"Wade."
"What's up Ron?"
Ron sighed and lay flat on his bed. He had already tucked Rufus in, and he was just getting ready to go to bed, himself, but Ron just had to talk to someone about his problem first.
"Nothing…" he lied, accomplishing the exact opposite of what he was going for.
"Uh…then why'd you call me?"
"Just having a little trouble sleeping, I guess."
"Oh. Well how was Kim's date? Was Eugene what she expected him to be?"
"No. He was better. They had a great time and I think Kim probably wants to go out with him again."
"See. I told her not all us 'nerds' were your typical stereotypes."
"*sigh*"
Wade looked at his freckled friend with concern. "…Well then why don't you seem too happy about it? I thought you wanted Kim to have a good time."
"Yeah…I did…but…"
"…But she had a little TOO much fun, huh?"
"Yeah, sorta. How'd you know?"
"Girl problems. Been researching them for the last few weeks. My mom wants me to 'go out and meet new people.'"
"Well…what do you think's wrong with me?"
"Uhh…well, Ron, you probably won't take this too well, but I think you might have a crush on Kim."
"*pft* Right. Everyone's saying that! It's not true!"
"Denial's always the first stage…"
"But…me and Kim've been tight for so long. We always just thought of our relationship as plat…plate…platoon-"
"Platonic?"
"Yeah."
"I don't mean to sound 'into' Kim but after she lost the braces, let her hair down, and started wearing lip gloss and body fragrances, I could see how even YOUR feelings toward her could change. She's growing, Ron. And so are you."
"Jeez, I didn't want a lesson from health class, I just wanted to know why everyone THINKS I'm digging Kim but I'm NOT."
Wade sighed. "Ron…tell ya what. How 'bout I hook you up with one of the top psychologists in the world and THEY'LL tell you what's been eating you up."
"Really?? You'd do that??"
"Well…yeah, I just have to cash in one of Kim's favors. Don't worry. I know this is personal so I won't tell her about it."
"Thanks Wade. You rock."
"Don't I know it."
"…Wait. Before you go, when will I meet this 'shrink'??"
"You'll meet this 'shrink' tomorrow in the afternoon."
"Are you sure? I wake up real early on Sundays."
"He's gonna need some time to be notified, Ron."
"Fine…"
"I'll tell you where to go when you wake up."
"How do I KNOW that he's not gonna just hypnotize me into thinking that I DO like Kim??…"
"…Ron."
"Yeah?"
"Shut up."
With that, the screen flashed a bright white light before it went blank. He was used to remarks like that so Ron shrugged it off. Tomorrow, he was gonna get to the bottom of this. He was gonna prove to EVERYONE that his feelings for Kim were nothing more than 'best friendly'. Besides, what would a girl like that want with a guy like Ron, anyway?
**********************************************
*knock*knock*
Ron opened the door.
"Huh looww??" Ron greeted, rubbing the dirt from his eyes.
"Hello Mr. Stoppable. I'm Dr. Phil. No relation to the famous TV doctor you might've heard of. You can just call me 'Phil', though." Dr. Phil held out his hand to Ron. "Nice to meet you."
Instead of accepting the handshake, Ron took a long, exhausted yawn. "The shrink? I thought Wade told me to meet you in the afternoon. Why'd you come so early?"
"……Mr. Stoppable, it's 3 P.M."
"Oh." So much for waking up early. "Well…what're you doing at my house?"
Dr. Phil walked into the Stoppable house and took seat on the nearby couch. "I've conducted a study that indicates that patients feel more comfortable to open up if they are surrounded with a familiar environment. Thus, here I am. At your 'crib', as young people like to say."
"Oh. Cool. So…when do we get started? Do I just take a seat on the couch while you ask me a whole bunch of bologna questions?"
"…No, Mr. Stoppable." Dr. Phil ignored Ron's comments but felt a little pang of annoyance from the inside. "I want you to go get dressed first. The first step in making contact with your inner self is to get comfortable, as I've already stated."
"Sure, whatever. Can I bring Rufus, too?"
"Rufus?"
