If I were in AC 4!
Before, on "If I were in AC3", Kirby had a nightmare of Rover coming back
just as she suspected she would, just to wake up to have to listen to Nook
blab about the house he had let her borrow for the night. After some talk,
Nook sold the house to Kirby, but she didn't have enough money. So, Kirby
finally gave in to work for Nook until the debt was repaid.
Kirby: Ok, so let's see. (Back at the Train Station's map) There are a few villagers here. And a police place, a tailor's, Nook's stupid shop, and a post office. Ooo! A beach too! Maybe this place won't be so bad after all! Hm hm hm! Now all they need is a mall with a big arcade and huge movie theatre. Oh well. It's better than living back home. So, where to first?
Porter: Why not ...EEEEEEEEEEEKK! Go to EEEKKKK! Your job, EEEEKKK!
Kirby: Shut up, Monkey. I don't need you telling me what to do. Say, how did you know that anyway?
Porter: I EEEEEKKKK! Guessed. It happens all the time with every human that's ever moved into this EEEEEKKKK! Village EEKKKKKK! (Continuous electrocuted spasms.)
Kirby: Well, I'll do that later. Much. Ok, bye now! (Walks off to the post office directs ((left)) ) Ok. A dump on the way to the post office. And if I go one more huge acre than I'll go to the post office and check it out. (Finally gets past train station acre and halfway across the dump ((A-2)) ) Ok, change of plans. (Heavy breathing) I'm going to Nooks. Oh great! Now I have to go all the way back. How am I ever going to get the hang of this???! (Walks all the way 2 acres the other direction and gets to a wooden shack) What IS this? (Reads sign at top) Nooks, Cranny. . . HA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS is a SHOP!? HAHA! This must be a joke. (Stops laughing) No, knowing Nook even just this past night makes me think this definitely belongs to him. (Goes inside)
Nook: Hello! I was wondering if you were ever going to show! HEHEH! Only kidding!
Kirby: Why am I not amused..Anyway, why in the world would I want to come to this wooden dump anyway?
Nook: Because I sold you a bologna sandwich.
Kirby: Excuse me?
Nook: I mean, a house. A Pretty Pony. (Sobs and uses apron to dry tears when he stomach bulges out and his apron goes flying through the door)
Kirby: (wide-eyed) Ok. . .I'm going to pretend that never happened.
Nook: Ok. . .(gets out notepad and writes down as he talks) Note to self: 6th apron bought this year too tight; once again flew off me and out window.
Kirby: It's a door, Einstein.
Nook: Hey, I like that, Einstein. Say, what's it meaning? Can it be sold? How much can I get for one? Where can you find one of these. "Einsteins"?
Kirby: Certainly no where around yourself.
Nook: Well thanks, I know.
Kirby: You can't even recognize an insult when you hear one!
Nook: Well thanks, I know. (Dazed look on face)
Kirby: Ugh! Can we continue?
Nook: Oh, right-your job that you DIDN'T come by for on time. You need to put on this uniform, first of all. (Hands Kirby clothes)
Kirby: Ew! YOU touched it!
Nook: Now who's the Erenbird?
Kirby: (eyes partly closed as in sarcastic) It's "Einstein."
Nook: Whatever. Just change into these clothes.
Kirby: But. . .
Nook: No buts.
Kirby: Are you sure cause yours is pretty b-
Nook: JUST CHANGE INTO THE CLOTHES! Do you need me to dress you or something?!
Kirby: AH EW! Get away! (Rushes outside and changes into uniform) What an ugly shirt. Figures. Whatever, I'll survive it. (Walks back inside)
Nook: Oh, yes. You were truly born to wear that uniform.
Kirby: And if you don't shut up about the uniform, you'll be born to die.
Nook: Oh. Yes. Hmm. Anyway, your first job is to plant these flowers around my shop. And,
Kirby: Eh, whateva! I got it. Sheesh. . .(walks outside) Now where should I plant this bag? (Sarcastically) Oh, wait, I know! (Goes and throws them across the fence on the railroad track.) First job-done and done! (Goes back inside shop) Flowers're done!
Nook: Really? That was fast.
Kirby: Well, I'm, uh, fast. Yeah. Fast. That's me! Heheh-
Nook: I am not sure, but ok. I mean I'm not going to be the one being laughed at when others see what you've done out there.
Kirby: Actually, you probably will be.
Nook: True. That's why, I am rather suspicious, however, that you-
Kirby: OH BE QUIET I DID YOUR STUPID JOB! So, I guess I'm free to leave now, huh?
Nook: Oh not even close! You still have to WORK for me. That was just one job of the deal nd since you got through that quickly, I'll give you 80 bells.
Kirby: 80 BELLS?!
Nook: I know, I know. Too impressively generous for words, huh? Don't worry you can take your time on your un-defying gratitude, I cant wait!
Kirby: (mouth open wide and mad)
Nook: (looks down at wrist as though he's wearing a watch, although he's not) Ok, anytime now!
Kirby: You only pay my 80 bells for all that work? I'm sweating just thinking of the word of throwing some plants over the-I mean digging them into the ground.
Nook: Tsk tsk tsk. That's no way to talk to your boss on your first day of work.
