Title: The Wall
Rating: PG-13
Summary: An alternate universe fic. Sirius didn't kill the 13 muggles. He only killed Peter, and was released from Prison after only10 years in there. Then he disappeared. Now, Harry's sparked interest in his missing godfather leads him to a man who calls Himself 'The Grim.'
A/N: I'M BBBBAAACCCCKKKK!!!! Forgive me, please, I'm so sorry! I place myself before your mercy and beg for forgiveness!!! I am SO SORRY!!!!! I've been trying to get my web page up but NOOOO... Anyway, I am extremely worried about my beta. She hasn't to my numerous E-mail's and I don't think her computer could be down THIS long (although, I could be wrong) If anyone knows anything about Snuffles, please tell me, I'm worried SICK!!!!!!
Since this isn't beta-read, it's going to suck; I re-read it over and over. I hope it's not to bad.
Disclaimer: I own nothing... no, literally. I'm broke.
The Wall, chapter 9
The ride to the castle was an unpleasant one, the carriage smelled like hey and the three of them had all ready talked themselves into silence on the train. But once they got out and into the castle. Their mood changed quickly. You couldn't help but smile and whisper to your fellow classmates in the well-lighted great hall.
After a 'quick' sorting, and the proper introduction of professor Lupin to the Hogwarts staff, As well as (to the three friends thrill) Hagrid, taking on the job of care of magical creatures. The large beginning-of-the year feast began. As Harry and the others began to stuff their faces Harry noticed a few heads turn towards him with wide eyes and pity and he felt his stomach lurch.
'Has word traveled that fast?' he thought to himself. ' Do the teachers know?'
Judging by the looks on their faces, they did. Harry couldn't bear to look at Mcgonagal. And Dumbledore... Harry managed a mili-second glance at the headmaster and saw Dumbledore looking at him with a strange expression Harry had never seen before. He hadn't been able to finish his food after that. He put his fork down but kept his eyes toward his food, trying his best not to howl in frustration and to ignore the looks on the others faces and to tune out Ron and Hermiones concerned questions.
When he looked up again it was to see that most of the student body had finished eating. Dumbledore then stood and made the annual announcements, the school song was sung (See authors note at bottom). And then he bid them good night. Harry, along with the rest of the school, stood and began to file out the door, all except Hermione, who was called up to the teachers' table to where Mcgonagall sat and they spoke for a few moments before she turned and headed back toward Ron and Harry, who had waited for her.
"What was that all about?" Ron asked as the three of them began to walk out toward their fellow students out of the Hall.
"Nothing." Hermione said, but she was blushing furiously and apparently couldn't stop smiling, " She just wanted to talk to me about my schedule."
Ron rolled his eyes and stole a glance at Harry, who hadn't said two words during the feast.
"You ok?"
" Huh? Yeah, I'm fine..."
" HARRY!"
Harry mentally groaned and turned around to see professor Lupin running toward them.
"I'm sorry, Harry, but professor Dumbledore wants to talk to you in his office." Lupin grimaced at his own words as he looked at Harry's expression.
'Why can't this wait?' Remus thought
If ever Harry thought he was going to throw up that night, now was the time. But he swallowed what little food he had eaten, told Ron and Hermione to go on with out him and then he followed Lupin down the stairs.
"This won't take long." Lupin reassured him. " And you'll feel better once you talk about it."
Harry held back the thought to set Lupin right and nodded.
"And besides, you'll be talking to Dumbledore, and talking to Dumbledore is not like talking to anyone else."
Despite himself, Harry smiled.
"That's true, I wonder why that is."
"It's all in the beard." Lupin smiled down at him, and this time Harry outright laughed.
"Why do you say that?"
"My grandfather had the same type of beard, long and swishy. " He made a motion as if to twirl his fingers in an imaginary beard of his own as Harry stifled a laugh." I would tell that man anything, he was bed ridden when I was little and I used to run to him whenever I was in trouble. My parents ...didn't like me that much. He was the only reason they kept me, I think. So, when he died. My father left me at this house with a bunch of people even HE didn't know. I was five at the time."
Harry couldn't help but gasp. "That's awful."
Lupin shook his head. " No it wasn't, it was the best thing he ever did for me. Turns out the family that took me in had a soft spot for ...orphans."
Harry smiled, not bothering to ask why Lupin was being so open about this. It was most certainly not required that new professors spill their past experiences to students, least of all Harry.
"Who were your adoptive family?"
