I wrote this story two years ago, and after having read it again, I have decided to edit the entire piece. It's been a really long time, but I've been needing more time to finish this. Two years in fact.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Please read :) give my story a try, thanks!
Dita:
It has been months since I've talked to Hibiki. Yes, Hibiki, not some alien guy. Sense has finally hit me. He is just my co-pilot… sometimes. These days I really don't notice him much.
I realized a few months ago that I was truly obsessed with a dream. Really… What was that? I have wasted too much time thinking that I had to do something for him. I'd think: "He'd like me again in the end anyway." Hah! But now I realize the truth! I was trying to break free. I just didn't think I could. It was as if I had to be with him or I had to be perfect for him. But now I know! I've been so blind, and now that I am free of him, I've never felt better!
But still, I can't help admitting that when I see him with the others, I really do feel confused and awful inside. He looks so happy and so perfectly alright without me. I suppose I was never really anything to him. I suppose I never meant much. It's awful thinking about it, but I have moved on. I'm Hibiki-free! And it's better this way…
Right?
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I walked into the mess hall looking for Pai. I've been able to stay with her more often now, or I'd stay with Ezra and Parfet. It depends on who's around but, I really have gotten attached to Parfet. I tell her everything… I guess. I mean, I do trust her, and I tell her most everything but not about Hibiki. I just can't. Maybe I'd be able to tell her one day, but I can't for some reason. I just don't know how I'm supposed to explain myself.
I spotted Pai in a corner table, and we began our usual overly dramatic conversations about how Duero was different with Parfet. There was always much teasing involved and much hidden laughter, but it was always fun to talk about. Interestingly enough though, Pai has never mentioned Hibiki. I mean, I was rather obvious wasn't I? I'm sure my stalking-Hibiki-tendencies have surpassed whatever Duero and Parfet have shown. Could she possibly understand what I went through? Did she know? Whatever it was, Pai never strayed into that topic. And I was definitely thankful that she stayed away.
Pai excused herself just then and went to get more food while I sat alone in the table. I spent this time ogling and observing the hungry crew around me. They were all so happy. It seemed so perfect and here I was… the defect, the imperfection disturbing the peaceful order of things. The epitome of an unknown emptiness, and true to the irony of things, it was then that I spotted Hibiki from the corner of my eye. Great! Perfect timing. Of course, Misty was with him again. They both seemed so happy walking across the room (well at least she was). I just smiled knowing that I wouldn't have to worry about them ever again. Remember?
I am Hibiki-free.
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The mess hall was practically empty but I chose to sit in my place. I just wanted to see everyone go. The lights were dimming, and it really was getting late. But still, I sat quietly on my chair playing carelessly with my left-over noodles. One of my noodles was unusually whiter than the rest and I tried to pick it up with my chopsticks for a better look. It was then that someone sat in front of me.
"Hey Dita"
It was Hibiki. The monster from my past has returned. I gave a weak smile. It was easy smiling like that. I mean I really don't feel anything for the guy. He was just someone who just happened to be there. Strangely enough, a seemingly glum face replaced the usually cocky grin. To be honest, he didn't look so good. I asked him if he was alright. Of course, he said yes, but the tone in his voice said otherwise. It seemed as if he was carrying some weight around. I looked at him quite quizzically but he just stared at the white noodle in my bowl.
"Hey, I still remember what your noodles taste like..."
That was weird of him to say. I thanked him anyway, and I offered to give him some if I cooked any. He smiled, but it didn't seem to brighten his mood.
"Dita, I..."
Misty had come in, and Hibiki's words stopped in midair. She called for him and told him to hurry up. He had to see her room. After all, she had just fixed it up again. He smiled at me dryly and he headed off towards Misty's direction.
Funny, I don't remember it being that easy. I just remembered that Hibiki never did come to my room. I did ask him to come, but… Oh well, there was nothing to see or tell him anyway.
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I walked into my room feeling quite tired and exhausted. The room was quiet and warm, and I just flung unto my bed and smiled. Overall, today was a good day. The enemy didn't harass us, and I didn't care at all when Hibiki came to talk to me. I must really be Hibiki-free.
