The Painful Spank of the Spankinator


This fanfic is based after the "Lets Throw a Kegger!" fanfic. Please read it before you read this one.



One night, in Dagoth Ur's Citadel, Ur and Curio rested in there bed. Ur was busy nussling Curio to notice a dark form approaching him. Suddenly, both Dagoth Ur and Crassius Curio were lifted out of there beds. Dagoth Ur looked around, still sleepy "Who's there!? Is that you shnookums?" Curio kicked around blindly "Someone is holding us up!" Suddenly, the spanking commenced and lasted a few minutes. Dagoth Ur rubbed his butt and cried, while Curio just held his butt in the air yelling "Hit me more!" The shadowy form exited the room and left. Dagoth Ur sat up and sang a new version of the Ghost Buster's theme "When there's something straaaange, spaning in the bed, who you gonna call?" Crassius Curio sat up in the bed "Vivec and his friends?"

Early the next morning, Vivec and the gang were waking up from the keg party that Vivec threw that night. Sotha Sil sat up and noticed he had a wad of panties shoved in his mouth "Who's undies are these?" Almalexia snatched them with lightning speed "Those are mine!" Nerevar yawned and looked around "****, someone gave me a monster wedgie." Vivec laughed "Yeah, I remember doing that."

Suddenly, there was a banging on the temple door, Vivec sat up "****, come in!" The temple doors opened and a priest walked in "I received word that a Mr. Ur and a Mr. Curio have been assaulted." Vivec attempted to sit up, but slumped over "Well, I'm still a bit out of it from last night, who here can go and investigate?" Almalexia stood up and straitened her shirt "Well, I can go, I didn't drink that much last night." Sotha Sil stood up and stretched "Well…why not." Nerevar scooted himself next to the sleeping Azura "Uh…you guys go on ahead of me." Almalexia and Sotha Sil looked at each other and then to the priest. Almalexia then looked towards the sleeping Vivec "uh…were going to need some recruitments."

Two cylinders of smoke appeared before her and as the smoke dissapeared, Malacath and Molag Bal stood before her. Malacath twitched and smiled "Hey, I'm Malacath, I've come to kill-uh investigate this crime. Yes-yes…investigate is what I've come to do!" Sheogorath looked around in all directions randomly as if a giant bird of prey was about to strike. Almalexia tilted her head "Something wrong Sheogorath?" Sheogorath looked around "pigs…flying blue pigs…there everwhere!" Sheogorath pulled out his cane and waved it about. Molag Bal walked up to Almalexia "Hey baby, did you know lizards have long tongues?" Molag Bal slid his tongue around her ear lobe, but was quickly stopped with a daedric hammer to the head "**** perverted lizard!" Suddenly, Fargoth popped out of Almalexia's backpack. He was sporting a pair of boxers tied to his head with a belt "Hey, did someone say pervert!? Cause that's me baby!" Fargoth Slumped over Almalexia's shoulder and dozed off. Almalexia took off the backpack and sat it on the ground "Well, looks like Fargy Wargy is staying here today."

The priest then looked around "Almalexia, Sotha Sil, Sheogorath, and Molag Bal are going to investigate correct?" Azura nodded "Yep, unless someone else appears." Then, with that said, a red myst appeared and out of it, Hircine appeared "Hey, I'm not late am I?" Molag Bal greeted him with a hand to the back of Hercine's head "Yeah your late you idiot!" Hercine looked around "Hey, you said I'd get to hunt some kittens if I came Molag Bal!" Malacath, still swatting at imaginary flying blue pigs stopped and looked around in a panicked manner "Kitten's rabid kittens I bet!" Malacath held his cane like a samarai holding a katana "Here kitty kitty kitty." Fargoth moaned "Kitty, were kitty?" Malacath grinned and twitched "DIE KITTY DIE!" Malacath began beating Fargoth with his cane. Almalexia shrugged "As Vivec would say, let's get this over with."

Later that day, the group arrived at Dagoth Ur's Citadel. Almalexia began the questioning with Dagoth Ur "Ur, what do you recall happening before you and Curio were attacked?" Dagoth Ur answered "Well, we had just finished loving one another in 12 positions of the Kamasutra. We started with-" Sotha Sil interrupted him "Hey man, don't give us the details on what happened between you and Curio, just what happened during the spanking." Dagoth Ur nodded "Ah, the spanking." Dagoth Ur rubbed his chin "Well…first, Curio tied me to the head post and then-" Sotha Sil groaned "Not between you and Curio man!" Dagoth Ur laughed "Oh, sorry about that." Dagoth Ur leaned to the right "Well, we were resting after…well…you know what. But about three minutes later, We were both suspend in the air and we were spanked by large hands. Molag Bal grabbed Almalexia's butt "Kind of turns you on doesn't it baby?" Almalexia pulled out her hammer and Molag Bal quickly released her.