But Harry's question was never answered. They had arrived at the gargoyle. Lupin muttered the password and led Harry into Dumbledores' office.
Dumbledore sat behind his desk, a strange, closed expression on his face. The usual friendly twinkle was still in his eyes, but it was dulled, somehow. As if the headmasters eyes themselves knew that their host was about to do something most unpleasant. This did not comfort Harry at all. He walked slowly to one of the two high back chairs the headmaster was gesturing to. Mcgonagall sat in the other, beside Harry. She, too, looked as though she was going to be ill. Lupin stood beside Harry, and Harry felt better somehow, knowing he was there.
"Hello, Harry." Dumbledore smiled slightly, and were it not for the deadened twinkle in his eyes Harry would have thought it was genuine. Even so, Harry tried to make his own fake smile look real, and he muttered a very small 'hello professor' before looking down at his hands.
"I am sorry, Harry." Dumbledore said quietly, and he sounded as though he really meant it. " I know you wish to avoid discussing this. But we must know what happened at the train station, and during the summer. If you think you're up to it."
'Of course I'm not up to it.' Harry thought bitterly. 'Would you be?'
Despite what was going on inside his head, Harry nodded and swallowed what little courage he had and looked up, right into the elderly wizards eyes.
"There's nothing to tell, really, sir." He started. "I ran away from home during the summer and he was upset, he knew I was going to be there, at the station, he just wanted to get the final word in the argument, I guess."
"Did he try to hit you?" Dumbledore's voice was soft, yet it had an undertone to it that made the hairs on the back of Harry's neck stand up.
"Y...yes, sir." Mcgonagall made a motion, as if to say something, but a glance from Dumbledore silenced her.
Dumbledore turned his attention back to Harry. "Has he ever tried to hit you before? Or threatened to?"
Memories flooded Harry like a title wave. All the years of abuse and neglect coupled into one giant ball of pain and misery swirling over and over again in Harry's mind unbeknownst to the others in the room.
His third birthday that was when he first noticed that something wasn't right about the way he was being treated. That was when he first asked what had happened to his parents. He supposed that he had seemed old enough then (Harry was very mature then, despite his small size) to take the occasional hit on the side of the head, and the painful pinch of his shoulder or even sometimes boxing his ears. He had been locked in his cupboard countless times and denied food for two days at a time, but never longer that that, for some reason.
But he hadn't been out right hit until he was ten; it was the python incident at the zoo that had caused his uncle to do it. He had been so furious with him. Looking back, Harry supposed that was because Vernon knew what was coming, that he, Harry, was soon going to be able to defend himself with 'Black magic'.
"Harry, Harry? I'll ask you again. Did your uncle ever try to hit you before, or threatened to hit you, before now?"
When Dudley turned five they had gone to a park, but Miss Figg was ill. So Harry was locked in his cupboard, he remembered lying there, crying for hours until they got home. He didn't really know why he cried, self-pity, he supposed. When they got home, they...they had forgotten about him. For hours, Harry was lying there, trying to calm himself, if they heard him in there, walling in self-pity...well, Harry rather not be found at all...but they never came to let him out. Dudley was having a sleep over and Harry could hear them in the living room talking about how great a day they had had. What they were going to do for the rest of the summer...and Aunt Petunia had started to bring them homemade treats. Harry could smell them from his cupboard.
"Harry? Harry, are you all right?"
When he was seven, they had gone to the Dursley family reunion. How Harry had hated it. He was left in the pool with Dudley and his cousins, who were very like Dudley themselves. They had decided to play 'Harry drowning', which was like ' Harry hunting' except that there was no running in the pool area, so Harry had no chance. They had held him under the water for too long, and he blacked out. Harry could remember hearing someone calling his name... Harry was for certain it was his father, calling to him. But once he woke up, Uncle Vernon said it was only the lifeguard, trying to revive him. He seemed furious with the idea of Harry's parents waiting for him in the after life...
Harry had found out later that Vernon had lied. The lifeguard didn't know his name. He kept calling him Henry. He had been on duty the next day and asked Harry (Henry) if he was okay. It had been very comforting, somehow, to know that the lifeguard didn't know his name... But someone else did.
"Harry!?"
Harry shook his head and came back to Dumbledore's office with a rather unpleasant 'thump'
"Yes." He mumbled. Dumbledore leaned across his desk and again had that strange expression on his face.
" What?"
"Yes." Harry mumbled again, a bit louder this time. But Dumbledore still looked as though he hadn't heard him.
"Harry. You're going to have to...."
