TITLE: Underneath It All
RATING: PG-13, to be safe.
SPOILERS: Do the Math, and I think probably Anonymous, now that I think of it.
PAIRING: J/A
DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters or Joan of Arcadia. Barbara Hall owns them.
Author's Note: I think this chapter is my favorite. It came easily and I wrote it quickly. This is the fourth part of a five part story. So my next section will be the last for this story. Thanks to everyone for their reviews! Enjoy!!!
Chapter 4: Carrying The Burden
Chemistry never ceased to bring her mood down. Joan found herself glancing at the clock countless times during the period, and prayed that she wouldn't be called on. That was the only way to survive the class, Joan mused. Grace and Adam made the time go that much faster by just being there. However, today only Grace was there with her. Joan looked to Grace to see her smudging marks a little on the lab desk, obviously quite bored. Adam usually drew during class, as well, Joan thought, even though he wasn't here today. Joan only found her mind traveling to the night before remembering Adam's apparent need for her, despite his inability to share. Actually, it was all her mind thought of at the moment.
Grace suddenly leaned over to her. "Where's Rove?" she whispered.
Joan just shrugged, not making eye contact. "Why should I know?"
Grace's face showed her interest in such a comment, strange to be coming from Joan of all people. "I just thought you would know ... because, I don't know," she began sarcastically, "... you're his girlfriend."
Joan then turned to look at Grace. "He hasn't actually been forthcoming to me recently, and our schedules have been all messed up."
Grace smirked, "I don't know about the talking thing, but the schedules haven't stopped you before. You two always find time to show PDA's, always around each other. It's disgusting, by the way. But not having it happen suddenly has raised my curiosity."
"If anyone should know where he is, maybe it's you. You are his best friend," Joan countered.
"Know where who is?" Adam asked as he sneaked into the class behind Joan, assuming his seat next to her. Joan looked over to him, her mood changing automatically. She could now see the worry on his face, the worry that didn't go away. It was still tracing his features, and she desperately wanted to make him feel better. Perhaps that night would be his time to tell her.
Grace jumped in, breaking Joan's thoughts, "Joan was wondering where her make-out buddy was."
Joan shot Grace an angry look, whispering harshly, "I was not!" Joan turned back to Adam, and insisted, "I didn't say that."
Adam nodded, smiling a little. "Well, I'm here now, yo."
Joan squeezed his hand, and would've kissed him there, but decided it was best not to. They were in class, after all. However, she did lean a little closer to him and asked, "Where were you?"
Adam shrugged, and was about to answer, but suddenly realized they were being watched. Mrs. Lischak was now standing in front of their lab desk, hands on her hips. "Care to share, Miss Girardi?"
Joan smiled sheepishly, looking around the room seeing everyone staring at her. Her brother shot her a very amused look, waiting just as patiently for an answer as everyone else was in the room. Grace just looked away, trying to pretend she wasn't at the same desk as the two lovebirds. Joan thought for a second, and then replied, "Not really."
"Your boyfriend doesn't want to share either?" Miss Lischak asked, looking to Adam. He shook his head no, not really wanting to say anything at the moment. Miss Lischak just nodded in response, replying, "Good, I'm sure it was inappropriate for this class. It's for outside the classroom. Now keep your eyes off each other just long enough too pay attention." She then proceeded up to the front of the room, leaving a giggling Joan and Adam behind, despite their attempts to hide their laughter.
Joan then felt Adam grabbing her left hand with his right underneath the table, and Joan noted how perfect they fit together as they rested on her knee. She glanced to Adam casually, and he glanced to her with the same casualness, though underneath both was desire. Joan saw there in his face the worry, the one that didn't go away, the one she so desperately wanted to push away. The truth would come.
...........
.................
Joan, Grace, and Adam all stood at their lockers, watching as the crowds went by as the end of school neared. Grace began filling her bag with the necessary books for that night, and glanced over at Joan and Adam, realizing they had been standing close and holding each other's hands since AP Chem. She smiled to herself, knowing that whatever tension there had been was finally gone. Though Grace wouldn't admit that she liked the PDA's, she felt the world has finally gotten itself straightened out for the moment because everything was getting back to normal. Or so it seemed.
