Chapter 18: "Opening Up"
A sleepy smile spread across Sydney's face as she woke up on Thursday morning. It amazed her how much better she slept when she was with Vaughn, though she wasn't sure if it was because his presence calmed and soothed her or because he left her utterly exhausted every time he made love to her. Either way, she always woke up happy the next morning. Unfortunately, she had also woken up alone for the past few days. Well, not totally alone, she thought with chuckle as she opened her eyes and leaned over the side of the bed, expecting to see Donovan lying on the floor next to her. For the past few days, he'd waddled into the bedroom after Vaughn left for work and quietly sat near the bed, as if he was on orders to watch over her and make sure she was okay.
She was surprised then to look down and not see him staring back at her. She didn't think much of it, though, as she rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. Instead, she tried to figure out how she was going to spend the hours until Vaughn came home. In the past three days, she felt as if she had visited every museum in D.C. She'd enjoyed it, but she definitely needed to find something else to do today. Too bad the CIA didn't give public tours of the Langley headquarters she thought with a devilish grin. It would have been fun to sneak away from a tour and try to find Vaughn's office. On second thought, without her CIA credentials, she was likely to be arrested for snooping, and she could only imagine what would happen if SD-6 security section learned that she was visiting CIA headquarters. She was convinced that she wasn't being tracked this week, but perhaps she should stick to something safe like going to the mall instead.
She was still trying to figure out what to do with herself when she heard the jangling sound of dog tags growing louder by the second. She laughed as she raised herself up on her elbows just in time to see Donovan poke his nose through the cracked door and excitedly run over to the bed.
"I knew you couldn't stay away from me," she grinned, as she leaned over to rub him on the head.
"No, I couldn't."
Sydney momentarily froze when she heard Vaughn's voice, and she looked up to see him standing in the doorway, giving her a smile that made her heart skip a beat. He walked towards her, carrying a tray loaded with juice, croissants and fruit, which he placed at the foot of the bed as he sat down next to her.
"What are you doing here?" she asked as she raised herself into a sitting position.
"Bringing you breakfast in bed," he smiled.
"Shouldn't you be at the office?"
"I'm taking the day off. Tomorrow too," he said with a happy grin. "I only have three more days before you leave, and I didn't want to waste them in the office."
"You're so sweet. This is the best surprise ever," Sydney said happily as she leaned forward to kiss him.
"Really?" Vaughn asked quizzically, leaning back before she could make contact with him.
"Yes. Vaughn, what's wrong?" she asked as he looked at her strangely.
"Nothing, it's just . . . When Eric got back to L.A. last week, did he give you anything?" Vaughn asked, searching her face for signs of recognition.
"Oh my god, yes!" she cried as she rose to her knees and threw her arms around his neck. "I can't believe I forgot to thank you for that," she murmured in his ear. "No wonder you were looking at me like I was crazy just now. I stand corrected -- the tickets to the Maldives were *definitely* the best surprise ever. I haven't even thanked you properly," she smiled as she disentangled herself from him and sat back on her heels.
"It's okay, I was just starting to wonder since you hadn't mentioned them. I was starting to think Eric kept them instead of giving them to you," he grinned.
"No. No, he gave them to me, and I was so . . . " Her voice trailed off as she realized that there were no words to express how she'd felt when she saw the tickets. Instead, she leaned forward, taking Vaughn's face in her hands as she kissed him slowly at first, then more insistently. He moved his hands underneath the hem of her tank top and pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss.
"You're welcome," he grinned when they finally broke apart a few minutes later.
"Thank you," she laughed. "Is this really going to be over by July?" she asked breathlessly.
"It had better be, because you and I are going on vacation no matter what. In all seriousness, the raids are planned for the last week of June, so everything should be over by the time we leave. Then I get to sweep you away and have you all to myself," he said, his eyes twinkling.
"I can't believe it," she said, shaking her head. "I can't wait."
"Me either." Vaughn rose from the bed and pulled open one of his dresser drawers. He removed a shiny booklet and sat back down next to Sydney. "Here."
She took the booklet from him and gasped as she looked at the cover. "Banyan Tree Resort. Is this where we're staying?"
"Yeah," he grinned. Sydney had a rapturous look on her face that he had only seen a few times before, and never while she was fully clothed. It thrilled him to see how happy she was.
"Vaughn, this place looks *amazing*. It's even more beautiful than Fiji. Oh my god," she sang, unable to control her excitement. An aerial shot of the island showed that it couldn't have been more than two square miles in size, and it was completely surrounded by sparkling blue-green water and white sand. Her mouth fell open as she flipped through the brochure and saw pictures of the resort's villas. Each villa stood on short platforms on the beach, and had a thatched roof, glass doors and green shutters opening out to the beach. In the middle of each villa was a four poster bed with sheer fabric draped around each post, and connected to each villa was its own beach sala and jacuzzi. She couldn't imagine a more romantic setting on earth, and knowing she was going to be there with Vaughn made her feel dizzy.
"Wow. I don't even know what to say."
"The look on your face says everything. I did good, huh?"
