Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z or Dragon Ball GT or any of its characters. I do not own Bridget Jones's Diary, written by Helen Fielding
Bulma Briefs's Diary
Chapter 11
October
HA!
2 October
125 lbs. Alcohol units: none. Cigarettes: 11. Calories: 2007. Thoughts about Vegeta: 1472 (approx. av. p/s). Positive thoughts: 1472. Negative thoughts: none. Time spent on counting thoughts: 1 min. (v.g.!)
Noon. CC offices: Ah... Life is good. I'm feeling really happy.
Well... Who wouldn't be? I've managed to tame a beast!
HA! I CAN BE SOOOO POWERFUL!!!!!!!!!!! HAAAAA!!!!
3 October
125 lbs. Alcohol units: 2. Cigarettes: 14. Calories: 1981. Thoughts about Vegeta: Oh, thousands...
Early Afternoon. CC. My room: Returned home early from the office. My head aches.
Vegeta entered the kitchen just as I was having an aspirin... Of course I almost choked, he can be so fucking silent...
- I need to have the GT room upgraded...
- Right now?
- Can't wait... The sooner the better. We are running out of time.
I was rubbing my temple.
- What's the matter? Won't you complain?
- My head aches too much to complain.
He got closer to me and took my hand off my temple and placed his own hand on the side of my head. I closed my eyes, feeling a little uncomfortable still not used to his touch. His hands were cool and the pain seemed to vanish magically.
Maybe it was the nervousness that was taking over me that made the pain disappear and not some outer-space powers he had...
I didn't know what to do but stay still, not wanting that moment to end despite the uneasiness I was feeling.
- Is that better? – His voice was his usual, unaffected. I hummed as an answer.
- Good... Now you can start working on the ship- He said. His touch gone. The feeling gone. The pain back. There was no magic in that...
I grinned angrily.
- Right- I said trying to show I was not happy with his order in disguise.
- Whenever you want- He said smirking- As long as you want to do it now.
- RIGHT! - I said throwing my arms at my side.
He got closer once more.
- What? – He said sarcastically- Do you have a problem with that?
- What do you think?
He grinned-
- Good. Things were getting too peaceful round here...
And he left...
He's such an asshole. I ended up laughing.
Late night. CC. My room: Spent all afternoon in bed, my head was killing me.
But I'm feeling better right now and I'm going to get something to eat. Oops, the door...
4 October
Early, early morning. CC. My room: Have to be really quiet. Don't want to wake up Vegeta. YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, shit... He's waking up...
Late morning. CC. My room: OH! OH! YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!
I really have to congratulate myself over this. It's all thanks to my charms, of course.
Last night just as I was recovering from my headache, Vegeta knocked the door.
He sat on the edge of my bed and would not talk to me for a while.
Tired of this silence, I finally spoke.
- All right... I'll ask... Why are you here?
- You were here all day
- Yes... Am I not entitled to, your Highness?
- Are you sick?
- My head ached
- I know
- Then why do you ask?
- All day?
- All day what?
- Did-your-head-ached-all-day?
Right. He was loosing his patience. I had to quit playing fool.
- Yes, Vegeta. I decided to stay in bed all day so I can be all right tomorrow, since you want me to upgrade the GT room.
- It can wait.
- You said it couldn't
- It can if you are not feeling well. Are you feeling well now?
I nodded, not sure if he was being kind or sarcastic...
- Were you worried about me?
He didn't answer; instead he stood up and walked straight to me. He held me with one arm, fist time he touches me like that. And then he kissed me.
Kami, I was so not ready for this Vegeta that I was shaking.
- What's wrong? – He asked me, ending the kiss- Are you cold?
- Uh?- I asked stupidly.
- Are you...?
But he couldn't finish cause I started kissing him like mad.
The next thing I know is we were over each other like animals.
He seemed clumsy at first, but once clothes were gone, it was quite good.
Well... Maybe not all that good.
He's not a great lover. He's either too selfish or too inexperienced. I don't think I'll ever know.
But I can't care less. I had a great time and it felt absolutely amazing. I wonder if this is how love feels like...
Late night. CC. My room: KAMI... Mum came to me earlier.
- Dearest... Do you know where Vegeta slept last night?
I would, of course, play fool...
- Didn't he sleep in his room?
- No
- And may I ask how the hell do you know that?
