Disclaimer: I own nothing, don't remind me.
Gasp! I almost forgot to thank my fantabulous beta, Sami! Thanky so much!
A/N: First and foremost ...I want to thank the academy! No, actually I want to thank the reviewers, but how bad do I want that Academy Award? Apparently not bad enough because I'm nowhere near Hollywood. Off topic, sorry. Thank you to the reviewers, you guys rock so much! I feel so mocky tonight. Sorry. But I just have corny Award Acceptance speeches in my head, so I should go try to be an actress so I could say "Thank you to my fans. You're my light, my air, thank you all so much!" Because sadly those words are in my head right now, except saying reviewers instead of fans. Because I'm a cornball. Oh well, better than being a corn wheel. Wow, what would one of those look like? A wheel made of corn? Sorry, I'm monologuing! I'll stop, I swear! Okay, I'm updating much, much, much, much sooner, isn't that so nice of me? No, because as much as I didn't update I owe you. But it could be looked at as sweet if you really want to look at it that way. I'll update again soon because I didn't fit all I wanted to in this chapter but I don't want to rush it --like I was doing in the notebook-- and I don't want to cram it all together and make it yucky and ...crammed. So...yeah.
Jin: You're back! Lol, with tnets and time sonez. Anyhoo, thank you for returning! And yes, the first chapter is different, just not by much. The punctuation is better and I fixed some mistakes, not to mention I added a little bit, not much, just a few lines. Then I deleted a little bit. Nothing major, I didn't want to change it too much. But it does look a little better and it does yes "Yes." he said., it says "Yes," he said. I know, how important. :D But it bugged me. And I need to take a sarcasm pill or something, because I think my Jess is still suffering and for some reason I can't seem to fix him in this story. *pout* I need to stick to ATYI and BIML or something.
gilmorelvr: So sorry that it took so long! I was being majorly judgmental of this story. I'm better now and at the moment I'm on sort of a roll. I'm really glad you're enjoying the story! That makes me so happy!
smile(1): Thank you for the review! And not to be a pest, but what do you think I could've done better? I wasn't sure about that chapter anyway, but I was just wondering if it was anything specific or just in general not as good? I love your reviews, they're always helpful!
**
The next step was telling everyone.
I had to tell Jess and my grandparents and, as my mom wouldn't quit pointing out, my dad. I didn't want to talk to him, let alone tell him about my teen pregnancy.
I avoided Jess all of Friday—which was easy since I was supposed to be at dinner—and all of Saturday. He called, I let the machine get it, Mom shot me a slightly worried look and the world continued to spin. Sunday I wouldn't even let Mom go to Luke's because I knew if she kept going in alone Jess was going to get suspicious.
The doorbell rang.
"Pizza!" Mom called out.
"I'll get it."
"Don't forget to tip Joe," she called.
"After you yelled at him? I wouldn't dream of it."
"That was a misunderstanding," she called back.
I grabbed the money and opened the door.
I had to take a double take. "Oh, Jess. Hi."
"Hi."
I looked at the pizza box in his hand.
"Oh, dinner's on me," he said, handing me the pizza.
"Thanks. Here's your tip," I said, handing him the money I was going to give Joe.
"Thanks." We stood there for a minute. "Can I come in?"
"Are you sure you want to? You'd make a nice door ornament."
He smirked. "No thanks, I have a job."
"Come in," I said, stepping aside and hiding my reluctance.
"Oh, I smell pizza," Mom said, walking in sniffing. "Oh, Jess. Hi."
"Hi."
Mom looked at me and then at him. Finally she took the pizza box from me and silently excused herself from the room.
"So...hi," I repeated.
"Haven't we been here before?"
"At some point." I nodded.
"I haven't seen you in the diner lately."
"Oh, lot of Al's, he was doing his fun themes."
"Your mom's been in. I just haven't seen you."
"Oh, I blend in. My hair and ...the.... I wore…. Really?"
He looked at me oddly. "Are you avoiding me?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Because it seems like you are. I'm having summer flashbacks."
"I'm not avoiding you."
"Good, then you've quit Luke's and shut your phone off?"
"Um, yeah, but the mailbox still works," I said with a small smile to try and lighten the mood.
"Huh. Didn't think of that."