Kirby: Well, you're not a very good one. I hope everyone here isn't as dumb as you are most of the time.
Nook: Hey, that insult reminds me. Kirby, you just moved here from- somewhere, and you haven't met anyone here, have you?
Kirby: Well, even though it's none of your business, no.
Nook: I'm busy working on something now anyway, so why don't I give you a break and you can go meet the others here in Brinstar. And be sure to say hello to the Mayor, too. He'll be by the wishing well, and-
Kirby: Do you have like an "off" button somewhere? Cause if you do, it would be really nice.
Nook: Well, I haven't checked recently, but the last time I did-no.
Kirby: That's too bad. It really is. And anyway, ok ok I'll meet your stupid townsfolk or whatever. Yeah yeah and the mayor too. And besides, what talent of working on something could YOU possibly possess?
Nook: Well, right now, I'm working on learning how to spell my name. (Turns back to Kirby and writes while talks) A. -No no wait! It's N.O.B. NO WAIT! That's not right! N. O. O. D. NO NO NO! Ugh!
Kirby: (to herself) Why do I even bother? (Walks out with Nook still talking to himself) So, where to first? I guess it would be good to meet some of my neighbors, though I don't want to walk around lost all day. Oh well.
(After going back to the train station's map and studying it for a few minutes, Kirby decides the closest house is Peanut's, that is one acre left on Kirby's house.)
Kirby: Ok, so I'll go there. (Walks all the way over to her house thinking the name "Peanut" means it's an elephant) Wow, I'm not as tired as I thought I'd be. So, anyway, I see a house, but no elephant or whatever a peanut is, besides the size of Nook's brain.
(While Kirby is thinking to herself, a pink squirrel comes out of the house and Kirby doesn't even notice it she's so much in thought.)
Peanut: OH! Hi! I don't think I've ever seen you around before.
Kirby: Huh? Who are you?
Peanut: My name's Peanut, a cute name huh? I'm willing to bet your name isn't as cute as mine!
Kirby: Whatever. It's Kirby. And I don't care about "cute" anyway. I'm a tomboy. (NOTE: I, Rebekah, really am a tomboy.)
Peanut: Oh, stop being so tough! Hi, it's cute, but not as cute as mine, like I thought, although it's kinda cute. So, anyway, when did you move here, or are you just visiting?
Kirby: Will you please shut up about the whole cute thing? AndI moved here just last night. And, before you ask, my place is one acre to the right, house to the bottom-right.
Peanut: You mean Pretty Pony?
Kirby: What is with you people and the house-name-calling? (Roles eyes) Yes, "Pretty Pony."
Peanut: Well, be sure you take good care of Pretty Pony. Nook almost loved it.
Kirby: Nook can't even spell his own name yet.
Peanut: Yeah, you have a point. Nevermind. So anyway, I'll see you around, slacker.
Kirby: Hey, I'm not slacker. See this ugly uniform? SEE IT??!!!!
Peanut: No.
Kirby: Excuse me?
Peanut: (cheerfully) You're excused!
Kirby: Whatever-anyway, this uniform, the ugly shirt, was given to me by the "Nook" guy because I now work for him. Well, just until I repay my loan to him for my house.
Peanut: I see, slacker.
Kirby: Stop calling me a slacker! I work ok? I don't see YOU working.
Peanut: I don't see anything at all!
Kirby: Figures. Well, bye now.
Peanut: Bye, slacker!
Kirby: (already turned around to walk away) grrrr.note to self. Peanut:annoying. Very annoying. Calls me slacker for no good reason and apparently has horrible vision. Ok, that went well! Now, let's see, where to next? The next I guess should be "Tybalt." What a horrible name. Anyway, (back at map) let's see. It's pretty far. Well, from there I'll go to the Police Station and say "hi" to them. And then check out the beach, go along the beach until I get to the Tailor's, visit Dotty along the beach, head upwards, see the pond, "Queenie," and the Wishing Well, where supposedly the mayor is. Augh! This is annoying.
(So, she walks across a bridge in Acre B-4 to a section of land and downward to Tybalt's house, acre C-5.)
Kirby: So, this must be Tybalt. A weird yellow tiger. How weird can this place get? (Says while looking at him and his house) I guess I'd better play "good citizen of the day" and introduce myself. (Walks over) Hi. I'm Kirby. I-
Tybalt: (Just staring at ground at nothing like AC characters sometimes do.)
Kirby: (sort of mad thinks) Ok, I'll try again. Maybe he didn't hear me. Or then again, maybe he's just an idiot like everyone else. (Says) Hi, I'm Kirby. I just moved here. And you are? (Friendly holding out hand)
Tybalt: (still stares at ground not noticing anything)
Kirby: HELOOOOOOO???!!!!??
Tybalt: (drooling now still staring at ground)
Kirby: (throws arms up in air and stomps off) Oh, I give up!
Tybalt: (Guess what he's still doing. That's right! Still staring at the ground with eyeballs looking different directions)
Kirby: Ok, second note to self. Next towny-Tybalt. Horrible listener. Probably doesn't even know the alphabet, as a side note. Another idiot, as usual. Ok next I go downward down the hill one acre to the Police Station. K, sounds easy enough, although something will probably go terribly wrong as usual and make it hard.
