Disclaimer: I do not own Third Watch. I can only take credit for Alicia Garland.
Alicia's Revenge: Chapter Eighteen
The week that Bosco and Faith had off, wasn't much of a help. For the most part, Bosco was distant and moody and spent practically the whole day in bed.
Faith couldn't blame him. She left him alone, unless he wanted the company. The twins were a little confused as to why he didn't play with them or read to them anymore. Faith told them that their daddy was sad and he needed to be alone for a bit.
The initial shock had worn off but reality had set in. Never again would he go and see his mother at the bar. Never again would she call him, drunk, in the middle of the night....or day. Sometimes both. He would always miss her and a part of him died right along with her.
Bosco was in such a panic on the day of Rose's funeral, Faith thought he might have a heart attack. He was worried that Raymond would show up and try and sit with them in the family pew. He hadn't. Faith saw a glimpse of him sitting in the last row in the back of the church.
He didn't have to do that, but he did. He and Rose hadn't been together for years, but he respected Bosco's feelings enough to stay out of sight.
The truth was, that Bosco just couldn't deal with his father asking for forgiveness. He had always wished that Raymond was a real father. He had grown up wishing and praying that Raymond would show he and Mikey a little affection. It had never happened. Not once that he could remember.
Too many times, Raymond had hit them. Too many times, he had verbally abused them. It was too late for forgiveness. But, a part of Bosco wanted to start over. He just couldn't let go of his anger. The truth was, that a part of him still wanted a father to confide in and look up to. He wanted to say something to Ray, but he was afraid. Afraid that he'd be rejected. Afraid that he'd be ignored, or worse, laughed at. The only way they knew was anger. The worst part was that if he didn't soon go and talk to him, it would be too late. Someday, his father would be gone and Bosco had a lot of things to say. He didn't want to be best friends with him, but he still needed to vent about his childhood. Bosco felt guilty for telling Ray off at the funeral home. He felt it, because he saw the look of hurt that had passed over his father's face. Bosco had never heard his father apologize for anything. Ever.
Faith didn't know it, but he had listened to the whole conversation between her and Raymond that night. He wanted to hear what he had to say and he needed to hear what she would say to him. He was pleased that she stuck up for him and left the decision making to him. He was sad and confused about the things he heard his father say. He couldn't deal with it, so, he turned to anger. The safest emotion to use when you can't deal with anything else.
He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about his childhood. They didn't have many good times together, but at least he and Mikey had a mom that loved them. Raymond always managed to ruin every celebration they ever attempted to have. Christmas was terrifying. Raymond was always drunk. When he was drunk he was mean. Damn mean. The boys had stopped getting up early on Christmas morning because they were too scared of Raymond and waking him up. On the Christmas mornings when he wasn't around, Rose would wake them up and they would open their gifts together. Those were the times he cherished.
He had been crying all week. He couldn't seem to stop. Most of the time he would cry in private, when he was in the bedroom. He didn't want Faith or the children to become alarmed.
There were still times, though, that he couldn't hold it in. Faith had a way of getting into his soul. She was such a comfort to him. He wondered what he would have done without her. She never mentioned him doing anything that entire week. She didn't complain when he refused to get out of bed. She brought him all of his meals and cleaned up after him. She usually ended up throwing the food away because he had no appitite. If it had been anyone else, she would have lost patience already. But not with him. She knew what he needed and she gave him the space he had to have. He needed time. She just hoped that she had the patience to put up with another few days of it.
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" Bosco, are you awake"? came a soft voice, through the door.
He rolled over on his side and coughed. " Ya. Come in." he croaked.
Faith opened the bedroom door and peeked inside. He was still in the same pajamas he had been wearing for two days. His face was almost a beard now. He was going to get bedsores if he didn't start to get mobile again. He had been in bed for nine days. He had ended up having two weekends off, along with the week he had missed from work. It was starting to get on Faith's nerves, but she didn't say anything. Until now.
