Standing Up Again, a gilmore girls fanfic

Standing Up Again—Chapter 1: Alone

PG-13- language, thematic elements, and some, possible, mild sexual content later on

Summary: Rory loses her husband, she tries to move on, but can't. That is until someone from her past reenters her life. Literati.

A/N: I originally wrote this as an original fiction, but I didn't get reviews so I will try to write as a Gilmore Girls piece by revising it. Everything that happened in the show has happened. But just push everything back a year in your mind (ie rory and dean dated a year earlier, jess and rory dated early, basically bump everything that happened up until Jess left up a year)--- also Rory's decesed husband will be a pretty big character in her memories—his name is Greg (or Jeff if I forgot to change it)if you see liz anywhere then that is "rory" I just forgot to change the name I may not continue this as a GG fic if I don't get a huge response. So read and review.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. Like you didn't already know that.

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Lorelai Leigh Gilmore Anderson sat silently staring at her coffee cup in a San Francisco cafe. The past few days were a blur. All she knew was that he was gone. Her husband was gone. Greg Michael Anderson was dead. She stared at the newspaper in her hand. She was holding the death notices. There it was.

"Gregory Michael Anderson passed away Thursday, July 17, 2003. He was died from complications due to injury after a car crash caused by a drunk driver. Anderson, 29, was survived by his wife, Lorelai Leigh Anderson, 29. He also left behind five children: 11-year-old daughter, Brooke, 6-year-old son, Ryan, 4-year-old son Gregory, 2-year-old daughter Madison, 6-month-old daughter Katey,. Anderson was also survived by brother, Mark, sister, Angie, four stepsiblings, his parents and stepparents grandmother, six aunts and uncles, numerous cousins, and in-laws. Anderson is well-known for his work on the San Francisco Journal. Memorial services will be held at Zabor Funeral Home on Monday, July 21, from 12 noon- 3pm and 5pm – 8pm. The funeral will be held at St. Charles Church and Anderson will be laid to rest at Holy Family Cemetery. The family wishes all gifts or money be contributed to Childhelp USA, and organization that helps abused and neglected children or AWARE, and organization that helps abused women and children. It is a cause Anderson and his family strongly support. Let him rest in peace." There was also a picture of him.

That was it. His life was summed up into one paragraph. Why? Why had he had to die? What did he do wrong? He was great to his kids. He had always been great to her, ever since they had Brooke at 18. He had helped Rory through her pregnancy. He had stood by her through that. And had helped her stand up again. Jeff had been great to her, his wife. They had loved each other. Why did he have to die when that drunken bastard walked away without so much as a scratch? Why did it always seem to turn out that way? Those were the questions going through Rory's mind as she sipped her coffee, only five hours after she had buried her husband. Why did he have to die? He had only been 29-many people lived three times as much. How would she go on? She didn't know how. But she had to. Her children were at her mother's house. Her children. How could she raise them without the amazing man who was their father? They might not even remember him. But not if she had something to do about it. She would have her sons know him and her daughters know him. He would live through her and through his kids.

She would always love him. She always had. Ever since she met him. ...

... He was new in town. Rory had just broken up with Jess. Well, one day she was sitting in the gazebo in the middle of town, and he was walking by when he saw those deep, blue eyes that captivated him. He walked up to those eyes and began to talk to the girl they belonged to.

"Hey," he said.

"Uh...hey," she answered.

"Ayn Rand?" he asked gesturing to her book.

"Yeah. You ... uh like her?"

"Well, let's just say my way of thinking is below her and...uh...therefore I don't really enjoy her writings as much as others."

"Good, a politically correct answer. You read a lot."

"More than some. Less than others." Was his answer. Wow! Now, who did that remind her of. Oh...yeah her ex-boyfriend. That was when Rory first decided to be careful around this 'bad boy.'

"You have a name?" he asked charismatically.

"Do you?" Two could play that game.

"Oh... so that's how it's gonna be."

"I guess so."

"Bye, Mystery Woman," he said smirking with a hint of seduction in his voice.

