Disclaimer: I do not own the Transformers, Hasbro does. Lucky them.
*grumbles*
Cracked
Somewhere within the Ark, the Autobot scout paced restlessly forth and back in his quarters. Normally he was a cheerful, easygoing 'happy-go-lucky' mech but if anyone saw him now they wouldn´t recognize him. His usual gentle expression had been wiped out by a vicious, twisted scowl as he stopped pacing and threw a punch at the wall, letting out a low growl of frustration. He managed to stop himself right before the metal of his hand could connect with that of the wall, knowing full well that the sound of his sudden outburst might attract unwanted attention from his comrades. Hound really didn´t feel like explaining this uncharacteristic behaviour right now. Primus! The strain of countless battles and losses of friends was wearing him out; it got harder and harder to hide all the anger, sorrow and growing resignation behind a happy facade. The green mech realized, of course, that everyone has a breaking-point, a moment when the protective walls crack and start to crumble. It was in the long run futile to fight it.
Actually, the war against the Decepticon forces was something he could talk about with some of his fellow Autobots, seeing as they were all affected by the horrors of it. But there was also something else, something that he couldn´t tell the others no matter how much he would have needed to. If anyone knew the secret desires tempting his spark, his most inner soul...they would no doubt regard him as mad because those were treacherous thoughts.
Hound wanted to be human.
He wanted to experience everything the way humans did. Yes, his body- chassis contained lots of sharp sensors, registrating heat, light, sound and even touch but Hound knew there had to be more to it than just noting that the sky is blue and the sun shines. The scout let out a heavy sigh. No. The others wouldn´t get it. Most 'Bots missed Cybertron and would never feel truly at home on Earth. Especially Mirage and the ever complaining Gears suffered of homesickness. they couldn´t possibly understand Hound´s fascination for this planet, so primitive and full of life compared to the cold, grey steel and circuitry of their home-world.
Some things amused them or held their interest, sure; Jazz and Blaster were self proclaimed earth culture-junkies while others had gotten themselves hooked soap operas or sports like NFL and NASCAR. But most of these 'hobbies' could be brought back to Cybertron in one way or the other. The natural wonders of Earth could not except as holographic pictures. And when, or rather if, the 'Cons ever were defeated, the Autobot troops would return to Cybertron. Hound both longed for and dreaded that day. Longed for it 'cause then the war would finally be over, dreaded it 'cause then...then he would have to leave. These thoughts were getting all too much to take. He had to get out and find a place where he could just forget it all. He finally got a hold of himself and almost rushed out of the room.
SLAM! Hound staggered backwards by the force of collision. A glint of yellow flashed in front of his opticsensors and his audioreceptors filled with Cybertronian explicits that Sunstreaker was yelling at the scout as loud as his vocalbox allowed.
"You slagging piece of scrap! Watch where you´re going!" the yellow Lamborghini'bot seethed, struggling to get out of Sideswipe´s hold and punch Hound out, but his red-painted twin brother wouldn´t budge one bit. "I´m sorry..." Hound started but the warrior didn´t care to listen. "Look at the dents in my chassis and the chipped paintjob. It looks horrible! And on top of that it was recently fixed!" The yellow mech was known for his vanity and the temper-tantrums over the tiniest scratch. He spent a lot of time polishing his appearance. As he couldn´t cause any physical damage to the green mech at the moment, he went for insults instead. "I guess your CPU can´t grasp the concept of a flawless exterior, the way you thrash through mudholes and over rocks and rubble. Lousy Earthlover!" Hound´s posture stiffened and for a split second, a dangerous glint flared up in his optics before it disappeared just as quickly. If Sunstreaker noticed, he didn´t show and Sideswipe were too busy holding his violent brother in check to see it. By the time he let go, Hound had already left.
An angry roar of a jeep engine rolled off the mountainside as Hound forced his way up a steep incline with a sort of 'clenched-teeth'-determination, desperatly hoping that the physical strain would exorcise his frustration. The golden light of sunset greeted him as he reached the top and slowly soothed his angstridden mind as the scout had transformed and leaned back against a large boulder. Hound was actually a bit rattled at how this rage had come seemingly out of nowhere, threatening to blow in the face of anyone nearby. A chill ran through his body so he pulled up his knees to his blocky chest. The mere thought of releasing all his frustration over the ugliness of the war, the destruction of his home-world, all those who had died and his desire to really belong here on Earth, onto someone not Decepticon scared him out of his mind.
