Chapter 20: "Unpacking"
After turning off the television in the living room, Vaughn trudged upstairs and entered his bedroom without bothering to turn on the lights. He flopped down onto the bed with a heavy sigh and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before reaching out and pulling one of the pillows to him. It was the same pillow Sydney had used during her stay, and as he inhaled deeply, he realized that it still smelled like her. He held it closer and wrapped his arms around it, burying his face into it and closing his eyes. She'd only been gone for eight hours, and already, he missed her desperately. The past week hadn't been the first time that they'd spent time alone with each other, but it was the first time that he'd gotten a taste of what it would be like to completely share his life with her and he hadn't been at all prepared for how empty he'd feel once it was over.
He had to admit that he had been completely spoiled by having Sydney there for the last nine days. Coming home to her every day after work had been like a dream come true, and he could barely believe how good it felt just to hold her when he got inside the door. For anyone else, sharing the details of his day with her over dinner might not have been a big deal, but it had meant the world to him. He had reveled all the normal, everyday things that most couples take for granted -- going for jogs, brushing their teeth at the same time, watching television together -- and he knew that she had enjoyed it too. She was so amazing at what she did that he couldn't imagine her ever settling for a boring 9 to 5 job, but he knew that there was a part of her that longed for normalcy and domesticity, and when he was with her, he wanted those same things too.
He knew that normalcy and domesticity were the last things awaiting her back in L.A., however. Instead, she'd be going back to her isolated, shadowy double life, and it pained him knowing that he wouldn't be there to give her the emotional support she needed to deal with that life. Worse than that, he felt a physically ache knowing that he wouldn't be able to see or touch her for the next three months. After having her all to himself for more than a week, the void in his life now that she was gone seemed impossible to fill, and it almost scared him to realize how much he needed her and what a huge part of his life she had become.
He let out another loud sigh and was momentarily startled when he felt a vibrating sensation in his pants. He reached into his pocket to pull out his cellphone and answered it without looking at the caller ID.
"Vaughn here."
"Bristow, here," he heard a teasing voice reply.
"Syd?"
"No, Jack," she laughed. "Of course it's me. I know you said that I didn't have to, but I just wanted to let you know that I got home safely."
"I'm so glad that you did call. I've been watching CNN for the last six hours, praying not to hear about any plane crashes or shootings at LAX," he laughed. "Everything's okay?" he asked, closing his eyes again and letting the sound of her voice wash over him.
"Yeah, everything's fine except that I miss you already. What did you do to me?"
"You were there. Surely you haven't forgotten already." His low, seductive voice sent a tingle down her spine and heat racing through her body.
"I don't mean physically," she smiled as she sat down on the floor next to her bed. "I just . . . I never thought that I'd ever meet someone that I wanted to be with *all* the time, like every minute of the day. It makes me nervous," she admitted. "I just never pictured myself as the kind of needy woman who couldn't stand to be away from her boyfriend. I'm not turning into that woman, am I?" she asked with genuine concern.
"Of course not. 'Needy' is the last word I'd ever use to describe you, Syd. Besides, it's not just you. I'm currently laying on my bed, curled up with your pillow because it still smells like you. If that's not pathetic, I don't know what is," he said wryly.
"Aw, I think it's sweet, and at least you have something there to remind you of me. I don't have anything of yours here," she sighed. She glanced down at the diamond pendant around her neck and realized that she did have a small piece of him with her, but she wanted so much more.
"You have my heart," he offered. "You took it back to L.A. with you"
"I know," she said with a soft smile. "But that's not going to keep me warm at night. At least you have Donovan to curl up with."
"Lucky me," he laughed. "Syd, after sleeping next to you for the last week, Donovan is a very poor substitute, believe me. I'd do anything to have you back here with me right now."
"And I'd do anything to be back." She glanced at her clock and noticed that it was almost 9:00, which meant that it was nearing midnight on the east coast. "Vaughn, aren't you tired? If you need to go to sleep, I'll understand."
"No. I don't know when I'm going to get the chance to talk to you again, and I'm not ready to say goodbye yet."
His words sent a thrill through her, but she was trying her damnedest to be unselfish and practical. "I know, but it might not be very smart for us to stay on the phone for too long."
"I don't care," he said stubbornly. Besides, our phones are encrypted. We're fine."
"You don't care? Okay, who are you, and what have you done with the ultra-protective, ultra-cautious Michael Vaughn that I know?" she teased.
"He's still here, he's just bound and gagged in the closet. I'm his smarter, sexier twin."
"Smarter, maybe, but sexier? I don't think that's possible." She didn't think it was legal, either, as she remembered some of the things he'd done to her while she was with him. Then again, she had put her own skills to good use as well. Maybe they could share a cell together, she thought with a giggle.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing," she stammered when she realized that he'd caught her laughing outloud.
"You're lying," Vaughn grinned. He could almost picture the sheepish smile on her face right now. "What were you thinking about?"
"I was just thinking about some of our, uh, activities last week. I'm pretty sure some of them might be illegal in some of your more backwoods jurisdictions."
"Well, lock me up and throw away the key, Officer Bristow. I'm willing to do the time."
