Ch. 9 How Do I Live
After contemplating the situation for a while, Haley decided to talk to Nathan first. Upon knocking on the hotel door where Nathan had been staying ever since he won the emancipation case against his parents, Haley took a deep breath. Within seconds, Nathan opened the door with a shocked expression on his face upon seeing Haley.
How do I
Get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be?
Oh I, I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
Your my world my heart my soul
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything good in my life.
"Hey," Haley managed to say after half a minute passed by. "Hey yourself," replied Nathan; consciously aware his heartbeat raced beyond what he thought was humanly possible. The last two weeks had been excruciating for Nathan, but it didn't compare to what he felt the moment he saw Haley through the peephole. Although he was glad to finally see her after being away from her for so long, he was also hesitant at the same time. She was about to reveal the news that would either make him thank God that the love of his life loved him back or his heart would be shattered into a million unrecoverable pieces. 'Please choose me' thought Nathan.
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I
How do I
Oh how do I live? .
"May I come in?" asked Haley in a soft-spoken voice.
"Of course." Nathan moved aside so Haley could enter and then closed the door behind her as he mentally tried to prepare himself for what Haley had to say. Although he tried to think of all her possible scenarios to the situation so he could prepare himself in case there were devastating news for him, he knew that it was a waste of time and effort. How could he even pretend to be able to accept and deal with what he feared may happen?
Without you
There'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There would be no world left for me
And I
Baby I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything real in my life
Moving slowly towards the couch, she sat down and patted the seat next to her. Nathan took the cue and sat besides Haley, holding his breath. "I don't know how to begin," revealed Haley, obviously struggling to figure out the best way to approach the situation.
"Don't," conveyed Nathan, blatantly aware of where the conversation was heading. "I get it, you chose Lucas. You never loved me because you were always in love with him and always will be." Nathan got up from his seat and walked towards the window, looking out at the beautiful scenery before him. The landscape he thought was spectacular a few moments before became miserably bleak. It was if all the life and colors was sucked out and all that was left was a black, empty wasteland.
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I
How do I
Oh how do I live? ...
"Of course I loved you and still do." Haley was about to get up and walk towards Nathan, but decided against it, knowing that the simple act of touching him may cause him more pain that he already felt.
Nathan shook his head as he continued to look out the window. He didn't have the strength or courage to turn around and face her; to face rejection and disappointment once again in his life.
"You know what I mean. You're in love with him." Haley was about to respond before she saw a single tear slip down Nathan's face as he tried to discretely wipe it away. He wouldn't let Haley see him weaker than he already was. Men don't cry. At least that was what father had ingrained in his head. "Who was I kidding when I forced myself to believe that you could possibly love me the way you loved Lucas?"
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby coz you know your everything good in my life
The piercing agony she caused Nathan overcame her, causing her to shed tears for Nathan and her herself. She felt like a horrible person who didn't deserve anyone's love because she caused others to suffer excruciatingly. "Nath-" Haley began to choke out.
"It's okay Haley. Deep down, I always knew that I wasn't the one for you, but when the opportunity of being with you presented itself, I thought that maybe I was reading way too much into your relationship with Lucas. I loved you so much that I pushed all these thoughts aside in hopes that I was wrong, but I can see that I was wrong once again. It's not surprising. Once a loser, always a loser right?" All the insecurities that he had successfully hidden even from Haley began to present itself.
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I
How do I
Oh how do I live
"You're not a loser. I am for hurting you like this. I'm...I'm so sorry." Haley couldn't resist the urge to try to comfort him like she always did numerous times. When she finally put a hand on his shoulder, he said, "Don't touch me," in a harsher tone than he intended.
Haley was shocked at this tone he never directed towards her. She took a step back to give him more space. She frantically tried to wipe away the continuous flow of moisture on her face, but failed miserably. "Just go Haley." Nathan was about to have an emotional breakdown and didn't want anyone, especially Haley see him in this state. Besides, he couldn't stay in the room with her knowing that the love he had for her wasn't reciprocated.
How do I live without you
How do I live without you baby...
How do I live...
Taking one last look at Nathan, Haley left the room defeated. She reprimanded herself for not handling the situation any better even though she knew that no matter what way she went about it, the end result would have remained the same. As she took the long route to Lucas' house, millions of questions entered her mind. Why did love have to be so complicated? Why did she have to be the one to hurt those she loved? The never ending why questions overpowered her mind.
Trisha Yearwood – How Do I?
