If I were in AC 5!
Last time, Kirby was busy exploring her new town after Nook gave her permission to do so at her new job, although she didn't care what he did. After talking to a few townies, she realized everyone she met so far, after exploring about almost half of the places and people in her town, was basicly as dumb as Nook himself! From neighbors who lectured for hours, to sisters who killed each other, to people who thought Nook was hott, Kirby still hadn't seen the worst.
Kirby: (walking upwards until she finally reaches a large, white building ((in one of the E acres)) Woah! I didn't see this thing on the map. I guess I've just been so tired that I haven't been myself after yesterday night with the Rover/Nook debates. Well, let's check it out I guess. (walks in the building to get into a huge room, a tall ceiling, colored floor panellings, with hallways leading to other rooms and an owl inside, sleeping) Ok...am I missing something here? (walks over to owl) Hello?
Owl: (sleeping not noticing anything)
Kirby: HELOOOO??? I need some help here, Mr. Owl! (waves hand in front of its face)
Owl: (still sleeping)
Kirby: ANYONE HOME??!!! (yelling)
Owl: (talking in sleep) Mm, eh, nesting CDs,,,,,mmm
Kirby: Ok????????????? HELLOOO?? (going all around instantly appearing in different spots around owl knocking his head and talking) Hm...he's one stubborn freakazoid.
Owl: Hm? Oh, what a nice nap. (suddenly awake) HUH? Oh, sorry. I seemed to doze off.
Kirby: (standing on top of owl pounding on head) Well, FINALLY!!!
Owl: Well, if you'd please get off my insanely large head.
Kirby: Oh, right, sorry. (gets off) So what is this place?
Owl: I'm Blathers. And this is the Brinstar Museum. Please enjoy your visit After that being said, I must admit there isn't much to see.
Kirby: Well if there's nothing to see, why in the world do you have this stupid thing clogging the way of the village?
Blathers: Because it is an education to rise the community to like and experience the nature of Brinstar. And, the Faraway Museum promotes it.
Kirby: You're one of those annoying "environmentalists" and "educational freaks" aren't you?
Blathers: Yes, i am. But, I can assure you I'm not annoying,ehh wot. I just am concerned about the educational value and environmental establishment of Brinstar, as is the Faraway Museum.
Kirby: Uh huh. SURE you arent. Anyway, what is the Faraway Museum?
Blathers: You've never heard of it? Boy have you been missing out.
Kirby: What on stupidity and educational television?
Blathers: M pretty much yeah.
Kirby: I thought so. So anyway what is it?
Blathers: The faraway museum is a museum who controls many villages and you can send them fossils. In return, they will send them back to you, identified.
Kirby: So? I hate dinosaurs. They're so, old and boring.
Blathers: WHAT? SHAME SHAME! (shame finger thing to Kirby)
Kirby: Oh you lookin' for a fight, huh??? Well then come on, Man. Right here, yeah right now, c'mon, yu chicken! (fighting stance)
Blathers: I don't do violence. BUT there is a policy about fossils. You MUST NOT put them back in the ground if you dig one up, hm? You can also donate them once you identify them with the Faraway Museum.
Kirby: (browsing the walls not caring)
Blathers: (roles eyes and crosses wings) And, you can sell them instead for cash,,,,
Kirby:(jumps back wide-eyed) NOW we're talkin'! Well, thanks for the info. I know enough now! Bye now! (runs out)
Blathers: money. Gets 'em every time...
Kirby: Well, that, I must say, went better than expected. He may be stupid, but fossils must be worth SOMETHING to dumb Nook. Now lets see where to next. Well, (looking at notebook) I kinda got off-course here since now I'm somewhere I didn't plan on being. I think I went too far left. I'll go back right more. (Walks acorss green, June grass in acre until she gets to the other with another river and a bridge((this bridge is stone)) going through the middle of the acre, separating both sides. It curves right. and Kirbby notices a house in this acre) Ok. This house is weird. It has a HEART on the door! Don't TELL me this is some girly-girl's house. I HATE girly girls.
(NOTE: I, Rebekah, don't like girly people either unless they're nice, as a useless side note.)
Kirby: Please, let this not be some girl's house. PLEEEASE!
(A girly girl ostrich walks out of house)
Kirby: sigh. This is my life. . .
Ostrich: (looks at kirby) Oh plEEase! (girly voice)
Kirby: Hey, I dont like you either.
Ostrich: Well, I guess it was rude of, like, me. But, I am completely popular! HEHE!
Kirby: (crosses arms and turns other way, mumbling) Oh, please is right. Show off brat.
Ostrich: Like, HEY! SorRY! Anyway, my name's Queenie. A GREAT name, huh? Oh, don't tell me. I know!
Kirby: So YOURE Queenie. (to herself) that's a shame.