(So, Kirby walks down past Tybalt's house to a downward hill that's about 1 acre long! She runs down, out of breath at the bottom, and continues on now at Acre E-5, where she sees what she guesses is the police station up ahead in the acre and walks all the way up to it.)
Kirby: (close to station, sees a dog standing outside by a map) Yes! I was about to get lost. Another map! (Runs up to map to look at it.)
Police: Why, hello! Are we a new citizen around here?
Kirby: (looks back to see a huge-headed dog in a police uniform) Huh? Oh, yes, I just moved here last night. I'm guessing you're the police, and this is the police station?
Police: Quite right! Quite right indeed! I'm Copper, and also, inside is my assistant officer. He's a little shaky, however. Still a recruit, see. You catch on fast.
Kirby: Yeah, well, I'm used to it. I just had to adjust to Nook and apparently some cat named "Rover." Don't ask. You don't want to meet him, if you haven't already. But anyway, thanks for the info. So what does this place do anyway?
Copper: This is the police station.
Kirby: Uh, yes. Very good. I see that. I mean what is INSIDE the police station?
Copper: Walls.
Kirby: (getting annoyed but still trying to be nice since this IS the police) Yes, I know. But what is it FOR?
Copper: Well, I, to uphold my rightful duty to protect, can say to others that this is the station where you can find whatever you might have lost in the village. It might be inside here, in the lost and found. Unfortunately, however-
Kirby: (trying to stay awake, but eyes keep slowly shutting as she tries to open them wide again)
Copper: -there is no charge for fallacy claiming lost items. Also, we don't pick up trash left on the ground yet. There just isn't enough time or workers. And furthermore, as a rightful citizen, I hope you do endure this policy well and uphold the peace of Brinstar's community, while focussing on the society's efforts to make this place a brilliant community of shining, safe, peaceable townies and villagers. I, myself, take pride in being the police of Brinstar, since it is my occupation. I do not ever intend to skip my duties unless I have a break. And I also cherish every waking moment of crime fighting. Recently, though, these past years haven't seen too much evil-wrong doings. I am glad these citizens here understand peaceable nature well, as it is important in the community life of all the people and animals alike. Much like yourself, new citizen, Kirby, I do enjoy a good conversation, and nevertheless, I do take pride in my work, as well as training my recruit inside. Whereas he is not as fat along as I am, I willingly give my time up for him. He is a good citizen, too, although sometimes not too bright. Anyway, I do believe also, that all-
(One hour later, literally)
Kirby: (Leaning on station's wall with knees bent standing up sleeping, drooling, and snoring slightly.)
Copper: (still going strong talking an hour later) -which reminds me of an extremely long speech written by the greatest Police of all time. (Gets out huge, huge, long, curling piece of paper with very tiny writing on it and starts reading while doing hard gestures.) Dear friends, fellows, juvenile delinquites, I am a police officer. As a great one, my autobiography is as follows: I was born in a log cabin. Blah blah blah blah blah-
Kirby: (suddenly waking up) Huh? What happened? Oh, its just you. Still.talking.(still half asleep, then suddenly becomes wide-eyed and awake) What am I doing here?
(Copper's still reading speech not noticing Kirby is talking)
Kirby: Ok, I met the police. I hope for the LAST time. (Silently walks off while Copper is dramatically still reading story and gets out notebook) Ok, next. Police named "Copper." Likes to blab about I don't know what. All I head in all his talk was "Yap, yap. Blah, blah. Dribble, dribble, dribble!" Ok next stop. Walk along the beach until I get to the Tailor's, then along the right a few acres until I get to "Dotty's." Oh, this is SOO annoying. I'll be through the entire village by the time I get through all this and back up to Nook's, if I ever even get that far. (So, Kirby walks all the way along the beach until she gets to the Tailor's Shop.) So, this is it. Huh? The Able Sisters? Ok, what a weird name. At least it's bigger than the Police Station. (Walks inside)
Mable: Hi. Welcome to the Able Sister's, where YOU are the famous fashion designer. Hey, are you new?
Kirby: Yes, hi. Uh, I'm just here to see what this place is.
Mable: Oh, ok. Well, please feel free to look around. And if you have any questions, just ask!
Kirby: Yeah, thanks. (Kind of walks around umbrellas and inspects them.) You call THESE fashions?
Amble: Yeah! I call this one "Umbrella Pattern,"
Kirby: Wow, how original. (Sarcastic)
Mable: Well, to be honest, lately no one has been thinking up any good, new designs. Maybe you can change that. You seem like the capable type.
Kirby: Thanks, but no thanks. I don't DO fashion. I'm a tomboy, k?
Mable: I see. Well, if you need anything, I'll be here.
Kirby: Yeah, you told me that. (Thinks) This person is really annoying me now.I am at the top of my anger string right about now, too. Maybe it was a mistake moving to THIS town. (Looks over to a corner of the room) I wonder who that is over there. (Talks to Mable.) Who is that?
Mable: Oh that's my sister, Sable. She is kinda shy.
Kirby: Ok, well whatever. Maybe I can talk to her. I'm pretty capable, like you said. (bragging voice) (walks over to Sable) Hey. My name's Kirby. Who're you?
