Chapter 29: "The Interrogation"
"Hey," Weiss exclaimed as he strolled back to his desk. "I didn't expect you to still be around when I got back from my briefing. Why are you still here?"
"I'm just trying to finish up these reports so I won't have to look at them tomorrow," Vaughn sighed.
"Geez, Mike. Now that you're back, don't feel like you have to stay late to remind us of what a hard worker you are," Weiss teased. "How about we blow this joint and go get some beers and something to eat?"
"I would love that, but I can't tonight."
"*Can't*? Why not? I know that Sydney's on her way to Italy, so what's your excuse?"
"Jack Bristow is my excuse," Vaughn frowned. "Apparently he decided that since I'm back in town, it's time for us to have a little chat."
"Seriously? Ouch. How come you didn't tell me about it sooner?"
"Because *I* didn't even find out about it until an hour ago. Donna called to give me my messages, and told me that Jack wants me to meet him at a restaurant."
"So let me get this straight -- Jack set up dinner without even asking you before hand? Damnnnn," he slowly shook his head. "You know, Mike, most of the time, I wish I had your life, but now is not one of those times."
"Gee, thanks, Eric," Vaughn replied, his voice laced with sarcasm. "I'm so glad that I can depend on you to help me see the bright side of this situation."
"Sorry, man," Weiss chuckled. "Listen, I'm sure that dinner will be fine. Jack's probably just going to give you the old 'don't hurt my daughter' speech, but you would never hurt Sydney anyway, so there's nothing to worry about."
"I wish I could be that optimistic, but we're talking about Jack Bristow. He throws out the rule book when it comes to protecting Sydney, and I'm sure he wasn't thrilled to find out that we were seeing each other -- not to mention that since I've been gone, he's had months to think about it and get even angrier. And now I get to go and try to convince him that I'm *not* putting his daughter's life at risk every time I lay eyes on her? I'm not looking forward to it," Vaughn finished as he crumpled up a piece of paper.
"That's the understatement of the year," Weiss snorted. "You look incredibly tense right now, man. In fact, I'm getting tense just looking at you."
"I *am* tense, you jackass," he laughed, throwing his balled up paper at Weiss. "There's only one person who could relieve my anxiety, and she's halfway to Italy by now."
"Yeah, that kind of sucks, but just think of all the sympathy lovin' you're gonna get when she comes home and finds out what Jack put you through," Weiss grinned.
Vaughn laughed at the silly expression on Weiss's face, enjoying the first true moment of levity he'd felt since Donna called. He shook his head and thought about Sydney as he turned back to his work, reminding himself that she was worth any amount of torture that Jack was going to inflict on him. All he had to do was keep thinking about her, and he would be able to survive his first dinner alone with his future father-in-law.
*****
"Here's your drink, Mr. Bristow"
"Thank you, Joey."
"I'll show your guest back as soon as he arrives."
"Thank you."
Jack leaned back in his chair and took a long swallow of scotch. He was glad that Sydney was out of the country, because he knew that she would have strongly objected to the way that he had sprung this surprise meeting on Vaughn. Rationally, he knew that it would have been much more polite of him to give Vaughn notice before he invited him to dinner, but he much preferred to see how the young man handled himself in an unanticipated, high-pressure situation. He knew from working with Vaughn that he was usually unflappable in a stressful situation, but he also knew that Vaughn tended to think and act emotionally than rather tactically when it came to his daughter. Any pretense of *Agent* Vaughn evaporated when Sydney was at issue.
Jack absently swirled the ice cubes around his glass and watched as the amber liquid slid over them. He had both been looking forward to and dreading this meeting ever since the day he found Sydney sitting broken and alone in the warehouse - actually, since before even then. He'd a hunch long ago that he would one day be having this conversation with Vaughn, and as usual, he turned out to be right.
He glanced around the room, remembering the day that he walked in expecting to meet his handler, and found Vaughn waiting for him instead. Although was surprised to see Vaughn rather than Kretchmer, he was already well aware of Vaughn's identity by that point. In fact, the minute he found out who had been assigned to be Sydney's handler, he set out to learn everything he could about Michael Vaughn, wanting to make sure that he was competent enough to handle her case. Thus, by the time he finally met Vaughn, he had thoroughly familiarized himself with his CIA file, and the face that he saw when he entered the private room that day was the same youthful, eager face he'd seen in the pictures in the file.
So technically, it had been more of a power play than anything else when he shoved Vaughn against the wall and pulled his gun on him. He hadn't been concerned about his safety, but he definitely wanted to intimidate Vaughn into being concerned for his *own* safety, especially since the younger agent had had the audacity to pull his file and check up on him in some misguided effort to impress Sydney.
From the beginning, however, it was clear to Jack that Vaughn didn't fear him. He was taken aback and slightly unsettled by Jack's "greeting," as he should have been, but he didn't hesitate to express his concerns about Sydney's status at the Romanian asylum, and he didn't bother to mask his anger and irritation at Jack's seeming lack of concern about her well-being. It irritated Jack to no end that Vaughn didn't have the good sense to back down from him; that was when it became apparent that Vaughn's concern for his daughter wasn't strictly professional, and when the chance presented itself, Jack couldn't resist the opportunity to call the younger agent on it.
* Taking them down is what gets her up in the morning. Or did you think it was those meetings she has with you?*
It was with slight guilt that Jack recalled the shocked look that had flashed across Vaughn's face, evidence that he'd indeed struck a nerve. He set his glass back down on the table and leaned back in his chair. He wasn't exactly sure when his words had stopped being true, but he eventually realized that somewhere along the way, Sydney had stopped being motivated by revenge, and had instead become motivated by love, love for the once person she couldn't have. Jack couldn't begin to imagine how strong her love for Vaughn truly was, but he knew that it must be all-consuming if her renewed drive and determination to put an end to SD-6 was any indication. Now, she was closer than ever to finally putting this horrible chapter of her life behind her, and Jack supposed that he owed Vaughn a debt of gratitude for providing her the motivation she needed to realize her goal.
However, at the same time that he was awed by the depth of Sydney's feelings for Vaughn, he was also more than a little afraid of them. He knew that he had no right to expect that he'd be the most important man in Sydney's life -- especially considering that he'd been an absentee father for most of it -- but it was difficult for him to accept that he was now a distant second. Well, maybe not a *distant* second, he reasoned, but he knew that if Sydney ever had to make a choice between him and the man she loved, there wouldn't be much of a contest, and he was deeply conflicted about that.
After everything that Sydney had been through in her short life, Jack desperately wanted her to be happy, wanted her to spend her life with someone that she loved, and who felt the same way about her. But knowing that she had actually found that person terrified him. He hadn't been concerned when she and Danny had gotten engaged, because he wasn't a part of her life then, and hadn't held out much hope that that would ever change. But now that he and Sydney had finally mended the rift in their relationship and forged a bond with each other, he was afraid of losing her to someone that would be more important to her than him.
Of course, he knew that every father felt that way about his daughter, but Jack Bristow was unaccustomed to experiencing these kinds of emotions, and he didn't like it one bit. He was well aware that if Sydney and Vaughn's relationship continued along its current trajectory, the two of them would eventually marry, but he couldn't bear the thought of giving her away to another man. He was pondering his reluctance to do so when the door to the room opened and Joey escorted Vaughn inside. Jack stood and nodded at the younger agent, who acknowledged him with a slight nod of his own.