"God knows you were more than willing to do the crime," she laughed. "I never would have guessed that you had that in you when we first started working together. You were so 'Dudley Do-Right' when we first met."
"Dudley Do-Right? You're joking, right?"
"Nope," she grinned. "You were Mr. By-the-Book and you know it."
"Yeah? Well, I thought you were totally frigid when we first met. No, actually, I take that back," he laughed. "When we first met, I thought you were crazy. The second time we met in the bloodmobile, I thought you were a huge brat. I didn't actually think you were frigid until you turned down my offer for a Slush-O at the convenience store."
"Of course I was frigid after standing in front of that cooler for so long!" she laughed. "And I'm sorry that I turned down your precious Slush-O. I know how much you love them and I -- wait, you thought I was a brat?" she asked suddenly.
"You were! 'Do I look like I'm wearing headgear?'" he mocked.
She blushed, remembering what a huge fool she'd made of herself that day. "God, I can't believe you remember that conversation," she cringed.
"I remember every word you've ever said to me, Syd. It was my job," he said lightly.
"Yeah, but you didn't do it because it was your job," she said softly.
"You're right. I did it mostly in hopes of getting you into bed one day."
"Vaughn!" she said with a mock indignation.
"It worked, didn't it?" he laughed.
"Too well, apparently. I should have known that you had an ulterior motive for being so sweet, not that you needed one."
"I know, right? I swear, the minute you got me alone in Lake Tahoe, you were all over me," he smirked.
"*I* was all over *you*? Actually, I kind of was, wasn't I?" she said, after thinking about it for a moment. "Well, I couldn't help it. I wanted you, and I had already waited too long to tell you, and you were too busy being a gentleman to make the first move, so I had to."
"I'm just glad that you did. I honestly can't remember what my life was like before that night. I don't ever want to have to remember," he said earnestly.
"You say that now," she teased, "but spend a few more years with me, Vaughn, and you might end up begging to go back to life Before Sydney."
"Not a chance. I already told you, you're stuck with me, Bristow."
"Then I guess it's a good thing that I like you and want to keep you around, isn't it?"
"Definitely a good thing," Vaughn grinned as he kicked off his shoes and got more comfortable on the bed. "Definitely. Hey, you haven't unpacked yet, have you?"
"Vaughn, please," she scoffed. "You know me better than that. You just watched me spend the last nine days living out of my suitcase."
"You're hopeless, Sydney," he shook his head. When we go to the Maldives, I'm going to force you to unpack."
"Why? So I can be all neat and orderly like you?" she teased.
"It wouldn't hurt. When we were in Tahoe, you told me that you grew accustomed to living out of your suitcase because all your SD-6 missions were so short, right?"
"Yes," she smiled. God, he really did remember every conversation they'd ever had.
"Well, unpacking while we're on vacation will be like a symbolic start to your new, post-SD-6 life, don't you think? Actually, that's just an excuse. I just really want to see your clothes hanging next to mine in the closet," he admitted. "That'll just make everything seem more real somehow."
Just the thought of that gave Sydney butterflies, and she wondered how something so mundane and insignificant could excite her so much. "Okay, then. When we get settled in our room, I'll let you instruct me on the fine art of unpacking."
"I can't wait. Do you want a few pointers now?"
"No!" she laughed. "I am *not* unpacking right now. I'm way too tired for that."
"But I think you should."
"Why?" she asked suspiciously.
"Because I'm missing a few things from here and I think they might've ended up in your suitcase." She could hear the smile in his voice and it made her whole body tingle with excitement.
"Vaughn, what did you do?"
"Do?" he asked, feigning ignorance. "I didn't do anything."
"Right," she said disbelievingly as she quickly unzipped her suitcase. As soon as she opened it, she found a square, cream-colored envelope laying on top of her clothes. She picked it up and ran her fingers across the fancy, textured surface, and when she turned it over, she noticed fancy gold lettering in one corner that said. "EV." "What's in the envelope?" she asked, hoping for a hint.
"Actually, I don't know. My mom's responsible for that. She asked me to sneak it in with your things, and made me swear not to open it."
"You've got to love a man who keeps his promises to his mother," she laughed as she carefully opened the envelope. The first thing she removed was a handwritten note on matching stationary: "Sydney, I thought you might like to have these. - Elise."
Sydney picked the envelope up from her lap and reached inside, pulling out a rectangular object wrapped in tissue paper. When she unwrapped the paper, she found a stack of pictures of Vaughn in various stages of growing up. She gasped in surprise and awe that Elise would willingly part with all of those memories so she could have them. "Oh my gosh," she whispered as she began to look through all the photographs.
"What is it?" Vaughn asked.
"Blackmail material," she grinned when she came across a picture of him running naked around the house as a toddler.
"Oh god, not pictures of me," he groaned.
"A *ton* of pictures of you. I'm loving your mom a ridiculous amount right now, Vaughn."
"I'm glad someone is," he muttered. "I'll have to have a little chat with her tomorrow."
"No, don't you dare! I can't believe she did something so sweet. Wow," she said under her breath as she found one picture of him playing flag football without a shirt on. It looked to have been taken while he was in law school, judging by the Georgetown Law t-shirts being worn by some of the other players. "Your mom is my new hero."
