A/N: I just wanted to thank everyone for being so patient during the wait for another chapter. Sadly, my job has taken over my life, and will for the next month or so, but hopefully, I can still squeeze out a few chapters during that time. I'm not sure that this one was worth the long wait, but I'm just glad it's done (finally!). As always, thanks for reading this. I didn't realize how much fun I was having writing it until I had to put it aside to write legal memoranda. :-)
Chapter 10: "Conflict"
"Syd, are you sure you don't want me to do this?" Dixon couldn't help but ask even though he already knew what her answer would be.
"Dixon," Sydney said, rolling her eyes and shooting him a dimpled grin, "I'm sure. How many more times are you going to ask me that?" Dixon seemed especially eager to get in on the action for this mission, but she couldn't let him jeopardize her countermission. "It'll be so much easier for me to get the log, since I've already been in the lab. I know my way around," she reassured him.
"I know, I know," Dixon nodded. "But I didn't think it would hurt to ask you one more time," he said with a smile. Sydney smiled back at him but her heart was heavy. Dixon was such a good guy that she hated not being able to tell him the truth about whom he was really working for.
"I'll be in and out in no time," she promised as she zipped her black, hooded jacket. She pressed a hand along her right side and made sure that the CIA's faked copy of Phong's research log was secure in the inside pocket.
"Be careful," Dixon said as she opened the door of their van and hopped out into a darkened alley. She quietly jogged the few hundred yards to the back of the nondescript building that housed the research labs of Li Phong, a world-renowned scientist. When she reached the back door, she punched in the 10 digit access code that she remembered from her mission a few weeks earlier. The steel door buzzed and opened, and she stealthily moved down the hall. As she and Dixon had predicted, the lab was darkened and seemingly empty, most of the staff having long since gone home for the evening.
"Dixon, I'm in. I don't want our radio frequency to set off any of the security equipment, so I'm going radio silent, okay? I'll come back on if I need you."
"Copy that, Syd," she heard in her left ear. She turned off her SD-6 comm link and switched on her CIA link. "Vaughn?"
"I'm here, Syd. Are you inside the building?"
"Yeah. I'm headed to the lab where the antidote is. So what's going on back in L.A.?" she asked conversationally.
Vaughn couldn't help but laugh that Sydney was making small talk in the middle of a mission. "Nothing much," he replied as he saw Jack walking into the rotunda. "Hold on a minute; your dad's on his way over."
"Bummer. I was just going to ask what you were wearing," she teased.
"Syd," he groaned, shooting an embarrassed smile at the technician monitoring their radio communication as Jack approached him.
"Agent Vaughn," Jack said with a polite nod. "Are you monitoring Sydney's mission right now?"
"Yes. She's fine so far, she's making her way to the lab. Do you want to speak with her?"
"No, I can't. I just wanted to make sure that she was okay. I'm due for a meeting with Kendall. Tell Sydney I'll see her when she returns home."
"I will." Vaughn watched as Jack walked away, thinking about the fact that Sydney had two men in her life who were eager for her safe return from Kuala Lumpur. He wondered how Jack would react if he knew just how desperately Vaughn was looking forward to Sydney's return. He knew that Jack suspected that he had feelings for Sydney, but the two of them had managed to hide the true nature of their relationship from him for months. However, Vaughn knew that eventually, Jack would find out, and he wasn't sure what would make him angrier -- the fact that he and Sydney were breaking every rule of CIA protocol, that they were risking both their lives to be together, or that they had been able to keep their relationship a secret for so long.
He broke his train of thought and snapped back to attention when he saw Weiss briskly walking towards him with a sheet of paper in his hand and a worried expression on his face.
"Vaughn," he said breathlessly, "we have a situation." He handed the sheet of paper to his best friend and watched carefully as he read it, knowing full well that Vaughn was about to launch into crisis mode. Sure enough, a pained expression flickered across Vaughn's face before he regained his composure and looked up at Weiss.
"Why didn't we know about this before?" he tersely asked.
"I don't know, but you need to tell her to get out of there."
Vaughn nodded and turned his headset back on. "Syd, listen. Forget about getting the vaccine. Just go back and meet Dixon."
"Why?" Sydney asked with confusion. "I'm already in the lab, all I have to do is find the right vials."
"Syd, we just received intel that the security system in that part of the lab has been upgraded, but we're not sure how. Since we have no way of knowing what might happen, you just need to get out of there. Forget the countermission."
"Vaughn, I didn't have any problem getting into this part of the lab, so your intel has to be wrong. If the security system had been altered, I never would have been able to get in here."
"Sydney, you don't know that. Just because you got in the lab doesn't mean you're going to be able to get out safely, and I don't think we should take any chances."
Sydney rolled her eyes as she stood in front of a large, clear refrigerated case. Her eyes scanned the shelves in front of her, looking for the samples of the ricin vaccine. "Vaughn, it's gonna take me all of two minutes to find the vaccine and get out of here. There's no point in aborting the countermission when I'm *right here*."
Thousands of miles away, Vaughn sighed with exasperation. "Syd -- okay, you know what? We're not going to argue about this anymore. Leave the lab now -- that's an order." He didn't like it that the CIA had nothing more to go on than vague information about the new security measures at the lab. That, combined with the uneasy feeling he had initially had about sending her on the mission, made him unwilling to take any chances.
"An order?" Sydney asked incredulously. "Vaughn, I know we've had this conversation before, but seriously? This is possibly the most ridiculous order you've ever given me. I'll leave as soon as I get what I came for, but not until then."
Vaughn rubbed his forehead and tried to ignore the uncomfortable stares from Weiss and the technician. He did not want to be having this argument with Sydney at all, but especially not in front of an audience. Usually he admired her tenacity and stubbornness, but not now when he feared what might happen to her if she didn't leave the lab immediately.
"*Agent Bristow,*" he said between clenched teeth, "I'm not going to tell you again. . . "
"Found it," she said triumphantly as she opened the case and removed two vials containing a bluish liquid. She unzipped one of her vest pockets and removed a silver cylinder, then dropped the vials inside and pressed a button to activate the refrigeration device inside it. "I'm leaving the lab now," she said as she crossed the vast space and made her way to the door. "Honestly, Vaughn, you were worried for nothing."
Vaughn merely crossed his arms and shook his head, looking at Weiss who was grinning back at him.
"You and Sydney have got to stop having these lovers' quarrels, man."
Vaughn laughed in spite of himself and had just begun to relax when he heard Sydney's voice in his ear again.
"Vaughn?" she said, her voice thin and shaky, "I think I have a problem. I can't get out of here."