Sable: (doesn't even look up; just sewing) Um, if you need help, could you please ask the salesclerk over there?
Kirby: I already did. I want to meet you.
Sable:.......
Kirby: Helloooo??
Sable: Um, my claws are full right now.
Mable: What? Hey sis, I'm busy too, ya know!
Sable: (faintly) Patience, just a little patience.
(Mable stares at Sable with a mad look)
Kirby: (looking wide-eyed at both of them with Mable staring at her sister madly and Sable not paying attention-just sewing.) Ok, whatever. Bye you two.
Mable: Grrrrrrrrrrrrr
Sable: (still sewing)
Kirby: Ok, I can tell something maddening is going to happen now, so I'm gonna leave now.yeah.(quickly runs out door) Ok that was weird. I have the weirdest feeling that Mable's going to kill Sable so I'd better hide. (quickly runs behind a nearby tree and right after she does, the whole shop starts shaking and you can hear "grrrrs" and "ahhhhhh!!'s" and pouncing around and mad people or animals inside) Ok, I'm leaving now. I knew it would happen, though, because it's my 6th sense-"danger of the weird, crazy things." I guess I'm used to it from back at home. (Walks off to the left an finally reaches the next acre with the shop still having smoke come out of it and yelping noises inside.)
(Then, finally, Kirby sees a house out in the distance, faintly.)
Kirby: Yes! Finally! I mean I like walking along the beach and all, but this is taking forever just to walk one lousy acre to this "Dotty" person's house. I doubt it'll even be worth it, especially after recalling all the dorks I've met so far. I mean let's think about it.Rover, the monkeys, Nook, Peanut, Tybalt, Copper, and now the weird Able Sisters. Could this place GET any WEIRDER? (Is now at the front of the house from all her talking to herself and sees a rabbit watering the lawn around her house.) Yep, I guess it could.(calls out) Um, you must be Dotty, right?
Dotty: Oh, yes. Hi! Hm? I don't remember you. Who're you?
Kirby: Oh, I was just getting to that. I'm Kirby, and I've been through some of the village since last night. I'm new here, so...
Dotty: Well, uh that's a weird name, sorry to say. Isn't it a boy's name?
Kirby: Well, I am a tomboy, if that counts for anything.
Dotty: Mm, not really.
Kirby: Well it does to me, ok?
Dotty: Fine, fine! No need to get feisty.
Kirby: Feisty? You call THIS feisty? You have GOT to be kidding me. THIS, woman, rabbit, whatever, is NOT feisty.
Dotty: Fine, fine! No need to get feisty.
Kirby: Ok.calm. Think smooth, nice, serene river and birds. (Talks to herself while having palms together and eyes closed and all that and suddenly.) WHICH I'LL SHOOT BECAUSE OF THEIR ANNOYING TWEET SOUNDS!!! (outburst makes Kirby look like she'll explode and then goes back to normal) Ok-
Dotty: (staring at Kirby wide-eyed and confused and almost scared, and then drops her watering can.)
Kirby: -uh, sorry you had to see that.
Dotty: Yeeeaaaahhh, I won't ask.
Kirby: Good, you don't want to.
Dotty: I'm sure. (Goes and picks up can)
Kirby: Well, I was just saying "hi," as I'm new and Nook told me to go say "hi" to the neighbors or whatever.
Dotty: (eyes all dreamy-like) Oh, NOOK!!! He's soooo DREAMY!!! (Suddenly looks back to tell Kirby about him and no one is there.) Hm? I wonder where she went. Oh well, she must've gone to Nook's. Who wouldn't?! I'd better make sure she doesn't STEAL HIM!!! GRR!! Oh, it's war now, Girl. Ooh boy. You haven't SEEN the real me yet! OH YEAH! (Mad and vicious-like)
Kirby: (is all the way in another acre by now from running away as fast as possible) Ok, that was just WRONG right there. Someone actually thinking Nook is hot? Of all the ridiculous-no-the WRONG and CRAZY ideas. Oh gosh. Ah! My head! (has hands on either side of head) MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! Get out of my head you stupid thoughts of someone actually liking Nook, the idiot of this world, well, besides Rover. AH! Worse thoughts! AH! Get out get out get out! (Rolls on floor still with hands on head and eyes closed trying to forget the stupid thoughts.)
(A half our later.)
Kirby: Ok, I feel better now. That took some draining, but now I'm back to normal. Yessiree. I mean really, what's the big deal.someone actually liking Nook..heheh. (Pause) AHHH! Make it stop!!!
(Another half-our later.)
Kirby: Ok, let's try again. (in notepad) Next citizen-Dotty. Has a weird curse of liking someone whose name I will not mention otherwise I'll probably end up in a coma or something. (back up talking) Ok, I'm going up to the wellnow to meet the mayor after I see the pond and meet "Queenie." What a dumb name. This is the dumbest town ever so far. The only thing that could make this place worse is a know-it-all, bratty, prideful, annoying, thinks-she's-better-than-everyone-else, popular girl.
Will Kirby meet the exact same person she just descibed?
DA!
If so, will she give up and forget about Brinstar?