"I'll be sure to tell her you said so," he smiled. "Okay, I know you're enthralled by those awful pictures right now, but there's something else in there for you. Something from me," he added.
"Okay, okay," she smiled as she reluctantly set the pictures down and went back to looking through her suitcase. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw green fabric peeking out from between two pairs of jeans. She reached down and grasped the soft material in her hands, fingering the edge of one sleeve before pulling on it. "Vaughn, you didn't," she murmured.
"I did. I wanted you to have it."
She looked down at the green Dartmouth Hockey sweatshirt in her lap and smiled. She brought it up to her nose and realized that it smelled just like he did every morning when he returned from walking Donovan. "But it's your favorite," she protested.
"All the more reason for you to have it. Now you have something of mine there with you, and after the winters in New Hampshire, I can promise that it will keep you warm at night," he smiled.
"Vaughn, you're amazing. It would take a plastic surgeon to remove the smile from my face right now," she said with a happy sigh. "Thank you. I promise I'll take good care of it until I can give it back to you."
"I may not want it back, Syd. I'm going to have some really nice dreams tonight, imagining how it looks on you."
"You have to come home soon so you can see for yourself," she said softly. "I love you, Vaughn."
"I love you too, beautiful."
*****
Sydney had an extra bounce in her step the next morning as she walked down a hall in the ops center. She and Vaughn had stayed up talking to each other until 10:30, when she'd finally forced him to hang up and go to sleep. A short while later, she herself had fallen into bed, exhausted, but happy. The effect he had on her was amazing, and she knew that anyone who had seen her just two weeks ago would barely recognize a smiling, happy Sydney Bristow. Sylvia had said as much to her at the end of their briefing a few minutes earlier. As she passes dour CIA agent after dour CIA agent, she knew that for the sake of professionalism, she should wipe the silly grin off of her face, but she couldn't bring herself to actually do it.
"I see someone had a good time last week," she heard a voice from behind her say.
"Weiss!" she beamed, giving him a big hug when she turned around. "How are you?"
"I'm good, but not as great as you, apparently," he smiled. "You're practically floating down the hallway, Sydney."
"I know," she said as they fell in step together. "I guess a little time off can do that for a girl."
"Yeah, that and a lot of sex," he smirked. "How's Mike? Tired, I presume."
"Very," she giggled as she playfully elbowed him in the ribs. "Vaughn is wonderful. He said to tell you hi, even though I know you guys talk almost every day."
"I'm surprised he could still remember my name after you got done with him. Actually, I'm surprised he could still remember his *own* name."
Sydney rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Okay, Weiss, we're officially done talking about my sex life now," she smiled.
"Sorry, sorry. I'm just living vicariously through the two of you right now, that's all."
"Then we're gonna have to find you a girl, aren't we?"
"Uh, no. First of all, present company excluded, I don't trust Mike's taste. And besides, I don't want *a* girl, I want lots of them."
"Pig," Sydney teased as they entered the rotunda and saw Jack waiting for her.
"Oink, oink," Weiss laughingly replied. "Hey, I'll catch up with you later, okay?"
"Alright. Bye Eric," she smiled as he scrambled away. "Hi Dad." She impulsively gave him a quick hug and smiled when he actually returned it in full view of all the agents around them. "If you're not careful, people are going to start thinking you're going soft, Dad," she said in a low voice.
"Then I'll have to show them otherwise," he deadpanned. "You look . . . spirited. I take it that your visit with Vaughn went well."
"It did, despite your objections," she smiled.
"I was merely concerned for your safety, Sydney. I certainly hope that the two of you were careful about being seen together."
Sydney sighed. "We were. We didn't go anywhere together where there were lots of other people around." She glanced away from him and bit her lip, bracing herself for the reaction that was sure to follow her next statement. "But, um, you should probably know that I met his mother."
"You what?! Sydney, did you and Vaughn lose your minds? No one can know that the two of you are seeing each other. I'm sure it was a very romantic gesture on Vaughn's part to introduce you to his mother, but he should have been smarter," Jack blustered. He couldn't believe that Vaughn would do something so foolish.
"Whoa, Dad, calm down. First of all," she said, dropping her voice to a hushed whisper, "Vaughn did *not* introduce me to his mother. I mean, he did, but it didn't happen the way that you think. When I got to Virginia, I broke into his townhouse because I was intending to surprise him. When he came home, he just happened to be with his mother, and of course, he had to explain to her who I was and what I was doing in his house."
"You broke into his townhouse?" Jack asked incredulously.
"Yes," Sydney nodded, "and I met his mother, and it wasn't his fault, so please don't blame him for that," she pleaded.
The disapproving look on Jack's face slowly dissolved as he considered her words. "So what was Mrs. Vaughn like?" he asked curiously.
"She was . . . she was lovely," Sydney said softly. "She's beautiful and formidable, but very warm and unassuming at the same time. She and Vaughn just have the most amazing relationship, and she was so nice to me. She treated me like I was already part of her family, even after I told her the truth about Mom."
