DISCLAIMER: I do not own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z and Dragon Ball GT
I definetly do not own Bridget Jones's Diary, written by Helen Fielding
This is based on the missing three years… OF COURSE… as usual… anyway. Hope you like it. READ AND REVIEW
Bulma Briefs's Diary
Chapter 7
June
Life with Vegeta
3 June
117 lbs. Alcohol units: none. Cigarettes: 43. Calories: 1021
Noon. CC offices: Arrived really early this morning. With my parents at home now, there's no point in my staying there.
Been thinking a lot about Vegeta, about his staying at my house.
For the first time in my life, I know how it feels to have an annoying brother around. I guess that, sometimes it can be real fun… We keep bugging each other, playing jokes on each other…
Hehehehe! Last night I decided to have all his clothes washed but for the pair of leather pants and the pink Badman shirt… Hahaha, he was so pissed! He yelled at me for an hour while he was locked in his room… But… he had nothing else to wear for dinner… I waited by his door with the camera in my hands… but couldn't take the picture cause I was shaking with laughter…
Finally, he came out of the bedroom.
- I'm no fucking drag queen
He was right… He's a fucking Drag-Prince.
Aawww… I'm still laughing…
Anyway… When he's tired (when he's finished with his training for the day) we can actually share peaceful moments.
We watch T.V. as he eats a snack and while I paint my toenails.
I think we've grown accustomed to each other.
I know his routine by heart.
I know the exact time he gets up, when he takes his morning shower. I know when he might be hungry, when he goes to bed.
I've got used to the almost unnoticeable sounds of his waking up. I know that, every morning, he gets up slowly, sits on the edge of the bed and remains still for a while. Then he walks to the chair where he leaves his clothes every night.
I can even hear him as he puts his clothes on, the unmistakable sound of the fabrics rubbing his skin.
Then he stretches, walks back to the bed and sits again to put his boots on.
Every morning I stay in bed as I listen carefully to his morning rituals. I get up only after I've heard him coming out of the bathroom, meaning the end of his ritual.
I must confess… I quite enjoy having him around.
5 June
117 lbs. Alcohol units: none. Cigarettes: 11. Calories: 603 (I'm so hungry)
Afternoon. CC. Kitchen: Kami! I'm starving… Just came back from the office. Only had a sandwich… Please… Oh, please… Hope Vegeta hasn't eaten everything…
After Dinner. CC. Kitchen: Just finished washing up. Sent Mum to bed, 'cause, frankly… I'm really fed up with her. Why am I so tired?
Ugh… my head aches.
7 June
116 lbs. Alcohol units: none. Cigarettes: none. Calories: 1.070 (mostly chicken-soup). Antibiotics: 457.211. Complaints: 1.673.001 and counting.
Morning. CC. Bedroom: I'm soooo ill! Flu or something… Some kind of virus…
AAARRRGGG! I hate being sick! MUM! I want some soup! (And please… add some vodka to it…)
Late morning. CC. My room: I'm so bored! I hate staying in bed! There's nothing to do…
Why do people get restless when sick and cannot wait to get to bed when healthy?
I can really be a pain in the ass when I'm ill…
After Lunch. CC. My room: Oh, Mum… Oh…. She decided to keep me company… By having lunch here… In my bedroom… All of them… Here… In my bedroom… Food… Lots of food… here… in my bedroom… Mum… Dad… Vegeta… Here… In my bedroom… Me? Oh well… I'm sick, my head aches, I have a temperature but it's ok… you can sure have a picnic here… IN MY FUCKING BEDROOM!
Late afternoon. CC. My room: Sick of chicken soup. REALLY REALLY SICK OF CHICKEN SOUP…
When is this illness going to leave my fragile, beautiful, darling body? I want to be healthy again…
8 June
114 lbs. Alcohol units: none (since I'm totally stoned with antibiotics). Cigarettes: none. Calories: 709. Tablets: 37 (massive attack on virus). Orange juice glasses: 48 (massive assistance for immunity system). Bathroom excursions because of orange juice glasses: 111. Laugher-attacks: 701.
Late night. CC. Bedroom: Day couldn't have begun in a better way (despite illness).
I've passed my virus to VEGETA!
Mwahahahahaha!
Oh yes… I'm going to enjoy this so much!
- I thought Saiyans were too strong to catch diseases!
I said loudly so as Vegeta could hear me from his room.
He didn't answer.
- Maybe human diseases are stronger than Saiyan's immune system! – I said, receiving no answer again.
- Awww… You're angry, Vegeta? Don't get all grumpy… I'm sure you are just pretending to be sick just to get my Mum's attention… - I said mockingly.
I had just started laughing when a red-faced Vegeta stormed in my room.