"What do you mean you can't get out?" he asked as a slight note of panic crept into his voice.
"The door is locked," Sydney replied as she repeatedly entered a code on the keypad next to it. Her eyes quickly scanned the room for an alternative exit, but she couldn't find one, as there were no other doors or windows in the room. "I keep entering the code to open the door and it won't open." She entered the code once again, with concentrated determination until she began to hear a hissing sound coming from the corners of the lab. She looked to her left and saw a yellowish, gas-like substance rising from ducts in the floor. "Vaughn?" she said in a voice barely above a whisper.
"Syd, what's wrong?"
"There's some kind of yellowish gas filling the room. I think the room's gone into lockdown." Her voice was quiet and small and Vaughn's stomach tied in knots when he heard the fear in her voice.
"Okay, Sydney, listen to me. Don't panic. You need to look around the room and try to find a mask or something. Can you do that?"
Sydney nodded and then realized that he couldn't see her. "Yeah, I can do that," she said in a voice that belied her increasing panic. She didn't want to worry Vaughn by sounding as scared as she was.
She quickly moved over to a row of metal cabinets along a wall, rapidly opening and closing them, searching for any kind of mask that she could find. A few moments later, she found a box of surgical masks, placed one over her nose and mouth, and continued to look for something more along the lines of a gas mask. She sighed with frustration when she was unable to find one, knowing that the surgical mask wouldn't really prevent her from breathing in the gas that was starting to fill the room, making the air in front of her a putrid shade of yellow. As if things couldn't get worse, her eyes were starting to sting and she began lightly coughing.
"Syd, talk to me. Are you okay?" Her eyes started to fill with tears and she wasn't sure if they were in response to the stinging sensation or the deeply concerned tone in Vaughn's voice.
"Vaughn, I'm getting lightheaded and my eyes are burning," she said as she found a pair of goggles, placed them over her eyes and made her way back to the door. She frantically entered numbers in ever combination she could think of, desperately trying to open the steel door and escape the room.
"Sydney, you're going to be okay," Vaughn said, hoping that his voice sounded more controlled than he felt. He looked down and realized that was gripping the edges of the desk in front of him so hard that his knuckles were turning white. "Look, you're going to need to get Dixon to come help you."
"Vaughn, I can't call Dixon," she said, shocked that he would even suggest it. "If I do, he's going to wonder what I was doing in this part of the lab."
"Sydney, I know, but you don't have a choice. He's the *only* person who might be able to help you right now."
"But if Sloane finds out . . ."
"We can't worry about that now. All that matters is getting you out of that lab, so I want you to call Dixon and then remove your CIA comm piece before he gets there, okay?"
"Vaughn, if I do that, I won't be able to talk to you," Sydney rasped. It was getting considerably more difficult to breathe, and she was having trouble standing as well.
"I know, but you have to" Vaughn said quietly. The last thing he wanted to do was cut off communication with her, with no way of knowing what was happening to her. But if Dixon was able to rescue her by some miracle, the last thing they could afford was for him to find a second comm piece on her.
"Vaughn, oh god, I'm sorry," Sydney softly cried as she let herself slide down the wall next to the door and sink in a heap on the floor. "I should have listened when you said to leave the lab. I'm so sorry."
"Shhh, Syd, don't worry about that now," Vaughn whispered around the lump steadily growing in his throat. "Don't worry about me, just call for Dixon."
"Okay," she nodded.
A few seconds later, Vaughn listened as Sydney told Dixon where she was and explained her predicament. To his relief, Dixon didn't ask any questions and promised that he was on his way. But his relief only lasted a few seconds before he heard Sydney coughing again, gasping for air. The sound of her labored breathing made him feel as if his heart was being ripped out of his chest, in slow, agonizing fashion.
"Syd, you have to -- " his voice broke as he struggled to get the words out, "you have to get rid of your comm link now."
"I know," she whispered. "Vaughn, just in case I don't . . . I just need you to know that I . . ." her voice broke as she realized that she couldn't tell him what she wanted to say. She wasn't sure who was listening to them, so she knew she couldn't tell him that she loved him. Moreover, if she told him, it would feel too much like a good-bye she wasn't prepared to make.
When Vaughn looked at Weiss and the technician in front of him, he realized why Sydney had cut herself off. "I know, Syd. I know. You can tell me in person when you get back. You *are* coming back, Sydney," he said, betraying his own fear that she wouldn't.
"Bye Vaughn," he heard her choke out just before her comm link went dead. When he heard nothing but static over his headset, he removed it and tossed it onto the desk in front of him. He had never felt so helpless in his life, realizing that not only couldn't he do anything to help her, but now he had no way of even knowing what was happening or whether Dixon could rescue her. He sank down into the chair behind him and dropped his head into his hands. After a moment, he felt a strong grip on his right shoulder, and he looked up to see Weiss looking down at him sympathetically.
"Mike, you know she's gonna be okay. She's as tough as they come."
Vaughn forced himself to give Weiss an appreciative smile. "Thanks for saying that," he whispered. "Look, I need to go find Jack. Can you stay here, just in case . . ."
"Yeah," Weiss nodded. "I'll let you know if anything happens."
Vaughn patted Weiss on the arm and set off to find the conference room where Jack and Kendall were meeting. When he found them, he knocked twice on the door and opened it.
"Agent Vaughn, we're in the middle of something here," Kendall said, the surprise and irritation evident on his face.
With one look at Vaughn's pale face, Jack knew that something was terribly wrong.
"I'm sorry to interrupt sir, but we have a situation and I thought Jack should know about it."
Jack quickly stood and walked over to Vaughn. "Did something happen to Sydney?"
Vaughn felt the lump form in his throat again when he saw the stricken look on Jack's face. He wasn't sure he had ever seen Jack look scared before, and seeing him that way now only reinforced his own sense of fear and dread.
"She retrieved the vaccine from Phong's lab, but in doing so, we think she triggered the security system. The room went into lockdown and started filling with some kind of gas, we're not sure what."
Jack's face went white. "Is she . . .?"
"I don't know," Vaughn sighed, "but she was having noticeable difficulty breathing. I told her to cut off her communication with us and notify Dixon so he could rescue her. I don't know what's going on right now, but I was hoping that you could go to SD-6 and monitor things from there. Maybe Dixon will check in," he shrugged, at a loss for ideas.
Jack nodded. "I'm on my way. I'll call you the minute I know anything."
"Thanks, Jack," Vaughn said quietly. Jack took a moment to look at Vaughn. He could see the strain and anxiety on his face and knew that he was terrified that Sydney might not make it. He unexpectedly found himself filled with compassion for the young agent who obviously cared a great deal about his daughter's well-being, not just the safe return of a CIA asset.