Queenie: Yeah, I'm sure you heard all about me from my slav-I mean co- townies. Hehe! And ALL of it good, I bet. What's not to like about me?? hehe oh what a stupid question. NOTHING! HEHEHEHE! (continuous)
Kirby: (thinks) Well, I could name a few from these few seconds. (says) Well, uh, I'm Kirby.
Queenie: Augh! Did my royalness ASK for your name? And Kirby? What a SAD name! Like, I didn't mean that. Well, I just didn't really mean for you to hear it, I guess.
Kirby: Well, then I guess I don't mean for you to hear that you're a total snobby brat either.
Queenie: Oh, jealousy. Gets ALL my new slav-I mean townies every time.
Kirby: Look, here, that's another thing. I'm NOT going to become your stupid slave that you think you can boss around. I've been in Middle School, and I know what to expect from popular show-offs like YOU. All the others here are complete idiots, I agree. So, I can see why THEY would follow yu. However, I'm a bit more advanced then that.
Queenie: like, DONT CARE! (Gets mirror out and looks at her hair and turns her head to get different angle look)
Kirby: Well, I dont care either!
Queenie: Well, I would love to talk to you, uh, Slave #9 or wait hold on! (gets out a piece of paper and writes/checks) Yes, slave #9. Good, good. Well, see you around. I, the Almighty QUEEN, must go do something more important than you, which is well, everything! HEhe! Well, see you! (waves and walks off)
Kirby: (arms to sides and hands in fists) GRRRRR. . .this place and people are NOT going as I would have liked. AUGH! (gets notebook and writes hard) Next person, a complete stuck-up snob; a complete freak too. At least she has a bit more I.Q. intelligence than the rest of the townies, I admit. Considers me a slave. Note to self: I will NOT BECOME HER SLAVE!!! (puts notebook in pocket) Ok, anyway! Where was I? Ah, yes. Go to the well, which, according to this, should be up there one acre. This whole "acre- division" map is driving me crazy! Almost as much as these dumb and annoying citizens. (walks and walks and walks up until she finally reaches the next acre and sees a huge, stone plaza and an old turtle.) Uh ok. NOT going to ask. (Goes up to turtle.) Uh, hi?
Turtle: ICE! (eyes wide open and old-voice when he said that. Falls down on shell and squirms around 'cause he can't get up.)
Kirby: You know, I could just leave you there and give myself a lot less pain of your stupidity, but I suppose I'll let you up for my reputation's sake. And because you remind me of my brother-except he does that for no good reason. (Pulls his arm up getting him back on his feet.)
Turtle: Well, thank you, whippersnapper.
Kirby: Whatever
Turtle: Tell me, who do you respect the most? Your mom, dad, grandma, or grandpa?
Kirby: I dont DO family, Man. (roles eyes and crosses arms)
Turtle: Well, then who do you respect the most?
Kirby: And WHY does that matter to the likes of YOU?
Turtle: I am the mayor of the town.
Kirby: Heheh, so?
Turtle: You should be a good little whippersnapper and tell me. I think you're a good kid, I think. (starts singing and doing body-motions)I, oh, I am a teacup short and stout! Here is my handle, here is my stout! When I get all-(continues)
Kirby: (raises eyebrows) What in the WORLD are you doing?
Turtle: OOOOOOOH! When I get all filled up hear me shout! "Tip me over and pour me out."! Da da! Thank you, thank you.
Kirby: Hm. Tell me, Mr. Mayor-
Turtle: (interrupting) Oh! Call me Augalnamaniphicglohiph!
Kirby: -excuse me?
Turtle: oh sorry. I meant Tortimer. I tend to forget me name these days.
Kirby: I'm sure. Anyway, I was going to say before I was so RUDELY interruped, that do you all have some sort of mental facility around here? If not, you all could surely use one.
Tortimer: Nope! But we do have the well here. (points cane to well)
Kirby: So what do you all do? Drown your cohorts when they get to the point of madness?
Tortimer: No. But we do enjoy the process of taking turns pretending we're birds in a birdbath.
Kirby: Your strategies and logic levels remind me of Rover.
Tortimer: Rover? So I'm Rover?
Kirby: NO! You REMIND me of Rover.
Tortimer: So Rover reminded me of my name? By golly, I'll have to thank him!
Kirby: AUGH NO! Just forget it.
Tortimer: I still like Augalnamaniphicglohiph.
Kirby: Hm. Too bad I don't care.
Tortimer: Yep.
(silence)
Tortimer: So you never answered my question.
Kirby: What was that? What a brain is?
Tortimer: No, who you respect the most.
Kirby: Certainly not you.
Tortimer: Yep thanks for the compliment but really, your mom, dad, grandma, or grandpa?
Kirby: Which will make you shut up?
Tortimer: ICE! Oh, sorry. Anyway, i have no idea.
Kirby: Ok, I respect. Respect... I(sad look). . .I dont respect any of them ok? Now just leave me alone!