By Primus! It would have been so easy to just let go and take it all out on Sunstreaker, who honestly wasn´t that well liked due to his arrogant, egotistical ways, but what good would that do? Hound would have gotten himself a good pounding, that´s what! If anyone messed with 'Sunny', his brother would no doubt back the yellow mech up. Also, each one of the 'Lambo-twins' was capable of kicking his skidplate good, hands down. Diciplinary punishment wasn´t that desireable either, nor the strange looks or comments from the others.
"What is happening to me? I don´t act like this!?" he said with a weak, wavering voice, close to a whisper. Deep down he knew what it was, grating on his sanity. It was the whole madness of the war. Would it ever stop?, he wondered. It had been raging for several millions of years; first on Cybertron, tearing the once beautiful planet apart until there was nothing left but ruins. And now it had been brought to Earth. If the 'Cons weren´t stopped soon, Earth would suffer the same fate and Hound hated the very thought of such an outcome. Already the planet showed scars from their battles and many were the humans who had died as a result of a war they had nothing to do with. "No. I can´t keep thinking of this." he said under breath, pushing the dark thoughts as far back in his memorybanks as possible, before once again trying to relax.
Eventually he had just zoned out while gazing at the crimson sky; so much so, that nightfall had come before he snapped out of it. A second later, Jazz´melodic voice came over the comlink.
"Hey, Hound. Where are you man? You should have been back at the base by now."
"Just admiring the scenery, guess I lost track of time. I´ll be on my way, though."
Jazz laughed at his response. "Alright. I was just worried that you had smashed yourself up real bad or maybe stumbled on some 'Cons." Hound´s previous gloom raised it´s ugly head ever so slightly but he kept it in check. He didn´t want to think about all his troubles again. Transforming into vehicle-mode, he turned to drive back to the Ark.
"I´m heading back to base. Over and out."
Hound knew that he couldn´t share his secrets at the moment but if he lived to see the end of this war...then, maybe then, would he tell.
Cracked
Somewhere within the Ark, the Autobot scout paced restlessly forth and back in his quarters. Normally he was a cheerful, easygoing 'happy-go-lucky' mech but if anyone saw him now they wouldn´t recognize him. His usual gentle expression had been wiped out by a vicious, twisted scowl as he stopped pacing and threw a punch at the wall, letting out a low growl of frustration. He managed to stop himself right before the metal of his hand could connect with that of the wall, knowing full well that the sound of his sudden outburst might attract unwanted attention from his comrades. Hound really didn´t feel like explaining this uncharacteristic behaviour right now. Primus! The strain of countless battles and losses of friends was wearing him out; it got harder and harder to hide all the anger, sorrow and growing resignation behind a happy facade. The green mech realized, of course, that everyone has a breaking-point, a moment when the protective walls crack and start to crumble. It was in the long run futile to fight it.
Actually, the war against the Decepticon forces was something he could talk about with some of his fellow Autobots, seeing as they were all affected by the horrors of it. But there was also something else, something that he couldn´t tell the others no matter how much he would have needed to. If anyone knew the secret desires tempting his spark, his most inner soul...they would no doubt regard him as mad because those were treacherous thoughts.
Hound wanted to be human.
He wanted to experience everything the way humans did. Yes, his body- chassis contained lots of sharp sensors, registrating heat, light, sound and even touch but Hound knew there had to be more to it than just noting that the sky is blue and the sun shines. The scout let out a heavy sigh. No. The others wouldn´t get it. Most 'Bots missed Cybertron and would never feel truly at home on Earth. Especially Mirage and the ever complaining Gears suffered of homesickness. they couldn´t possibly understand Hound´s fascination for this planet, so primitive and full of life compared to the cold, grey steel and circuitry of their home-world.