Adam and Joan were talking quietly, as Grace finally turned to them completely. However, she found herself glancing over to a very interesting scene. Luke and Glynis were much farther down the hall, and they did not look happy. Grace pulled on Joan's arm, causing her to turn to her with curiosity. "What?" Joan asked, getting the attention of Adam, as well, who was peering around Joan.
Grace gestured over to Luke and Glynis. Joan followed her gaze, sighing. "Oh no," was all she uttered. They were in a quiet, yet seemingly heated discussion. Joan could only watch helplessly as her brother seemed to have finally found his words, and chose to possibly do something that Joan knew was coming. Luke was breaking up with Glynis.
Joan and Grace were watching intently, but Adam began to move away from them. Only Joan noticed it when she suddenly felt a tug on the day long hold that she had on Adam's hand. She glanced to him, seeing him wanting to retreat. "I gotta get going, Jane. I'll pick you up at 6ish?"
Joan nodded. "Yeah, sounds good." Adam reached over and kissed her lightly, and then was gone. Grace turned to see Joan one person short.
"Where is he off to?" Grace asked.
Joan shrugged. "Like I ever know." When Joan looked over to Luke and Glynis, they were gone. "What did I miss?"
Grace replied, "A few more heated words, I think. Then they left."
"I have to stay here and wait for him. So I'll see you later," Joan said, and Grace nodded, walking off.
Joan strode down the hall towards the room her brother would be in for a quick meeting of the math minds, or Joan liked to call it, the geek domain. She smirked to herself as she arrived at the closed room and sat down on the ground. Seeing the room closed, she couldn't help but wonder what they could possibly be doing under such conditions.
Before she could think more on this subject, a voice asked, "Have you found the truth?" Joan looked up to see Cute Boy God staring down at her.
Joan replied, a little annoyance in her voice, "If you mean did I find out that my brother and father have a horrible relationship, then yes, I did."
God sat down next to her, His eyes never leaving Joan's face. "Relationships are never perfect. They need fine-tuning every now and then. It may seem to be doing fine to the two participants, but if the fine-tuning isn't done regularly, it can really build up, as was the case with your brother and your father."
Joan's eyes continued to show sorrow, "Even if it hurts?"
God only replied, "Especially if it hurts."
"I only wish I could help Adam," Joan replied with great hurt and regret.
God asked, "Who says you haven't?"
Joan turned her face to God, who was staring at her seriously. Joan argued, "Well, he still hasn't told me anything, and he seems to be looking for help in Grace, my Mom ...", but God promptly interrupted.
"Joan, you're relationship with Adam has changed. It's deeper now. It's more intimate now. And that intimacy can be scary. Adam senses the change, but do you?" God asked, suddenly changing the tables.
Joan smirked, not even sure how to answer. "Well, we've already gone from friendship to relationship, that's already happened."
"It's becoming deeper, Joan, whether you want it to or not. Embrace it together." God then stood up, smiled down at her, and walked away, leaving her sitting on the floor in the vacant school hallway.
Joan had never thought about her relationship with Adam in this type of way. It almost made sense, thinking that perhaps the change from friendship to relationship for both of them was still a bit difficult. Joan wasn't the friend that Adam could just come to talk things out. She was now the girlfriend that was beginning to know Adam at a deeper level than a friend. A different level. She had to admit that the thought of it made her also a little scared.
"Hey," Luke said, sitting down next to her on the floor. He looked to see her staring off into space for just a second more before turning to him.
Joan sighed, "So, did you get all mathed up?"
"If that is a word." Luke noticed Joan's different mood. "Bad day?"
Joan looked to him with a little smile. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"
"What do you mean?" Luke asked, trying to pretend he had no idea what she was talking about.
Joan mused, "Well, a little birdie told me you talked to Glynis."
Luke became a little quiet for minute, having no intention of discussing this. However, he had to have known better. For some reason Joan seemed to find out everything that was going on. It didn't take her long to hear what was happening, and it amazed him that this time it had barely been an hour of time since he had talked with Glynis. "You're good," Luke muttered, catching Joan's attention.
"Say that again?" Joan asked knowingly.