- Listen… you… - He said in a nasal tone – You… you… Woman… I can still blast you to oblivion!
He was threatening me with his index finger, but his eyes went suddenly blank. He lowered his hand and stood there… silent.
- Vegeta? Are you all right?
Suddenly, he sneezed. I have never seen someone sneeze so hard. Even the walls shook… I could virtually see every single Saiyan virus particle coming out of his mouth.
- Blessed- I said.
He remained silent, as if in shock. He seemed to be very confused.
- Vegeta?
- What the hell was that?
- You just sneezed- I said, thinking he was playing a joke on me – When you have a cold, you sneeze.
- This is your entire fault, bitch – He said in a flat tone. He seemed very tired all of a sudden. He leaned on a chair for support.
- You should go back to bed – I said.
- Don't order me around – He answered, but not as emphatically as usual.
My mother then came in the room.
- There you are, Vegeta… I thought you had gone training… You should stick to bed and rest, dear – Mum chirped as she laid a tray with cookies and tea on the desk – I brought a pack of cards and some board games so that you can have fun together while you recover.
Once she had left, Vegeta gave me a side-glance.
- Don't count on my hanging around you, woman.
- C'mon Vegeta… I'm sure you are as bored as I am. It might actually be fun…
He humphed.
- Awww… Don't tell me you feel embarrassed… Don't be ashamed because you don't know how to play any of these games… I can teach you… If you want… - I said in a teasing tone.
He remained silent.
- All right… - I said, giving up – Just have some tea and cookies, I won't bother you anymore.
I took the cards and begun playing solitaire.
He sighted loudly.
- Besides… You wouldn't learn how to play any game… You are not smart enough… - I said softly, trying a little experiment on him.
And it worked.
Oh, it did…!
Six hours of non-stopping poker and some lessons of chess (decided to give poker up since he burned the cards out of rage 'cause I beat him on several occasions).
Note to self: Never beat a Saiyan… no matter in what sort of competition… Just don't… They become obsessed…
12 June
112 lbs. Alcohol units: none. Cigarettes: 2. Calories: 1027. Chess games won: 27. Evasive manoeuvres to avoid Vegeta's punches during rage attacks after defeats: 1.368.
Late night: Almost fully recovered from disease. Vegeta is almost recovered as well…
Just finished our 90th chess game of the day and he just finished destroying the eleventh chess set this week.
Ha! I beat his ass! Arg! He gets so pissed!
Decided to teach him some other game…
But… He'll go back to train tomorrow.
Now… Why did Vegeta spend so much time playing chess with me?
I've come up with several hypotheses:
He was really really bored and maybe he can't read.
He CAN read, but he has no books.
He was really, really bored.
Chess is a game during which you don't need to talk more than two words.
Taking hypothesis 4 in consideration, by playing chess with me he can keep me silent.
Chess is a game that involves tactical training.
He is just weird.
After serious analyse on the hypotheses presented, decided to choose Hypothesis 7 as an a priori theory to justify his hanging around me for so long.
15 June
112 lbs. Alcohol units: 7. Cigarettes: 24. Calories: 1002
Late night. CC. My room: decided to go back to work but take it reaaaaaaaaaally easy.
16 June
111 lbs. Alcohol units: 11. Cigarettes: 19. Calories: 2.172. Phone-calls: 31
Noon. CC offices: Having lunch in my office. Really bored. I do love my job, but sometimes it can be a little too overwhelming. Especially since I'm just recovering from disease.
I wonder what Vegeta is doing.
Late afternoon. CC. Kitchen: Just arrived. I feel sooo tired!
It's amazing how tiring doing almost nothing can be. I mean almost nothing cause all I do is having meetings with the board, checking on the progress of some projects, and approve or reject potential projects. It's not that bad. I'm the President of C.C., which sounds really important. This is a secret: it's not all that important.
I still remember when I was little and my dad did most of the work. We were not rich then. Funny how I remember those years. I was really happy.
Then I came across the Dragon Ball and everything changed for me.
It all seems so distant now.
When I think of it, I can't help feeling old. I have grown, but I don't think I'm so different from the girl I was when I first met Goku.
He has grown… Oooh… sure he has.
I would have never thought he would be married before me. And that he would be a father before I am a Mum.
O can't help seeing him as the small child he was. So dumb and naive. Well… He hasn't changed all that much…
But he seems so grown now… Well… I'm not much older than he is…
But… sometimes… I forget who he is, and I just see him as the golden-hearted man he is now. The handsome man he is now.