"*So* good," she grinned at him before turning her attention back to the brochure. "Did you see this? The chefs will cook a gourmet dinner for you on the beach? This place is too good to be true. Do you know how to dive?" she asked excitedly as her words came a mile a minute.
"Yeah, I do, which is good since there's not much to do on the island *other* than swim and dive. I guess we're gonna have to be creative about finding other things to do to occupy our time," he said suggestively.
"We won't have to be *that* creative, Vaughn," she laughed.
"No, I guess not." He kissed her bare shoulder and she turned to look at him again.
"Thank you," she said softly.
"You don't have to thank me. You deserve this, Syd, this and so much more. After everything you've been through and how hard you've worked to bring down the Alliance, you deserve more than a vacation."
"Everything that *we've* been through, and how hard *we've* worked," she corrected. "You've been my partner every step of the way through this, Vaughn. You deserve it too," she said firmly.
"If you say so. Maybe I'll send the bill to Devlin and tell him he owes us," he laughed.
"Oh, he does, definitely. You don't think he's going to freak out when two of his agents just up and leave for a vacation, do you?"
"Who cares?" Vaughn shrugged as he pulled the breakfast tray over to them. "The day the Alliance goes down is the last day we let anyone else dictate what we do with our lives."
She nodded and smiled at him, then laughed as Donovan started dancing around their feet, begging to share their breakfast.
"Greedy dog," Vaughn muttered as he broke off a piece of a croissant and gave it to Donovan. "So what do you want to do today?" he asked, turning back to Sydney.
"It doesn't matter . . . whatever you want to do." She was grateful simply for the opportunity to spend time with him.
"Whatever *I* want to do?" Vaughn asked with a raised eyebrow. "You sure about that?"
"Of course, I'm sure," she smiled seductively. "I don't mind spending the day in bed with you."
"Who said anything about spending the day in bed?" he grinned. "I'm taking you to play hockey."
*****
Three hours later, Sydney sat on a bench, zipping her boots up before pressing her glove-covered hands to her face and warming her cheeks. She had never played hockey before, but Vaughn was a patient teacher and she'd gotten the hang of it pretty quickly, though she suspected that he'd let her score some easy goals on him.
She heard a faint ringing sound coming from the pocket of his leather jacket and realized it was his CIA cellphone. Vaughn had gone to return their equipment and she wasn't sure if she should answer the phone or not. It might be important, she reasoned as she reached into his pocket and pulled the phone out. On the other hand, Vaughn would have a hell of a time explaining why his former asset was answering his phone during her week off. She thus decided against answering the phone, but glanced down at the caller ID just before it stopped ringing. She wasn't sure whose name she was expecting to see on the display, but it definitely wasn't Banks, Melissa, whoever that was.
Vaughn walked back over to her just as she set the phone back down on the bench. "Was that my phone?"
"Yeah," she said as she picked it up and handed it to him. "It was ringing a minute ago. I didn't answer it, but I think you might have a voice mail."
"Thanks. This had better not be what I think it is; I have the day off," he grumbled good-naturedly as he pressed a button and listened to the message. Sydney watched his face carefully. She knew it was none of her business, but she wanted to know who Melissa Banks was and why she was calling Vaughn. After a few moments, he turned the phone off and slipped it back into his pocket.
"You don't need to return the call?" she asked expectantly.
"No, it's nothing important."
Sydney clenched her jaw and looked away from him. If it wasn't important enough for him to call back, the call obviously wasn't work-related, which meant that it must have been personal. And even though she knew it probably wasn't anything to be concerned about, her curiosity was getting the better of her.
"Syd." Her head snapped up and she saw Vaughn staring at her with a concerned expression. It was obvious he had been trying to get her attention for the last few moments. "Are you okay? I was just asking if you were ready to go."
"Oh, yeah, of course," she said absently. "Sorry, I guess I was in my own world for a minute," she said with an embarrassed smile.
"It's okay." He picked up his jacket and turned to head for the exit.
"Michael." He turned back around, surprised to see her still standing next to the bench. He briefly wondered what was wrong, knowing that Sydney only called him Michael when she was trying to get his attention.
"What?"
"Who's Melissa?"
"Melissa?"
"Yeah. The woman who just called. I saw her name on your caller ID."
He slowly walked over to her with a serious expression on his face. "Syd, I didn't want you to find out this way," he began.
"You didn't want me to find out *what*?"
"I was going to explain . . . I was just waiting for the right time."
"The right time?" Sydney asked incredulously. "The right time for what?"
"The right time to see that little vein in your forehead explode," Vaughn laughed. "You should see the look on your face right now. If I didn't know any better, I would think that you thought I was hiding something from you."
Sydney looked at the wide grin on his face and realized he was teasing her. "You jackass!" she laughed as she slapped his arm. "You did that on purpose," she accused.
"Yeah, I did. You look cute when you're all fired up like that. Sydney, who do you think Melissa is? My *other* girlfriend?"
"I don't know who she is, that's the problem. I was just wondering why she was calling you, that's all."
