Title: Someday
Author: Ellie
Rating: nothing in here really
Pairing: Inui/Kaidoh
Summary: This is the beginning of a series of songfics about InuKai.
Kaidoh discovers that Inui is in a relationship with someone, and then
finds himself feeling all sorts of weird emotions. But what are they?
This one is Kaidoh-centric, the next one will have Inui.
Song: Green Day-At the Library
****
The school quickly reappeared over the horizon as Kaidoh huffed his way through the last part of his return to the school after fleeing of practice. Many things were infiltrating his mind as feet thumped against the ground. Exams and schoolwork were in their ever-present 'to be ignored' hole, new tennis forms swished around, occasionally taking precedence, but what was wafting around with thorns and razorblades had nothing to do school or his game, or even anything he normally deemed to be an important matter in life.
Kaidoh skittered to a halt when he saw Inui standing at the entrance, patiently waiting for something or someone.
*Hey there lookin' at me*
*Tell me what do you see*
*But you quickly turn your head away*
Their eyes met and Kaidoh felt himself slam into an invisible wall that suddenly appeared. Inui flinched for a fraction of a second, and then darted his eyes to the ground. A bubble of uncertainty and unease grew between them. It was the same internal conflict that they shared, but neither of the boys were aware of that little fact.
*Try to find the words I could use*
*Don't have the courage to come up to you*
*My chance is looking a bit grey*
Kaidoh didn't look away. Enough of his self had been hurt that anger was welling up behind his will. He tried to take a step forward, failed, and the surge of anger shattered his will for sense. So he froze, unmoving in that spot, thinking about what had happened, but still watching Inui intently.
*Starting across the room*
*Are you leaving soon?*
*I just need a little time*
Inui was graduating soon from Seigaku, soon to head into high school. Soon to leave Kaidoh alone for a year, or, more likely, forever since Inui was planning on only applying to the most selective schools in their area. He took a week two months earlier to tour some schools and take entrance exams. In that time, Inui had befriended a boy from one of the schools like him, eerily smart and an athlete. He was completely clean cut, a shining example of the school dress code at work. Normally, everyone would have been keen on the idea of liking him, except for the way that he looked at Inui. Eiji had been the only one with the boldness to express what was on the minds of the entire team: that boy was only interested in one thing, and it wasn't having Inui as just a friend. None of them had actually interacted with him, only sighted him on occasion after the practices, and no one really had much of an interest in doing so.
The high school the boy went to was relatively near by, and as a result Inui had been seen leaving with him nearly every day after practice. No one questioned him, but there was talk in the clubhouse about what was going on between the two. Inui had slowly seemed to change since the meetings started. He was somewhat quieter; more subdued, and would just stare at his notebooks without writing anything down. Kaidoh recognized the little details more than anyone else, and worried, but never said anything of it. Pangs of an unfamiliar emotion would ache in him whenever Kaidoh watched Inui walk off with the older boy, but he always passed them off as something silly, something not worth paying any mind to.
*What is it that drives me mad*
*[Boys] like you that I never had*
*What is it about you that I adore?*
Just as Kaidoh was beginning to think that he could deal with the situation, and that it was Inui's life to do whatever he wanted, Kaidoh's mind was whammed with something new that tore down any and all acceptance he had created. Due to an absolutely abysmal practice tournament with doubles, Oishi and Eiji were blasting into all the pairs. During Kaidoh and Inui's turn, things weren't going well. Their natural communication that had always been present from practicing together so much had all but disappeared. They didn't crash into each other, for which Oishi was grateful, but every possible weakness showed up and was hammered into by Eiji's merciless acrobatics.
Nearing the end, while straining to reach a long ball, Inui's shirt slipped high above the waistline of his shorts. Kaidoh was used to seeing that kind of flash, but his eyes flicked to it when three parallel lines were revealed on his back. That sight switched a filter on in his mind to look for any other such marks. Luckily, Inui managed to reach the ball just in time and returned it back to Oishi, but Kaidoh was too absorbed in staring at a hickey at the edge of his shirt collar he has just discovered.