DA! How will Kirby be able to get back to Nook's at a reasonable hour at this
rate?
DA!
Tune in next week or 2 to see for yourself!
finally gave in to work for Nook until the debt was repaid.
Kirby: Ok, so let's see. (Back at the Train Station's map) There are a few villagers here. And a police place, a tailor's, Nook's stupid shop, and a post office. Ooo! A beach too! Maybe this place won't be so bad after all! Hm hm hm! Now all they need is a mall with a big arcade and huge movie theatre. Oh well. It's better than living back home. So, where to first?
Porter: Why not ...EEEEEEEEEEEKK! Go to EEEKKKK! Your job, EEEEKKK!
Kirby: Shut up, Monkey. I don't need you telling me what to do. Say, how did you know that anyway?
Porter: I EEEEEKKKK! Guessed. It happens all the time with every human that's ever moved into this EEEEEKKKK! Village EEKKKKKK! (Continuous electrocuted spasms.)
Kirby: Well, I'll do that later. Much. Ok, bye now! (Walks off to the post office directs ((left)) ) Ok. A dump on the way to the post office. And if I go one more huge acre than I'll go to the post office and check it out. (Finally gets past train station acre and halfway across the dump ((A-2)) ) Ok, change of plans. (Heavy breathing) I'm going to Nooks. Oh great! Now I have to go all the way back. How am I ever going to get the hang of this???! (Walks all the way 2 acres the other direction and gets to a wooden shack) What IS this? (Reads sign at top) Nooks, Cranny. . . HA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS is a SHOP!? HAHA! This must be a joke. (Stops laughing) No, knowing Nook even just this past night makes me think this definitely belongs to him. (Goes inside)
Nook: Hello! I was wondering if you were ever going to show! HEHEH! Only kidding!
Kirby: Why am I not amused..Anyway, why in the world would I want to come to this wooden dump anyway?
Nook: Because I sold you a bologna sandwich.
Kirby: Excuse me?
Nook: I mean, a house. A Pretty Pony. (Sobs and uses apron to dry tears when he stomach bulges out and his apron goes flying through the door)
Kirby: (wide-eyed) Ok. . .I'm going to pretend that never happened.
Nook: Ok. . .(gets out notepad and writes down as he talks) Note to self: 6th apron bought this year too tight; once again flew off me and out window.
Kirby: It's a door, Einstein.
Nook: Hey, I like that, Einstein. Say, what's it meaning? Can it be sold? How much can I get for one? Where can you find one of these. "Einsteins"?
Kirby: Certainly no where around yourself.
Nook: Well thanks, I know.
Kirby: You can't even recognize an insult when you hear one!
Nook: Well thanks, I know. (Dazed look on face)
Kirby: Ugh! Can we continue?
Nook: Oh, right-your job that you DIDN'T come by for on time. You need to put on this uniform, first of all. (Hands Kirby clothes)
Kirby: Ew! YOU touched it!
Nook: Now who's the Erenbird?
Kirby: (eyes partly closed as in sarcastic) It's "Einstein."
Nook: Whatever. Just change into these clothes.
Kirby: But. . .
Nook: No buts.
Kirby: Are you sure cause yours is pretty b-
Nook: JUST CHANGE INTO THE CLOTHES! Do you need me to dress you or something?!
Kirby: AH EW! Get away! (Rushes outside and changes into uniform) What an ugly shirt. Figures. Whatever, I'll survive it. (Walks back inside)
Nook: Oh, yes. You were truly born to wear that uniform.
Kirby: And if you don't shut up about the uniform, you'll be born to die.
Nook: Oh. Yes. Hmm. Anyway, your first job is to plant these flowers around my shop. And,
Kirby: Eh, whateva! I got it. Sheesh. . .(walks outside) Now where should I plant this bag? (Sarcastically) Oh, wait, I know! (Goes and throws them across the fence on the railroad track.) First job-done and done! (Goes back inside shop) Flowers're done!
Nook: Really? That was fast.
Kirby: Well, I'm, uh, fast. Yeah. Fast. That's me! Heheh-
Nook: I am not sure, but ok. I mean I'm not going to be the one being laughed at when others see what you've done out there.
Kirby: Actually, you probably will be.
Nook: True. That's why, I am rather suspicious, however, that you-
Kirby: OH BE QUIET I DID YOUR STUPID JOB! So, I guess I'm free to leave now, huh?
Nook: Oh not even close! You still have to WORK for me. That was just one job of the deal nd since you got through that quickly, I'll give you 80 bells.
Kirby: 80 BELLS?!
Nook: I know, I know. Too impressively generous for words, huh? Don't worry you can take your time on your un-defying gratitude, I cant wait!
Kirby: (mouth open wide and mad)
Nook: (looks down at wrist as though he's wearing a watch, although he's not) Ok, anytime now!
Kirby: You only pay my 80 bells for all that work? I'm sweating just thinking of the word of throwing some plants over the-I mean digging them into the ground.
Nook: Tsk tsk tsk. That's no way to talk to your boss on your first day of work.
Kirby: Well, you're not a very good one. I hope everyone here isn't as dumb as you are most of the time.