"She's a colleague of mine, a friend. You weren't honestly worried, were you?"
"No, of course not. I know better than to think that you'd be . . . Okay, I may have had a moment of irrational jealousy that another woman was calling you," she admitted. She shot him a dirty look as he started laughing again.
"Sorry," he said as he tried to stifle his laughter. "Melissa and I were friends when I worked at Langley. She was calling because I told her last week that I would go to dinner with her sometime soon."
"Dinner?" Sydney asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes, dinner. She's thinking about transferring to the Paris field office and she wants to get my thoughts about what is was like to work there," he explained.
"And she can't talk to you about in your office?" she asked, making a face. "Personally, I think she should go," she offered.
"You don't even know her!" Vaughn laughed.
"I know, but who wouldn't want to live in Paris? It's the opportunity of a lifetime."
"And it's a long way from Virginia, right? For a spy you can be awfully transparent sometimes, Bristow. You don't care whether Melissa goes to Paris or not -- you just want her away from me, don't you?" he teased.
"Of course not, Vaughn," she scowled. "So is this Melissa pretty?" she asked, feigning nonchalance.
"She's attractive, but nowhere near as gorgeous as you are," he smiled as he pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her.
"Great, that make me feel a lot better," she said sarcastically. "It's going to be hard enough to spend the next three months away from you without having to worry about some beautiful colleague of yours who wants to take you to dinner."
"Syd, please. You know that there's nothing to worry about."
"I know," she sighed. "I just hate it that there are these chunks of your life that I know nothing about. It's just frustrating sometimes."
Vaughn looked down at her, understanding her frustration. By virtue of their professional relationship, he knew almost everything about her life, but there was so much that she still didn't know about his. He had an idea about how he could begin to change that, however.
"Let's get out of here," he said as he grabbed her hand. "There's somewhere I want to take you."
*****
Sydney looked up in surprise as Vaughn turned and pulled the car through the open gates of a cemetery. He remained silent as he slowly navigated the winding drive before finally coming to a stop and turning the engine off. She looked at him questioningly, in search of an explanation, but he didn't give her one.
"Come on," he said softly. They exited the car and he took her hand as he led her across the grass. They walked in silence for a few minutes until he finally stopped in front of a grey marble headstone. Sydney's breath caught in her throat when she saw "William C. Vaughn, Devoted Patriot, Husband and Father," etched into the stone.
"Vaughn," she said softly.
"My mom was here yesterday," he said, nodding at the yellow alstroemeria lying at the foot of the headstone. "She comes every week. I probably haven't come nearly as often as I should have since I've been here, but I've been thinking about him a lot this week."
"Because of my mom," she said knowingly.
"No, actually because of you. You've been here this week and you've met my mom, and I just keep thinking about how much I wish you could have met my dad too. I think he would have liked you even more than my mom does," he laughed. "Mostly because you would have reminded him so much of her."
"Yeah?" she smiled.
"Yes. You're both smart, beautiful and independent, strong-willed but compassionate. And you're both experts at wrapping the Vaughn men around your little fingers. That would have been enough to make him like you, but once he learned how much ass you kick in the field, he would have respected the hell out of you."
She blushed and looked away for a moment before sinking onto the grass and pulling him down to sit with her. "Tell me about him."
"Okay. Well, he grew up in a town about an hour away from Philadelphia. He had 3 brothers and 2 sisters and they were all really close -- they still are. He and my Uncle John both played hockey at Boston College --"
"Who was the bigger hockey freak? You or your dad?" Sydney interrupted.
"I think he was."
"I find that hard to believe," Sydney smiled. "What made him decide that he wanted to work for the CIA?"
"When he was growing up, he really wanted to go into the Air Force and become a fighter pilot, but his eyesight wasn't good enough so he couldn't. Then the Cold War started and the Cuban Missile Crisis took place while he was in college, and he saw an opportunity to serve his country in another way. He loved what he did, at least until the last couple of years before his death."
"Do you think he would have stayed with the agency if he hadn't been killed?"
"Yeah," Vaughn said as he plucked a piece of grass and twirled it between his fingers. "He believed in honor and duty and finishing what he started. He questioned his last few ops, but I think he always believed that he was doing whatever it took to protect his country -- at least that's what I gathered from reading his diary. He was a company guy up until the day he died, which makes me wonder how he'd feel about all the times that I've broken the rules in the past couple of years."
"Since you met me," Sydney said with a knowing smile.
"Yeah, you're such a bad influence on me, Syd," he smirked. "Hey, I don't regret any of the times I've broken the rules for you," he said, growing serious as he looked into her eyes. "Actually, knowing how many times my dad wanted to go against orders and didn't, I think he'd probably be happy to know that I don't have the same qualms about that that he did."
"He'd be proud of you."
"That's what my mom always says, and she knew him better than anyone, so I take her word for it," he shrugged.
"Did she ever date again after he died?" Sydney asked curiously.
"A few times here and there, but nothing serious." He grew thoughtful for a few moments. "God, it's been twenty-six years since he died. Can you imagine going that long without ever having another serious relationship?"