Luke shrugged. "I talked to her, and let's just say, I feel better."
Joan pushed further, "And?"
Luke laughed a little, "And ... I don't know. She won't be calling me any longer?"
Joan smirked. "So you actually did it? You know, I didn't mean for you to break up with her."
Luke nodded, replying, "I know. But I had to." He then glanced at his sister, who was smiling widely at him.
"You wouldn't get far without me, would you, dork?" Joan asked, though lightly said, but lacing with sincerity. Luke couldn't hide his admiration for his sister, and how much she had done for him. If anything, his sister had always been there for him, and she enjoyed helping him. At least that was his conclusion, based on the fact that he felt that his sister had been heavily involved in his life during the past year.
Luke returned the light-heartedness, "I guess not." He then suddenly remembered her heavy concern for Adam, and noting that Adam was nowhere to be seen. Whenever Joan gave him a ride home, Adam usually joined them. Luke envied Joan's relationship with Adam, because she was right when they couldn't get enough of each other. They were rarely out of each other's sight. "Where's Adam?"
Joan then looked away. "I don't know." Luke could sense her sadness, and it was obvious that even though they had gotten back on track, Joan and Adam were still having a few problems.
"Why are relationships so difficult?" Luke asked heavily.
Joan thought for a minute, and finally answered, "Because we're scared to fine-tune them." She then leaned her head against the wall, feeling the weight of her words. Tonight she would be fine-tuning.
.................
................
Helen was finally home early for once, having no staff meetings to attend. This allowed her to make a good dinner at a good time. However, she already knew Joan wouldn't be joining them because she would be going out with Adam tonight. To be honest, she enjoyed making dinner for her family, knowing that it was usually a time when they all could sit down together at least once during all of their busy schedules.
As she began cutting up the vegetables, she felt strong arms encircle and a kiss on her cheek. "You're home early."
Will smiled behind her. "Not a busy day for criminals, I guess." He then stepped away, looking around at the various foods. "What's for dinner?"
Helen quietly laughed. "Well, because you kissed me first before asking, I guess I can tell you. We're having chicken."
Will nodded, and walked into the dining room, seeing only 4 places set. "Who won't be here?"
Helen called from the kitchen, "Joan. She's going out on a date with Adam." Helen immediately could tell that Will was happy to know that Luke would be at dinner, and not the one missing. They had only briefly talked about the night before, and Will wasn't too keen on talking about it. However, Helen knew that Will truly wanted to have a good talk with his son. And they both deserved it. "You have to talk to him, Will."
Will turned to look at his wife. "Who?"
Helen just shook her head in disgust. "You know who. Do it so we can get the tension out of this house."
Will just smirked. "Luke said he didn't want to talk."
Helen shrugged. "That was last night. Today is different, I think he needs a good talk from his father."
"What makes you think that?" Will asked as he began to spread the napkins out on the plates.
Helen finished her task, and immediately came out to the dining room. Will turned to her, seeing her concern. "Luke broke up with Glynis today." Will nodded, looking back to the napkins. Sighing, Helen moved closer to him, placing a hand on his arm. "He needs his father. Talk to him. Just suck it up and talk to him. Change his beliefs. Make him truly believe that you love him with everything you've got." Will smiled at his wife, knowing that he had to do it for not just her, but most importantly for himself and Luke.
Just then Joan and Luke came walking down the stairs. Joan was dressed nice, but casual. Luke walked over to the table, looking at his parents. Before he could say anything, Joan walked around, grabbing her many accessories, making sure she had everything. "Mom, where's my watch? I couldn't find it upstairs."
Helen sighed, replying, "Maybe the same place you always leave it. On the coffee table in the living room." Joan hurried in the living room, grabbing it, and came walking back, seeing Kevin now joining the group.
She grabbed her coat, giving Kevin a nice pat on the shoulder, replying, "See you guys later." Joan was suddenly gone and the other four looked at each other.
Helen filled the silence quickly, "Let's eat. I marinated the chicken tonight, it's a bit different."
Kevin smiled, replying, "Sounds great, Mom." And soon Will and Luke and sat down, as well.
.................
.................