Nook: Hey, that insult reminds me. Kirby, you just moved here from- somewhere, and you haven't met anyone here, have you?
Kirby: Well, even though it's none of your business, no.
Nook: I'm busy working on something now anyway, so why don't I give you a break and you can go meet the others here in Brinstar. And be sure to say hello to the Mayor, too. He'll be by the wishing well, and-
Kirby: Do you have like an "off" button somewhere? Cause if you do, it would be really nice.
Nook: Well, I haven't checked recently, but the last time I did-no.
Kirby: That's too bad. It really is. And anyway, ok ok I'll meet your stupid townsfolk or whatever. Yeah yeah and the mayor too. And besides, what talent of working on something could YOU possibly possess?
Nook: Well, right now, I'm working on learning how to spell my name. (Turns back to Kirby and writes while talks) A. -No no wait! It's N.O.B. NO WAIT! That's not right! N. O. O. D. NO NO NO! Ugh!
Kirby: (to herself) Why do I even bother? (Walks out with Nook still talking to himself) So, where to first? I guess it would be good to meet some of my neighbors, though I don't want to walk around lost all day. Oh well.
(After going back to the train station's map and studying it for a few minutes, Kirby decides the closest house is Peanut's, that is one acre left on Kirby's house.)
Kirby: Ok, so I'll go there. (Walks all the way over to her house thinking the name "Peanut" means it's an elephant) Wow, I'm not as tired as I thought I'd be. So, anyway, I see a house, but no elephant or whatever a peanut is, besides the size of Nook's brain.
(While Kirby is thinking to herself, a pink squirrel comes out of the house and Kirby doesn't even notice it she's so much in thought.)
Peanut: OH! Hi! I don't think I've ever seen you around before.
Kirby: Huh? Who are you?
Peanut: My name's Peanut, a cute name huh? I'm willing to bet your name isn't as cute as mine!
Kirby: Whatever. It's Kirby. And I don't care about "cute" anyway. I'm a tomboy. (NOTE: I, Rebekah, really am a tomboy.)
Peanut: Oh, stop being so tough! Hi, it's cute, but not as cute as mine, like I thought, although it's kinda cute. So, anyway, when did you move here, or are you just visiting?
Kirby: Will you please shut up about the whole cute thing? AndI moved here just last night. And, before you ask, my place is one acre to the right, house to the bottom-right.
Peanut: You mean Pretty Pony?
Kirby: What is with you people and the house-name-calling? (Roles eyes) Yes, "Pretty Pony."
Peanut: Well, be sure you take good care of Pretty Pony. Nook almost loved it.
Kirby: Nook can't even spell his own name yet.
Peanut: Yeah, you have a point. Nevermind. So anyway, I'll see you around, slacker.
Kirby: Hey, I'm not slacker. See this ugly uniform? SEE IT??!!!!
Peanut: No.
Kirby: Excuse me?
Peanut: (cheerfully) You're excused!
Kirby: Whatever-anyway, this uniform, the ugly shirt, was given to me by the "Nook" guy because I now work for him. Well, just until I repay my loan to him for my house.
Peanut: I see, slacker.
Kirby: Stop calling me a slacker! I work ok? I don't see YOU working.
Peanut: I don't see anything at all!
Kirby: Figures. Well, bye now.
Peanut: Bye, slacker!
Kirby: (already turned around to walk away) grrrr.note to self. Peanut:annoying. Very annoying. Calls me slacker for no good reason and apparently has horrible vision. Ok, that went well! Now, let's see, where to next? The next I guess should be "Tybalt." What a horrible name. Anyway, (back at map) let's see. It's pretty far. Well, from there I'll go to the Police Station and say "hi" to them. And then check out the beach, go along the beach until I get to the Tailor's, visit Dotty along the beach, head upwards, see the pond, "Queenie," and the Wishing Well, where supposedly the mayor is. Augh! This is annoying.
(So, she walks across a bridge in Acre B-4 to a section of land and downward to Tybalt's house, acre C-5.)
Kirby: So, this must be Tybalt. A weird yellow tiger. How weird can this place get? (Says while looking at him and his house) I guess I'd better play "good citizen of the day" and introduce myself. (Walks over) Hi. I'm Kirby. I-
Tybalt: (Just staring at ground at nothing like AC characters sometimes do.)
Kirby: (sort of mad thinks) Ok, I'll try again. Maybe he didn't hear me. Or then again, maybe he's just an idiot like everyone else. (Says) Hi, I'm Kirby. I just moved here. And you are? (Friendly holding out hand)
Tybalt: (still stares at ground not noticing anything)
Kirby: HELOOOOOOO???!!!!??
Tybalt: (drooling now still staring at ground)
Kirby: (throws arms up in air and stomps off) Oh, I give up!
Tybalt: (Guess what he's still doing. That's right! Still staring at the ground with eyeballs looking different directions)
Kirby: Ok, second note to self. Next towny-Tybalt. Horrible listener. Probably doesn't even know the alphabet, as a side note. Another idiot, as usual. Ok next I go downward down the hill one acre to the Police Station. K, sounds easy enough, although something will probably go terribly wrong as usual and make it hard.