"Sydney, you didn't," Jack said with a pinched look on his face.
"I had to, Dad. I went to dinner at her house, and I saw pictures of her and Vaughn and his father, and they were this beautiful, happy family until Mom took that away from them. Elise was being so sweet to me, and I just felt like a total fraud, knowing that she'd probably feel differently about me if she knew the truth. So I had to tell her. It was hanging over my relationship with Vaughn like a black cloud, and I didn't want it to be. I've had enough lies in my life, and I don't want there to be any in my relationship with him or his mother," she said quietly.
"How did she take it?"
"Better than I imagined, better than I had a right to expect. She basically told me that she didn't hold Mom's actions against me, and that it wasn't my fault."
"Well, she was right. You're not your mother, Sydney."
"I know, but I didn't expect her to be so understanding, considering what Mom did to her family. It was hard not to feel guilty when it was so obvious how much both Vaughn and Elise still miss William."
"And just think -- there are eleven other families that feel the same way. Eleven other families that were torn apart by that woman," he said bitterly.
"I know. Dad, do you know why mom did what she did? I mean, I know she was under orders, but why?"
"Does it matter?" Jack snapped. "Can her reasons ever absolve her of her guilt?"
"No, I guess not. It's just that I find myself wondering all the time how she could do the things that she did. I mean, even if I was under orders, I could never be an assassin for the CIA."
"Well, I guess that's another thing that separates you from your mother," Jack said, making it clear that he no longer wished to talk about Irina. "Did Vaughn say anything about how the planning for the Alliance takedown is going?"
"Just that it was going well," Sydney shrugged as she looked down at the floor. "I didn't really ask a lot of questions. I'm not sure that I really want to know the details," she admitted.
"Why not?" Jack asked with a perplexed expression. "I know that there are things that Vaughn can't tell you, but why wouldn't you want to know everything that he could tell you?"
"I don't know . . . just because," she said evasively.
"Because what?"
"Because . . . Look, I haven't told Vaughn this, because I don't want to upset him, but I can't help but feel like something is going to happen that's going to ruin everything. I know that it's terribly pessimistic of me, but considering everything that's happened in the past two years, I can't help it. I just feel like the minute I'm close to experiencing true happiness again, something's going come along and snatch it away from me. And if that happens, I'm going to be devastated, so I guess I'm just bracing myself for the impact now, while I still can."
Jack looked at Sydney and suddenly felt all the weight of his failures as a father come crashing down on his shoulders. It pained him to know that she was so entrenched in this life that she was almost afraid to hope for something better even though she wanted it desperately. She was in love and she had her whole life ahead of her and he prayed that she wouldn't lose sight of that. He didn't want her to turn into him, and he hoped that her relationship with Vaughn would save her from that fate.
"Sydney, you can't let yourself feel that way. You won't be stuck in this life forever. I won't let that happen, and neither will Vaughn. Neither should you," he added pointedly.
"I know," she sighed. How had she gone from being so happy a few minutes ago to being so apprehensive all of a sudden? She hated what she'd just admitted to her father, especially after the incredible time she'd just spent with Vaughn, but she couldn't deny that she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And when she remembered the almost desperate way he'd clung to her after making love to her the other night, she knew that he was sharing her anxiety, and that made her feel even more unsettled. She tried to force those thoughts out of her mind, however, as she saw the stricken look on Jack's face. She didn't want him to worry about her any more than he already did.
"Anyway," she said breezily, "I'm sure all the planning is going well. Vaughn thinks the takedown is going to happen around the last week of June."
"That soon?"
"It doesn't seem soon enough," she sighed. Now that she and Vaughn were on opposite ends of the country again, the end of June seemed further away than ever.
"Well, you'll be a free woman before you know it," Jack smiled, though the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Have you given any thought to what you're going to do when it's over?"
*Other than Vaughn?* she thought with amusement. Somehow, she didn't think now was a good time to tell her dad about her vacation plans.
"I haven't given it much thought yet," she said noncommittally, "but I'll figure it out eventually. Whatever I decide, I'm sure I'll want to get your opinion first," she smiled.
This time, the smile that Jack gave her was genuine. "I'm glad to hear that, honey, though I'm sure mine won't be the first opinion you seek."
She blushed and looked down at the floor. "No, probably not, but that doesn't mean that I won't want to hear what you have to say."
"Good. Listen, I have to go, I have a briefing with Kendall, but I'll see you later, I'm sure. I'm glad you're back home, and I'm glad that you had a nice time with Vaughn." He gave her a brief pat on the shoulder before he walked away.
Sydney turned and watched as he exited the rotunda, still trying to get used to his seeming acceptance of her relationship with Vaughn. It wasn't that she wasn't thrilled about it, but she still wondered every now and then if her father had been replaced by a kinder, gentler doppelganger. It hadn't been that long ago that he was lecturing her about their inappropriate emotional attachment to each other. She smiled and shook her head as she turned to walk to her desk, but stopped mid-stride when she passed one of the security monitors and caught a glimpse of her mother on the roof of the building. She slowly turned back around in the opposite direction and headed for the roof. She knew it was finally time to have the conversation that she had been dreading for the last few days.