"Yeah, and e-mail, I still have e-mail."
"Relationships of the 21st century."
I sighed. "Wanna stay for pizza?"
"It wouldn't be inconvenient for you?"
"Jess."
"Well, talking to me obviously is. Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself or anything."
"Stop."
"You're the one who's been ignoring me. The only reason I even came here was to see if you were going to break up with me when you saw me. You didn't. I guess I'll leave and you can continue ignoring me," he said, but he made no effort to move, which I found cute.
I smiled. "Are you waiting for me to stop you?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm leaving," he said, turning around.
"You are not," I replied, pulling him back to face me.
"What?"
"You're being grumpy."
"Well, my girlfriend of less than a month is already ignoring me."
"I'm sorry," I said, giving him a lingering kiss.
He smiled a little. "I guess that made it a little better."
"Only a little?"
"Yep, I'm still wounded."
"Now you're just milking it."
"Maybe."
I smiled and kissed him on the cheek, then back on the lips.
He pulled me closer and kissed my neck.
"I hear lips," Mom called from the other room.
Jess stopped. "She has a radar."
"She does," I agreed.
"I don't like it."
"Me neither. But what can we do?"
"Nothing," she called back.
"Mom, stop eavesdropping," I said.
"I'm not eavesdropping!" she called back. "Oh. I mean, what was that, little bird?"
I chuckled quietly.
"She's so subtle," Jess said sarcastically.
"Isn't she though." I nodded.
"So, you're going to start coming in for coffee again, right?"
Coffee. He had to say coffee. Then the reason for my ignoring him came back to me and I tensed again. However, Mom came in the room, saving me.
"Okay, do you want to stay for pizza? It won't inconvenience us and Rory's appetite is not to be proud of lately anyway, we have plenty for you to eat, too."
"You're inviting me over for dinner?"
"Don't tell anyone," she said.
"Is it poisoned?"
"Yes, it has vegetables on them, pick them off or you'll die."
"Vegetables don't kill you."
"Yes they do, silly boy," Mom said, patting him on the head and annoying him.
"Did you have to do that?"
She grinned. "Yeah. He has good hair," she admitted to me.
I looked up at his hair. "He does have good, hair," I said, running my fingers through it.
"Okay, I'm officially uncomfortable," he said.
"How many bottles of gel does it take to keep it that way?" Mom asked, still looking at his hair.
"You two are weird," he stated, walking in the other room to get pizza.
"I hope it gets his hair," she whispered to me before also heading to the other room.
I made a face—not because of her comment—and ran to the bathroom.
"Okay, your hair's good, too. Jeez, so touchy. Oh! Sorry," she said, realizing what was wrong and following me.
An eternity later I sat on the floor wiping my mouth with a towel as Mom got me a drink and Jess stood in the doorway, seemingly afraid to come in.
"I'm done, you can come in," I told him.
He walked in and sat down next to me. "Are you sick?"
"Sort of." I nodded.
"Is that why you haven't been in?" he assumed.
"Sort of."
"Sorry. I didn't know."
"Of course you didn't, I didn't tell you."
"Your mom hasn't mentioned it to Luke."
"I know."
Just then Mom came in, saving me again. "Here honey, have a drink."
"Thank you," I said gratefully, taking a drink of the water.
"Um, should I leave you two—?"
"No, we're fine," I interrupted.
"Oh. Okay."
Jess looked at me strangely and then her. Neither of us were willing to give anything away. "Am I missing something?"
"You're missing the pizza, it's in the other room.… I think I'm going to skip it though," I added as an afterthought.
Then something I hadn't counted on happened. Jess saw the little stick in the trashcan. He looked directly at me.
Mom cringed. "Now I'm going to leave you alone," she decided.
He just stared at me.
"Um..." I began.
"Something you need to share with me?"
"My mom isn't pregnant," I blurted.
"Oh."
I couldn't believe I had just said that.
"Sorry, I thought…" He trailed off.
"I'm not feeling well, I'm going to go lie down if you don't mind."
"No, that's fine. I hope you feel better."
I walked him out to the living room and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later."
"Okay," he said, nodding.
"Bye." I closed the door and slid down it.
"Um, he took that unbelievably...well?" Mom frowned in utter confusion.