Tortimer: Well you must respect someone?
Kirby: No! I just DON'T ok? and of anyone in the world, certainly not my family. I dont want to respect those jerks. That's why I left home in the first place!!
Tortimer: Mm, I see. Well, this reminds me of the invention of food in 65,438,934,239 B.C. Ah there are great food then. I just remember the time I was the first one to step on the moon, first to climb Mt. Everest, first to taste food, first to invent the "I am a Teapot" song, first to-
Kirby: You were never even alive then! Well wait, you probably were, which is so stupid and sad it's almost. . . as annoying as. . .NOOK! You! What time is it? (strangles Tortimer)
Tortimer: (stragnled voice) First to invent time. . .
Kirby: AUGH! Nevermind you! (throws him on ground) I have to get back to. . .somewhere! Either Nook's dump or my house; I won't ever find it though. Where am I anyway? YOU! (strangles him again) Where is my house?
Tortimer: First to invent houses. . .oh i mean! Uh if you would just please let go of my *cough* neck *cough*.
Kirby: FINE! (lets him go) Now tell me!
Tortimer: (gets out a rocking chair from no where and sits down and sways and starts knitting) This reminds me of the Ice Age of 156,425,754 B.C. Oh it was a cold one, it was!
Kirby: GRRRRRRR!!! (picks up rocking chair and walks over to well and plunges Tortimer ((still in chair)) head first into well) Maybe next time you'll THINK before you speak there. Later, Dude. (waves as she runs off and finally makes it across well acre with Tortimer still squirming around in chair in well) (While running gets out notebook) Ok, I met the Mayor, who I don't EVER should be mayor, no wait, for this town he probably should... anyway, he seems to be extreeemley old. Don't EVER talk to him unless you must, as another "Note to Self." (puts in away) Let's see. Next I was supposed to see the lake, but who cares about that anyway? I'll go, go, go...I don't know where I even am!! I only drew a "map" on my notebook to this point. That was stupid. don't tell me the retardedness from the villagers is spreading!! Wait, who am I talking to? AH! That's creepy...Anyway, I could go find Queenie, but what good is she? I guess I'll just walk around and hope I find someone...(walks left ((to Acre D-2)) ) Well, no one's here. O well...
(So, she walks around, investigating the trees and other things, and almost gets lost in the acre, calling out to anyone who might be around. After about 10 minutes of this, Kirby goes and finds a rock to sit down.)
Kirby: This is hopeless. I'm never going to find anyone! Now, I don't even know where the well is anymore. Great...(slouches) (Suddenly, sees a figure in distance and squints) Hey! I think someone is out there! Hey!! YOU!! (Runs off waving)
Figure: HUh? Who's there?
Kirby: Me! Kirby! (runs closer and sees the figure is a pink mouse and catches up) Hi. I'm Kirby. I just moved here last night. Who are you and where am I?
Mouse: I'm Candi, and you'll always have a suuurrrprise to go to when you talk to me! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Kirby: Uh...ok??? (then thinks) Then I guess I wont be talking to YOU much...
Candi: Ok, sorry. Anyway, I am a suuuuuuurprising mouse! And I loooooooove candy!! So watch out, if you catch my drift, and you're in Acre D-1, which means my house is over on Acre E-1, up there on that cliff on the edge. (points)
Kirby: So if I'm supposed to go to acre "A-4," how do I get there from here?
Candi: I LOVE CANDY!!!
Kirby: TELL ME!
Candi: Oh, yeah I forgot. HAHAHAHA! Oh sorry. Anyway, go up the hill youll see up there, then keep going up and up until theres no more up to go and go right. Then get me some candy.
Kirby: Uh HUH...RIIIIGHT. Well, thats all then. Thanks, but I have no "suuuuuuurpises" for you.
Candi: (sad) awwwwwwwwwww
Kirby: Ok fine Heres mine. Close your eyes against that cliff wall *because theres a cliff where they're talking ((Acre D-1)) ) and count to 10,375,924! Then, open your eyes and move two inches left and do it again, except that time count to 24,478. Ok?
Candi: Duh...ok!
Kirby: Good! Well, start!
Candi: (faces wall) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,...
Kirby: (finds tree, shakes it and loads of leaves fall, gathers them, dumps them on Candi)
Candi: (stops counting but doesnt move) WIll I get my surprise then?
Kirby: Yep. It'll be surprising all right. I guarantee it.
Candi: Ok! Now where was I? Oh ya! ...6,7,8,9,...
Kirby: Glad that's over. (walks off and thinks) Well, I do feel bad about doing that to someone, even if they are stupid. Anyway, I guess I should go back...but I can do that later. I mean after all, she will be counting to 10,375,924. For all I know, she could just be there for days, if she's as bad as counting as Nook is, but that's a rare find, fortunetly.
