This chapter is dedicated to the one who I let go so that their life would be better. I do not own the characters, if you hadn't already guess. Flames will be used as implements to be inserted in the most painful of bodily orifices. I am accepting submissions on my website, the links are in my bio. Also, for anyone waiting for more of A Song Unsung, it will not be put back here on FFN. You can find it at ForeverFandom.net, AFF and my site; all links are in my bio.

I can't hide the way I feel

About you

Anymore

            I closed my eyes as I sat on the ground. It was strange sitting there and I knew full well that there were many who would have laughed if they could see the mighty Malfoy sitting outside on the damp ground instead of going inside where it was warm and dry, my soon to be ex wife one of them. I feel like I belong here and have ever since that time a few short months ago when I am certain that whatever spirit Harry had left behind kissed me, a balm to my wounded my soul. In the weeks following that incident, I became more reclusive. I travelled here almost daily just to touch his soul. When I stand on the last spot that Harry ever did I feel close to him, and I know that he can feel me. He once said that love was stronger than death, and I pray that he's right. That whatever peace he is in now, he also knows I love him.

            I don't think I could stand it if Harry was a ghost, condemned to a life of not quite death. He was far too brave for that, too noble to endure such a fate for the rest of eternity. I knew perhaps better than anyone else how much he looked forward to and welcomed death when it came; he likely greeted it with open arms like a lover.  In death, he did no longer have to suffer the hatred and resentment directed at him by those who had lost family.

            I do my job every day, I see my son, I am an upstanding member of society who has confused and baffled everyone by my resistance in taking a new lover in the wake of my separation. To everyone I appear perfectly normal.

            If they only knew, I spend almost every waking moment at a gravesite.

            Weasley knows and keeps my dark secret. In return, I have made certain that his financial problems vanish.

            I know I have to get on with my life at some point, but I can't let go yet, I can't just condemn Harry to an eternity where I don't give him everything he silently gave me in life. If he only knew just how tired I was of pretending that I didn't love him.

            Granger once told me that when the living think of the dead, the dead could hear those thoughts.

            "Potter," I say aloud, hoping I can get the words out. "I know I said I would wait forever for you and that I would love no other but you, and I stand by that.

            "You are dead and have been for a year and a half now. You died in autumn; it is now coming onto spring. A time of rebirth and renewal. A time of fresh beginnings.

            "You understand, don't you Potter?" I pause, my voice breaking. "I will always love you and I will always mourn you, but I cannot wallow in this agony any longer. Life still goes on, I still pay my taxes," I shake my head. "I have come today to say goodbye to you. I love you, I will always love you and I will return on the anniversary of the day that you left me with your dark secret.

            "Rest in peace Harry," I say softly. "I hope that you are happy, at last."

            I wipe a tear from my eye as I Apparate away, leaving a marker behind as my tribute to the Man Who Died.

            I watch Malfoy lay something on the death site of my cub. I could have shown myself to him, but what's the point? I am more animal now than man, not caring enough to talk to humans. I run with other werewolves, but I am always the outcast of the pack. I had a pack and lost it and as such, they will never fully let me in. I live here near where Harry died and I have seen Malfoy almost every day for the last six months.

            I know he loves Harry; I would know it even if I couldn't smell the emotion. Not many people know that love does have a scent to it, sweet and sharp at the same time, dark and light…if you have been around soul mates you might have caught a whiff of it on the wind. No, I have known for some time of the love the two of them had however, I chose not to acknowledge it. As Harry did, I pretended it didn't exist, for what good would it have done in the end?

            Harry had to die to save us. That is the final decision. I drift through endless days of bleakness, missing him more than anyone will ever know. I thought I was going to die when I lost James and Lily, and then Sirius. No matter what I always had Harry and the loss of him was the final breaking of my heart.

            If I could go back in time for just a moment I would refuse to teach Harry that spell that had killed him. A life at war was better than a life without Harry.

            Most people nowadays don't even think of him. He served his purpose. Dead martyrs are so much more effective to rally people than live ones.

            My poor cub. He deserved better than to be blown across the countryside. He deserved more than a cordoned off death site. He deserved more than a handful of genuine mourners, the rest are tourists who want to take pictures and have picnics on the area where the war ended. I want to bite these people.

            Malfoy is going to move on with his life, as am I. Like Malfoy I have come here one last time to say goodbye. My new pack is moving north and I go with them.

            "My son," I say softly from the cover of the trees. "I am not abandoning you, and I will see you when I die. I miss you, I miss your wit, your sarcasm. I miss everything about you every minute of every day and don't think for a moment that even though I am gone I will stop thinking of you. I carry you with me everywhere, and I always will. I have to get away from here Harry for the memories are too painful. I have lost everyone who has ever meant anything to me.

            "I know you and I know you wouldn't want me to mourn your death in this way. So I will celebrate your life and when I howl to the moon I howl with your voice too." I pause. "Goodbye son."

            I walk to the gravesite, not wanting to Apparate, finding it disrespectful. It has been a year and a half since the death of my brother and I come to bid him the most final of farewells. I am leaving Britain altogether to seek out a new life, to perhaps find some happiness somewhere and escape the heavy pain that lingers in my heart. I close my eyes at night and I can still see Harry's face, hear his laugh as we did so many midnight escapades with his cloak of iniquity.

            No one can know how hard I was hit with the loss of Harry. They might say they understand, that they sympathize, but no one can ever know because not one other soul alive thought of him as their brother. Think of how you would feel if you lost the one person you could have been a twin to?