"Agent Vaughn, I'm sure Sydney will be fine," he said reassuringly. With that, he turned and exited the conference room, leaving Kendall and Vaughn staring after him.
*****
It took all the effort Sydney could muster to reach into her vest and remove the silver cylinder containing the vaccine. She tossed it from her hand and watched it roll underneath a desk across the room. She couldn't afford to have that on her when Dixon rescued her -- *if* he rescued her. She cried with frustration at how heavy her limbs felt and how much her muscles ached. Her lungs were burning but the stinging in her eyes had been alleviated by the tears now streaming down her face. She was crying not in frustration at her predicament or because of the physical pain; she was crying for Vaughn. She had been so stupid not to listen when he told her to leave the lab; she was so intent on doing her job when she should have just gotten the hell out of there. Now that she was trapped and unsure of whether Dixon would be able to find her in time, she was left with nothing to do but think about Vaughn. She knew he would be devastated if she didn't make it out of the lab, but worse than that, she knew that he would blame himself despite the fact that it was her fault that she was trapped. She couldn't bear the thought of him carrying around that kind of guilt for the rest of his life. She reached to turn on her CIA comm link and screamed in frustration when she remembered she had thrown it in the lab's incinerator. More than anything right now, she just wanted to hear his voice, wanted to be able to tell him that she loved him more than anything, so he would never forget it if --
She shook her head and forced herself to stop thinking like that. She had to have faith that she would soon be reunited with him. She had to find her way back to him because they had so much to look forward to together . . .
********************************************************************************
Sydney woke with a start and looked at the clock on the nightstand. 3:26 a.m. She rolled to her right and was surprised not to feel a warm body next to hers. She sleepily rubbed her eyes and looked over to see Vaughn standing at the window of his hotel room. He appeared lost in thought and didn't even notice she was awake until she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest. She pressed her cheek to his shoulder and squeezed him tightly. "What are you doing?"
"Just looking out the window. I couldn't sleep."
"You should try. You're gonna be exhausted tomorrow."
"No thanks to you, Ms. Bristow." She could hear the smile in his voice and she smiled against his shoulder, remembering what they'd been doing a couple of hours ago. She placed a soft kiss on his back.
"I'd apologize about that if I was actually sorry. But I'm not."
"Me either," he laughed. "It's gorgeous, isn't it?" he asked, nodding his head towards the window. She stood on her tiptoes and looked over his shoulder at the unobstructed view of the Eiffel Tower bathed in soft orange light.
"Yeah, it is."
"Being in Paris always makes me think about my parents. They met and fell in love while he was on assignment here."
"Most romantic city in the world," Sydney murmured.
"Yeah, it is. Hey, when this is over, you know the first thing I'm gonna do?"
"Take me to that island you promised?"
"You never forget about that do you?" he grinned. "*After* that, I'm going to take you home to my mother."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Why do you sound so surprised? I want her to meet you."
"I'd like that. It's just that meeting the parents is a big deal."
"Yes, it is. But remember when I told you how anxious my mother was to have grandchildren? Well, I want to introduce her to the woman who might give her those grandchildren."
"Vaughn," Sydney smiled with obvious surprise and delight as he turned around to face her. He held the sides of her face and looked deep into her eyes.
"There, I said it -- out loud," he laughed. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Sydney. I want us to have a family and grow old together," he said softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I know those are just dreams right now, but I thought you should know."
"You should know that I want those things too," she said, smiling up at him.
"Then one day, we'll have them," he said as he pulled her back to the bed.
They had *both* woken up exhausted the next morning.
**********************************************************************************
Sydney choked back a sob as she remembered that night. Had it really been just a couple of weeks ago? Two weeks ago, she and Vaughn were contemplating their future, and now she didn't know if she still had one. She felt her eyelids growing heavier and her breathing getting slower and right before she lost consciousness, she said a quick prayer, asking God to somehow get her out of this room and back with Vaughn so they could have the future they so desperately wanted.
*****
Vaughn anxiously paced the length of the warehouse, taking in deep breaths to calm himself down. The last four days had been torture for him, but not nearly as torturous as the past twenty minutes of waiting. He finally stopped pacing when he heard footsteps approaching. The gate slowly opened and he let out a huge sigh of relief when he saw Sydney smiling at him. Before he could even take a few steps forward, she launched herself into his arms, wrapping her own arms tightly around his shoulders. He closed his eyes and squeezed her tightly, wanting to hold her forever and revel in the fact that she was alive and unharmed.
"Sydney," he whispered into her hair. "Thank god you're alright. I was so scared."
"I know," she murmured into his shoulder. "I was too." She clung to him as if her life depended on it. When he opened his eyes to look at her, he was surprised to see tears streaming down her face. He pushed her back gently and brushed the tears away.
"Syd, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," she sniffled. "I'm just . . . when I was trapped in that lab, I didn't think I was ever going to see you again. I wasn't afraid of dying, I was only afraid that I would never get to hold you or touch you or see you again."
"Shhh . . . you're here now and that's all that matters," he said, pulling her back into his arms and swaying gently. "I love you so much, Sydney. You have no idea."
She raised her head and brushed the last tears from her face. "Look at me crying like a sap," she said with a small laugh. She looked up at him, overwhelmed by the love and relief she saw in his eyes. She pressed a palm against his cheek and ran her thumb across it before tilting his face down to hers and softly brushing her lips against his. She placed feather-soft kisses on his lips until he slipped his tongue in her mouth, increasing the intensity of their kiss. Soon they were kissing urgently, releasing all of the tension of her ordeal and creating new tension as their bodies responded to each other.
Vaughn felt desire surging through his entire body, but he knew that it wasn't the time for that, so he broke the kiss and held her at arms length, resting his forehead against hers while he caught his breath.
"What's wrong?" she asked softly, running her fingers through his hair.
"Syd," he breathed. "I can't even tell you how relieved and happy I am that you're back, but . . . " he swallowed hard, unsure how to broach the topic.
"But what?"
Vaughn pulled his head away from hers and looked her directly in the eye. "We need to have a serious talk."
The resolute and serious tone in his voice took her aback and she blinked in surprise. "A talk about what?"
"A talk about what happened in Kuala Lumpur."
"Vaughn, we don't have to dwell on what happened. I'm fine. The doctors at the hospital said I'm fine, and the SD-6 doctors also gave me a clean bill of health when I got back this morning."