"Actually, I can understand that. I mean, once you've been with the love of your life, I doubt that you'd want to be with anyone else; it just wouldn't be the same. If anything ever happened to you, I can't imagine that I'd want to be with anyone else after that."
"Yeah, but you probably thought the same thing after Danny died."
"No, not really. I didn't think that I *would* fall in love again, but I never swore to myself that I wouldn't. It would be different with you," she said as she looked down at the ground. "I was so in love with Danny, but I never felt like we were 'meant to be,' you know? I never felt like everything that ever happened in my life was leading me to him, but that's how I feel about you. I feel like I was *supposed* to find you, like we were supposed to find each other.
"I imagine that's the same way your mom felt about your dad. I mean, what are the chances of meeting someone and connecting with him and then seeing him again four months later at a sidewalk cafe? That's not luck, Vaughn, it's fate. That only comes along once in a lifetime, and it can't be duplicated, so I completely understand why your mom never wanted to be with anyone else. When you were younger, did you ever wish that she'd get married again?"
"Sometimes I did, mostly when I was in little league or hockey and I'd see all my teammates with their dads. But really that was less about wanting a new dad and more about just wanting to fit in with all my friends. I don't know how I would have reacted if my mom had actually married again. I don't know if I would have resented her for trying to replace my dad, or if I would have just been happy that she was happy again," he shrugged. "What about you? Was your dad ever with anyone else after your mom left?"
"If he was, he hid it from me, so I have no idea." She shook her head, realizing that she couldn't remember ever seeing her father with someone other than her mother. "I don't know if my childhood would have been better or worse if I had had a stepmother. It probably would have been worse," she acknowledged. "I resented my dad and idolized my mother so much that I think I would have hated any woman who tried to take her place, which is ironic considering everything that I now know about her. It must have been so hard for my dad to let me hold on to my memories of her, to let me keep believing that she was this perfect wife and mother. Sometimes I wish he would have just told me the truth," she said ruefully.
"He thought she was dead, so he probably didn't see the harm in letting you believe that she was a good person," Vaughn reasoned. "He probably realized that it would have been even harder for you to deal with her death if you had known the truth. Sometimes I forget that I wasn't the only one who lost a parent because of her," he said, looking at her meaningfully.
Sydney looked back at him with surprise. "Vaughn, it's not the same thing."
"Yeah it is. Whoever Laura Bristow was, she was the only mother you'd ever known, and she died in that accident. You grew up without her the same way that I grew up without my dad, and you suffered every bit as much as I did, maybe even more. At least I had a huge, supportive family; all you had were nannies. I can't imagine how lonely and isolating that must have been."
"Are those violins I hear playing in the background?" Sydney cracked, desperately wanting to change the subject. "Vaughn, I don't want to talk about my mom right now. Especially not here."
"Syd, it's okay to talk to me about her. Even here. We agreed that we were going to stop holding back about our parents, didn't we?"
Sydney looked at him, amazed that they had actually reached this new place in their relationship where he was willing to listen to her talk about her mother, even in a place that was sacred to him. She felt her heart swell with love for him and the way he was slowly opening up to her.
"Yes, we agreed," she nodded. "I just don't want to think about her right now, that's all. I want to hear more about your dad." She wrapped both of her arms around his left arm and rested her head on his shoulder. He kissed her forehead as she smiled back at him. "So tell me, what's your favorite memory of him?"
"Christmas when I was six," he said almost instantly. "My dad had to leave for a mission about two weeks before Christmas, but he swore that he was going to be home in enough time to go looking for a tree and to do all the other things people do during the holidays. But the mission took longer than expected, and we weren't sure that he was going to make it home at all. So my mom and I bought the tree and decorated it ourselves, and I was so unhappy about it. Then on Christmas morning, I woke up and saw that my dad had been in my room watching me sleep the night before. I was so excited to see him, and I remember him giving me a piggyback ride downstairs, where there was this huge box next to the tree. It turned out to be a puppy."
"That's so sweet," she smiled.
"Yeah, it sounds just like one of those Christmas commercials, doesn't it? That's my favorite memory, definitely, but my strongest memory -- at least now -- is when he gave me his watch. At the time, I didn't think anything of it. I mean, I was eight and I was still in my 'girls suck' phase, so when he told me I could set my heart by that watch, it didn't mean a whole lot to me. In fact, I took it, stuffed it in a drawer, and didn't think twice about it, even after he died. But my mom found it one day and kept it for safe-keeping, and on the day I finished CST and officially became an agent, she gave it back to me. She told me hoe proud he would have been of me, and from that day on, I never took it off.
"Then it stopped the day I met you, and I didn't even realize the significance of that until about a year later when I remembered what he told me. It was almost like he knew that I was going to meet you. Rationally, I know that he couldn't possibly have known, but I like to think that he did anyway."
"Maybe he did," Sydney smiled. She knew it sounded crazy, but when she thought about all the events that had to happen in both their lives to get them to the point they were at now, it all seemed too intricate to have been an accident. Perhaps it wasn't at all.