I was drifting off into a dream when I suddenly heard someone at my door. Half asleep, I walked towards it cautiously. I opened it and peered at the person standing before me. It was him. It was Hibiki. He was nervously moving his hands and he looked so uneasy. I asked him what he wanted, and he asked if he could come in, but I refused. I told him that it was late and that I was too sleepy to entertain guests. "Besides" I said, "What would we talk about?"
Hibiki stared at me with his sullen eyes, and I suddenly felt that I had done everything all wrong. I kicked myself mentally when I saw his smile fade. What was I supposed to do? I hesitated but I couldn't leave him like this. Yes, he could stay but just for a while.
He smiled weakly and came in. He walked towards me, but I backed up so that I was sure that there was a considerable space between us. This was getting awkward.
He needed help. Apparently, Misty had become a burden to him. He wanted her to at least stop following him, and he complained about how "leech-like" she was. That hurt me a bit. I knew I was like that... once. He kept on talking, but I just couldn't listen anymore. But despite my voluntary inability to hear him, I knew that he was stalling. There was something else.
"Dita, I.."
He stopped. I looked at him but he was staring at the floor.
"never mind... thanks though..."
He left quietly, and I just stood there quietly. Strange, I felt my insides turn. I felt so uneasy.
No! Nothing is changing. I'm happy now as it is... or am I?
Hibiki:
I walked slowly out of Dita's room. I tried to tell her the truth, but I'm only human. I'm not perfect. She's so different but I know that somehow she's still the same inside. I saw it when I was talking to her. It hurts when I see her. She looks so cold. Yeah, she's happy... but not with me. She used to be, right? Or was she always so unhappy?
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I walked into the darkness of my room and my head filled with thoughts and memories of Dita. Was it because of Misty that I hardly saw Dita? Its true that I can't deny the fact that Misty did captivate me. She's really nice and all. I like her a lot, but just as a friend.
Somehow, I feel that Dita isn't just a friend. I always thought it was that way. I mean I knew that we'd always have something. Even if we didn't see each other as often as before, there was still something. Maybe she doesn't think of it that way... maybe its just all me... Wasn't there something? I'm not that handsome or brilliant but... I'm not that bad...
I sank into depression.
Dita... she has forgotten me, but I miss her. I never thought I'd put it that way, but what's the use of hiding it? I miss being treated like an equal, like I'm worth something. Only Dita made me feel that way. Sure, she did get annoying. I couldn't take her half the time, but... I knew that there was more to her. I fell in love with her quiet, serious side, but she always seemed to mask it with her antics. But I knew that somewhere deep inside of her was someone really real, and I saw that person every time I was with her.
Dita:
The enemy finally found us. Strangely, the battle finished rather fast. Maybe it was because, Hibiki was with me. We joined together… something that hasn't happened in months. I suppose the enemy did not expect us to use it again. I'm not sure. I just think it was too easy...
The battle was over. I was so tired. I leaned back and completely forgot that he was there. I pushed away as quickly as I could while saying sorry. His hands were still holding mine, but really come on. We couldn't move after all, and there was no other way that we could have been seated. We were far too tired to just budge, but I felt so uneasy. This wasn't right... I didn't want to be here. I suggested that we separate, but I received no answer.
Hibiki was breathing roughly. I noticed that he looked like he was in some pain. I then noticed that my sleeve was heavier. It was red all over! I looked all over my arm for a wound. Nothing! Then where? Hibiki!
Hibiki:
Ugh... I feel so weak. My arm feels so numb, but I know that it is bleeding. I can hear Dita screaming. I'm trying to say something... anything but I can't. She looks so hazy. I only remember getting hit, but Dita didn't notice so I just decided to wait until the battle was over. I just wanted to save Nirvana, to save Dita.
I really do feel weak. I thought the wound was a minor one but if I feel this bad, I must've lost a lot of blood. Is this it? Do I still have time? I have to tell her. I tried to tell her. I whispered it but she couldn't understand. She was crying and I realized I was too. I had to tell her. She crept nearer and put her ear near my lips. I whispered but I couldn't give it out clearly...
"Dita, I'm sorry!..."
"I ... Lo-ove.."
Huuuh! Air! I needed to breath. How banged up am I? Why do I feel so bad? Dita, don't go... I have to tell you…
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Well what do you think? Sappy? Too impossible? Please review :)
The edited version may be worse or even surprisingly better, but please do review. I just feel that I need to revise this so that I can find a means to finish it.