"That's great, but I'm not talking about your health. I know you're okay. We need to talk about the fact that you didn't leave the lab when I told you to."
"I know," she said, casting her eyes downward. "I know I should have listened to you, but I was right there and I couldn't leave the lab without those samples. Which, ultimately, I ended up doing anyway," she shook her head ruefully. "I knew I couldn't take the risk of Dixon finding them in my vest."
Vaughn interrupted his own train of thought for a moment. "Yeah, your dad never told me what happened when Dixon rescued you."
"Oh. I called him on my comm link and told him where to find me and how to get into the lab from the outside. By the time he got there, I was already unconscious, so all I remember is waking up in the emergency room. When I woke up Dixon asked how I ended up in that part of the lab. I told him that Phong's research log wasn't where I expected it to be so I went looking in another part of the lab and got trapped."
"Did he believe you?"
"Yes. So did Sloane, thankfully. I gave him the fake log, by the way."
"Good," Vaughn nodded, though his tone was anything but pleased.
"Vaughn, what's with the tortured look?"
"You were unconscious," Vaughn said tersely, breaking away from their embrace. He turned from her and ran a hand through his hair before taking a deep breath and turning back to her. "Sydney, the next time I give you an order to abort a mission, you take it."
Sydney laughed lightly. "Vaughn, I think we've already established that I'm not very good at taking orders."
"Well you're gonna have to get better at it. Seriously, this will *not* happen again. I'm not going to argue with you the next time."
Sydney was stunned by the angry tone in his voice. "Why are you so upset? I already admitted that I made a mistake in not listening to you. I told you I was sorry."
"Sorry?" Vaughn choked out. "Sydney, I don't want an apology from you. I want a promise that the next time I tell you to do something, you're going to do it. As long as I'm in charge of your ops, you have to follow my commands."
"I'm going to have to *what*?" she asked disbelievingly. She hadn't seen this autocratic side of Vaughn since they first started working together, and she couldn't say that she had missed it. "Please tell me that you're not trying to pull rank on me."
"Maybe I am, maybe I need to. I think maybe you need reminding that I'm your case officer, which means that *I* give you instructions and *you* follow them."
Sydney placed her hands on her temples, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. "Okay, who are you and what did you do with the Michael Vaughn that I know?"
"I'm right here, Sydney."
"No," she slowly shook her head, "no, you're not. The Vaughn that I know wouldn't be standing here berating me about following orders. He would be holding me and telling me how glad he is that I'm still alive."
"You don't think that I -- Sydney, I *told* you how relieved I was to have you back and here with me. But that doesn't change the fact that I almost lost you for reasons that were entirely preventable." He rubbed his forehead and lowered his voice. "Do you know what it was like to hear you turn off that comm link? To hear nothing but static on the other end and know that there wasn't a damn thing I could do to save you? Sydney, I saw my life flash before my eyes. I thought you were gonna die," he said in a voice barely above a whisper.
The pain in his eyes tore at her heart, and she would have given anything to take it away. "But I *didn't*, Vaughn," she implored. "I'm here with you now."
"But you came this close to *not* being here, and all because you were too stubborn to leave the lab when I told you to. We can't afford to have these kind of communication breakdowns."
"Oh. So when you say 'jump,' I'm just supposed to ask you 'how high,' no questions asked?"
"When we're working together, yes, that's exactly what you're supposed to do."
Sydney's eyes flashed as she let out a short, disbelieving laugh. "I think you are on a massive power trip right now, Vaughn."
"You think I'm on a power trip? I'm trying to keep you alive, Sydney."
"For whose benefit? Yours or the CIA's?"
"Both!"
"No, I don't think so. I think you're trying to totally rewrite the rules of our relationship."
"And I think that right now, you're having a difficult time separating our personal relationship from our professional relationship. Sydney, this isn't about me trying to be the stereotypical male and keep my little woman in line. This has nothing to do with how we feel about each other. This is about me trying to keep my agent alive and trying to make sure that the CIA's objectives are met."
"That's what I was trying to do, Vaughn," Sydney argued. "The CIA's objective was to get a sample of that vaccine."
"That stopped being the objective the minute I told you to leave the lab. Sydney, you know better than anyone that mission objectives are fluid. They can change minute by minute, and when that happens, you need to accept it and go with whatever I tell you. I wouldn't change your mission midstream just to screw with you; in this case, I was trying to keep you from walking into a situation that we had no intel about."
"I know that," Sydney said quietly.
"Then why didn't you listen to me and get out of there?" Vaughn asked in a soft, anguished voice
"Because. I didn't believe that anything was going to happen to me. I thought that you were worrying unnecessarily simply because it was me in the lab."
"What do you mean by that?" Vaughn asked with a stunned look on his face.
"Can you honestly tell me that you would have been so adamant about aborting the mission if it had been any other agent in the lab?"
"Yes, I absolutely would have," he firmly responded. As he looked at hear, a look of understanding and recognition spread across his face. "My god. You thought I was freaking out just because I'm in love with you."
"The thought crossed my mind," she admitted, looking down at the floor.
"So if any other agent had told you to abort the mission, you would have done it?"
She sighed "I doubt that. You know how stubborn I am."
"Yeah, but you wouldn't have questioned why another agent was telling you to abort. You wouldn't have just assumed that it was because he couldn't put his feelings for you aside. You don't think that I can set my personal feelings aside when we're working together." It was a statement rather than a question.
"Vaughn, I didn't mean . . ." she backtracked. "I know that you always put your professional judgment first when we're working together."
"But now you find yourself questioning my professional judgment when you're in the field?"
"Vaughn, no! That's not what I'm doing -- "
"Maybe not, but maybe it's time for *me* to start questioning my professional judgment. I never should have even told you about the Malaysia countermission. I should have just told Devlin to find another agent. And in Vancouver, when you were stabbed by that guard? I shouldn't have let you stop to upload those photos. I let you talk me into that, when I should have told you to get the hell out of the gallery."
"I was not *stabbed*," she interjected, "it was just a cut and --"
"Sydney, we have a problem," Vaughn said, looking at her with a grave expression on his face. "We can't work together like this."
"Vaughn, I think you're overreacting. You know that ever since we admitted how we felt about each other, we've been doing incredible work together. Kendall's noticed, Devlin's noticed, my dad has noticed. Think about how many commendations we've gotten in the last few months. We've been doing *amazing* things together."
"I'm not discounting any of those things, Sydney. Sometimes I think we work so well together *because* of our feelings for each other. But obviously, there are times, like the other day, when our feelings for each other cloud our judgment. We can't afford for that to happen, for our personal relationship to hinder our professional relationship. Something has to give."