TBC . . .
A sleepy smile spread across Sydney's face as she woke up on Thursday morning. It amazed her how much better she slept when she was with Vaughn, though she wasn't sure if it was because his presence calmed and soothed her or because he left her utterly exhausted every time he made love to her. Either way, she always woke up happy the next morning. Unfortunately, she had also woken up alone for the past few days. Well, not totally alone, she thought with chuckle as she opened her eyes and leaned over the side of the bed, expecting to see Donovan lying on the floor next to her. For the past few days, he'd waddled into the bedroom after Vaughn left for work and quietly sat near the bed, as if he was on orders to watch over her and make sure she was okay.
She was surprised then to look down and not see him staring back at her. She didn't think much of it, though, as she rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. Instead, she tried to figure out how she was going to spend the hours until Vaughn came home. In the past three days, she felt as if she had visited every museum in D.C. She'd enjoyed it, but she definitely needed to find something else to do today. Too bad the CIA didn't give public tours of the Langley headquarters she thought with a devilish grin. It would have been fun to sneak away from a tour and try to find Vaughn's office. On second thought, without her CIA credentials, she was likely to be arrested for snooping, and she could only imagine what would happen if SD-6 security section learned that she was visiting CIA headquarters. She was convinced that she wasn't being tracked this week, but perhaps she should stick to something safe like going to the mall instead.
She was still trying to figure out what to do with herself when she heard the jangling sound of dog tags growing louder by the second. She laughed as she raised herself up on her elbows just in time to see Donovan poke his nose through the cracked door and excitedly run over to the bed.
"I knew you couldn't stay away from me," she grinned, as she leaned over to rub him on the head.
"No, I couldn't."
Sydney momentarily froze when she heard Vaughn's voice, and she looked up to see him standing in the doorway, giving her a smile that made her heart skip a beat. He walked towards her, carrying a tray loaded with juice, croissants and fruit, which he placed at the foot of the bed as he sat down next to her.
"What are you doing here?" she asked as she raised herself into a sitting position.
"Bringing you breakfast in bed," he smiled.
"Shouldn't you be at the office?"
"I'm taking the day off. Tomorrow too," he said with a happy grin. "I only have three more days before you leave, and I didn't want to waste them in the office."
"You're so sweet. This is the best surprise ever," Sydney said happily as she leaned forward to kiss him.
"Really?" Vaughn asked quizzically, leaning back before she could make contact with him.
"Yes. Vaughn, what's wrong?" she asked as he looked at her strangely.
"Nothing, it's just . . . When Eric got back to L.A. last week, did he give you anything?" Vaughn asked, searching her face for signs of recognition.
"Oh my god, yes!" she cried as she rose to her knees and threw her arms around his neck. "I can't believe I forgot to thank you for that," she murmured in his ear. "No wonder you were looking at me like I was crazy just now. I stand corrected -- the tickets to the Maldives were *definitely* the best surprise ever. I haven't even thanked you properly," she smiled as she disentangled herself from him and sat back on her heels.
"It's okay, I was just starting to wonder since you hadn't mentioned them. I was starting to think Eric kept them instead of giving them to you," he grinned.
"No. No, he gave them to me, and I was so . . . " Her voice trailed off as she realized that there were no words to express how she'd felt when she saw the tickets. Instead, she leaned forward, taking Vaughn's face in her hands as she kissed him slowly at first, then more insistently. He moved his hands underneath the hem of her tank top and pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss.
"You're welcome," he grinned when they finally broke apart a few minutes later.
"Thank you," she laughed. "Is this really going to be over by July?" she asked breathlessly.
"It had better be, because you and I are going on vacation no matter what. In all seriousness, the raids are planned for the last week of June, so everything should be over by the time we leave. Then I get to sweep you away and have you all to myself," he said, his eyes twinkling.
"I can't believe it," she said, shaking her head. "I can't wait."
"Me either." Vaughn rose from the bed and pulled open one of his dresser drawers. He removed a shiny booklet and sat back down next to Sydney. "Here."
She took the booklet from him and gasped as she looked at the cover. "Banyan Tree Resort. Is this where we're staying?"
"Yeah," he grinned. Sydney had a rapturous look on her face that he had only seen a few times before, and never while she was fully clothed. It thrilled him to see how happy she was.
"Vaughn, this place looks *amazing*. It's even more beautiful than Fiji. Oh my god," she sang, unable to control her excitement. An aerial shot of the island showed that it couldn't have been more than two square miles in size, and it was completely surrounded by sparkling blue-green water and white sand. Her mouth fell open as she flipped through the brochure and saw pictures of the resort's villas. Each villa stood on short platforms on the beach, and had a thatched roof, glass doors and green shutters opening out to the beach. In the middle of each villa was a four poster bed with sheer fabric draped around each post, and connected to each villa was its own beach sala and jacuzzi. She couldn't imagine a more romantic setting on earth, and knowing she was going to be there with Vaughn made her feel dizzy.
"Wow. I don't even know what to say."
"The look on your face says everything. I did good, huh?"