Joan certainly hadn't imagined this. Well, maybe in her endless dreams that she had about Adam. However, it was better than she thought it would be. Once Adam had picked her up, they drove to the park, and we're now sitting on a blanket as the sun was setting over the forest beyond. They had just eaten, enjoying a wonderful, light dinner, and we're now lying down on the blanket in each other's arms. Joan liked feeling this way, liked feeling safe, secure, loved.
Adam had one arm behind his head, and the other around Joan as she snuggled closer to him. She had her head on his shoulder, enveloping herself in his wonderful scent. Adam felt her tighten her hold around his waist, and he smiled, looking up at the sun finally beginning to set. The night couldn't be better. "I love the sunset, yo."
Joan gave him a small kiss on the cheek, and then returned her head to his shoulder. "Thank you for this."
"No problem, Jane. I know you've been going through some stuff these past few days," Adam replied simply.
Joan felt her whole being stop suddenly at hearing this. In fact, it caused her to prop herself up on her elbow to look down at him with question in her eyes. She had no idea that Adam knew of the problems straining her family at the moment, and she knew she didn't tell him. Joan had been so busy that she barely had time to deal with it herself let alone tell someone. "How did you ...?"
Adam answered quickly, "I could just tell, yo." Joan felt her soul grow, felt her whole being become amazed at this person. Amazed at their relationship. Amazed that God had brought this person into her life. Now it was suddenly time to fine-tune, walk through the scariness of intimacy together.
Joan turned on her side a little further to face him better, and Adam followed, turning on his side and propping himself on an elbow to face her. He grabbed her hands, tracing his fingers along hers. "My brother and dad had this huge fight," she replied, showing a little irony in her voice. Fights happened a lot in her house.
Adam pushed a little further, "What was it about?"
Joan sighed, looking up into his face. "My brother thinks my dad doesn't pay attention to him. I guess I never really noticed, you know? Of course, I am the only girl, so I guess that kind of separates me a little."
Adam nodded, "Maybe."
Joan continued, a strain of worry weighing heavy on her words, "You know, it's just ... my dad and I have always been able to talk. I can't imagine not being able to talk to my dad. I guess no one in my family saw this. And we should have."
Adam tightened his hold on her hands. "Sometimes you can't tell what someone is thinking. Sometimes you're so concerned about something, that you forget those most close to you." His eyes looked up into hers, and she felt something break, a barrier that had been a brick wall was now blown over by a simple breath of the wind. Something was happening, and Joan couldn't explain it.
Joan decided to continue the conversation, hoping everything will just develop. She had no idea what was to be said. "Do you and your dad talk a lot?"
Adam nodded, looked down a little bit, continuing to play with Joan's hands. He shrugged sheepishly, and finally replied, as if straining to say it, "My mom and I were close." He paused a second, looking up at Joan, who waited, her eyes showing that she didn't want to be any other place in the world except right here, listening to him. Being with him. "My dad helped a lot afterwards, after my mom ..." he paused slightly, looking for courage inside him continue, "and I guess then we started to talk a lot."
Joan smiled to herself, feeling as if just this small conversation allowed her to see a part of Adam that she had never seen before. At this moment she was finally given the key, the key to his soul. "Do you still talk ok with him?" Joan asked, feeling her stomach flutter with excitement as she pondered the idea of being able to look into Adam's soul in a way she hadn't before.
A face of worry met hers again. The same one that she felt she had been trying to help him get rid of for days. "Jane, I've been hiding something from you the past few days. Maybe because I was scared, or ... not wanting to burden you again."
Joan felt his worry now, felt it weighing on her heart. She reached a hand to his face, tracing his features, wanting to erase his burden with her special touch. Adam's tension was beginning to fade again, and Joan never tired of being able to do this for him. His eyes met hers again, she whispered then, "Adam, whatever worries you have, I have. No matter what. If you're sick, I'm sick. If you're sad, I'm sad. If you're burdened, I'm burdened. And I wouldn't want it any other way." She could see the emotion rising in him, and she moved her hand to his hair, and placed her cheek to his.
After a few moments, Adam whispered back, "I need to take you somewhere."
End Scene ... Cue Music ... Commercial ....
To Be Continued ...