"So what are you saying?" she asked, almost afraid to hear his answer. "What? Are you saying that we have to sacrifice one or the other?"
"Maybe. Maybe we do."
TBC . . .
Chapter 10: "Conflict"
"Syd, are you sure you don't want me to do this?" Dixon couldn't help but ask even though he already knew what her answer would be.
"Dixon," Sydney said, rolling her eyes and shooting him a dimpled grin, "I'm sure. How many more times are you going to ask me that?" Dixon seemed especially eager to get in on the action for this mission, but she couldn't let him jeopardize her countermission. "It'll be so much easier for me to get the log, since I've already been in the lab. I know my way around," she reassured him.
"I know, I know," Dixon nodded. "But I didn't think it would hurt to ask you one more time," he said with a smile. Sydney smiled back at him but her heart was heavy. Dixon was such a good guy that she hated not being able to tell him the truth about whom he was really working for.
"I'll be in and out in no time," she promised as she zipped her black, hooded jacket. She pressed a hand along her right side and made sure that the CIA's faked copy of Phong's research log was secure in the inside pocket.
"Be careful," Dixon said as she opened the door of their van and hopped out into a darkened alley. She quietly jogged the few hundred yards to the back of the nondescript building that housed the research labs of Li Phong, a world-renowned scientist. When she reached the back door, she punched in the 10 digit access code that she remembered from her mission a few weeks earlier. The steel door buzzed and opened, and she stealthily moved down the hall. As she and Dixon had predicted, the lab was darkened and seemingly empty, most of the staff having long since gone home for the evening.
"Dixon, I'm in. I don't want our radio frequency to set off any of the security equipment, so I'm going radio silent, okay? I'll come back on if I need you."
"Copy that, Syd," she heard in her left ear. She turned off her SD-6 comm link and switched on her CIA link. "Vaughn?"
"I'm here, Syd. Are you inside the building?"
"Yeah. I'm headed to the lab where the antidote is. So what's going on back in L.A.?" she asked conversationally.
Vaughn couldn't help but laugh that Sydney was making small talk in the middle of a mission. "Nothing much," he replied as he saw Jack walking into the rotunda. "Hold on a minute; your dad's on his way over."
"Bummer. I was just going to ask what you were wearing," she teased.
"Syd," he groaned, shooting an embarrassed smile at the technician monitoring their radio communication as Jack approached him.
"Agent Vaughn," Jack said with a polite nod. "Are you monitoring Sydney's mission right now?"
"Yes. She's fine so far, she's making her way to the lab. Do you want to speak with her?"
"No, I can't. I just wanted to make sure that she was okay. I'm due for a meeting with Kendall. Tell Sydney I'll see her when she returns home."
"I will." Vaughn watched as Jack walked away, thinking about the fact that Sydney had two men in her life who were eager for her safe return from Kuala Lumpur. He wondered how Jack would react if he knew just how desperately Vaughn was looking forward to Sydney's return. He knew that Jack suspected that he had feelings for Sydney, but the two of them had managed to hide the true nature of their relationship from him for months. However, Vaughn knew that eventually, Jack would find out, and he wasn't sure what would make him angrier -- the fact that he and Sydney were breaking every rule of CIA protocol, that they were risking both their lives to be together, or that they had been able to keep their relationship a secret for so long.
He broke his train of thought and snapped back to attention when he saw Weiss briskly walking towards him with a sheet of paper in his hand and a worried expression on his face.
"Vaughn," he said breathlessly, "we have a situation." He handed the sheet of paper to his best friend and watched carefully as he read it, knowing full well that Vaughn was about to launch into crisis mode. Sure enough, a pained expression flickered across Vaughn's face before he regained his composure and looked up at Weiss.
"Why didn't we know about this before?" he tersely asked.
"I don't know, but you need to tell her to get out of there."
Vaughn nodded and turned his headset back on. "Syd, listen. Forget about getting the vaccine. Just go back and meet Dixon."
"Why?" Sydney asked with confusion. "I'm already in the lab, all I have to do is find the right vials."
"Syd, we just received intel that the security system in that part of the lab has been upgraded, but we're not sure how. Since we have no way of knowing what might happen, you just need to get out of there. Forget the countermission."
"Vaughn, I didn't have any problem getting into this part of the lab, so your intel has to be wrong. If the security system had been altered, I never would have been able to get in here."
"Sydney, you don't know that. Just because you got in the lab doesn't mean you're going to be able to get out safely, and I don't think we should take any chances."
Sydney rolled her eyes as she stood in front of a large, clear refrigerated case. Her eyes scanned the shelves in front of her, looking for the samples of the ricin vaccine. "Vaughn, it's gonna take me all of two minutes to find the vaccine and get out of here. There's no point in aborting the countermission when I'm *right here*."
Thousands of miles away, Vaughn sighed with exasperation. "Syd -- okay, you know what? We're not going to argue about this anymore. Leave the lab now -- that's an order." He didn't like it that the CIA had nothing more to go on than vague information about the new security measures at the lab. That, combined with the uneasy feeling he had initially had about sending her on the mission, made him unwilling to take any chances.
"An order?" Sydney asked incredulously. "Vaughn, I know we've had this conversation before, but seriously? This is possibly the most ridiculous order you've ever given me. I'll leave as soon as I get what I came for, but not until then."
Vaughn rubbed his forehead and tried to ignore the uncomfortable stares from Weiss and the technician. He did not want to be having this argument with Sydney at all, but especially not in front of an audience. Usually he admired her tenacity and stubbornness, but not now when he feared what might happen to her if she didn't leave the lab immediately.
"*Agent Bristow,*" he said between clenched teeth, "I'm not going to tell you again. . . "
"Found it," she said triumphantly as she opened the case and removed two vials containing a bluish liquid. She unzipped one of her vest pockets and removed a silver cylinder, then dropped the vials inside and pressed a button to activate the refrigeration device inside it. "I'm leaving the lab now," she said as she crossed the vast space and made her way to the door. "Honestly, Vaughn, you were worried for nothing."
Vaughn merely crossed his arms and shook his head, looking at Weiss who was grinning back at him.
"You and Sydney have got to stop having these lovers' quarrels, man."
Vaughn laughed in spite of himself and had just begun to relax when he heard Sydney's voice in his ear again.
"Vaughn?" she said, her voice thin and shaky, "I think I have a problem. I can't get out of here."
"What do you mean you can't get out?" he asked as a slight note of panic crept into his voice.