            When the Ministry offered me an overseas position I took it willingly. They see my melancholy growing daily, see me withdrawing into myself and speaking monosyllabic. I am sinking deeper into a pit of despair that I'm not sure I can ever get out and know I have to leave. I now know how Harry felt in the days leading up to his death, yet unlike him I do not have his poise in dealing with it, I do not have the brave façade.

            I see something silver on the faded 'X' that was put up to mark the Final Stand as people are calling it. Pulling it up out of the damp leaves I notice it is a figure of a dragon and phoenix entwined together, very similar to the Seven Gods mentioned in Japanese mythology. All Gods got along save the Gods of North and South, Seiriyu and Suzaku – eternal enemies, destined lovers.

            I know who put this here and it gives me comfort. He too is moving on, letting whatever spirit Harry left behind that they will always be together.

            "Harry," I say quietly, the words spilling from my lips without thought. "I came here to tell you that there is no one else who holds a candle anywhere next to you. I miss you my brother. I'm sure you know by now that I am leaving. You would tell me that I was running and you are correct. I am running from what is here. I know you haven't fully passed over, too many odd things have happened to make me think otherwise. I appreciate all that you have done for me, for I'm sure it hasn't been easy.

            "I will always love you Harry."

            There are no other words for me to say.

            I sigh as I wander through the semi-empty streets of Muggle London, heading for the Underground. Damn Lavender and her pregnant cravings and damn me for having to run out to pick up tripe and chocolate, an appalling combination but one that will soothe my wife. I know what today is, just as well as everyone else. It's been a year and a half since Harry died. A year and a half of endless days that chug by slower than the Hogwarts Express, five hundred and forty seven  days since I lost my chess partner. I wonder if he has managed to forgive me for the venomous words I threw at him the last time we really spoke. I wonder if he has found peace at last?

            I hope Lavender delivers a son. She has insisted we be surprised on the big day, yet we have not picked out any female names, and only one boy. Harry.

            He'd be godfather to my child if he were alive. Instead I've chosen Charlie who understands he is second choice and accepts in Harry's name.

            I fumble with the bag I am holding, having knocked into a person. "Sorry." I say aloud, readjusting my grip and glancing up to make sure that I haven't hurt anyone.

            I drop the bag.

            Emerald green eyes stare at me.

            A shock of unruly black hair.

            A beard covers the lower part of his face but I know. I know. It's impossible. It's a miracle…it's… "Harry?" I whisper.

            The man stares at me strangely. When he speaks it's with a heavy Scottish brogue. "Sorry I ran into ye mate. Being careless." He shrugged nonchalantly.

            "I thought you were dead Harry."

            "I don't know who you're talking about laddie." The man says as he glances at his watch. "I have to catch my train. Are you alright?"

            I nod, not even glancing at the spilled bag at my feet. I watch him dash for the train and my heart wrenches. I'd know that walk anywhere, I saw it often enough over the course of almost seven years. "Harry…"

            I feel tears in my eyes, a pain welling up in me that I haven't felt since the day I heard the news Harry had died.

            Somehow he had come back to life.

            But not back to us.

            "I understand." I murmur, realizing that it was just someone who looked remarkably like Harry, but it wasn't him. For the rest of my life it will never be him.

            And I'm ok with that.

            A year and a half. It's been a year and a half since Harry Potter died and people still mourn his death. Not as many now as there used to be, after all, life goes on. Even Draco Malfoy is moving on, the one true love of Harry.

            I watch him almost every day go to visit Harry's gravesite, I watch him sit for hours in the damp leaves on the cold ground and speak to Harry with his eyes closed. I watch his face relax as he gets those secret kisses from beyond the grave, as he gets that loving touch from a spirit that cannot leave him.

            I watch everyone who goes there: Lupin who lives as a savage outcast from a werewolf pack, Malfoy the mourning lover lost, Hermione the grieving sister. Ron is the only one who doesn't go there on a regular basis, but he does have a wife with a baby on the way so it's understandable. 

            I too mourn the loss of Harry Potter, but in a different way from everyone else, for what did I ever give him but a hard time and ridicule? All those times I contradicted him and told him he was wrong because I was too afraid to admit that he was right. We were darkness and light he and I. Only for some strange reason I was the light and he was the darkness. I was one of the few who could see that darkness in him.

            If he were alive today he might be living with Malfoy, might be happy and in love and warm and not dead.

            Harry Potter will never come back. I pause just a few paces back from where Malfoy has stopped before entering the grounds of Malfoy Manor. He gives one final lingering look in the direction of where Harry died. "My mind keeps recreating a life with you alone." He says aloud. "I will never be free of you and I promise to spend a part of every day thinking of you even if I'm not at your grave."

            I hold the charm he left at the gravesite in my hand. "Your heart belongs to me." I reply into the wind, knowing the words will carry.

            Draco closes his eyes for a moment, perhaps to savour the words and I take that opportunity to dash close to him, keeping in the shadows and press my lips to his before running into the approaching gloom

            It's the least I can do for him to ease his pain. One last time.

            I let my lips stretch in a satisfied grin. "I knew he would come." I said quietly. "I'll be waiting for your return. I expect you to bring back my necklace and a damn good reason." 

He will come back to ease my pain.

            Someday.

My tears no longer wait

My resistance ain't that strong

But my mind keeps recreating

A life with you alone

Please review and let me know what you think and if you feel more should be added. The quotes from the song are from Travis Tritt's 'Anymore.'