A/N: I don't know about the exact rules at ffn.net 'bout AN's, but I hope you'll forgive me for this one. I don't think I'll put in any more, but this one's pretty necessary, I think.

Well, hi! This is a Koenma-Botan fanfic, from aphraelsky a.k.a. Kristine- chan. I usually stick to drawing, but please bear with me on this one. I really love the pairing—strangely, the obsession still sticks to me even after all these years, and it's one of the dear, predictable things that keep me sane in college (or this sane, at least, which isn't saying much). But I don't wanna bash Ayame, Kurama or Hiei even though they're usually the ones paired off with Koenma or Botan. I'm sorry, but I don't get the other pairings (Everybody's entitled to her own opinion of things, ne?), however, I'll have almost all the characters end up happily, don't worry. The characters will seem more mature in the fic than we see them in the cartoon or in the manga (especially Botan). It begins thirteen years after Yuusuke's arrival, and many changes had happened to the three worlds since then. Plenty of things will be happening still, though, and I will also be bringing up flashbacks and stuff like that. Please review; flames will be accepted gratefully if you tell me reasonable reasons for not liking the fic (hey, I know I ain't perfect or nothin'!), and I'll try to make it better . Just don't flame me for being a KoBo fan—that part cannot be changed at all. I hope you like this story.

Disclaimer: Please don't sue: I wish I owned the characters, but I'm just borrowing them.

Finding Destiny
By Kristine-Chan/aphraelsky

"It doesn't matter, it never has..."
Whispers of the night....

"Listen to yourself! I can't believe that it's you who are talking, you

suggesting this outrageous thing!"

Quiet as a breeze yet loud as thunder...

"I don't care." Her voice was silk-wrapped steel. "Onegai....." Her soft

fingers ran through his fiery red mane ever so softly, stroking his inhibitions away.

Baring of souls in the obscured light,

"But what about him? You promised to be his and his alone!" His eyes

met her grey ones, longing, reproach and sadness replete in their greenish

depths.

The blessed moon's guidance allowing quiet wonder,

"What of him?" she shook her head, her short ebony locks swaying with

the wind. "What of his promise to be mine?!! What of my needs... myself??! Kamisama,

you know he has never even touched me in all these years-- three years, Kurama!!" Her

eyes flashed with sudden anger in the faint light, but Kurama thought she never looked

more beautiful. "He does not want me, and I don't want what belongs to another

already!"

At each other, at ourselves in faint luminescence.

"He has been kind to you, and he has loved and befriended me! " he said

passionately, turning away from her resting fisted hands on the balcony's ledge.

His face was masked by the shadows that hid the pain in his eyes. "I can't hurt

him by taking you away!"

So stay your hand from trembling and the tears from your eyes

"He will not be hurt!" she cried desperately as she clung to his arm. "He

will not search for me as desperately as he has done all these years for her! Why

can't you admit what we both know?! He doesn't love me, and never will! Take me away

and let him find her!"Seeing what she said made no effect on his stoic figure, she

loosened his arm and her voice changed, betraying her anger and frustration.

"Fine, have it your way. Leave me here again, like you always do! But things

are a little different now. Do you know what will happen when they find out? Surely

you do; you were the wisest in the Ningenkai before you decided to go away."

He flinched visibly, but still did not move.

She walked around him slowly., tension apparent in her stance."Do you know

what will happen to me? I will be humiliated, thrown out of the palace and sent to the

seventh hell, dead and stripped of this immortality. But maybe not...Koenma is kind;

maybe he will not tell his father what happened.

Maybe he will forgive me, and even raise your son as his own!"

It was then that he looked at her with something akin to wildness in his eyes,

but she drove relentlessly on, voice rising another note.

"But still, he would never inherit the Reikai, because none could hold th

throne who does not carry the hereditary blood of the king of hell. Then, all will

know that he is not Koenma's. He would be terribly, terribly hurt."

"No.." his voice was little more than a whisper, but she could hear it

clearly in the stillness of the night.

"What, you don't have the courage to admit the truth to yourself, Kurama?"

she asked mockingly. "Well, I have, And you know what? Your son will be called a

bastard, scorned more than I would be by all the people. But maybe I

would have given Koenma the true heir by then ; I may even have learned to love him.

He is easy to love; but for you, I would've had my heart broken when I found that he

loves somebody else.."

"Stop..." the pain was clearly evident in his voice now. It cut into her, but she had

to continue, had to make him understand.

"But you know what the hardest part is about all of it, Kurama?" she paused, then

said quietly, in a broken voice,"... That he will never know his father, and you will never

know your son!"

"I SAID STOP!!!" Kurama shouted. Startled and a little afraid, she obeyed, never

having seen him angry before. Light enveloped him, and after it faded, she saw that the

redheaded young man was gone, replaced by his white-haired, amber-eyed youko form.

He had on the wings that he formed with his plants. His jaw was set and his eyes blazed.

"That will never happen!" he said, quiet menace in his voice. "Never!"

