?" she asked.
"No. I mean, yes, I mean, I don't know," I stammered. "I'm going to break up with him," I told her.
Her eyes widened. "Why?" she asked.
"Because our relationship has been over since before I left for Washington."
"Look honey, I know you kissed Jess, but maybe you should just take a day to think it over. You're probably still upset about last night." she said."I don't want you to make an irrational decision because you're upset."
Oh yeah, I kissed Jess all right, but what is she talking about? "Last night? Irrational decision?" I asked completely bewildered.
"Yes, Chris coming. All men are not awful, Dean falls directly under that category. You're upset about Chris and sweetie when you're upset you're not in your right mind," she said.
Oh shoot! I forgot about that. Now is definitely not a good time to tell her about Jess, because I need to convince her that I was in my right mind. "No Mom, I am in my right state of mind. I was last night, too. I'm seriously fine," I assured her.
She looked very unconvinced. "Just think about it over coffee, okay?" she asked.
I decided to humor her. "Fine. But my mind's made up. My heart's just not there," I said.
"Then where is it?" she asked.
Oh, I should have seen that one coming. With Jess. "Let's go get coffee," I said wanting to change the subject.
She eyed me suspiciously, "Interesting change of subject." she observed, "Very subtle."
"I'm gonna go get dressed, okay?"
"Oh, fine. Hurry, I need coffee," she said pouting as she walked out.
"Hey, ready for coffee?" Mom asked as I came out of the bathroom pulling my hair up in a pony tail. "Hey, hand me the phone, will you?"
"Okay." I grabbed the phone.
"I want to actually put it on the hook tod-" she stopped and stared towards my arm.
"Here." I pushed the phone at her not realizing what was wrong.
"Where's your bracelet and what is that?" she asked holding my wrist.
She took the phone in her other hand. "Mom, I told you. It's over. I'll be back" I ran to my room and grabbed Dean's bracelet and threw it in my purse. "Ready?" I asked upon my return.
"Where did you get that bracelet hon? It's pretty but where did it come from?"
I tried, but couldn't help smiling as I looked at it."Oh, someone gave this to me."
"Hmm, who gave it to you?" she asked.
"Um," I could never seem to lie to her."Why don't I tell you later, after coffee," I suggested.
She looked at me strangely,"Why won't you tell me now?" she asked.
"Well, I will. But maybe we should wait until-"
"Why won't you tell me now?" she interrupted me.
I was not going to get out of this, I bit my lip,"Okay, do you really-"
"I would really like to know, yes."
"Okay. It's from...Jess," I said.
She closed her eyes, probably to keep her head from exploding, then opened them again. "Jess?"
"Yes," I answered, not sure if I should say anymore. If I continued it would be highly unlikely that we would even
make it to the getting coffee.
"Why are you wearing a bracelet from Jess in place of Dean's?" she asked calmly.
"Okay, if you want to go into that, we should sit down for a couple minutes," I said.
"Oh, I definitely want to hear this."
We sat down on the couch. "Okay," I smiled slightly."Remember you love me and you want me to be happy. So, don't let your head implode, because I am happy," I started.
She half smiled. "Well yes, I do want you to be happy."
"Okay, hold on to that feeling. I had intended to tell you this later, but since you asked, Mom...I'm...in love with Jess." I said semi-cautious.
"Oh thank God!" she said puzzling me, but causing me to smile. "I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant, because that was definitely an introduction that could have very easily been used to say that. You scared me there." She held her chest with a relieved smile.
"Oh." I laughed uneasily. She could tell.
"Oh, you weren't finished," she realized,"Go on."
"I was not going to tell you- I am not telling you that I'm pregnant," I said to calm her.
"Well, that's a very good start, now for the but."
I really wasn't sure how to tell her the rest. I wish Jess were here with me."Well, Mom," I started chewing my lip. "Jess brought me this bracelet last night." I said rubbing the heart. I was really nervous now.Why couldn't I just tell her? I have no regrets.
"Well, since I didn't know Jess was here last night I'm guessing it was late."
"Well, yes, it was. I should have practiced this in a mirror," I said nervously.
"I think I pretty much know what you're trying to say. Jess came over here last night and he seduced you," she said much less calm as she stood up.
"Not true. Very very not true. That's not what happened Mom," I said, also standing up.
"Oh bull, you did exactly what I said. You acted irrationally because you were upset over your dad. And Jess came here and it worked out great, because you were upset and vulnerable and maybe you were clingy and Jess was there, so since you-"
"Mom, stop please!"I said forcefully, then calmed down."Jess didn't even know that I fought with my dad. He just came over to-" I stopped myself. That was stupid.
"To what?" she asked.
"Huh?" I asked hoping all would be forgotten.
"What did he come over for?"she asked again knowingly.
I couldn't think of a lie, plus if she found out that I was lying to her that would just be worse."He came over to say something and to give me this bracelet," I said vaguely.
"Now I know how my mother felt, a vague reason is forthcoming, because you just did that. What did he want to say, Rory?" She pressed,"You know I won't stop until you tell me."
"He came to say good bye," I said softly.
Her eyes widened."He's going somewhere?" she asked.