"Is there anything I can get for you, sir?" Joey asked Vaughn.
"Vodka," Vaughn answered after he saw Jack's glass sitting on the table. "A double, actually."
"Yes sir. Another scotch, Mr. Bristow?"
"Please." Joey exited the room and Jack gestured to the chair across the table from m. "Please, have a seat, Agent Vaughn."
Despite the fact that he'd spent the drive over to the restaurant steeling his nerves for this encounter, Vaughn suddenly felt like the kid who'd been called into the principal's office, a fact that he desperately tried to hide from Jack. "How have you been, Jack?"
"Good, and yourself? How was Langley?" he pleasantly asked.
"Good. Langley was good, but I'm definitely glad to be back home."
"I'm sure you are," Jack nodded as Joey returned with their drinks. "I think we'll wait a while before we order, Joey."
Vaughn gave Joey a wan smile as he left the room again, and tried to ignore the fact that he was starving because he'd been too busy to eat lunch.
"I had a feeling that you didn't ask me here to introduce me to how great the food was," Vaughn wryly remarked, attempting to break the ice.
"No, I didn't," Jack acknowledged. "I thought we should talk about your relationship with my daughter. I'm sure Sydney mentioned to you that she told me about it."
"Yes, she did," Vaughn answered after clearing his throat. "She told me when she came to see me in Virginia. I'm sure that it must have been a surprise for you to find out that we'd been seeing each other for so long without your knowledge, and I'm sorry if -- "
"Actually, it came as anything *but* a shock. I've read through your file, Vaughn, and you're a good agent -- in fact, some of your undercover work before you moved to operations is quite impressive. But one thing that you've never been particularly adept at is hiding your feelings for my daughter."
"No, I suppose I haven't, but -- "
"Of course," Jack interrupted again, "I rather hoped that you'd at least have the good sense to try and hide those feelings until Sydney's work at SD-6 was completed, both for the sake of your career and her life."
Vaughn clenched his jaw and could already feel his blood pressure rising, even though he had expected the conversation to go this way. "So you think that Sydney and I are behaving foolishly by being together?"
"I didn't say that, Agent Vaughn -- "
"But you're obviously thinking it," Vaughn challenged, interrupting Jack this time. "I can't blame you for thinking that, Jack. I've had similar concerns myself, and whether you believe it or not, I never intended to pursue a relationship with Sydney while SD-6 was still active. But sometimes things happen when you least expect them to, and you're powerless to prevent them."
"So you were powerless to control yourself? Powerless to stay away from my daughter? Is that what you're saying to me, Vaughn?"
"Well, when you put it that way, of course it sounds ridiculous, but yes, I would say that I *was* powerless to stay away from Sydney." He shook his head, remembering all the longing glances that they used to share and every excruciating time that he'd wanted to kiss her but couldn't.
"Jack, I fought my feelings for Sydney for as long as I could, because I knew how dangerous it was to get involved with her. But when she showed up in Lake Tahoe, and we finally got the opportunity to spend time alone with each other, without the CIA or SD-6 watching us, it was impossible to deny those feelings any longer. I know it may not have been the smartest idea to act on those feelings, but I don't regret it, and I won't apologize for it."
"You don't regret it?" Jack sharply asked. "Vaughn, you're putting my daughter at great risk of having her status as a double agent exposed."
"Yes, I'm aware of that," Vaughn answered defensively.
"Are you? Do you have any idea of what Sloane would do to Sydney if he found out that she was romantically involved with a CIA agent? If he found out that she even *knew* a CIA agent?"
"I have a pretty good idea, Jack. You know, despite what you may think, I'm not completely naive. Sydney and I both appreciate the risk that we're taking, but we both believe that it's worth it to be together. I don't necessarily expect you to understand that, but if nothing else, you must know that I would never intentionally put Sydney in danger."
"You put her in danger every time you look at her, every time you meet her at the warehouse, every time the two of you are together," Jack countered.
"And you think that I don't know that? That I haven't thought about it more timed than I can count?" Vaughn sighed and wearily rubbed his fingers over his closed eyes, desperately trying to prevent his throbbing headache from exploding into a migraine.
"Jack, I live in perpetual fear that something might happen to Sydney, and maybe if I were a stronger man than I am, I could stay away from her until SD-6 is gone. But I'm not that strong; I *need* her, and I know that probably makes me seem weak in your eyes, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I can't live without her. I'm completely in love with your daughter, and if it became necessary to protect her, I would sacrifice my life for hers without thinking twice about it. You have to know that, Jack," he pleaded.
Jack studied the young man sitting across from him and knew without a doubt that he was being sincere, and although he himself had spent the past 22 years trying to bury similar feelings, he could still remember when he once felt the same way, when he would have gladly traded his own life for his wife's. He knew that there was nothing back then that could have kept him away from Laura, and he knew that it was equally pointless to expect Vaughn to keep his distance from Sydney -- not that he necessarily wanted that. Despite his early misgivings about Vaughn, and despite the hard time he was currently giving him, he knew that Vaughn was good for Sydney. With the exception of the first few weeks after Vaughn left for Virginia, he couldn't remember ever seeing Sydney look happier or more alive than she had in recent months, and he knew that most of that was due to her relationship with Vaughn.
"I do know that you would do anything to protect Sydney," Jack nodded, "and I'd expect nothing less of you. I'm sure I don't have to tell you what I would do to you if you ever hurt her."
Vaughn smiled wryly, easily picking up on the subtle menacing tone lurking beneath Jack's smooth voice. "No, you don't have to tell me. I'm fully aware of what you're capable of."
Jack flashed the briefest hint of a smile before adopting his serious expression once again. "As long as Sydney remains happy, I'll never have to show you first hand what I'm capable of."
"Then I definitely intend to keep her happy. I mean that, Jack. Her happiness and safety are the only things that matter to me."
"I'm glad to hear it, because those are the only things that matter to me as well." Jack took a long, appraising look at Vaughn before asking his next question. "What exactly are your intentions where my daughter is concerned?"
"My intentions?" Vaughn nervously repeated. He had already asked Sydney to marry him, so his intentions were crystal clear in his own mind. So he was at a complete loss to explain why Jack's question had made his palms begin to sweat.
"SD-6 isn't going to be an obstacle for the two of you for much longer, and surely you must have considered where your relationship with Sydney is headed, what you want to happen between the two of you once everything is over."
"Well, of course I have," Vaughn evasively replied. There were about a thousand reasons why he had no intention of revealing his true intentions to Jack right now.
"Vaughn, I know that my inquiry may seem intrusive, but Sydney has been through a lot in her life; she's had a lifetime of disappointment, some of which I've unfortunately been directly responsible for. But of all the horrible things that have happened to her, losing Danny was probably the worst of them. She was prepared to spend the rest of her life with him, and he was taken away from her in the cruelest and most violent way possible.
"I've experienced that kind of loss myself," Jack said reflectively, "and the pain of losing the person that you love, the person that you thought you would spend the rest of your life with, is . . . well, it's beyond anything I could describe. Once you've lost someone that way, it's difficult, if not impossible, to open yourself up again, to risk loving someone and losing them again. At least that's how it's been in my experience, and Sydney is more like me than either she or I may care to admit. For her to be willing to take that risk with you says a lot about how much you mean to her, and I just want to make sure that she won't end up regretting that decision."