Read and Review!! - Last section coming soon!
RATING: PG-13, to be safe.
SPOILERS: Do the Math, and I think probably Anonymous, now that I think of it.
PAIRING: J/A
DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters or Joan of Arcadia. Barbara Hall owns them.
Author's Note: I think this chapter is my favorite. It came easily and I wrote it quickly. This is the fourth part of a five part story. So my next section will be the last for this story. Thanks to everyone for their reviews! Enjoy!!!
Chapter 4: Carrying The Burden
Chemistry never ceased to bring her mood down. Joan found herself glancing at the clock countless times during the period, and prayed that she wouldn't be called on. That was the only way to survive the class, Joan mused. Grace and Adam made the time go that much faster by just being there. However, today only Grace was there with her. Joan looked to Grace to see her smudging marks a little on the lab desk, obviously quite bored. Adam usually drew during class, as well, Joan thought, even though he wasn't here today. Joan only found her mind traveling to the night before remembering Adam's apparent need for her, despite his inability to share. Actually, it was all her mind thought of at the moment.
Grace suddenly leaned over to her. "Where's Rove?" she whispered.
Joan just shrugged, not making eye contact. "Why should I know?"
Grace's face showed her interest in such a comment, strange to be coming from Joan of all people. "I just thought you would know ... because, I don't know," she began sarcastically, "... you're his girlfriend."
Joan then turned to look at Grace. "He hasn't actually been forthcoming to me recently, and our schedules have been all messed up."
Grace smirked, "I don't know about the talking thing, but the schedules haven't stopped you before. You two always find time to show PDA's, always around each other. It's disgusting, by the way. But not having it happen suddenly has raised my curiosity."
"If anyone should know where he is, maybe it's you. You are his best friend," Joan countered.
"Know where who is?" Adam asked as he sneaked into the class behind Joan, assuming his seat next to her. Joan looked over to him, her mood changing automatically. She could now see the worry on his face, the worry that didn't go away. It was still tracing his features, and she desperately wanted to make him feel better. Perhaps that night would be his time to tell her.
Grace jumped in, breaking Joan's thoughts, "Joan was wondering where her make-out buddy was."
Joan shot Grace an angry look, whispering harshly, "I was not!" Joan turned back to Adam, and insisted, "I didn't say that."
Adam nodded, smiling a little. "Well, I'm here now, yo."
Joan squeezed his hand, and would've kissed him there, but decided it was best not to. They were in class, after all. However, she did lean a little closer to him and asked, "Where were you?"
Adam shrugged, and was about to answer, but suddenly realized they were being watched. Mrs. Lischak was now standing in front of their lab desk, hands on her hips. "Care to share, Miss Girardi?"
Joan smiled sheepishly, looking around the room seeing everyone staring at her. Her brother shot her a very amused look, waiting just as patiently for an answer as everyone else was in the room. Grace just looked away, trying to pretend she wasn't at the same desk as the two lovebirds. Joan thought for a second, and then replied, "Not really."
"Your boyfriend doesn't want to share either?" Miss Lischak asked, looking to Adam. He shook his head no, not really wanting to say anything at the moment. Miss Lischak just nodded in response, replying, "Good, I'm sure it was inappropriate for this class. It's for outside the classroom. Now keep your eyes off each other just long enough too pay attention." She then proceeded up to the front of the room, leaving a giggling Joan and Adam behind, despite their attempts to hide their laughter.
Joan then felt Adam grabbing her left hand with his right underneath the table, and Joan noted how perfect they fit together as they rested on her knee. She glanced to Adam casually, and he glanced to her with the same casualness, though underneath both was desire. Joan saw there in his face the worry, the one that didn't go away, the one she so desperately wanted to push away. The truth would come.
...........
.................
Joan, Grace, and Adam all stood at their lockers, watching as the crowds went by as the end of school neared. Grace began filling her bag with the necessary books for that night, and glanced over at Joan and Adam, realizing they had been standing close and holding each other's hands since AP Chem. She smiled to herself, knowing that whatever tension there had been was finally gone. Though Grace wouldn't admit that she liked the PDA's, she felt the world has finally gotten itself straightened out for the moment because everything was getting back to normal. Or so it seemed.