Some things amused them or held their interest, sure; Jazz and Blaster were self proclaimed earth culture-junkies while others had gotten themselves hooked soap operas or sports like NFL and NASCAR. But most of these 'hobbies' could be brought back to Cybertron in one way or the other. The natural wonders of Earth could not except as holographic pictures. And when, or rather if, the 'Cons ever were defeated, the Autobot troops would return to Cybertron. Hound both longed for and dreaded that day. Longed for it 'cause then the war would finally be over, dreaded it 'cause then...then he would have to leave. These thoughts were getting all too much to take. He had to get out and find a place where he could just forget it all. He finally got a hold of himself and almost rushed out of the room.
SLAM! Hound staggered backwards by the force of collision. A glint of yellow flashed in front of his opticsensors and his audioreceptors filled with Cybertronian explicits that Sunstreaker was yelling at the scout as loud as his vocalbox allowed.
"You slagging piece of scrap! Watch where you´re going!" the yellow Lamborghini'bot seethed, struggling to get out of Sideswipe´s hold and punch Hound out, but his red-painted twin brother wouldn´t budge one bit. "I´m sorry..." Hound started but the warrior didn´t care to listen. "Look at the dents in my chassis and the chipped paintjob. It looks horrible! And on top of that it was recently fixed!" The yellow mech was known for his vanity and the temper-tantrums over the tiniest scratch. He spent a lot of time polishing his appearance. As he couldn´t cause any physical damage to the green mech at the moment, he went for insults instead. "I guess your CPU can´t grasp the concept of a flawless exterior, the way you thrash through mudholes and over rocks and rubble. Lousy Earthlover!" Hound´s posture stiffened and for a split second, a dangerous glint flared up in his optics before it disappeared just as quickly. If Sunstreaker noticed, he didn´t show and Sideswipe were too busy holding his violent brother in check to see it. By the time he let go, Hound had already left.
An angry roar of a jeep engine rolled off the mountainside as Hound forced his way up a steep incline with a sort of 'clenched-teeth'-determination, desperatly hoping that the physical strain would exorcise his frustration. The golden light of sunset greeted him as he reached the top and slowly soothed his angstridden mind as the scout had transformed and leaned back against a large boulder. Hound was actually a bit rattled at how this rage had come seemingly out of nowhere, threatening to blow in the face of anyone nearby. A chill ran through his body so he pulled up his knees to his blocky chest. The mere thought of releasing all his frustration over the ugliness of the war, the destruction of his home-world, all those who had died and his desire to really belong here on Earth, onto someone not Decepticon scared him out of his mind.
By Primus! It would have been so easy to just let go and take it all out on Sunstreaker, who honestly wasn´t that well liked due to his arrogant, egotistical ways, but what good would that do? Hound would have gotten himself a good pounding, that´s what! If anyone messed with 'Sunny', his brother would no doubt back the yellow mech up. Also, each one of the 'Lambo-twins' was capable of kicking his skidplate good, hands down. Diciplinary punishment wasn´t that desireable either, nor the strange looks or comments from the others.
"What is happening to me? I don´t act like this!?" he said with a weak, wavering voice, close to a whisper. Deep down he knew what it was, grating on his sanity. It was the whole madness of the war. Would it ever stop?, he wondered. It had been raging for several millions of years; first on Cybertron, tearing the once beautiful planet apart until there was nothing left but ruins. And now it had been brought to Earth. If the 'Cons weren´t stopped soon, Earth would suffer the same fate and Hound hated the very thought of such an outcome. Already the planet showed scars from their battles and many were the humans who had died as a result of a war they had nothing to do with. "No. I can´t keep thinking of this." he said under breath, pushing the dark thoughts as far back in his memorybanks as possible, before once again trying to relax.
Eventually he had just zoned out while gazing at the crimson sky; so much so, that nightfall had come before he snapped out of it. A second later, Jazz´melodic voice came over the comlink.
"Hey, Hound. Where are you man? You should have been back at the base by now."
"Just admiring the scenery, guess I lost track of time. I´ll be on my way, though."
Jazz laughed at his response. "Alright. I was just worried that you had smashed yourself up real bad or maybe stumbled on some 'Cons." Hound´s previous gloom raised it´s ugly head ever so slightly but he kept it in check. He didn´t want to think about all his troubles again. Transforming into vehicle-mode, he turned to drive back to the Ark.
"I´m heading back to base. Over and out."
Hound knew that he couldn´t share his secrets at the moment but if he lived to see the end of this war...then, maybe then, would he tell.