"He said yes, headmaster."
It was professor Lupin. There was a strange, steely note in his voice that Harry had never heard a person use toward the Headmaster before.
Dumbledore's attention turned toward Lupin in a rather calm expression. Mcgonagall looked scandalized.
" I am well aware of what Harry said, Remus. But he needs to speak louder, anyway. He needs to know that he said yes."
" He knows." Lupin growled threatenly.
In truth, Harry's mind had been going very slowly since he had been asked the question. But the way Lupin and Dumbledore's conversation was going he figured he had better put his feet firmly back on the ground.
"Professor Lupin." Harry said, in a quiet voice. Looking up at Lupin, who had put his hand on Harry's shoulder " He... He's right; I'm not really paying attention to what I'm saying. But I am now. "
Harry turned his attention back to Professor Dumbledore. "Yes," Harry said, more loudly and more clearly than he had before. "He's.....that is to say, Vernon. Has hit me before. He has threatened me before. He..."
Another memory was surfacing, one Harry quickly pushed down. He had blocked that horrible incident out of his thoughts and memories and he had no intention of bring it back.
Dumbledore, however, had other intentions.
"Yes?"
Harry's mind had started back again and was now going back and forth in a very heated inner argument.
'NO!! NO NO NO!! I SHOULDN'T TELL HIM!!! IT'S WRONG!!!! VERNON SAID IT WAS PARTLY MY FAULT AND IT WAS!!!'
On the other side of his brain though....
'OF COURSE YOU SHOULD TELL HIM!!!!! HE HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW!!!! HE CAN FIX IT!!!! IT'S F***ING DUMBLEDORE!!!! HE CAN FIX ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!'
This argument went on for a few minutes and Dumbledore sighed. He stood up and walked around his desk, where he knelt down to Harry's eye level.
" You can tell us, Harry. It's all right. I promise. The papers won't know. Your fellow students won't know. All we need to know is what he did...." Dumbledore said this very quietly
"He...He tried to... to ..." Dumbledore's eyes flashed for a millisecond in deep focus, and Harry felt as though he had just been put under a warm blanket. He still felt afraid. But he wasn't cold... He wasn't alone...
"He tried to well, you know..." Harry voice sounded stronger than he felt. He supposed it was Dumbledore's silent spell, it felt like a phoenix call really...
" He didn't actually do it, but he tried. I...I was eight. He was angry with me for something... I forgot.....He......He locked me in my cupboard without punishing me. I thought I had gotten off, which wasn't right. He waited until it was dark and I heard him come back down stairs. He tried...he tried to....... I used magic...by accident. He was flung against the wall. I didn't know what to do. He started to yell at me. He said that it was my fault. He said that I had bewitched him. I didn't know what he meant until later. He never tried again. I've tried not to think about it. " He paused. "Until now."
Harry stopped and looked up into professor Dumbledore's crystal blue eyes. Something strange was happening to him. He could still feel the calm, soothing effect of Dumbledore's silent spell...was it a spell? He didn't hear Dumbledore speak ... well, whatever it was it was now making him wish he had just said 'no' to Lupin and had gone on to bed. He was sleepier now than he had been before he came up here and he wished that they would just hurry it up and get on with it.
Dumbledore nodded to him and gave Harry a small smile.
"I think that's enough, Harry. I'm ...I'm very proud of what you have just done. And I'm sorry you had to do it. You've earned a good sleep. Remus, would you mind taking him up to Gryffindor tower? I don't believe it's safe to let him go on his own, he looks dead on his feet...my fault, I'm afraid..."
Lupin nodded and helped Harry to his feet. Harry moaned softly. He really wanted to go to sleep. He started to lean on Professor Lupin heavily and nearly tripped on the way down the stares, by the time they got to the end of the hall, Lupin just swept down and started to carry Harry the rest of the way. There was a struggle at first for Harry 's part. He was blushing furiously and muttering in his now almost-asleep state. But Lupin was stronger than he looked and he did not yield. Finally Harry gave up and laid his head on Lupin's chest.
" You know what Harry?" Lupin said, as they were starting down the hall that ended in the Gryffindors portrait entrance, more to himself than to the sleeping Harry. " I think I would have killed this man if I had had the chance. It's kind of scary, really. Your godfather is usually the one who...takes care of things like this. He ...well, you've met him. Let's just say that they don't call him the 'grim ripper' for nothing..."
"What did you say?" Harry mumbled, looking up from the folds of Lupin's robes.