"The door is locked," Sydney replied as she repeatedly entered a code on the keypad next to it. Her eyes quickly scanned the room for an alternative exit, but she couldn't find one, as there were no other doors or windows in the room. "I keep entering the code to open the door and it won't open." She entered the code once again, with concentrated determination until she began to hear a hissing sound coming from the corners of the lab. She looked to her left and saw a yellowish, gas-like substance rising from ducts in the floor. "Vaughn?" she said in a voice barely above a whisper.
"Syd, what's wrong?"
"There's some kind of yellowish gas filling the room. I think the room's gone into lockdown." Her voice was quiet and small and Vaughn's stomach tied in knots when he heard the fear in her voice.
"Okay, Sydney, listen to me. Don't panic. You need to look around the room and try to find a mask or something. Can you do that?"
Sydney nodded and then realized that he couldn't see her. "Yeah, I can do that," she said in a voice that belied her increasing panic. She didn't want to worry Vaughn by sounding as scared as she was.
She quickly moved over to a row of metal cabinets along a wall, rapidly opening and closing them, searching for any kind of mask that she could find. A few moments later, she found a box of surgical masks, placed one over her nose and mouth, and continued to look for something more along the lines of a gas mask. She sighed with frustration when she was unable to find one, knowing that the surgical mask wouldn't really prevent her from breathing in the gas that was starting to fill the room, making the air in front of her a putrid shade of yellow. As if things couldn't get worse, her eyes were starting to sting and she began lightly coughing.
"Syd, talk to me. Are you okay?" Her eyes started to fill with tears and she wasn't sure if they were in response to the stinging sensation or the deeply concerned tone in Vaughn's voice.
"Vaughn, I'm getting lightheaded and my eyes are burning," she said as she found a pair of goggles, placed them over her eyes and made her way back to the door. She frantically entered numbers in ever combination she could think of, desperately trying to open the steel door and escape the room.
"Sydney, you're going to be okay," Vaughn said, hoping that his voice sounded more controlled than he felt. He looked down and realized that was gripping the edges of the desk in front of him so hard that his knuckles were turning white. "Look, you're going to need to get Dixon to come help you."
"Vaughn, I can't call Dixon," she said, shocked that he would even suggest it. "If I do, he's going to wonder what I was doing in this part of the lab."
"Sydney, I know, but you don't have a choice. He's the *only* person who might be able to help you right now."
"But if Sloane finds out . . ."
"We can't worry about that now. All that matters is getting you out of that lab, so I want you to call Dixon and then remove your CIA comm piece before he gets there, okay?"
"Vaughn, if I do that, I won't be able to talk to you," Sydney rasped. It was getting considerably more difficult to breathe, and she was having trouble standing as well.
"I know, but you have to" Vaughn said quietly. The last thing he wanted to do was cut off communication with her, with no way of knowing what was happening to her. But if Dixon was able to rescue her by some miracle, the last thing they could afford was for him to find a second comm piece on her.
"Vaughn, oh god, I'm sorry," Sydney softly cried as she let herself slide down the wall next to the door and sink in a heap on the floor. "I should have listened when you said to leave the lab. I'm so sorry."
"Shhh, Syd, don't worry about that now," Vaughn whispered around the lump steadily growing in his throat. "Don't worry about me, just call for Dixon."
"Okay," she nodded.
A few seconds later, Vaughn listened as Sydney told Dixon where she was and explained her predicament. To his relief, Dixon didn't ask any questions and promised that he was on his way. But his relief only lasted a few seconds before he heard Sydney coughing again, gasping for air. The sound of her labored breathing made him feel as if his heart was being ripped out of his chest, in slow, agonizing fashion.
"Syd, you have to -- " his voice broke as he struggled to get the words out, "you have to get rid of your comm link now."
"I know," she whispered. "Vaughn, just in case I don't . . . I just need you to know that I . . ." her voice broke as she realized that she couldn't tell him what she wanted to say. She wasn't sure who was listening to them, so she knew she couldn't tell him that she loved him. Moreover, if she told him, it would feel too much like a good-bye she wasn't prepared to make.
When Vaughn looked at Weiss and the technician in front of him, he realized why Sydney had cut herself off. "I know, Syd. I know. You can tell me in person when you get back. You *are* coming back, Sydney," he said, betraying his own fear that she wouldn't.
"Bye Vaughn," he heard her choke out just before her comm link went dead. When he heard nothing but static over his headset, he removed it and tossed it onto the desk in front of him. He had never felt so helpless in his life, realizing that not only couldn't he do anything to help her, but now he had no way of even knowing what was happening or whether Dixon could rescue her. He sank down into the chair behind him and dropped his head into his hands. After a moment, he felt a strong grip on his right shoulder, and he looked up to see Weiss looking down at him sympathetically.
"Mike, you know she's gonna be okay. She's as tough as they come."
Vaughn forced himself to give Weiss an appreciative smile. "Thanks for saying that," he whispered. "Look, I need to go find Jack. Can you stay here, just in case . . ."
"Yeah," Weiss nodded. "I'll let you know if anything happens."
Vaughn patted Weiss on the arm and set off to find the conference room where Jack and Kendall were meeting. When he found them, he knocked twice on the door and opened it.
"Agent Vaughn, we're in the middle of something here," Kendall said, the surprise and irritation evident on his face.
With one look at Vaughn's pale face, Jack knew that something was terribly wrong.
"I'm sorry to interrupt sir, but we have a situation and I thought Jack should know about it."
Jack quickly stood and walked over to Vaughn. "Did something happen to Sydney?"
Vaughn felt the lump form in his throat again when he saw the stricken look on Jack's face. He wasn't sure he had ever seen Jack look scared before, and seeing him that way now only reinforced his own sense of fear and dread.
"She retrieved the vaccine from Phong's lab, but in doing so, we think she triggered the security system. The room went into lockdown and started filling with some kind of gas, we're not sure what."
Jack's face went white. "Is she . . .?"
"I don't know," Vaughn sighed, "but she was having noticeable difficulty breathing. I told her to cut off her communication with us and notify Dixon so he could rescue her. I don't know what's going on right now, but I was hoping that you could go to SD-6 and monitor things from there. Maybe Dixon will check in," he shrugged, at a loss for ideas.
Jack nodded. "I'm on my way. I'll call you the minute I know anything."
"Thanks, Jack," Vaughn said quietly. Jack took a moment to look at Vaughn. He could see the strain and anxiety on his face and knew that he was terrified that Sydney might not make it. He unexpectedly found himself filled with compassion for the young agent who obviously cared a great deal about his daughter's well-being, not just the safe return of a CIA asset.
