Chapter Six- A Little Peanut
** Thanks for all of the reviews! I made this an extra long chapter and I decided to scrap the idea I had a make this a TOTAL John and Natalie romance! No crossovers! I hope you like it all the same and keep up the support because I NEED it : ) !~ serendipity
*** For those really "fact" critical people, please be tolerant. The motherhood is still a complete mystery to me so I am doing the best I can.
John woke up and looked around the room. His headache had disappeared and he felt better than he had in weeks. Natalie had finally reached out to him and he now had hope that maybe they could figure out this thing that was between them. More than anything he wanted to be in her life, even if it was just as a friend. Stretching he rolled over and looked at the clock. He had called Bo on the way home and told him that he would be in late this afternoon so he didn't have to be back to work for anther eight hours. He had just enough time to get dressed and meet Natalie for lunch if she would agree.
He sat up and began to look for his phone. He could have sworn he had laid it on the nightstand. Getting up he walked over to the dresser and there it was sitting in plain sight. He must have been more tired than he thought.
Dialing he held his breath, when her voice mail picked up he quickly left a message for her to call him back as soon as she got the message. This time they would talk and they take a step forward instead of three steps back.
Natalie stared down at the phone. John... he must have had an attack of conscience for him to be calling so early in the day. She wanted to dismiss it, but just seeing his name and number on her caller ID made her heart skip a beat.
She and Jess had gotten up early to do some research on heart disease, diets, and exercises that were beneficial to people with heart disease and were sitting in the study at Llanfair browsing through some information on the internet. Vicki had laughed when they had suggested it, saying they were being silly and that her doctor was fine. Jess had mentioned that it was better to be informed and Natalie
"Who was that?" Jess saw the smile on Natalie's face and knew it was John. Only he could make her light up like that. She had definitely been preoccupied all morning.
"Uh, yea... that was John. I just don't feel like talking right now... I mean what we are doing is a priority you know." Natalie knew her sister didn't believe her, but she had to try to make sense of it herself. She knew that even if she and John weren't a couple, even if they never got beyond one crazy night, that they were going to be forever connected and she would owed her child a chance. No one, not that leggy blonde, nor Cristian or Kaitlyn's ghost could change her mind. But, how did you tell a man that didn't want anymore than a one night stand that you were keeping a part of him forever?
"Nat... you there? You are million miles away..."
"Yea, hey look, I have to run some errands and I'll give you a call later... is that ok?" Natalie grabbed her purse and jacket and headed for the mall. She may not be ready to tell everyone about the baby, but that didn't mean she didn't need to start preparing for the changes her life was going to go through.
Walking into the bookstore she found the aisle that she was looking for grabbed several books including, "What's to Expect When Expecting" when a book caught her eye. It was the father's version of the same book. On an instinct she picked it up and added it to her collection. If she ever got around to telling John he might appreciate it.
Her first ultrasound was next week and she decided that maybe it would be better to not tell John or anyone until she knew without a doubt that her baby was healthy and that things were going ok. Paying for her books she walked out into the mall and headed toward the exit. Just before she got to the exit she saw a Babies R' Us store and couldn't stop herself from walking in. Walking from aisle to aisle she felt that warm feeling flow through her. She stood staring at these soft, stuffed animal and she just couldn't resist. Picking up the softest, most cuddly bear she walked to the check out and paid for it. Her baby's first toy.
It was at that moment, she knew more than anything she wanted to share this with John. Would he be mad, would he want her to keep their child, would he even care? She needed to know.
Dialing his number she held her breath, "John? Hey it's Natalie. I know you're probably busy, but could you maybe meet me at my place in about an hour? Great! I'll fix lunch or something."
It was one thirty in the afternoon and most normal people had already eaten by now. But then with morning sickness, or all-day sickness as her case seemed to be, sneaking up at every turn she had managed to eat much today, and John was such a work-a-holic that she would bet money that he hadn't eaten all day either.
John sat at Natalie's kitchen table staring at her as she fixed them sandwichs. She seemed nervous, moving on from place to place, chatting about random topics and he had no idea if she had even taken a breath in between sentences. She was kind of cute when she was flustered.
"Hey, Natalie, I know that you are dying to tell me all about the quirks of the human heart, but can you slow down? I think you lost me between yoga and walking everyday."
Natalie stopped what she was doing and sat down across from him. It was now or never because she was about to throw-up and she didn't think her nerves could stand anymore suspense.