Lupin paled, he had thought that Harry had fallen asleep.
" 'bout my gowdfader. 'Id you know em?" (Did I just intentionally mis- spell something? What is this world coming to?) It was obvious that Harry was about to fall asleep. He could barley keep his eyes open, and for that Lupin was grateful.
" Yes."
"Hmm." That was all Harry managed before he slipped back into Lupin's robes and fell asleep.
Lupin sighed and mentally slapped himself. He would have to watch himself in front of Harry. Or anyone. He had almost let it slip earlier. And now he did let it slip, and term hadn't even started yet! Thank god for the side effects of 'comforting charms'.
It wasn't that Lupin didn't want Harry to know about him. Well, he did know about him, but ... well, you understand. It was just...12 years of trying... 18 failed attempts to get custody. He didn't want Harry to get his hopes up. Hell, Lupin was trying to get his hopes down. All the times he had tried to give Harry what he deserved, a home, and had been denied...Of course, Cyrus hadn't been a factor in those attempts, and Remus wasn't for sure he would be of any help in this attempt. But the fact that Cyrus was there gave Remus a little courage. That was the power of friendship, Remus supposed. Cyrus made Remus feel braver than he actually was, especially concerning Harry. Seeing as Cyrus went threw all the trouble of protecting Harry over the summer... probably longer, knowing Cyrus' protective nature. He always was the tough one of the group...or as Remus would affectionately call them, the pack. Even before they really got to know Peter, Cyrus still took up from him when Snape and his gang were picking on the smaller, less-popular boy.
'Or that might've just been because he hated Snape so much, but who cares, really?' Remus thought, as he gently laid Harry on his bed and pulled the young Gryffindors shoes off. Once he had Harry under the covers and tucked in, Remus took a step back to look down at the child.
He didn't want Harry to get his hopes up just yet...but damn, was it hard. Remus thought to himself as he walked out of the Gryffindors common room. Harry deserved so much better. Better than those bastards of relatives he had...the thought of that....that...man trying to...to...it was too much. It made Remus want to rip up a good pair of black robes, kill the Dursley's and join Cyrus in his exile. But no, that was no good. It wouldn't do for Harry to have both of his potential parent figures staying mostly in the dark.
'Potential parent figures? Getting ahead of yourself, Remus?' Ahhh, there it was. That stupid little voice in the back of Remus mind, he knew it would rear its' ugly little head at some point during this year. It always did. And of course, as always, it was right. Remus needed to get to know Harry a little better first. Harry needed to know at least one of the few people his parents knew enough to trust him with, and by the looks of it, it was going to be Remus.
He headed back to the headmasters office to speak with the professor one last time before the term began. As he reached the gargoyle he was surprised to run right into professor Mcgonagall. There were tears in her eyes and she looked like she had been sobbing. She told Remus threw her soaked handkerchief that the headmaster was expecting him before she rushed down the corridor and out of sight. Remus watched her go in shock and felt the pit of his stomach fall out. He had never seen Mcgonagall cry out right. A tear or two during their graduation, when the pack declared that she was the only teacher who's wrath they really ever truly feared, a sniffle at the Potters funerals, but never out right. It was frightening.
He turned and quickly walked up into the headmaster's office.
"Remus." Dumbledore's voice had lost its usual whimsical tone and he sounded more regretful than Remus had ever seen him. The Headmaster wouldn't even look at him he was facing the fire.
"I am terribly sorry. I should have thought to check on him over the years. I never thought it was that bad ..."
"Its not your fault, sir." Remus cut in. "It's not anyone's fault but theirs."
"Yes, I suppose you're right." Dumbledore sighed. "Have you decided to file for custody again? Or do I even need to ask?"
"Yes." Remus said automatically. " Of course I do."
"Good." Dumbledore turned toward Remus. " I will help you this time, of course. As I understand it, werewolf adoptions are very hard to come-by."
Remus felt as if a large weight was just lifted off his chest as Dumbledore's usual wistful (and hopeful) tone reappeared.
"Thank you sir. I'll do everything in my power to get him, and I'm sure with your help, I'll succeed."
"I certainly hope so."
Neither saw nor heard the silent figure perched on the windowsill nod it's head in silent agreement with the two, its piercing blue eyes bobbing in the darkness that had surrounded the school hours before.
A/N - Was that long enough? I hope so. Does anyone else ever wonder what happened to the school song? I haven't seen it since the first book and I kinda miss it. Do you think we will ever hear it again?