(So, Kirby walks down past Tybalt's house to a downward hill that's about 1 acre long! She runs down, out of breath at the bottom, and continues on now at Acre E-5, where she sees what she guesses is the police station up ahead in the acre and walks all the way up to it.)
Kirby: (close to station, sees a dog standing outside by a map) Yes! I was about to get lost. Another map! (Runs up to map to look at it.)
Police: Why, hello! Are we a new citizen around here?
Kirby: (looks back to see a huge-headed dog in a police uniform) Huh? Oh, yes, I just moved here last night. I'm guessing you're the police, and this is the police station?
Police: Quite right! Quite right indeed! I'm Copper, and also, inside is my assistant officer. He's a little shaky, however. Still a recruit, see. You catch on fast.
Kirby: Yeah, well, I'm used to it. I just had to adjust to Nook and apparently some cat named "Rover." Don't ask. You don't want to meet him, if you haven't already. But anyway, thanks for the info. So what does this place do anyway?
Copper: This is the police station.
Kirby: Uh, yes. Very good. I see that. I mean what is INSIDE the police station?
Copper: Walls.
Kirby: (getting annoyed but still trying to be nice since this IS the police) Yes, I know. But what is it FOR?
Copper: Well, I, to uphold my rightful duty to protect, can say to others that this is the station where you can find whatever you might have lost in the village. It might be inside here, in the lost and found. Unfortunately, however-
Kirby: (trying to stay awake, but eyes keep slowly shutting as she tries to open them wide again)
Copper: -there is no charge for fallacy claiming lost items. Also, we don't pick up trash left on the ground yet. There just isn't enough time or workers. And furthermore, as a rightful citizen, I hope you do endure this policy well and uphold the peace of Brinstar's community, while focussing on the society's efforts to make this place a brilliant community of shining, safe, peaceable townies and villagers. I, myself, take pride in being the police of Brinstar, since it is my occupation. I do not ever intend to skip my duties unless I have a break. And I also cherish every waking moment of crime fighting. Recently, though, these past years haven't seen too much evil-wrong doings. I am glad these citizens here understand peaceable nature well, as it is important in the community life of all the people and animals alike. Much like yourself, new citizen, Kirby, I do enjoy a good conversation, and nevertheless, I do take pride in my work, as well as training my recruit inside. Whereas he is not as fat along as I am, I willingly give my time up for him. He is a good citizen, too, although sometimes not too bright. Anyway, I do believe also, that all-
(One hour later, literally)
Kirby: (Leaning on station's wall with knees bent standing up sleeping, drooling, and snoring slightly.)
Copper: (still going strong talking an hour later) -which reminds me of an extremely long speech written by the greatest Police of all time. (Gets out huge, huge, long, curling piece of paper with very tiny writing on it and starts reading while doing hard gestures.) Dear friends, fellows, juvenile delinquites, I am a police officer. As a great one, my autobiography is as follows: I was born in a log cabin. Blah blah blah blah blah-
Kirby: (suddenly waking up) Huh? What happened? Oh, its just you. Still.talking.(still half asleep, then suddenly becomes wide-eyed and awake) What am I doing here?
(Copper's still reading speech not noticing Kirby is talking)
Kirby: Ok, I met the police. I hope for the LAST time. (Silently walks off while Copper is dramatically still reading story and gets out notebook) Ok, next. Police named "Copper." Likes to blab about I don't know what. All I head in all his talk was "Yap, yap. Blah, blah. Dribble, dribble, dribble!" Ok next stop. Walk along the beach until I get to the Tailor's, then along the right a few acres until I get to "Dotty's." Oh, this is SOO annoying. I'll be through the entire village by the time I get through all this and back up to Nook's, if I ever even get that far. (So, Kirby walks all the way along the beach until she gets to the Tailor's Shop.) So, this is it. Huh? The Able Sisters? Ok, what a weird name. At least it's bigger than the Police Station. (Walks inside)
Mable: Hi. Welcome to the Able Sister's, where YOU are the famous fashion designer. Hey, are you new?
Kirby: Yes, hi. Uh, I'm just here to see what this place is.
Mable: Oh, ok. Well, please feel free to look around. And if you have any questions, just ask!
Kirby: Yeah, thanks. (Kind of walks around umbrellas and inspects them.) You call THESE fashions?
Amble: Yeah! I call this one "Umbrella Pattern,"
Kirby: Wow, how original. (Sarcastic)
Mable: Well, to be honest, lately no one has been thinking up any good, new designs. Maybe you can change that. You seem like the capable type.
Kirby: Thanks, but no thanks. I don't DO fashion. I'm a tomboy, k?
Mable: I see. Well, if you need anything, I'll be here.
Kirby: Yeah, you told me that. (Thinks) This person is really annoying me now.I am at the top of my anger string right about now, too. Maybe it was a mistake moving to THIS town. (Looks over to a corner of the room) I wonder who that is over there. (Talks to Mable.) Who is that?
Mable: Oh that's my sister, Sable. She is kinda shy.
Kirby: Ok, well whatever. Maybe I can talk to her. I'm pretty capable, like you said. (bragging voice) (walks over to Sable) Hey. My name's Kirby. Who're you?
Sable: (doesn't even look up; just sewing) Um, if you need help, could you please ask the salesclerk over there?