Adam and Joan were talking quietly, as Grace finally turned to them completely. However, she found herself glancing over to a very interesting scene. Luke and Glynis were much farther down the hall, and they did not look happy. Grace pulled on Joan's arm, causing her to turn to her with curiosity. "What?" Joan asked, getting the attention of Adam, as well, who was peering around Joan.
Grace gestured over to Luke and Glynis. Joan followed her gaze, sighing. "Oh no," was all she uttered. They were in a quiet, yet seemingly heated discussion. Joan could only watch helplessly as her brother seemed to have finally found his words, and chose to possibly do something that Joan knew was coming. Luke was breaking up with Glynis.
Joan and Grace were watching intently, but Adam began to move away from them. Only Joan noticed it when she suddenly felt a tug on the day long hold that she had on Adam's hand. She glanced to him, seeing him wanting to retreat. "I gotta get going, Jane. I'll pick you up at 6ish?"
Joan nodded. "Yeah, sounds good." Adam reached over and kissed her lightly, and then was gone. Grace turned to see Joan one person short.
"Where is he off to?" Grace asked.
Joan shrugged. "Like I ever know." When Joan looked over to Luke and Glynis, they were gone. "What did I miss?"
Grace replied, "A few more heated words, I think. Then they left."
"I have to stay here and wait for him. So I'll see you later," Joan said, and Grace nodded, walking off.
Joan strode down the hall towards the room her brother would be in for a quick meeting of the math minds, or Joan liked to call it, the geek domain. She smirked to herself as she arrived at the closed room and sat down on the ground. Seeing the room closed, she couldn't help but wonder what they could possibly be doing under such conditions.
Before she could think more on this subject, a voice asked, "Have you found the truth?" Joan looked up to see Cute Boy God staring down at her.
Joan replied, a little annoyance in her voice, "If you mean did I find out that my brother and father have a horrible relationship, then yes, I did."
God sat down next to her, His eyes never leaving Joan's face. "Relationships are never perfect. They need fine-tuning every now and then. It may seem to be doing fine to the two participants, but if the fine-tuning isn't done regularly, it can really build up, as was the case with your brother and your father."
Joan's eyes continued to show sorrow, "Even if it hurts?"
God only replied, "Especially if it hurts."
"I only wish I could help Adam," Joan replied with great hurt and regret.
God asked, "Who says you haven't?"
Joan turned her face to God, who was staring at her seriously. Joan argued, "Well, he still hasn't told me anything, and he seems to be looking for help in Grace, my Mom ...", but God promptly interrupted.
"Joan, you're relationship with Adam has changed. It's deeper now. It's more intimate now. And that intimacy can be scary. Adam senses the change, but do you?" God asked, suddenly changing the tables.
Joan smirked, not even sure how to answer. "Well, we've already gone from friendship to relationship, that's already happened."
"It's becoming deeper, Joan, whether you want it to or not. Embrace it together." God then stood up, smiled down at her, and walked away, leaving her sitting on the floor in the vacant school hallway.
Joan had never thought about her relationship with Adam in this type of way. It almost made sense, thinking that perhaps the change from friendship to relationship for both of them was still a bit difficult. Joan wasn't the friend that Adam could just come to talk things out. She was now the girlfriend that was beginning to know Adam at a deeper level than a friend. A different level. She had to admit that the thought of it made her also a little scared.
"Hey," Luke said, sitting down next to her on the floor. He looked to see her staring off into space for just a second more before turning to him.
Joan sighed, "So, did you get all mathed up?"
"If that is a word." Luke noticed Joan's different mood. "Bad day?"
Joan looked to him with a little smile. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"
"What do you mean?" Luke asked, trying to pretend he had no idea what she was talking about.
Joan mused, "Well, a little birdie told me you talked to Glynis."
Luke became a little quiet for minute, having no intention of discussing this. However, he had to have known better. For some reason Joan seemed to find out everything that was going on. It didn't take her long to hear what was happening, and it amazed him that this time it had barely been an hour of time since he had talked with Glynis. "You're good," Luke muttered, catching Joan's attention.
"Say that again?" Joan asked knowingly.