Back in Namek, I thought a lot about him… About the chance I with him had lost…
But… despite his good looks… Would I be happy with him? Opposites do attract, and yet… I wish that when I firs met hum I could have seen what he would become…
AAAWWWW… HE'S MARRIED, BULMA! KEEP THAT IN MIND.
The question is not whether I would have made him happy or not… The real question is: Would I have been happy with HIM? Sure… for a while…
But I'm still looking for something else… something more extraordinary than that…
11.30 p.m. CC. My room: Haven't seen Vegeta in all day… Maybe he's catching up with training. He did lost a lot of time while being sick… I'll just have a bath and go to bed.
18 June
110 lbs. Alcohol units: 7. Cigarettes: 30. Calories: 1.326. Fantasies about handsome well-built men: 27 (av. p/s)
Afternoon: Day-off after a horrid week. Been thinking all day about… MEN! Bulma, Bulma, Bulma…
I'm truly hopeless… Oh good… I just heard Vegeta coming into the house… I'll ask him if he wants to play chess…
Late afternoon. CC. Kitchen: I beat his ass up! I'm sooooo good at chess! He kept saying I had cheated… NOT A CHANCE! LOSER! He's just so…
Later. CC. My room: I had to stop cause Vegeta was peeping on my writing! THAT CAN BE REALLY DANGEROUS!…
Wait a minute… Does that mean he's interested in what I think? Curious? I'll ask him… Or maybe just tease him…
Late night. CC. My room: That was a bad idea… REAL BAD IDEA. I had to go through one of his "I'm the Prince of All Saiyans… yada yada yada" monologues.
AAWWW… I just wanted to know if he was interested… I didn't have bad intentions… Ok… Maybe I did…
28 June
109 lbs. Alcohol units: 3. Cigarettes: 14. Calories: 4.076 (Yuck! But Mum keeps saying I'm too thin…)
Late night. CC. My room: TERRIBLE DAY!
All day busy at the office… And when I got home Mum was cooking a massive amount of food.
UGH… I had forgotten tomorrow's her birthday… DAMN, DAMN, DAMN.
I hate her birthday parties… It's like an invasion of clones of my mother, crowding the house. Thousands of Mrs. Briefses all over the place, chirping together, singing idiotic songs, bouncing up and down, humming. TOTAL NIGHTMARE!
What's worse… They all look and talk the same way…
It's going to be Pandemonium.
I'll warn Vegeta as soon as I see him… Maybe…
Anyway, my mother caught me on my way to my room (I was escaping, actually)
- Bulma, darling! Will you help me tomorrow? I want everything to be perfect!
- Uh… I actually… I have work to do… sorry…
- Dear… The party won't be up until late afternoon… You'll have time…
- But… I have to work until late… night…
- Oh, honey… You are head of the corporation. You can do whatever you please…
THOUCHE! NO WAY OUT!
- And I want you to look your best… I'll ask Vegeta to join us…
- Mum… I don't think… Why look my best?
- Oh, silly… He'll be so confused you'll have to help him…
- WHAT?
- I'll tell him to come and dine with us, but I won't be telling him it's my birthday party… I'll make his favourite chocolate cake…
I was totally lost… She kept babbling things I couldn't understand…
- You see… I'm planning to have all his clothes washed so that he will have to wear a suit, which I'll be placing in his closet… (I see now… I am my mother's daughter) When he comes down for dinner and sees all the people, you will be there to talk to him, since he'll be all alone at the party… And then I will have a grandchild!
I blinked… trying to digest her idiotic plan.
- You will both have chocolate cake. Vegeta will look so handsome. And you will look so beautiful! Everything will be just perfect.
My mind kept wandering.
I don't know why she didn't just come out with it and say, 'Darling, do shag Vegeta over the chocolate cake during my party, won't you? He'll look very handsome.'
Aw… really… Is she was planning to fix me up with Vegeta, why the fuck was she letting me know all about it?
Does she think I'll just say "yes Mum" and do whatever she says?
HAVE TO WARN VEGETA.
Later: Maybe in the morning…
29 June
109 lbs. Alcohol units: 23. Cigarettes: 59. Calories: 5091. Negative thoughts: 6.478.001 (av.p/m)
Early morning. CC. Kitchen: Woke up really early to find Vegeta and warn him about tonight's party.
Found him coming out of the bathroom, dressed in his training spandex pants, his skin moist. He looked so handsome! I just wanted to shout 'Shag me, shag me, shaaaagggg meeeee!!!!'
But then I came to my senses… He's Vegeta, for fuck's sake.
- Vegeta!…
- What?… Bitching so early, woman?
- Fuck you…
- You wish…
Arg! I got so mad I decided to "accidentally" forget to warn him about the party.
Noon. CC offices: Poor Vegeta (he he he) He had it coming.