He had also been sick for the last two days. Probably because he refused to eat anything or get out of bed. He had gone through two bottles of Nyquil since yesterday. She thought that he just wanted the Nyquil to get a nice buzz, but she didn't mention it. At least he wasn't drinking heavy and she hoped he wouldn't start.
" Bos? We're goin' now". she said, opening the door fully and walking over to the bed.
He looked at her, confused. She had on her bathingsuit under a pink tank top and pair of blue shorts and she was carrying a huge beachbag. She looked really cute with her hair in a ponytail and her sunglasses resting on top of her head.
She sighed, visibally annoyed this time. " The kids and I are leaving for the beach house". she said, trying to jog his memory.
Apparently, he had drunk too much NyQuil to remember anything.
" Uh, I don't know what you're talkin' about" he said, as he reached over and poured a small cap of medicine.
She snorted. " You don't say? Bos, I have tried to be patient but enough is enough! You need to get out of bed! Logan and Olivia have been asking for you for TWO days and you still havn't seen them!" she said, getting frustrated.
He put the cup to his lips and swallowed. " Don't start, Faith. I'm tired and I'm sick. I need some more medicine. Can you get me some before you go to the park"? he asked, not really listening.
She sucked in her breath. Her eyes blazing. " We're NOT going to the park! We're going to Sasha's paren'ts beach house on Long Island". She hissed, grabbing the empty bottle and throwing it on the floor.
" Don't tell me to "don't start"! I have done nothing but wait on you for days! Get up and get movin! If you want more medicine you need to GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED!" she cried, as she spun on her heel and headed for the door.
" We'll be back tomorow! Enjoy yourself. I'm sure you will, since you havn't seen your family for days and days and you seem to like it that way!" she cried again, as she slammed the door.
Bosco felt awful. Had he really been that bad? He started to make his way out of bed when he heard the front door close. All was quiet. They were gone.
He sat back and really thought about his situation. He wasn't being fair, he knew that. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were. That was never gonna happen. He spent the next little while thinking about how lucky he was to have a woman like Faith in his life. She really knew how to get through to him. All he had to do was see her start to cry and he had a change of heart. She probably knew that when she got upset before she left. He knew if she came home and he was still in bed, she'd be really angry.
He knew he had been in bed long enough. He wasn't doing himself any good or his family either, by staying in bed, brooding and grieving. He needed to get back to his real life and learn to grieve in a way that still let him go about his daily activities.
He had ignored her and the kids for days. The more he thought about it, he really felt bad. He could hear Logan and Olivia talking to their mother in the kitchen, asking why daddy was in bed and when could he play. They were so little. They didn't understand.
He decided that he would be up and about by the time they got home. He would take them out for dinner, maybe, and then for a walk in the park or something. He really needed to have a shower and shave and use some Scope. Big time.
He was getting sleepy again. The medicine sure did kick in fast. He felt better now, that he had made a decision in his mind. He turned over and fell into a restful sleep.
He woke about four. He yawned and stretched his arms over his head. He threw back the covers and swung his legs over the edge. He set his feet on the floor and stood up. He was a little dizzy from being in bed for days, but he made his way down the hall into the bathroom. He turned the shower on, grabbing a towel and placing it on the toilet beside him. He filled up the sink and began to shave off a week's worth of growth.
After showering, he felt much better. Everyone always felt better after a good, hot shower. He returned to the bedroom and went through his dresser drawers. He found a white t-shirt and a pair of button-fly jeans. He dressed and put on his NYPD baseball cap and NYPD zip up hoodie. It was hot outside, but he wanted a sweater for later. He didn't know how long he'd be out.
He put on a pair of sneakers and grabbed his wallet and keys and headed out the door. He was extremely nervous. He could feel the sweat break out on the back of his neck, and his palms became clammy.
He jumped into the mustang and put it in gear. He knew he had to do this, but saying you needed to do something and actually doing it, were two different things.
He sighed, knowing that it was now or never. He had to confront his father. And he had to do it tonight.