"*So* good," she grinned at him before turning her attention back to the brochure. "Did you see this? The chefs will cook a gourmet dinner for you on the beach? This place is too good to be true. Do you know how to dive?" she asked excitedly as her words came a mile a minute.
"Yeah, I do, which is good since there's not much to do on the island *other* than swim and dive. I guess we're gonna have to be creative about finding other things to do to occupy our time," he said suggestively.
"We won't have to be *that* creative, Vaughn," she laughed.
"No, I guess not." He kissed her bare shoulder and she turned to look at him again.
"Thank you," she said softly.
"You don't have to thank me. You deserve this, Syd, this and so much more. After everything you've been through and how hard you've worked to bring down the Alliance, you deserve more than a vacation."
"Everything that *we've* been through, and how hard *we've* worked," she corrected. "You've been my partner every step of the way through this, Vaughn. You deserve it too," she said firmly.
"If you say so. Maybe I'll send the bill to Devlin and tell him he owes us," he laughed.
"Oh, he does, definitely. You don't think he's going to freak out when two of his agents just up and leave for a vacation, do you?"
"Who cares?" Vaughn shrugged as he pulled the breakfast tray over to them. "The day the Alliance goes down is the last day we let anyone else dictate what we do with our lives."
She nodded and smiled at him, then laughed as Donovan started dancing around their feet, begging to share their breakfast.
"Greedy dog," Vaughn muttered as he broke off a piece of a croissant and gave it to Donovan. "So what do you want to do today?" he asked, turning back to Sydney.
"It doesn't matter . . . whatever you want to do." She was grateful simply for the opportunity to spend time with him.
"Whatever *I* want to do?" Vaughn asked with a raised eyebrow. "You sure about that?"
"Of course, I'm sure," she smiled seductively. "I don't mind spending the day in bed with you."
"Who said anything about spending the day in bed?" he grinned. "I'm taking you to play hockey."
*****
Three hours later, Sydney sat on a bench, zipping her boots up before pressing her glove-covered hands to her face and warming her cheeks. She had never played hockey before, but Vaughn was a patient teacher and she'd gotten the hang of it pretty quickly, though she suspected that he'd let her score some easy goals on him.
She heard a faint ringing sound coming from the pocket of his leather jacket and realized it was his CIA cellphone. Vaughn had gone to return their equipment and she wasn't sure if she should answer the phone or not. It might be important, she reasoned as she reached into his pocket and pulled the phone out. On the other hand, Vaughn would have a hell of a time explaining why his former asset was answering his phone during her week off. She thus decided against answering the phone, but glanced down at the caller ID just before it stopped ringing. She wasn't sure whose name she was expecting to see on the display, but it definitely wasn't Banks, Melissa, whoever that was.
Vaughn walked back over to her just as she set the phone back down on the bench. "Was that my phone?"
"Yeah," she said as she picked it up and handed it to him. "It was ringing a minute ago. I didn't answer it, but I think you might have a voice mail."
"Thanks. This had better not be what I think it is; I have the day off," he grumbled good-naturedly as he pressed a button and listened to the message. Sydney watched his face carefully. She knew it was none of her business, but she wanted to know who Melissa Banks was and why she was calling Vaughn. After a few moments, he turned the phone off and slipped it back into his pocket.
"You don't need to return the call?" she asked expectantly.
"No, it's nothing important."
Sydney clenched her jaw and looked away from him. If it wasn't important enough for him to call back, the call obviously wasn't work-related, which meant that it must have been personal. And even though she knew it probably wasn't anything to be concerned about, her curiosity was getting the better of her.
"Syd." Her head snapped up and she saw Vaughn staring at her with a concerned expression. It was obvious he had been trying to get her attention for the last few moments. "Are you okay? I was just asking if you were ready to go."
"Oh, yeah, of course," she said absently. "Sorry, I guess I was in my own world for a minute," she said with an embarrassed smile.
"It's okay." He picked up his jacket and turned to head for the exit.
"Michael." He turned back around, surprised to see her still standing next to the bench. He briefly wondered what was wrong, knowing that Sydney only called him Michael when she was trying to get his attention.
"What?"
"Who's Melissa?"
"Melissa?"
"Yeah. The woman who just called. I saw her name on your caller ID."
He slowly walked over to her with a serious expression on his face. "Syd, I didn't want you to find out this way," he began.
"You didn't want me to find out *what*?"
"I was going to explain . . . I was just waiting for the right time."
"The right time?" Sydney asked incredulously. "The right time for what?"
"The right time to see that little vein in your forehead explode," Vaughn laughed. "You should see the look on your face right now. If I didn't know any better, I would think that you thought I was hiding something from you."
Sydney looked at the wide grin on his face and realized he was teasing her. "You jackass!" she laughed as she slapped his arm. "You did that on purpose," she accused.
"Yeah, I did. You look cute when you're all fired up like that. Sydney, who do you think Melissa is? My *other* girlfriend?"
"I don't know who she is, that's the problem. I was just wondering why she was calling you, that's all."