"Agent Vaughn, I'm sure Sydney will be fine," he said reassuringly. With that, he turned and exited the conference room, leaving Kendall and Vaughn staring after him.
*****
It took all the effort Sydney could muster to reach into her vest and remove the silver cylinder containing the vaccine. She tossed it from her hand and watched it roll underneath a desk across the room. She couldn't afford to have that on her when Dixon rescued her -- *if* he rescued her. She cried with frustration at how heavy her limbs felt and how much her muscles ached. Her lungs were burning but the stinging in her eyes had been alleviated by the tears now streaming down her face. She was crying not in frustration at her predicament or because of the physical pain; she was crying for Vaughn. She had been so stupid not to listen when he told her to leave the lab; she was so intent on doing her job when she should have just gotten the hell out of there. Now that she was trapped and unsure of whether Dixon would be able to find her in time, she was left with nothing to do but think about Vaughn. She knew he would be devastated if she didn't make it out of the lab, but worse than that, she knew that he would blame himself despite the fact that it was her fault that she was trapped. She couldn't bear the thought of him carrying around that kind of guilt for the rest of his life. She reached to turn on her CIA comm link and screamed in frustration when she remembered she had thrown it in the lab's incinerator. More than anything right now, she just wanted to hear his voice, wanted to be able to tell him that she loved him more than anything, so he would never forget it if --
She shook her head and forced herself to stop thinking like that. She had to have faith that she would soon be reunited with him. She had to find her way back to him because they had so much to look forward to together . . .
********************************************************************************
Sydney woke with a start and looked at the clock on the nightstand. 3:26 a.m. She rolled to her right and was surprised not to feel a warm body next to hers. She sleepily rubbed her eyes and looked over to see Vaughn standing at the window of his hotel room. He appeared lost in thought and didn't even notice she was awake until she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest. She pressed her cheek to his shoulder and squeezed him tightly. "What are you doing?"
"Just looking out the window. I couldn't sleep."
"You should try. You're gonna be exhausted tomorrow."
"No thanks to you, Ms. Bristow." She could hear the smile in his voice and she smiled against his shoulder, remembering what they'd been doing a couple of hours ago. She placed a soft kiss on his back.
"I'd apologize about that if I was actually sorry. But I'm not."
"Me either," he laughed. "It's gorgeous, isn't it?" he asked, nodding his head towards the window. She stood on her tiptoes and looked over his shoulder at the unobstructed view of the Eiffel Tower bathed in soft orange light.
"Yeah, it is."
"Being in Paris always makes me think about my parents. They met and fell in love while he was on assignment here."
"Most romantic city in the world," Sydney murmured.
"Yeah, it is. Hey, when this is over, you know the first thing I'm gonna do?"
"Take me to that island you promised?"
"You never forget about that do you?" he grinned. "*After* that, I'm going to take you home to my mother."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Why do you sound so surprised? I want her to meet you."
"I'd like that. It's just that meeting the parents is a big deal."
"Yes, it is. But remember when I told you how anxious my mother was to have grandchildren? Well, I want to introduce her to the woman who might give her those grandchildren."
"Vaughn," Sydney smiled with obvious surprise and delight as he turned around to face her. He held the sides of her face and looked deep into her eyes.
"There, I said it -- out loud," he laughed. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Sydney. I want us to have a family and grow old together," he said softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I know those are just dreams right now, but I thought you should know."
"You should know that I want those things too," she said, smiling up at him.
"Then one day, we'll have them," he said as he pulled her back to the bed.
They had *both* woken up exhausted the next morning.
**********************************************************************************
Sydney choked back a sob as she remembered that night. Had it really been just a couple of weeks ago? Two weeks ago, she and Vaughn were contemplating their future, and now she didn't know if she still had one. She felt her eyelids growing heavier and her breathing getting slower and right before she lost consciousness, she said a quick prayer, asking God to somehow get her out of this room and back with Vaughn so they could have the future they so desperately wanted.
*****
Vaughn anxiously paced the length of the warehouse, taking in deep breaths to calm himself down. The last four days had been torture for him, but not nearly as torturous as the past twenty minutes of waiting. He finally stopped pacing when he heard footsteps approaching. The gate slowly opened and he let out a huge sigh of relief when he saw Sydney smiling at him. Before he could even take a few steps forward, she launched herself into his arms, wrapping her own arms tightly around his shoulders. He closed his eyes and squeezed her tightly, wanting to hold her forever and revel in the fact that she was alive and unharmed.
"Sydney," he whispered into her hair. "Thank god you're alright. I was so scared."
"I know," she murmured into his shoulder. "I was too." She clung to him as if her life depended on it. When he opened his eyes to look at her, he was surprised to see tears streaming down her face. He pushed her back gently and brushed the tears away.
"Syd, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," she sniffled. "I'm just . . . when I was trapped in that lab, I didn't think I was ever going to see you again. I wasn't afraid of dying, I was only afraid that I would never get to hold you or touch you or see you again."
"Shhh . . . you're here now and that's all that matters," he said, pulling her back into his arms and swaying gently. "I love you so much, Sydney. You have no idea."
She raised her head and brushed the last tears from her face. "Look at me crying like a sap," she said with a small laugh. She looked up at him, overwhelmed by the love and relief she saw in his eyes. She pressed a palm against his cheek and ran her thumb across it before tilting his face down to hers and softly brushing her lips against his. She placed feather-soft kisses on his lips until he slipped his tongue in her mouth, increasing the intensity of their kiss. Soon they were kissing urgently, releasing all of the tension of her ordeal and creating new tension as their bodies responded to each other.
Vaughn felt desire surging through his entire body, but he knew that it wasn't the time for that, so he broke the kiss and held her at arms length, resting his forehead against hers while he caught his breath.
"What's wrong?" she asked softly, running her fingers through his hair.
"Syd," he breathed. "I can't even tell you how relieved and happy I am that you're back, but . . . " he swallowed hard, unsure how to broach the topic.
"But what?"
Vaughn pulled his head away from hers and looked her directly in the eye. "We need to have a serious talk."
The resolute and serious tone in his voice took her aback and she blinked in surprise. "A talk about what?"
"A talk about what happened in Kuala Lumpur."
"Vaughn, we don't have to dwell on what happened. I'm fine. The doctors at the hospital said I'm fine, and the SD-6 doctors also gave me a clean bill of health when I got back this morning."
"That's great, but I'm not talking about your health. I know you're okay. We need to talk about the fact that you didn't leave the lab when I told you to."