Sheogorath walked in and looked around "Monkeys…monkeys everywhere!" Almalexia laughed "So it's not flying blue pigs that time?" Sheogorath began sniffing around the area like bloodhound "I can smell them…it's easy to find them…just smell around for urin." Sotha Sil gave him a confused look "Urin, why urin?" Sheogorath continued to sniff around "They pee in there hands…and wash their feet with it." Almalexia gave a sick expression "Ew, that's just nasty!" Suddenly, a monkey wearing a red vest and a fez jumped out from behind a cabinet. Sotha Sil jumped "What the **** man!" The monkey and Sheogorath let go of each other and the monkey started throwing monkey **** at him. Sheogorath laughed "I can play that game too!" Sheogorath dropped his pants, revealing a large diaper. Sheogorath reached into the diaper and began throwing handfuls of **** "EAT MY **** AND DIE!" The monkey took a wad of **** in the eye and retreated behind a secret door in the wall. Crassius Curio walked in and stamped his foot "I do declare, this is most unsanitary!" Curio shrugged "Sweetums, where's my sponge!" Dagoth Ur responded "It's in the bathtub remember! I gave you a sponge bath last night." Sheogorath kicked at the hidden door "Come out and get some you *****!" Almalexia pulled out her Daedric Hammer and busted the hidden door down. Hercine appeared behind Molag Bal "Monkeys! Can I hunt them!?" Molag Bal pointed to the door "Go get them!" Hercine pulled out his spear "KILL KILL KILL KILL!"

After a few minutes of chasing, the group found the monkey with at least two dozen of his friends. Almalexia rushed in first, but was dog piled by the monkeys. Almalexia tried to crawl out "Help me you guys!" Sotha Sil pulled out his sword "I'm coming!" Almalexia blushed "There thief monkeys and there taking my dress!" Molag Bal laughed "Wait Sil, let the monkeys steal first! Hehehe." Sotha Sil decided to wait a few second before jumping in, but Hercine lunged in with his spear "KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL!" One by one, Hercine squired the monkeys on his spear. Almalexia stood up wearing her panties and bra "Where are my cloths!" Molag Bal laughed "Bra and panties…you should stick with just those baby." Sheogorath ran in holding his cane "Monkeys, where are they!?" Almalexia found her dress and pulled it back on and then found her shirt "Lets find the monkey with the big hands." Hercine laughed "I'll just…stay here and cook my monkeys." Hercine had made a fire and was cooking the monkeys on his spear. Everyone gave him a weird look "What? Haven't you ever heard of Shish Kabob? Molag Bal licked his lizard lips "I'll stick around and have some monkey if that's okay with you." Hercine motioned for him to sit down "Sure, it will be done in a few minutes." Almalexia gagged "Lets go you two."

Almalexia, Sotha Sil, and Sheogorath followed a tunned down into another large room. The looked around and found a lone monkey sitting and eating bananas. Almalexia held out her hammer "Foul spanking monkey! You will not spank another day!" The large monkey dropped his banana and laughed "My name is Spankinator, a pet of Crassius Curio's that he left behind a year ago. Who might you be my dear?" Almalexia lowered her hammer "A talking monkey…and a polite one at that." Almalexia stepped back "Uh, my name is Almalexia, and these two are Sotha Sil and Sheogorath." Spankinator nodded towards them "Good day to you gentlemen." Sheogorath looked up to the monkey in fear "Donkey Kong has come to kill me for destroying his barrels!" Sheogorath ran up the tunnel with haste. Dagoth Ur and Curio appeared from the tunnel. Curio looked at the monkey and clasped his hands together "Spanky, it's you!" Curio ran up to Spankinator and hugged him "I wondered were you went!" Sotha Sil looked around confused "Uh, mind explaining this?" Curio smiled "I had a wizard make this monkey about 6 months before I met Dagoth Ur. I had Spanky here made specifically for spanking me!" Almalexia blushed "And that's what happened? He saw you and decided to do what he was made to do?" Curio nodded "He's my baby, so here is your payment." Curio handed her 2000 drakes "As I promised, you solved the crime and I paid you. Sotha Sil looked to Almalexia "So, we just leave them here?" Almalexia nodded "I guess so."

With that, the mystery of who spanked who was solved. The End.