Vaughn stared at Jack incredulously. "What are you saying? That you think that there's a risk of me breaking her heart, even though I just admitted that I would die for her if I had to? Even after I told you that I can't live without her?"
"No, of course, I'm not saying that you would do that intentionally, but things happen, Vaughn, despite our best intentions. Weren't you just telling me that earlier? Since the day that you met, you and Sydney were placed in a very unique situation, which would naturally cause the two of you to have intense feelings for each other. This kind of thing happens all the time with agents and their handlers, even when those feelings aren't romantic. When you're a double agent, your handler is the *only* person who knows any semblance of the truth about your life, the only person who can even hope to understand what you go through on a daily basis, and that creates a bond, whether you consciously try to cultivate it or not.
"All I'm saying, Vaughn, is that your relationship with my daughter has been shrouded in secrecy and danger, and sometimes that can make your feelings seem more intense than they really are. You can't tell me that you haven't relished knowing that you're the only person in Sydney's life that she can be completely truthful with. Obviously, you occupied a very unique position in her life when you were still her handler, and I just hope that the two of you haven't confused that for something more than what it is."
Vaughn was momentarily at a loss for words as he fully digested what Jack was suggesting. He wanted to be angry at Jack's insinuations, but he had asked himself the same questions during many of the sleepless nights when Sydney had been away on missions. He'd asked himself if perhaps his attraction to her was heightened merely because he was personally responsible for her success or failure as a double agent, wondered if his feelings for her were so intense simply because he liked being the only person she could confide in. But each time he considered those possibilities, he came to the same, inescapable conclusion: his love for Sydney had nothing to do with the circumstances that brought her into his life or the secretive nature of their relationship.
"Jack, I get what you're saying, because I've given it a lot of thought myself, but I'm not fooling myself into thinking that I'm in love with Sydney. I don't want to be with her because I think sneaking around is exciting, or because I like the danger and secrecy of our relationship, and I'm not going to get bored once those aspects of our relationship no longer exist. You have *no* idea how much I want to be able to go out in public with her without the fear of being found out. I want to have a real relationship with her out in the open, and I'm not going to change my mind about that once SD-6 is gone. If anything, that's the reason why I busted my ass at Langley trying to help get rid of the Alliance as soon as possible."
Vaughn took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair as he finished. "All I'm saying is that I'm not in love with Sydney because of what she does or because we work together. I would be in love with her if we met in a grocery store, or at a park, or anywhere else. I love her because of *who* she is, not what she is."
Jack nodded, but silently wondered if it was truly possible to love someone that way, thinking not of Sydney's relationship with Vaughn, but of his own relationship with Laura, or Irina, or whomever it was that he had once been married to. Thinking about her instantly made him curious about something else, however.
"How do you feel about Sydney's mother?" He carefully asked Vaughn before taking another swallow of his drink.
"What do you mean, how do I feel about Sydney's mother? I don't think I've made it a secret how I feel about Irina Derevko."
"No, but I mean, how do you feel about being in love with the daughter of the woman who murdered your father?"
"It's not an ideal situation, obviously," Vaughn sighed, "but it doesn't affect the way that I feel about Sydney, as I'm sure you can understand."
"Actually, I can't understand that. Knowing the truth about Irina has very much affected the way that I feel about Sydney. I suppose that's why I distanced myself from her for so many years, and why my current desire to protect her extends far beyond the threat posed by Arvin Sloane. It would be impossible for the way that I feel about Irina not to color my feelings for Sydney, and I have a hard time believing that it's any easier for you."
"That's a big presumption to make," Vaughn evenly replied.
"Perhaps, but that doesn't make it any less true."
Vaughn suddenly grew fascinated by the ice cubes in his glass, staring at them as if they would magically change the topic of conversation. "What can I say? I knew Sydney before I found out about Irina. I'd already gotten to see what kind of person she was, how amazing she was, and what a good heart she had. My perception of her didn't change when I found out what her mother did to my father."
"So you've never once wondered whether Sydney was capable of doing the same thing to you that Irina did to me?" Jack skeptically asked. "You've never had even the tiniest doubt that perhaps she's is capable of betraying you the way that Irina betrayed me?"
"Not even once," Vaughn averred. It was true, he'd never even considered the possibility until Jack mentioned it just now.
"That's heartwarming, Vaughn, but I never would have considered that possibility either. I was blinded by love," he said bitterly. "I was a fool and it never occurred to me that my *wife* could be using me, but men like us, men who do what we do, who know important, classified secrets can't afford to be so trusting and unassuming."
"What are you saying, Jack? Are you saying that you think Sydney is capable of the things that Irina did? Do you really believe that?" Vaughn asked incredulously.
"Relax, Vaughn," Jack said patronizingly. "Of course, I believe that Sydney is a genuinely good person. I've seen the way that she's reacted to each new crisis in her life, the lengths that she'll go to for the people that she loves, and it impresses me. Her capacity to love unconditionally is, frankly, something that she didn't inherit from me," he admitted.
"But I believe that the same capacity to love and forgive that I admire so much could one day be to her detriment. I fear that she may let herself become attached to Irina -- even more attached than she already is -- and I'm deeply concerned about the effect that it could have on her. I think that you, more than anyone, should understand that and be equally concerned."
"I get it," Vaughn rolled his eyes. "You're trying to recruit me in your campaign against Irina, aren't you?"
"I don't *have* a campaign against Irina," Jack witheringly replied. "I merely wish to control the amount of influence that she has on my daughter, and if you were smart, you would do the same thing."
"No, I wouldn't," Vaughn shook his head. "Jack, I can't control Sydney that way, and neither can you. We both know that she doesn't take it well when people tell her what to do or try to manipulate her. And even if there was something I could do, I wouldn't try to control her that way. Her relationship with Irina is actually something that I prefer not to be involved with at all."
"So you would instead sit on the sidelines and do nothing as she grows closer to that woman?" Jack harshly demanded.
"No," Vaughn said tightly. "I would instead support Sydney in whatever decision she made about the kind of relationship that she wanted to have with her mother, and I'd do it without letting it affect me personally."
"That's remarkably mature, Vaughn -- and ridiculously naive," Jack scoffed. "I admire and respect your obvious trust and love for my daughter, but don't let that blind you to the realities of her bloodlines."
"I don't believe that that's what I'm doing," Vaughn firmly replied. "I'm not letting my feelings for Sydney cloud my judgment about Irina. I couldn't do that even if I wanted to, Jack. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about the impact that she's had on my life, and it hasn't been easy dealing with her renewed presence in all of our lives. But *that* is separate from my relationship with Sydney, and I prefer to keep it that way."
"And exactly how do you expect to do that, Vaughn? What happens if you and Sydney have children one day? How do you hope to explain your twisted family trees to them?"
"I don't know," Vaughn shrugged with irritation, "but what does that have to do with my feelings for Sydney? What, should I stop loving her because it might be difficult to explain Irina to our kids one day? Do you think I should walk away from the best thing that ever happened to me just because her mother is a murdering psychopath?"
"A murdering psychopath? Is that how you see her?" Jack arched his eyebrow, pleased that he finally seemed to have uncovered Vaughn's true feelings about Irina.
"Knowing the brutal way that she murdered my father, it's hard to see her as anything else."
"You might need to deal with that before things progress any further with my daughter," Jack cautioned.
Vaughn shook his head and leaned back in his chair. "I already told you, Jack. Irina doesn't affect how I feel about Sydney."