I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE KILLED HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!! NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Sorry, I had to get that out)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: An alternate universe fic. Sirius didn't kill the 13 muggles. He only killed Peter, and was released from Prison after only10 years in there. Then he disappeared. Now, Harry's sparked interest in his missing godfather leads him to a man who calls Himself 'The Grim.'
A/N: I'M BBBBAAACCCCKKKK!!!! Forgive me, please, I'm so sorry! I place myself before your mercy and beg for forgiveness!!! I am SO SORRY!!!!! I've been trying to get my web page up but NOOOO... Anyway, I am extremely worried about my beta. She hasn't to my numerous E-mail's and I don't think her computer could be down THIS long (although, I could be wrong) If anyone knows anything about Snuffles, please tell me, I'm worried SICK!!!!!!
Since this isn't beta-read, it's going to suck; I re-read it over and over. I hope it's not to bad.
Disclaimer: I own nothing... no, literally. I'm broke.
The Wall, chapter 9
The ride to the castle was an unpleasant one, the carriage smelled like hey and the three of them had all ready talked themselves into silence on the train. But once they got out and into the castle. Their mood changed quickly. You couldn't help but smile and whisper to your fellow classmates in the well-lighted great hall.
After a 'quick' sorting, and the proper introduction of professor Lupin to the Hogwarts staff, As well as (to the three friends thrill) Hagrid, taking on the job of care of magical creatures. The large beginning-of-the year feast began. As Harry and the others began to stuff their faces Harry noticed a few heads turn towards him with wide eyes and pity and he felt his stomach lurch.
'Has word traveled that fast?' he thought to himself. ' Do the teachers know?'
Judging by the looks on their faces, they did. Harry couldn't bear to look at Mcgonagal. And Dumbledore... Harry managed a mili-second glance at the headmaster and saw Dumbledore looking at him with a strange expression Harry had never seen before. He hadn't been able to finish his food after that. He put his fork down but kept his eyes toward his food, trying his best not to howl in frustration and to ignore the looks on the others faces and to tune out Ron and Hermiones concerned questions.
When he looked up again it was to see that most of the student body had finished eating. Dumbledore then stood and made the annual announcements, the school song was sung (See authors note at bottom). And then he bid them good night. Harry, along with the rest of the school, stood and began to file out the door, all except Hermione, who was called up to the teachers' table to where Mcgonagall sat and they spoke for a few moments before she turned and headed back toward Ron and Harry, who had waited for her.
"What was that all about?" Ron asked as the three of them began to walk out toward their fellow students out of the Hall.
"Nothing." Hermione said, but she was blushing furiously and apparently couldn't stop smiling, " She just wanted to talk to me about my schedule."
Ron rolled his eyes and stole a glance at Harry, who hadn't said two words during the feast.
"You ok?"
" Huh? Yeah, I'm fine..."
" HARRY!"
Harry mentally groaned and turned around to see professor Lupin running toward them.
"I'm sorry, Harry, but professor Dumbledore wants to talk to you in his office." Lupin grimaced at his own words as he looked at Harry's expression.
'Why can't this wait?' Remus thought
If ever Harry thought he was going to throw up that night, now was the time. But he swallowed what little food he had eaten, told Ron and Hermione to go on with out him and then he followed Lupin down the stairs.
"This won't take long." Lupin reassured him. " And you'll feel better once you talk about it."
Harry held back the thought to set Lupin right and nodded.
"And besides, you'll be talking to Dumbledore, and talking to Dumbledore is not like talking to anyone else."
Despite himself, Harry smiled.
"That's true, I wonder why that is."
"It's all in the beard." Lupin smiled down at him, and this time Harry outright laughed.
"Why do you say that?"
"My grandfather had the same type of beard, long and swishy. " He made a motion as if to twirl his fingers in an imaginary beard of his own as Harry stifled a laugh." I would tell that man anything, he was bed ridden when I was little and I used to run to him whenever I was in trouble. My parents ...didn't like me that much. He was the only reason they kept me, I think. So, when he died. My father left me at this house with a bunch of people even HE didn't know. I was five at the time."
Harry couldn't help but gasp. "That's awful."
Lupin shook his head. " No it wasn't, it was the best thing he ever did for me. Turns out the family that took me in had a soft spot for ...orphans."
Harry smiled, not bothering to ask why Lupin was being so open about this. It was most certainly not required that new professors spill their past experiences to students, least of all Harry.
"Who were your adoptive family?"
But Harry's question was never answered. They had arrived at the gargoyle. Lupin muttered the password and led Harry into Dumbledores' office.