3 p.m.: Took the afternoon off to help Mum. No matter how much I hate her friends… She's still my mother… And I love her…
…
I REALLY DO!
I do!
Late afternoon. CC. My room: Had a little conversation with dad about Mum's plan to get me fixed up with Vegeta and he promised to keep her busy.
Vegeta got in the kitchen when I was decorating Mum's Birthday Cake.
- Woman… What is this all about?
- Uh… Nothing Vegeta… Just a little celebration…
- Whatever…
- You're going to have a bath now?
- It's none of your business.
- 'Cause… you see… - I said, trying to fight my conscience- Oh… it's nothing… just come down for dinner after you're finished.
- You don't need to tell me that… - He said, smirking.
He left… Mum had already stolen all of his clothes.
Revenge is sweet.
Late night (late, late, late night). CC. My room: After these sorts of parties, you need to get your ears a rest.
I did have a good time, though…
Vegeta came down for dinner wearing the elegant suit Mum had left in his closet. He looked really pissed when he came downstairs.
- Woman! – He roared, but then remained silent when he noticed the main room was crowded. He came close to me (looking heavenly… When he's the devil in person… Ironic, isn't it?)
- Woman… who are these people?
- Uh? Hi there, Vegeta… These are Mum's friends – I said sheepishly- it's Mum's Birthday… Didn't you know?
- Where have all my clothes gone? – He said angrily.
- No idea – I said, plainly ignoring him and trying to hold my laughter – Maybe you should ask Mum…
He headed towards the crowd… and then…
- OH! THIS MUST BE YOUNG VEGETA!
- YOUNG HANDSOME VEGETA!
- ISN'T HE A CUTIE?
- OHHH… HE'S SOOO GOOD LOOKING…
- AREN'T YOU A PIECE OF CAKE!
- ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH LITTLE BULMA, DEAREST?
- WHEN IS THE HAPPY WEDDING?
- ARE YOU HUNGRY?
- WANT TO HAVE A DRINK?
About fifty women immediately surrounded Vegeta, pinching his cheeks, grabbing his bum, pulling his collar, pulling his hair… or simply touching him to check he was real.
I could barely see him. He seemed to be covered by the massive amount of pheromones expelled by my Mum's friends…
I nearly choked with laughter.
I was planning to save him… After he has suffered enough, of course…
About half an hour later, I managed to grab Vegeta's hand and pulled him off the pile of women. He was a half-naked mess.
- Excuse me… he's mine – I said as I came through.
- What in the HELL was THAT? - He said in shock.
- My mum's friends…
Was that fear in his eyes?
- I was about to warn you about this today… But you just had to be so rude.
He seemed too shocked to complain.
I dragged him across the room and took him to the kitchen.
- We'll be quite safe here…
- What was that? – He said once more.
- Imagine my Mum increased at a milling times… THAT WAS THAT… It happens every year… But this time she just wanted to show you off… And those women are fucking desperate…
- They almost took all of my clothes off… They touched me in places I didn't even know I had in my body… - He said, his eyes fixed on the table.
- Aw… you're overreacting. Now, I'll warn you… My Mum is trying to fix us up, so, be careful. Dad will help us…
- …
- Relax… I told you we'd be safe here… All those woman care about is men and food… all food is out there…
He gave me a desperate look. I went to the fridge in silence. I had reserved some food for him. He looked at me and sighted in relief.
- I guess this cancels my debt- I said.
- Debt?
- I owed you, remember?
- Oh… yes… that cancels your debt… - he said, not really listening to what I was saying but grabbing some fried chicken-wings.
- Want to play chess?
He smirked triumphantly.
- I'll beat your fat ass, woman.
- You wish!
He gave a side-glance towards the door.
- Sure they won't find us here?
I smiled.
- Sure.
He smirked and resumed eating.
We had a peaceful night, and yes… he beat my ass… But didn't make a fuzz about it. It might have something to do with my rescuing him before.
After a couple of hours, Dad came into the kitchen.
- Now or never, kids. They are all watching photographs of dogs…Go to bed now… Or face doom… - And he disappeared.
Once in bed, I heard Vegeta turning off the light.
- Good night, Vegeta – I said loudly.
Several minutes passed by, until…
- 'Night, Bulma.
I just felt so happy.
Author's Note:
I really had lots of difficulties in writing this chapter…
Initially, it was longer… But I decided the last lines would be a perfect ending.
I haven't even begun to write the next chapter, so I won't be updating soon (busy days…)
Hope you liked this chapter.
Thanks so much for your lovely reviews… You all made me blush!!!!!!
Awwwwww
Well… that's all for now…
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Thanks sooooo much for taking the time to read my little fanfic… Stay tuned!