Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z or Dragon Ball GT or any of its characters. I do not own Bridget Jones's Diary, written by Helen Fielding
Bulma Briefs's Diary
Chapter 12
November
Oh, Kami Sama
2 November
122 lbs. Alcohol units: none. Cigarettes: none. Calories: 4222
Late night. CC. My room: Ok... I'm late. Not too late... But late...
But I have to calm down... I've been taking too many pills to expect my body to work properly.
Nothing to panic...
7 November
All right... Start panicking.
No, no, no... Stop panicking...
I'll check with a professional... TODAY
8 November
Ok... Resume panic. I AM PREGNANT
Pregnant... With Vegeta's child... Well... I don't know what to make of this...
9 November
Just told Mum. She's now in the middle of her personal celebration. Don't even want to describe it... Grotesque...
There's only one little problem... I still have to tell Vegeta.
I think I'll wear armour. A helmet at least...
Yes... A helmet.
Maybe I'll just leave a note for him
Late night. CC. My room: There's nothing to fear... Don't think he'll be too mad... Really...
10 November
122 lbs. Alcohol units: none. Cigarettes: none. Calories: 7572 (have to eat for two now... Actually, since the baby has Saiyan genes, I should eat for four...)
Early morning. CC. My room: Spoke to Vegeta last night. It was unavoidable after Mum's unstoppable comments and songs during dinner...
- Dearest!... You've eaten so much! I'm so happy!!!!!!!!!!
- Yeah... Hehehe...
- I'll help you, you'll see!!! I'm OVERJOYED!!!!!
Vegeta didn't say a word. He was concentrated in eating.
Once we had finished eating, Mum got started again...
- Oh, dearest! I'll do the washing up! You just rest! Oh... I'm so happy... Aren't you happy, Daddy?
My father just nodded as he gave me an odd glance and almost choked his little cat...
She washed up singing a lullaby and after that, Mum and Dad were gone.
- Coffee? – I asked Vegeta as if nothing happened.
- I'm not stupid, you know? I'm not like Kakarotto.
- What do you mean?
- What was that all about?
- Vegeta... – I said sitting next to him, not really knowing where to begin.
I stayed silent for a while. And then an uncomfortable silence covered me as if fog.
- I'm growing old in here.
- I'm pregnant- I said without further introduction.
And then it was his turn to go silent.
- And I care because...? – He finally said.
I just stared at him. Trying to articulate a word. My tongue paralysed.
- Bee... Because... You are the father...?
- I am perfectly aware of that.
- Oh...- I said blankly – I thought you'd... I'd... I just wanted you to know...
- Fine.
- Fine
And he left me alone in the kitchen. Clutching my shirt. Speechless.
And he hasn't talked to me ever since.
But I am not sad.
I know him now. I know he's playing the hard soldier on me. He still has an image to keep.
BASTARD! NOONE TREATS MY BABY LIKE THAT...
Oh, mine... Hope she or he does not look after Vegeta. He can have such a scary face... No one would want to be with my baby!
Oh, Kami Sama...
11 November
120 lbs. Alcohol units: none. Cigarettes: none. Calories: 4217
Vegeta's been avoiding me. I know it. He's annoyed. That too I know.
Nor sure but I feel that every time I look at him he's giving me one of his I-HATE-YOU-BITCH stares.
Well... Shit happens. If he's not happy about the baby then the Hell with him. I AM.
I LOVE MY BABY. And it can grow up without a stubborn father. This baby can do without Vegeta.
The question is Can I do without Vegeta?
I HATE HIM!!!
17 November
124 lbs. Alcohol units: none (Damn! I would love to have a drink...). Cigarettes: none (Damn! I would love to have a cigarette). Calories: 2972
I hate Vegeta... It's not as if he was so important. I'm sweet. I'm smart. I'm sexy. I'm a fucking dream!... AND I'M FUCKING PREGNANT WITH HIS FUCKING CHILD!
HE CAN'T IGNORE ME LIKE THIS... I WON'T LET HIM!
OOOO... HE'S FUCKING DEAD...
18 November
124 lbs. Alcohol units: none. Cigarettes: none. Calories: 3002. Fantastic outburst of rage consequence of hormonal change: 1
10.00 p.m.: Ah... I decided to go and yell at Vegeta. I fell really well.
I went to the ship and turned it off without warning. I don't really know at how many G's he was training, but there was a huge THUMP!.
I kicked the door open and didn't give him time to complain.
- LISTEN YOU, UNDEVELOPED MONKEY! I'M PREGNANT WITH YOUR CHILD. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WETHER YOU CARE OR NOT, BUT I AM FUCKING PREGNANT. IT'S YOUR FAULT!... YOURS AND YOUR FUCKING SAIYAN, ABNORMAL BIRTH-CONTOL-PILL- PROOF SPERM! YOU ARE NOT TIED TO ME OR TO THE CHILD, BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO START TREATENING ME BETTER CAUSE I'M IN A TENDER MOOD. DO YOU HEAR ME?
I NEED LOVE, ASSHOLE! LOVE AND FUCKING SWEETNESS!!! ONCE INA WHILE YOU WILL HAVE TO TALK TO ME, ASK ME HOW I'M DOING, CAUSE I'M FUCKING TENDER!
Of course, by then I had trashed half the place and Vegeta could not do anything bur stare.
- DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY? NO!!!! SEE YOU LATER!
I didn't want to turn back... I'm sure I was shining...
Later night. CC. My room: Vegeta came in just a while ago. He was wearing THAT face I hate so much. His only scary face to me.
- Can I talk or will you yell at me?