Dumbledore sat behind his desk, a strange, closed expression on his face. The usual friendly twinkle was still in his eyes, but it was dulled, somehow. As if the headmasters eyes themselves knew that their host was about to do something most unpleasant. This did not comfort Harry at all. He walked slowly to one of the two high back chairs the headmaster was gesturing to. Mcgonagall sat in the other, beside Harry. She, too, looked as though she was going to be ill. Lupin stood beside Harry, and Harry felt better somehow, knowing he was there.
"Hello, Harry." Dumbledore smiled slightly, and were it not for the deadened twinkle in his eyes Harry would have thought it was genuine. Even so, Harry tried to make his own fake smile look real, and he muttered a very small 'hello professor' before looking down at his hands.
"I am sorry, Harry." Dumbledore said quietly, and he sounded as though he really meant it. " I know you wish to avoid discussing this. But we must know what happened at the train station, and during the summer. If you think you're up to it."
'Of course I'm not up to it.' Harry thought bitterly. 'Would you be?'
Despite what was going on inside his head, Harry nodded and swallowed what little courage he had and looked up, right into the elderly wizards eyes.
"There's nothing to tell, really, sir." He started. "I ran away from home during the summer and he was upset, he knew I was going to be there, at the station, he just wanted to get the final word in the argument, I guess."
"Did he try to hit you?" Dumbledore's voice was soft, yet it had an undertone to it that made the hairs on the back of Harry's neck stand up.
"Y...yes, sir." Mcgonagall made a motion, as if to say something, but a glance from Dumbledore silenced her.
Dumbledore turned his attention back to Harry. "Has he ever tried to hit you before? Or threatened to?"
Memories flooded Harry like a title wave. All the years of abuse and neglect coupled into one giant ball of pain and misery swirling over and over again in Harry's mind unbeknownst to the others in the room.
His third birthday that was when he first noticed that something wasn't right about the way he was being treated. That was when he first asked what had happened to his parents. He supposed that he had seemed old enough then (Harry was very mature then, despite his small size) to take the occasional hit on the side of the head, and the painful pinch of his shoulder or even sometimes boxing his ears. He had been locked in his cupboard countless times and denied food for two days at a time, but never longer that that, for some reason.
But he hadn't been out right hit until he was ten; it was the python incident at the zoo that had caused his uncle to do it. He had been so furious with him. Looking back, Harry supposed that was because Vernon knew what was coming, that he, Harry, was soon going to be able to defend himself with 'Black magic'.
"Harry, Harry? I'll ask you again. Did your uncle ever try to hit you before, or threatened to hit you, before now?"
When Dudley turned five they had gone to a park, but Miss Figg was ill. So Harry was locked in his cupboard, he remembered lying there, crying for hours until they got home. He didn't really know why he cried, self-pity, he supposed. When they got home, they...they had forgotten about him. For hours, Harry was lying there, trying to calm himself, if they heard him in there, walling in self-pity...well, Harry rather not be found at all...but they never came to let him out. Dudley was having a sleep over and Harry could hear them in the living room talking about how great a day they had had. What they were going to do for the rest of the summer...and Aunt Petunia had started to bring them homemade treats. Harry could smell them from his cupboard.
"Harry? Harry, are you all right?"
When he was seven, they had gone to the Dursley family reunion. How Harry had hated it. He was left in the pool with Dudley and his cousins, who were very like Dudley themselves. They had decided to play 'Harry drowning', which was like ' Harry hunting' except that there was no running in the pool area, so Harry had no chance. They had held him under the water for too long, and he blacked out. Harry could remember hearing someone calling his name... Harry was for certain it was his father, calling to him. But once he woke up, Uncle Vernon said it was only the lifeguard, trying to revive him. He seemed furious with the idea of Harry's parents waiting for him in the after life...
Harry had found out later that Vernon had lied. The lifeguard didn't know his name. He kept calling him Henry. He had been on duty the next day and asked Harry (Henry) if he was okay. It had been very comforting, somehow, to know that the lifeguard didn't know his name... But someone else did.
"Harry!?"
Harry shook his head and came back to Dumbledore's office with a rather unpleasant 'thump'
"Yes." He mumbled. Dumbledore leaned across his desk and again had that strange expression on his face.
" What?"
"Yes." Harry mumbled again, a bit louder this time. But Dumbledore still looked as though he hadn't heard him.
"Harry. You're going to have to...."
"He said yes, headmaster."