TBC . . .
After turning off the television in the living room, Vaughn trudged upstairs and entered his bedroom without bothering to turn on the lights. He flopped down onto the bed with a heavy sigh and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before reaching out and pulling one of the pillows to him. It was the same pillow Sydney had used during her stay, and as he inhaled deeply, he realized that it still smelled like her. He held it closer and wrapped his arms around it, burying his face into it and closing his eyes. She'd only been gone for eight hours, and already, he missed her desperately. The past week hadn't been the first time that they'd spent time alone with each other, but it was the first time that he'd gotten a taste of what it would be like to completely share his life with her and he hadn't been at all prepared for how empty he'd feel once it was over.
He had to admit that he had been completely spoiled by having Sydney there for the last nine days. Coming home to her every day after work had been like a dream come true, and he could barely believe how good it felt just to hold her when he got inside the door. For anyone else, sharing the details of his day with her over dinner might not have been a big deal, but it had meant the world to him. He had reveled all the normal, everyday things that most couples take for granted -- going for jogs, brushing their teeth at the same time, watching television together -- and he knew that she had enjoyed it too. She was so amazing at what she did that he couldn't imagine her ever settling for a boring 9 to 5 job, but he knew that there was a part of her that longed for normalcy and domesticity, and when he was with her, he wanted those same things too.
He knew that normalcy and domesticity were the last things awaiting her back in L.A., however. Instead, she'd be going back to her isolated, shadowy double life, and it pained him knowing that he wouldn't be there to give her the emotional support she needed to deal with that life. Worse than that, he felt a physically ache knowing that he wouldn't be able to see or touch her for the next three months. After having her all to himself for more than a week, the void in his life now that she was gone seemed impossible to fill, and it almost scared him to realize how much he needed her and what a huge part of his life she had become.
He let out another loud sigh and was momentarily startled when he felt a vibrating sensation in his pants. He reached into his pocket to pull out his cellphone and answered it without looking at the caller ID.
"Vaughn here."
"Bristow, here," he heard a teasing voice reply.
"Syd?"
"No, Jack," she laughed. "Of course it's me. I know you said that I didn't have to, but I just wanted to let you know that I got home safely."
"I'm so glad that you did call. I've been watching CNN for the last six hours, praying not to hear about any plane crashes or shootings at LAX," he laughed. "Everything's okay?" he asked, closing his eyes again and letting the sound of her voice wash over him.
"Yeah, everything's fine except that I miss you already. What did you do to me?"
"You were there. Surely you haven't forgotten already." His low, seductive voice sent a tingle down her spine and heat racing through her body.
"I don't mean physically," she smiled as she sat down on the floor next to her bed. "I just . . . I never thought that I'd ever meet someone that I wanted to be with *all* the time, like every minute of the day. It makes me nervous," she admitted. "I just never pictured myself as the kind of needy woman who couldn't stand to be away from her boyfriend. I'm not turning into that woman, am I?" she asked with genuine concern.
"Of course not. 'Needy' is the last word I'd ever use to describe you, Syd. Besides, it's not just you. I'm currently laying on my bed, curled up with your pillow because it still smells like you. If that's not pathetic, I don't know what is," he said wryly.
"Aw, I think it's sweet, and at least you have something there to remind you of me. I don't have anything of yours here," she sighed. She glanced down at the diamond pendant around her neck and realized that she did have a small piece of him with her, but she wanted so much more.
"You have my heart," he offered. "You took it back to L.A. with you"
"I know," she said with a soft smile. "But that's not going to keep me warm at night. At least you have Donovan to curl up with."
"Lucky me," he laughed. "Syd, after sleeping next to you for the last week, Donovan is a very poor substitute, believe me. I'd do anything to have you back here with me right now."
"And I'd do anything to be back." She glanced at her clock and noticed that it was almost 9:00, which meant that it was nearing midnight on the east coast. "Vaughn, aren't you tired? If you need to go to sleep, I'll understand."
"No. I don't know when I'm going to get the chance to talk to you again, and I'm not ready to say goodbye yet."
His words sent a thrill through her, but she was trying her damnedest to be unselfish and practical. "I know, but it might not be very smart for us to stay on the phone for too long."
"I don't care," he said stubbornly. Besides, our phones are encrypted. We're fine."
"You don't care? Okay, who are you, and what have you done with the ultra-protective, ultra-cautious Michael Vaughn that I know?" she teased.
"He's still here, he's just bound and gagged in the closet. I'm his smarter, sexier twin."
"Smarter, maybe, but sexier? I don't think that's possible." She didn't think it was legal, either, as she remembered some of the things he'd done to her while she was with him. Then again, she had put her own skills to good use as well. Maybe they could share a cell together, she thought with a giggle.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing," she stammered when she realized that he'd caught her laughing outloud.
"You're lying," Vaughn grinned. He could almost picture the sheepish smile on her face right now. "What were you thinking about?"
"I was just thinking about some of our, uh, activities last week. I'm pretty sure some of them might be illegal in some of your more backwoods jurisdictions."
"Well, lock me up and throw away the key, Officer Bristow. I'm willing to do the time."