"I didn't tell him."
"How did you not tell him? He saw the test. I saw him see the test."
"Um, I...I didn't really lie. You aren't pregnant."
She gasped. "Rory!"
"I didn't know what to do! I was nervous and I wigged!"
"You lied to him," she stated.
"I didn't, you're really not pregnant."
"Rory, come on."
I sighed. "Okay, I know. And I shouldn't have. But I just...froze. That wasn't how I wanted to tell him. Not because he saw a test. Not on my bathroom floor. I mean, that's an awful way to find out something like that. I just...couldn't do it. I will. I'll tell him, but I just couldn't tell him like that."
"You have to tell him soon."
"I know."
"Especially now."
"I know," I replied, looking at the ground.
She sighed and sat down on the ground with me. "So start planning it without the bathroom and the tossing of cookies."
"I can plan that?"
"You might fall into a pattern, with you it was every night between the hours of five and seven."
I smiled. "Really?"
"Yep."
"I want to see this one's pattern," I said, looking at my belly.
She smiled a soft, bittersweet smile and patted my leg. "Let's go get some pizza."
I took her hand as she helped me up and we went in to eat.
**
Over the next week I planned and planned on ways to tell Jess, crossing off the ridiculous ones and being mocked by Mom that I actually made a list of ways to tell Jess he was going to be a father.
"Are you going to put it in the baby box?"
"The baby box?"
"Yeah, the box...the baby stuff. You have a baby box, do you remember this?"
"Yeah, you showed it to me."
"Oh! And we have to make a jumper out of your t-shirt. We can start traditions!"
"You've gone nuts," I decided as I marked one of the other options off.
"I have not."
"We can't have traditions because my son or daughter is not going to get pregnant as a teen."
"I hope your son doesn't get pregnant."
"You know what I mean."
"Well, either way."
"I know, but someday he or she will have kids, right?"
"Mm, I'm not sure, I may just lock it up with some nuns or monks, depending on the sex."
"Hm, I should've thought of that," she mused as she opened the door to Luke's.
"Thank you," I said, going in. "But anyway," I shoved my notebook in my backpack, "weren't you saying something about a grasshopper?"
"Oh! Yeah, thank you. Okay, a grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'"
"Then the grasshopper looks surprised and says, 'You have a drink named Steve?' I know, you told me this one."
"I did?" she asked, deflated.
"Yep."
"Oh, how about the one about the blonde and her sister who went to the tanning booth-"
"Heard it. Not funny. Was never funny. Will never be funny."
"I don't like you moody." Mom pouted.
We sat down at the counter and I put my backpack on the floor.
"Luke, have I told you about the grasshopper who walked into a bar?"
"Nope, don't wanna know," he replied, gruffly as usual.
"Fine, pour coffee in the cup, maybe that will fill some of my emptiness," she said dramatically.
"And slowly kill you. What a wonderful idea," he replied sarcastically.
"Hey," Jess greeted me.
I smiled and gave him a kiss. "Hey."
"Feeling any better?"
"I told you I'm fine," I said with a smile.
"Were you sick?" Luke asked.
"Oh, um, no, not really."
Jess gave me a funny look. "Yes, you were, you were hugging the toilet and I had to leave so you could sleep."
"Well, yeah, but I'm not sick sick, like sick, I'm not contagious."
"I think it's highly contagious," Mom nodded as she sipped her coffee.
"Coming from a woman who claims to have recurrent Pastalicfibrosis, that is funny," I said.
"It gets us out of dinner with Richard and Emily, doesn't it?"
"It's not real."
"Neither was the headache I used to get during ballroom dancing lessons, reality doesn't mean anything if it gets you out of a Gilmore time of dread."
I shook my head. "Um, I guess I'll have…. Do you have anything but milk? It's so boring."
"I could put food coloring in it," Jess replied, jokingly.
"Ooh, what color?"
"Could you make it orange for Halloween?" Mom asked excitedly.
"Yeah! I want orange milk," I said.
"Oh, I want orange coffee!" Mom pouted.
"I'm not even going to attempt that," Jess stated.
"Make me orange milk, too?" she asked.
"You're both children," he said, shaking his head as he headed off to the back.