"Maybe not, but she affects you nonetheless, and like it or not, Vaughn, no matter how much you try to fight it or ignore it, she's going to be a continued presence in your life. Speaking from personal experience, I can tell you that it may be unbearable for you. It's something that you should really consider."
"Then I'll take it under advisement," Vaughn quietly replied, wanting simply to change the subject and end the conversation about Irina, which wasn't helping to improve either his mood or his headache. A surprisingly comfortable silence hung in the air for a few moments before Jack spoke again.
"I'm sorry."
Vaughn's head snapped up in surprise. He didn't think he had ever heard Jack Bristow apologize to anyone before, and he wouldn't have even thought that Jack knew how to do such a thing.
"I should have been more sensitive to how painful it must be for you to think about Irina, to think about what she did to your father."
"I can't imagine that it's any easier for you to think about her," Vaughn acknowledged.
"It's not, but I don't have the luxury of choosing to ignore her, because I will protect my daughter from her at any cost. I was simply hoping to impress upon you the reality that you may need to do the same thing one day."
Vaughn nodded with a resigned sigh. "I know that. As much as I say that I would never interfere in Sydney's relationship with Irina, I know that it may become necessary at some point, but I just -- "
"You're afraid that it would upset Sydney, that she would resent you for it," Jack nodded understandingly. "I'm quite familiar with those fears, Vaughn, and after what I did in Madagascar, I know that it's at best, a temporary situation. Would you rather have Sydney resent you for a while, or would you rather have her be safe?"
"Safe, of course, but I also have to trust her. I have to trust her judgment and her feelings, her right to make her own decisions. And I also have to believe her when she tells me that she would never let her mother come between us."
"She told you that?" Jack asked with surprise. "And you believed her?"
"Yes. Why wouldn't I?"
"Oh, I'm not saying that you were wrong to believe her, I'm simply surprised that she would say something like that. That's good," Jack nodded. "It means that perhaps Sydney realizes that the people she already has in her life, the ones who haven't betrayed her, are more important than Irina."
Vaughn shook his head. "It doesn't necessarily mean that, Jack."
"Well, it at least means that she's cognizant of the fact that you're more worthy of her trust and loyalty than Irina is."
"Maybe," Vaughn shrugged, "but I'm not in competition with Irina, and neither are you. Sydney loves you, Jack. You should have faith in that and not feel as if you need to keep her away from Irina to ensure that she keeps loving you."
"That's easier said than done, Vaughn," Jack softly smiled. "Easier said than done. I hope that you never have to learn that first hand."
*****
Two days later, Vaughn was wrapping up a late night in his office at CIA headquarters when his concentration was broken by the sound of his door being closed and locked. As soon as he looked up to see who had entered his office, Sydney was pulling him to his feet, wrapping her arms around his neck as she passionately kissed him. Once he recovered from the unexpected assault on his lips and his senses, he pulled her into his body, kissing her with equal hunger, finding it hard to believe that he'd forgotten in the span of two days how incredible it felt to kiss her. He couldn't believe that he had survived for two days without her, much less all the weeks and months while he was in Virginia.
Sydney slid onto his desk and pulled him until he stood between her legs as their kisses alternated between languid, deep kisses and frantic, urgent ones. Their hands roamed everywhere as they touched and drew closer to each other, and it wasn't long before kissing was no longer enough for either of them and they began divesting each other of pertinent items of clothing. Sydney finally tore her lips away from Vaughn's, panting as she tried to regain her breath, but her eyes locked on Vaughn's, wordlessly communicating her need for him as their hands and fingertips softly brushed across each newly exposed patch of skin. They eschewed foreplay, however, instead giving into their overwhelming desire for one another, and they were soon making love on the desk, drowning in their passion for on another as she wrapped her legs around his waist and dragged her fingernails down his back, and he kissed a slow, torturous path down her neck to the soft skin just above the scalloped lace edges of her bra.
For the first time that either of them could remember, they were completely silent in their lovemaking, save for their soft moans and sighs of mutual pleasure. They moved in perfect unison as they surrendered to their pent-up longing for each other, and it wasn't long before they found the release that they both needed. Vaughn slowly kissed Sydney as they rode out the waves of bliss together and she lovingly ran her fingers through his hair.
"Hi," she breathlessly whispered the first word that either of them had spoken since she entered in his office.
"Hey," he smiled as he pulled himself upright and drew her unbuttoned shirt back over her shoulders. "Remind me to call security in the morning and tell them that there's a crazy woman wandering the halls at night and making love to random agents on their desks," he laughed into her ear.
"Gee, you're so funny, Vaughn," she mocked as she buttoned his shirt back up. "Did you miss me?" she flirtatiously asked.
"Eh, not really," he shrugged. "But you obviously missed me."
"Yes, I did, and unlike you, I'm not too much of a jerk to admit it," she sniffed.
He trailed his fingers along the base of her scalp, moving them up into her hair and holding her head still as he gave her another deep, searing kiss. "You know I missed you," he whispered.
"I know," she grinned. "I just wanted to hear you say it."
"I thought you were going to wait for me to order Joey's Pizza," he teased, remembering their conversation just before she left for Turin.
"I was, but they take too long to deliver, and I couldn't wait," she giggled as she scooted off of his desk and smoothed her wrinkled skirt.
He grinned back at her, amazed by the effortless way that she always made him laugh. "You're adorable," he murmured. "I love you."
"I'd probably believe you more if your pants were pulled up when you said that," she teased. He rolled his eyes, but nevertheless pulled his boxers and pants back up and tucked his shirt back in. "So what kinds of exciting things did you do while I was gone?"
"Well, I worked and watched the hockey playoffs, and had fascinating intellectual conversations with Weiss, but I have to say that the highlight of the past two days was when I had dinner with your father."
"You what?" Sydney's eyes grew wide as saucers, and she studied his expression to see if he was joking. "You really had dinner with my dad?"
"Yeah, I did."
"How could the two of you -- "
"We met at the restaurant where he and Kretchmer have their meets. It was safe," he assured her.
"Wait a minute," she said, making a face, "didn't he pull a gun on you the last time you met him there?"
"Yeah, thanks for reminding me," he said with a mock grimace. "You know, that's going to make a great story for our kids one day -- 'the first time I met your grandpa, he nearly blew my head off.'"
"Vaughn," she laughingly shook her head, "you *cannot* tell our kids that." She grew serious and cupped his cheek with her hand, softly brushing her thumb against it. "Are you okay?" she questioned.
"Well, he didn't pull a gun on me this time, if that's what you're asking."
"It's not," she shook her head. "I just . . . how bad was it?" she asked, already cringing in anticipation of his answer.
"Actually? It wasn't that bad at all," he said, smiling as she attempted to rebuckle his belt. I think your dad just wanted to make sure that he and I were clear on a few things, and we are. It could have been much more painful than it was, and it really wasn't that painful."
"Are you sure? Because, I swear, if he threatened you or said anything to you that was -- "
"Syd," he interrupted, clasping her hands in his, "it was fine, I promise. I think your dad and I actually understand each other a lot better now."
"Yeah?" she asked, still sounding unconvinced. "Did you tell him that we're -- "
"Engaged? No," he laughed. "I didn't want to press my luck. I'm pretty sure that things wouldn't have gone nearly as well if I had told him that I'm going to marry you. I think I'm going to need backup for that one."
She laughed and gave him a quick kiss. "Don't worry, you'll have it, I promise."