(So, Kirby walks up to a hill like Candi said, walks up there, being tired at the top, and keeps going up to "when she can't go any higher" as Candi had said. But before she got to that "spot" she found herself in a large acre with two houses. Suspecting more villagers, she looks around.)
Kirby: Hm. I dont see anyone here. Odd. Well, it does save me the time of more randomly boring talk. I'll just keep on walking. (keeps going when suddenly a mumified dog jumps out in front of her)
Dog: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAW! And how may I interest you today?
Kirby: AH! Get away you freak! I've got gardenning tools!
Dog: Oh, sorry, I was waiting for someone, but meanwhile, who are you?
Kirby: Kirby. "Pleased" to meet your aquaintence...not really though.
Dog: Well, I'm Lucky.
Kirby: Why do you name yourself that? To me, it looks like you aren't that lucky. I mean come on, BANDAGES? and one eye? Ok??? Lucky huh?
Lucky: Well, I'm lucky to be alive.
Kirby: Uh dude? Youre a mummy. That kinda means you're dead, right?
Lucky: Hey I never thought of it that way, but I don't think of much.
Kirby: My point exactly. Well, I'll be on my way. (waves and starts off.)
Lucky: Not so fast. Go to your room and don't come out until you've thought about you've been doing, young lady.
Kirby: What did you call me?!! Come on, let's battle fool!
Lucky: Ah! Mommy! (Swirves and runs into house, slamming door.)
Kirby: Ok...(keeps walking) I guess the other isn't here now. Oh well, its not like I honestly care. No, wait, I care. I would rather NOT talk to them, especially with the ways things have been going lately today.
(Walks up to A-1 where there's a post office and a big board.)
Kirby: Hm. so THIS is the post office. I remember...(looks left and sees a dump yard in the distance) Yeeeeah I was going to try to get here before, but I didn't have enough energy. After all this walking, I am pretty tired, and I don't know how many hours I've been wandering. That's the last time I listen to Nook to run around and talk to people. Hold on...i LISTENED to him? Not a good sign there. Anyway, let's check this place out. (Walks in and closes door) Hm...interesting. (walks up to white pelican)
Pelican: Hello there! I'm Pelly, can I help you?
Kirby: Mm no not really. Well, do you know where Nook's shop is? See, I'm new here, and...yeah. I know I'm close, but I just want to confirm some information about it.
Pelly: Well, I can assuredly tell you that Nook's shop is on Acre A-4, which is completely left of here. Is that all?
Kirby: Yeah. (about to turn around but then) Oh! What is this place for?
Pelly: Well, to make things short, its the Post Office.
Kirby: (thinks) DUR!! (says) What do you do here then...?
Pelly: You can send mail, with or without attatched presents, save mail you get in your own Mail Box, and deposit or withdraw money if you don't have a loan to repay.
Kirby: Well...ok. I guess. Bye. (Walks back toward door)
Pelly: (Just as Kirby opens door) Oh and Kirby!
Kirby: (turns)
Pelly: (closes eyes like ^_^) Welcome to Brinstar!
Kirby: Oh, thanks. (thinks) I guess one of these townies actually knows something or two. It's a first! (closes door and walks left more and more and more, taking a few quick stops here and there thinking about her whole random animal-finding and place-discovering tour of her new home town. Also, it was only a matter of time before her family started going crazy searching every square inch of every town and city. Great...why can't they just leave her alone for awhile??? That's why she left in the first place- because of them and their annoying ways. Well, enough about them. Her tour had been odd. Everyone was pretty weird. Every place looked practically the same. There was no telling how long these "jobs" would be or how she wouldn't get lost all the time around here. But she pressed onward and about 25 min later got to Nook's shop. From the sun's stance, she could tell it was a little after noon and walked inside Nook's.)
Nook: (still facing other way still trying to spell his name right from hrs ago) NO! was it C. O. A...NO!!! A. O N. No! Sun! No! Pan? No tree! AH!! (flings notebook and pencil away from him and turns around) I am SO confused!
Kirby: (raises eyebrows but says nothing)
Nook: Oh! Welcome! Hey! Do I know you?
Kirby: (about to answer sarcastically again but then thinks) Nope! Sorry! Guess not! Bye! (turns)
Nook: Oh now I remember you...I think...I...uh...and...*snoooooooooooooooore* (falls asleep standing up head-bent)
Kirby: (thinks) well, I could just walk out, as he will wake up with a concusion from that boulder last night and not remember anything, but that almost seems...well I dont know but I guess I might as well wake him up. (grabs shovel from his shopping counter and wacks his huge head)
Nook: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Dancing poles!!! (stops) Can I help you?
Kirby: ITS ME YOU OAF!!
Nook: oh right! I...who?
Will Nook get him memory back and make Kirby do more jobs?
DA!
If so, how many more jobs are there?
DA!
Will Kirby have to revisit the fools in town?
DA!
Tune in later for the answers to these questions and more!!