"John... I have to tell you something... I am not sure how you are going to take it... maybe you'll freak out and run out of here screaming. Maybe you'll faint... I just..."
"Look, you can tell me anything. I think you know that. I mean, if it's about the other night..."
"John... I am pregnant." Natalie hadn't meant to blurt it out, but that is how it came out and it just was there hanging in between them. The room was so silent that you could hear the clock on the wall ticking.
She watched emotions cross his face and felt her heart sink, he didn't want this baby. She knew it... she knew...
"Oh no..." Jumping up she ran for the bathroom. She didn't even have time to be embarrassed, she barely made it to the toilet before she threw up. Her mom said that this nausea shouldn't last more than 3 months... and she was more than ready for that day to get here. Sprawled in a heap in front of the toilet she rested her head on her arms and prayed that her stomach would settle. It never occurred to her that John would follow her until she felt his hands holding her hair off her neck and rubbing her back. Groaning she lifted her head to meet his eyes.
"Well, I was going to try a more subtle tactic of dropping this bomb shell, but it seems baby wants to make it's prescience known..." Reaching for a towel she wiped her face and carefully stood up.
John didn't know what to say or what to feel. He just stood there and stared at her. This woman was carrying his child, and instead of dread or fear he felt like he was the most powerful man in the world.
Clearing his throat he asked the question that was keeping his emotions in check, "Have you decided what you want to do? I mean, you have options, and I don't want to..."
Natalie felt instantly defensive, "I am keeping my baby! Look, I don't know how you feel about children and to be honest until I found out I wasn't sure how I felt, but I am going to have MY baby..."
"Our baby..." John corrected hesitantly.
"What?" Natalie had been already to give her little speech and she hadn't expected that reaction.
"You mean, OUR baby." John saw the tears fill Natalie's eyes and he pulled her carefully into his arms and held her tight, "Natalie, we may not be in the most normal circumstance for having a baby, but we are. And if you will let me, I want to be a father to our child. I can't lie, I am scared shitless, but if you'll be patient with me I promise I learn, ok."
Natalie was speechless. In a million years, she wouldn't have guessed that John would have this reaction to finding out she was carrying his child. But, silently she thanked God for answering her prayers and made another silent pray that they would be able to get through the next 7 months together without killing each other.
After what felt like an hour John released Natalie and they went into the kitchen and talked. Carefully leaving out their feelings towards each other they talked about everything from Natalie's nausea and weird cravings to vitamins and diapers. They even managed to crack a few jokes about her upcoming weight shift. Both agreed that until after the third month they were going to keep this as quiet as possible. Besides as Natalie was quick to point out, they needed time to figure out what they wanted to do and get used to the idea of becoming parents even though they weren't married.
As John got ready to leave he gave Natalie a hug, "I'll see you at the doctor's office... I told you I WANTED to be there... so get that look of your face. Call if you need anything, ok."
And then if the day hadn't been surprising enough he leaned down and put his hand on Natalie's stomach, "Look kid, I am your daddy and I want you to let you're mom get some rest and she's getting kind of puny so let her eat something, ok."
Standing up he smiled at Natalie in a cute kind of embarrassed way and turned to leave. Natalie wanted to yell at him to stay, to never leave, but she knew that if they were going to have a chance, things couldn't be rushed. And putting her hands on the exact same place John had she smiled, "I think what you're daddy wanted to say was that there is hope after all. What do you think kiddo?"
A WEEK LATER...
Natalie stood pacing the lobby. It wasn't easy in this hospital to go unnoticed and she was really nervous about someone spotting her and John in the Obstetrics Lobby together. He had been so cute this last week, asking all kinds of questions, reading his book, that she had bought for him and making notes in the margins. He even came by Rodi's and made sure she took a break for lunch everyday and even lectured her about staying on her feet and working when she got further along. Normally she would have resented being told what to do, but for once it was kind of nice to have someone looking after her and it made her feel more secure about where he wanted to be in her life.
Just as the nurse called for her to come back John practically ran into the room
"Hey... Sorry I am late. We got a few weird cases today and I was helping Antonio out with some paperwork. Umm... This ultrasound sounds kind of personal, so I figured I would what out here... you might not want me to intrude or anything..."
Natalie looked at the nurse, "How does this work? Can he come in and see the baby too?"
"Sure, father's are welcome once we get you started. You'll be covered up so there's need for your husband to be embarrassed."