"Then take me with you!" she cried, throwing her arms around him. "I'm

so tired of all this! I deserve to be loved, too! Koenma...he has been such a good friend

to me, but I love you. Let him find his love while I keep you!" She held onto him as if

she would never let go.

For you and you alone are, to me, life's very essence

"So be it, then!" he said grimly, reaching for her hand. "Let them call me a

traitor, but whatever comes of this madness, at least we are together! " he vowed. "I will

make you happy, Yumi, I promise!"

Now stay with me as you wish, as the past disappears and flies

"Kurama..., aishiteru... I will follow you anywhere!" She

hugged him and pressed her lips to his for an instant, before vaulting with him to the

darkness below.

After our voices have danced to night's haunting melody.

Minutes after they disappeared, two cloaked figures came out of the

darkness, unnoticed by the lovers who were too caught up in each other to care.

"It is as we feared, Koenma-sama. She has gone off with him at last," one of

them said.

"Yes, she has," his companion replied quietly, throwing off his hood and

staring into the darkness where the lovers had disappeared, his beautiful face

devoid of any expression. His soft, hazel and gold eyes stared into the darkness

dispassionately. "Thank you for taking me here, Captain Ginyu. I appreciate your help in

this matter."

"I'm very sorry, sire, but you had to witness this. As a servant of your father

and as a man, I could not let you be deceived by your wife any longer."

Koenma inclined his head briefly to say he understood. "Who else knows

about this?"

"Only the ferrygirl Ayame and two of my men, sire," the captain replied. "She

was the one who alerted us about this. We would've captured Kurama, but she begged us

not to, and to bring you here first, if you would order it, but you didn't..."

"How long did you know about this?"

"Uh, only a few days ago, sire, uh, when the ferrygirl asked me to have

Kurama followed. He—uh, he met Hanayumi-hime by the snake road and he—uh, we

heard enough to recognize what was going on. "

"I see." The prince's tone was level and devoid of expression, making the old

captain wonder if what the princess had said earlier was true. This made the old retainer

more nervous. If he was in the prince's place...but then, he thanked the other gods that he

wasn't.

"...But will all due respect, Koenma-sama, I—maybe you really shouldn't

have been allowed to see this. Ayame told us you should be here. We—we knew that this

was coming, sire. I'm really very sorry."

"I know. She was right. I had to witness this."

"Yes, you had to," a voice interrupted suddenly, making them both start.

"Hiei?" Koenma said, as a short demon with dark, fiery hair appeared

suddenly behind them, accompanied by Ayame, the dark-haired ferrier of souls in his

service.

"How did you get here?" Captain Ginyu exclaimed, getting into a fighting stance.

"It's all right, captain," Koenma said. "I hope you recognize Hiei, my former

Tantei, and Ayame." He turned to the fire-demon. "You knew this before everybody else,

didn't you?" he asked levelly.

"Hn. You didn't love her," he replied flatly, eyes challenging him to deny it.

Koenma didn't take the bait. Instead, he gazed at the fire-demon levelly and nodded his

head.

"Yes, I admit it. I didn't love her." His voice was flat and unemotional.

Ayame bowed her head and motioned for the captain that they should move

farther away from the prince and his friend. He dared not disobey.

With slow, deliberate steps, Hiei stepped in front of the prince, then suddenly

punched him in the face, sending him sprawling. The watching guards made a

move to go to them, but Koenma waved them off. Straightening, he merely

assumed his former pose and waited.

"That's for your wife." Hiei finally said after a while. Shifting his gaze to the

darkness, he added flatly, "She didn't deserve what you did."

"I know." He paused, "she got one part wrong—I was not kind to her. I didn't,

couldn't give her what she most wanted—a husband." He moved to the balcony and

leaned both hands on the railing. "I couldn't even bring myself to touch her. Not ever."

The laugh that came from his lips was mirthless and cold.

Hiei nodded, his eyes still at the distance. Glancing at his one-time employer and

friend (although he'd never admit it), he thought he had to admire the guy's control, and

wonder, yet again, at his devotion. "Hn. At least you got that right. She doesn't deserve to

be used that way. Nobody does."

"Koenma nodded. "Yes." He lowered his voice." And do you know what's

ironic? My father forced me into doing just that to one girl, and now, she's the only one I

could ever touch now." He laughed again. "...To make me a suitable "man" for my

future wife."

Hiei's eyes widened. What in hell? He didn't know this! He prepared to strike

another blow at the prince.

"...Go right ahead, but I'm gonna hit back now. I don't regret what we did," he

said firmly.

"If you loved her that much, how come you married the other girl?" Hiei asked

bluntly, shaking his head in confusion. "You could've saved yourself the trouble."

Koenma gave an exasperated sigh. "Because I was too weak. My father

threatened to kill her, and banish her to the worst places in hell. The humans, too, would

not be spared. As for me, he would take away my will and my memories—with the help

of the other gods—my uncles and aunts. He could and would have done that." Bitterness

laced his voice. "

"So what made you disobey him by having us search for her all these years, and

keeping away from your wife?"