TBC
Alicia's Revenge: Chapter Eighteen
The week that Bosco and Faith had off, wasn't much of a help. For the most part, Bosco was distant and moody and spent practically the whole day in bed.
Faith couldn't blame him. She left him alone, unless he wanted the company. The twins were a little confused as to why he didn't play with them or read to them anymore. Faith told them that their daddy was sad and he needed to be alone for a bit.
The initial shock had worn off but reality had set in. Never again would he go and see his mother at the bar. Never again would she call him, drunk, in the middle of the night....or day. Sometimes both. He would always miss her and a part of him died right along with her.
Bosco was in such a panic on the day of Rose's funeral, Faith thought he might have a heart attack. He was worried that Raymond would show up and try and sit with them in the family pew. He hadn't. Faith saw a glimpse of him sitting in the last row in the back of the church.
He didn't have to do that, but he did. He and Rose hadn't been together for years, but he respected Bosco's feelings enough to stay out of sight.
The truth was, that Bosco just couldn't deal with his father asking for forgiveness. He had always wished that Raymond was a real father. He had grown up wishing and praying that Raymond would show he and Mikey a little affection. It had never happened. Not once that he could remember.
Too many times, Raymond had hit them. Too many times, he had verbally abused them. It was too late for forgiveness. But, a part of Bosco wanted to start over. He just couldn't let go of his anger. The truth was, that a part of him still wanted a father to confide in and look up to. He wanted to say something to Ray, but he was afraid. Afraid that he'd be rejected. Afraid that he'd be ignored, or worse, laughed at. The only way they knew was anger. The worst part was that if he didn't soon go and talk to him, it would be too late. Someday, his father would be gone and Bosco had a lot of things to say. He didn't want to be best friends with him, but he still needed to vent about his childhood. Bosco felt guilty for telling Ray off at the funeral home. He felt it, because he saw the look of hurt that had passed over his father's face. Bosco had never heard his father apologize for anything. Ever.
Faith didn't know it, but he had listened to the whole conversation between her and Raymond that night. He wanted to hear what he had to say and he needed to hear what she would say to him. He was pleased that she stuck up for him and left the decision making to him. He was sad and confused about the things he heard his father say. He couldn't deal with it, so, he turned to anger. The safest emotion to use when you can't deal with anything else.
He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about his childhood. They didn't have many good times together, but at least he and Mikey had a mom that loved them. Raymond always managed to ruin every celebration they ever attempted to have. Christmas was terrifying. Raymond was always drunk. When he was drunk he was mean. Damn mean. The boys had stopped getting up early on Christmas morning because they were too scared of Raymond and waking him up. On the Christmas mornings when he wasn't around, Rose would wake them up and they would open their gifts together. Those were the times he cherished.
He had been crying all week. He couldn't seem to stop. Most of the time he would cry in private, when he was in the bedroom. He didn't want Faith or the children to become alarmed.
There were still times, though, that he couldn't hold it in. Faith had a way of getting into his soul. She was such a comfort to him. He wondered what he would have done without her. She never mentioned him doing anything that entire week. She didn't complain when he refused to get out of bed. She brought him all of his meals and cleaned up after him. She usually ended up throwing the food away because he had no appitite. If it had been anyone else, she would have lost patience already. But not with him. She knew what he needed and she gave him the space he had to have. He needed time. She just hoped that she had the patience to put up with another few days of it.
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" Bosco, are you awake"? came a soft voice, through the door.
He rolled over on his side and coughed. " Ya. Come in." he croaked.
Faith opened the bedroom door and peeked inside. He was still in the same pajamas he had been wearing for two days. His face was almost a beard now. He was going to get bedsores if he didn't start to get mobile again. He had been in bed for nine days. He had ended up having two weekends off, along with the week he had missed from work. It was starting to get on Faith's nerves, but she didn't say anything. Until now.