Luke shrugged. "I talked to her, and let's just say, I feel better."
Joan pushed further, "And?"
Luke laughed a little, "And ... I don't know. She won't be calling me any longer?"
Joan smirked. "So you actually did it? You know, I didn't mean for you to break up with her."
Luke nodded, replying, "I know. But I had to." He then glanced at his sister, who was smiling widely at him.
"You wouldn't get far without me, would you, dork?" Joan asked, though lightly said, but lacing with sincerity. Luke couldn't hide his admiration for his sister, and how much she had done for him. If anything, his sister had always been there for him, and she enjoyed helping him. At least that was his conclusion, based on the fact that he felt that his sister had been heavily involved in his life during the past year.
Luke returned the light-heartedness, "I guess not." He then suddenly remembered her heavy concern for Adam, and noting that Adam was nowhere to be seen. Whenever Joan gave him a ride home, Adam usually joined them. Luke envied Joan's relationship with Adam, because she was right when they couldn't get enough of each other. They were rarely out of each other's sight. "Where's Adam?"
Joan then looked away. "I don't know." Luke could sense her sadness, and it was obvious that even though they had gotten back on track, Joan and Adam were still having a few problems.
"Why are relationships so difficult?" Luke asked heavily.
Joan thought for a minute, and finally answered, "Because we're scared to fine-tune them." She then leaned her head against the wall, feeling the weight of her words. Tonight she would be fine-tuning.
.................
................
Helen was finally home early for once, having no staff meetings to attend. This allowed her to make a good dinner at a good time. However, she already knew Joan wouldn't be joining them because she would be going out with Adam tonight. To be honest, she enjoyed making dinner for her family, knowing that it was usually a time when they all could sit down together at least once during all of their busy schedules.
As she began cutting up the vegetables, she felt strong arms encircle and a kiss on her cheek. "You're home early."
Will smiled behind her. "Not a busy day for criminals, I guess." He then stepped away, looking around at the various foods. "What's for dinner?"
Helen quietly laughed. "Well, because you kissed me first before asking, I guess I can tell you. We're having chicken."
Will nodded, and walked into the dining room, seeing only 4 places set. "Who won't be here?"
Helen called from the kitchen, "Joan. She's going out on a date with Adam." Helen immediately could tell that Will was happy to know that Luke would be at dinner, and not the one missing. They had only briefly talked about the night before, and Will wasn't too keen on talking about it. However, Helen knew that Will truly wanted to have a good talk with his son. And they both deserved it. "You have to talk to him, Will."
Will turned to look at his wife. "Who?"
Helen just shook her head in disgust. "You know who. Do it so we can get the tension out of this house."
Will just smirked. "Luke said he didn't want to talk."
Helen shrugged. "That was last night. Today is different, I think he needs a good talk from his father."
"What makes you think that?" Will asked as he began to spread the napkins out on the plates.
Helen finished her task, and immediately came out to the dining room. Will turned to her, seeing her concern. "Luke broke up with Glynis today." Will nodded, looking back to the napkins. Sighing, Helen moved closer to him, placing a hand on his arm. "He needs his father. Talk to him. Just suck it up and talk to him. Change his beliefs. Make him truly believe that you love him with everything you've got." Will smiled at his wife, knowing that he had to do it for not just her, but most importantly for himself and Luke.
Just then Joan and Luke came walking down the stairs. Joan was dressed nice, but casual. Luke walked over to the table, looking at his parents. Before he could say anything, Joan walked around, grabbing her many accessories, making sure she had everything. "Mom, where's my watch? I couldn't find it upstairs."
Helen sighed, replying, "Maybe the same place you always leave it. On the coffee table in the living room." Joan hurried in the living room, grabbing it, and came walking back, seeing Kevin now joining the group.
She grabbed her coat, giving Kevin a nice pat on the shoulder, replying, "See you guys later." Joan was suddenly gone and the other four looked at each other.
Helen filled the silence quickly, "Let's eat. I marinated the chicken tonight, it's a bit different."
Kevin smiled, replying, "Sounds great, Mom." And soon Will and Luke and sat down, as well.
.................
.................