"See you 'round," she answered smiling. (A/N: Okay, I didn't realize 'till now that that conversation was sort of like he one Lorelai had with that Chilton dad, but whatever.) How was it possible that she was already falling for him. That was then, this was now. There was no more banter or laughter. It was just her, Rory, alone. That was the beginning......And this way the end. Why couldn't have it ended when they were 100 and had lived 100 amazing years together. That was just a dream now. But now she only had a little over ten years with him. Yet maybe she should be grateful. It was more than some people had. It may not have been enough but it was something. They had been married eight years. It is said "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Maybe it had been about breaking up, but it fit here. One thing was for sure- she had loved him and he had loved her. She still loved him. She remembered his proposal. They had only been twenty, but he had done it anyways...

...Gregory, Rory, and Broke had been walking through the park at dust. She sat down on the swing with Brooke in her lap and began to swing back and forth. She and Gregory talked for a while. After a few minutes she looked down at Brooke. When she glanced back at Greg he was on one knee holding a little, black, velvet box with a classic diamond ring in it. She stopped swinging. He asked her.

"You mean the world to me. No one else has ever meant as much to me as you. Good times and bad times. For as long as we both live. Without you, my life is incomplete. I am missing something when you are not with me. I think of you night and day. I miss you when we are apart. Come grow old with me. I love you so much and I always will! Will you marry me, Rory?1" He asked hopefully.

"Yes! Oh my god! Yes! Of course I will!" she answered ecstatically. She hoisted Brooke onto her hip and hugged him and kissed him.

"Eww!" Brooke shouted resulting in a laugh from the two adults.

"What do you think, Brooke?" Greg asked the 2-year-old. "Can I marry your mommy?"

"Marry her?" she responded. "Why not? Course ya can!"

They walked home hand in hand and a year later they were getting married...

...She rushed around the room, getting ready. She wore a long strapless white dress with a flowy, poffy, and "Cindarella-esque" skirt. Greg later said it made her look like an angel.

The Wedding March came from the organ. First was Brooke, the flower girl, and the ring bearer, who was Greg's nephew. Then the bridesmaids walked down the aisle with the groomsmen. The bridesmaids were wearing long, flowy wine – colored dresses her mother was the maid of honor and Lorelai's other daughter, Rachel and Rory's two other friends were bridesmaids. Lorelai looked beautiful. Her dress fit her perfectly. The groomsmen were Greg's brother and friends. Then Rory walked down the aisle, arm in arm with her grandfather. Her own father hadn't been able to come. They had became closer over the years. Resentments had eased between her mom and grandparents. Everything was perfect. Everything was beautiful. It was snowing lightly. Everything good did happen when it snowed. That was what her mother always said. And she was right. 'She looks so beautiful,' Greg had thought.

"Who gives this woman away?" the pastor asked.

"Her mother, grandmother, and I do," Rory's father responded.

"We are gathered here today to witness the coming together," the pastor began," of two people, Gregory Michael Anderson and Lorelai "Rory" Leigh Gilmore, whose hearts and spirits are entwined as one. They now desire to profess before the entire world their intention henceforth to walk the road of life together. The beliefs and thoughts about love which motivate these two people are perhaps best expressed in the words of poet Kahlil Gibran:

'You were born to be together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in your silent memory.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heaven dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bondage of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup, but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread, but eat not of the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone, though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping,
For only the hand of life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together,
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in shadow.2'"

The pastor then began the blessing of the rings. "The wedding ring is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two loyal hearts in endless love. It is a seal of the vows Gregory and Rory have made to one another. Bless O God these rings that Gregory and Rory, who give them, and who wear them, may ever abide in thy peace. Living together in unity, love and happiness for the rest of their lives."

"Rory," Greg began, "I give you this ring as a symbol of my eternal love for you. As this ring is a circle that is never ending, so is my love for you. It is a love that is forever and will continue beyond time." He placed the ring on her finger.

"Greg," Rory began, "I give you this ring as a symbol of my eternal love for you. As this ring is a circle that is never ending, so is my love for you. It is a love that is forever and will continue beyond time." She placed the ring on his finger.

"Now," the pastor said, "it is time for the wedding vows. Rory, you may begin."