He had also been sick for the last two days. Probably because he refused to eat anything or get out of bed. He had gone through two bottles of Nyquil since yesterday. She thought that he just wanted the Nyquil to get a nice buzz, but she didn't mention it. At least he wasn't drinking heavy and she hoped he wouldn't start.
" Bos? We're goin' now". she said, opening the door fully and walking over to the bed.
He looked at her, confused. She had on her bathingsuit under a pink tank top and pair of blue shorts and she was carrying a huge beachbag. She looked really cute with her hair in a ponytail and her sunglasses resting on top of her head.
She sighed, visibally annoyed this time. " The kids and I are leaving for the beach house". she said, trying to jog his memory.
Apparently, he had drunk too much NyQuil to remember anything.
" Uh, I don't know what you're talkin' about" he said, as he reached over and poured a small cap of medicine.
She snorted. " You don't say? Bos, I have tried to be patient but enough is enough! You need to get out of bed! Logan and Olivia have been asking for you for TWO days and you still havn't seen them!" she said, getting frustrated.
He put the cup to his lips and swallowed. " Don't start, Faith. I'm tired and I'm sick. I need some more medicine. Can you get me some before you go to the park"? he asked, not really listening.
She sucked in her breath. Her eyes blazing. " We're NOT going to the park! We're going to Sasha's paren'ts beach house on Long Island". She hissed, grabbing the empty bottle and throwing it on the floor.
" Don't tell me to "don't start"! I have done nothing but wait on you for days! Get up and get movin! If you want more medicine you need to GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED!" she cried, as she spun on her heel and headed for the door.
" We'll be back tomorow! Enjoy yourself. I'm sure you will, since you havn't seen your family for days and days and you seem to like it that way!" she cried again, as she slammed the door.
Bosco felt awful. Had he really been that bad? He started to make his way out of bed when he heard the front door close. All was quiet. They were gone.
He sat back and really thought about his situation. He wasn't being fair, he knew that. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were. That was never gonna happen. He spent the next little while thinking about how lucky he was to have a woman like Faith in his life. She really knew how to get through to him. All he had to do was see her start to cry and he had a change of heart. She probably knew that when she got upset before she left. He knew if she came home and he was still in bed, she'd be really angry.
He knew he had been in bed long enough. He wasn't doing himself any good or his family either, by staying in bed, brooding and grieving. He needed to get back to his real life and learn to grieve in a way that still let him go about his daily activities.
He had ignored her and the kids for days. The more he thought about it, he really felt bad. He could hear Logan and Olivia talking to their mother in the kitchen, asking why daddy was in bed and when could he play. They were so little. They didn't understand.
He decided that he would be up and about by the time they got home. He would take them out for dinner, maybe, and then for a walk in the park or something. He really needed to have a shower and shave and use some Scope. Big time.
He was getting sleepy again. The medicine sure did kick in fast. He felt better now, that he had made a decision in his mind. He turned over and fell into a restful sleep.
He woke about four. He yawned and stretched his arms over his head. He threw back the covers and swung his legs over the edge. He set his feet on the floor and stood up. He was a little dizzy from being in bed for days, but he made his way down the hall into the bathroom. He turned the shower on, grabbing a towel and placing it on the toilet beside him. He filled up the sink and began to shave off a week's worth of growth.
After showering, he felt much better. Everyone always felt better after a good, hot shower. He returned to the bedroom and went through his dresser drawers. He found a white t-shirt and a pair of button-fly jeans. He dressed and put on his NYPD baseball cap and NYPD zip up hoodie. It was hot outside, but he wanted a sweater for later. He didn't know how long he'd be out.
He put on a pair of sneakers and grabbed his wallet and keys and headed out the door. He was extremely nervous. He could feel the sweat break out on the back of his neck, and his palms became clammy.
He jumped into the mustang and put it in gear. He knew he had to do this, but saying you needed to do something and actually doing it, were two different things.
He sighed, knowing that it was now or never. He had to confront his father. And he had to do it tonight.
TBC