"Power, my child, the answer is power." He gave a twisty half-smile. I came to

my senses when they told me she was gone—right after the wedding, mind you. My

wedding night was hell—mental torture, I mean. We were lying there still as boards

while I was wondering what happened to her all that time. So I spent these last years

making alliances with other rulers, and with other kamis. I now have more connections

than my father has, and they would all be willing to support me in ousting my dear father

if he makes a wrong move. Also, they all assured me to work on all possible damages to

Ningenkai if my father gets that angry." He paused, and hung his head sadly. "I was

stupid. If only I had done that years ago!" Hiei nodded. "Hn. You can be stupid at times,

you know," he said, quite honestly not meaning it an insult. Good thing Koenma didn't

mind.

"Yeah, I know," he said. "Also-"he raised his left hand which Hiei saw had

elaborate rings at each finger. A golden thread seemed to come from each ring as Hiei

watched, seeming to all trace identical lines to the center of his palm. When the lines

converged, five ghostlike spheres appeared, seeming to float above his hand. All gazed at

it in wonder while Koenma continued, "I now have the orbs of the elements, some of the

most fabled power sources of all times. I came by them when I asked Yuusuke to train

me last year." His smile was twisty. "At least now I would have a fighting chance if

father decides to stop me one of these days."

"You still mean to find her?" Hiei asked. He found himself feeling a new respect

for the prince, who seemed so cowardly before, but had the determination to stand by his

love to the point of changing himself and his principles so radically. Maybe, he reflected,

it was because he saw himself in this handsome, misunderstood prince, saw his

determination to survive, find his mother, then his sister—and the pearls that connected

them as surely as their blood. Because of his dead friend's knives, he was now stronger

and getting more and more so; because of the heartbreak, the last vestiges of Enma's rule

over his son had disappeared. Koenma was now a competent, powerful man capable of

becoming a competent ruler, and not the whiny, frightened toddler of old.

"Yes," he replied simply, looking to the distance, "Whatever it takes."

"Hn. Will you get your wife back, too?"

He shook his head. "No. She is happy with Kurama, which she can never be with

me. She also didn't love me, and she was very tired of being the pawn in palace politics."

He blew a sigh. "I'll miss her, though. She was a friend, and she understood."

Hiei shook his head. "You pushed her to leaving. I don't know how, but you

should at least keep her name clean, if only for the people in her lands."

Koenma nodded approvingly, pleased that the young, rash (well, definitely

younger than he was, anyway) and taciturn demon had thought up a good advice, proving

at least that he was more than a bloody killer. "Yes. I've thought about it when I first

suspected her." He winked, looking suddenly boyish. "If we could pull this off, not only

will it save Hanayumi from shame, but it will also give me the excuse to go off with you

and look for—"

"—for her?" Hiei continued, nodding. Then he started suddenly. "But wait—you

suspected something was up with the princess and Kurama?"

Koenma shrugged. "You don't live with a person for three years without knowing

something about her, you know."

"Then all these--"he looked over at Ayame and the soldiers "—was

unnecessary?"

He shrugged. "no, not really. I only suspected—besides, how should I know that

it was Kurama?" A frown crossed his features, and he lowered his voice to a whisper.

"But why is Ayame here?"

Hiei shrugged. "I guess she's one of the smartest people you have. She thought

this up. I followed her along, to see what'd happen. Besides, you should really know

about them before they leave, at least." He paused. "So, what about your plan?"

"Well, the first thing we're going to do is swear the others not to tell. You'd come

in handy there, I know." Hiei merely nodded, his hand going automatically to the hilt of

his katana.

"The next is that I'll send captain Ginyu and the others to give a letter to Kurama

and Hanayumi, to tell them what will happen."

"A letter?" Hiei's brows raised skeptically. Koenma nodded. "Just a letter. Just in

case they get creative, you should probably send for some of Mukuru's demons to

accompany them—just accompany them," he added sternly. He definitely didn't want the

captain of the guard eaten by some powerful monster by mistake.

"She'll ask for fees," he said bluntly.

"Well, tell her I'll just send back those demons of hers who happen to cross over

to the Ningenkai unharmed and unkilled." He grinned. "She'll enjoy punishing them

herself, I know."

He nodded. His present employer had been sitting around looking bored for a

while now, so there was a good chance she would accept Koenma's offer. They

continued talking for a while, then sent off the others after telling them the plan and

telling them to keep it secret. Afterwards, Hiei looked at his taller companion and gave

another of his rare smirks.

"You plan well," he said. Koenma grinned. "Have to—comes with the job, you

know," he said blandly. Hiei just "hn-ed" and went off without saying goodbye, probably

to Meikai to talk to Mukuro. Koenma just stood there for a while, gazing up at the sky.

Wait for me, please. At last, now I can find you, he thought.

Wait for me, beloved...

ai shite ru, my Botan....

Destiny awaits...come...
-???