"Greg," she already had tears in her eyes, " ever since I met you I knew you were the one for me. I've always loved you and always will. You've helped me through all that I've been through in my life. You were with me when we had Brooke. She is the light of my life and you are also the light of my life. You have always been there for me and I want to be there for you always. I feel so fortunate that I'm with you and know you, because you are the best man that ever lived and you are such an amazing person. You are my friend, my lover, my role model, my confidant, my guidepost, my husband, at least you will be soon anyways," the last statement got a laugh from the gathered, "And you are so much more than just that. I want to continue this relationship and make it last forever. I want to be with you forever and for always, no matter what. I will always love you, Greg." Rory's eyes were glistening with tears as she looked into his eyes. She looked to her mother and saw tears of joy and pride in her eyes. Her grandfather and grandmother had similar looks. The entire town did in fact, including Luke.

"Gregory," the pastor began, "you may recite your vows now."

"Rory, I love you so much. God knows we've been through a lot in our lives. You are so amazing. You helped be when I was going through hard times. You helped me overcome all the obstacles I've faced. I don't know how I got so lucky as to be with you. I am so glad you are the mother of my child. I am so glad that I have you in my life. I have always loved you ever since that say at the gazebo. I guess it makes sense that we should be married at this very spot- the gazebo. You are my friend, my lover, my role model, my confidant, my guidepost, you are about to be my wife, and you are so much more than just that. I love you so much. My love for you is never ending. It is forever. Rory, I will love you eternally- no matter what." He looked in her other eyes. They were entranced in each other's gaze.

"Lorelai," the pastor said, "you may recite the traditional vows at this time."

"I, Lorelai, take you Gregory, to be my lawfully wedded husband, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever. I will trust you and honor you. I will laugh with you and cry with you. I will love you faithfully through the best and the worst, through the difficult and the easy. What may come I will always be there. As I have given you my hand to hold
so I give you my life to keep, until death do us part, so help me God.3"

"Gregory."

"I, Gregory, take you Rory, to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever. I will trust you and honor you. I will laugh with you and cry with you. I will love you faithfully through the best and the worst, through the difficult and the easy. What may come I will always be there. As I have given you my hand to hold so I give you my life to keep, until death do us part, so help me God.4"

"Your gift to each other for your wedding today has been your wedding rings - which shall always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect; and a public showing of your commitment to each other," the pastor began, "You now have what remains the most honorable title which may exist between a man and a woman - the title of "husband" and "wife." For your first gift as husband and wife, that gift will be a single rose. In the past, the rose was considered a symbol of love and a single rose always meant only one thing - it meant the words "I love you." So it is appropriate that for your first gift - as husband and wife - that gift would be a single rose. Please exchange your first gift as husband and wife. In some ways it seems like you have not done anything at all. Just a moment ago you were holding one small rose - and now you are holding one small rose. In some ways, a marriage ceremony is like this. In some ways, tomorrow is going to seem no different than yesterday. But in fact today, just now, you both have given and received one of the most valuable and precious gifts of life - one I hope you always remember - the gift of true and abiding love within the devotion of marriage. Gregory and Lorelai, I would ask that where ever you make your home in the future - whether it be a large and elegant home - or a small and graceful one - that you both pick one very special location for roses; so that on each anniversary of this truly wonderful occasion you both may take a rose to that spot both as a recommitment to your marriage - and a recommitment that THIS will be a marriage based upon love. In every marriage there are times where it is difficult to find the right words. It is easiest to hurt who we most love. It is easiest to be most hurt by who we most love. It might be difficult some time to words to say "I am sorry" or "I forgive you"; "I need you" or "I am hurting". If this should happen, if you simply can not find these words, leave a rose at that spot which both of you have selected - for that rose than says what matters most of all and should overpower all other things and all other words. That rose says the words: "I still love you." The other should accept this rose for the words which can not be found, and remember the love and hope that you both share today. Gregory and Lorelai, if there is anything you remember of this marriage ceremony, it is that it was love that brought you here today, it is only love which can make it a glorious union, and it is by love which your marriage shall endure.5"

"If there is anyone here who does not think that this man and this woman should be lawfully wed, speak now or forever hold your peace," the pastorwaited, but the place was silent, so he continued. "Since there are no objections I shall continue. By the power vested in me by the Connecticut Protestant Community, I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

The church filled with clapping and shouts of joy. After the two had kissed, the priest spoke up again. "And now, for the first time ever, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Jeffery Anderson."