I didn't know how to reply. Not now would sound bad. "No."
"Well then why was he saying good bye if- Oh no," she said like she figured it out.
"What?" I asked, wanting to know what she was thinking. "What?" I asked again.
"All I can say is you better walk me through the evening here, because I really really don't like the way that sounded. Jess was going somewhere, but then he came to say good bye and- Did he give you an ultimatum?"
"No! Jeez! How could you- of course not."
"Well, walk me through the conversation here."
"He told me he was going back to New York and he wanted to tell me good bye first because he didn't tell me good bye last time. He hadn't even told Luke," I explained.
"Very convenient. Then what did you say?"
"I told him he couldn't go, he asked why, I said what about the people that care about him, the people that he cares about here."
"Ah, yes, like the blond girlfriend, whom I am assuming he was unfaithful to, which should tell you something about the kind of boyfriend he is." she said.
"He's a wonderful boyfriend, thank you very much, she's nothing to him, and she's not his girlfriend." I am, I thought.
I surprised her by how confident I sounded."Well, you could have fooled me," she said.
"I know but anyway he tried to leave the subject and our house, but I grabbed his hand and asked him to come in and talk. I wanted to talk him into stying,"I explained,"He didn't want to come in but he finally gave in and we talked. He said nobody wanted him here, I told him that I did. He looked a little surprised but then he told me he thought he was just a game to me,I was surprised by that piece of information, but told him it wasn't true. He told that he didn't have a reason to stay. I asked if Dean was one of those reasons he thought he didn't have, I told him that I would break up with him today which actually isn't that big of a sacrifice considering that I'm not in love with Dean and I am in love with Jess. But anyway, he was shocked, I mean if I would have had a feather I could have knocked him right over. He couldn't believe that I'd do that just to keep him here."
"Well, yeah. Because you want to give up your long relationship and your wonderful boyfriend,"she said enthusiastically, "for Jess." she finished plainly.
"Yep. I do. I love Jess and I wasn't going to let him walk out of my life again. Especially since I would only have to end a relationship that has already been over for a long time to keep him here," I said.
"Oh, that's all you had to do?" she asked sarcastically.
"Yes, that's all I had to do," I said, truthfully."What, do you think he came here and said sleep with me or I'm leaving? 'Cause that's how you're acting." I said,slightly annoyed.
"Well, I'm glad he didn't use those words,'cause that would be sad," she said rolling her eyes.
"That's so not what happened."
"Well, you did sleep with him, right?" she asked knowingly.
"Yes, I did," I confirmed after a small pause.
"And you did it so that he wouldn't leave, he told you he didn't have a reason to stay so I guess you thought you needed to give him one."
"No, you can't do that. You can't turn Jess into the bad guy."
"Are you really that blind Rory? He used you. He-"
"No! No he didn't. He loves me and I love him and I know you hate that."
"Do you hear yourself?" she asked.
"Yes, and I know I sound very much like a movie character in denial, but I'm not.You are wrong. I told him I'd break it of with Dean he told me he'd stay. That was the end of that story.Then he gave me the bracelet."
"So, how did he convince you to sleep with him?" she asked.
"He didn't. That's how far off you are. He does care about me, in fact he tried to talk me out of it several times."
"Yeah right."
"That's how I know he cares, other than him telling me." I said.
"Rory, sweetie, I know you think he cares, let me try to explain. He sees this beautiful, smart, sweet, innocent girl with a wonderful boyfriend who loves her and respects her. So he wants to see if he can lead her astray.Well, he did. The only thing is once you break up with Dean, wonderful, respectful, loving Dean, he wins."
"I want you to know that you're very incredibly wrong. Jess loves me and respects me and I'm not even going to waste my time being mad at you because I know it's not true. Jess isn't like that, you'll see,"I said calmly.
"I hate this. I don't want you to get hurt. But you're going to,because I can tell you're expecting him to, I don't know, be there. I don't want you to throw everything away just to see that you've become Shane. Nothing to him."
"I'm so close to getting mad at you. I'll never be Shane."
"Sweetie I hope you're right. But if Jess is who I think he is you're going to get hurt."
"He's not, you'll see. I need to call Dean."
"You said you were going to wait,"she reminded me quickly.
"I know, but I can't wait to prove you wrong. I can't do that with Dean still hanging."
"Rory," she pleaded. "What if I'm right?"
"You're not."
I dialed the familiar numbers. "Hello?"
"Dean?"
"Hi Rory," he answered.
"Hey, um could we meet?"
"Sure, is everything okay?"
"Well, we need to talk."
"Oh, that's not good."
"Where do you want to meet?" I asked, not disagreeing.
"In the center of town I guess." he said gloomily.
"Okay, see you there?"
"Yeah. See you in a few minutes."
"'Kay,bye."
"How do you know you're doing the right thing?" Mom asked.
"For one thing if Dean would've been leaving I could've said good bye. Don't worry, it'll be all right."
"I hope I'm wrong. I hope he doesn't get bored with you," she said.
I walked back over and grabbed my purse, then we silently headed out the door to Luke's.
*
A/N: Okay, the next chapter is waiting to be read. Please review!!!