All at once Kaidoh's heart dropped to his stomach, and adrenaline burned its way through his body. His breath caught in his throat, and thankfully, just before he lost his balance, the returned tennis ball hit him square in the head, so when he fell to the ground no one questioned it. Inui quickly ran over to him to lend aid, but Kaidoh skittered away and yelled, "Don't touch me!" before scrambling up and running away without a second thought.
*That makes me feel so much pain*
*What makes me go so insane*
*What is it about you that I adore?*
Kaidoh ran until he collapsed. People around glanced down at the sweaty broken boy sitting on a crumpled heap of legs, but no one offered help. That was just as well, Kaidoh didn't want any help.
Why did he care so much? Inui was just Inui, a team mate, a friend, a companion to train with, and his doubles partner. So what if he was involved with someone? After all most of his classmates were experimenting around.
This new emotion in Kaidoh, he couldn't quite figure it out. It hurt him to see Inui with someone else. Was it jealousy? No, it couldn't be. Kaidoh tried to shoo that idea from his mind, but it was the only explanation. He shook his head and found that his legs could move again, so he painfully stood up and started roaming around.
As he walked, he considered. Inui... The name ran through his head a few times before other words began to form thoughts around it. So he cared about Inui, that wasn't so strange, they were team mates, and shouldn't that be a natural emotion after working so closely? That had to be it. He had seen the same thing happen with Eiji and Oishi; they worked so closely together that they became very personally and emotionally close. Delicately ignoring the fact that the entire team and school knew that those two were more than simply 'involved' with each other, Kaidoh went ahead and set that resolution in stone.
His feelings were a normal occurrence that happened to everyone, okay, but why then did he have such an ill reaction to seeing those marks on Inui? And why did he find such a hatred for the boy he left with every day?
Kaidoh's legs stopped walking, and his head sank down. It was pointless to deny his original conclusion. Jealousy. Plain and simple, an emotion that stretched from friendly competition, to material goods, but all the way up to the complicated area of romance. It was the only thing that fit right. The anger towards the other boy, the anger towards Inui, the uncomfortableness, the uncertainty...
And there it was. The answer. To have jealousy you have to first have a love for the subject in question. The feelings he had for Inui, no longer secluded as a darkly hidden package in his mind. Kaidoh loved him in a way, in as much as he could for not having a relationship with him. He hissed and gave into the idea for a moment.
Would it be so bad to give complete into them? To accept them fully and openly acknowledge their existence? He always overheard the girls in his class talk about the horrible fate of loving someone from afar, but then how wonderful it was to just love someone at all. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad fate. Even if nothing could come of it, the feelings gave Kaidoh a strange happiness he had never felt before.
So he decided to stop trying to think, and instead to simply go with what he felt. With that, he got up and began a return trip to the school.
*Starting across the room*
*Are you leaving soon?*
*I just need a little time*
There was a pained expression on Inui's face when he looked back up. Kaidoh took one step forward, and then another. Inui shifted uncomfortably in his spot and looked down the street, trying to ignore his encroaching teammate.
A refusal. Plain, simple, and blunt. Something ripped in Kaidoh, but the shreds that were left combined to produce the anger and determination that he normally reserved for matches. Kaidoh let out a laugh, full throated and loud, causing Inui to look back to him sharply.
By the grace of either chance, or some higher force, before anything between the two could escalate, the mysterious high school boy ran up to Inui out of breath.
"Gomen, Sadaharu! I had to speak with a few people after classes let out. Oh, and good news. I overheard some people talking, and it looks like you're in!" his excitement wore off when he realized Inui was still staring at Kaidoh and paying no attention to what was just said. They boy put a hand on Inui's arm and he violently flinched back. Not quite the response the boy had hoped for.
The high-schooler had definitely earned his way into the institution, because after looking between Kaidoh and Inui, his smile faded ad his back stiffened. Without saying anything, he nudged Inui's arm to get his attention again, then cocked his head in the direction he had just came from. Obediently, Inui followed.
*Why did you have to leave so soon?*
*Why did you have to walk away?*
Watching the two walk down the street, Kaidoh bowed and accepted his loss. Next time, next year, next life, it didn't matter, Kaidoh would win at some point.