"Rufus. He's my naked mole rat. I take him wherever I go."
"Sure. Whatever it takes for you to get comfortable."
"Really…"
***********************************************
(1 hour later)
"Here's your pina colada, sir. Anything ELSE??"
Ron took his icy cold beverage and set it down next to his reclining/massage chair so the automated fan located to the right of him wouldn't knock it down, and it wouldn't fall on his steak and lobster lunch.
"No, that'll be all Phil. *slurp*"
"Good. Can we get started Mr. Stoppab-"
"Eh eh eh…remember. I feel more 'comfortable' being called either Ron or R-Dawg…and yes. I'm ready."
Dr. Phil rolled his eyes and continued.
"Okay. I'm going to put out a few words. All you have to do is say the first thing that comes to your mind. They call it 'word association.' Are you ready R-Daw…Ron?"
"Yeah, go ahead. Shoot."
"Mission."
"Kim."
Dr. Phil nodded approvingly.
"School."
"Kim."
He nodded again.
"Home."
"Kim."
Okay…
"Movies."
"Kim."
Uh…
"Computer."
"Kim."
This was starting to get a little out of hand.
"Chair."
"Kim."
"Notebook."
"Kim."
"Television."
"Ki-…Possible."
"Pencil."
"Kim."
"Calculator?"
"Kim."
"Flashlight???"
"Kim."
"Mr. Stoppable, are you TOYING with me???"
Ron looked at him, oblivious to the fact that all his answers had a common theme (this IS Ron, so don't be too surprised). "No. What do you mean?"
"So you're NOT just playing around."
"Course not. I'm 100% serious."
"And you're WONDERING if you like this 'Kim Possible' girl or not???"
Ron blushed. He realized how obvious he was making things…well, if he couldn't give him real answers without sounding head over heels for Kim, he would just give him fake answers…
'Okay. From now on. All my answers will have to do with……shoes. Okay…I can do this…'
Rufus looked on happily, munching on the remains of Ron's five-star lunch.
"Do you want to continue with word association?"
"…Yeah. Go."
"Heart."
"Vans."
"Tree."
"K-Swiss."
Dr. Phil scratched his head while Ron looked on, pleased.
"Um…let's try 'question and answers.' Is that okay?"
"Sure."
"Great. What do you think when you see a female body like Kim's?"
"Fila."
Oops.
"When you and Kim are sitting at the same table, what do you usually do first?"
"Foot action."
Doh!
"Let's say Kim has children when she's older. Where do you see yourself in that picture?"
"Dada."
Crap!
"You and Kim have a sleepover at your house. What do you think of when she wants to sleep on YOUR bed?"
"Dickies."
…
"And what do you do to entertain her before you two go to sleep?"
"Just do it."
AH!!!
To Ron's surprise, a smile curled on Dr. Phil's unusually stony face. In fact, he looked as if he was going to crack up laughing.
"Um…okay Mr. Dr. Phil, I think that's enough for today."
"But-"
Ron dragged him to the front door as quickly as he could.
"I haven't even told you what's wrong, yet-"
"I know, who cares, bye!"
Ron slammed the door and turned all the locks that he could find on the door. For good measure, he shut the window blinds, too.
"Okay!! This is crazy!! I don't like Kim, right Rufus???"
"Uh…"
"Right! C'mon, we're going to Usher's!"
Ron pulled Rufus off of his comfy mini armchair and threw him in his pocket.
"Huh? Why?"
"Because, we're gonna get an expert's opinion on this. He just went on a date with her last night. He'll probably know if I like Kim or not…"
********************************************
Elsewhere…
"Okay Monique, bye!"
"Kim wai-"
Just like that, Kim hung up the phone on her best girl friend.
'She's crazy! Ron does NOT have a thing for me! If he did, I'm sure he'd tell me, straight out…'
Almost angry by Monique's helpful warnings, Kim stomped off to Ron's house to ask him the 'big' question.
'Do you like me?'
That sounded so corny…but she had to assure herself that it wasn't true. The thought of her and Ron……was kinda nice…
"What's up Ron?"