Last time, Kirby was busy exploring her new town after Nook gave her permission to do so at her new job, although she didn't care what he did. After talking to a few townies, she realized everyone she met so far, after exploring about almost half of the places and people in her town, was basicly as dumb as Nook himself! From neighbors who lectured for hours, to sisters who killed each other, to people who thought Nook was hott, Kirby still hadn't seen the worst.
Kirby: (walking upwards until she finally reaches a large, white building ((in one of the E acres)) Woah! I didn't see this thing on the map. I guess I've just been so tired that I haven't been myself after yesterday night with the Rover/Nook debates. Well, let's check it out I guess. (walks in the building to get into a huge room, a tall ceiling, colored floor panellings, with hallways leading to other rooms and an owl inside, sleeping) Ok...am I missing something here? (walks over to owl) Hello?
Owl: (sleeping not noticing anything)
Kirby: HELOOOO??? I need some help here, Mr. Owl! (waves hand in front of its face)
Owl: (still sleeping)
Kirby: ANYONE HOME??!!! (yelling)
Owl: (talking in sleep) Mm, eh, nesting CDs,,,,,mmm
Kirby: Ok????????????? HELLOOO?? (going all around instantly appearing in different spots around owl knocking his head and talking) Hm...he's one stubborn freakazoid.
Owl: Hm? Oh, what a nice nap. (suddenly awake) HUH? Oh, sorry. I seemed to doze off.
Kirby: (standing on top of owl pounding on head) Well, FINALLY!!!
Owl: Well, if you'd please get off my insanely large head.
Kirby: Oh, right, sorry. (gets off) So what is this place?
Owl: I'm Blathers. And this is the Brinstar Museum. Please enjoy your visit After that being said, I must admit there isn't much to see.
Kirby: Well if there's nothing to see, why in the world do you have this stupid thing clogging the way of the village?
Blathers: Because it is an education to rise the community to like and experience the nature of Brinstar. And, the Faraway Museum promotes it.
Kirby: You're one of those annoying "environmentalists" and "educational freaks" aren't you?
Blathers: Yes, i am. But, I can assure you I'm not annoying,ehh wot. I just am concerned about the educational value and environmental establishment of Brinstar, as is the Faraway Museum.
Kirby: Uh huh. SURE you arent. Anyway, what is the Faraway Museum?
Blathers: You've never heard of it? Boy have you been missing out.
Kirby: What on stupidity and educational television?
Blathers: M pretty much yeah.
Kirby: I thought so. So anyway what is it?
Blathers: The faraway museum is a museum who controls many villages and you can send them fossils. In return, they will send them back to you, identified.
Kirby: So? I hate dinosaurs. They're so, old and boring.
Blathers: WHAT? SHAME SHAME! (shame finger thing to Kirby)
Kirby: Oh you lookin' for a fight, huh??? Well then come on, Man. Right here, yeah right now, c'mon, yu chicken! (fighting stance)
Blathers: I don't do violence. BUT there is a policy about fossils. You MUST NOT put them back in the ground if you dig one up, hm? You can also donate them once you identify them with the Faraway Museum.
Kirby: (browsing the walls not caring)
Blathers: (roles eyes and crosses wings) And, you can sell them instead for cash,,,,
Kirby:(jumps back wide-eyed) NOW we're talkin'! Well, thanks for the info. I know enough now! Bye now! (runs out)
Blathers: money. Gets 'em every time...
Kirby: Well, that, I must say, went better than expected. He may be stupid, but fossils must be worth SOMETHING to dumb Nook. Now lets see where to next. Well, (looking at notebook) I kinda got off-course here since now I'm somewhere I didn't plan on being. I think I went too far left. I'll go back right more. (Walks acorss green, June grass in acre until she gets to the other with another river and a bridge((this bridge is stone)) going through the middle of the acre, separating both sides. It curves right. and Kirbby notices a house in this acre) Ok. This house is weird. It has a HEART on the door! Don't TELL me this is some girly-girl's house. I HATE girly girls.
(NOTE: I, Rebekah, don't like girly people either unless they're nice, as a useless side note.)
Kirby: Please, let this not be some girl's house. PLEEEASE!
(A girly girl ostrich walks out of house)
Kirby: sigh. This is my life. . .
Ostrich: (looks at kirby) Oh plEEase! (girly voice)
Kirby: Hey, I dont like you either.
Ostrich: Well, I guess it was rude of, like, me. But, I am completely popular! HEHE!
Kirby: (crosses arms and turns other way, mumbling) Oh, please is right. Show off brat.
Ostrich: Like, HEY! SorRY! Anyway, my name's Queenie. A GREAT name, huh? Oh, don't tell me. I know!
Kirby: So YOURE Queenie. (to herself) that's a shame.