*Oh well it happened again*
*She walked away with her boyfriend*
*Maybe we'll meet again someday.*
Preview for next part: Those that are lonely are the ones who will be most taken advantage of.
****
The school quickly reappeared over the horizon as Kaidoh huffed his way through the last part of his return to the school after fleeing of practice. Many things were infiltrating his mind as feet thumped against the ground. Exams and schoolwork were in their ever-present 'to be ignored' hole, new tennis forms swished around, occasionally taking precedence, but what was wafting around with thorns and razorblades had nothing to do school or his game, or even anything he normally deemed to be an important matter in life.
Kaidoh skittered to a halt when he saw Inui standing at the entrance, patiently waiting for something or someone.
*Hey there lookin' at me*
*Tell me what do you see*
*But you quickly turn your head away*
Their eyes met and Kaidoh felt himself slam into an invisible wall that suddenly appeared. Inui flinched for a fraction of a second, and then darted his eyes to the ground. A bubble of uncertainty and unease grew between them. It was the same internal conflict that they shared, but neither of the boys were aware of that little fact.
*Try to find the words I could use*
*Don't have the courage to come up to you*
*My chance is looking a bit grey*
Kaidoh didn't look away. Enough of his self had been hurt that anger was welling up behind his will. He tried to take a step forward, failed, and the surge of anger shattered his will for sense. So he froze, unmoving in that spot, thinking about what had happened, but still watching Inui intently.
*Starting across the room*
*Are you leaving soon?*
*I just need a little time*
Inui was graduating soon from Seigaku, soon to head into high school. Soon to leave Kaidoh alone for a year, or, more likely, forever since Inui was planning on only applying to the most selective schools in their area. He took a week two months earlier to tour some schools and take entrance exams. In that time, Inui had befriended a boy from one of the schools like him, eerily smart and an athlete. He was completely clean cut, a shining example of the school dress code at work. Normally, everyone would have been keen on the idea of liking him, except for the way that he looked at Inui. Eiji had been the only one with the boldness to express what was on the minds of the entire team: that boy was only interested in one thing, and it wasn't having Inui as just a friend. None of them had actually interacted with him, only sighted him on occasion after the practices, and no one really had much of an interest in doing so.
The high school the boy went to was relatively near by, and as a result Inui had been seen leaving with him nearly every day after practice. No one questioned him, but there was talk in the clubhouse about what was going on between the two. Inui had slowly seemed to change since the meetings started. He was somewhat quieter; more subdued, and would just stare at his notebooks without writing anything down. Kaidoh recognized the little details more than anyone else, and worried, but never said anything of it. Pangs of an unfamiliar emotion would ache in him whenever Kaidoh watched Inui walk off with the older boy, but he always passed them off as something silly, something not worth paying any mind to.
*What is it that drives me mad*
*[Boys] like you that I never had*
*What is it about you that I adore?*
Just as Kaidoh was beginning to think that he could deal with the situation, and that it was Inui's life to do whatever he wanted, Kaidoh's mind was whammed with something new that tore down any and all acceptance he had created. Due to an absolutely abysmal practice tournament with doubles, Oishi and Eiji were blasting into all the pairs. During Kaidoh and Inui's turn, things weren't going well. Their natural communication that had always been present from practicing together so much had all but disappeared. They didn't crash into each other, for which Oishi was grateful, but every possible weakness showed up and was hammered into by Eiji's merciless acrobatics.
Nearing the end, while straining to reach a long ball, Inui's shirt slipped high above the waistline of his shorts. Kaidoh was used to seeing that kind of flash, but his eyes flicked to it when three parallel lines were revealed on his back. That sight switched a filter on in his mind to look for any other such marks. Luckily, Inui managed to reach the ball just in time and returned it back to Oishi, but Kaidoh was too absorbed in staring at a hickey at the edge of his shirt collar he has just discovered.
All at once Kaidoh's heart dropped to his stomach, and adrenaline burned its way through his body. His breath caught in his throat, and thankfully, just before he lost his balance, the returned tennis ball hit him square in the head, so when he fell to the ground no one questioned it. Inui quickly ran over to him to lend aid, but Kaidoh skittered away and yelled, "Don't touch me!" before scrambling up and running away without a second thought.