- Well... – She said smiling dreamily- you see... Every night I enter his room very silently and take a glimpse of him as he sleeps... Once a week I take a photograph and...
- MUM!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S SOOOO MUCH MORE THAN CREEPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT...!? ARE YOU... ?! WHAT KIND OF FREAK ARE YOU?????!!!!!!!!!!
- Oh, dearest – She said laughing- When you are my age you'll find different ways to fantasise. Did you know he sleeps naked?
- MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHA...YOU...I CAN'T...
- Oh, anyway- she said, as I was still in shock- the crucial matter is he didn't sleep in his room. And I'm a little worried cause I haven't seen him in all day...
- He's in the training ship.
- How can you tell?
- Mum... The lights on the thing are on. Besides, I saw him this morning. He told me he would train all day and I spent half the day repairing some robots he destroyed as if these were the real androids... AAAANd I spent a considerable time trying to increase the G's in that FUCKING machine for him to train harder.
- Oh, well... I was just worried. Now... Would you like some ice cream? You must be tired and hungry. You were up most of the night and working hard all day...
- What are you talking about? – I said trying to sound unaffected.
- Your lights were on when I went to check on Vegeta...
- Oh... Don't remember...
- Strawberry and Chocolate
- Yes, please
- Strawberries?
- Yes please
- Chocolate syrup?
- Yes please
- Was he a good fuck?
- Yes, plea... MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Oh, sweetheart. You don't need to play fool on me. We are a small family and we hardly have any secrets- she chirped while se handle me the ice-cream and I was trying to recover movement on the superior part of my body.
Before I could even blink, she was out of the kitchen.
Of course we can't have any secrets. She probably has hidden cameras all over the house.
What kind of freak is my mother...?
I can't believe it...
Anyway. Don't even want to see Vegeta. I spent all day fixing his fucking machine.
WHY AM I COMPLAINING? I had sex with him last night!
I should be thankful...
OOOO, Kami... This is it!... GOODBYE SPINSTERHOOD. Wow... Haven't noticed.
HA, DESTINY! I HAVE CHANGED YOU! HAHAHAHAHA! THAT KID FROM THE FUTURE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE! I TOO CAN CHANGE THE FUTURE!!!
Ahem... A little sanity here, please...
9 October
120 lbs. (burning fat with sex). Alcohol units: none (replaced booze with sex). Cigarettes: 15 (all post-coital). Calories: 534 (replaced food with sex).
Late morning. CC. My room: My whole body aches.
Alright... I have to be fair... He's a God of sex...
It's funny how everything returns to normal once out of the bedroom.
Ok... He can be a pain in the ass (NOT LITERALLY, OF COURSE) But then he makes it up to me later... HEHEHE...
10 October
120 lbs. (still fighting off weight armed with sex). Alcohol units: 3 (needed my daily dose). Cigarettes: 33 (geez... all post-coital). Calories: None (OH... MUST-HAVE-SOMETHING-TO-EAT). Birth control pills: 27 (hmm... just in case)
Early morning. CC. My room: Oh, thanks Kami... He's taking a bath. My parents are out of the house. And Vegeta's in the mood... Oh, he's good...
13 October
119 lbs. (Wish I had known that fat disappears while having a boyfriend). Alcohol units: 5. Cigarettes: 14. Calories: 1207
Morning. CC offices: Had to get away from home.
But I miss Vegeta.
It's all so sudden.
It seems yesterday that I was taking care of him after the explosion of the gravity ship.
Oh, shit... YAMUCHA!. Totally forgot about him...
Oh well... who knows how long my Vegeta thing will last.
Maybe if that doesn't work I can go back with Yamucha.
But I don't think so... It would be like... having to drink cheap whine after you've had good vodka... Or like smoking cheap cigarettes after you've smoked the most expensive ones... Or like eating frozen strawberries after you've tried fresh ones... It would be having Yamucha after having Vegeta...
WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT??? I have just started this thing with Vegeta and I'm already thinking 'bout breaking up???
Breaking up... Yeah... Breaking up what?... What's going on between the two of us?... Is he my boyfriend?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I can't hold my laughter...
VEGETA... BOYFRIEND!... HAHAHAHAHA...
Oh... I really should get to work.
As if I could.