Natalie was about to correct the nurses mistake when John gave her hand a quick squeeze and smile, "OK, dear, go ahead I'll be in there soon." And gave her a wink.
"Ok, honey, see you soon!" Natalie could get used to this new side of John he was so relaxed, so calm. It made this much easier for her.
John was a nervous wreck. He had been so afraid that Natalie wouldn't want him to be here, or that something would be wrong with the baby. It had taken every once of strength he had not to let his detective side bust out and hound the nurse with a million questions. Running his hand through his hair, he paced the hallway waiting to be allowed in.
"Ok... you can come in now." John followed the nurse in the room. Natalie was laying nervously on an exam table and she was about three different shade of red. For a minute he didn't realize why she was embarrassed until he saw the doctor sitting between her legs with her hands underneath a sheet.
Natalie started laughing as John's eyes widened and he turned four shades of red.
"Come here..."Natalie waved him over to her side and pointed to the screen, "Our baby is about to make it's big movie debut."
"Now, don't worry if you can't see much this first ultrasound. You are really early still so you won't be able to tell what you are looking at right off the bat." The doctor smiled and Natalie and John stared at one another and then the screen and neither of them realized that they were holding hands.
"And here we go... now... you see this little blob... well, that is your baby. And I would say that everything is looking pretty normal. Now for the heartbeat..."
The quick sound of a little heartbeat filled the room. John couldn't say a word, and for the first time it hit him, he was really going to be a father. This was real and not just a dream. He looked at Natalie who was crying softly and smiling at the screen. When she turned to look at him her eyes soft and full of love and tears, her red hair falling about her shoulders, he knew he was seeing an angel. He couldn't deny it anymore, he loved her, he loved this beautiful, stubborn woman, and she was having his child.
"He looks like a peanut..." Natalie said breaking into laughter and wiping her eyes.
"He? You think it's a boy?" John wiped a tear from her eye and smiled at her with all the love and hope he felt.
"Yeah, he's a boy. Our little peanut is a boy." Natalie didn't know how she knew it, but she felt in her heart that a boy was growing inside her.
"Peanut, huh? You realize that you might be ruining the kid for life if that nickname sticks?" Laughing they smile at each other and stared at the future. Together, in whatever form, both felt love for this tiny little miracle.
** Thanks for all of the reviews! I made this an extra long chapter and I decided to scrap the idea I had a make this a TOTAL John and Natalie romance! No crossovers! I hope you like it all the same and keep up the support because I NEED it : ) !~ serendipity
*** For those really "fact" critical people, please be tolerant. The motherhood is still a complete mystery to me so I am doing the best I can.
John woke up and looked around the room. His headache had disappeared and he felt better than he had in weeks. Natalie had finally reached out to him and he now had hope that maybe they could figure out this thing that was between them. More than anything he wanted to be in her life, even if it was just as a friend. Stretching he rolled over and looked at the clock. He had called Bo on the way home and told him that he would be in late this afternoon so he didn't have to be back to work for anther eight hours. He had just enough time to get dressed and meet Natalie for lunch if she would agree.
He sat up and began to look for his phone. He could have sworn he had laid it on the nightstand. Getting up he walked over to the dresser and there it was sitting in plain sight. He must have been more tired than he thought.
Dialing he held his breath, when her voice mail picked up he quickly left a message for her to call him back as soon as she got the message. This time they would talk and they take a step forward instead of three steps back.
Natalie stared down at the phone. John... he must have had an attack of conscience for him to be calling so early in the day. She wanted to dismiss it, but just seeing his name and number on her caller ID made her heart skip a beat.
She and Jess had gotten up early to do some research on heart disease, diets, and exercises that were beneficial to people with heart disease and were sitting in the study at Llanfair browsing through some information on the internet. Vicki had laughed when they had suggested it, saying they were being silly and that her doctor was fine. Jess had mentioned that it was better to be informed and Natalie
"Who was that?" Jess saw the smile on Natalie's face and knew it was John. Only he could make her light up like that. She had definitely been preoccupied all morning.
"Uh, yea... that was John. I just don't feel like talking right now... I mean what we are doing is a priority you know." Natalie knew her sister didn't believe her, but she had to try to make sense of it herself. She knew that even if she and John weren't a couple, even if they never got beyond one crazy night, that they were going to be forever connected and she would owed her child a chance. No one, not that leggy blonde, nor Cristian or Kaitlyn's ghost could change her mind. But, how did you tell a man that didn't want anymore than a one night stand that you were keeping a part of him forever?
