Chapter Two- Misunderstandings
John stood outside of Rodi's wondering if he was doing the right thing by trying to talk to Natalie here. So far in the last two days she had avoided every phone call and attempt he had made to talk to her. Not that he had much of a chance, between trying to keep his job with the bureau and making sure Haver stayed behind bars where he belonged he had not had much of chance to do anything.
"Well, here goes nothing..." taking a deep breath he pushed opened the door. He felt like a teenager again, not knowing what to expect.
Natalie knew the moment he stepped in the bar. She had put off dealing with him hoping against hope that she could just forget what had happened between them. But, as soon as she saw him and their eyes made contact she knew that forgetting the passion that seemed to flow between them would be like forgetting how to breath.
"Hi... I know this isn't a good time, but I just wanted to see how you were doing..." John had no idea where to begin , so he tried to sound casual and thought that he couldn't have made a worse attempt.
"Oh! I am fine. Busy. How are things going with you?" Natalie was stung by the indifference she heard in his voice. Had they destroyed a perfectly good friendship that night?
"Better. I, uh, I am still trying to decide if I am going to take your Uncle Bo up on his offer and stick around at the LPD for awhile. Just waiting on the final paper work from the Bureau and getting ready for the trial. Look about the other night..." He felt at such a loss for words, which had to be a definite first.
"John, look we are both adults here. It was a mistake and should never have happened... we both agree... so let's not make a big deal out of it. I mean, why mess up a good friendship right?" She tried to keep from meeting his eyes and picked up a bar towel and pretended to clean the spotless bar in between them
John was so surprised at the easy dismissal of what had been an amazing and perfect night to him. Did she regret it? Looking away he tried to find the words to tell her that she was wrong that what had happened had been right between them.
Natalie knew he was searching for words to tell her that she was right. He was trying to be gentle and not hurt her, but she knew how he really felt. He had been using her a substitute for Katelyn, she knew that and every time she remembered they way he had said her name after they had spent the night in each other's arms it broke her heart all over again. He stilled loved her, probably always would, just as she loved Cristian, and no one could ever take his place... right?
"Natalie... what happened... it was unexpected... but.."
"I really can't do this right now... let's just leave it ok. Let's leave it as easing the hurt...ok"
Of course, she was hurting over Cristian. How stupid of him to think it was about him, when she was probably feeling she had betrayed the man she loved. But, he couldn't lose her over this, she was the one good thing in his chaotic life. "Whatever you want Natalie. I just don't want to lose you or our friendship over this. You mean too much to me." John reached out and took Natalie's pale slender hand into his, "Our friendship means too much to me." How perfect they fit together... shaking his head absently he pushed that thought out of his head. He couldn't afford to think like that with so much at risk.
Just not enough she thought, "Friends... always." She quickly squeezed his hand and turned away so he would not see the flash of hurt in her eyes. Hoping that he wouldn't realize how close she had come to choking over the words.
Letting out a sigh of relief John turned and ran his hand through his hair. He wouldn't lose her... not if he could help it, even if it meant never kissing her or holding her again.
She turned to stop him before he reached the door, but something was holding her back. How did she think this was going to end anyway? They were completely wrong for each other. One night of passion did not love make... wasn't there some stupid saying that went like that?
John stood outside of Rodi's wondering if he was doing the right thing by trying to talk to Natalie here. So far in the last two days she had avoided every phone call and attempt he had made to talk to her. Not that he had much of a chance, between trying to keep his job with the bureau and making sure Haver stayed behind bars where he belonged he had not had much of chance to do anything.
"Well, here goes nothing..." taking a deep breath he pushed opened the door. He felt like a teenager again, not knowing what to expect.
Natalie knew the moment he stepped in the bar. She had put off dealing with him hoping against hope that she could just forget what had happened between them. But, as soon as she saw him and their eyes made contact she knew that forgetting the passion that seemed to flow between them would be like forgetting how to breath.
"Hi... I know this isn't a good time, but I just wanted to see how you were doing..." John had no idea where to begin , so he tried to sound casual and thought that he couldn't have made a worse attempt.
"Oh! I am fine. Busy. How are things going with you?" Natalie was stung by the indifference she heard in his voice. Had they destroyed a perfectly good friendship that night?
"Better. I, uh, I am still trying to decide if I am going to take your Uncle Bo up on his offer and stick around at the LPD for awhile. Just waiting on the final paper work from the Bureau and getting ready for the trial. Look about the other night..." He felt at such a loss for words, which had to be a definite first.
"John, look we are both adults here. It was a mistake and should never have happened... we both agree... so let's not make a big deal out of it. I mean, why mess up a good friendship right?" She tried to keep from meeting his eyes and picked up a bar towel and pretended to clean the spotless bar in between them
John was so surprised at the easy dismissal of what had been an amazing and perfect night to him. Did she regret it? Looking away he tried to find the words to tell her that she was wrong that what had happened had been right between them.
Natalie knew he was searching for words to tell her that she was right. He was trying to be gentle and not hurt her, but she knew how he really felt. He had been using her a substitute for Katelyn, she knew that and every time she remembered they way he had said her name after they had spent the night in each other's arms it broke her heart all over again. He stilled loved her, probably always would, just as she loved Cristian, and no one could ever take his place... right?
"Natalie... what happened... it was unexpected... but.."
"I really can't do this right now... let's just leave it ok. Let's leave it as easing the hurt...ok"
Of course, she was hurting over Cristian. How stupid of him to think it was about him, when she was probably feeling she had betrayed the man she loved. But, he couldn't lose her over this, she was the one good thing in his chaotic life. "Whatever you want Natalie. I just don't want to lose you or our friendship over this. You mean too much to me." John reached out and took Natalie's pale slender hand into his, "Our friendship means too much to me." How perfect they fit together... shaking his head absently he pushed that thought out of his head. He couldn't afford to think like that with so much at risk.
Just not enough she thought, "Friends... always." She quickly squeezed his hand and turned away so he would not see the flash of hurt in her eyes. Hoping that he wouldn't realize how close she had come to choking over the words.
Letting out a sigh of relief John turned and ran his hand through his hair. He wouldn't lose her... not if he could help it, even if it meant never kissing her or holding her again.
She turned to stop him before he reached the door, but something was holding her back. How did she think this was going to end anyway? They were completely wrong for each other. One night of passion did not love make... wasn't there some stupid saying that went like that?