*That makes me feel so much pain*
*What makes me go so insane*
*What is it about you that I adore?*
Kaidoh ran until he collapsed. People around glanced down at the sweaty broken boy sitting on a crumpled heap of legs, but no one offered help. That was just as well, Kaidoh didn't want any help.
Why did he care so much? Inui was just Inui, a team mate, a friend, a companion to train with, and his doubles partner. So what if he was involved with someone? After all most of his classmates were experimenting around.
This new emotion in Kaidoh, he couldn't quite figure it out. It hurt him to see Inui with someone else. Was it jealousy? No, it couldn't be. Kaidoh tried to shoo that idea from his mind, but it was the only explanation. He shook his head and found that his legs could move again, so he painfully stood up and started roaming around.
As he walked, he considered. Inui... The name ran through his head a few times before other words began to form thoughts around it. So he cared about Inui, that wasn't so strange, they were team mates, and shouldn't that be a natural emotion after working so closely? That had to be it. He had seen the same thing happen with Eiji and Oishi; they worked so closely together that they became very personally and emotionally close. Delicately ignoring the fact that the entire team and school knew that those two were more than simply 'involved' with each other, Kaidoh went ahead and set that resolution in stone.
His feelings were a normal occurrence that happened to everyone, okay, but why then did he have such an ill reaction to seeing those marks on Inui? And why did he find such a hatred for the boy he left with every day?
Kaidoh's legs stopped walking, and his head sank down. It was pointless to deny his original conclusion. Jealousy. Plain and simple, an emotion that stretched from friendly competition, to material goods, but all the way up to the complicated area of romance. It was the only thing that fit right. The anger towards the other boy, the anger towards Inui, the uncomfortableness, the uncertainty...
And there it was. The answer. To have jealousy you have to first have a love for the subject in question. The feelings he had for Inui, no longer secluded as a darkly hidden package in his mind. Kaidoh loved him in a way, in as much as he could for not having a relationship with him. He hissed and gave into the idea for a moment.
Would it be so bad to give complete into them? To accept them fully and openly acknowledge their existence? He always overheard the girls in his class talk about the horrible fate of loving someone from afar, but then how wonderful it was to just love someone at all. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad fate. Even if nothing could come of it, the feelings gave Kaidoh a strange happiness he had never felt before.
So he decided to stop trying to think, and instead to simply go with what he felt. With that, he got up and began a return trip to the school.
*Starting across the room*
*Are you leaving soon?*
*I just need a little time*
There was a pained expression on Inui's face when he looked back up. Kaidoh took one step forward, and then another. Inui shifted uncomfortably in his spot and looked down the street, trying to ignore his encroaching teammate.
A refusal. Plain, simple, and blunt. Something ripped in Kaidoh, but the shreds that were left combined to produce the anger and determination that he normally reserved for matches. Kaidoh let out a laugh, full throated and loud, causing Inui to look back to him sharply.
By the grace of either chance, or some higher force, before anything between the two could escalate, the mysterious high school boy ran up to Inui out of breath.
"Gomen, Sadaharu! I had to speak with a few people after classes let out. Oh, and good news. I overheard some people talking, and it looks like you're in!" his excitement wore off when he realized Inui was still staring at Kaidoh and paying no attention to what was just said. They boy put a hand on Inui's arm and he violently flinched back. Not quite the response the boy had hoped for.
The high-schooler had definitely earned his way into the institution, because after looking between Kaidoh and Inui, his smile faded ad his back stiffened. Without saying anything, he nudged Inui's arm to get his attention again, then cocked his head in the direction he had just came from. Obediently, Inui followed.
*Why did you have to leave so soon?*
*Why did you have to walk away?*
Watching the two walk down the street, Kaidoh bowed and accepted his loss. Next time, next year, next life, it didn't matter, Kaidoh would win at some point.
*Oh well it happened again*
*She walked away with her boyfriend*
*Maybe we'll meet again someday.*
Preview for next part: Those that are lonely are the ones who will be most taken advantage of.