15 October
119 lbs. Alcohol units: 1. Cigarettes: 2. Calories: 971. Pills: 12 (seriously running out)
Late morning. CC. Kitchen: Had a serious conversation with Vegeta.
I was having a cigarette as he stared at nothingness... Usual...
- What are you thinking about?
- I should be training right now...
I said nothing. I0ve decided not to interfere with his training. Actually, I decided I'd try to help him.
- Are you getting any stronger?
He side-smiled.
- Do you think the androids will be stronger than Freezer?
- The kid said so. But I'm stronger than Freezer now... but...
- Not stronger than Goku.
He nodded slowly.
- I should go train in space. There are too many restrictions in this planet.
I know he meant that somehow I was interrupting his training. But he said so in such a way that made me understand he wasn't trying to offend me. He was explaining his distance...
- Well... Nothing ties you to this planet...
- Not something. Someone. But I can still improve in here. When the time comes that I consider useless to stay in here, then I'll leave. Not before... It would be a waste of time.
- Can I ask you something?
He looked at me and nodded.
- Can you let me know when you are leaving this time?
He grinned.
- Don't you like surprises?
- I was fucking worried when you left. I didn't know whether you were dead or alive.
He stood up and walked straight to the window, where I was having my cigarette.
- In case you didn't notice, things are different now...
- Don't worry, Bulma. I'll let you know.
He kissed me softly.
- FREEZE!
- WHAT???
All we could see was a flash.
- Lovely, kids!... Oh... Here's something to show to my grandchildren...
- MUM! OUT!!!!!!!!!
21 October
118 lbs. Alcohol units: 3. Cigarettes: 3 Calories: 1215
Noon. CC offices: Feel really sleepy. I really need to get some sleep.
Fortunately (and unfortunately) Vegeta will sleep in his own room from tomorrow on cause he will be waking up really early... And... Well, that's way too early for me.
Besides, I can do without sex for a couple of weeks... months... Actually, I can do without sex for considerable amount of years...
22 October
Too tired to weight myself. Too tired to pour myself a drink. Too tired to light a cigarette. Too tired to count calories.
Oh, Kami... He's improved so much...
MUST-HAVE-COFFEE
24 October
118 lbs. Alcohol units: 4. Cigarettes: 17. Calories: 1236. Negative thoughts: 214
10.00 p.m. CC. Kitchen: Been haunted all day by gloomy thoughts. "What if...?s" crowd my mind.
I'm pretty sure Vegeta's going to get really strong and defeat the androids... Well... Actually... I'm pretty sure Goku will defeat the androids... But I'm sure Vegeta will increase their chances to defeat those machines.
I realised I trust Vegeta blindly. That cannot be good.
27 October
119 lbs. Alcohol units: 5. Cigarettes: 10. Calories: 2072
10.00 p.m. CC. My room: I'm officially bored.
29 October
118 lbs. Alcohol units: 3. Cigarettes: 4. Calories: 2071
Noon. CC laboratories: Talked to Vegeta yesterday while I was washing up. He asked me about his Saiyan outfit and armour. He asked to analyse the fibres of the fabric and see if there's any chance to make more outfits with similar characteristics. He said those things protect the body very effectively.
He also asked me to make some armour based on the one he brought from Namek.
I said I'd see what I could do.
Now that I'm analysing the fibres I know it'll be difficult. But I'll work night and day...
Early afternoon. CC laboratories: Ok... Maybe I'll work all day and sooome nights...
Afternoon. CC. Laboratories: Oh well... Maybe I'll work on them only during the day...
Late afternoon. CC. Laboratories: Or maybe some days a week...
Early night. CC. Laboratories: It can wait.
31 October
120 lbs. Alcohol units: 3. Cigarettes: 73. Calories: 2002
Lovely month. Great month. Life is good. At last! No Longer a tragic spinster...
I have the man I love... I'm perfectly happy...
Nothing could ever ruin this.
Well... Maybe some androids....
And maybe Vegeta...
Yeah... ALMOST nothing could ever ruin this.
Author's note: And yet, another chapter... I did say I would be uploading all remaining chapters after my absence.
Right... Bout this one little chapter
Ugh... Though decision. I wanted Bulma and Vegeta to take it really easy (meaning: No sex for a while) but then I started calculating days and months and there wasn't time for Trunks to be born if I had written the chapter as I had initially planned. So... There you go...
Messy, but nice.