She smiled at me. "How much you wanna bet he'll come back with two cups of orange milk?"
I nodded. "It's a given."
**
As we walked out of Luke's Mom tried to peek over my shoulder. Again.
"Stop it!" I snapped, pulling my notebook so she couldn't see it.
"How many ways could you possibly have come up with?"
"I had 12, but I'm down to 3."
"I can't believe you won't let me see the list. I've done this before, you know. I know how to do it."
"I want to figure out what I want to do, then I'll tell you."
"Oh, I'm honored." She rolled her eyes.
"Good. Now I have to go to school, unless of course you want to follow me."
She pouted. "I won't follow you, but when you decide make sure you tell me so I know before he does how he's going to find out. I had you; I deserve it."
I smiled. "I'll tell you, just go to work."
"You're bossier already."
"Yeah, well, someone has to be."
"Right, why not the pregnant daughter?"
"Exactly. I'm obviously a wonderful example," I said, rolling my eyes.
She smiled and kissed me on the forehead. "Yes, you are," she said. "And don't you forget it."
I smiled softly. "Thanks Mom."
"The truth doesn't always hurt. Have a good day at school, babe."
"You too," I called, before turning back to my route and more importantly, my list. It was time to debate some more.
**
A/N: Okay, I meant to tell him in this chapter, but the bathroom floor? Come on. Rory would never go for that. I would never go for that. My fingers simply couldn't do it. I had to rewrite that whole part because I backspaced it all. It just didn't feel right. Next chapter: I promise she'll tell him. There are tons of people to tell, I can't say who all I'm going to have told in the next chapter, because as you can see I don't always follow my plan. But definitely Jess. But the grandparents very well may have to be the next because let's face it, that cannot be pretty. "Oh, hi Mom, Dad. Rory's pregnant." "Oh that's wonderful! I'm so glad! Won't you sit down and we'll celebrate! Emily, call everyone we know!" "I've already done it! The champagne's on its way now!"... Yeah, no. But I will try to get that out because I want to move things along. I have a cute little scene I'm just dying to write and that's why I'm popping out chapters like this all of a sudden. Oh! PLEASE REVIEW! Sorry, it's tradition. *grin*
Gasp! I almost forgot to thank my fantabulous beta, Sami! Thanky so much!
A/N: First and foremost ...I want to thank the academy! No, actually I want to thank the reviewers, but how bad do I want that Academy Award? Apparently not bad enough because I'm nowhere near Hollywood. Off topic, sorry. Thank you to the reviewers, you guys rock so much! I feel so mocky tonight. Sorry. But I just have corny Award Acceptance speeches in my head, so I should go try to be an actress so I could say "Thank you to my fans. You're my light, my air, thank you all so much!" Because sadly those words are in my head right now, except saying reviewers instead of fans. Because I'm a cornball. Oh well, better than being a corn wheel. Wow, what would one of those look like? A wheel made of corn? Sorry, I'm monologuing! I'll stop, I swear! Okay, I'm updating much, much, much, much sooner, isn't that so nice of me? No, because as much as I didn't update I owe you. But it could be looked at as sweet if you really want to look at it that way. I'll update again soon because I didn't fit all I wanted to in this chapter but I don't want to rush it --like I was doing in the notebook-- and I don't want to cram it all together and make it yucky and ...crammed. So...yeah.
Jin: You're back! Lol, with tnets and time sonez. Anyhoo, thank you for returning! And yes, the first chapter is different, just not by much. The punctuation is better and I fixed some mistakes, not to mention I added a little bit, not much, just a few lines. Then I deleted a little bit. Nothing major, I didn't want to change it too much. But it does look a little better and it does yes "Yes." he said., it says "Yes," he said. I know, how important. :D But it bugged me. And I need to take a sarcasm pill or something, because I think my Jess is still suffering and for some reason I can't seem to fix him in this story. *pout* I need to stick to ATYI and BIML or something.
gilmorelvr: So sorry that it took so long! I was being majorly judgmental of this story. I'm better now and at the moment I'm on sort of a roll. I'm really glad you're enjoying the story! That makes me so happy!
smile(1): Thank you for the review! And not to be a pest, but what do you think I could've done better? I wasn't sure about that chapter anyway, but I was just wondering if it was anything specific or just in general not as good? I love your reviews, they're always helpful!