Ron sighed and lay flat on his bed. He had already tucked Rufus in, and he was just getting ready to go to bed, himself, but Ron just had to talk to someone about his problem first.
"Nothing…" he lied, accomplishing the exact opposite of what he was going for.
"Uh…then why'd you call me?"
"Just having a little trouble sleeping, I guess."
"Oh. Well how was Kim's date? Was Eugene what she expected him to be?"
"No. He was better. They had a great time and I think Kim probably wants to go out with him again."
"See. I told her not all us 'nerds' were your typical stereotypes."
"*sigh*"
Wade looked at his freckled friend with concern. "…Well then why don't you seem too happy about it? I thought you wanted Kim to have a good time."
"Yeah…I did…but…"
"…But she had a little TOO much fun, huh?"
"Yeah, sorta. How'd you know?"
"Girl problems. Been researching them for the last few weeks. My mom wants me to 'go out and meet new people.'"
"Well…what do you think's wrong with me?"
"Uhh…well, Ron, you probably won't take this too well, but I think you might have a crush on Kim."
"*pft* Right. Everyone's saying that! It's not true!"
"Denial's always the first stage…"
"But…me and Kim've been tight for so long. We always just thought of our relationship as plat…plate…platoon-"
"Platonic?"
"Yeah."
"I don't mean to sound 'into' Kim but after she lost the braces, let her hair down, and started wearing lip gloss and body fragrances, I could see how even YOUR feelings toward her could change. She's growing, Ron. And so are you."
"Jeez, I didn't want a lesson from health class, I just wanted to know why everyone THINKS I'm digging Kim but I'm NOT."
Wade sighed. "Ron…tell ya what. How 'bout I hook you up with one of the top psychologists in the world and THEY'LL tell you what's been eating you up."
"Really?? You'd do that??"
"Well…yeah, I just have to cash in one of Kim's favors. Don't worry. I know this is personal so I won't tell her about it."
"Thanks Wade. You rock."
"Don't I know it."
"…Wait. Before you go, when will I meet this 'shrink'??"
"You'll meet this 'shrink' tomorrow in the afternoon."
"Are you sure? I wake up real early on Sundays."
"He's gonna need some time to be notified, Ron."
"Fine…"
"I'll tell you where to go when you wake up."
"How do I KNOW that he's not gonna just hypnotize me into thinking that I DO like Kim??…"
"…Ron."
"Yeah?"
"Shut up."
With that, the screen flashed a bright white light before it went blank. He was used to remarks like that so Ron shrugged it off. Tomorrow, he was gonna get to the bottom of this. He was gonna prove to EVERYONE that his feelings for Kim were nothing more than 'best friendly'. Besides, what would a girl like that want with a guy like Ron, anyway?
**********************************************
*knock*knock*
Ron opened the door.
"Huh looww??" Ron greeted, rubbing the dirt from his eyes.
"Hello Mr. Stoppable. I'm Dr. Phil. No relation to the famous TV doctor you might've heard of. You can just call me 'Phil', though." Dr. Phil held out his hand to Ron. "Nice to meet you."
Instead of accepting the handshake, Ron took a long, exhausted yawn. "The shrink? I thought Wade told me to meet you in the afternoon. Why'd you come so early?"
"……Mr. Stoppable, it's 3 P.M."
"Oh." So much for waking up early. "Well…what're you doing at my house?"
Dr. Phil walked into the Stoppable house and took seat on the nearby couch. "I've conducted a study that indicates that patients feel more comfortable to open up if they are surrounded with a familiar environment. Thus, here I am. At your 'crib', as young people like to say."
"Oh. Cool. So…when do we get started? Do I just take a seat on the couch while you ask me a whole bunch of bologna questions?"
"…No, Mr. Stoppable." Dr. Phil ignored Ron's comments but felt a little pang of annoyance from the inside. "I want you to go get dressed first. The first step in making contact with your inner self is to get comfortable, as I've already stated."
"Sure, whatever. Can I bring Rufus, too?"
"Rufus?"