TBC . . .
"Hey," Weiss exclaimed as he strolled back to his desk. "I didn't expect you to still be around when I got back from my briefing. Why are you still here?"
"I'm just trying to finish up these reports so I won't have to look at them tomorrow," Vaughn sighed.
"Geez, Mike. Now that you're back, don't feel like you have to stay late to remind us of what a hard worker you are," Weiss teased. "How about we blow this joint and go get some beers and something to eat?"
"I would love that, but I can't tonight."
"*Can't*? Why not? I know that Sydney's on her way to Italy, so what's your excuse?"
"Jack Bristow is my excuse," Vaughn frowned. "Apparently he decided that since I'm back in town, it's time for us to have a little chat."
"Seriously? Ouch. How come you didn't tell me about it sooner?"
"Because *I* didn't even find out about it until an hour ago. Donna called to give me my messages, and told me that Jack wants me to meet him at a restaurant."
"So let me get this straight -- Jack set up dinner without even asking you before hand? Damnnnn," he slowly shook his head. "You know, Mike, most of the time, I wish I had your life, but now is not one of those times."
"Gee, thanks, Eric," Vaughn replied, his voice laced with sarcasm. "I'm so glad that I can depend on you to help me see the bright side of this situation."
"Sorry, man," Weiss chuckled. "Listen, I'm sure that dinner will be fine. Jack's probably just going to give you the old 'don't hurt my daughter' speech, but you would never hurt Sydney anyway, so there's nothing to worry about."
"I wish I could be that optimistic, but we're talking about Jack Bristow. He throws out the rule book when it comes to protecting Sydney, and I'm sure he wasn't thrilled to find out that we were seeing each other -- not to mention that since I've been gone, he's had months to think about it and get even angrier. And now I get to go and try to convince him that I'm *not* putting his daughter's life at risk every time I lay eyes on her? I'm not looking forward to it," Vaughn finished as he crumpled up a piece of paper.
"That's the understatement of the year," Weiss snorted. "You look incredibly tense right now, man. In fact, I'm getting tense just looking at you."
"I *am* tense, you jackass," he laughed, throwing his balled up paper at Weiss. "There's only one person who could relieve my anxiety, and she's halfway to Italy by now."
"Yeah, that kind of sucks, but just think of all the sympathy lovin' you're gonna get when she comes home and finds out what Jack put you through," Weiss grinned.
Vaughn laughed at the silly expression on Weiss's face, enjoying the first true moment of levity he'd felt since Donna called. He shook his head and thought about Sydney as he turned back to his work, reminding himself that she was worth any amount of torture that Jack was going to inflict on him. All he had to do was keep thinking about her, and he would be able to survive his first dinner alone with his future father-in-law.
*****
"Here's your drink, Mr. Bristow"
"Thank you, Joey."
"I'll show your guest back as soon as he arrives."
"Thank you."
Jack leaned back in his chair and took a long swallow of scotch. He was glad that Sydney was out of the country, because he knew that she would have strongly objected to the way that he had sprung this surprise meeting on Vaughn. Rationally, he knew that it would have been much more polite of him to give Vaughn notice before he invited him to dinner, but he much preferred to see how the young man handled himself in an unanticipated, high-pressure situation. He knew from working with Vaughn that he was usually unflappable in a stressful situation, but he also knew that Vaughn tended to think and act emotionally than rather tactically when it came to his daughter. Any pretense of *Agent* Vaughn evaporated when Sydney was at issue.
Jack absently swirled the ice cubes around his glass and watched as the amber liquid slid over them. He had both been looking forward to and dreading this meeting ever since the day he found Sydney sitting broken and alone in the warehouse - actually, since before even then. He'd a hunch long ago that he would one day be having this conversation with Vaughn, and as usual, he turned out to be right.
He glanced around the room, remembering the day that he walked in expecting to meet his handler, and found Vaughn waiting for him instead. Although was surprised to see Vaughn rather than Kretchmer, he was already well aware of Vaughn's identity by that point. In fact, the minute he found out who had been assigned to be Sydney's handler, he set out to learn everything he could about Michael Vaughn, wanting to make sure that he was competent enough to handle her case. Thus, by the time he finally met Vaughn, he had thoroughly familiarized himself with his CIA file, and the face that he saw when he entered the private room that day was the same youthful, eager face he'd seen in the pictures in the file.
So technically, it had been more of a power play than anything else when he shoved Vaughn against the wall and pulled his gun on him. He hadn't been concerned about his safety, but he definitely wanted to intimidate Vaughn into being concerned for his *own* safety, especially since the younger agent had had the audacity to pull his file and check up on him in some misguided effort to impress Sydney.
From the beginning, however, it was clear to Jack that Vaughn didn't fear him. He was taken aback and slightly unsettled by Jack's "greeting," as he should have been, but he didn't hesitate to express his concerns about Sydney's status at the Romanian asylum, and he didn't bother to mask his anger and irritation at Jack's seeming lack of concern about her well-being. It irritated Jack to no end that Vaughn didn't have the good sense to back down from him; that was when it became apparent that Vaughn's concern for his daughter wasn't strictly professional, and when the chance presented itself, Jack couldn't resist the opportunity to call the younger agent on it.
* Taking them down is what gets her up in the morning. Or did you think it was those meetings she has with you?*
It was with slight guilt that Jack recalled the shocked look that had flashed across Vaughn's face, evidence that he'd indeed struck a nerve. He set his glass back down on the table and leaned back in his chair. He wasn't exactly sure when his words had stopped being true, but he eventually realized that somewhere along the way, Sydney had stopped being motivated by revenge, and had instead become motivated by love, love for the once person she couldn't have. Jack couldn't begin to imagine how strong her love for Vaughn truly was, but he knew that it must be all-consuming if her renewed drive and determination to put an end to SD-6 was any indication. Now, she was closer than ever to finally putting this horrible chapter of her life behind her, and Jack supposed that he owed Vaughn a debt of gratitude for providing her the motivation she needed to realize her goal.
However, at the same time that he was awed by the depth of Sydney's feelings for Vaughn, he was also more than a little afraid of them. He knew that he had no right to expect that he'd be the most important man in Sydney's life -- especially considering that he'd been an absentee father for most of it -- but it was difficult for him to accept that he was now a distant second. Well, maybe not a *distant* second, he reasoned, but he knew that if Sydney ever had to make a choice between him and the man she loved, there wouldn't be much of a contest, and he was deeply conflicted about that.
After everything that Sydney had been through in her short life, Jack desperately wanted her to be happy, wanted her to spend her life with someone that she loved, and who felt the same way about her. But knowing that she had actually found that person terrified him. He hadn't been concerned when she and Danny had gotten engaged, because he wasn't a part of her life then, and hadn't held out much hope that that would ever change. But now that he and Sydney had finally mended the rift in their relationship and forged a bond with each other, he was afraid of losing her to someone that would be more important to her than him.
Of course, he knew that every father felt that way about his daughter, but Jack Bristow was unaccustomed to experiencing these kinds of emotions, and he didn't like it one bit. He was well aware that if Sydney and Vaughn's relationship continued along its current trajectory, the two of them would eventually marry, but he couldn't bear the thought of giving her away to another man. He was pondering his reluctance to do so when the door to the room opened and Joey escorted Vaughn inside. Jack stood and nodded at the younger agent, who acknowledged him with a slight nod of his own.