The rest of the evening had went off without a hitch. The reception had been great. The night had been great. They had been together....

... the waiter came over to Rory's table and gave her the bill which she paid for. As she opened her wallet she saw a picture of her oldest son, Ryan, and she remembered the night he was born...

... "Oh my God!," Rory exclaimed in the middle of dinner. "My water just broke! I'm having the baby!"

"What? You're having the baby?" Greg asked frantically getting up from the table.

"Yeah, but let's stay clam. My bag is by the closet in our room. OOOOOOO! Contraction time. Here we go!"

"Mom, you having the baby?" Brooke asked.

"Yeah, Sweetie. Your brother is coming." Gregory had gotten her things and they headed to the car. Within fifteen minutes they were at the hospital. Lorelai had gotten there within five minutes after them.

"Well," the doctor began, "I think you can expect a quick delivery. You will probably have this little guy in the next two hours." Sure enough, he was right and within an hour Rory was struggling as she gave birth to her son.

"Greg," Rory shouted, "Oh my God! Hold my hand! Mommy! Hold my hand, too!" They both did as they were asked.

"Oh," Lorelai said, "just breathe honey. It'll be okay."

"Here comes the head. Just a little further, Rory. You can do it," the doctor encouraged. The baby came, but there was no sound of cries, only the doctors and nurses hurrying around frantically.

"What's wrong?" Rory addressed the female doctor.

"He's not breathing yet. Relax." Lorelai stood there, scared, still holding her daughter's hand. She didn't pray much but she did now. She prayed for her grandson's life.

"What do you mean 'relax'? You say my son isn't breathing and you expect me to relax? I'm no doctor, but I know if a baby isn't breathing it isn't good." Then Rory, Lorelai, and Greg heard the best sound they ever had heard in their livees. The cries Rory's son. "Oh my God! He's okay! He's okay!"

A nurse brought the little boy to his mom and dad.

"Hi little boy," Rory said, "you are so handsome. What shall we name you? How about Ryan? Yes, Ryan Richard Anderson. What do you think, dad?"

"I think it's perfect. He's perfect."

"Uh huh!"

"Mommy," Brooke exclaimed as she was led into the room my a nurse. "Is that my baby brother?"

"Yes it is, Sweetie. Meet Ryan, your little brother," Rory told the amazed little girl.

"He's so little."

"Yes he is."

"He's cute."

"Yeah, he is. Just like you were." The panic that had gone through her mind was gone. She felt so serene, with her family. Holding her son, looking at her daughter, and in her husband's arm with her mom next to her.

"Can I hold him?" Brooke asked awhile later.

"Yeah," Greg answered. "You can." He placed the baby that was in his arms into hers. It was beautiful. They were beautiful.

Greg hadn't known it, but Rory had been watching him at this moment. 'He is so amazing. I love him so much. I am so glad he's part of my family.'

... That family was broken now. That was all she could think of. He wasn't there and now Rory sat alone- a nameless person in a nameless place. She felt so alone. But she had to push that aside. She had to be strong...for her kids. Rory walked out of the cafe to go to her mom's to pick up her kids. She didn't know that someone was watching her. Someone who would help her get through this, so she wouldn't be alone. Someone she'd once loved. But for all Rory knew she was alone. She'd raise her kids alone. She'd grow old alone. She's live alone. A widow at 29. Alone.

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A/N: So how'd ya like it? Please tell me by reviewing. I will be honest and say that I didn't write all of the vows/ poetry/ etc. But I will give credit to those who it is

1 I got this from:

2 I got this from:

3/4 I got this from:

I may have tweaked them a little but I gave 'em credit. If the links don't show up it is cause my computer isn't working. I'll give credit next time if it doesn't. I also am having trouble so if something looks like it should be there but isn't let me know. By the way, Rory's daughter is Lorelai Brooke Anderson. Thanks

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Thanx--- shininglight14