After contemplating the situation for a while, Haley decided to talk to Nathan first. Upon knocking on the hotel door where Nathan had been staying ever since he won the emancipation case against his parents, Haley took a deep breath. Within seconds, Nathan opened the door with a shocked expression on his face upon seeing Haley.
How do I
Get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be?
Oh I, I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
Your my world my heart my soul
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything good in my life.
"Hey," Haley managed to say after half a minute passed by. "Hey yourself," replied Nathan; consciously aware his heartbeat raced beyond what he thought was humanly possible. The last two weeks had been excruciating for Nathan, but it didn't compare to what he felt the moment he saw Haley through the peephole. Although he was glad to finally see her after being away from her for so long, he was also hesitant at the same time. She was about to reveal the news that would either make him thank God that the love of his life loved him back or his heart would be shattered into a million unrecoverable pieces. 'Please choose me' thought Nathan.
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I
How do I
Oh how do I live? .
"May I come in?" asked Haley in a soft-spoken voice.
"Of course." Nathan moved aside so Haley could enter and then closed the door behind her as he mentally tried to prepare himself for what Haley had to say. Although he tried to think of all her possible scenarios to the situation so he could prepare himself in case there were devastating news for him, he knew that it was a waste of time and effort. How could he even pretend to be able to accept and deal with what he feared may happen?
Without you
There'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There would be no world left for me
And I
Baby I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything real in my life
Moving slowly towards the couch, she sat down and patted the seat next to her. Nathan took the cue and sat besides Haley, holding his breath. "I don't know how to begin," revealed Haley, obviously struggling to figure out the best way to approach the situation.
"Don't," conveyed Nathan, blatantly aware of where the conversation was heading. "I get it, you chose Lucas. You never loved me because you were always in love with him and always will be." Nathan got up from his seat and walked towards the window, looking out at the beautiful scenery before him. The landscape he thought was spectacular a few moments before became miserably bleak. It was if all the life and colors was sucked out and all that was left was a black, empty wasteland.
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I
How do I
Oh how do I live? ...
"Of course I loved you and still do." Haley was about to get up and walk towards Nathan, but decided against it, knowing that the simple act of touching him may cause him more pain that he already felt.
Nathan shook his head as he continued to look out the window. He didn't have the strength or courage to turn around and face her; to face rejection and disappointment once again in his life.
"You know what I mean. You're in love with him." Haley was about to respond before she saw a single tear slip down Nathan's face as he tried to discretely wipe it away. He wouldn't let Haley see him weaker than he already was. Men don't cry. At least that was what father had ingrained in his head. "Who was I kidding when I forced myself to believe that you could possibly love me the way you loved Lucas?"
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything
Need you with me
Baby coz you know your everything good in my life
The piercing agony she caused Nathan overcame her, causing her to shed tears for Nathan and her herself. She felt like a horrible person who didn't deserve anyone's love because she caused others to suffer excruciatingly. "Nath-" Haley began to choke out.
"It's okay Haley. Deep down, I always knew that I wasn't the one for you, but when the opportunity of being with you presented itself, I thought that maybe I was reading way too much into your relationship with Lucas. I loved you so much that I pushed all these thoughts aside in hopes that I was wrong, but I can see that I was wrong once again. It's not surprising. Once a loser, always a loser right?" All the insecurities that he had successfully hidden even from Haley began to present itself.
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I
How do I
Oh how do I live
"You're not a loser. I am for hurting you like this. I'm...I'm so sorry." Haley couldn't resist the urge to try to comfort him like she always did numerous times. When she finally put a hand on his shoulder, he said, "Don't touch me," in a harsher tone than he intended.
Haley was shocked at this tone he never directed towards her. She took a step back to give him more space. She frantically tried to wipe away the continuous flow of moisture on her face, but failed miserably. "Just go Haley." Nathan was about to have an emotional breakdown and didn't want anyone, especially Haley see him in this state. Besides, he couldn't stay in the room with her knowing that the love he had for her wasn't reciprocated.
How do I live without you
How do I live without you baby...
How do I live...
Taking one last look at Nathan, Haley left the room defeated. She reprimanded herself for not handling the situation any better even though she knew that no matter what way she went about it, the end result would have remained the same. As she took the long route to Lucas' house, millions of questions entered her mind. Why did love have to be so complicated? Why did she have to be the one to hurt those she loved? The never ending why questions overpowered her mind.
Trisha Yearwood – How Do I?