"Rufus. He's my naked mole rat. I take him wherever I go."
"Sure. Whatever it takes for you to get comfortable."
"Really…"
***********************************************
(1 hour later)
"Here's your pina colada, sir. Anything ELSE??"
Ron took his icy cold beverage and set it down next to his reclining/massage chair so the automated fan located to the right of him wouldn't knock it down, and it wouldn't fall on his steak and lobster lunch.
"No, that'll be all Phil. *slurp*"
"Good. Can we get started Mr. Stoppab-"
"Eh eh eh…remember. I feel more 'comfortable' being called either Ron or R-Dawg…and yes. I'm ready."
Dr. Phil rolled his eyes and continued.
"Okay. I'm going to put out a few words. All you have to do is say the first thing that comes to your mind. They call it 'word association.' Are you ready R-Daw…Ron?"
"Yeah, go ahead. Shoot."
"Mission."
"Kim."
Dr. Phil nodded approvingly.
"School."
"Kim."
He nodded again.
"Home."
"Kim."
Okay…
"Movies."
"Kim."
Uh…
"Computer."
"Kim."
This was starting to get a little out of hand.
"Chair."
"Kim."
"Notebook."
"Kim."
"Television."
"Ki-…Possible."
"Pencil."
"Kim."
"Calculator?"
"Kim."
"Flashlight???"
"Kim."
"Mr. Stoppable, are you TOYING with me???"
Ron looked at him, oblivious to the fact that all his answers had a common theme (this IS Ron, so don't be too surprised). "No. What do you mean?"
"So you're NOT just playing around."
"Course not. I'm 100% serious."
"And you're WONDERING if you like this 'Kim Possible' girl or not???"
Ron blushed. He realized how obvious he was making things…well, if he couldn't give him real answers without sounding head over heels for Kim, he would just give him fake answers…
'Okay. From now on. All my answers will have to do with……shoes. Okay…I can do this…'
Rufus looked on happily, munching on the remains of Ron's five-star lunch.
"Do you want to continue with word association?"
"…Yeah. Go."
"Heart."
"Vans."
"Tree."
"K-Swiss."
Dr. Phil scratched his head while Ron looked on, pleased.
"Um…let's try 'question and answers.' Is that okay?"
"Sure."
"Great. What do you think when you see a female body like Kim's?"
"Fila."
Oops.
"When you and Kim are sitting at the same table, what do you usually do first?"
"Foot action."
Doh!
"Let's say Kim has children when she's older. Where do you see yourself in that picture?"
"Dada."
Crap!
"You and Kim have a sleepover at your house. What do you think of when she wants to sleep on YOUR bed?"
"Dickies."
…
"And what do you do to entertain her before you two go to sleep?"
"Just do it."
AH!!!
To Ron's surprise, a smile curled on Dr. Phil's unusually stony face. In fact, he looked as if he was going to crack up laughing.
"Um…okay Mr. Dr. Phil, I think that's enough for today."
"But-"
Ron dragged him to the front door as quickly as he could.
"I haven't even told you what's wrong, yet-"
"I know, who cares, bye!"
Ron slammed the door and turned all the locks that he could find on the door. For good measure, he shut the window blinds, too.
"Okay!! This is crazy!! I don't like Kim, right Rufus???"
"Uh…"
"Right! C'mon, we're going to Usher's!"
Ron pulled Rufus off of his comfy mini armchair and threw him in his pocket.
"Huh? Why?"
"Because, we're gonna get an expert's opinion on this. He just went on a date with her last night. He'll probably know if I like Kim or not…"
********************************************
Elsewhere…
"Okay Monique, bye!"
"Kim wai-"
Just like that, Kim hung up the phone on her best girl friend.
'She's crazy! Ron does NOT have a thing for me! If he did, I'm sure he'd tell me, straight out…'
Almost angry by Monique's helpful warnings, Kim stomped off to Ron's house to ask him the 'big' question.
'Do you like me?'
That sounded so corny…but she had to assure herself that it wasn't true. The thought of her and Ron……was kinda nice…