**
The next step was telling everyone.
I had to tell Jess and my grandparents and, as my mom wouldn't quit pointing out, my dad. I didn't want to talk to him, let alone tell him about my teen pregnancy.
I avoided Jess all of Friday—which was easy since I was supposed to be at dinner—and all of Saturday. He called, I let the machine get it, Mom shot me a slightly worried look and the world continued to spin. Sunday I wouldn't even let Mom go to Luke's because I knew if she kept going in alone Jess was going to get suspicious.
The doorbell rang.
"Pizza!" Mom called out.
"I'll get it."
"Don't forget to tip Joe," she called.
"After you yelled at him? I wouldn't dream of it."
"That was a misunderstanding," she called back.
I grabbed the money and opened the door.
I had to take a double take. "Oh, Jess. Hi."
"Hi."
I looked at the pizza box in his hand.
"Oh, dinner's on me," he said, handing me the pizza.
"Thanks. Here's your tip," I said, handing him the money I was going to give Joe.
"Thanks." We stood there for a minute. "Can I come in?"
"Are you sure you want to? You'd make a nice door ornament."
He smirked. "No thanks, I have a job."
"Come in," I said, stepping aside and hiding my reluctance.
"Oh, I smell pizza," Mom said, walking in sniffing. "Oh, Jess. Hi."
"Hi."
Mom looked at me and then at him. Finally she took the pizza box from me and silently excused herself from the room.
"So...hi," I repeated.
"Haven't we been here before?"
"At some point." I nodded.
"I haven't seen you in the diner lately."
"Oh, lot of Al's, he was doing his fun themes."
"Your mom's been in. I just haven't seen you."
"Oh, I blend in. My hair and ...the.... I wore…. Really?"
He looked at me oddly. "Are you avoiding me?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Because it seems like you are. I'm having summer flashbacks."
"I'm not avoiding you."
"Good, then you've quit Luke's and shut your phone off?"
"Um, yeah, but the mailbox still works," I said with a small smile to try and lighten the mood.
"Huh. Didn't think of that."
"Yeah, and e-mail, I still have e-mail."
"Relationships of the 21st century."
I sighed. "Wanna stay for pizza?"
"It wouldn't be inconvenient for you?"
"Jess."
"Well, talking to me obviously is. Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself or anything."
"Stop."
"You're the one who's been ignoring me. The only reason I even came here was to see if you were going to break up with me when you saw me. You didn't. I guess I'll leave and you can continue ignoring me," he said, but he made no effort to move, which I found cute.
I smiled. "Are you waiting for me to stop you?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm leaving," he said, turning around.
"You are not," I replied, pulling him back to face me.
"What?"
"You're being grumpy."
"Well, my girlfriend of less than a month is already ignoring me."
"I'm sorry," I said, giving him a lingering kiss.
He smiled a little. "I guess that made it a little better."
"Only a little?"
"Yep, I'm still wounded."
"Now you're just milking it."
"Maybe."
I smiled and kissed him on the cheek, then back on the lips.
He pulled me closer and kissed my neck.
"I hear lips," Mom called from the other room.
Jess stopped. "She has a radar."
"She does," I agreed.
"I don't like it."
"Me neither. But what can we do?"
"Nothing," she called back.
"Mom, stop eavesdropping," I said.
"I'm not eavesdropping!" she called back. "Oh. I mean, what was that, little bird?"
I chuckled quietly.
"She's so subtle," Jess said sarcastically.
"Isn't she though." I nodded.
"So, you're going to start coming in for coffee again, right?"
Coffee. He had to say coffee. Then the reason for my ignoring him came back to me and I tensed again. However, Mom came in the room, saving me.
"Okay, do you want to stay for pizza? It won't inconvenience us and Rory's appetite is not to be proud of lately anyway, we have plenty for you to eat, too."
"You're inviting me over for dinner?"
"Don't tell anyone," she said.
"Is it poisoned?"
"Yes, it has vegetables on them, pick them off or you'll die."
"Vegetables don't kill you."
"Yes they do, silly boy," Mom said, patting him on the head and annoying him.
"Did you have to do that?"
She grinned. "Yeah. He has good hair," she admitted to me.