"God knows you were more than willing to do the crime," she laughed. "I never would have guessed that you had that in you when we first started working together. You were so 'Dudley Do-Right' when we first met."
"Dudley Do-Right? You're joking, right?"
"Nope," she grinned. "You were Mr. By-the-Book and you know it."
"Yeah? Well, I thought you were totally frigid when we first met. No, actually, I take that back," he laughed. "When we first met, I thought you were crazy. The second time we met in the bloodmobile, I thought you were a huge brat. I didn't actually think you were frigid until you turned down my offer for a Slush-O at the convenience store."
"Of course I was frigid after standing in front of that cooler for so long!" she laughed. "And I'm sorry that I turned down your precious Slush-O. I know how much you love them and I -- wait, you thought I was a brat?" she asked suddenly.
"You were! 'Do I look like I'm wearing headgear?'" he mocked.
She blushed, remembering what a huge fool she'd made of herself that day. "God, I can't believe you remember that conversation," she cringed.
"I remember every word you've ever said to me, Syd. It was my job," he said lightly.
"Yeah, but you didn't do it because it was your job," she said softly.
"You're right. I did it mostly in hopes of getting you into bed one day."
"Vaughn!" she said with a mock indignation.
"It worked, didn't it?" he laughed.
"Too well, apparently. I should have known that you had an ulterior motive for being so sweet, not that you needed one."
"I know, right? I swear, the minute you got me alone in Lake Tahoe, you were all over me," he smirked.
"*I* was all over *you*? Actually, I kind of was, wasn't I?" she said, after thinking about it for a moment. "Well, I couldn't help it. I wanted you, and I had already waited too long to tell you, and you were too busy being a gentleman to make the first move, so I had to."
"I'm just glad that you did. I honestly can't remember what my life was like before that night. I don't ever want to have to remember," he said earnestly.
"You say that now," she teased, "but spend a few more years with me, Vaughn, and you might end up begging to go back to life Before Sydney."
"Not a chance. I already told you, you're stuck with me, Bristow."
"Then I guess it's a good thing that I like you and want to keep you around, isn't it?"
"Definitely a good thing," Vaughn grinned as he kicked off his shoes and got more comfortable on the bed. "Definitely. Hey, you haven't unpacked yet, have you?"
"Vaughn, please," she scoffed. "You know me better than that. You just watched me spend the last nine days living out of my suitcase."
"You're hopeless, Sydney," he shook his head. When we go to the Maldives, I'm going to force you to unpack."
"Why? So I can be all neat and orderly like you?" she teased.
"It wouldn't hurt. When we were in Tahoe, you told me that you grew accustomed to living out of your suitcase because all your SD-6 missions were so short, right?"
"Yes," she smiled. God, he really did remember every conversation they'd ever had.
"Well, unpacking while we're on vacation will be like a symbolic start to your new, post-SD-6 life, don't you think? Actually, that's just an excuse. I just really want to see your clothes hanging next to mine in the closet," he admitted. "That'll just make everything seem more real somehow."
Just the thought of that gave Sydney butterflies, and she wondered how something so mundane and insignificant could excite her so much. "Okay, then. When we get settled in our room, I'll let you instruct me on the fine art of unpacking."
"I can't wait. Do you want a few pointers now?"
"No!" she laughed. "I am *not* unpacking right now. I'm way too tired for that."
"But I think you should."
"Why?" she asked suspiciously.
"Because I'm missing a few things from here and I think they might've ended up in your suitcase." She could hear the smile in his voice and it made her whole body tingle with excitement.
"Vaughn, what did you do?"
"Do?" he asked, feigning ignorance. "I didn't do anything."
"Right," she said disbelievingly as she quickly unzipped her suitcase. As soon as she opened it, she found a square, cream-colored envelope laying on top of her clothes. She picked it up and ran her fingers across the fancy, textured surface, and when she turned it over, she noticed fancy gold lettering in one corner that said. "EV." "What's in the envelope?" she asked, hoping for a hint.
"Actually, I don't know. My mom's responsible for that. She asked me to sneak it in with your things, and made me swear not to open it."
"You've got to love a man who keeps his promises to his mother," she laughed as she carefully opened the envelope. The first thing she removed was a handwritten note on matching stationary: "Sydney, I thought you might like to have these. - Elise."
Sydney picked the envelope up from her lap and reached inside, pulling out a rectangular object wrapped in tissue paper. When she unwrapped the paper, she found a stack of pictures of Vaughn in various stages of growing up. She gasped in surprise and awe that Elise would willingly part with all of those memories so she could have them. "Oh my gosh," she whispered as she began to look through all the photographs.
"What is it?" Vaughn asked.
"Blackmail material," she grinned when she came across a picture of him running naked around the house as a toddler.
"Oh god, not pictures of me," he groaned.
"A *ton* of pictures of you. I'm loving your mom a ridiculous amount right now, Vaughn."
"I'm glad someone is," he muttered. "I'll have to have a little chat with her tomorrow."
"No, don't you dare! I can't believe she did something so sweet. Wow," she said under her breath as she found one picture of him playing flag football without a shirt on. It looked to have been taken while he was in law school, judging by the Georgetown Law t-shirts being worn by some of the other players. "Your mom is my new hero."