"I know," she said, casting her eyes downward. "I know I should have listened to you, but I was right there and I couldn't leave the lab without those samples. Which, ultimately, I ended up doing anyway," she shook her head ruefully. "I knew I couldn't take the risk of Dixon finding them in my vest."
Vaughn interrupted his own train of thought for a moment. "Yeah, your dad never told me what happened when Dixon rescued you."
"Oh. I called him on my comm link and told him where to find me and how to get into the lab from the outside. By the time he got there, I was already unconscious, so all I remember is waking up in the emergency room. When I woke up Dixon asked how I ended up in that part of the lab. I told him that Phong's research log wasn't where I expected it to be so I went looking in another part of the lab and got trapped."
"Did he believe you?"
"Yes. So did Sloane, thankfully. I gave him the fake log, by the way."
"Good," Vaughn nodded, though his tone was anything but pleased.
"Vaughn, what's with the tortured look?"
"You were unconscious," Vaughn said tersely, breaking away from their embrace. He turned from her and ran a hand through his hair before taking a deep breath and turning back to her. "Sydney, the next time I give you an order to abort a mission, you take it."
Sydney laughed lightly. "Vaughn, I think we've already established that I'm not very good at taking orders."
"Well you're gonna have to get better at it. Seriously, this will *not* happen again. I'm not going to argue with you the next time."
Sydney was stunned by the angry tone in his voice. "Why are you so upset? I already admitted that I made a mistake in not listening to you. I told you I was sorry."
"Sorry?" Vaughn choked out. "Sydney, I don't want an apology from you. I want a promise that the next time I tell you to do something, you're going to do it. As long as I'm in charge of your ops, you have to follow my commands."
"I'm going to have to *what*?" she asked disbelievingly. She hadn't seen this autocratic side of Vaughn since they first started working together, and she couldn't say that she had missed it. "Please tell me that you're not trying to pull rank on me."
"Maybe I am, maybe I need to. I think maybe you need reminding that I'm your case officer, which means that *I* give you instructions and *you* follow them."
Sydney placed her hands on her temples, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. "Okay, who are you and what did you do with the Michael Vaughn that I know?"
"I'm right here, Sydney."
"No," she slowly shook her head, "no, you're not. The Vaughn that I know wouldn't be standing here berating me about following orders. He would be holding me and telling me how glad he is that I'm still alive."
"You don't think that I -- Sydney, I *told* you how relieved I was to have you back and here with me. But that doesn't change the fact that I almost lost you for reasons that were entirely preventable." He rubbed his forehead and lowered his voice. "Do you know what it was like to hear you turn off that comm link? To hear nothing but static on the other end and know that there wasn't a damn thing I could do to save you? Sydney, I saw my life flash before my eyes. I thought you were gonna die," he said in a voice barely above a whisper.
The pain in his eyes tore at her heart, and she would have given anything to take it away. "But I *didn't*, Vaughn," she implored. "I'm here with you now."
"But you came this close to *not* being here, and all because you were too stubborn to leave the lab when I told you to. We can't afford to have these kind of communication breakdowns."
"Oh. So when you say 'jump,' I'm just supposed to ask you 'how high,' no questions asked?"
"When we're working together, yes, that's exactly what you're supposed to do."
Sydney's eyes flashed as she let out a short, disbelieving laugh. "I think you are on a massive power trip right now, Vaughn."
"You think I'm on a power trip? I'm trying to keep you alive, Sydney."
"For whose benefit? Yours or the CIA's?"
"Both!"
"No, I don't think so. I think you're trying to totally rewrite the rules of our relationship."
"And I think that right now, you're having a difficult time separating our personal relationship from our professional relationship. Sydney, this isn't about me trying to be the stereotypical male and keep my little woman in line. This has nothing to do with how we feel about each other. This is about me trying to keep my agent alive and trying to make sure that the CIA's objectives are met."
"That's what I was trying to do, Vaughn," Sydney argued. "The CIA's objective was to get a sample of that vaccine."
"That stopped being the objective the minute I told you to leave the lab. Sydney, you know better than anyone that mission objectives are fluid. They can change minute by minute, and when that happens, you need to accept it and go with whatever I tell you. I wouldn't change your mission midstream just to screw with you; in this case, I was trying to keep you from walking into a situation that we had no intel about."
"I know that," Sydney said quietly.
"Then why didn't you listen to me and get out of there?" Vaughn asked in a soft, anguished voice
"Because. I didn't believe that anything was going to happen to me. I thought that you were worrying unnecessarily simply because it was me in the lab."
"What do you mean by that?" Vaughn asked with a stunned look on his face.
"Can you honestly tell me that you would have been so adamant about aborting the mission if it had been any other agent in the lab?"
"Yes, I absolutely would have," he firmly responded. As he looked at hear, a look of understanding and recognition spread across his face. "My god. You thought I was freaking out just because I'm in love with you."
"The thought crossed my mind," she admitted, looking down at the floor.
"So if any other agent had told you to abort the mission, you would have done it?"
She sighed "I doubt that. You know how stubborn I am."
"Yeah, but you wouldn't have questioned why another agent was telling you to abort. You wouldn't have just assumed that it was because he couldn't put his feelings for you aside. You don't think that I can set my personal feelings aside when we're working together." It was a statement rather than a question.
"Vaughn, I didn't mean . . ." she backtracked. "I know that you always put your professional judgment first when we're working together."
"But now you find yourself questioning my professional judgment when you're in the field?"
"Vaughn, no! That's not what I'm doing -- "
"Maybe not, but maybe it's time for *me* to start questioning my professional judgment. I never should have even told you about the Malaysia countermission. I should have just told Devlin to find another agent. And in Vancouver, when you were stabbed by that guard? I shouldn't have let you stop to upload those photos. I let you talk me into that, when I should have told you to get the hell out of the gallery."
"I was not *stabbed*," she interjected, "it was just a cut and --"
"Sydney, we have a problem," Vaughn said, looking at her with a grave expression on his face. "We can't work together like this."
"Vaughn, I think you're overreacting. You know that ever since we admitted how we felt about each other, we've been doing incredible work together. Kendall's noticed, Devlin's noticed, my dad has noticed. Think about how many commendations we've gotten in the last few months. We've been doing *amazing* things together."
"I'm not discounting any of those things, Sydney. Sometimes I think we work so well together *because* of our feelings for each other. But obviously, there are times, like the other day, when our feelings for each other cloud our judgment. We can't afford for that to happen, for our personal relationship to hinder our professional relationship. Something has to give."
"So what are you saying?" she asked, almost afraid to hear his answer. "What? Are you saying that we have to sacrifice one or the other?"
"Maybe. Maybe we do."
TBC . . .