"She's a colleague of mine, a friend. You weren't honestly worried, were you?"
"No, of course not. I know better than to think that you'd be . . . Okay, I may have had a moment of irrational jealousy that another woman was calling you," she admitted. She shot him a dirty look as he started laughing again.
"Sorry," he said as he tried to stifle his laughter. "Melissa and I were friends when I worked at Langley. She was calling because I told her last week that I would go to dinner with her sometime soon."
"Dinner?" Sydney asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes, dinner. She's thinking about transferring to the Paris field office and she wants to get my thoughts about what is was like to work there," he explained.
"And she can't talk to you about in your office?" she asked, making a face. "Personally, I think she should go," she offered.
"You don't even know her!" Vaughn laughed.
"I know, but who wouldn't want to live in Paris? It's the opportunity of a lifetime."
"And it's a long way from Virginia, right? For a spy you can be awfully transparent sometimes, Bristow. You don't care whether Melissa goes to Paris or not -- you just want her away from me, don't you?" he teased.
"Of course not, Vaughn," she scowled. "So is this Melissa pretty?" she asked, feigning nonchalance.
"She's attractive, but nowhere near as gorgeous as you are," he smiled as he pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her.
"Great, that make me feel a lot better," she said sarcastically. "It's going to be hard enough to spend the next three months away from you without having to worry about some beautiful colleague of yours who wants to take you to dinner."
"Syd, please. You know that there's nothing to worry about."
"I know," she sighed. "I just hate it that there are these chunks of your life that I know nothing about. It's just frustrating sometimes."
Vaughn looked down at her, understanding her frustration. By virtue of their professional relationship, he knew almost everything about her life, but there was so much that she still didn't know about his. He had an idea about how he could begin to change that, however.
"Let's get out of here," he said as he grabbed her hand. "There's somewhere I want to take you."
*****
Sydney looked up in surprise as Vaughn turned and pulled the car through the open gates of a cemetery. He remained silent as he slowly navigated the winding drive before finally coming to a stop and turning the engine off. She looked at him questioningly, in search of an explanation, but he didn't give her one.
"Come on," he said softly. They exited the car and he took her hand as he led her across the grass. They walked in silence for a few minutes until he finally stopped in front of a grey marble headstone. Sydney's breath caught in her throat when she saw "William C. Vaughn, Devoted Patriot, Husband and Father," etched into the stone.
"Vaughn," she said softly.
"My mom was here yesterday," he said, nodding at the yellow alstroemeria lying at the foot of the headstone. "She comes every week. I probably haven't come nearly as often as I should have since I've been here, but I've been thinking about him a lot this week."
"Because of my mom," she said knowingly.
"No, actually because of you. You've been here this week and you've met my mom, and I just keep thinking about how much I wish you could have met my dad too. I think he would have liked you even more than my mom does," he laughed. "Mostly because you would have reminded him so much of her."
"Yeah?" she smiled.
"Yes. You're both smart, beautiful and independent, strong-willed but compassionate. And you're both experts at wrapping the Vaughn men around your little fingers. That would have been enough to make him like you, but once he learned how much ass you kick in the field, he would have respected the hell out of you."
She blushed and looked away for a moment before sinking onto the grass and pulling him down to sit with her. "Tell me about him."
"Okay. Well, he grew up in a town about an hour away from Philadelphia. He had 3 brothers and 2 sisters and they were all really close -- they still are. He and my Uncle John both played hockey at Boston College --"
"Who was the bigger hockey freak? You or your dad?" Sydney interrupted.
"I think he was."
"I find that hard to believe," Sydney smiled. "What made him decide that he wanted to work for the CIA?"
"When he was growing up, he really wanted to go into the Air Force and become a fighter pilot, but his eyesight wasn't good enough so he couldn't. Then the Cold War started and the Cuban Missile Crisis took place while he was in college, and he saw an opportunity to serve his country in another way. He loved what he did, at least until the last couple of years before his death."
"Do you think he would have stayed with the agency if he hadn't been killed?"
"Yeah," Vaughn said as he plucked a piece of grass and twirled it between his fingers. "He believed in honor and duty and finishing what he started. He questioned his last few ops, but I think he always believed that he was doing whatever it took to protect his country -- at least that's what I gathered from reading his diary. He was a company guy up until the day he died, which makes me wonder how he'd feel about all the times that I've broken the rules in the past couple of years."
"Since you met me," Sydney said with a knowing smile.
"Yeah, you're such a bad influence on me, Syd," he smirked. "Hey, I don't regret any of the times I've broken the rules for you," he said, growing serious as he looked into her eyes. "Actually, knowing how many times my dad wanted to go against orders and didn't, I think he'd probably be happy to know that I don't have the same qualms about that that he did."
"He'd be proud of you."
"That's what my mom always says, and she knew him better than anyone, so I take her word for it," he shrugged.
"Did she ever date again after he died?" Sydney asked curiously.
"A few times here and there, but nothing serious." He grew thoughtful for a few moments. "God, it's been twenty-six years since he died. Can you imagine going that long without ever having another serious relationship?"