"Is there anything I can get for you, sir?" Joey asked Vaughn.
"Vodka," Vaughn answered after he saw Jack's glass sitting on the table. "A double, actually."
"Yes sir. Another scotch, Mr. Bristow?"
"Please." Joey exited the room and Jack gestured to the chair across the table from m. "Please, have a seat, Agent Vaughn."
Despite the fact that he'd spent the drive over to the restaurant steeling his nerves for this encounter, Vaughn suddenly felt like the kid who'd been called into the principal's office, a fact that he desperately tried to hide from Jack. "How have you been, Jack?"
"Good, and yourself? How was Langley?" he pleasantly asked.
"Good. Langley was good, but I'm definitely glad to be back home."
"I'm sure you are," Jack nodded as Joey returned with their drinks. "I think we'll wait a while before we order, Joey."
Vaughn gave Joey a wan smile as he left the room again, and tried to ignore the fact that he was starving because he'd been too busy to eat lunch.
"I had a feeling that you didn't ask me here to introduce me to how great the food was," Vaughn wryly remarked, attempting to break the ice.
"No, I didn't," Jack acknowledged. "I thought we should talk about your relationship with my daughter. I'm sure Sydney mentioned to you that she told me about it."
"Yes, she did," Vaughn answered after clearing his throat. "She told me when she came to see me in Virginia. I'm sure that it must have been a surprise for you to find out that we'd been seeing each other for so long without your knowledge, and I'm sorry if -- "
"Actually, it came as anything *but* a shock. I've read through your file, Vaughn, and you're a good agent -- in fact, some of your undercover work before you moved to operations is quite impressive. But one thing that you've never been particularly adept at is hiding your feelings for my daughter."
"No, I suppose I haven't, but -- "
"Of course," Jack interrupted again, "I rather hoped that you'd at least have the good sense to try and hide those feelings until Sydney's work at SD-6 was completed, both for the sake of your career and her life."
Vaughn clenched his jaw and could already feel his blood pressure rising, even though he had expected the conversation to go this way. "So you think that Sydney and I are behaving foolishly by being together?"
"I didn't say that, Agent Vaughn -- "
"But you're obviously thinking it," Vaughn challenged, interrupting Jack this time. "I can't blame you for thinking that, Jack. I've had similar concerns myself, and whether you believe it or not, I never intended to pursue a relationship with Sydney while SD-6 was still active. But sometimes things happen when you least expect them to, and you're powerless to prevent them."
"So you were powerless to control yourself? Powerless to stay away from my daughter? Is that what you're saying to me, Vaughn?"
"Well, when you put it that way, of course it sounds ridiculous, but yes, I would say that I *was* powerless to stay away from Sydney." He shook his head, remembering all the longing glances that they used to share and every excruciating time that he'd wanted to kiss her but couldn't.
"Jack, I fought my feelings for Sydney for as long as I could, because I knew how dangerous it was to get involved with her. But when she showed up in Lake Tahoe, and we finally got the opportunity to spend time alone with each other, without the CIA or SD-6 watching us, it was impossible to deny those feelings any longer. I know it may not have been the smartest idea to act on those feelings, but I don't regret it, and I won't apologize for it."
"You don't regret it?" Jack sharply asked. "Vaughn, you're putting my daughter at great risk of having her status as a double agent exposed."
"Yes, I'm aware of that," Vaughn answered defensively.
"Are you? Do you have any idea of what Sloane would do to Sydney if he found out that she was romantically involved with a CIA agent? If he found out that she even *knew* a CIA agent?"
"I have a pretty good idea, Jack. You know, despite what you may think, I'm not completely naive. Sydney and I both appreciate the risk that we're taking, but we both believe that it's worth it to be together. I don't necessarily expect you to understand that, but if nothing else, you must know that I would never intentionally put Sydney in danger."
"You put her in danger every time you look at her, every time you meet her at the warehouse, every time the two of you are together," Jack countered.
"And you think that I don't know that? That I haven't thought about it more timed than I can count?" Vaughn sighed and wearily rubbed his fingers over his closed eyes, desperately trying to prevent his throbbing headache from exploding into a migraine.
"Jack, I live in perpetual fear that something might happen to Sydney, and maybe if I were a stronger man than I am, I could stay away from her until SD-6 is gone. But I'm not that strong; I *need* her, and I know that probably makes me seem weak in your eyes, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I can't live without her. I'm completely in love with your daughter, and if it became necessary to protect her, I would sacrifice my life for hers without thinking twice about it. You have to know that, Jack," he pleaded.
Jack studied the young man sitting across from him and knew without a doubt that he was being sincere, and although he himself had spent the past 22 years trying to bury similar feelings, he could still remember when he once felt the same way, when he would have gladly traded his own life for his wife's. He knew that there was nothing back then that could have kept him away from Laura, and he knew that it was equally pointless to expect Vaughn to keep his distance from Sydney -- not that he necessarily wanted that. Despite his early misgivings about Vaughn, and despite the hard time he was currently giving him, he knew that Vaughn was good for Sydney. With the exception of the first few weeks after Vaughn left for Virginia, he couldn't remember ever seeing Sydney look happier or more alive than she had in recent months, and he knew that most of that was due to her relationship with Vaughn.
"I do know that you would do anything to protect Sydney," Jack nodded, "and I'd expect nothing less of you. I'm sure I don't have to tell you what I would do to you if you ever hurt her."
Vaughn smiled wryly, easily picking up on the subtle menacing tone lurking beneath Jack's smooth voice. "No, you don't have to tell me. I'm fully aware of what you're capable of."
Jack flashed the briefest hint of a smile before adopting his serious expression once again. "As long as Sydney remains happy, I'll never have to show you first hand what I'm capable of."
"Then I definitely intend to keep her happy. I mean that, Jack. Her happiness and safety are the only things that matter to me."
"I'm glad to hear it, because those are the only things that matter to me as well." Jack took a long, appraising look at Vaughn before asking his next question. "What exactly are your intentions where my daughter is concerned?"
"My intentions?" Vaughn nervously repeated. He had already asked Sydney to marry him, so his intentions were crystal clear in his own mind. So he was at a complete loss to explain why Jack's question had made his palms begin to sweat.
"SD-6 isn't going to be an obstacle for the two of you for much longer, and surely you must have considered where your relationship with Sydney is headed, what you want to happen between the two of you once everything is over."
"Well, of course I have," Vaughn evasively replied. There were about a thousand reasons why he had no intention of revealing his true intentions to Jack right now.
"Vaughn, I know that my inquiry may seem intrusive, but Sydney has been through a lot in her life; she's had a lifetime of disappointment, some of which I've unfortunately been directly responsible for. But of all the horrible things that have happened to her, losing Danny was probably the worst of them. She was prepared to spend the rest of her life with him, and he was taken away from her in the cruelest and most violent way possible.
"I've experienced that kind of loss myself," Jack said reflectively, "and the pain of losing the person that you love, the person that you thought you would spend the rest of your life with, is . . . well, it's beyond anything I could describe. Once you've lost someone that way, it's difficult, if not impossible, to open yourself up again, to risk loving someone and losing them again. At least that's how it's been in my experience, and Sydney is more like me than either she or I may care to admit. For her to be willing to take that risk with you says a lot about how much you mean to her, and I just want to make sure that she won't end up regretting that decision."
Vaughn stared at Jack incredulously. "What are you saying? That you think that there's a risk of me breaking her heart, even though I just admitted that I would die for her if I had to? Even after I told you that I can't live without her?"