"Nat... you there? You are million miles away..."
"Yea, hey look, I have to run some errands and I'll give you a call later... is that ok?" Natalie grabbed her purse and jacket and headed for the mall. She may not be ready to tell everyone about the baby, but that didn't mean she didn't need to start preparing for the changes her life was going to go through.
Walking into the bookstore she found the aisle that she was looking for grabbed several books including, "What's to Expect When Expecting" when a book caught her eye. It was the father's version of the same book. On an instinct she picked it up and added it to her collection. If she ever got around to telling John he might appreciate it.
Her first ultrasound was next week and she decided that maybe it would be better to not tell John or anyone until she knew without a doubt that her baby was healthy and that things were going ok. Paying for her books she walked out into the mall and headed toward the exit. Just before she got to the exit she saw a Babies R' Us store and couldn't stop herself from walking in. Walking from aisle to aisle she felt that warm feeling flow through her. She stood staring at these soft, stuffed animal and she just couldn't resist. Picking up the softest, most cuddly bear she walked to the check out and paid for it. Her baby's first toy.
It was at that moment, she knew more than anything she wanted to share this with John. Would he be mad, would he want her to keep their child, would he even care? She needed to know.
Dialing his number she held her breath, "John? Hey it's Natalie. I know you're probably busy, but could you maybe meet me at my place in about an hour? Great! I'll fix lunch or something."
It was one thirty in the afternoon and most normal people had already eaten by now. But then with morning sickness, or all-day sickness as her case seemed to be, sneaking up at every turn she had managed to eat much today, and John was such a work-a-holic that she would bet money that he hadn't eaten all day either.
John sat at Natalie's kitchen table staring at her as she fixed them sandwichs. She seemed nervous, moving on from place to place, chatting about random topics and he had no idea if she had even taken a breath in between sentences. She was kind of cute when she was flustered.
"Hey, Natalie, I know that you are dying to tell me all about the quirks of the human heart, but can you slow down? I think you lost me between yoga and walking everyday."
Natalie stopped what she was doing and sat down across from him. It was now or never because she was about to throw-up and she didn't think her nerves could stand anymore suspense.
"John... I have to tell you something... I am not sure how you are going to take it... maybe you'll freak out and run out of here screaming. Maybe you'll faint... I just..."
"Look, you can tell me anything. I think you know that. I mean, if it's about the other night..."
"John... I am pregnant." Natalie hadn't meant to blurt it out, but that is how it came out and it just was there hanging in between them. The room was so silent that you could hear the clock on the wall ticking.
She watched emotions cross his face and felt her heart sink, he didn't want this baby. She knew it... she knew...
"Oh no..." Jumping up she ran for the bathroom. She didn't even have time to be embarrassed, she barely made it to the toilet before she threw up. Her mom said that this nausea shouldn't last more than 3 months... and she was more than ready for that day to get here. Sprawled in a heap in front of the toilet she rested her head on her arms and prayed that her stomach would settle. It never occurred to her that John would follow her until she felt his hands holding her hair off her neck and rubbing her back. Groaning she lifted her head to meet his eyes.
"Well, I was going to try a more subtle tactic of dropping this bomb shell, but it seems baby wants to make it's prescience known..." Reaching for a towel she wiped her face and carefully stood up.
John didn't know what to say or what to feel. He just stood there and stared at her. This woman was carrying his child, and instead of dread or fear he felt like he was the most powerful man in the world.
Clearing his throat he asked the question that was keeping his emotions in check, "Have you decided what you want to do? I mean, you have options, and I don't want to..."
Natalie felt instantly defensive, "I am keeping my baby! Look, I don't know how you feel about children and to be honest until I found out I wasn't sure how I felt, but I am going to have MY baby..."
"Our baby..." John corrected hesitantly.
"What?" Natalie had been already to give her little speech and she hadn't expected that reaction.
"You mean, OUR baby." John saw the tears fill Natalie's eyes and he pulled her carefully into his arms and held her tight, "Natalie, we may not be in the most normal circumstance for having a baby, but we are. And if you will let me, I want to be a father to our child. I can't lie, I am scared shitless, but if you'll be patient with me I promise I learn, ok."
Natalie was speechless. In a million years, she wouldn't have guessed that John would have this reaction to finding out she was carrying his child. But, silently she thanked God for answering her prayers and made another silent pray that they would be able to get through the next 7 months together without killing each other.