Queenie: Yeah, I'm sure you heard all about me from my slav-I mean co- townies. Hehe! And ALL of it good, I bet. What's not to like about me?? hehe oh what a stupid question. NOTHING! HEHEHEHE! (continuous)
Kirby: (thinks) Well, I could name a few from these few seconds. (says) Well, uh, I'm Kirby.
Queenie: Augh! Did my royalness ASK for your name? And Kirby? What a SAD name! Like, I didn't mean that. Well, I just didn't really mean for you to hear it, I guess.
Kirby: Well, then I guess I don't mean for you to hear that you're a total snobby brat either.
Queenie: Oh, jealousy. Gets ALL my new slav-I mean townies every time.
Kirby: Look, here, that's another thing. I'm NOT going to become your stupid slave that you think you can boss around. I've been in Middle School, and I know what to expect from popular show-offs like YOU. All the others here are complete idiots, I agree. So, I can see why THEY would follow yu. However, I'm a bit more advanced then that.
Queenie: like, DONT CARE! (Gets mirror out and looks at her hair and turns her head to get different angle look)
Kirby: Well, I dont care either!
Queenie: Well, I would love to talk to you, uh, Slave #9 or wait hold on! (gets out a piece of paper and writes/checks) Yes, slave #9. Good, good. Well, see you around. I, the Almighty QUEEN, must go do something more important than you, which is well, everything! HEhe! Well, see you! (waves and walks off)
Kirby: (arms to sides and hands in fists) GRRRRR. . .this place and people are NOT going as I would have liked. AUGH! (gets notebook and writes hard) Next person, a complete stuck-up snob; a complete freak too. At least she has a bit more I.Q. intelligence than the rest of the townies, I admit. Considers me a slave. Note to self: I will NOT BECOME HER SLAVE!!! (puts notebook in pocket) Ok, anyway! Where was I? Ah, yes. Go to the well, which, according to this, should be up there one acre. This whole "acre- division" map is driving me crazy! Almost as much as these dumb and annoying citizens. (walks and walks and walks up until she finally reaches the next acre and sees a huge, stone plaza and an old turtle.) Uh ok. NOT going to ask. (Goes up to turtle.) Uh, hi?
Turtle: ICE! (eyes wide open and old-voice when he said that. Falls down on shell and squirms around 'cause he can't get up.)
Kirby: You know, I could just leave you there and give myself a lot less pain of your stupidity, but I suppose I'll let you up for my reputation's sake. And because you remind me of my brother-except he does that for no good reason. (Pulls his arm up getting him back on his feet.)
Turtle: Well, thank you, whippersnapper.
Kirby: Whatever
Turtle: Tell me, who do you respect the most? Your mom, dad, grandma, or grandpa?
Kirby: I dont DO family, Man. (roles eyes and crosses arms)
Turtle: Well, then who do you respect the most?
Kirby: And WHY does that matter to the likes of YOU?
Turtle: I am the mayor of the town.
Kirby: Heheh, so?
Turtle: You should be a good little whippersnapper and tell me. I think you're a good kid, I think. (starts singing and doing body-motions)I, oh, I am a teacup short and stout! Here is my handle, here is my stout! When I get all-(continues)
Kirby: (raises eyebrows) What in the WORLD are you doing?
Turtle: OOOOOOOH! When I get all filled up hear me shout! "Tip me over and pour me out."! Da da! Thank you, thank you.
Kirby: Hm. Tell me, Mr. Mayor-
Turtle: (interrupting) Oh! Call me Augalnamaniphicglohiph!
Kirby: -excuse me?
Turtle: oh sorry. I meant Tortimer. I tend to forget me name these days.
Kirby: I'm sure. Anyway, I was going to say before I was so RUDELY interruped, that do you all have some sort of mental facility around here? If not, you all could surely use one.
Tortimer: Nope! But we do have the well here. (points cane to well)
Kirby: So what do you all do? Drown your cohorts when they get to the point of madness?
Tortimer: No. But we do enjoy the process of taking turns pretending we're birds in a birdbath.
Kirby: Your strategies and logic levels remind me of Rover.
Tortimer: Rover? So I'm Rover?
Kirby: NO! You REMIND me of Rover.
Tortimer: So Rover reminded me of my name? By golly, I'll have to thank him!
Kirby: AUGH NO! Just forget it.
Tortimer: I still like Augalnamaniphicglohiph.
Kirby: Hm. Too bad I don't care.
Tortimer: Yep.
(silence)
Tortimer: So you never answered my question.
Kirby: What was that? What a brain is?
Tortimer: No, who you respect the most.
Kirby: Certainly not you.
Tortimer: Yep thanks for the compliment but really, your mom, dad, grandma, or grandpa?
Kirby: Which will make you shut up?
Tortimer: ICE! Oh, sorry. Anyway, i have no idea.
Kirby: Ok, I respect. Respect... I(sad look). . .I dont respect any of them ok? Now just leave me alone!