"No, of course, I'm not saying that you would do that intentionally, but things happen, Vaughn, despite our best intentions. Weren't you just telling me that earlier? Since the day that you met, you and Sydney were placed in a very unique situation, which would naturally cause the two of you to have intense feelings for each other. This kind of thing happens all the time with agents and their handlers, even when those feelings aren't romantic. When you're a double agent, your handler is the *only* person who knows any semblance of the truth about your life, the only person who can even hope to understand what you go through on a daily basis, and that creates a bond, whether you consciously try to cultivate it or not.
"All I'm saying, Vaughn, is that your relationship with my daughter has been shrouded in secrecy and danger, and sometimes that can make your feelings seem more intense than they really are. You can't tell me that you haven't relished knowing that you're the only person in Sydney's life that she can be completely truthful with. Obviously, you occupied a very unique position in her life when you were still her handler, and I just hope that the two of you haven't confused that for something more than what it is."
Vaughn was momentarily at a loss for words as he fully digested what Jack was suggesting. He wanted to be angry at Jack's insinuations, but he had asked himself the same questions during many of the sleepless nights when Sydney had been away on missions. He'd asked himself if perhaps his attraction to her was heightened merely because he was personally responsible for her success or failure as a double agent, wondered if his feelings for her were so intense simply because he liked being the only person she could confide in. But each time he considered those possibilities, he came to the same, inescapable conclusion: his love for Sydney had nothing to do with the circumstances that brought her into his life or the secretive nature of their relationship.
"Jack, I get what you're saying, because I've given it a lot of thought myself, but I'm not fooling myself into thinking that I'm in love with Sydney. I don't want to be with her because I think sneaking around is exciting, or because I like the danger and secrecy of our relationship, and I'm not going to get bored once those aspects of our relationship no longer exist. You have *no* idea how much I want to be able to go out in public with her without the fear of being found out. I want to have a real relationship with her out in the open, and I'm not going to change my mind about that once SD-6 is gone. If anything, that's the reason why I busted my ass at Langley trying to help get rid of the Alliance as soon as possible."
Vaughn took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair as he finished. "All I'm saying is that I'm not in love with Sydney because of what she does or because we work together. I would be in love with her if we met in a grocery store, or at a park, or anywhere else. I love her because of *who* she is, not what she is."
Jack nodded, but silently wondered if it was truly possible to love someone that way, thinking not of Sydney's relationship with Vaughn, but of his own relationship with Laura, or Irina, or whomever it was that he had once been married to. Thinking about her instantly made him curious about something else, however.
"How do you feel about Sydney's mother?" He carefully asked Vaughn before taking another swallow of his drink.
"What do you mean, how do I feel about Sydney's mother? I don't think I've made it a secret how I feel about Irina Derevko."
"No, but I mean, how do you feel about being in love with the daughter of the woman who murdered your father?"
"It's not an ideal situation, obviously," Vaughn sighed, "but it doesn't affect the way that I feel about Sydney, as I'm sure you can understand."
"Actually, I can't understand that. Knowing the truth about Irina has very much affected the way that I feel about Sydney. I suppose that's why I distanced myself from her for so many years, and why my current desire to protect her extends far beyond the threat posed by Arvin Sloane. It would be impossible for the way that I feel about Irina not to color my feelings for Sydney, and I have a hard time believing that it's any easier for you."
"That's a big presumption to make," Vaughn evenly replied.
"Perhaps, but that doesn't make it any less true."
Vaughn suddenly grew fascinated by the ice cubes in his glass, staring at them as if they would magically change the topic of conversation. "What can I say? I knew Sydney before I found out about Irina. I'd already gotten to see what kind of person she was, how amazing she was, and what a good heart she had. My perception of her didn't change when I found out what her mother did to my father."
"So you've never once wondered whether Sydney was capable of doing the same thing to you that Irina did to me?" Jack skeptically asked. "You've never had even the tiniest doubt that perhaps she's is capable of betraying you the way that Irina betrayed me?"
"Not even once," Vaughn averred. It was true, he'd never even considered the possibility until Jack mentioned it just now.
"That's heartwarming, Vaughn, but I never would have considered that possibility either. I was blinded by love," he said bitterly. "I was a fool and it never occurred to me that my *wife* could be using me, but men like us, men who do what we do, who know important, classified secrets can't afford to be so trusting and unassuming."
"What are you saying, Jack? Are you saying that you think Sydney is capable of the things that Irina did? Do you really believe that?" Vaughn asked incredulously.
"Relax, Vaughn," Jack said patronizingly. "Of course, I believe that Sydney is a genuinely good person. I've seen the way that she's reacted to each new crisis in her life, the lengths that she'll go to for the people that she loves, and it impresses me. Her capacity to love unconditionally is, frankly, something that she didn't inherit from me," he admitted.
"But I believe that the same capacity to love and forgive that I admire so much could one day be to her detriment. I fear that she may let herself become attached to Irina -- even more attached than she already is -- and I'm deeply concerned about the effect that it could have on her. I think that you, more than anyone, should understand that and be equally concerned."
"I get it," Vaughn rolled his eyes. "You're trying to recruit me in your campaign against Irina, aren't you?"
"I don't *have* a campaign against Irina," Jack witheringly replied. "I merely wish to control the amount of influence that she has on my daughter, and if you were smart, you would do the same thing."
"No, I wouldn't," Vaughn shook his head. "Jack, I can't control Sydney that way, and neither can you. We both know that she doesn't take it well when people tell her what to do or try to manipulate her. And even if there was something I could do, I wouldn't try to control her that way. Her relationship with Irina is actually something that I prefer not to be involved with at all."
"So you would instead sit on the sidelines and do nothing as she grows closer to that woman?" Jack harshly demanded.
"No," Vaughn said tightly. "I would instead support Sydney in whatever decision she made about the kind of relationship that she wanted to have with her mother, and I'd do it without letting it affect me personally."
"That's remarkably mature, Vaughn -- and ridiculously naive," Jack scoffed. "I admire and respect your obvious trust and love for my daughter, but don't let that blind you to the realities of her bloodlines."
"I don't believe that that's what I'm doing," Vaughn firmly replied. "I'm not letting my feelings for Sydney cloud my judgment about Irina. I couldn't do that even if I wanted to, Jack. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about the impact that she's had on my life, and it hasn't been easy dealing with her renewed presence in all of our lives. But *that* is separate from my relationship with Sydney, and I prefer to keep it that way."
"And exactly how do you expect to do that, Vaughn? What happens if you and Sydney have children one day? How do you hope to explain your twisted family trees to them?"
"I don't know," Vaughn shrugged with irritation, "but what does that have to do with my feelings for Sydney? What, should I stop loving her because it might be difficult to explain Irina to our kids one day? Do you think I should walk away from the best thing that ever happened to me just because her mother is a murdering psychopath?"
"A murdering psychopath? Is that how you see her?" Jack arched his eyebrow, pleased that he finally seemed to have uncovered Vaughn's true feelings about Irina.
"Knowing the brutal way that she murdered my father, it's hard to see her as anything else."
"You might need to deal with that before things progress any further with my daughter," Jack cautioned.
Vaughn shook his head and leaned back in his chair. "I already told you, Jack. Irina doesn't affect how I feel about Sydney."