- No. I'm pretty done with what I had to say.
- Well... I haven't been around much lately cause I am training to defend your planet, if you can recall. I really don't give a damn about your being pregnant. Nothing can be done about that. I didn't want this. I didn't want this sort of tie to your planet. But now I have to face the consequences of my actions. I'm not planning to run away from responsibilities. I never thought of doing so. But you can't change me, simply cause I can't change the way I am nor I want to change. I see that this pregnancy thing will demand a lot of my time. That's the reason why I have to make a better use of it. And, though I consider it's degrading to have to justify my behaviour, I believe you deserve some sort of explanation, since you are intimately related to me now.
I was about to say something when he made a wave his hand to stop me.
- I know you care about me. That you have feelings for me. And that you trust me. I feel touched by this, I ought to admit. I consider it important for you to know that I answer to those feelings, but there's no way I can be what you expect.
He was finished.
- Can I talk now? – He nodded- how long have you been practising your speech?
- Four hours
- Right. Now... There's something you should know. What I said earlier was true. But I should have had a civilised conversation with you. I am under the influence of my hormones...
He was paying attention.
- Sometimes I will say things I don't really mean... I don't want to tie you to me in any way. You are free to do whatever you want. Always been. I know you want to fight the androids and Goku... After that you are free to go to space and create your own evil army or whatever you want to do...
He nodded.
- You lost 4 hours thinking bout your speech?
- Don't ever remind me of that, woman. I had never taken so much trouble for anyone. I expect you'll appreciate it...
- I do, I do...
And that was it. Once again he left me to my thoughts...
23 November
124 lbs. Alcohol units: none (I will have to catch up after the baby's born). Cigarettes: none (Miss it... but quite happy I quitted). Calories: Not sure because of massive chain-vomiting attack. Names for babies I've come up to: 2001 (av. p/day)
10.00 a.m. CC. My room: I don't FEEL pregnant. I fell old. But not pregnant... Hmmm...
Am I really pregnant?
11.00 a.m. CC. Kitchen: Hummm... I AM pregnant. And hungry.
26 November
123 lbs. (one is supposed to gain weight during pregnancy, not to loose weight!). Neither alcohol nor tobacco. Calories: Too complex to explain.
Vegeta is again sleeping in my room. I don't really want him to move his stuff here cause I don't want to be awoken everyday at the crack or morning. But I'm kinda happy he's decided to sleep here for a while and give me all the fucking sweetness and tenderness I demand...
I'm carrying the child of a mass-murderer on my womb. How shocking can that be?
OH, OH... HOW SHOCKING IT'LL BE TO EVERYONE! I'll be the centre of attention!
HEHEHEHEHE!!!!
28 November
125 lbs. Alcohol units: none. Cigarettes: zero. Calories: 3421.
Late night. CC. Kitchen: Even though Vegeta's been sleeping in my room he has hardly said a word.
Ok... Maybe he's a little shocked. I'd really like to know if he's taken a decision regarding what he's going to do after the androids are defeated.
What if something horrible happens and Vegeta's killed?... OH, KAMI... I'LL BE A SINGLE MUM... Shit... I AM A SINGLE MUM ALREADY!!!!!!
Shit...
29 November
125 lbs. Alcohol units: none. Cigarettes: none. Calories: 2994
Early morning. CC. My room: I don't feel pregnant... IT'S AWFUL!!!!!
It's awful to be pregnant and not felling like a pregnant woman...
Kami... Mum's been shopping... Pregnancy clothes... OH... This dress is nice... And it fits a circus inside... Hmm...
Good thing... I won't suffer PMS for a while...
Am I happy...? ... About this baby I mean... Am I happy?
If I felt pregnant I would be... WOULDN'T I????
The only sign of pregnancy are the industrial amounts of vomit I produce every morning.
And of course... some outburst of hormones.
Awww... My baby needs a father... And I need Vegeta... Is that too much to ask? It's a simple equation.
Bulma + Vegeta = Baby, then Vegeta= father
Now... How crooked can a baby grow old if raised by Vegeta?... Spooky...
Shit... I'll have to take care of his education... Don't think Vegeta will pay any attention to the baby... That's if he's still around...
30 November
125 lbs. Alcohol units: none. Cigarettes: none. Calories: 4702
3.00 p.m. CC. Kitchen: Mum has told all her girlfriends about my pregnancy. I managed to tell her not to say a word about it if Yamucha or any of the others show up.
I wonder what they are all up to...
YESSS... I'm pregnant...
And I'm actually happy... I FEEL pregnant... I'll be a MUM.
HELLO, BABY! I'm your mommy...
HA! I'M PREGNANT...!
Author's note: Thanks God I wrote all my notes in class... (That kinda explains the disastrous results in my exams... KIDDING... They were just fine!)
Well... The hard part. For all of you against Birth-control pills, I'm sorry but I had this planned for a while. Plus, I don't think Vegeta would like to use condoms...
Once again, as happened to me in October, I wasn't planning Trunks to be conceived this year, but then... Time wouldn't fit.
I must confess it's the first time I notice how fast Bulma and Vegeta got together... Oh, well... I wanted trunks to be conceived later and make romance longer... But... Sometimes you have to do what you have to do.
I wanted to add something. As far as we know, Vegeta could be a real jerk at home... A goofy man... For those of you who have seen DBGT, when Vegeta shaves and walks around the house playing cool... Well... that's an example.
But I can't help it... In this fic he's tough, bad and sexy. Just as I like my men... (HAHAHAHAA! As if I had more than one... Snif... As if I had at least one...)
THAT's ENOUGH...
See ya!