Tortimer: Well you must respect someone?
Kirby: No! I just DON'T ok? and of anyone in the world, certainly not my family. I dont want to respect those jerks. That's why I left home in the first place!!
Tortimer: Mm, I see. Well, this reminds me of the invention of food in 65,438,934,239 B.C. Ah there are great food then. I just remember the time I was the first one to step on the moon, first to climb Mt. Everest, first to taste food, first to invent the "I am a Teapot" song, first to-
Kirby: You were never even alive then! Well wait, you probably were, which is so stupid and sad it's almost. . . as annoying as. . .NOOK! You! What time is it? (strangles Tortimer)
Tortimer: (stragnled voice) First to invent time. . .
Kirby: AUGH! Nevermind you! (throws him on ground) I have to get back to. . .somewhere! Either Nook's dump or my house; I won't ever find it though. Where am I anyway? YOU! (strangles him again) Where is my house?
Tortimer: First to invent houses. . .oh i mean! Uh if you would just please let go of my *cough* neck *cough*.
Kirby: FINE! (lets him go) Now tell me!
Tortimer: (gets out a rocking chair from no where and sits down and sways and starts knitting) This reminds me of the Ice Age of 156,425,754 B.C. Oh it was a cold one, it was!
Kirby: GRRRRRRR!!! (picks up rocking chair and walks over to well and plunges Tortimer ((still in chair)) head first into well) Maybe next time you'll THINK before you speak there. Later, Dude. (waves as she runs off and finally makes it across well acre with Tortimer still squirming around in chair in well) (While running gets out notebook) Ok, I met the Mayor, who I don't EVER should be mayor, no wait, for this town he probably should... anyway, he seems to be extreeemley old. Don't EVER talk to him unless you must, as another "Note to Self." (puts in away) Let's see. Next I was supposed to see the lake, but who cares about that anyway? I'll go, go, go...I don't know where I even am!! I only drew a "map" on my notebook to this point. That was stupid. don't tell me the retardedness from the villagers is spreading!! Wait, who am I talking to? AH! That's creepy...Anyway, I could go find Queenie, but what good is she? I guess I'll just walk around and hope I find someone...(walks left ((to Acre D-2)) ) Well, no one's here. O well...
(So, she walks around, investigating the trees and other things, and almost gets lost in the acre, calling out to anyone who might be around. After about 10 minutes of this, Kirby goes and finds a rock to sit down.)
Kirby: This is hopeless. I'm never going to find anyone! Now, I don't even know where the well is anymore. Great...(slouches) (Suddenly, sees a figure in distance and squints) Hey! I think someone is out there! Hey!! YOU!! (Runs off waving)
Figure: HUh? Who's there?
Kirby: Me! Kirby! (runs closer and sees the figure is a pink mouse and catches up) Hi. I'm Kirby. I just moved here last night. Who are you and where am I?
Mouse: I'm Candi, and you'll always have a suuurrrprise to go to when you talk to me! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Kirby: Uh...ok??? (then thinks) Then I guess I wont be talking to YOU much...
Candi: Ok, sorry. Anyway, I am a suuuuuuurprising mouse! And I loooooooove candy!! So watch out, if you catch my drift, and you're in Acre D-1, which means my house is over on Acre E-1, up there on that cliff on the edge. (points)
Kirby: So if I'm supposed to go to acre "A-4," how do I get there from here?
Candi: I LOVE CANDY!!!
Kirby: TELL ME!
Candi: Oh, yeah I forgot. HAHAHAHA! Oh sorry. Anyway, go up the hill youll see up there, then keep going up and up until theres no more up to go and go right. Then get me some candy.
Kirby: Uh HUH...RIIIIGHT. Well, thats all then. Thanks, but I have no "suuuuuuurpises" for you.
Candi: (sad) awwwwwwwwwww
Kirby: Ok fine Heres mine. Close your eyes against that cliff wall *because theres a cliff where they're talking ((Acre D-1)) ) and count to 10,375,924! Then, open your eyes and move two inches left and do it again, except that time count to 24,478. Ok?
Candi: Duh...ok!
Kirby: Good! Well, start!
Candi: (faces wall) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,...
Kirby: (finds tree, shakes it and loads of leaves fall, gathers them, dumps them on Candi)
Candi: (stops counting but doesnt move) WIll I get my surprise then?
Kirby: Yep. It'll be surprising all right. I guarantee it.
Candi: Ok! Now where was I? Oh ya! ...6,7,8,9,...
Kirby: Glad that's over. (walks off and thinks) Well, I do feel bad about doing that to someone, even if they are stupid. Anyway, I guess I should go back...but I can do that later. I mean after all, she will be counting to 10,375,924. For all I know, she could just be there for days, if she's as bad as counting as Nook is, but that's a rare find, fortunetly.