Joan certainly hadn't imagined this. Well, maybe in her endless dreams that she had about Adam. However, it was better than she thought it would be. Once Adam had picked her up, they drove to the park, and we're now sitting on a blanket as the sun was setting over the forest beyond. They had just eaten, enjoying a wonderful, light dinner, and we're now lying down on the blanket in each other's arms. Joan liked feeling this way, liked feeling safe, secure, loved.
Adam had one arm behind his head, and the other around Joan as she snuggled closer to him. She had her head on his shoulder, enveloping herself in his wonderful scent. Adam felt her tighten her hold around his waist, and he smiled, looking up at the sun finally beginning to set. The night couldn't be better. "I love the sunset, yo."
Joan gave him a small kiss on the cheek, and then returned her head to his shoulder. "Thank you for this."
"No problem, Jane. I know you've been going through some stuff these past few days," Adam replied simply.
Joan felt her whole being stop suddenly at hearing this. In fact, it caused her to prop herself up on her elbow to look down at him with question in her eyes. She had no idea that Adam knew of the problems straining her family at the moment, and she knew she didn't tell him. Joan had been so busy that she barely had time to deal with it herself let alone tell someone. "How did you ...?"
Adam answered quickly, "I could just tell, yo." Joan felt her soul grow, felt her whole being become amazed at this person. Amazed at their relationship. Amazed that God had brought this person into her life. Now it was suddenly time to fine-tune, walk through the scariness of intimacy together.
Joan turned on her side a little further to face him better, and Adam followed, turning on his side and propping himself on an elbow to face her. He grabbed her hands, tracing his fingers along hers. "My brother and dad had this huge fight," she replied, showing a little irony in her voice. Fights happened a lot in her house.
Adam pushed a little further, "What was it about?"
Joan sighed, looking up into his face. "My brother thinks my dad doesn't pay attention to him. I guess I never really noticed, you know? Of course, I am the only girl, so I guess that kind of separates me a little."
Adam nodded, "Maybe."
Joan continued, a strain of worry weighing heavy on her words, "You know, it's just ... my dad and I have always been able to talk. I can't imagine not being able to talk to my dad. I guess no one in my family saw this. And we should have."
Adam tightened his hold on her hands. "Sometimes you can't tell what someone is thinking. Sometimes you're so concerned about something, that you forget those most close to you." His eyes looked up into hers, and she felt something break, a barrier that had been a brick wall was now blown over by a simple breath of the wind. Something was happening, and Joan couldn't explain it.
Joan decided to continue the conversation, hoping everything will just develop. She had no idea what was to be said. "Do you and your dad talk a lot?"
Adam nodded, looked down a little bit, continuing to play with Joan's hands. He shrugged sheepishly, and finally replied, as if straining to say it, "My mom and I were close." He paused a second, looking up at Joan, who waited, her eyes showing that she didn't want to be any other place in the world except right here, listening to him. Being with him. "My dad helped a lot afterwards, after my mom ..." he paused slightly, looking for courage inside him continue, "and I guess then we started to talk a lot."
Joan smiled to herself, feeling as if just this small conversation allowed her to see a part of Adam that she had never seen before. At this moment she was finally given the key, the key to his soul. "Do you still talk ok with him?" Joan asked, feeling her stomach flutter with excitement as she pondered the idea of being able to look into Adam's soul in a way she hadn't before.
A face of worry met hers again. The same one that she felt she had been trying to help him get rid of for days. "Jane, I've been hiding something from you the past few days. Maybe because I was scared, or ... not wanting to burden you again."
Joan felt his worry now, felt it weighing on her heart. She reached a hand to his face, tracing his features, wanting to erase his burden with her special touch. Adam's tension was beginning to fade again, and Joan never tired of being able to do this for him. His eyes met hers again, she whispered then, "Adam, whatever worries you have, I have. No matter what. If you're sick, I'm sick. If you're sad, I'm sad. If you're burdened, I'm burdened. And I wouldn't want it any other way." She could see the emotion rising in him, and she moved her hand to his hair, and placed her cheek to his.
After a few moments, Adam whispered back, "I need to take you somewhere."
End Scene ... Cue Music ... Commercial ....
To Be Continued ...
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