It was professor Lupin. There was a strange, steely note in his voice that Harry had never heard a person use toward the Headmaster before.
Dumbledore's attention turned toward Lupin in a rather calm expression. Mcgonagall looked scandalized.
" I am well aware of what Harry said, Remus. But he needs to speak louder, anyway. He needs to know that he said yes."
" He knows." Lupin growled threatenly.
In truth, Harry's mind had been going very slowly since he had been asked the question. But the way Lupin and Dumbledore's conversation was going he figured he had better put his feet firmly back on the ground.
"Professor Lupin." Harry said, in a quiet voice. Looking up at Lupin, who had put his hand on Harry's shoulder " He... He's right; I'm not really paying attention to what I'm saying. But I am now. "
Harry turned his attention back to Professor Dumbledore. "Yes," Harry said, more loudly and more clearly than he had before. "He's.....that is to say, Vernon. Has hit me before. He has threatened me before. He..."
Another memory was surfacing, one Harry quickly pushed down. He had blocked that horrible incident out of his thoughts and memories and he had no intention of bring it back.
Dumbledore, however, had other intentions.
"Yes?"
Harry's mind had started back again and was now going back and forth in a very heated inner argument.
'NO!! NO NO NO!! I SHOULDN'T TELL HIM!!! IT'S WRONG!!!! VERNON SAID IT WAS PARTLY MY FAULT AND IT WAS!!!'
On the other side of his brain though....
'OF COURSE YOU SHOULD TELL HIM!!!!! HE HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW!!!! HE CAN FIX IT!!!! IT'S F***ING DUMBLEDORE!!!! HE CAN FIX ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!'
This argument went on for a few minutes and Dumbledore sighed. He stood up and walked around his desk, where he knelt down to Harry's eye level.
" You can tell us, Harry. It's all right. I promise. The papers won't know. Your fellow students won't know. All we need to know is what he did...." Dumbledore said this very quietly
"He...He tried to... to ..." Dumbledore's eyes flashed for a millisecond in deep focus, and Harry felt as though he had just been put under a warm blanket. He still felt afraid. But he wasn't cold... He wasn't alone...
"He tried to well, you know..." Harry voice sounded stronger than he felt. He supposed it was Dumbledore's silent spell, it felt like a phoenix call really...
" He didn't actually do it, but he tried. I...I was eight. He was angry with me for something... I forgot.....He......He locked me in my cupboard without punishing me. I thought I had gotten off, which wasn't right. He waited until it was dark and I heard him come back down stairs. He tried...he tried to....... I used magic...by accident. He was flung against the wall. I didn't know what to do. He started to yell at me. He said that it was my fault. He said that I had bewitched him. I didn't know what he meant until later. He never tried again. I've tried not to think about it. " He paused. "Until now."
Harry stopped and looked up into professor Dumbledore's crystal blue eyes. Something strange was happening to him. He could still feel the calm, soothing effect of Dumbledore's silent spell...was it a spell? He didn't hear Dumbledore speak ... well, whatever it was it was now making him wish he had just said 'no' to Lupin and had gone on to bed. He was sleepier now than he had been before he came up here and he wished that they would just hurry it up and get on with it.
Dumbledore nodded to him and gave Harry a small smile.
"I think that's enough, Harry. I'm ...I'm very proud of what you have just done. And I'm sorry you had to do it. You've earned a good sleep. Remus, would you mind taking him up to Gryffindor tower? I don't believe it's safe to let him go on his own, he looks dead on his feet...my fault, I'm afraid..."
Lupin nodded and helped Harry to his feet. Harry moaned softly. He really wanted to go to sleep. He started to lean on Professor Lupin heavily and nearly tripped on the way down the stares, by the time they got to the end of the hall, Lupin just swept down and started to carry Harry the rest of the way. There was a struggle at first for Harry 's part. He was blushing furiously and muttering in his now almost-asleep state. But Lupin was stronger than he looked and he did not yield. Finally Harry gave up and laid his head on Lupin's chest.
" You know what Harry?" Lupin said, as they were starting down the hall that ended in the Gryffindors portrait entrance, more to himself than to the sleeping Harry. " I think I would have killed this man if I had had the chance. It's kind of scary, really. Your godfather is usually the one who...takes care of things like this. He ...well, you've met him. Let's just say that they don't call him the 'grim ripper' for nothing..."
"What did you say?" Harry mumbled, looking up from the folds of Lupin's robes.
Lupin paled, he had thought that Harry had fallen asleep.