"I'll be sure to tell her you said so," he smiled. "Okay, I know you're enthralled by those awful pictures right now, but there's something else in there for you. Something from me," he added.
"Okay, okay," she smiled as she reluctantly set the pictures down and went back to looking through her suitcase. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw green fabric peeking out from between two pairs of jeans. She reached down and grasped the soft material in her hands, fingering the edge of one sleeve before pulling on it. "Vaughn, you didn't," she murmured.
"I did. I wanted you to have it."
She looked down at the green Dartmouth Hockey sweatshirt in her lap and smiled. She brought it up to her nose and realized that it smelled just like he did every morning when he returned from walking Donovan. "But it's your favorite," she protested.
"All the more reason for you to have it. Now you have something of mine there with you, and after the winters in New Hampshire, I can promise that it will keep you warm at night," he smiled.
"Vaughn, you're amazing. It would take a plastic surgeon to remove the smile from my face right now," she said with a happy sigh. "Thank you. I promise I'll take good care of it until I can give it back to you."
"I may not want it back, Syd. I'm going to have some really nice dreams tonight, imagining how it looks on you."
"You have to come home soon so you can see for yourself," she said softly. "I love you, Vaughn."
"I love you too, beautiful."
*****
Sydney had an extra bounce in her step the next morning as she walked down a hall in the ops center. She and Vaughn had stayed up talking to each other until 10:30, when she'd finally forced him to hang up and go to sleep. A short while later, she herself had fallen into bed, exhausted, but happy. The effect he had on her was amazing, and she knew that anyone who had seen her just two weeks ago would barely recognize a smiling, happy Sydney Bristow. Sylvia had said as much to her at the end of their briefing a few minutes earlier. As she passes dour CIA agent after dour CIA agent, she knew that for the sake of professionalism, she should wipe the silly grin off of her face, but she couldn't bring herself to actually do it.
"I see someone had a good time last week," she heard a voice from behind her say.
"Weiss!" she beamed, giving him a big hug when she turned around. "How are you?"
"I'm good, but not as great as you, apparently," he smiled. "You're practically floating down the hallway, Sydney."
"I know," she said as they fell in step together. "I guess a little time off can do that for a girl."
"Yeah, that and a lot of sex," he smirked. "How's Mike? Tired, I presume."
"Very," she giggled as she playfully elbowed him in the ribs. "Vaughn is wonderful. He said to tell you hi, even though I know you guys talk almost every day."
"I'm surprised he could still remember my name after you got done with him. Actually, I'm surprised he could still remember his *own* name."
Sydney rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Okay, Weiss, we're officially done talking about my sex life now," she smiled.
"Sorry, sorry. I'm just living vicariously through the two of you right now, that's all."
"Then we're gonna have to find you a girl, aren't we?"
"Uh, no. First of all, present company excluded, I don't trust Mike's taste. And besides, I don't want *a* girl, I want lots of them."
"Pig," Sydney teased as they entered the rotunda and saw Jack waiting for her.
"Oink, oink," Weiss laughingly replied. "Hey, I'll catch up with you later, okay?"
"Alright. Bye Eric," she smiled as he scrambled away. "Hi Dad." She impulsively gave him a quick hug and smiled when he actually returned it in full view of all the agents around them. "If you're not careful, people are going to start thinking you're going soft, Dad," she said in a low voice.
"Then I'll have to show them otherwise," he deadpanned. "You look . . . spirited. I take it that your visit with Vaughn went well."
"It did, despite your objections," she smiled.
"I was merely concerned for your safety, Sydney. I certainly hope that the two of you were careful about being seen together."
Sydney sighed. "We were. We didn't go anywhere together where there were lots of other people around." She glanced away from him and bit her lip, bracing herself for the reaction that was sure to follow her next statement. "But, um, you should probably know that I met his mother."
"You what?! Sydney, did you and Vaughn lose your minds? No one can know that the two of you are seeing each other. I'm sure it was a very romantic gesture on Vaughn's part to introduce you to his mother, but he should have been smarter," Jack blustered. He couldn't believe that Vaughn would do something so foolish.
"Whoa, Dad, calm down. First of all," she said, dropping her voice to a hushed whisper, "Vaughn did *not* introduce me to his mother. I mean, he did, but it didn't happen the way that you think. When I got to Virginia, I broke into his townhouse because I was intending to surprise him. When he came home, he just happened to be with his mother, and of course, he had to explain to her who I was and what I was doing in his house."
"You broke into his townhouse?" Jack asked incredulously.
"Yes," Sydney nodded, "and I met his mother, and it wasn't his fault, so please don't blame him for that," she pleaded.
The disapproving look on Jack's face slowly dissolved as he considered her words. "So what was Mrs. Vaughn like?" he asked curiously.
"She was . . . she was lovely," Sydney said softly. "She's beautiful and formidable, but very warm and unassuming at the same time. She and Vaughn just have the most amazing relationship, and she was so nice to me. She treated me like I was already part of her family, even after I told her the truth about Mom."
"Sydney, you didn't," Jack said with a pinched look on his face.