After what felt like an hour John released Natalie and they went into the kitchen and talked. Carefully leaving out their feelings towards each other they talked about everything from Natalie's nausea and weird cravings to vitamins and diapers. They even managed to crack a few jokes about her upcoming weight shift. Both agreed that until after the third month they were going to keep this as quiet as possible. Besides as Natalie was quick to point out, they needed time to figure out what they wanted to do and get used to the idea of becoming parents even though they weren't married.
As John got ready to leave he gave Natalie a hug, "I'll see you at the doctor's office... I told you I WANTED to be there... so get that look of your face. Call if you need anything, ok."
And then if the day hadn't been surprising enough he leaned down and put his hand on Natalie's stomach, "Look kid, I am your daddy and I want you to let you're mom get some rest and she's getting kind of puny so let her eat something, ok."
Standing up he smiled at Natalie in a cute kind of embarrassed way and turned to leave. Natalie wanted to yell at him to stay, to never leave, but she knew that if they were going to have a chance, things couldn't be rushed. And putting her hands on the exact same place John had she smiled, "I think what you're daddy wanted to say was that there is hope after all. What do you think kiddo?"
A WEEK LATER...
Natalie stood pacing the lobby. It wasn't easy in this hospital to go unnoticed and she was really nervous about someone spotting her and John in the Obstetrics Lobby together. He had been so cute this last week, asking all kinds of questions, reading his book, that she had bought for him and making notes in the margins. He even came by Rodi's and made sure she took a break for lunch everyday and even lectured her about staying on her feet and working when she got further along. Normally she would have resented being told what to do, but for once it was kind of nice to have someone looking after her and it made her feel more secure about where he wanted to be in her life.
Just as the nurse called for her to come back John practically ran into the room
"Hey... Sorry I am late. We got a few weird cases today and I was helping Antonio out with some paperwork. Umm... This ultrasound sounds kind of personal, so I figured I would what out here... you might not want me to intrude or anything..."
Natalie looked at the nurse, "How does this work? Can he come in and see the baby too?"
"Sure, father's are welcome once we get you started. You'll be covered up so there's need for your husband to be embarrassed."
Natalie was about to correct the nurses mistake when John gave her hand a quick squeeze and smile, "OK, dear, go ahead I'll be in there soon." And gave her a wink.
"Ok, honey, see you soon!" Natalie could get used to this new side of John he was so relaxed, so calm. It made this much easier for her.
John was a nervous wreck. He had been so afraid that Natalie wouldn't want him to be here, or that something would be wrong with the baby. It had taken every once of strength he had not to let his detective side bust out and hound the nurse with a million questions. Running his hand through his hair, he paced the hallway waiting to be allowed in.
"Ok... you can come in now." John followed the nurse in the room. Natalie was laying nervously on an exam table and she was about three different shade of red. For a minute he didn't realize why she was embarrassed until he saw the doctor sitting between her legs with her hands underneath a sheet.
Natalie started laughing as John's eyes widened and he turned four shades of red.
"Come here..."Natalie waved him over to her side and pointed to the screen, "Our baby is about to make it's big movie debut."
"Now, don't worry if you can't see much this first ultrasound. You are really early still so you won't be able to tell what you are looking at right off the bat." The doctor smiled and Natalie and John stared at one another and then the screen and neither of them realized that they were holding hands.
"And here we go... now... you see this little blob... well, that is your baby. And I would say that everything is looking pretty normal. Now for the heartbeat..."
The quick sound of a little heartbeat filled the room. John couldn't say a word, and for the first time it hit him, he was really going to be a father. This was real and not just a dream. He looked at Natalie who was crying softly and smiling at the screen. When she turned to look at him her eyes soft and full of love and tears, her red hair falling about her shoulders, he knew he was seeing an angel. He couldn't deny it anymore, he loved her, he loved this beautiful, stubborn woman, and she was having his child.
"He looks like a peanut..." Natalie said breaking into laughter and wiping her eyes.
"He? You think it's a boy?" John wiped a tear from her eye and smiled at her with all the love and hope he felt.
"Yeah, he's a boy. Our little peanut is a boy." Natalie didn't know how she knew it, but she felt in her heart that a boy was growing inside her.
"Peanut, huh? You realize that you might be ruining the kid for life if that nickname sticks?" Laughing they smile at each other and stared at the future. Together, in whatever form, both felt love for this tiny little miracle.