(So, Kirby walks up to a hill like Candi said, walks up there, being tired at the top, and keeps going up to "when she can't go any higher" as Candi had said. But before she got to that "spot" she found herself in a large acre with two houses. Suspecting more villagers, she looks around.)
Kirby: Hm. I dont see anyone here. Odd. Well, it does save me the time of more randomly boring talk. I'll just keep on walking. (keeps going when suddenly a mumified dog jumps out in front of her)
Dog: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAW! And how may I interest you today?
Kirby: AH! Get away you freak! I've got gardenning tools!
Dog: Oh, sorry, I was waiting for someone, but meanwhile, who are you?
Kirby: Kirby. "Pleased" to meet your aquaintence...not really though.
Dog: Well, I'm Lucky.
Kirby: Why do you name yourself that? To me, it looks like you aren't that lucky. I mean come on, BANDAGES? and one eye? Ok??? Lucky huh?
Lucky: Well, I'm lucky to be alive.
Kirby: Uh dude? Youre a mummy. That kinda means you're dead, right?
Lucky: Hey I never thought of it that way, but I don't think of much.
Kirby: My point exactly. Well, I'll be on my way. (waves and starts off.)
Lucky: Not so fast. Go to your room and don't come out until you've thought about you've been doing, young lady.
Kirby: What did you call me?!! Come on, let's battle fool!
Lucky: Ah! Mommy! (Swirves and runs into house, slamming door.)
Kirby: Ok...(keeps walking) I guess the other isn't here now. Oh well, its not like I honestly care. No, wait, I care. I would rather NOT talk to them, especially with the ways things have been going lately today.
(Walks up to A-1 where there's a post office and a big board.)
Kirby: Hm. so THIS is the post office. I remember...(looks left and sees a dump yard in the distance) Yeeeeah I was going to try to get here before, but I didn't have enough energy. After all this walking, I am pretty tired, and I don't know how many hours I've been wandering. That's the last time I listen to Nook to run around and talk to people. Hold on...i LISTENED to him? Not a good sign there. Anyway, let's check this place out. (Walks in and closes door) Hm...interesting. (walks up to white pelican)
Pelican: Hello there! I'm Pelly, can I help you?
Kirby: Mm no not really. Well, do you know where Nook's shop is? See, I'm new here, and...yeah. I know I'm close, but I just want to confirm some information about it.
Pelly: Well, I can assuredly tell you that Nook's shop is on Acre A-4, which is completely left of here. Is that all?
Kirby: Yeah. (about to turn around but then) Oh! What is this place for?
Pelly: Well, to make things short, its the Post Office.
Kirby: (thinks) DUR!! (says) What do you do here then...?
Pelly: You can send mail, with or without attatched presents, save mail you get in your own Mail Box, and deposit or withdraw money if you don't have a loan to repay.
Kirby: Well...ok. I guess. Bye. (Walks back toward door)
Pelly: (Just as Kirby opens door) Oh and Kirby!
Kirby: (turns)
Pelly: (closes eyes like ^_^) Welcome to Brinstar!
Kirby: Oh, thanks. (thinks) I guess one of these townies actually knows something or two. It's a first! (closes door and walks left more and more and more, taking a few quick stops here and there thinking about her whole random animal-finding and place-discovering tour of her new home town. Also, it was only a matter of time before her family started going crazy searching every square inch of every town and city. Great...why can't they just leave her alone for awhile??? That's why she left in the first place- because of them and their annoying ways. Well, enough about them. Her tour had been odd. Everyone was pretty weird. Every place looked practically the same. There was no telling how long these "jobs" would be or how she wouldn't get lost all the time around here. But she pressed onward and about 25 min later got to Nook's shop. From the sun's stance, she could tell it was a little after noon and walked inside Nook's.)
Nook: (still facing other way still trying to spell his name right from hrs ago) NO! was it C. O. A...NO!!! A. O N. No! Sun! No! Pan? No tree! AH!! (flings notebook and pencil away from him and turns around) I am SO confused!
Kirby: (raises eyebrows but says nothing)
Nook: Oh! Welcome! Hey! Do I know you?
Kirby: (about to answer sarcastically again but then thinks) Nope! Sorry! Guess not! Bye! (turns)
Nook: Oh now I remember you...I think...I...uh...and...*snoooooooooooooooore* (falls asleep standing up head-bent)
Kirby: (thinks) well, I could just walk out, as he will wake up with a concusion from that boulder last night and not remember anything, but that almost seems...well I dont know but I guess I might as well wake him up. (grabs shovel from his shopping counter and wacks his huge head)
Nook: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Dancing poles!!! (stops) Can I help you?
Kirby: ITS ME YOU OAF!!
Nook: oh right! I...who?
Will Nook get him memory back and make Kirby do more jobs?
DA!
If so, how many more jobs are there?
DA!
Will Kirby have to revisit the fools in town?
DA!
Tune in later for the answers to these questions and more!!