Kirby: I already did. I want to meet you.
Sable:.......
Kirby: Helloooo??
Sable: Um, my claws are full right now.
Mable: What? Hey sis, I'm busy too, ya know!
Sable: (faintly) Patience, just a little patience.
(Mable stares at Sable with a mad look)
Kirby: (looking wide-eyed at both of them with Mable staring at her sister madly and Sable not paying attention-just sewing.) Ok, whatever. Bye you two.
Mable: Grrrrrrrrrrrrr
Sable: (still sewing)
Kirby: Ok, I can tell something maddening is going to happen now, so I'm gonna leave now.yeah.(quickly runs out door) Ok that was weird. I have the weirdest feeling that Mable's going to kill Sable so I'd better hide. (quickly runs behind a nearby tree and right after she does, the whole shop starts shaking and you can hear "grrrrs" and "ahhhhhh!!'s" and pouncing around and mad people or animals inside) Ok, I'm leaving now. I knew it would happen, though, because it's my 6th sense-"danger of the weird, crazy things." I guess I'm used to it from back at home. (Walks off to the left an finally reaches the next acre with the shop still having smoke come out of it and yelping noises inside.)
(Then, finally, Kirby sees a house out in the distance, faintly.)
Kirby: Yes! Finally! I mean I like walking along the beach and all, but this is taking forever just to walk one lousy acre to this "Dotty" person's house. I doubt it'll even be worth it, especially after recalling all the dorks I've met so far. I mean let's think about it.Rover, the monkeys, Nook, Peanut, Tybalt, Copper, and now the weird Able Sisters. Could this place GET any WEIRDER? (Is now at the front of the house from all her talking to herself and sees a rabbit watering the lawn around her house.) Yep, I guess it could.(calls out) Um, you must be Dotty, right?
Dotty: Oh, yes. Hi! Hm? I don't remember you. Who're you?
Kirby: Oh, I was just getting to that. I'm Kirby, and I've been through some of the village since last night. I'm new here, so...
Dotty: Well, uh that's a weird name, sorry to say. Isn't it a boy's name?
Kirby: Well, I am a tomboy, if that counts for anything.
Dotty: Mm, not really.
Kirby: Well it does to me, ok?
Dotty: Fine, fine! No need to get feisty.
Kirby: Feisty? You call THIS feisty? You have GOT to be kidding me. THIS, woman, rabbit, whatever, is NOT feisty.
Dotty: Fine, fine! No need to get feisty.
Kirby: Ok.calm. Think smooth, nice, serene river and birds. (Talks to herself while having palms together and eyes closed and all that and suddenly.) WHICH I'LL SHOOT BECAUSE OF THEIR ANNOYING TWEET SOUNDS!!! (outburst makes Kirby look like she'll explode and then goes back to normal) Ok-
Dotty: (staring at Kirby wide-eyed and confused and almost scared, and then drops her watering can.)
Kirby: -uh, sorry you had to see that.
Dotty: Yeeeaaaahhh, I won't ask.
Kirby: Good, you don't want to.
Dotty: I'm sure. (Goes and picks up can)
Kirby: Well, I was just saying "hi," as I'm new and Nook told me to go say "hi" to the neighbors or whatever.
Dotty: (eyes all dreamy-like) Oh, NOOK!!! He's soooo DREAMY!!! (Suddenly looks back to tell Kirby about him and no one is there.) Hm? I wonder where she went. Oh well, she must've gone to Nook's. Who wouldn't?! I'd better make sure she doesn't STEAL HIM!!! GRR!! Oh, it's war now, Girl. Ooh boy. You haven't SEEN the real me yet! OH YEAH! (Mad and vicious-like)
Kirby: (is all the way in another acre by now from running away as fast as possible) Ok, that was just WRONG right there. Someone actually thinking Nook is hot? Of all the ridiculous-no-the WRONG and CRAZY ideas. Oh gosh. Ah! My head! (has hands on either side of head) MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! Get out of my head you stupid thoughts of someone actually liking Nook, the idiot of this world, well, besides Rover. AH! Worse thoughts! AH! Get out get out get out! (Rolls on floor still with hands on head and eyes closed trying to forget the stupid thoughts.)
(A half our later.)
Kirby: Ok, I feel better now. That took some draining, but now I'm back to normal. Yessiree. I mean really, what's the big deal.someone actually liking Nook..heheh. (Pause) AHHH! Make it stop!!!
(Another half-our later.)
Kirby: Ok, let's try again. (in notepad) Next citizen-Dotty. Has a weird curse of liking someone whose name I will not mention otherwise I'll probably end up in a coma or something. (back up talking) Ok, I'm going up to the wellnow to meet the mayor after I see the pond and meet "Queenie." What a dumb name. This is the dumbest town ever so far. The only thing that could make this place worse is a know-it-all, bratty, prideful, annoying, thinks-she's-better-than-everyone-else, popular girl.
Will Kirby meet the exact same person she just descibed?
DA!
If so, will she give up and forget about Brinstar?
DA! How will Kirby be able to get back to Nook's at a reasonable hour at this
rate?
DA!
Tune in next week or 2 to see for yourself!