I looked up at his hair. "He does have good, hair," I said, running my fingers through it.
"Okay, I'm officially uncomfortable," he said.
"How many bottles of gel does it take to keep it that way?" Mom asked, still looking at his hair.
"You two are weird," he stated, walking in the other room to get pizza.
"I hope it gets his hair," she whispered to me before also heading to the other room.
I made a face—not because of her comment—and ran to the bathroom.
"Okay, your hair's good, too. Jeez, so touchy. Oh! Sorry," she said, realizing what was wrong and following me.
An eternity later I sat on the floor wiping my mouth with a towel as Mom got me a drink and Jess stood in the doorway, seemingly afraid to come in.
"I'm done, you can come in," I told him.
He walked in and sat down next to me. "Are you sick?"
"Sort of." I nodded.
"Is that why you haven't been in?" he assumed.
"Sort of."
"Sorry. I didn't know."
"Of course you didn't, I didn't tell you."
"Your mom hasn't mentioned it to Luke."
"I know."
Just then Mom came in, saving me again. "Here honey, have a drink."
"Thank you," I said gratefully, taking a drink of the water.
"Um, should I leave you two—?"
"No, we're fine," I interrupted.
"Oh. Okay."
Jess looked at me strangely and then her. Neither of us were willing to give anything away. "Am I missing something?"
"You're missing the pizza, it's in the other room.… I think I'm going to skip it though," I added as an afterthought.
Then something I hadn't counted on happened. Jess saw the little stick in the trashcan. He looked directly at me.
Mom cringed. "Now I'm going to leave you alone," she decided.
He just stared at me.
"Um..." I began.
"Something you need to share with me?"
"My mom isn't pregnant," I blurted.
"Oh."
I couldn't believe I had just said that.
"Sorry, I thought…" He trailed off.
"I'm not feeling well, I'm going to go lie down if you don't mind."
"No, that's fine. I hope you feel better."
I walked him out to the living room and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later."
"Okay," he said, nodding.
"Bye." I closed the door and slid down it.
"Um, he took that unbelievably...well?" Mom frowned in utter confusion.
"I didn't tell him."
"How did you not tell him? He saw the test. I saw him see the test."
"Um, I...I didn't really lie. You aren't pregnant."
She gasped. "Rory!"
"I didn't know what to do! I was nervous and I wigged!"
"You lied to him," she stated.
"I didn't, you're really not pregnant."
"Rory, come on."
I sighed. "Okay, I know. And I shouldn't have. But I just...froze. That wasn't how I wanted to tell him. Not because he saw a test. Not on my bathroom floor. I mean, that's an awful way to find out something like that. I just...couldn't do it. I will. I'll tell him, but I just couldn't tell him like that."
"You have to tell him soon."
"I know."
"Especially now."
"I know," I replied, looking at the ground.
She sighed and sat down on the ground with me. "So start planning it without the bathroom and the tossing of cookies."
"I can plan that?"
"You might fall into a pattern, with you it was every night between the hours of five and seven."
I smiled. "Really?"
"Yep."
"I want to see this one's pattern," I said, looking at my belly.
She smiled a soft, bittersweet smile and patted my leg. "Let's go get some pizza."
I took her hand as she helped me up and we went in to eat.
**
Over the next week I planned and planned on ways to tell Jess, crossing off the ridiculous ones and being mocked by Mom that I actually made a list of ways to tell Jess he was going to be a father.
"Are you going to put it in the baby box?"
"The baby box?"
"Yeah, the box...the baby stuff. You have a baby box, do you remember this?"
"Yeah, you showed it to me."
"Oh! And we have to make a jumper out of your t-shirt. We can start traditions!"
"You've gone nuts," I decided as I marked one of the other options off.
"I have not."
"We can't have traditions because my son or daughter is not going to get pregnant as a teen."
"I hope your son doesn't get pregnant."
"You know what I mean."
"Well, either way."
"I know, but someday he or she will have kids, right?"
"Mm, I'm not sure, I may just lock it up with some nuns or monks, depending on the sex."
"Hm, I should've thought of that," she mused as she opened the door to Luke's.
"Thank you," I said, going in. "But anyway," I shoved my notebook in my backpack, "weren't you saying something about a grasshopper?"