"Maybe not, but she affects you nonetheless, and like it or not, Vaughn, no matter how much you try to fight it or ignore it, she's going to be a continued presence in your life. Speaking from personal experience, I can tell you that it may be unbearable for you. It's something that you should really consider."
"Then I'll take it under advisement," Vaughn quietly replied, wanting simply to change the subject and end the conversation about Irina, which wasn't helping to improve either his mood or his headache. A surprisingly comfortable silence hung in the air for a few moments before Jack spoke again.
"I'm sorry."
Vaughn's head snapped up in surprise. He didn't think he had ever heard Jack Bristow apologize to anyone before, and he wouldn't have even thought that Jack knew how to do such a thing.
"I should have been more sensitive to how painful it must be for you to think about Irina, to think about what she did to your father."
"I can't imagine that it's any easier for you to think about her," Vaughn acknowledged.
"It's not, but I don't have the luxury of choosing to ignore her, because I will protect my daughter from her at any cost. I was simply hoping to impress upon you the reality that you may need to do the same thing one day."
Vaughn nodded with a resigned sigh. "I know that. As much as I say that I would never interfere in Sydney's relationship with Irina, I know that it may become necessary at some point, but I just -- "
"You're afraid that it would upset Sydney, that she would resent you for it," Jack nodded understandingly. "I'm quite familiar with those fears, Vaughn, and after what I did in Madagascar, I know that it's at best, a temporary situation. Would you rather have Sydney resent you for a while, or would you rather have her be safe?"
"Safe, of course, but I also have to trust her. I have to trust her judgment and her feelings, her right to make her own decisions. And I also have to believe her when she tells me that she would never let her mother come between us."
"She told you that?" Jack asked with surprise. "And you believed her?"
"Yes. Why wouldn't I?"
"Oh, I'm not saying that you were wrong to believe her, I'm simply surprised that she would say something like that. That's good," Jack nodded. "It means that perhaps Sydney realizes that the people she already has in her life, the ones who haven't betrayed her, are more important than Irina."
Vaughn shook his head. "It doesn't necessarily mean that, Jack."
"Well, it at least means that she's cognizant of the fact that you're more worthy of her trust and loyalty than Irina is."
"Maybe," Vaughn shrugged, "but I'm not in competition with Irina, and neither are you. Sydney loves you, Jack. You should have faith in that and not feel as if you need to keep her away from Irina to ensure that she keeps loving you."
"That's easier said than done, Vaughn," Jack softly smiled. "Easier said than done. I hope that you never have to learn that first hand."
*****
Two days later, Vaughn was wrapping up a late night in his office at CIA headquarters when his concentration was broken by the sound of his door being closed and locked. As soon as he looked up to see who had entered his office, Sydney was pulling him to his feet, wrapping her arms around his neck as she passionately kissed him. Once he recovered from the unexpected assault on his lips and his senses, he pulled her into his body, kissing her with equal hunger, finding it hard to believe that he'd forgotten in the span of two days how incredible it felt to kiss her. He couldn't believe that he had survived for two days without her, much less all the weeks and months while he was in Virginia.
Sydney slid onto his desk and pulled him until he stood between her legs as their kisses alternated between languid, deep kisses and frantic, urgent ones. Their hands roamed everywhere as they touched and drew closer to each other, and it wasn't long before kissing was no longer enough for either of them and they began divesting each other of pertinent items of clothing. Sydney finally tore her lips away from Vaughn's, panting as she tried to regain her breath, but her eyes locked on Vaughn's, wordlessly communicating her need for him as their hands and fingertips softly brushed across each newly exposed patch of skin. They eschewed foreplay, however, instead giving into their overwhelming desire for one another, and they were soon making love on the desk, drowning in their passion for on another as she wrapped her legs around his waist and dragged her fingernails down his back, and he kissed a slow, torturous path down her neck to the soft skin just above the scalloped lace edges of her bra.
For the first time that either of them could remember, they were completely silent in their lovemaking, save for their soft moans and sighs of mutual pleasure. They moved in perfect unison as they surrendered to their pent-up longing for each other, and it wasn't long before they found the release that they both needed. Vaughn slowly kissed Sydney as they rode out the waves of bliss together and she lovingly ran her fingers through his hair.
"Hi," she breathlessly whispered the first word that either of them had spoken since she entered in his office.
"Hey," he smiled as he pulled himself upright and drew her unbuttoned shirt back over her shoulders. "Remind me to call security in the morning and tell them that there's a crazy woman wandering the halls at night and making love to random agents on their desks," he laughed into her ear.
"Gee, you're so funny, Vaughn," she mocked as she buttoned his shirt back up. "Did you miss me?" she flirtatiously asked.
"Eh, not really," he shrugged. "But you obviously missed me."
"Yes, I did, and unlike you, I'm not too much of a jerk to admit it," she sniffed.
He trailed his fingers along the base of her scalp, moving them up into her hair and holding her head still as he gave her another deep, searing kiss. "You know I missed you," he whispered.
"I know," she grinned. "I just wanted to hear you say it."
"I thought you were going to wait for me to order Joey's Pizza," he teased, remembering their conversation just before she left for Turin.
"I was, but they take too long to deliver, and I couldn't wait," she giggled as she scooted off of his desk and smoothed her wrinkled skirt.
He grinned back at her, amazed by the effortless way that she always made him laugh. "You're adorable," he murmured. "I love you."
"I'd probably believe you more if your pants were pulled up when you said that," she teased. He rolled his eyes, but nevertheless pulled his boxers and pants back up and tucked his shirt back in. "So what kinds of exciting things did you do while I was gone?"
"Well, I worked and watched the hockey playoffs, and had fascinating intellectual conversations with Weiss, but I have to say that the highlight of the past two days was when I had dinner with your father."
"You what?" Sydney's eyes grew wide as saucers, and she studied his expression to see if he was joking. "You really had dinner with my dad?"
"Yeah, I did."
"How could the two of you -- "
"We met at the restaurant where he and Kretchmer have their meets. It was safe," he assured her.
"Wait a minute," she said, making a face, "didn't he pull a gun on you the last time you met him there?"
"Yeah, thanks for reminding me," he said with a mock grimace. "You know, that's going to make a great story for our kids one day -- 'the first time I met your grandpa, he nearly blew my head off.'"
"Vaughn," she laughingly shook her head, "you *cannot* tell our kids that." She grew serious and cupped his cheek with her hand, softly brushing her thumb against it. "Are you okay?" she questioned.
"Well, he didn't pull a gun on me this time, if that's what you're asking."
"It's not," she shook her head. "I just . . . how bad was it?" she asked, already cringing in anticipation of his answer.
"Actually? It wasn't that bad at all," he said, smiling as she attempted to rebuckle his belt. I think your dad just wanted to make sure that he and I were clear on a few things, and we are. It could have been much more painful than it was, and it really wasn't that painful."
"Are you sure? Because, I swear, if he threatened you or said anything to you that was -- "
"Syd," he interrupted, clasping her hands in his, "it was fine, I promise. I think your dad and I actually understand each other a lot better now."
"Yeah?" she asked, still sounding unconvinced. "Did you tell him that we're -- "
"Engaged? No," he laughed. "I didn't want to press my luck. I'm pretty sure that things wouldn't have gone nearly as well if I had told him that I'm going to marry you. I think I'm going to need backup for that one."
She laughed and gave him a quick kiss. "Don't worry, you'll have it, I promise."
TBC . . .