" 'bout my gowdfader. 'Id you know em?" (Did I just intentionally mis- spell something? What is this world coming to?) It was obvious that Harry was about to fall asleep. He could barley keep his eyes open, and for that Lupin was grateful.
" Yes."
"Hmm." That was all Harry managed before he slipped back into Lupin's robes and fell asleep.
Lupin sighed and mentally slapped himself. He would have to watch himself in front of Harry. Or anyone. He had almost let it slip earlier. And now he did let it slip, and term hadn't even started yet! Thank god for the side effects of 'comforting charms'.
It wasn't that Lupin didn't want Harry to know about him. Well, he did know about him, but ... well, you understand. It was just...12 years of trying... 18 failed attempts to get custody. He didn't want Harry to get his hopes up. Hell, Lupin was trying to get his hopes down. All the times he had tried to give Harry what he deserved, a home, and had been denied...Of course, Cyrus hadn't been a factor in those attempts, and Remus wasn't for sure he would be of any help in this attempt. But the fact that Cyrus was there gave Remus a little courage. That was the power of friendship, Remus supposed. Cyrus made Remus feel braver than he actually was, especially concerning Harry. Seeing as Cyrus went threw all the trouble of protecting Harry over the summer... probably longer, knowing Cyrus' protective nature. He always was the tough one of the group...or as Remus would affectionately call them, the pack. Even before they really got to know Peter, Cyrus still took up from him when Snape and his gang were picking on the smaller, less-popular boy.
'Or that might've just been because he hated Snape so much, but who cares, really?' Remus thought, as he gently laid Harry on his bed and pulled the young Gryffindors shoes off. Once he had Harry under the covers and tucked in, Remus took a step back to look down at the child.
He didn't want Harry to get his hopes up just yet...but damn, was it hard. Remus thought to himself as he walked out of the Gryffindors common room. Harry deserved so much better. Better than those bastards of relatives he had...the thought of that....that...man trying to...to...it was too much. It made Remus want to rip up a good pair of black robes, kill the Dursley's and join Cyrus in his exile. But no, that was no good. It wouldn't do for Harry to have both of his potential parent figures staying mostly in the dark.
'Potential parent figures? Getting ahead of yourself, Remus?' Ahhh, there it was. That stupid little voice in the back of Remus mind, he knew it would rear its' ugly little head at some point during this year. It always did. And of course, as always, it was right. Remus needed to get to know Harry a little better first. Harry needed to know at least one of the few people his parents knew enough to trust him with, and by the looks of it, it was going to be Remus.
He headed back to the headmasters office to speak with the professor one last time before the term began. As he reached the gargoyle he was surprised to run right into professor Mcgonagall. There were tears in her eyes and she looked like she had been sobbing. She told Remus threw her soaked handkerchief that the headmaster was expecting him before she rushed down the corridor and out of sight. Remus watched her go in shock and felt the pit of his stomach fall out. He had never seen Mcgonagall cry out right. A tear or two during their graduation, when the pack declared that she was the only teacher who's wrath they really ever truly feared, a sniffle at the Potters funerals, but never out right. It was frightening.
He turned and quickly walked up into the headmaster's office.
"Remus." Dumbledore's voice had lost its usual whimsical tone and he sounded more regretful than Remus had ever seen him. The Headmaster wouldn't even look at him he was facing the fire.
"I am terribly sorry. I should have thought to check on him over the years. I never thought it was that bad ..."
"Its not your fault, sir." Remus cut in. "It's not anyone's fault but theirs."
"Yes, I suppose you're right." Dumbledore sighed. "Have you decided to file for custody again? Or do I even need to ask?"
"Yes." Remus said automatically. " Of course I do."
"Good." Dumbledore turned toward Remus. " I will help you this time, of course. As I understand it, werewolf adoptions are very hard to come-by."
Remus felt as if a large weight was just lifted off his chest as Dumbledore's usual wistful (and hopeful) tone reappeared.
"Thank you sir. I'll do everything in my power to get him, and I'm sure with your help, I'll succeed."
"I certainly hope so."
Neither saw nor heard the silent figure perched on the windowsill nod it's head in silent agreement with the two, its piercing blue eyes bobbing in the darkness that had surrounded the school hours before.
A/N - Was that long enough? I hope so. Does anyone else ever wonder what happened to the school song? I haven't seen it since the first book and I kinda miss it. Do you think we will ever hear it again?
I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE KILLED HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!! NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Sorry, I had to get that out)