"Oh! Yeah, thank you. Okay, a grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'"
"Then the grasshopper looks surprised and says, 'You have a drink named Steve?' I know, you told me this one."
"I did?" she asked, deflated.
"Yep."
"Oh, how about the one about the blonde and her sister who went to the tanning booth-"
"Heard it. Not funny. Was never funny. Will never be funny."
"I don't like you moody." Mom pouted.
We sat down at the counter and I put my backpack on the floor.
"Luke, have I told you about the grasshopper who walked into a bar?"
"Nope, don't wanna know," he replied, gruffly as usual.
"Fine, pour coffee in the cup, maybe that will fill some of my emptiness," she said dramatically.
"And slowly kill you. What a wonderful idea," he replied sarcastically.
"Hey," Jess greeted me.
I smiled and gave him a kiss. "Hey."
"Feeling any better?"
"I told you I'm fine," I said with a smile.
"Were you sick?" Luke asked.
"Oh, um, no, not really."
Jess gave me a funny look. "Yes, you were, you were hugging the toilet and I had to leave so you could sleep."
"Well, yeah, but I'm not sick sick, like sick, I'm not contagious."
"I think it's highly contagious," Mom nodded as she sipped her coffee.
"Coming from a woman who claims to have recurrent Pastalicfibrosis, that is funny," I said.
"It gets us out of dinner with Richard and Emily, doesn't it?"
"It's not real."
"Neither was the headache I used to get during ballroom dancing lessons, reality doesn't mean anything if it gets you out of a Gilmore time of dread."
I shook my head. "Um, I guess I'll have…. Do you have anything but milk? It's so boring."
"I could put food coloring in it," Jess replied, jokingly.
"Ooh, what color?"
"Could you make it orange for Halloween?" Mom asked excitedly.
"Yeah! I want orange milk," I said.
"Oh, I want orange coffee!" Mom pouted.
"I'm not even going to attempt that," Jess stated.
"Make me orange milk, too?" she asked.
"You're both children," he said, shaking his head as he headed off to the back.
She smiled at me. "How much you wanna bet he'll come back with two cups of orange milk?"
I nodded. "It's a given."
**
As we walked out of Luke's Mom tried to peek over my shoulder. Again.
"Stop it!" I snapped, pulling my notebook so she couldn't see it.
"How many ways could you possibly have come up with?"
"I had 12, but I'm down to 3."
"I can't believe you won't let me see the list. I've done this before, you know. I know how to do it."
"I want to figure out what I want to do, then I'll tell you."
"Oh, I'm honored." She rolled her eyes.
"Good. Now I have to go to school, unless of course you want to follow me."
She pouted. "I won't follow you, but when you decide make sure you tell me so I know before he does how he's going to find out. I had you; I deserve it."
I smiled. "I'll tell you, just go to work."
"You're bossier already."
"Yeah, well, someone has to be."
"Right, why not the pregnant daughter?"
"Exactly. I'm obviously a wonderful example," I said, rolling my eyes.
She smiled and kissed me on the forehead. "Yes, you are," she said. "And don't you forget it."
I smiled softly. "Thanks Mom."
"The truth doesn't always hurt. Have a good day at school, babe."
"You too," I called, before turning back to my route and more importantly, my list. It was time to debate some more.
**
A/N: Okay, I meant to tell him in this chapter, but the bathroom floor? Come on. Rory would never go for that. I would never go for that. My fingers simply couldn't do it. I had to rewrite that whole part because I backspaced it all. It just didn't feel right. Next chapter: I promise she'll tell him. There are tons of people to tell, I can't say who all I'm going to have told in the next chapter, because as you can see I don't always follow my plan. But definitely Jess. But the grandparents very well may have to be the next because let's face it, that cannot be pretty. "Oh, hi Mom, Dad. Rory's pregnant." "Oh that's wonderful! I'm so glad! Won't you sit down and we'll celebrate! Emily, call everyone we know!" "I've already done it! The champagne's on its way now!"... Yeah, no. But I will try to get that out because I want to move things along. I have a cute little scene I'm just dying to write and that's why I'm popping out chapters like this all of a sudden. Oh! PLEASE REVIEW! Sorry, it's tradition. *grin*