"Actually, I can understand that. I mean, once you've been with the love of your life, I doubt that you'd want to be with anyone else; it just wouldn't be the same. If anything ever happened to you, I can't imagine that I'd want to be with anyone else after that."
"Yeah, but you probably thought the same thing after Danny died."
"No, not really. I didn't think that I *would* fall in love again, but I never swore to myself that I wouldn't. It would be different with you," she said as she looked down at the ground. "I was so in love with Danny, but I never felt like we were 'meant to be,' you know? I never felt like everything that ever happened in my life was leading me to him, but that's how I feel about you. I feel like I was *supposed* to find you, like we were supposed to find each other.
"I imagine that's the same way your mom felt about your dad. I mean, what are the chances of meeting someone and connecting with him and then seeing him again four months later at a sidewalk cafe? That's not luck, Vaughn, it's fate. That only comes along once in a lifetime, and it can't be duplicated, so I completely understand why your mom never wanted to be with anyone else. When you were younger, did you ever wish that she'd get married again?"
"Sometimes I did, mostly when I was in little league or hockey and I'd see all my teammates with their dads. But really that was less about wanting a new dad and more about just wanting to fit in with all my friends. I don't know how I would have reacted if my mom had actually married again. I don't know if I would have resented her for trying to replace my dad, or if I would have just been happy that she was happy again," he shrugged. "What about you? Was your dad ever with anyone else after your mom left?"
"If he was, he hid it from me, so I have no idea." She shook her head, realizing that she couldn't remember ever seeing her father with someone other than her mother. "I don't know if my childhood would have been better or worse if I had had a stepmother. It probably would have been worse," she acknowledged. "I resented my dad and idolized my mother so much that I think I would have hated any woman who tried to take her place, which is ironic considering everything that I now know about her. It must have been so hard for my dad to let me hold on to my memories of her, to let me keep believing that she was this perfect wife and mother. Sometimes I wish he would have just told me the truth," she said ruefully.
"He thought she was dead, so he probably didn't see the harm in letting you believe that she was a good person," Vaughn reasoned. "He probably realized that it would have been even harder for you to deal with her death if you had known the truth. Sometimes I forget that I wasn't the only one who lost a parent because of her," he said, looking at her meaningfully.
Sydney looked back at him with surprise. "Vaughn, it's not the same thing."
"Yeah it is. Whoever Laura Bristow was, she was the only mother you'd ever known, and she died in that accident. You grew up without her the same way that I grew up without my dad, and you suffered every bit as much as I did, maybe even more. At least I had a huge, supportive family; all you had were nannies. I can't imagine how lonely and isolating that must have been."
"Are those violins I hear playing in the background?" Sydney cracked, desperately wanting to change the subject. "Vaughn, I don't want to talk about my mom right now. Especially not here."
"Syd, it's okay to talk to me about her. Even here. We agreed that we were going to stop holding back about our parents, didn't we?"
Sydney looked at him, amazed that they had actually reached this new place in their relationship where he was willing to listen to her talk about her mother, even in a place that was sacred to him. She felt her heart swell with love for him and the way he was slowly opening up to her.
"Yes, we agreed," she nodded. "I just don't want to think about her right now, that's all. I want to hear more about your dad." She wrapped both of her arms around his left arm and rested her head on his shoulder. He kissed her forehead as she smiled back at him. "So tell me, what's your favorite memory of him?"
"Christmas when I was six," he said almost instantly. "My dad had to leave for a mission about two weeks before Christmas, but he swore that he was going to be home in enough time to go looking for a tree and to do all the other things people do during the holidays. But the mission took longer than expected, and we weren't sure that he was going to make it home at all. So my mom and I bought the tree and decorated it ourselves, and I was so unhappy about it. Then on Christmas morning, I woke up and saw that my dad had been in my room watching me sleep the night before. I was so excited to see him, and I remember him giving me a piggyback ride downstairs, where there was this huge box next to the tree. It turned out to be a puppy."
"That's so sweet," she smiled.
"Yeah, it sounds just like one of those Christmas commercials, doesn't it? That's my favorite memory, definitely, but my strongest memory -- at least now -- is when he gave me his watch. At the time, I didn't think anything of it. I mean, I was eight and I was still in my 'girls suck' phase, so when he told me I could set my heart by that watch, it didn't mean a whole lot to me. In fact, I took it, stuffed it in a drawer, and didn't think twice about it, even after he died. But my mom found it one day and kept it for safe-keeping, and on the day I finished CST and officially became an agent, she gave it back to me. She told me hoe proud he would have been of me, and from that day on, I never took it off.
"Then it stopped the day I met you, and I didn't even realize the significance of that until about a year later when I remembered what he told me. It was almost like he knew that I was going to meet you. Rationally, I know that he couldn't possibly have known, but I like to think that he did anyway."
"Maybe he did," Sydney smiled. She knew it sounded crazy, but when she thought about all the events that had to happen in both their lives to get them to the point they were at now, it all seemed too intricate to have been an accident. Perhaps it wasn't at all.
TBC . . .