"I had to, Dad. I went to dinner at her house, and I saw pictures of her and Vaughn and his father, and they were this beautiful, happy family until Mom took that away from them. Elise was being so sweet to me, and I just felt like a total fraud, knowing that she'd probably feel differently about me if she knew the truth. So I had to tell her. It was hanging over my relationship with Vaughn like a black cloud, and I didn't want it to be. I've had enough lies in my life, and I don't want there to be any in my relationship with him or his mother," she said quietly.
"How did she take it?"
"Better than I imagined, better than I had a right to expect. She basically told me that she didn't hold Mom's actions against me, and that it wasn't my fault."
"Well, she was right. You're not your mother, Sydney."
"I know, but I didn't expect her to be so understanding, considering what Mom did to her family. It was hard not to feel guilty when it was so obvious how much both Vaughn and Elise still miss William."
"And just think -- there are eleven other families that feel the same way. Eleven other families that were torn apart by that woman," he said bitterly.
"I know. Dad, do you know why mom did what she did? I mean, I know she was under orders, but why?"
"Does it matter?" Jack snapped. "Can her reasons ever absolve her of her guilt?"
"No, I guess not. It's just that I find myself wondering all the time how she could do the things that she did. I mean, even if I was under orders, I could never be an assassin for the CIA."
"Well, I guess that's another thing that separates you from your mother," Jack said, making it clear that he no longer wished to talk about Irina. "Did Vaughn say anything about how the planning for the Alliance takedown is going?"
"Just that it was going well," Sydney shrugged as she looked down at the floor. "I didn't really ask a lot of questions. I'm not sure that I really want to know the details," she admitted.
"Why not?" Jack asked with a perplexed expression. "I know that there are things that Vaughn can't tell you, but why wouldn't you want to know everything that he could tell you?"
"I don't know . . . just because," she said evasively.
"Because what?"
"Because . . . Look, I haven't told Vaughn this, because I don't want to upset him, but I can't help but feel like something is going to happen that's going to ruin everything. I know that it's terribly pessimistic of me, but considering everything that's happened in the past two years, I can't help it. I just feel like the minute I'm close to experiencing true happiness again, something's going come along and snatch it away from me. And if that happens, I'm going to be devastated, so I guess I'm just bracing myself for the impact now, while I still can."
Jack looked at Sydney and suddenly felt all the weight of his failures as a father come crashing down on his shoulders. It pained him to know that she was so entrenched in this life that she was almost afraid to hope for something better even though she wanted it desperately. She was in love and she had her whole life ahead of her and he prayed that she wouldn't lose sight of that. He didn't want her to turn into him, and he hoped that her relationship with Vaughn would save her from that fate.
"Sydney, you can't let yourself feel that way. You won't be stuck in this life forever. I won't let that happen, and neither will Vaughn. Neither should you," he added pointedly.
"I know," she sighed. How had she gone from being so happy a few minutes ago to being so apprehensive all of a sudden? She hated what she'd just admitted to her father, especially after the incredible time she'd just spent with Vaughn, but she couldn't deny that she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And when she remembered the almost desperate way he'd clung to her after making love to her the other night, she knew that he was sharing her anxiety, and that made her feel even more unsettled. She tried to force those thoughts out of her mind, however, as she saw the stricken look on Jack's face. She didn't want him to worry about her any more than he already did.
"Anyway," she said breezily, "I'm sure all the planning is going well. Vaughn thinks the takedown is going to happen around the last week of June."
"That soon?"
"It doesn't seem soon enough," she sighed. Now that she and Vaughn were on opposite ends of the country again, the end of June seemed further away than ever.
"Well, you'll be a free woman before you know it," Jack smiled, though the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Have you given any thought to what you're going to do when it's over?"
*Other than Vaughn?* she thought with amusement. Somehow, she didn't think now was a good time to tell her dad about her vacation plans.
"I haven't given it much thought yet," she said noncommittally, "but I'll figure it out eventually. Whatever I decide, I'm sure I'll want to get your opinion first," she smiled.
This time, the smile that Jack gave her was genuine. "I'm glad to hear that, honey, though I'm sure mine won't be the first opinion you seek."
She blushed and looked down at the floor. "No, probably not, but that doesn't mean that I won't want to hear what you have to say."
"Good. Listen, I have to go, I have a briefing with Kendall, but I'll see you later, I'm sure. I'm glad you're back home, and I'm glad that you had a nice time with Vaughn." He gave her a brief pat on the shoulder before he walked away.
Sydney turned and watched as he exited the rotunda, still trying to get used to his seeming acceptance of her relationship with Vaughn. It wasn't that she wasn't thrilled about it, but she still wondered every now and then if her father had been replaced by a kinder, gentler doppelganger. It hadn't been that long ago that he was lecturing her about their inappropriate emotional attachment to each other. She smiled and shook her head as she turned to walk to her desk, but stopped mid-stride when she passed one of the security monitors and caught a glimpse of her mother on the roof of the building. She slowly turned back around in the opposite direction and headed for the roof. She knew it was finally time to have the conversation that she had been dreading for the last few days.
TBC . . .